This movie is about a rich guy who's doing it all wrong. Some people just can't handle holding material authority over nearly everyone in their lives. If I was a rich guy, I'd do it right. I would be a COOL rich guy. No one would ever feel unco

[Denis Envy] Prisoners

Feb 8th, 2023 2h 29m

Hugh's out this ep, so it's Pat, John and bonus Joshua yukking and snarfing through a tense, gripping drama about fatherhood, human depravity and creative carpentry.Never Relevant knows that podcasting is the war we wage against god. You shou

Ambulance

Jan 23rd, 2023 2h 20m

Damn king really sorry to hear that the insurance claim for your terminally ill son's lifesaving surgery didn't go through. Hey, wanna come rob a bank with me and some guys i met last week? Cool, we're leaving in 15 minutes. Don't worry, I have

The Gray Man

Jan 15th, 2023 2h 1m

A mythic clash of titans, the ultimate power fantasy - a swag-zero CIA pariah wading through choking wreaths of CG smoke in a display of inhuman willpower to wreak pretty mild vengeance on his natural enemy: a swagged out private military golf

Prom Night 2 - Hello Mary Lou

Dec 6th, 2022 1h 36m

This one goes out to Sex Horse. You're a real American hero, Sex Horse. Never Relevant is sensually riding Sex Horse. You should listen to each episode while you watch the movie or show it's about, but you don't have to. It is hosted by Patri

It (2017)

Nov 16th, 2022 2h 9m

Get in line maggot, you're about to receive tactical lore from the operator sages of Stephen King Strategic Command in the form of an intensive two-and-a-half hour case study on repelling an evil god by channeling warrior spirit. If you're read

[Halloween Double Feature] Halloween 3: Season of the Witch

Oct 31st, 2022 1h 39m

(To the tune of London Bridges) Zero more days 'til Halloween, Halloween, Halloween; zero more days 'til Halloween, fire the druidic laser! Never Relevant offers three high-quality masks to choose from - we have the classic Patrick, the fun a

[Halloween Double Feature] Don’t Look Now

Oct 31st, 2022 1h 59m

In part B of our unexpectedly child death-heavy Halloween double feature, it's time to explore the scariest haunted house of all: Italy.Never Relevant is the first full-frontal sex scene in podcasting. You should listen to each episode while

Serenity

Oct 16th, 2022 1h 42m

Just a chill, meditative movie about fishin' for the big one.Never Relevant is out there on the dock with a line in the water, enjoying the sea breeze and the feeling of sand between its toes. You should listen to each episode while you watch

[Tom Cruise’s Sea Org Slave Galleon] Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol

Oct 7th, 2022 2h 13m

A list of things kept in the under-kremlin: the microfiche (but it's missing!); the mystic orb that granted Simon Pegg his career; an idol of a nameless, angry god; a gun that makes people hear dripping sounds; the Simon Pegg single-target illu

Detention

Sep 13th, 2022 1h 30m

CHAPTER CARD: PODCAST BLUES -- Interior, Daily Wire cigar room and debate colosseum, golden hour. JOHN, PATRICK, and HUGH are seated in GAMER CHAIRS. -- PATRICK: Guys, this is serious - the podcast prom is next week, and after all the libel

Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 2

Aug 11th, 2022 1h 49m

Finally, our last deep huff of teen stink. I'm holding this movie in my arms, staring into its eyes; we're breathing weirdly, our faces look miserable. That's what love is like - dramatic, overwrought. It's not fun, but the performance of agony

[Tom Cruise’s Sea Org Slave Galleon] Mission Impossible 3

Jul 26th, 2022 2h 14m

Pat and John live miserable half-lives in the endless ventilation duct that is the Mission Impossible series, soaking in our own sweat as we watch the shadows cast by the fluorescent light that flickers through the blades of the HVAC fans. Silh

[Tom Cruise’s Sea Org Slave Galleon] Mission Impossible 2

Jul 16th, 2022 2h 8m

As director, John Woo infused the second installment of the Mission Impossible franchise with his characteristic flair for elaborate action choreography and mind-blowing stunts. At the time the movie was filmed and released, however, very few w

Cat in the Hat

Jun 27th, 2022 1h 20m

....... this one was a bad idea.Never Relevant has exactly two nightmarish song and dance numbers to threaten you with over the next 90 minutes. You should listen to each episode while you watch the movie or show it's about, but you don't hav

[Tom Cruise’s Sea Org Slave Galleon] Mission Impossible

Jun 14th, 2022 1h 50m

In this episode, Pat and John are assassinated by a Langley company himbo for attempting to divulge sensitive information about the CIA training facility known only as Spy Mountain.Never Relevant is . You should listen to each episode while y

[Tom Cruise’s Sea Org Slave Galleon] Top Gun

Jun 6th, 2022 1h 46m

Inside each and every one of us there is a young Tom Cruise who just wants to ride his kawasaki down to the airfield and cry while watching planes - Freud called this Tom Cruise the superego. There is also the ego, a Tom Cruise who wants to fol

Spawn

May 20th, 2022 1h 35m

johnny leguizamo round goth clown rotten pizza feeding inflation and explosion ao3 oops sorry wrong browser tab, was trying to google something. Never Relevant is a vengeful undead operator with hellish powers. You should listen to each epi

The Ring (US)

May 5th, 2022 1h 53m

This week we're watching a minidisc that showed up on the doorstep of the big trash can where we all live. Wish us luck! Never Relevant is a podcast that will definitely not go mysteriously and permanently silent in seven days. You should lis

[SCUFFED] Thirteen Ghosts

Apr 18th, 2022 1h 27m

Never Relevant started with a simple observation. When we climbed to the crow's nest of the content pirate ship to survey the stormy seas of content with our content spyglass, spotted the shore of Contentopia where we would climb Mount Contever

Return of the Living Dead

Apr 9th, 2022 1h 31m

The scenario writing for this week's feature involved one of the guys who helped screenwrite the shockingly violent, seminal 1968 zombie flick Dawn of the Dead, and his apparent takeaway from the experience was something along the lines of "hah

Resident Evil

Mar 28th, 2022 1h 37m

Buckle up, scrubs: this week we take a break from phoning it in with the same tired old movie commentary to talk about our real passion - video games. Through, of course, the medium of movie tie-ins, and you know we're starting with the pinnacl

The Faculty

Mar 18th, 2022 1h 43m

SLUG QUEEN IS READY FOR THE BIG HUMAN GAME ON THE WEEKDAY KNOWN TO HUMANS AS FRI DAY. SLUG QUEEN SEES THROUGH SLUG DRONES' CLEAR EYES. SLUG QUEEN FEELS BEATING OF SLUG DRONES' FULL HEARTS. Never Relevant exists to serve the slug queen and

Twilight - Breaking Dawn Part 1

Mar 3rd, 2022 1h 48m

At some point in your second century of unlife, you may find yourself experiencing urges - a compulsion to huff the ripe funk of a barely-legal teenager with emotionless shark eyes; an inexplicable desire to form the world's grossest polycule w

Nobody

Feb 24th, 2022 1h 31m

Have you ever felt emasculated, listener? Is your day-to-day a carousel of castrated banality and humiliation, and the only brass ring in sight is the cold comfort of inevitable death? Does your boss call all-hands meetings where your coworkers