CHAPTER CARD: PODCAST BLUES 

-- Interior, Daily Wire cigar room and debate colosseum, golden hour. JOHN, PATRICK, and HUGH are seated in GAMER CHAIRS. -- 

PATRICK: Guys, this is serious - the podcast prom is next week, and after all the libel we've slung at Tom Cruise we're less popular than ever. We've gotta do something to salvage our reputation or I'm gonna get bullied so hard my mom will unschool me! 

HUGH: I wish your mom would unschool me. 

PATRICK: Ugh, gross. 

JOHN (inner monologue): I really hope the guys don't notice that I've accidentally superglued my lips shut. Gosh this is so embarrassing. 

HUGH: OK, how about this: what if we threaten to dox one of the four super science geniuses in our class, force them to make us a gundam, sell it on the dark web for a ton of cash, and throw a huge sick rager that will - will.... 

PATRICK: Will what? 

*Hugh points a shaking finger at the curtain over the cigar room's massive bay window, where a suspicious shadow looms - the immediately identifiable silhouette of a flying saucer* 

HUGH: Wuh oh. 

JOHN: Wuh oh. 

PATRICK: Wuh oh. 

GAMER CHAIRS: Wuh oh.