This week’s Podcast can be found here. As always earphones if you’re at work. http://www.archive.org/download/Fmce16/Fmce16_64kb.mp3

See I told you guys BURNABY, British Columbia - A western Canadian school board's ban of the sale of so-called junk food has created a lucrative black market for several entrepreneurial students. The board in Burnaby, British Columbia, east of Vancouver, ruled out school sales of chocolate bars and other sugary treat at the beginning of the school year this month, but three high school students told the Canadian Broadcasting Corp. they've been making about $200 a week peddling "contraband" from their lockers. A Moscrop Secondary School student, who identified himself only by his Internet name Weeman, told the broadcaster he and his friends already have business cards and advertise their inventory on the Internet Facebook social networking site. Chairwoman Kathy Corrigan of the Burnaby Board of Education told the CBC a crackdown isn't in the works. "We are not going to come down hard on these students," she said. "I have to admire their entrepreneurial spirit."Source Bizzarre News

Three disabled men, a blind man, an amputee, and a man in a wheelchair, are flying back with the USA team from the Paralympic games in the Middle East when their plane crashes in the Sahara Desert. The three disabled men, the only survivors, are now stranded and wait for someone to rescue them, but no one shows. They start to get real thirsty, so they decide to seek out water. The amputee leads the way, with the blind man pushing the man in the wheelchair;. Eventually they find an oasis. The amputee leader goes into the water first, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he has a NEW LEG! He gets excited and en-courages his friends to do the same. The blind man offers to push the guy in the wheelchair, but he is refused. The man in the chair is skeptical and insists the blind man goes ahead first. So he goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he can SEE! Now the man in the wheelchair is getting really excited and starts pushing with all his might. He goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, and wheels out the other side. Lo and behold ... NEW TIRES!Source Laffday

The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an Eagle to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed.Source Laffaday

"Yesterday, the federal government announced a massive plan to bail out a number of banks. One expert said it cost Americans $1 trillion dollars. To give you an idea of how much that is, 10 Bill Gateses and 35 Oprahs still don't add up to a trillion dollars." -Jimmy Kimmel

In this life you should try everything once except for incest and folk dancing. – Unknown

Sit on my facebook - Stephen Fry(note I must use this work with this somehow....)

Oh please let me keep reading I'm dying to know how it all turns out - Oscar Wilde (reading the crucifixion of Jesus)

Why is alcoholism a dieses and not labeled as a genetic defect? I’ve never heard of someone catching alcoholism but I know that it runs in families isn’t that genetic.

Rhinokey, BumbleLion, Croc, Moosel, ButterBear Why do I remember then names of some of the Wuzzels? And what is this stopping me from learning now?

Studies show in the last 30 years men have tripled the amount of timethey spend with their kids and have doubled their amount of house work.Ladies what have you been up too?
FMC random movie scene

Guy1: Wait was that feeding time or beating time?
Guy2: I thought that you weren't suppose to beat kids anymore?
Guy1: makes sense but at 10 at night you’re not hungry right?
Guy2: Well sure but waking the guy up to beat him seems a bit shock and aw doesn't it?

Sniff, sniff what the hell is that? Sniff that smells nasty. Sniff, sniff where the hellis that coming from? Sniff, sniff not there. Sniff not there, sniff, ahh here it is, SNNNIIFFFF yup that’s it! Man that’s disgusting. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME! - This was an actual scene from my kitchen last week.

Dungeons and dragons and I have a lot in common for examplefor me it was an hour but for them it was about 37 seconds. - FMC

FMC T-Shirt Idea’s
D&D players do it while role playingD&D players do it with critical success.
D&D players do it only if they pass a charisma check
There anit no party like a D&D party cause a D&D party don't quit*. *Unless it fails 3 saving throws

This weekend I achieved something I've never done before I managed to put my foot in my mouth AND dig my own grave, this is a move slightly more difficult then shooting yourself in the foot and (something else)
- FMC

I could tell you but then i would have to kill you. This line seems way over used and should be changed to something far more imposing.I could tell you but then I'd have to set you on fire and rape your dog. - FMC

Like shooting fish in barrel not so easy, now you need to wait 3 days for the gun, the fish would be the easy part. why not just knock over the barrel? - FMC

PersonallyOfferingRealNudity - FMCFor Archives visithttp://fullmetalchickeneggs.blogspot.com/For those of you using iTunes, or any other podcast software you can subscribe to the podcast http://feeds.feedburner.com/FullMetalChickenEggs.