www.homoliciousliving.com Hello Podlisteners!  Welcome to Episode #23. In this episode Cortney willshare her story, her upbringing, impactful moments, changes andstruggles, proud moments and the future.DeliciousDish:Today's Delicious Dish is abouthow to “Fight the Right Way.”You’ve met someone, entered intoa relationship and love everything about that person.  Therewill be a time when you don’t completely see eye to eye, whetherit’s about money, religion, politics, or whose turn it is to do thedishes, and then you’ll have your first argument.  Havingdifferent points of view doesn’t mean you’re not with the rightperson, and remember that the secret to a great relationship is indiversity.  Conflict between two people who love each othercan contribute to the grown and transformation of each person, andfor your relationship.  View these instances as an opportunityto get to know each other on a deeper level, which could lead to aexperiencing a deeper love for one another.Let’s explore healthy ways toexpress your point of view.Agree on groundrules. Discuss with each other how you want to fightfairly with each other. Commit to being nonviolent with each,through your actions and words.       Remember thisis a person you should love and respect, and you should love andrespect yourself enough not to behave badly. Keep your comments andactions constructive, or else the argument will cause more problemsinstead of solving them.Separate the behaviorfrom the person. You don’t have to like everything yourpartner thinks, does, or says, but remember that is a behavior,it’s not a complete definition of who they are.Let go. Ifyou’re stubborn in your beliefs, it can close you off to otherpoints of view. They can isolate and separate you from the one youlove. Relax and open your mind so that you can make room foranother point of view, and it doesn’t mean you have to change yourview but at least be open to othersInquire. Askyourself, “Do I want to be right in my relationship, or di I wantto be happy?”Understand that twoperspectives or “truths” are present in your relationship and thatboth are equally relevant. Remember that hearing anotherperson’s perspectives can challenge you to expandyourself.Take care ofyourself.  It’s not your partner’s life purpose tomake you happy, that’s your job. Do your inner work, meditate,spend quality “me time” to really get to know yourself, so that youcan show up as your best self for those around you.Forgive. Thisis a very powerful act, because when you forgive someone, itreleases you from fear and anger, which is better foreveryone.Give in.Understand that the person you love is an imperfect human, justlike you, so just love them unconditionally, simply for who theyare, right now, standing in front of you.Make up. Thebest part of having a fight is making up.  Don’t waste thischance to heal, love and connect so you can reestablishintimacy."It's the journey that brings ushappiness not the destination so keep on stepping!"Cortney’sStoryWho amI?Let me start by saying I am a“wildflower.”  I need to feel free, safe &independent.I am a self-help & healthfitness junkie.I am a magnet to inspiring,positive people.I crave a challenge and boredeasily.I am loyal, trustworthy,dependable, outgoing, & focusedI hold very high standards formyself and others.I live a simple, intense andauthentic life.  I love coffee, dark chocolate,red wine, the sunshine, rainbows, & sunflowersPeople say I am intense, a gogetter, full of piss & vinegar & independent.I believe the most importantthing in this world is to love and be loved, putting yourselffirst, self-care, self-love & setting boundaries.Starting to write “my story” Iremembered what a hypnotherapist told me when I came to see himhoping to unblock a memory in my subconscious in hopes it wouldhelp me move forward in my healing.  He said, “please keep inmind just because you want to bring this up and heal does not meanthat others involved want the same.”So telling my story tonight Iwill not be as “emotionally naked” or detailed as I am ready to beto respect others feelings that are in mystory.  What was my upbringinglike?Mom and DadSisterYoungest childLots of love, little discipline,or expectationsMost impactfulmoments:A house being broken into whileI was babysittingMy parentsseparatingBreaking both wristsBeing cheated on with my bestfriendIn the hospital withpancreatitisMy divorceHaving to share custody with myex husbandMy depressionMeeting my firstgirlfriendSeeing a counselorMy trip to Palm SpringsaloneMy relationship with someonewith kids “Being small to make someone else fill big”Meditation retreatDating someone with anaddictionChanging my dietMeeting my life partner, Cathy:-)Emailing my family that I couldno longer help them help themselvesHurricane scare inMexicoPreparing my daughter to leavehome and go to collegeThings that have changed my life andmade it better:My grateful journalUsing exercise as myProzac“Exercise is the most underusedantidepressant”Meditation retreatHypnotherapyHaving my daughterMaking the chose not to drinkaloneChanging my dietThings I am most proudof:Making it through mydepressionBeing a motherMy success with myprofessionMy willpowerSupport & unconditional lovefrom my familySelf-loveConsistency and dedication to myself-careMy relationship with my lifepartnerMy constant struggles and reminderthat I am human:Self-loveVulnerability “being emotionallynaked”ForgivenessFear of being disappointed &being too muchEstablishingboundariesThe need to be accepted bymenObsessive thoughtsEmotional eatingWhat my future lookslike:Discovering my life without aparenting planExpanding my doTERRAbusinessAdded new modalities to mymassage practiceBuying a homeTravelingMarrying and moving in with myCathyI recommend everyone writes ortells their “own story.”   It has taught me how much I’vegrown, conquered and accomplished.  I am ready to let go ofthe past story and move forward with excitement and open heart tocreate my “next story!”I want to thank Kathy Carroll mycounselor, life coach, and mentorBrene Brown for your inspiringwords, talks and books on vulnerabilityMy family for supporting me &loving me unconditionallyMy beautiful life partner Cathyalways giving me a safe place & for loving me just the way Iam!Things that make you goHmmm? Or Mmmm…:This week’s Mmmm?  ….  How to have the best sex in yourrelationship.Whether you are in a newrelationship, or have been together for years, successful couplesthat are both sexually satisfied do these things.They’re “raw andreal.” It doesn’t mean you need to be raunchy, unless youlike that sort of thing. It just means to be open about what youwant, be specific about what turns you on and off.They respondpositively to constructive criticism. Createspace in your relationship so that you can both have conversationsthat might be a little uncomfortable. This will show intimacy andvulnerability and deepen your connection. Talk about what’sworking, or not working so that you’re both on the same page andcan improve your sex life. Just remember that the comments are toimprove your sex life, together, so listen openly and don’t getdefensive because that’s not going to get you anywhere.They don’tmanipulate. Couples with great sex lives don’tplay games or manipulate each other, in any part of theirrelationship. Be clear and share your expectations, but leave roomfor new possibilities so that you can explore and discovertogether, not just script out every intimate interaction. Also asktheir partner what they want out of an evening or datenight.They never stopasking questions. Couples that enjoy a strongsexual relationship are comfortable asking questions. We all can’talways have the right answers, so ask questions tolearn.  Our egos can keep us from having conversationsthat can lead to positive changes. Don’t be afraid to check in withyour partner and ask them if what you’re doing is working for them,and see if they have any suggestions.They explore newthings, continually course correcting for deeperintimacy. This is the single most importantcomponent of a great love life. Communicate and be open to tryingnew positions, sharing fantasies, and bring imagination into yoursex life. When you’re open to exploration, you will open the doorto infinite possibilities, so you can avoid a boring sexlife.Well that’s it fortoday's show and we hope you join us next week.Thankyou:Mind Body Green article by JuliePiatt, “Fight the Right Way:  How to Argue for DeeperIntimacy”Mind Body Green article by Dr.Jeff Kane, “The Best Sex ever Comes Down to Just One Thing.”Quote of theweek:Let me leave you with a 2quotes:“If you own your story you get towrite the ending.” ~ Brene Brown“I am not what has happened tome.  I am what I choose to become.” ~ Carol JungWe would love to hear from you,so check us out on Facebook or at www.homoliciousliving.com.Subscribe, rate and review us, and share your topicideas.Have a HOMOliciousday!