www.homoliciousliving.comHello Pod listeners!  Welcome to Episode #19.  In this episode we will talk about first dates.  Meeting someone new can be very exciting, so we want to help you get the most out of your time together and getting to know each other. Delicious Dish:Today's Delicious Dish is about all natural ways to improve your memory.1. Move every day!Every time you perform a mental or a physical task, the massive neural network in your brain is stimulated. Science tells us that physical activity improves cognition and memory by stimulating the growth of neurons and their synapses to continue to function well.Find ways to move your body. You're best off if you find activities that often vary in their movements and function, but of course, it’s most important that you enjoy yourself so you go back for more.2. Play and LaughTry to spend some extra time focusing on your friendships, having fun, feeling good, and making play part of your daily routine. We know that children learn better in playful atmospheres versus stressful ones, and the same applies to you.I’m sure you've also heard the sentiment “Laughter is the best medicine." There is something to be said for that, and in addition, the more joy you experience, the more dopamine and oxytocin you'll likely have flying around your brain and body instead of adrenaline and cortisol.3. MeditateTry to start some sort of meditation practice, beginning with a few minutes a day and working your way up to 20 minutes a day or more.  Science shows that meditation can have lasting positive effects on brain function. 4. Get Restorative SleepHave you ever been sleep-deprived and found yourself feeling irritable and forgetful?  Sleep helps your neurons and synapses function better.Most people need seven or more hours of good sleep. How do you know you're getting enough sleep? You feel rested when you wake up in the morning, not after you’ve had your first cup of coffee. Try to avoid stimulants at night and use your bedroom only for sleep and sex. You may also benefit from doing a meditation before bed.5. Eat NatureOur ancestors ate what was naturally available: fruits, vegetables, and wild game. You want to eat foods that occur in the natural environment that fuel your brain and keep it from getting inflamed, as inflammation and oxidative stress cause damage to the neurons.  Diets high in bad fat and simple sugars are harmful to the brain, inducing an inflammatory cycle, poor insulin regulation, and oxidative stress. Stick with healthy fats full of omega 3 fatty acids (as found in olive oil and nuts like almonds) or medium-chain triglycerides (as found in coconut oil). Eat foods that are high in phytonutrients and antioxidant properties found in colorful fruits and vegetables, especially dark leafy greens. Keep your starches to a minimum, going low on the grains and focusing on root vegetables like yams and sweet potatoes.6. Last but not least LOVE!Bringing more love into your life to get your oxytocin levels up doesn't mean you have to go find a romantic partner. More so, it means bringing your body and mind into the physiology of love by spending more time in nature, engaging in altruistic activities in which you help someone in need, spend time with friends, engage in a creative activity that brings out your passion, and do more things that bring out the love in you for you. This can include buying yourself flowers, luxuriating in a relaxing bath, or deciding to love yourself and only put nurturing foods in your body."It's the journey that brings us happiness not the destination so keep on stepping!"First DatesYou met someone and you want to go out on a date with them.  We will talk about ways to have a great date and get to know them enough to see if you’d like to have a second date.Date IdeasDrinks at the Bar, in the evening, or at a Coffee Shop, in the morning or afternoon:Someplace relatively quiet so that you can talk and get to know each other, and have a comfortable and romantic atmosphere.It’s typically a cheaper route, so if the date goes bad, you haven’t spent too much money.Plan for it to be about 1 hour, that’s time to have conversation and determine if you want to extend the date, or quite after 60 boring or painful minutes.Bowling or Arcade Game Place:It’s casual, most people know how to do it, and you have plenty of time to talk.Activities are a great way to see how people handle themselves; are they competitive, cocky, helpful, patient.If you’re physically attracted to them, you have the opportunity to check them out from all anglesYou can also have a chance for physical contact, helping each other with gamesBrunch, Lunch or Dinner:Don’t pick too fancy or too casual of a placeMake sure the restaurant has a pleasant and inviting environmentIf it’s a unique cuisine or type of food, check with your date before you reserve the restaurant; make sure they don’t have any food allergies or hate spicy food, etcTheme Park / Carnival:Fairs, festivals and amusement parks can be a fun variety of activities to do with your dateBe sure to organize the date well; don’t eat and then go on the roller coaster and make your date nauseousGo for a Walk or Casual Hike:Take a walk in a scenic park or a garden parkGives you time to talk in an intimate settingMaybe bring a refreshment, coffee, tea, hot cocoaCooking Class or Art Class, or another interest you both discussed before setting the date:It’s a fun activity, but it does require you to commit to a set amount of timeYou have an opportunity to touch each other and help each otherYou are doing an activity, can be creative together, or maybe even taste each other’s dishesBallroom or Club Dancing:It’s a fun and physical activityGreat opportunity for contact with your dateCan be a flirty and sense filled situationSkydiving / Bungee Jumping or any other adrenaline filled activity:Extreme activity, but check in before you make the reservation, you don’t to scare your date or turn them off before you can even turn them onSometimes fear-inducing activities can bond you and your dateIt’s definitely not a boring date ideaMovies or shows are a great date idea, but it’s better to save them for later dates, because you can’t talk during the shows.  Make your first date easy for you to talk and get to know each other.The GreetingYou’re heading to your date, and as you approach your meeting spot and see your date, you need to decide how you will greet them.The handshake:Save this for meeting strangers or people you don’t know that well, not your dateThis is a date, not a business lunch, so make your greeting a little warmer ad invitingThe hug:This is a friendly and relaxed way to greet your dateIt easily breaks down the physical barriersJust think that you potentially would want to kiss this person at some point, so a hug is a nice startAvoid non-conventional greetings:Don’t give your date a fist bump or a bro hug, it doesn’t pave the way for romance laterSay hi, but have no physical contact at all:Be warm and sincere in your greeting, but leave them wanting more as far as touching goesBe careful though, they may think you are frigid or stiffJust remember that there is a good chance the first greeting could be a little awkward, for you both, because sometimes first dates can be awkward, but that’s okay.  Pay attention to their body language and don’t do anything that will make you or your date awkward, just laugh it off and move forward; we’ve all been there and it’s not as big of a deal as we all think.  Nothing is going to be a deal breaker.What to Talk AboutRemember that first dates are about figuring out if you two make a good match and if you’ll continue to pursue a romantic relationshipAsk your date about the qualities they look for in a romantic relationship, and talk about yoursTalk about interests and hobbies; this will give insight to your date and give you ideas for the next date, if it goes that wayDiscuss future plans and personal goalsTalk about your family and ask about theirs; learn about where they come fromShare a surprising fact about yourself that someone might not guess; a hidden talent or something randomTalk about your career or career interestFavorite things, like movies, cuisine, music, pets, books etc.Pet peeves, but don’t complain the whole timeCurrent event in the news is a great way to learn about their interestsPlaces you’ve traveled to or would like to goHave a laugh over bad past dates, or talk about the things you dislike about datingPersonal habits or daily routinesYou want to learn about them and share about yourself, but try to keep the topics light hearted.Discussion Topics to AvoidSo you want to get to know each other, but there are some things you don’t want to bring up on a first date. Religion or Spirituality: no reason to be ashamed of your beliefs but this is a deep and highly personal topic, so maybe save it for a few dates down the roadPolitics:  it’s another hot topic that people can feel very passionately about.Money and Finances: this isn’t a meeting with your financial advisor, so leave all those details out of your date.Sex:  keep your sexual history a mystery until you know each other more. No need to share how many people you have and haven’t slept with, your favorite pickup lines or techniques for sex.Exes:   DO NOT BRING THEM UP. You want to get to know the person you’re on the date with, so don’t talk about another person. It will suck all the fun out of the conversation and definitely do not compare them to an ex.Marriage or Children: these are important topics for later dates, definitely not the first one.      Remember, it’s called “sharing not scaring.”  Don’t stop the romance in its tracks before it even gets a chance to start.Body LanguageWe can learn a lot about a person, not just by what they say, or what their body language says.  Here are some things to pay attention to and what they mean.The eyebrow lift: It typically means they are interested in you. It’s a response we do so we can allow our eyes to take in as much information for what is in front of us.Eye contact:  If you maintain good eye contact, it shows you’re interested in learning and sharingArms opened, not crossed: Means they’re interested and if their body is a mirror of yours, they are open to youLicking the lips: We lick our lips when we see something we desire.Rocks back and forth: It’s a comfortable feeling and an intentional movement, but don’t read into this one too much, it’s very subtleFix your date’s hair: if you push hair out of their eyes, this will let them know you want to touch them and get close, not just have sex. You will also see how receptive they are to contact.Combing your own hair: It’s a way to look our best for a potential mate. If you lean forward, while you cup your hair and smile, you want to look good for your date.Face touching: We touch our own face when we want to touch our date’s face, but we don’t feel like we can yet.Talking with your hands: This can be an indication they like you, and it can help you access more emotional information in your brain.Hand outstretched: This lets someone know you want to touch them, even if it’s briefly.The GoodbyeYour date is done, and now you’re going your separate ways.  Here are some different ways to say goodbye, which helps communicate how you felt about the date.No physical contact: Say goodbye and wave, only if you had a horrible time and you may never want to see this person again.Handshake:  No romantic feelings, but you may want to keep them as a friend.Hug:   Wonderful and safe way to end a date. It’s nice but noncommittal. Don’t overthink it, just be yourself. Make it warm and inviting, but don’t smother, or linger too long.Kiss on forehead: It can be a sign of deep respect and affection. It could also mean they care about your, but only see you as a friend. Or they just didn’t have the guts to kiss you on the lips yet.Kiss on the lips: You definitely enjoyed yourself, and have clear signs they did too.       Start slow, and read their reactions, it could lead to a more passionate kiss, or something more.What’s next?There are two choices after your first date, you either go on a second date, or you don’t.  Be direct and honest about what you feel like the next step should be, and be open to hearing their thoughts too.Setting up the second dateYou had a great time, felt a connection, they peaked your interest and you would love to see them for another date.Decide when to contact them after the first date.Be clear that you want to see this person again, and be sure they feel the same by asking and checking in.Ask for their suggestions or take the initiative and come up with the next date idea.Set up clear communication so you are both on the same page as to when the next date will happen.Keep it light-hearted, you’re still getting to know each other, date #2 isn’t moving in together and planning your marriage.Let’s just be friendsMaybe you had a good time, but there was no romantic connection.  There might not be a second date in the future, but you might want to stay friends.Let the other person know how you feel, so that they don’t leave the date feeling like there was a romantic connection, if there isn’t.Only say “I’ll call you” only if you mean it. No one wants to be lead on or toyed with, so just be sincere if you would like to develop a friendship.Good bye and good luckThere was absolutely no romantic connection, and you don’t even feel like this is a person you want to spend any more time with or get to know.  Again, just be honest and polite, say goodnight and be very clear   that you had no chemistry or friendship connection.We share some of our funny dating storiesThings that make you go Hmmm? Or Mmmm…:This week’s Mmmm….   How to be great at flirting1. Radiate StrengthNaked selfies aren’t sexy. Neither is telling your life story on a first date. Real sexiness stems from the ability to tickle the imagination and create intrigue. Less exhibitionism, fewer words, and more confidence fuel desire.2. SmileSmile big and often — it lights up your face and says that you’re approachable and warm. It is the green light that gives others confidence to approach you and start conversation.3. Be playfully combativeWhen we’re attracted to someone, we often veer toward being overly agreeable. Talk about throwing cold water on a spark! Being challenging, feisty, and a bit unpredictable (while still being nice) is very sexy. My partner and I often playfully spar with words. Intelligent banter makes for a very flirtatious (and fun) relationship.4. Create an air of mysteryDon’t give them everything up front.5. LaughWe’re all a little too serious. Take a ribbing. Give a ribbing. Laugh until your sides ache. Dating and romance are supposed to be fun, after all.6. Tap into your feminine or masculine energyEach person’s formula is unique, but spend time figuring out the clothing, style, and rituals that bring about the most authentic and empowered you.7. Ask questions  Conversation with a stranger can be daunting. My advice? Show interest in your beloved’s work, hobbies, family, and interests. Sit back and relax while they open up. You will glean key insights. And I guarantee they will remember you as an amazing conversationalist while they have performed the bulk of the work.8. Say a person's name — oftenPay attention when someone introduces themselves. Repeat their name back immediately. Sprinkle it throughout conversation. Be amazed at the result.9. Show warmthGently touching someone’s hand or back is a wonderful way to show interest. Be respectful of another person’s space. It’s not about draping yourself all over them (or being clingy), which is a big turn-off. It’s about small signals of interest, respectfully scattered here and there.10. Be originalSuccessful flirting is about being 100 percent you. Don’t be afraid to stand out from the crowd. Accept that what makes you unique also makes you memorable. That is the most powerful vibrational frequency you can live in — and one that will surely attract an ideal partner.Well that’s it for today's show and we hope you join us next week.Thank you:We would like to give a shout out!  A huge thank you to:Mind Body Green article by Dr. Eva Selhub, 6 Natural Ways to Improve your Memory Skills: A Doctor ExplainsMind Body Green article by Monica Parikh, How to be Great at Flirting (Whether You’re Single or Not)Ask Men article by Ethan Fixell, Top 10:  First Date Ideas, 10 Awesome First Date Ideas for Every Kind of PersonThe Date Report article by Chiara Atik, How Do You Greet a First Date?  It’s a Little Awkward, right? Madame Noire article by Ashley Page, At a Loss for Words?  Good Topics to Talk About on a First DateDating Advice article by C. Price, 6 Topics to Avoid on a First DateToday article by Josey Miller, Figuring out the first date:  1 body language cues, decodedcom article by Kaytie Sproul, Body Language on First DateQuote of the week:We will leave you with a quote:“It is a risk to love.  What if it doesn't work out?  Ah but what if it does..."  By Peter McWilliamsWe would love to hear from you, so check us out on Facebook or at www.homoliciousliving.com. Subscribe, rate and review us, and share your topic ideas.Have a HOMOlicious day!