Many of you have or will go through a divorce. How did that affect your life? How did it affect your confidence? So I was once told; you should only get divorced when the pain of being together is greater than the pain of divorce. There will be pain either way. I know a lot of my listeners have had to deal with this. Many of the people I coach have also. Some of them have deal with abusive spouses. Some have been gaslighted, treated with verbal and physical abuse, others have been in toxic relationships. Each of them got to the point the pain of being together was greater than the pain of getting divorced. Every one of you that has been through, or have at some point been thinking about divorce has some reasons for it right? How does thinking about divorce leave you feeling? Do you feel like you are a failure or broken? Maybe you feel triumphant or released of a burden. What about feeling some guilt? There are many things you can feel and all of them are correct. But it is important to process each of those emotions. If you don’t move past those it is likely to become an issue for you again.

Many of you may be looking to survive the divorce. You just want past the feelings of anger, hurt, confusion, depression, and pain, right? At some point, you had positive feelings for this other person you even said you loved them, right? So, there will be a loss that you will go through. Maybe the divorce was last month maybe it was 10 years ago. It is still possible that you look back fondly on the marriage or maybe feel regret. There were both good and bad times in the marriage, right? It is normal to remember both of those at different times. It is best to take adequate time and be honest, reflect on your feelings, process those emotions. This can be done by talking with someone that can help you walk through what you are experiencing. Walking through this with you can make a huge difference in your life and prepare you for a much better life and relationship going forward. Maybe you have developed new structures. Hopefully, you have looked over the feelings and done the soul searching to find out what is important to you. I talked with a friend and we were looking over the list that they had created on what the ideal relationship would look like. What was important to them. That is making a huge difference in their lives and helping them through the divorce.

So, how do you make it through all these emotions? First, know that there are 6 emotional stages that you will most likely go through.

1. Denial
2. Shock
3. Roller-coaster
4. Bargaining
5. Letting go
6. Acceptance

Some people move from one relationship to the next and find themselves in a similar situation each time. The players change but the rules stay the same. This is because they didn’t do the self-work so that they could move to a healthier relationship.

In case you are not sure there is life after divorce. You can have more than you dreamed of and have the life you wanted. All of this is possible. You can make these changes by asking these questions of yourself, to figure out what you want. Knowing and loving yourself is key to any happy healthy relationship. You must first have a quality relationship with yourself. I can help you with tools and tricks to learn about and develop a greater love for yourself.

Please subscribe to this podcast and leave a rating and review, to help others find this podcast. Also, join the Facebook group. Here is the spot to click and set up a time so we can discuss how you can use these tools and others to get your amazing life!

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