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Welcome back to Real and Raw with Ben Taylor. Each week, I step into this podcast

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with no agenda, with no direction, with no purpose of saying,

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hey, this is exactly what I'm going to talk about.

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I just step in revealing and showing and talking through the challenges that

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I had over this past week. Talking through some of the things that I focused on inside of a process called stacking.

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Stacking is a process that I'm actually working on building a course and also

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an example of how people can learn how to stack,

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how they can actually get access to the software and how other people can start

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to live this way and learn how to be able to process emotions, feelings.

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Deal with triggers, because it's been so influential and so helpful for me.

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I know it can be really helpful for other people as well.

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So one of the processes is we're working on actually developing this so people

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will be able to see and hear and understand how to actually stack,

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what this actually means and how to move forward. So stay tuned for that because

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that's coming on the pipe. Anyways, this whole process that I do inside of this podcast is sharing,

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sharing some of the challenges, sharing some of the things.

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I'm going to walk through a couple stacks because a lot of my focus this week was on gratitude,

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just being thankful for where I'm currently at, being thankful for the things

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that opened up, being thankful for different pieces that I learned and understand

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now coming through this past week. week.

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Then we'll step into one of my prayer stacks this week and incident that happened

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yesterday or the day before, and then we'll kind of walk through this. Okay.

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So inside of this, I stepped into a gratitude stack earlier on in the week,

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around Tuesday, and was saying, this is a couple of things that I can do.

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I can focus on the problems that I have at hand, or I can focus on being in the presence of God.

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I can focus on being connected to a higher power versus me versus the issues

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and the problems that I'm seeing. I can focus on one of two things. I can focus on the problems in front of me,

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or I can choose to look at his presence. It's an option that I have every single day.

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God is here for me to be able to rely on. He has his arms open wide to accept me.

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I have to run into his presence versus staying here focused on the problems

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I have because for him, they do not exist.

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There's one thing that was interesting is the problems that that I have on a

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day-to-day basis don't exist for God.

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Now, it doesn't mean that they don't exist at all because he sees them,

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he knows them, he understands them. They're just not a problem for him, right? They're not like an issue for him

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at all, because it's not something that he has to deal with.

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I'm the one that deals with it. And the majority of my problems are from my

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own selfish responses, ego, like triggers, different pieces.

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And so inside of this, I've been stepping into a place of learning to be able

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to trust and to rely on him. And that's been super hard.

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We've talked through this in a couple different aspects of me letting go of control, right?

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Letting go of how I'm showing up, letting go of what's actually going on inside

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of all of this, being able to let go and let God control.

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And so inside of this, I have to step into a place of being letting go and being

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willing to just figure out the path that I'm on as I go.

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As I continue to go through life, I have to be willing to let it affect me and

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grow myself as I unlock who I am day to day.

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When we step into specific thoughts about this, I don't have to have it all figured out.

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The other day I had thoughts stepping into a certain call of things not being

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good enough, when in reality, I'm exactly where God wants me now,

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and I'm developing and opening up a whole new version of myself.

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So inside of Warrior, one of the things that Garrett has done is he's gone through

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and he's recorded videos over a book that he's written.

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And this book is developing and is talking through how to actually live the warrior's way.

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And this is a process that I've been going through in recording the same exact

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stuff, but in my own voice, my own version of it.

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And so setting this all up so that we can actually communicate this to massive

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amounts of people of how they can actually live this way.

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Like the transformation that happened in my life and that is happening,

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how it's possible for anybody and everybody in actually showing the step-by-step guide.

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So inside of this, one of the things is he will oftentimes play one of the chapters

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in his book for us to be able to listen to.

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And then we We will do a stack on it. We'll do a share. We'll talk through what did we learn.

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And so I watched one of his the other day when I was on one of the calls,

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and there was a piece of me that was comparing. It wasn't as bad as what it was before.

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There's a piece of me that's just comparing, like he's been doing this for 12 years.

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I've been doing this for 12 months. And so there's a piece of understanding,

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hey, I need to have grace for myself just with everything going on and what I'm trying to learn.

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And at the same time, it also gave me a standard. It gave me an idea.

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But what I realized and what came out of it is the simple fact that I'm exactly where I am right now.

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He's speaking based on all of his experience. I'm speaking based on all of my

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experience. So as a result, my videos aren't going to be as good.

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They're not going to be as amazing or profound or impactful in that frame.

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And that means a year down the road, I'll probably reshoot them.

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I'll probably re-record them. We're getting ready to re-record 45 Day Clarity Challenge.

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We just recorded a Thriver course. We just finished recording the Warrior's Way book video series.

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So there's a lot of different things that we're putting out there that need

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to get updated dated simply because I'm different than who I was before.

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So inside of all this, I'm thinking through, man, mine aren't that great.

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I need to improve on mine, all these same things.

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And then I step into our Thriver launch call. This is people that have completed

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and moved through our Thriver community and ones that are signed on and they're

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moving forward with me for a year inside of a group program.

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And inside of this, I did the same thing. I played one of my assets,

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One of my videos that I'd recorded for the Warriors Way video course,

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and then people share and they got something out of it.

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And I think there was a piece of me that was almost surprised because I'm looking

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at it thinking this isn't that good.

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Like I need to adjust a couple of things. But the end of the day,

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this is the quality of what I need right here right now.

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Because there's people to the left of me that don't know this stuff,

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that would love to be able to hear it, and that are going to gain and glean knowledge from it.

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Then there's people to the right of me that have done this for many years.

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And they're the ones that I look up to of trying to learn and glean from as well.

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And so inside of this, it was a really cool experience. I used my asset inside

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of a call, and then had people discuss and talk about it.

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And it just really made me realize that no matter where I am,

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apart from like his quality or what it looks like, It doesn't matter.

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What matters is I'm showing up right here, right now. And so I wrote,

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I'm exactly where I should be right now. Judging or looking too far ahead only discourages me from the reality that I'm

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right where I need to be. That is okay. Do the content that speaks to me right here, right now. Focus on it so that

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I can continue to rise up and to continue to move forward.

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I have to be willing to give myself a lot of grace.

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Then I don't feel the pressure to get it just right or just get it perfect.

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I have to show up and let God lead inside of all this. And so I mentioned like,

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what do I want for myself in this? I want to have grace in what I produce and what I develop because I'm changing.

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I'm growing. So the content I put out is going to be different than what I've done before.

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That's okay. It's just part of the journey that I'm on here.

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And I have to continue moving forward one step at a time.

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If you go back and you look at my content a year ago, two years ago,

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three years ago, it is vastly different.

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My voice is different. My communication is different.

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My tone is different. My tempo is different. Like my tune is different.

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Like there's so many different things that are different in how I communicate,

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what I speak on, how I focus on certain things.

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It doesn't mean that it's good or bad, but it does mean I'm growing and developing

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in a lot of different ways. There's topics in the past that I probably should be speaking to now.

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There's pieces in the past that I was totally misaligned on and shouldn't have

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been speaking on at all because I didn't understand it to the level that I understand it now.

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There's so many different things that have transformed and that have changed.

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Just the other day, I was looking back on a couple of videos and I went back

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and I watched some of the videos that I recorded a year and a half ago inside

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of the 45 day clarity challenge.

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And I realized instantly that there is a huge reason of why I'm going back and

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rerecording it because the person that I saw on the video wasn't me.

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Not the version of who I am now, not the person that stands here with a different

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sense of certainty and confidence and power.

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That person showed it at that level, but that level is not like this level, the person who I am.

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So I'm watching this video I'm going through because we're working on downloading

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everything so we can transcribe and get things ready to reproduce the entire

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45 day clarity challenge this month. And when I did it, I sent a picture to my wife. life

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she got the picture and she immediately started

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laughing and it wasn't as laughing because she

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thought i was an idiot or anything like that but she was laughing because when

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she looked at the picture she her first response to me was you don't even look

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like that guy like you don't even you don't even show up like that guy this

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is a year and a half ago the biggest thing that i noticed inside the picture

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is i'm fat compared to now like i probably had about 30 to a 33% body fat,

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had about another 15 pounds or so added on me. And at that time, I thought I was fit.

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It's hilarious. Now, it's completely different. Not that my life is based around fitness.

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Honestly, the majority of time, I don't really like working out.

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I don't really like fitness because for me, it's annoying.

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It takes up part of my day and it's not something that I just run to and that

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I'm super excited about. But for me, it's a dedication piece. It's an investment piece saying,

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I'm going to show up and I'm going to do what's required to develop the discipline

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that's needed to transform my body, my mindset, my energy every single day.

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And so inside of this, I just was faced with the stark reality of how much life

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has changed in a year and a half, how my body has changed, how our marriage has changed, how my connection with

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God has radically transformed since that last year and a half,

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and how business has completely changed. Everything has massively shifted, massively grown and accelerated in so many different ways.

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And so inside of this, it's still giving myself grace of everything that has

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happened, everything I've gone through, everything that has moved me from where

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I am to where I am today. It's amazing.

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So there's another piece inside of this where I move into another gratitude

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stack where I'm talking through the piece that has grown has been my confidence and my certainty.

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When I was out at council in two weeks ago, yeah, two weeks ago,

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and I was out there and noticed one of the things that was different was the

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fact of how I protected my energy and my space from people more than I ever have before.

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And in doing this, it's let less people inside of my peers of other coaches, is.

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It's let less people come to me and ask me for advice.

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It's more been, hey, do the work. This is where I got the information.

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Go find it yourself. And inside of this is not to be a jerk or not to be mean

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to people, but there's this piece of, I have to protect my energy. So I serve my family.

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So I serve myself and how I'm growing, developing.

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And so I serve my clients. And there's a piece of that, that certainty that

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was getting affected by it being kind of pulled in a lot of different ways from other people.

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And so I wrote a gratitude stack in saying, hey, in this moment,

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my confidence, my growth, my certainty has been moving up more and more and more.

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Inside of this, the more I rely on God, the more that I'm not fearing what is

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happening and what is coming next. Instead, I'm stepping out in faith each and every day, knowing that he's going

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to provide a way for me to rise, to grow and develop.

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I have this piece of positivity that I've not always had.

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I'm still uncovering it all and still growing in it, but it is a confidence

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that I've got this with God.

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I know that I can continue to do what He's called me to do, and there isn't

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fear that is controlling my life right now.

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It might come tomorrow. It might come the next week, but I'm learning how to

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deal with it, how to process it in a different way.

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I want to be able to rise to a place where I know and realize that I have eradicated

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fear in the presence of who I am in Christ.

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I know this is a part of the journey and the evolution of letting go.

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So there's a lot of pieces of just looking at this past year and the past things

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that have happened and being able to connect and being able to see how much

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has changed, how much has shifted, how much has grown.

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I did this inside of another gratitude stack, just focusing on each of the domains.

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Kayla and I were sitting in the car the other day with date night,

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and we are currently just thinking through, man, life is so much different now than it is two years ago.

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Like The flexibility that we have to be able to do the things we need to do,

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to be able to connect with the people, we have tons of amazing opportunities

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to do a lot of things that we never could before. There's this huge flexibility of what we can do, where we can go.

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It's been a wild and incredible journey. Mentioned through a couple of different things, my body, working out the last

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year, starting to show up different than it has in a long time.

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My connection with God, even through meditation, even though sometimes it seems

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spotty, it's still growing and developing so much because he's spoken to me so much.

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Kale and I connected on a whole different level, more than we've ever been connected before.

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Business is growing and booming. We're in a place where I could have never imagined

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or expected my life to be. So inside of this, the life that I'm living right now, I never could have seen.

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I could have never expected at all. It's been huge in changing my mindset, my thought process.

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I know that I'm stepping through life at a different pace and a different direction

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than what I've seen before. This is huge in the past two years of of transformation.

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What are some facts? What are some facts about this? Body. I've dropped 9% body

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fat just in the past year. I'm dialing in the testosterone, so in the next two months, I will be optimized.

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Being. I'm connected to God spiritually through meditation, reading the Bible

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through the entire year, praying and connecting more than I've done before.

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Balance. Relationships. Holding space for Kayla. Opening the door of connection more than ever.

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Learning how to step into more vulnerability of how I'm feeling,

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being able to express and expose the shame that I have.

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Excited for the new baby that's on the way. Like there's a lot of new things that are happening.

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Business, we've doubled year after year. I've added to the team almost too fast

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because there's a lot of people on the team, but it's making a foundation that will grow long term to expand and develop

14:35

to help the movement continue to grow of people being liberated and rising up.

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Inside of all this, I want all ships to rise. I want all four areas,

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body, being, balance, and business. The abundance that I'm seeking all areas to continue to rise and develop.

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I don't know the path inside of this.

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Understand this. I don't know the direction of how I'm going to do this.

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I have an idea and I'm going to continue to grow and develop on all of them,

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but it's going to take a lot of innovation and trust and growth.

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It's just going to take time. And so inside of this is giving myself grace,

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but it's also getting to the place of understanding I have evidence.

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I I have facts that are demonstrating and showing to myself and to others of

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how I'm showing up differently. All right. That's the gratitude piece. There's a couple other,

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but I'm not going to dive into those because I want to get to the meat and potatoes of today.

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All right. So inside of this, there was an interesting process,

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an interesting thing that happened just the other night.

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I'm going to pull up the stack because I want to get it right.

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I'm going to read the kind of backwards so I make sure that it actually connects.

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Here we go. Last night, I'm painting a little last bit of the accent wall for the baby's room.

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And Sophia comes in around 930.

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It was almost two hours past her bedtime.

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So she'd already been in bed for about two hours. She comes in asking for help.

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At this point, I'm slightly annoyed that she's there because she's supposed

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to be sleeping. I'm like, why are you still awake? I'm getting ready to go to bed in like 30 minutes. Why are you even still up?

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She needs to sleep. She's been tired.

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She's been coughing some, just some dry air that we had when we were in California

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and things like that where where she's not sick, but she's just coughing.

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Anyways, so she needs to sleep to feel better, right? And so she comes in asking for help. And inside of the middle of all the things

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I'm doing, I'm trying to paint this trim, I'm trying to finish up.

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I don't really want to get bothered, right? There's a piece where I'm like,

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I'm trying to get what I need to get done because I don't have a whole lot of time.

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But she stayed in there. She started talking to me and just asking for help with toilet paper.

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And I was like, what in the world are you talking about? I was like,

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do you need me to change the toilet paper? Because a lot of times she can't

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get that swapped out. And she She was like, no. And so I finished up some of the trim and then went with her.

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And I walked in because I was just, I was just annoyed.

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I was like, you don't need help going to bed. You just need to go to bed.

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And I walked in a room and it looked like someone had set off a toilet paper grenade.

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There was pieces of toilet paper everywhere.

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Like it was a giant mess. I'm posing a picture on like social media of it after

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we cleaned it up, like after we picked stuff up.

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But inside of this I was just frustrated because she

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wanted help picking up all the toilet paper that she'd

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ripped up into tiny pieces and spread all throughout the floor

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and I was annoyed like I

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was annoyed because she was supposed to be in bed like instead she decided to

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mess up her entire room and then asked me to help clean it up I told her that

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point no that she was gonna have to pick it up in the morning and she started

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to cry I didn't want to pick it up I told her she chose to make the mess so

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she can clean it up in the morning and so inside of this I'm putting her in

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in a spot where she's reaching out to me for help and I was just completely shutting her down.

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I stayed with her a couple of minutes and then I went out. I was looking for

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Kayla because I just I was at wit's end at that point. I was I don't know what to do.

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So she came up and she heard the part of the conversation. She heard Sophia start to crying.

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And she then told me, hey, Sophia specifically came downstairs and was looking

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for you so that she could ask you for help.

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And, you know, like if you continue to come at her this way,

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if you continue to not help her, support her, she's not going to feel safe coming

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to you about this stuff if you react like this. This is just like spilled milk. It's not that big of a deal.

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Some people make it a giant deal, but it's not really that big a deal.

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That's when the shame hit me. In that moment, shame and guilt hit me like a truck.

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I hadn't handled it right at all. I was frustrated. I was frustrated myself at that point.

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And Kayla started to say something else, but at this point, I just just felt

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the way of the shame and it felt like all consuming.

18:31

So I was just like, just deal with it. Just go on, just fix it. Fine. I screwed it up.

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It is this piece where like, when I feel shame, I want to be able to run away and hide.

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I want to push everyone away, run, run away and hide and, and just ignore everything.

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And so I went downstairs. I finished up the paint. I cleaned up, put the dogs away, get everything done.

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Didn't really talk much, went up to bed. And then Kayla went up. She had Sophia pick up the majority of the toilet paper.

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Then then Kayla went through and vacuumed all the small pieces up.

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And then Sophia went through and picked up any pieces that she'd missed.

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And so she didn't just do it for her because that was partly why I was annoyed too.

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And, but after she was done, Sophia went, it was back in bed.

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I went up and I apologize, but I can still feel the internal annoyance.

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Like I can still feel that like, this is what I need to do.

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I need to apologize to her, but there's a piece where but I'm still frustrated.

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I still feel this piece of shame. And I walk into the bedroom and Kayla tries to talk to me. And there's a point

19:28

where I just, I don't know how to communicate some of this stuff.

19:31

I don't know how to open up. There's a piece that whenever I feel this level of shame, I just want to curl up in a ball and cry.

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That's really the best way to be able to put it. Like it felt like in the moment

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I was putting up walls and just wanting to hide and die by myself.

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At the same time, I'm wanting someone to break down those walls because I don't

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know how to break them down. That's, that's how it feels. I just, I don't know. I'm trying to explain it.

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I don't know if I'm explaining it right. I don't know how to handle those feelings. Like, I don't know how to open up in that moment.

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And then there's this part of just immense shame where I know I did something

20:04

wrong and I know that it's not helping our daughter and that it's hurting her

20:08

and it's hurting her perception of me and it's hurting her, her perspective of God at the same time.

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This is what I mean by this. God is showing me him through me and through that moment.

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I felt like I was failing that completely.

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I wasn't showing my daughter unconditional love. She messed up, so I was judging.

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She made a wreck of her room, so then there was this rift of,

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it's not okay to clean it up. This is painting the same stupid messed up picture of God that I've had for a lot of my life.

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The struggle I'm facing now is it's so hard to work on getting getting rid of

20:45

that judgmental, mad God at me that I have to get cleaned up in order to be

20:49

seen, in order to be loved. And the very thing I'm struggling with is the thing that I'm doing to her.

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This is also where the pit and the feelings of guilt and shame took over in

20:56

such a massive way to a degree that I didn't get it or understand how to process it.

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I don't know how to feel about it, just the overwhelming part that I was a failure.

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In so many ways, a failure as a father, a failure as a representative of God,

21:08

like a failure of showing her the wrong version of who God looks like or how

21:12

that would be. and it only is going to hurt her long term.

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And so inside of this, I'm realizing that God is trying to unlock certain parts

21:20

of me. He's trying to unlock certain things.

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So let me go back up to the beginning of the stack, because some of this started in meditation.

21:28

And so the following morning, because this happened one evening and the next

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morning is when I'm writing the stack. That's why I'm reading it backwards.

21:35

So I can give you context of what we're actually talking about.

21:38

So in the next morning, I step into a meditation and there's just a lot.

21:42

I'm going to skim over some of it because I don't know if I'd be able to get to everything.

21:45

But there was this piece of where I realized that I was going to spend a little

21:50

bit of time in meditation and Jesus was going to try to introduce me to God the Father.

21:54

This has been a whole conversation. You've probably heard it in some of my other

21:57

podcasts of this is something that I haven't been able to vision,

22:00

I haven't been able to see. So inside of this, I started walking with Jesus, walking inside the meditation

22:06

to be able to say, okay, what are we going to learn?

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And instantly my vision in one sense changed.

22:12

It was really interesting and it got really weird.

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Inside of this, I found myself in our family car with my wife,

22:20

with my daughter, and we're in this busy city that has looting and mobbing going on in the moment.

22:27

So picture like Chicago, New York, something like that, where it's all we're

22:30

all hell breaks loose, right? And you see the videos on social media, I see the videos on the news of people

22:35

smashing stuff, smashing cars, attacking cars that are just driving by all that comes.

22:39

That was a situation. So high conflict, like, like endangerment of life.

22:44

And there's this piece of we're driving through this, and then they start coming

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after us start coming after our car. I do whatever I have to do to drive away drive through to get past this.

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And we get to a place where the car eventually like stops

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and then I get out and I'm literally like fighting these

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people trying to keep them from pulling my wife and

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my daughter out of the car and then it like

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switched slightly and all of a sudden when it changed it was then me in the

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car with my family and there was this like version of God the Father outside

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fighting for me fighting to save me fighting the demons that want to take me

23:21

down fighting the very entities that want to take my life inside Inside of this moment,

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the thought that came to my mind inside of all of this was, why me?

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And the answer that came back in that moment was because I'm loved,

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because I'm favored, because I'm called.

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God loves and cares about me just like a father that would do anything to protect his family.

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God the Father was doing the same for me in that moment. He laid waste to the

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people, the demons that were coming after me, and I could feel his love and

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presence and support there to uphold me.

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Then instantly I was back with Jesus. It was like a shock. It was like in the

23:53

moment, then back out of the moment. It was very quick. And there's a piece where I felt like connected. Like I felt this part of God's

24:00

connection to me. And I saw that in that moment of he loves me.

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Then all of a sudden there was a moment where I was back on the edge of a cliff

24:06

walking along with Jesus. This goes back to multiple meditations that have come to this point.

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And I was looking down and seeing like the millions that were inside these canyons

24:14

that I'm called to serve. And as we walked down, I actually saw as we walked further down the side of

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the cliff towards the outcoming where the version of me stands on the top of

24:23

the hill speaking speaking and proclaiming, something looked different than what it was before.

24:26

It was almost like it had a different version or a different perspective.

24:30

Instead of there being this piece of blue lightning coming down from heaven,

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there was blue lightning coming through me from behind.

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And inside of this, this is some of the power and the influence just communicating

24:40

a message to be able to liberate people.

24:43

And there was this interesting piece where as I look, there was two hands on

24:48

my back that had this blue lightning coming through them into me.

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And the two hands on my back were from God the Father standing behind me in upholding, uplifting.

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The blue lightning was emanating from him and coursing through his arms and

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hands into me and then refracting through me into the millions in the canyon below.

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I was amazed. How is this even possible? God the Father was here in this moment

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supporting me, upholding me, lifting me up.

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It was an incredible experience to see and understand how he is there for me

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and supporting me right here, right now. Then I was back with Jesus on the beach again. One more stop that we need to

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make. This time when we arrived there, it was warm and sunny.

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It was like a farm, a park, a bench. I don't know. It was moving in one sense,

25:30

but it was a place of rest. And inside of this, it was resting in God the Father.

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There's a moment of me sitting down beside him and the fact that he was just

25:40

there and seeing and acknowledging this piece of being able to rest in his presence.

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And what came out of this in that moment was partly of what I'm reading inside

25:50

of a new book about sonship with God is this aspect of I cannot connect with

25:55

God if I'm not willing and able to connect with myself.

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If I have a wrong view of myself and the body and the spirit of who I am,

26:04

then I'm slowly bashing God because I'm made in his image.

26:08

There's a different feel in the moment because it almost sounds like a part

26:11

of self-love that isn't healthy, but there's a part of having having the right

26:14

version of love so that I can know and understand who he is more and more because

26:19

I am made in his image. The whole moment seemed to last for a long time.

26:22

It was one of pure bliss and contentment in resting in God and just over and

26:27

over throughout those moments there with him, I was just resting in his presence.

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So you have the evening that happened, then you have the morning of the meditation,

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and then I'm typing here, wow, I think I got all of it. That was a lot to remember.

26:40

There's so much packed in that short 20 minutes.

26:43

It's like I can see him, but it's just different versions of God the Father.

26:46

He's revealing himself to me in different ways.

26:49

God the Father loves me. He likes me. He cares about me. He cannot be polar opposite of Jesus.

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He has to be congruent with who he is in character and love.

26:57

I know that he is here and loves me. I just haven't viewed him as a loving father, but the one that is here to punish

27:02

and hurt me, the one that is not here to love and support, but to judge and punish.

27:06

I'm not sure why this is always the case or why I believe this.

27:09

And so inside of all this, I'm realizing God is trying to work on me through

27:14

the people that are in my life, knowing and showing that when I submit to him,

27:17

there's a different version of God that I'm unlocking that I've never seen or understood.

27:21

This is one of the hardest things, reconciliation with the Father.

27:25

I've been able to be connected and see and understand Jesus in the sense of

27:29

seeing and interacting with him in his love and inside meditation,

27:32

but God the Father has been elusive. I've only been seeing parts of him, slowly having different pieces revealed.

27:38

Then Then he's being revealed inversely to me through my relationship with my daughter.

27:43

This is a new part that I'm understanding and trying to see how this applies

27:46

and works on a day-to-day basis. But the simple fact that I'm in the image, I'm the image that she will associate

27:52

with God the Father the most as her father figure.

27:55

There's a weight that I don't know how to shoulder. There's not a way to shoulder

27:58

it because it's so heavy. There is a striving of how I'm going to show up every day for her so that she

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sees that I'm working on it and working on becoming who who I'm called to be.

28:07

I know that is a part of my life and a direction of who I'm called to be.

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God, please help me show her, please help me show her you through me.

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I have to do this for my family and my daughter. So, well, let me wrap up the stack here.

28:20

Then I step into the dear God section where I'm just communicating to him and

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I communicate, dear God, you're in pursuit of me. You're in a battle for me.

28:29

You're my protector. You're my guide. You're my love. You're the one that reveals the path before me.

28:34

You are on a mission to redeem me. You're the one that loves me.

28:37

You're the one that likes me. You are the one. I see it and I understand my limited mindsets that I know you're coming for

28:42

me. You're fighting for me. You're destroying the things around me that I'm holding on to.

28:46

You're breaking now the things around me so that I do not have any other option

28:50

but to look to you for all. You're destroying all the things around me, like my messed up image of who you

28:55

are and the things that do not match up to who you are.

28:59

We're talking through just everything that continues to move and show.

29:04

And so we step into this place where I ask this question, where I'm asking these

29:09

thoughts, because he's made me in his image.

29:11

I'm his, he is mine. I know who I am. And the more I see my sonship in him,

29:15

the more I step into my divine calling of who I am. I don't know what that means.

29:19

There's been a piece that I've seen inside of stacking, inside of communication,

29:22

where I'll say stuff of who I'm called to be.

29:25

And then there's a piece of me that kind of sits back and I'm like,

29:28

I don't really know what that means. Like, I don't really know what it means to be this person who's called.

29:33

Who am I called to be? What does that version of me look like? I don't know exactly.

29:37

So I said this, I don't know what that means. God responds in the moment as we're going through the stack and well,

29:43

actually I say this first. I say it so much, who I am called to be.

29:48

What does that mean? Who am I called to be? Who have you destined me to be?

29:52

How do I unlock the calling that you want for me?

29:54

Then we step in a dialogue. God responds, you don't know? no.

29:58

I said, well, I feel like I don't. I guess I'm looking for a particular thing

30:02

or something that's definable of this, of what I'm called to be.

30:05

Do you feel like you need more than your sole purpose? I guess not.

30:09

Maybe I thought it was going to be more specific. And God responds, I'm not going to say what career you're called to do,

30:15

if that's what you're asking. I'm calling you to a way of being,

30:18

a way of operating, a way of liberating others.

30:20

And I said, okay. Then he asked me, he's like, so what is your sole purpose?

30:25

I said, my sole purpose is I'm am a relentless assassin releasing the fractured.

30:29

I stand for inspiring and developing others to rise.

30:32

What more do you need? Well, I thought I would see calling more.

30:37

No, you thought you could also see the path. You always doubt and want to see.

30:42

I have already shown you. Live as you are called. This means in any role, in any business,

30:48

in any location, you show up how you are called, which is what?

30:52

A relentless assassin releasing the fractured. What does that mean?

30:56

It means that I can release anyone through the power of channeling what you

31:00

want me to do in the moment. It means I'm not locked into any version and any mold of my life.

31:05

It means that I'm called to live this way, period. Then stop looking for more clarity. You have more clarity than the majority of people.

31:12

Rise up, stand in your purpose and calling, which is the most pointed,

31:16

clear, and flexible all at the same time.

31:18

You have a calling that is out of the mold, that is also savage.

31:21

Stand Stand in the confidence and in the power of my might, because I've called you to be this way.

31:25

You already know that you are the guy. I have called you to stand in this gap

31:29

that others are not able to stand. This means you have to learn to be savage about everything you do.

31:34

Simply because I didn't call you to lead just a few, you will rise more than

31:39

your brain can even fathom. But not of this question of if you are the right person or if you are the guy

31:44

is a part of what you struggle with. You are called and you are living your calling right now.

31:48

So when you question, step into rest with me. Know that you are living your

31:52

calling right now. Who are you? I'm a son of God. I'm favored. I'm called.

31:58

I'm a relentless assassin releasing the fractured. I'm out of a mold. I'm living my calling.

32:04

Then go and do with vigor and power.

32:07

Okay, thank you. I'm living my calling now.

32:11

That's why there's a difference in my tone.

32:14

That's why there's a difference in my voice. voice. If you go back and you listen

32:18

to my content a year ago, two years ago, three years ago, my voice is different.

32:24

I sound different. I communicate different.

32:27

Even the tone, the level of my voice, my voice is lower now than what it was two years ago.

32:33

It's wild. I listened to a VSL the other day that we have up for Clarity Challenge

32:37

that we're re-recording this coming week. And I realized, whoa, I sound completely different.

32:42

It's just who I was then, but I'm different. different, transformed from who I was to who I am now.

32:48

And I'm living my calling now.

32:52

This means I step into a place where I live and I work with the people that

32:55

I need to serve right here in this moment. Does that mean I'm going to be doing

32:58

this for the rest of my life? Not necessarily. It just means this is what I'm doing in this moment, and that's it.

33:03

God's called me to do what I do right now. So I work with women who are trapped

33:07

in narcissistic relationships and want to be freed.

33:10

I help them go from trapped to freedom.

33:13

If you're interested in this, you can go to rawmotivationscoaching.com.

33:16

I also work with men that have identified either as narcissists or were having

33:19

narcissistic traits or just shown up as a liar. And as a result,

33:23

they're imploding their life. And I do this with men that are narcissists or narcissistic or liars.

33:28

Inside of this, you can go to rawmotivations.com.

33:31

You can click on the one-on-ones and there's a button there.

33:34

If you're a man, click here and you can fill that out and we can talk.

33:37

But that's what I'm called to do right here, right now. I don't know if that's

33:40

where I'm going to be called in a year from now, two years from now,

33:43

but this is where God has called me to be right here, right right now.

33:47

This is what I do right here, right now, to learn something different.

33:51

If this has spoken to you at all, please let me know. Let me know on social media.

33:55

Let me know, shoot me an email, ben at rawmotivations.com, because I want to

33:59

be able to understand that this is being put out there for you to let go,

34:05

for you to release different pieces of you to stand in your confidence,

34:09

in your certainty, and you might be struggling with that.

34:13

You might not know who you're actually called to be. You might not know your

34:17

plan or destiny that God has actually put you on.

34:19

So if you don't know this, it might be a good time to figure it out.

34:23

I'm still figuring it out, but I'm intentionally looking and seeking and working

34:27

on figuring it out on a day-to-day basis.

34:30

Hope you will too. This is Real and Raw with Ben Taylor. Hope you all have a blessed day.