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1:11

All. Right? Let's do this. How are

1:13

you? What the fuckers? What the fuck

1:15

buddies? What the fuck next? What's going

1:17

on? It's Mark Mare and this is

1:19

my podcast. Welcome to It. I know

1:21

that the sound is a little bouncy.

1:23

I know that the room I mean

1:25

as a bit of bounds to it,

1:27

but this is where it has to

1:29

be done. I'm not home, I'm away.

1:31

I'm in New Mexico. I've. Been

1:33

here for several days. Probably the longest

1:36

trip by taken back home in in

1:38

a bit. How. Are you doing what's

1:40

going on with you? Everything Alright. Today.

1:44

I'm going to talk to Kneel Brennan. Now

1:47

work Neil Brennan's been on in the past.

1:49

Okay, there was this one episode we did

1:51

a while back that he insisted that we

1:53

do not air it. We. Had a

1:55

fight about that. It was. It was something about how

1:57

I. Interacted. With him and.

2:00

No way I understand it.

2:02

I. Understood it and time. I don't think he

2:05

was wrong. It's weird

2:07

what you do understand in time and

2:09

in retrospect, you know you behave a

2:11

certain way and he you don't think

2:13

there's anything necessarily. That bad

2:15

about it or you you kind of

2:18

dig in and say like nice died

2:20

that's not true or whatever and then

2:22

you know after he of five years

2:24

to forty years to maybe fifty years

2:26

go by rights you know Maybe I

2:29

maybe I was kind of an asshole,

2:31

maybe I did the I did behave

2:33

badly ma'am or what can I do

2:35

about it now? not much. own it

2:37

accepted, make amends where possible. But.

2:40

We worked through all that and we

2:42

did it actually on a live episode

2:44

of Wtf? Thin know his way back

2:46

was like. Episode Two

2:48

Eighty Seven. And.

2:50

Then he came back when he did

2:53

his special three mike's He finally decide

2:55

to come back and do another. Soul.

2:58

Wtf Talk! And that was on episode

3:00

Nine Seventeen. That one. we work. He.

3:02

Was okay with it this one.

3:04

This this particular episode today is

3:07

is will different day a it's

3:09

more like this is one those

3:11

episodes or says to comics two

3:13

friends just hanging out talking about

3:15

life. Talking about our

3:17

problems, Talking about his new Netflix

3:20

special which is cause Crazy good

3:22

Neil Brennan Crazy Good which he

3:24

talks about life in his problems

3:27

and there's a sort of interface

3:29

in interaction or as a symbiotic.

3:32

Saying. I don't know if it's necessarily

3:34

always pro active, but we sort of grown

3:36

to have. To add

3:39

know how we engage in it's

3:41

is pretty deep. As. There's

3:43

a lot of similarities, so this is a pretty. It's

3:46

a good the it's a good conversation. Is

3:49

a thoughtful fucker. Thoughtful. fucker

3:51

that neil sorry my tears making noise

3:53

this week i'm in montclair new jersey

3:55

on thursday may second at the well

3:57

months center glenside pennsylvania near philly on

4:00

Friday, May 3rd at the Keswick Theatre

4:02

and Washington, DC on Saturday, May 4th at

4:05

the Warner Theatre. Then I'm

4:07

in Munhall, Pennsylvania outside Pittsburgh on

4:09

May 9th at the Carnegie Library

4:11

Music Hall. That haunted place. Cleveland,

4:14

Ohio on May 10th at the Playhouse

4:16

Square, Detroit, Michigan on May 11th at

4:18

the Royal Oak Music Theatre.

4:21

You can go to wtfpod.com/tour

4:23

for all my dates and

4:25

links and those

4:27

links will take you right to tickets. Yeah.

4:31

And you can come. You never know when this is going to

4:33

be the last one. Obviously I haven't

4:35

made any specific announcement but

4:37

because of the shooting of this

4:40

TV show I'll be doing for Apple with

4:42

Owen Wilson, I'm going to

4:44

move some dates and there's a

4:46

possibility I'll be moving them until after the

4:48

election and that

4:50

possibility because some of those dates

4:52

are in the South. I've

4:55

had to tell my manager, my

4:57

booking agent, to, well look, we'll see

5:00

what happens in November

5:02

and if it's still

5:04

safe, if the divided

5:06

nature of our country hasn't gone to

5:09

such an extreme where

5:11

there might be, you know, entry

5:13

checks at certain states, I

5:16

will see how that unfolds. Everybody will see how

5:18

it unfolds and it's sort of a pressing

5:20

thing. I mean I've

5:22

kind of detached in a way. I

5:25

mean I read the news but I'm

5:27

just trying to maintain some stability around

5:29

what I can and can't

5:32

do things about. It's just an

5:34

awkward time politically. It's just everyone's sort of

5:37

waiting for the right guy to die and that's

5:41

a bipartisan thought. I don't know if

5:43

I've said it before but that's the

5:45

other thing that's happening with the age

5:48

thing. You get to this age and

5:50

again I'm not old but I am on

5:52

the other side of a lot of things and you're sort of like,

5:54

well you know I made it through a lot. I'll

5:57

guess I'll soldier through this for as long as I can. and

6:00

see what happens. Hopefully it doesn't

6:03

happen at the hands of an

6:06

ideologically driven lunatic or force of

6:08

some kind. And maybe I'm being

6:10

paranoid, but maybe I'm not. So

6:15

being here in Albuquerque with the old man

6:17

and spending time with him,

6:20

it's just weird. There's weird moments

6:22

because, you know, I got to be honest

6:24

with you, and I've talked about this before, that I think a

6:29

lot of my ability to see life

6:31

comedically and certainly through the lens that

6:33

I see it through is because of

6:36

the way I connected with my father. He was

6:40

erratic, sometimes angry,

6:42

sometimes distant, sometimes absent

6:45

entirely, needy in

6:48

a way, and

6:51

intrusive. We're the good

6:53

qualities. But he, you know, he

6:55

was engaged with life. I mean, there's

6:58

an excitement to mania that

7:00

makes you excited when

7:02

you're a kid. If it's not directed at

7:05

you in an angry way, but if it's

7:07

sort of like, hey, let's go build a

7:09

thing. We're going to let's go

7:12

whatever he got obsessed with, whether

7:14

it was dogs, cars, skiing, hats,

7:16

who knows? The

7:18

intensity of focus and excitement

7:21

when someone is manic and they're your

7:23

dad, you know, it gives

7:25

you, you know, it makes you feel alive, and that

7:27

was sort of how I was wired. And then when

7:29

they're sad and needy and completely draining

7:31

emotionally, then, you know, that's how I was wired

7:33

as well. And then, you know, my mother was

7:35

just off trying to, you

7:38

know, not eat. But

7:42

now as time goes on, you know, with

7:44

him fading out, I find that,

7:46

you know, he still knows me. He's got, you

7:48

know, certain memories that are odd and certain

7:50

memories, you know, large memories are just gone,

7:52

but certain other ones like, you

7:55

know, people's faces, people's names, You

7:57

know, what he did with somebody, where he was,

7:59

you know, born. In a of this it's a

8:01

it's very. Peculiar. What stays

8:03

and what doesn't But we were actually had that

8:05

moment. You. Know why mean

8:07

I make jokes. I guess that was the point

8:09

I was trying to make. You can still. He.

8:12

Still registers everything and and you know I

8:14

was at his house with his wife and his

8:16

wife said we just have come to the

8:18

doctor and he's up perfectly healthy and I said

8:20

oh my god how long is this gonna

8:22

go on for. And. Or

8:25

got a good laugh that's pretty dark joke

8:27

and my dad the. Go. Good laugh

8:29

out of that and I guess that's a

8:31

that's my audience. Gotta. Dig

8:33

deep. But. There have been

8:35

pretty touching and and brutal moments. we were

8:37

driving down here in the. North.

8:40

West Valley and I'm. Literally

8:43

driving by where you know I

8:46

grew up, where the house was.

8:48

And I said did you remember being down here?

8:51

Remember living down here And my father says I

8:53

never lived down here. And. I

8:55

go. Yeah, we did. We lived right over there he

8:57

goes. No, he didn't I said yes. Yes,

8:59

We we did we we we live down

9:02

here for years. I was I was most

9:04

we brought up down here. Is.

9:06

Like a know. And

9:08

then we drove around the bend in which was near

9:10

my house and in back in the day. There.

9:13

Used to be a herd of the buffalo. That.

9:15

Was or was it was in the on

9:17

a field not far from where I grew

9:19

up on. By of the A series. And

9:22

everyone knew about it. was down the S curve

9:24

on Rio Grande. There's just Buffalo there. And.

9:26

That was unusual. Now. Lot of

9:28

people at Pet Buffalo, but there was fogged up Five

9:31

or six buffalo big ones right at the end of

9:33

my street. And when we

9:35

drove around that bend, I said, you remember the buffalo

9:37

He goes. Yup, I'm like

9:39

alright I guess Animal Stick:

9:42

He suggests you know animals

9:44

Buffalo. Hard to forget

9:47

a buffalo. That. Stays in your

9:49

mind my entire childhood and the life we

9:51

lived in the house down the street. Gotten.

9:55

A raced wiped away as think

9:57

it to miami decisions I make

9:59

and. You are bases and how for

10:01

me, very few of them are no

10:03

brainers. I agonize over pretty much every

10:05

decision. This is true, but when you're

10:07

running a business, the no brainer decisions

10:09

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of the home. Page and enter

11:01

code W T S. R.

11:04

Eight. So. Here's

11:06

what happened my came out here

11:08

because as I said it feels

11:10

like I am slowly in the

11:12

process of returning home and I

11:14

hope that alive But but if

11:16

it feels like that's kind of

11:18

yelling in my mind as a

11:20

future decision. Just because.

11:23

My. Thoughts about being her

11:25

shifted. In. There was a time I was coming

11:27

here and I was thinking what the fuck am I gonna do here

11:29

and I thought were once you just do what you do. Everywhere.

11:32

Else everyone's got their patterns. You've got the

11:34

small little circles of life that you run

11:37

around in. Occasionally you get out

11:39

of them. I guess that's called a vacation

11:41

or something you have to do for a

11:43

family member or friend that you're annoyed by

11:46

but bows you out of your patterns. And.

11:48

Wives or are relatively small. Sometimes when

11:51

you really think about. In. What

11:53

you do on a day to day basis And

11:55

now my thinking sifting in on Sarah started to

11:57

think like. what wouldn't i

11:59

do here Am

12:01

I aren't I getting to that point where

12:03

I can just hang out walk around you

12:06

know go walk along the ditches and You

12:10

know go up to the mountains go

12:12

up to Santa Fe hang out look

12:14

at art think about things talk to

12:16

friends Can I just do that? Where

12:19

I grew up where I'm wired where

12:21

my heart and spiritual sense of self

12:23

whatever that may be and psychology is

12:26

sort of Integrated into this landscape.

12:28

It's very weird driving around these streets because like

12:30

I always drove around these streets and it's very

12:33

familiar it feels it's beginning

12:35

to really feel comforting and grounded

12:40

So I guess here I am just selling

12:42

myself and telling you there will

12:44

come a time where I will return here dead

12:47

or alive Am

12:49

I gonna come back here dead? That's a good question.

12:51

What am I gonna do with my body? What

12:53

are they gonna do with it? Decisions decisions

12:55

decisions, so I get here.

12:57

I'm flying out on Southwest

13:02

and who's there waiting Tim

13:04

Heidecker? The the lovely

13:06

and amazing and talented Tim Heidecker is in the

13:08

airport. He's coming out here to shoot something They're

13:11

shooting a lot of stuff here He's doing a

13:13

movie with I guess Marlon Wayans who I like

13:15

who I have a good time with who I

13:17

did a movie with But me and Tim kind

13:19

of flew together got to talking hung

13:22

out a bit and then you know, he's staying down

13:24

the street and That

13:26

was fun. So I knew Tim was in town and

13:29

then I decided to sort of contact this

13:31

small comedy club here called dry He comedy

13:33

club which operates out of the box theater

13:37

and I was like, hey You

13:39

know, maybe I maybe I should come down to a

13:41

set, you know If I'm going to return home,

13:43

it might be nice to have a place to

13:45

work out occasionally So on Friday and Saturday night,

13:47

I wouldn't did sets at this small Club

13:51

that's part of it's it's in the annex of

13:53

the box theater, which is an improv theater good

13:55

audiences You know 40 or 50

13:57

people just working on the stuff staying engaged

14:00

I need to stay engaged. I might need to stay engaged

14:02

in the future, but it was a

14:04

nice nice It's a nicely run little

14:06

operation with a lot of local comics

14:08

saw some of the local cats Some

14:11

good some almost good, but that's the way it

14:13

is was weird being in a room where You

14:17

kind of like you know it's kind of It's

14:19

trench comedy. You're just in it. You know it's

14:21

not like this is a show business town, but

14:24

but it was a nice venue good audience

14:27

nice nice vibe and

14:31

then you know Tim

14:33

wanted to go eat over

14:35

at the Los Poblanos You

14:37

know where I eat all the time and stay you know

14:39

and I was like alright Spent

14:41

some quality time with the Heidecker. He even

14:43

came to the second night of the comedy

14:45

with me. Yeah It's

14:48

great. It's just gonna. I'm just gonna. I'm gonna

14:50

move back home at some at the point where

14:52

it just becomes You know

14:54

show business adjacent And then

14:56

all the people I kind of know or I've interviewed

14:58

will actually be right here in my

15:00

hometown with me Yeah

15:03

That'd be nice right. I don't know So

15:08

look Neil Brennan You

15:11

know I knew Neil when he's

15:13

a kid Way back.

15:15

I started comedy with his brother Kevin

15:18

back in the day I remember when Neil was

15:20

a door guy at the Boston Comedy

15:22

Club And I think the the first time that he

15:24

got mad at me during that interview is because I

15:27

still saw him as that despite all his success, but

15:29

right now He's he's doing

15:31

great comedy And he's he's

15:34

kind of evolved a lot of as a person

15:36

puts a lot of work into himself As

15:39

do I kind of you

15:42

know self-awareness comes more as you start to break

15:44

down But this was

15:46

one of those conversations where clearly Neil and I

15:48

are you know Definitely on a different level of

15:50

communication than we used to be in it. It's

15:52

it's pretty nice. It's intense. It's

15:54

deep It can be exhausting

15:57

for I think probably both of us, but

16:00

But it is, you know, we

16:02

do like each other, which is good. His

16:04

Netflix special, Neil Brennan, Crazy Good, is available

16:06

now. And this is me talking to Neil

16:08

back in the garage. Sometimes

16:12

I wish I paid more attention in

16:14

school or in some cases, any attention

16:16

at all. There are probably a lot

16:18

of things I could have gotten more

16:20

out of, like literature. And now it's

16:22

probably not in the cards to go

16:24

back to school and study the classics.

16:26

But luckily for us, there's a new

16:29

podcast called The Foxed Page that dives

16:31

deep into the best books of all

16:33

time. This is basically like the best

16:35

possible college English class, but more relaxed

16:37

and fun. No pressure of

16:39

grades or needing to prepare something to

16:41

say in class. It's only the books

16:43

you want to read and know about,

16:45

presented by best-selling author Kimberly Ford. Everything

16:48

from Cormac McCarthy to Madame Bovary.

16:50

From classics like Frankenstein to modern

16:52

hits like Lessons in Chemistry. I

16:54

love Ireland, but I miss the

16:56

boat on James Joyce. The Foxed

16:58

Page has a three-part series on

17:00

Dubliners, and that's a pretty great

17:02

starting point. Want to get the

17:05

most out of what you read? The Foxed Page

17:07

is for you. Get it now

17:09

wherever you get your podcasts. Okay,

17:19

so if we're talking about when

17:23

we're done, because I

17:25

have a thing in my head where

17:27

I want to be done. There's

17:29

some part of me that thinks like that's what I'm

17:31

working for, to be done. And

17:34

a lot of people say like, well, you can never do that. And I'm like,

17:36

I don't know. Yeah. I

17:38

don't know if that's true. Yeah. Maybe. But

17:41

look, I've been hammering away at this

17:43

thing. I do a new hour

17:46

and a half of stand-up every year and

17:48

a half without always

17:51

turnover. I haven't stopped working.

17:53

And it's not that there's diminishing returns. I've

17:55

done all right for myself. But

17:59

when you're at the club and... And at this comedy

18:01

club and you know, the old guys

18:03

come there, there's a, there's a cutoff where

18:06

you, yeah, there's a cutoff where it's like, Oh, he doesn't

18:08

got it. He doesn't know what he's,

18:10

he doesn't, he can't do it. I mean,

18:12

okay. Well, I'm not going to be that guy. Yeah.

18:15

They said you don't want to be

18:17

a guy who doesn't, who can't play

18:19

anymore. Well, I'm definitely not that

18:21

guy and I'm not that old, but I would

18:23

like to shift my life to, to have a

18:26

little space. And I know that maybe something I

18:28

should be able to do anywhere, but it's

18:30

not happening. What do you

18:33

mean by a little space? The ability to,

18:35

uh, to get out of the fucking race.

18:38

Cause even though, even though I've determined my

18:40

own life, I am the, uh, author

18:43

of my own fate here, you, there's

18:46

no way not to feel competitive. There's no way not

18:48

to feel like you have to bust your

18:50

ass all the time. You have to keep up

18:52

with something. And that just like becomes

18:54

like, fuck it. It's

18:56

also, uh, it

18:59

gets a little undignified after a while.

19:01

How so? Well, it's just a bit

19:03

like, am I getting into a, I'm

19:05

on driving to get into a food

19:08

fight? Yeah. Just like I'm due, I'm

19:10

still caught in this ecosystem of

19:12

approval. And it's like,

19:15

dude, you got to just at a certain

19:17

point, be like, I, I'm

19:19

good. And instead of

19:21

it being conditioned on your last hour

19:23

or you're pairing yourself to other people.

19:25

Yeah. Yeah. I, I, I guess I'm,

19:28

I'm in that, but for

19:32

the good thing for me is like, I've always been to the

19:34

side of it. Yeah. I've never

19:36

been a star. Right. But close,

19:38

I mean, close enough. You

19:42

know what I mean? Like, you know, close enough. I've

19:45

talked to all of them. Yeah.

19:48

But you're, you're,

19:50

you're, you're, you're

19:52

not, uh, you're

19:54

pretty fucking successful. Sure. But

19:57

there's still part of me that, and you know

19:59

this because. know you somehow

20:01

you of all people yeah choose to

20:03

maintain relationships with hugely successful people which

20:06

yeah that's less and less but good

20:08

one I can't

20:11

do it that's not a whole other podcast yeah

20:13

I it's not that I've been hearing against it

20:15

but I'm just like I'm pretty you know despite

20:18

what anyone thinks I'm I'm a fairly sociable guy

20:20

I'm not a bad guy and when I'm in

20:23

social situations I have a good time and every

20:25

day but I'm not seeking be I'm not going

20:28

I'm not going to cigar circles in

20:30

strip malls I'm not yeah I'm not playing golf I'm

20:33

not doing any of that shit yeah me neither but

20:35

but the sad thing is that means that our big

20:37

social outing is the whole way of the fucking comedy

20:39

store where you can check in get

20:42

the pulse say hi to some

20:44

people be excited be like Bob I was

20:46

talking to Bobby Lee and Dimitri Martin last

20:48

night yeah who'd never met which was funny

20:50

to me yeah and Bobby was

20:52

saying like this is where I get my fellowship yeah

20:54

I was like yeah it is but a

20:57

lot of a lot of the

20:59

people there are mentally ill sure

21:01

we're all mentally yeah I mean like

21:03

that you know I've I've just I've known

21:05

that for years yeah I didn't

21:07

quite notice clearly until I realized that when

21:09

I came up in the 80s there are a lot of

21:11

guys that were just you know didn't

21:13

want to be famous they just wanted to

21:16

stay ahead of the taxman and child support

21:18

payments and keep a low profile huh doing

21:20

comedy and I'm like oh it's full of criminals

21:23

and then I realized like it's full of just mentally ill

21:25

people yeah totally yeah I'm not there's

21:27

nothing to complain about we have no complaints

21:30

I yes we have no complaints I

21:34

we do we we we complain

21:36

a lot but we should

21:38

have no complaint that's the one thing I fucking

21:40

hate is when people say about my comedy it's

21:42

like you're just complaining name me a stand-up that's

21:45

the job the job

21:47

is complaining so it's just a matter of

21:49

can you get people on your side about

21:51

you how charming are you that's what they'll

21:53

call hide it but also maybe you don't

21:55

like my complaining correct you prefer some other

21:57

types of complaining yes fucker Yeah,

22:00

sorry. Yeah. I

22:03

don't know, man. So yeah, we're

22:05

all mentally ill. But so this turn that you're

22:07

taking, I read an interview with you

22:09

somewhere, where it was very sort

22:12

of decisive. Maybe it

22:14

was in one of the trades, where you

22:16

were like, I'm going to disappoint my

22:18

mentally ill fans. Because I

22:20

feel better. And they're just gonna have to take me like

22:22

this. Yeah. Well, I'm also... Well,

22:24

yeah, it wasn't that... Why are you having it

22:27

then? I'm thinking, am I making that up? Well,

22:29

it wasn't as confrontational as you're

22:31

making it. It was more like,

22:33

I did two depression-ish

22:37

specials. Yeah. And then for

22:39

Netflix. And then

22:42

I found myself... It felt

22:44

better through a variety of

22:46

different things. Iowaska DMT, it's

22:49

an MDMA. And I

22:51

wasn't... I didn't want to talk about that

22:53

anymore. That lasting better? This lasting better? Yes.

22:56

Yeah. Sorry. Yeah. Four years? Three

22:58

years? Four years? Oh, yeah.

23:01

So I don't know. So far, so good. Because I'm doing

23:03

that new bit, which is a great bit. And you know

23:05

it's a great bit

23:10

about the babysitter. About

23:12

like when I was a kid. And

23:15

it's turned into really kind of a

23:17

monsterly... A monster kind

23:19

of odd turn of a bit. It's evolved.

23:22

But you came up to me, you're like,

23:24

oh, you're going full trauma, huh? And

23:27

I'm like, what the fuck are

23:29

you supposed to do? No, I don't.

23:31

Because it wasn't... You were

23:33

always kind of toughing it out. Right. Right.

23:35

And I was sort of... The blocks

23:37

and three mics were more, I

23:40

don't... I'm upset. I'm kind of toughing

23:42

it out, but I'm in

23:44

a bit of pain. Yeah. And let's explore

23:47

that. And then I kind of... I

23:50

can't even say that I did a... I did enough

23:52

therapy and I got through it. I did a lot

23:54

of therapy. I did a lot of medication.

23:58

And then I just... Iowaskan DMT

24:01

and that flushed me out.

24:03

Huh. Well, no, I mean, I'm not, the

24:06

joke that I'm working through

24:08

with that bit is that, you know, when

24:10

you identify the trauma, it's

24:12

up to you to decide which one

24:14

had more effect than others. And

24:17

it's surprising. Absolutely. And then it has a good

24:19

turn at the end, but it doesn't matter. I

24:21

just thought you were like, oh, you're Mr. Healthy.

24:24

You're going to talk to me in that tone.

24:26

Like, you know. Ah, full trauma

24:28

marendig. Well, I've marend you. It sounds like I

24:30

marend you. Yeah, you like to do that. Sounds

24:32

like I took the mare around. You

24:34

like to do that. And bounce it in. Oh, yeah.

24:37

It's really hard to get me. It's

24:39

really hard to poke at me if

24:41

you know me well. Well, you do

24:43

seem like hard to get, but then

24:45

it doesn't, and then you forget that it doesn't

24:47

take much. You know, what happens

24:49

is I feel it go in and it

24:52

lands really hard. But over the years, I've

24:54

gotten pretty good at acting like it doesn't.

24:57

Pretend it didn't. Yeah. It's part

24:59

of our job. A great job. It's

25:01

part of our job. Yeah. Well,

25:03

the whole job is acting like

25:05

we don't care if they

25:07

don't laugh at the punch

25:09

line. Oh, my God. It's all

25:12

very casual. Yeah, but that zone

25:14

of living in the not laughing,

25:16

that's tough. Well, yeah, it

25:18

really hurts. My buddy Bajon says it's like you

25:20

get into a car accident every night. Yeah.

25:23

And you just get used to it. Yeah. But

25:26

it's not. It can't be great for you. And

25:28

then George Burns lived to be 100. So

25:30

I don't know. Wasn't really taking risks,

25:33

George. True. But

25:35

you know what I'm saying. Yeah, I tanked on the other. I

25:38

kind of tanked on purpose after... Is it Ian?

25:41

Ian Edwards, yeah. Yeah. Yeah,

25:43

he was killing it. And I was like, I wasn't in the

25:45

right mindset. I was in the OR and I just went up

25:47

and I'm like, you know, and I had that attitude where it

25:50

was just, fuck you, and I'm

25:52

going to dick off. Even though that last

25:54

guy put the work in, I'm going

25:56

to dick off. And I felt that I got

25:58

what I deserved. gave you dick off

26:00

energy? Yeah, a little bit. A little bit. And then

26:03

I left and it was sort of like, why

26:05

did you do that? Yeah. Drive home

26:08

and think about it. Yeah. Well, that's again.

26:10

I'm still thinking about it. Right. But you've

26:12

gotten better at not

26:14

doing that. Oh, yeah. For sure. Yeah. I

26:16

don't like doing it. Sometimes you

26:18

got to do it to find a new shit,

26:21

but that's not the way you work necessarily. That's

26:23

not how I work. No. It's all written. I've

26:25

watched the entire special all 58 minutes

26:27

of it. Thank you. Thank

26:29

you so much. That was very good.

26:31

I enjoyed it. I learned things. What'd

26:33

you learn? Go

26:38

on. Don't throw me a softball. Yeah. Mike,

26:40

am I set? Am I laying down on

26:42

the on the guillotine going? Tell me what

26:44

I thought of it. I had was like,

26:46

here's what I learned. I learned that you

26:48

feel better, that you know a lot of

26:50

famous people and you know how to fuck.

26:53

Oh, that's funny. Well, I mean,

26:55

I'm risking the fucking thing

26:57

is the again, it's the two sex

26:59

compliments I've ever gotten. Yeah. Because I'm

27:01

sure there'll be lots of blogs about

27:03

how I'm bad at it. Oh,

27:06

come on. Who knows from from what you

27:08

thought. I who got it. And the famous

27:10

thing is

27:13

that was more just the I was defending

27:15

all comedians, basically. No, I got what you

27:18

were doing. And I got I liked how

27:20

I don't know if I liked it, but

27:22

you were very diplomatic about Joe, you wrote

27:24

a line. Uh huh. But you

27:26

know, you made sure that it was going to be

27:28

funny. Even though

27:31

you were saying why are

27:33

people turning to the

27:35

clowns for moral guidance? Yeah,

27:37

why? How bankrupt are other

27:39

categories of leadership? Religious,

27:42

pretty corporate. Yeah, entirely. Yeah.

27:44

Government that finally someone

27:46

said, has anyone asked the clowns

27:49

what they think? It's

27:51

the dumbest point of view that

27:53

like, what does transgender

27:56

issues has anyone asked the guy who

27:58

played Rick James? What

28:02

he thinks of Alexander? Well you don't have to

28:04

ask him. He's

28:06

going to guide the cultural dialogue all by

28:08

himself. Well again, I would

28:11

argue that's a failure of the culture itself. Well what

28:13

do you think that is though? I mean it is

28:15

a failure of the culture itself but I mean you

28:18

talked a lot about TikTok influencers

28:20

and these people that I'm way out of the loop

28:23

with. That's the other thing about

28:25

getting older is I'm detaching somehow. Yeah you

28:27

can't care. I really don't. I

28:31

say I care about TikTok. I don't. I'm

28:33

not on there. You do enough to observe it. I

28:35

do it enough to observe it. I have a

28:37

girlfriend now. I realize there's no point being on social media.

28:40

How has that been going on for? A

28:42

year. How's that? It's

28:44

great. We can talk about it. But

28:46

it's been, I realize there's

28:48

no point being on social media if you have a

28:50

girlfriend because it's just all I'm doing. I was just

28:52

waiting for girls to hit on me. Oh

28:55

really? Yeah. I can't do

28:57

that. What I end up doing is I, it's

28:59

become whatever TV was

29:02

when we were younger. I'm a victim of

29:04

not so much a short attention span but I can

29:06

flip through reels on

29:09

Instagram and be pretty entertained. They're

29:11

very entertained. And be on an emotional roller

29:13

coaster. You got the animals, people saving them.

29:16

Then you got a guy from another country

29:18

cooking something. You don't know what it is.

29:20

You can indulge her jealousy with a stand-up

29:22

clip of a guy that you don't

29:24

like killing. I don't have too much of that. I

29:27

don't have as much of that as I used to. I don't think that

29:29

way. No longer

29:31

is jealousy. It really

29:33

kind of goes right back to me and going, I

29:35

got to tighten up some shit. I'm

29:38

not like fuck that guy. Okay. So

29:41

it's more just, it's more. A means to beat myself

29:43

up. Great. Fair enough.

29:45

That's usable. You can use that.

29:48

Hit it. Yeah. I

29:50

don't know. So yeah. So that

29:52

was my point was. Dumb sounded by that. Because

29:54

I don't think it should be our responsibility To

29:58

Guide Society. Quip

30:00

a journalism fault. A. Great

30:02

and you know and also the i

30:04

still can't I can't Really sad And

30:06

the tribal as a sin of the

30:08

business. You know that? Yeah, there is

30:11

this. Ideological.

30:15

Ah, There's a

30:17

group. Of quote, unquote

30:20

comedy fans. Who. Never shut

30:22

up and they don't know anything

30:24

about comedy. And. They're just

30:27

serving as is. sort of like

30:29

this and this tidal wave of

30:31

of. Kind. Of like a

30:33

marginalized thinking around what comedy is

30:35

and what liberals arm, what whoa

30:37

gears and all this other shit

30:40

and sit bothersome. That

30:42

year is just like the their

30:44

their an organized foaling entity that

30:46

supports you know, a handful of

30:49

comics and a way of thinking

30:51

about comedy and they are aggressively

30:53

trying to take over. The

30:55

country. The ah yea

30:57

I wouldn't I wouldn't largely agree with that

31:00

and with the prom with that is like

31:02

the pantheon of comedy has is fragmented and

31:04

show business is fragmented and now it's just

31:06

a fucking free for all And that's why

31:09

certain people with the loudest mouths who proclaimed

31:11

as a bit the of the the right

31:13

way of thinking to take over culture because

31:15

their their ass. I've thought about this and

31:18

the way over here and they had of

31:20

whom we talk about it the. Does.

31:23

It remind you in some ways of

31:25

tennis and Dyson. Eddie Murphy, the. I

31:28

guess but years that is the difference

31:31

was then. Your show business

31:33

was only a few blocks from. N

31:35

N E O everyone was gunning for the

31:38

same price and so young when diced. Embarrassing

31:40

Square Garden which you know he will talk

31:42

about. Any time you talk to him.

31:45

And was and I love the guy I

31:47

really do like dies by. but I mean

31:50

that was a big fucking deal. Move here

31:52

like you know there's people I don't even

31:54

know. play Madison Square Garden. And

31:57

you no one knows except their fans who

31:59

they. Have accumulated until dark so

32:01

state there's no that the is

32:03

not a hierarchy thing with the

32:05

status of it. Is fragmented

32:08

like. I agree with it, but

32:10

I would also agree that you've

32:12

benefited from a ah bifurcated. Market.

32:16

Yeah you. I think you benefited from.

32:19

You're not for everybody. But.

32:21

Every one that was possibly gonna

32:24

like you found you. Now

32:26

that's true. Sure, you know which I think

32:28

that's any different. I'm not in a the

32:30

garden, but. You. Did I don't he

32:32

added are akin and you're gonna you've done

32:35

might other? Yeah I'm not. I'm not that

32:37

that's not my my complaint. My complaint is

32:39

that the worst. You. Know.

32:42

Seem. To amass the most. Ah

32:45

this. I am very specifically

32:47

troubled by the the hackneyed

32:50

and at it and ridiculous

32:52

idea of anti woke him

32:54

and like I make it

32:57

cancels like death is it's

32:59

it's it's test it against

33:01

Isis. Is

33:03

entirely untrue, I know, but it's

33:06

like this branding thing niagara and

33:08

it's crazy. It's. I guess that's

33:10

the edge. And me I'd

33:12

you did jokes in your in

33:14

your special I'm doing jokes now

33:17

that are profoundly fucked up dark

33:19

joke but we're not he of

33:21

advertising right? That's not like. Ah

33:24

there we didn't tag or with s

33:27

the so com and get me. yeah

33:29

yeah there's no is a topsy be

33:31

here any minute. The World Police yes

33:33

are comedy can't read? yeah I don't.

33:36

Ah, I don't put I don't wanna

33:39

play that game in terms of like

33:41

I don't want to be Vincent Man,

33:43

I don't want to be a wrestling

33:45

for us. People. That do.

33:48

You know, Enjoy! I, You know

33:50

I it's. In. a

33:52

have fun i guess here's the the

33:55

big problem is is that there is

33:57

a certain school of of comedy slash

33:59

cultural critic that is

34:02

enabling morons to think

34:04

they're smart. And I think

34:06

that's the biggest problem with culture, is

34:09

that there are people that are fundamentally

34:11

sort of uneducated, not that great at

34:13

critical thinking or even rational thought that

34:16

will believe just about anything if it's

34:18

delivered to them with enough force and

34:21

something they can relate to. And then they just move

34:23

through the world, confidently

34:26

spouting bullshit and working against

34:28

the common cause. Yeah,

34:30

I guess, yes, I agree

34:33

with that. Now,

34:36

who's to blame for it? It's

34:38

a way longer, more complicated discussion. Is it?

34:41

Yeah, because I think it begins like in,

34:44

it's like an Adam Curtis documentary, where it's like,

34:46

you wanna know the root of this? Yeah, I

34:48

think that'd be great. I don't

34:50

think Adam Curtis would waste his time. But,

34:54

well, if Adam Curtis did that film, it

34:56

would be about the power and

34:58

money in... Conservative

35:01

propaganda. Under attack, yeah.

35:04

Yeah, and playing the victim card,

35:06

but also making

35:09

the truth a little slippery and

35:11

putting forth conspiracy

35:13

theories as intelligence. Yeah,

35:16

it's a huckster's world right now. But I think

35:18

that a lot, and if I have

35:20

any empathy about it at all, I

35:23

do think that a lot of comics

35:25

are being played to fit

35:27

in appropriated by the

35:30

sort of right-wing momentum. You

35:34

think otherwise... Well, they're making a

35:36

lot of money. They don't give a shit. But the

35:39

whole anti-woke thing is really just a

35:41

right-wing talking point. It's a wedge issue.

35:43

And now there are people that we know

35:46

who have decided that is their ideology. And

35:48

I see that as being played. Yeah,

35:52

I would agree. And I...

35:55

They're making good money. Yeah, and that's really

35:57

important. And I Hope the... The

36:00

damage isn't. As

36:03

as Outs can be mad. if as you

36:05

and I think it can be sad did

36:07

I got I've I've shifted my angle on

36:09

on fascism from are you know, like identified

36:12

push back to I'd say hey, it's gonna

36:14

happen. What's your plan? Yes yes yes it

36:16

is addicts with climate. Same same thing a

36:18

play. I'd better get ornery. Where? Where's your

36:21

high ground? What's your plan? You know, like

36:23

I know, are you going to leave the

36:25

country like may not? You know you're not

36:27

an oil You going to go and in

36:29

your see comfort in the fact that there's

36:32

probably. Somebody and rusher hungry that has

36:34

your exact job and they're doing okay.

36:36

And yes, and also where they're not

36:38

gonna let. Yeah, there's these of rules

36:40

there's says. I mean that's with a

36:42

good way to deal with the climate

36:45

change thing is going to be every

36:47

Borders can because. We're. Out

36:49

one second half of my believe

36:51

that years it's him. And twenty

36:53

fifty five a minute. I.

36:56

Should be dead. We won't have a lot

36:58

going on here. We all have very full

37:01

schedule as they say that turn out like

37:03

my dad who matter what's going to surmount

37:05

got the as ideal Do What did you

37:07

say that? Did I not know this? You

37:09

have nine siblings. Yeah. I

37:11

thought was like size. Far

37:13

more serious. Yeah. Homeowners

37:15

and because he said and special and like I

37:17

knew i think I know three I thought there

37:19

was only five but it has Morning with i

37:21

came from yeah and you're the last one. Yeah.

37:25

It it's so funny. Like a Sagna

37:27

Jimmy Carr. About. Or is gonna

37:29

get things to say that as Grigor. Or

37:31

but now I was talking about how like you

37:33

were sort of. He as

37:35

opposed to you're not being a victim,

37:37

better about not being someone who's actively

37:39

working on themselves in the way you

37:42

used to that there was a the

37:44

way you talked about trauma on the

37:46

special liking of that. Everyone's got drama

37:48

now and I was sort of like

37:50

for this is kind of a a

37:52

new angle for the guy who read

37:54

such trauma like when I when I

37:56

see me on ah ha that's that's

37:58

Trauma in Skyn Car. Yes, that's

38:00

a that's that guy's 90% trauma. Yeah I'm

38:05

trying to be less that Honestly,

38:08

I mean like I'm trying to be less that

38:10

it's not fun. It's not The

38:13

audience doesn't like it. What down like what

38:15

a guy who reads this trauma. They

38:17

want a party animal So I'm trying

38:19

to just be more I and I

38:22

also don't really feel that way anymore right

38:24

a party animal They want a fun they

38:26

want a life at the party. They

38:28

want to care They want a charisma mission on

38:30

my audience not your audience not my audience, but

38:32

I'm saying like most The

38:35

party is just like is this the dream? I

38:38

wish I had a sonny or personality Yeah,

38:41

we can't do I don't think it's no it's too

38:43

late for us There's nothing we can do but I

38:45

would like to get people who

38:47

thought I was just trauma right

38:49

before and the fun part

38:51

yeah, the fun part is right and and and

38:54

I would like to be more than trauma

38:57

and I do mock the I'm mocking

38:59

the kind of monetization of it I

39:02

think the issue we're talking about with all of this

39:04

stuff is Monetization in

39:07

that yeah, you have that I

39:09

have it on a post it on my dashboard

39:11

It just says monetize because when

39:13

people use that word, you know,

39:15

how do you monetize your trauma?

39:17

How do you monetize your pain?

39:20

How do you monetize your cancer?

39:22

Yeah, and there's everyone's it's competitive

39:24

monetization. It's ideological monetization There's a

39:26

list of podcasts that I really like

39:28

called a conspiratuality, right? Right and it's

39:31

about all of it Yeah, and so

39:33

it's about conspiratuality It's about

39:35

conspiracy theories and and religion and

39:37

and new age philosophy and also

39:40

and and sort of debunking it all And

39:42

then they do six minutes of ads Yeah

39:45

for vitamins or whatever or whatever it's for and

39:48

it's a bit like I don't know guys This

39:50

doesn't seem Again,

39:52

I'm a fan but at

39:54

the same time Do we

39:56

not see that this is all the

39:58

irony? Yeah as an underlying

40:01

hypocrisy or corruption. But not like they're

40:03

selling garbage. I'm just saying like you

40:06

could make a case that selling anything is selling

40:08

garbage. Everybody's part of it.

40:10

Yeah, like hey, we're going to show you

40:12

this grip right

40:14

after this. Yeah, the funny thing is like some guy

40:16

got on me because I did a couple vitamin ads

40:18

for Sogar which is old hippie vitamins I've seen my

40:20

whole life. And they sent me a bunch of vitamins

40:23

and I'll take them. I'll take fucking vitamins every day.

40:25

Some guys are like I can't believe you're selling supplements

40:27

and I'm like I'm taking them. Does

40:29

that make any better? I'm in this

40:32

with you. Yeah, it's like what

40:34

is, I direct commercials sometimes and I

40:36

won't do social media. I

40:38

won't do Facebook. I won't do, I won't ad-vivorize

40:40

anything that's- Or in gambling. I won't do gambling

40:43

on my podcast. Me neither. I

40:45

won't do dubious things and

40:47

I won't do things that I can't sell. I remember

40:49

we had an incident with the man great many years

40:51

ago. I don't know what that is.

40:54

I know you can't sell it. I

40:57

can, it's right unseen. I

41:00

had a hard time with the pube trimmers.

41:02

Sure. Who would believe

41:04

that you

41:07

would ever trim a- It was so funny with

41:09

the man great because Corolla is early on and

41:11

Corolla was a big man great guy. It's just

41:13

this piece you put on a grill to cook

41:15

steak better. And they

41:17

wanted us, they kept pushing, they kept pushing and we were

41:19

like it's not my people. They paid

41:21

for the ads and I did one and they called

41:23

in a panic. We didn't sell any. I'm

41:25

like we told you that. Yeah, I could have told you ahead

41:27

of time. We just cut them loose. We

41:29

didn't penalize them. But

41:32

the belief thing, like I'm back to

41:35

working this joke. I

41:37

don't know if I used it before but that's the

41:39

other thing about doing as much comedy

41:41

as we do is I'm starting to realize and you're in

41:43

the same boat. No kids, small world.

41:48

The woman I'm dating as a kid. Interesting.

41:51

Yeah. That's fucking a new half

41:53

hour. Five minutes so far. Good for you.

41:56

Well, we'll see. Yeah. I

41:58

don't know what I'm... I wasn't expecting anything

42:00

of it. How old was the kid? Three and a

42:03

half. Wow. Yeah.

42:05

So you got her, what, right out of the breakage? Fresh out of

42:07

it, yeah. Fresh out. I'm walking her

42:10

through it. Good luck, buddy.

42:14

Yeah, no, I... How long did you wait to meet the kid?

42:18

About a year. Really? Yeah.

42:21

Well, that's correct. Yeah. So

42:23

we're doing it by the... She's a therapist, so we're

42:25

doing it correctly. Wow. Ideally. Ideally.

42:28

We'll see. It's not really far so good.

42:30

Well, the point I was making, and then we'll get back to

42:33

this, is that I realize over the course of three or four

42:35

specials that the way I think

42:37

remains fairly constant. I

42:39

do grow and I do reevaluate,

42:41

but the dialogue, the conversation I've been

42:43

having throughout my entire career

42:46

of comedy is roughly within a

42:48

wheelhouse. It is of a thing.

42:51

You could take a joke from any one

42:54

of your hours and put it in another

42:56

one. Maybe. It wouldn't

42:58

stick out very much. Yeah, maybe. Maybe

43:00

the level of sophistication. Except the ones about

43:02

marriages and women. Sure, sure, sure. And I

43:04

think I've evolved, but it's sort of interesting

43:06

that you kind of... But everyone does that.

43:08

I don't know anybody that

43:10

doesn't continue the conversation. It

43:12

seems like this... You...

43:15

Somebody, a very famous musician told

43:18

somebody that... He goes, I

43:20

have four songs. Right. That I

43:22

just... I soup them up, I change

43:24

them, but they're the same basically. That's right. If

43:27

someone was talking to Angus Young about ACDC, it's like, it seems like you're... It

43:29

seems like he did the same record like three times and he was

43:31

like three. Yeah, 11. Yes, 12.

43:34

Yes. But it once... And

43:36

you just have to kind of maybe

43:38

stay ahead of it? Yeah, the

43:41

only shift is like, unless I just all of

43:43

a sudden became conservative or something crazy. Yes,

43:45

yes. But it's also people knowing what they're

43:47

getting kind of. The belief thing though, like

43:50

no matter what you know and however anyone talks

43:52

about religion, all of us talk

43:54

about this. And we think... And it's really not

43:56

that big of a deal to take shots at religion

43:58

anymore. little hesitant to

44:01

take shots at his home. I

44:05

still don't know why, but keep it

44:08

up. No, you're going to get

44:10

your head chopped up. Something. It

44:12

is a little scarier. They

44:14

actually mean business. I used to say that you

44:17

can make fun of Christians because they're kind of

44:19

built to take a beating. That's the whole premise

44:21

of it. That's the whole thing, yep. But the

44:23

idea is that I've

44:25

brought back, and I don't know if I

44:27

did it on the special I look, but the

44:30

idea that if you believe in God, you'll

44:32

fucking believe anything. So once you've opened that door,

44:34

you've got to be kind of vigilant about what

44:36

goes in and what goes out. Yeah, I think

44:38

you did do that, Joe. Because I've had

44:40

that experience where because of the ayahuasca, I had

44:43

an experience where I was like, oh, I think I'm in the

44:45

presence of God, right? Or with such a grace. And

44:49

I do find myself, I

44:52

won't dismiss things as quickly.

44:55

I won't embrace them, but I'll be

44:58

like, you're into crystals? I

45:00

don't know. Do you see Scoville's new special? No,

45:03

to watch it. He's

45:08

profoundly underrated. He's very

45:10

funny. Right. But I

45:12

mean, he's got balls. Yeah. I

45:15

mean, I didn't know it. I thought he was a goofball. No.

45:18

I watched his special. I'm like, oh my God. It's just

45:20

that he's so affable. He

45:22

doesn't... And it's sly. He

45:24

doesn't... And he's talking

45:26

about shit. I'm like, Jesus Christ. He's

45:29

like, really doing it. Yeah. What's

45:31

up, man? Yeah, he's very funny.

45:33

He does some good shit about crystals and God and his

45:35

wife and having crystals. My

45:37

wife is a witch. Yeah.

45:40

God bless. I just read Carl

45:43

Jung's autobiography. He was

45:45

a witch. Oh yeah, he had a good racket going. You

45:48

don't buy any of it? No, I

45:50

like the Jungian trip. I don't like

45:52

the dream stuff I don't care for. Those

45:55

guys were... Him and Freud was just like,

45:57

yo, fellas, enough with the dream. But it wasn't he

45:59

the collective unconscious. Yeah, yeah, I mean that's

46:01

pretty big. That's a good idea. That

46:03

kind of taps into this sort of

46:05

the big universal hum, the frequency. Yeah,

46:07

big manifestations like there's a story of

46:09

him and Freud being together. Yeah.

46:12

And Freud being like, I don't know about all this

46:14

fucking hokum and a

46:16

thing in the room immediately

46:18

like shook. Sure. And then Freud was like,

46:20

what the fuck is that? And then Young

46:23

says he knew another one was coming. Yeah. And another one came

46:25

and he was like, I don't know. All

46:27

right. All right, Mr. Wizard. Yeah. Yeah,

46:30

the other thing is like, I don't know.

46:32

I can't get into the serendipity thing. I

46:34

can't do it. Fine. Cause it's a slippery

46:36

slope. Well, Mark,

46:38

there are some slopes are slippery and some

46:40

are just slopes. Yeah.

46:42

But that's all depending on

46:44

your mental

46:47

and emotional grounding. Sure, sure. You can acknowledge

46:49

the slope. But if your brain is of

46:51

a certain thing where it's like you're gonna

46:54

start seeing signs everywhere, you gotta nip it

46:56

in the brain. Yes. And I think another

46:58

big one is will you drive there? Yeah.

47:00

Will you drive to participate in it? No.

47:02

That's a big demarcation

47:04

line. No, I'm kind of okay with

47:07

my, you know, slightly guarded fear

47:12

of opening up too much so I

47:15

don't lose myself forever. Yeah. Opening up

47:17

too much to potential

47:20

energy? Forces?

47:22

Look, dude, I was at the comedy

47:24

store, you know, in cocaine psychosis on

47:26

the porch, pretty sure that, you know,

47:28

what is now the sunset,

47:31

that hotel across the street. Yeah.

47:34

The Hollywood, what is it? What's that place called?

47:37

The Hollywood Tower. Yeah. The Hollywood Tower. Yeah. That

47:39

old building? Yep. It was gutted when I was

47:41

a doorman and I thought there was an altar

47:43

on top and it was, someone's gonna go down.

47:45

Yeah. Yeah. And

47:47

I had it all worked out. Yes. And

47:49

yes. But years to pull myself back. Did

47:52

it really? Yeah. What and

47:54

how'd you do it? Well,

47:56

I got off the blow. I got sober the first time

47:59

and it took me years They're not going to the comedy

48:01

store and be like, oh good. It's still here. I

48:03

don't know It's just you know, you once

48:05

you sort of like violently create

48:07

a neural pathway Through

48:10

lack of sleep and drug use, you

48:12

know, you got it. You got it. You got a

48:14

kind of shore it up Yeah,

48:17

you gotta you gotta get it all concerned. Yeah

48:21

Yeah, no, I you're not wrong. I

48:23

I guess my thing is like I

48:26

had a Bit

48:28

of a thing with that I had like Something

48:32

yeah, right and then what with

48:34

what are the signs thing? No, no, no

48:37

not No, just like I

48:39

did a DMT thing and then I was

48:41

I did DMT. Yeah once yeah

48:44

Yeah, that's all I needed and then I

48:46

had it was it was like the DMT

48:48

experience at 25 minutes and

48:51

I was in the presence of like the central creation

48:53

force and Then you know

48:55

slowly but surely a personality company you'd like

48:57

come back to human consciousness Yeah, but the

48:59

problem was about a week later. I

49:01

had a reactivation So now I'm

49:03

just in life and I'm a

49:05

little bit there as well right and that was

49:07

that was like I Thought

49:10

it was eight months, but it was like a year and a half Fuck

49:13

that off. Yeah. Yeah, fuck myself, but but

49:15

came back better Came

49:17

back as well. You got a new tool To

49:20

kind of you know push that stuff aside to

49:22

go like oh, there's the elf Well,

49:25

yeah, no, it didn't even get that bad. It was

49:27

just like big it was I had a 30 trillion

49:30

foot view Oh, yeah, which is too

49:32

far. Yeah. Yeah too far out. Yeah, you're right

49:34

next to God Yeah, I mean I was actually

49:36

passed it at one point Don't

49:38

worry about it, but but but

49:41

it did give I am

49:43

sunnier as I wanted Yeah,

49:45

I'm less the personification

49:47

of trauma and

49:53

I'm grateful for having had the

49:55

experience, but what tell me about the ayahuasca?

49:58

How many times you do that? And

50:00

fifteen is Jesus Christ. With

50:03

how many times as much time in

50:05

between, I haven't done it in, I

50:07

did it about over two years. So

50:09

fifteen as like bases, seven weekends. Okay

50:12

so wasn't when you get our that. Ah

50:15

met experience the God.

50:18

Force. Such grace and force and.

50:21

Ah, No and depression listed.

50:25

What you mean like I oriented of the

50:27

movie Altered States did you become armor of

50:29

the sets? The I bow asserting silly right

50:31

there was like it became like and he

50:33

became like a teenager. a tantamount a caveman

50:35

by. Didn't get back to the origin of.

50:38

Lies yeah and he was like no

50:40

big deal. Is. That what it

50:42

is out. what he had been pursuing his whole fucking

50:44

career in a second went out there. Was.

50:46

There to beginning of it on his story like

50:49

this. nothing. Yeah. I

50:51

don't I didn't get that, I didn't get. I

50:53

didn't get that conclusion. I got.

50:56

Ah, I just got a

50:58

better. Job

51:00

sort of. Minute to

51:02

minute state and to be in. That

51:06

were to reduce virtually. The idea is

51:08

your like there's there's something. Yeah, I

51:10

believe there's something and and but I

51:12

don't need you to. Not have

51:14

sex certain way. I don't There's no rule

51:16

as around my is you don't have a

51:19

definition. No, I don't have a definite

51:21

right and religions don't seem. they seem like drivers

51:23

for your like you know have a basic tenet

51:25

at like there is a centigrade enforce. That.

51:28

I swear I don't get just and

51:30

nino don't kill me Yeah that's my

51:32

me know something and you know that.

51:35

We're. Fucking it up. I.

51:38

Don't even know if we're fucking it up.

51:40

I don't I get even the term now

51:42

I it's think I experienced said her. But.

51:45

It maybe it's no different than the altar on the

51:48

top of the sunset. Our. Great. Does.

51:50

Look like an altered I will give me that Do.

51:54

stan's gonna be a tough one to get over

51:56

be i'm wearing a and when it was gutted

51:58

ouster like they're building it Yeah, of course. Yeah.

52:00

And now it's just like, they got a pretty

52:02

good restaurant. Yeah, they've made it sort of the

52:05

same. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All

52:08

right, so you're loaded up

52:10

that way. Loaded

52:12

up's a big word, but yeah. Now,

52:14

tell me the downside of veganism.

52:20

I don't think there is one. There isn't? Because

52:22

I mean, I'm well over a year now, vegan. You

52:25

look, hey, I didn't want to say anything. You

52:27

look really skinny. Do I? Thank God. I know.

52:30

I came back from the road and I really, sometimes

52:32

you go vegan on the road and you just

52:35

get these places where. Just go to Chipotle. That's

52:37

my advice. Yeah, I don't mind the vegan places.

52:39

No. But like sometimes there's like vegan places where

52:41

you're like, wow, look at that. And it would

52:43

eat onion rings. It took me four days to

52:46

recover from these onion rings. They were so good.

52:49

They were good, but they were big and

52:51

they were filled with batter and it was

52:53

just fried and just fucked me up. Yeah,

52:55

there's some places where they, some places vegan

52:57

food is like punishment. And

53:00

the decor is punishment. And

53:02

they went all natural with the

53:04

tables and it feels like

53:06

a soup kitchen. No, I like those

53:09

places. I like hippie places. Places that are

53:11

trying to get regular eaters in there by

53:13

making facsimiles or really

53:15

decadent vegan food. It just

53:17

grosses me the fuck out

53:19

sometimes. Like I can't

53:21

eat at crossroads that often. I eat there all

53:23

the time. It's too, too.

53:26

It's like rich. Too mainstream for you? No,

53:28

no, it's just very rich. It's corporate? No, no. Oh,

53:31

too many rich people. No, no, no, the

53:33

sauces and stuff. Oh, like literally the food

53:35

is a little rich. Like I like more

53:37

basic shit. Okay. Yeah.

53:40

You're gonna be good, man. There's a lot of options.

53:42

Bones, it's okay for your bones. So far, do

53:45

you take a supplement, B12? I take all

53:47

kinds of supplements. What do you take? I

53:49

take, I literally just did my pill packs before

53:51

I got here. Yeah, what is it? B,

53:54

D, iron, I

53:59

can't. Yeah, okay, you know the

54:01

ones yeah, but I don't but I didn't for 15

54:03

years. How do you get your omegas? I

54:06

don't know. I don't know that a pumpkin seed oil. Oh Mmm,

54:10

that's all right. Yeah, I've been

54:12

doing walnuts. Okay. Yeah, great.

54:14

I'm gonna show you everything Yeah, you're gonna

54:16

be good get test get your blood check.

54:18

No, I do anymore. All right. Yeah, it's

54:21

all overstated All the downside

54:23

and like you're gonna what about your protein? Don't worry

54:25

about it. I'm not worried about protein I can figure

54:27

that out. Yeah, but I was wondering about like a

54:29

few of the vitamins you can't get In

54:32

a vegan diet. It's hard. I don't know

54:34

if you want to ask the Body

54:37

of trauma if you will be 12 is

54:40

the one mister trauma if you want to

54:42

I mean I yeah, I do drops I

54:44

think yeah Me too. Yeah, I'm good. Look

54:46

at us. We're okay. Yeah, man So

54:50

how do you feel about your new special I

54:52

like it I think he dressed well, oh,

54:55

thank you. Yeah Thank you very much.

54:57

That's how interest. Yeah. No, I gotten

54:59

some blowback on it But Jimmy Carr

55:01

did what wasn't your last one? You

55:04

didn't like that one? It's okay. Just a shirt, right? Yeah,

55:06

with a mic shirt on it. I could see the mic.

55:08

Yeah, Don well the if you when you use a Sound

55:11

person it said I could get into it. They

55:13

didn't it's fine No, they give you the fucking they

55:16

give you the love for the backup and

55:18

then like anytime I wear a love It's

55:20

gonna fuck me. It's gonna fall out of my

55:22

pocket. It's gonna pull on my shirt funny

55:24

I literally can't even talk about what a

55:26

nightmare that was because It's

55:29

the lie if you look at my

55:31

block special the microphones pointing away from

55:33

me No, dude, I know it's pointing

55:35

away from me and also that was

55:37

the only source for laughs Was

55:40

from that microphone what so I can't

55:42

even talk about what a nightmare

55:44

that was Thank

55:46

you for the For the dressing

55:48

compliment. I'll take that from I mean if that's all

55:50

I get from you And what did I I fuck

55:53

I know celebrities I fuck and I said the jokes

55:55

were good I guess I think's good. Thank you, and

55:57

I thought I you know and I there was so

55:59

many I hadn't seen I've watched you work on

56:01

this stuff for a while. Yeah. No, I thought

56:03

it was very strong. I like it I

56:06

am always impressed by the craft. Thank you. And

56:08

the laughs I got some laughs I

56:10

thought about things differently great cross the board

56:13

all good But I'm just dealing with the things that I deal

56:15

with which is like I think I finally,

56:18

you know nailed You know dressing properly on television

56:20

my last special and that's after by the way

56:22

It's like you're saying you wear all the time.

56:24

Yeah, but it was a little nice and I'm

56:26

sure like a leather shirt I

56:29

hired a stylist for the first day. Yeah 350.

56:31

I don't know. Yeah He

56:33

came over well the question that I somebody said like what do

56:35

you want to they send it to him? They're like, what do

56:37

you want to know when I said will

56:40

I get a cultural promotion from this?

56:43

That's kind of all you want to ask you that with

56:46

Somebody asked me what what kind of

56:48

notes are you looking for and I

56:50

was like, I just want to know if

56:52

it's gonna work Do

56:55

you know what I mean? Yeah cultural

56:57

promotion that's interesting So like will I

56:59

get a bump up in relevant size

57:01

and relevance and and regard? Yeah, and

57:03

this is another thing that I'm thinking

57:05

about in terms of like, why am

57:07

I still pursuing this? Dude,

57:10

you're talking to preaching the choir. Like

57:12

I mean, I know and I talk about

57:14

on stage now. I'm like Like

57:17

I know that I'm not I'm relevant to the

57:19

people that care But there is that

57:21

point where like, you know, and I do all right I

57:23

sell well But there

57:25

is that that idea that and and

57:27

you're closer to it than me usually

57:29

that there's this unexplainable bump Yes,

57:32

and and and I don't think

57:34

it can be manufactured. Mm-hmm. It's

57:36

just some people's personalities Interfaith

57:39

at the right time, but they interface. Yeah,

57:41

you know, like and a lot of them

57:43

are good at what they do Yeah if they

57:45

can hold on to their place and

57:48

the guys, you know and some of the guys

57:50

I know they can't hold on to their place

57:52

and I don't know if it's

57:54

because they're relevant in it. But

57:56

if it's just the cultural bump I

57:58

mean, sometimes I just don't think I look right. Well,

58:02

this is another thing where

58:04

I'm going, so you've only known me

58:06

30 years, and I read Traumatize,

58:13

right? So for an

58:15

audience, I think there's some version of that I

58:18

read, Washdown

58:20

or whatever. Whatever. It's

58:22

like some people walk on

58:24

stage and the audience goes,

58:27

are princes here? No,

58:31

when I go on stage, they're like, here we go.

58:33

No, exactly. Yeah, it's Colin Quinn's joke about good looking

58:35

people and bad looking people. When good looking people walk

58:38

into a room, people are like, thank God you're

58:40

here, and when bad people walk in, they go,

58:42

what? Yeah, now what? Are you ruining the party?

58:44

Yeah, what? So I think you and I are

58:46

more in the what category, and

58:49

I'd like to be in the finally, hey,

58:51

everyone quiet down, he's here, and I don't

58:54

know if it's possible. I think I'm letting

58:56

that go. Yeah, and I

58:58

also, it becomes

59:01

easier to let it go when you've taken

59:03

the ride, so to speak, in

59:09

terms of riding your

59:11

popularity. Well, it

59:13

hit me after

59:16

End Times Fun. I

59:18

took real British. That was on the Netflix one? Which

59:20

one was that? Yeah, it was a

59:22

Netflix one. It was with the big sort of pants

59:24

blowing Jesus at the end. Like I hit all the

59:26

notes of all my heroes

59:29

that built me, and I took chances,

59:31

and it was tight as

59:33

fuck. It was the best thing I'd ever done. And

59:36

it came out right as the pandemic began,

59:39

which was good, because I kind of called it. And

59:42

I was like, that's the best I can do. And if

59:44

I don't get that cultural bump from

59:46

that, then I'm just, yeah, this is where I

59:48

am. Ian Edwards said about

59:50

this special that's coming out. He said, if

59:53

this doesn't work, quit. Not

59:57

literally, but you know what I mean. No, but I think about that.

1:00:00

The time you know what do I owe

1:00:02

the world like is like this special after

1:00:04

that my last one the with when from

1:00:06

blue to dark that was again that those

1:00:08

to. The. Last two Best I can

1:00:10

do like again. I all

1:00:12

but now different styles yes so the well

1:00:14

but now I'm cancer it's me by like

1:00:16

ones of of deeper. But.

1:00:21

Yeah. When directed dissenters fun and then he

1:00:23

or she was dead for the next one

1:00:25

who's so they are all kind of under

1:00:27

the umbrella of of her power bus. The

1:00:29

only thing I start to think about as

1:00:31

I meet a guy mega bill cuter and

1:00:33

he. Can. Be cuter because of

1:00:36

who After not have a mathematical

1:00:38

bumped like this in general our

1:00:40

know I know. yeah it's hard

1:00:42

to go. Does that outfit work

1:00:44

like sit on my glass frame,

1:00:46

Is it all back around and

1:00:48

work for them? Laugh Said I'm

1:00:50

getting the is issue at I

1:00:52

talk about crystals, lights how current

1:00:54

should I be and when does

1:00:56

it look like I'm chasing a

1:00:58

sound. Zero. May we Are

1:01:00

you like? not like I actually think about? I'm like

1:01:02

I should do a job here. One of those guys

1:01:04

are like and I turns out I am to. Where.

1:01:07

It's sort of like it did. During

1:01:09

with bleak a dark I'm like you know,

1:01:12

I. Get I get you some physical comedy For

1:01:14

real. And I got it and

1:01:16

I gotta beat it out. Battle is so that that

1:01:18

bit you member that bit that year's a he not

1:01:21

gonna look at a bad and think I can kill

1:01:23

myself yeah and I yeah in that whole the timing

1:01:25

of yeah that i got have figure that out yeah.

1:01:28

You. Go and but you don't want that. The

1:01:30

looks this. Year. Well because there's

1:01:32

some do they do physical comedy or

1:01:34

like his work and he worked at

1:01:37

a yeah right yeah yes but you

1:01:39

get the of the work he it.

1:01:41

It. Works. guy that of really

1:01:43

times has the pause was get the I suppose

1:01:45

you know that you've got an email you guessed

1:01:47

it was the here's the problem know like if

1:01:50

we you and I think about this. Like

1:01:52

I'd add, i don't know what you

1:01:54

do on the roadside you find spell.

1:01:56

I was like. Yeah, aiming to

1:01:58

say it like it's. bad. Well,

1:02:01

I'm just talking for me, myself, because I

1:02:03

do fine too. Well, again, right, but

1:02:07

think about how well you used to do, which was

1:02:10

not that well. But there's no one new me. And

1:02:12

now you do incredibly well. No one new me. And

1:02:14

I'm funnier. You're right. Yes.

1:02:17

And I'm not insulting you in any way. I'm

1:02:19

just saying like... My point

1:02:21

is that clearly for both of us, whatever

1:02:24

we have is not enough. Yes,

1:02:29

for the... So how are we doing better then?

1:02:31

Tell me about your recovery. Right.

1:02:36

Yeah. Well, what do you mean? Well,

1:02:38

if we're still looking... If the external

1:02:40

validation... But at

1:02:42

least now we're

1:02:44

looking to this idea of like, I'm

1:02:47

not going to take this shit anymore.

1:02:50

Like at a certain point, my pride's going to kick

1:02:52

in. And I'm going to be like, hey audience,

1:02:55

I'm as ambivalent about you now as you

1:02:57

are about me. It's right back at you.

1:02:59

And then what do you fill your time

1:03:01

with? But also

1:03:03

Mark, we're doing better than 97% of comedians. The problem

1:03:05

is no one

1:03:08

looks down, everyone looks up. I

1:03:10

know. But I know in this

1:03:12

conversation, for some people, it's

1:03:14

going to be like, oh, poor Neale. I

1:03:16

totally agree. And that's what people... I've

1:03:19

been accused of that before. And I didn't have

1:03:22

any... I just got gratitude three

1:03:24

months ago. And now I

1:03:27

actually think about my life the

1:03:29

way other people have looked, said like,

1:03:31

what do you... Your life's unbelievable.

1:03:33

And I'd be like, no, you don't

1:03:35

get it. And sort of poo-pooing it.

1:03:37

And it's like, now I actually think

1:03:39

my life is unbelievable. As do I.

1:03:41

And my producer has to remind me

1:03:44

about how great we have it. But there is this

1:03:46

thing that you seem to have as well. And

1:03:48

I totally believe that. I am grateful and I

1:03:51

know I'm doing good work. But when

1:03:53

it comes right down to it, after

1:03:56

I did that HBO special, Which

1:03:58

did well for them and critically... One the

1:04:00

best comedy special in a lot of different publications

1:04:02

and stuff he out. when I want to do

1:04:04

new special there's a sort of like oh sure

1:04:06

of course whatever you want me for like will

1:04:08

have a look I'm I would want to do.

1:04:11

Yeah. I'm not a bankable. Commodity.

1:04:13

Now that you want more, that's what I'm

1:04:15

talking about with the promotion where it's rice

1:04:18

you want. And I want. A

1:04:20

frenzy. Or to allergists to

1:04:22

say like we trust this guy Yeah, the

1:04:25

great, specially as one of our guys. but

1:04:27

we're not a queer. We were not algorithm

1:04:29

shifters. Correct. Yeah, I don't think

1:04:31

so. Ah, Yes,

1:04:33

I am And then what do you

1:04:35

do? Yeah, you know what

1:04:38

do you do when you're not? You're you're

1:04:40

good. great, whatever adjective you want to put

1:04:42

on it. Or. As you would call, it's

1:04:44

fine. That

1:04:47

what are you do in that situation

1:04:49

when your cell and out a sensitive

1:04:52

thousand seater since two thousand Cedars once

1:04:54

twice or a boy when we want.

1:04:57

I. Agree and also do any of

1:04:59

the people on the on the

1:05:01

floor above us. Seem.

1:05:04

Completed. Me:

1:05:07

A car went to see you to

1:05:09

and in in Vegas Here with and

1:05:11

lives of for med middle age hear

1:05:13

that the middle aged man sirens and.

1:05:15

Did have any hook up. Yeah. Out

1:05:18

and ah, and we'd talk

1:05:20

to Bano. And we were

1:05:22

having a conversation in the father said if

1:05:24

I were a whole person I wouldn't do

1:05:26

this. And it's like yet

1:05:29

bed so. There's there's a

1:05:31

that's uplifting Assess Assess provides what

1:05:33

I have a better better at.

1:05:35

like what? what is the what

1:05:37

is this thing that we're going

1:05:39

for? The think I think we're

1:05:41

going for is this entered completion

1:05:43

and I think we're never gonna

1:05:46

get it for oil money either.

1:05:48

We've had moments of if wait

1:05:50

are you saying it's an inside

1:05:52

job. Think

1:05:54

that's what I'm getting at. I think

1:05:56

that's what I'm getting at Sams. And

1:05:58

as corny as. attitude is, it's helped me

1:06:01

a lot with a lot of it. It helps me

1:06:03

too. And I do have a lot

1:06:05

of acceptance around what we're talking about. And

1:06:07

oddly, you know, during

1:06:10

the pandemic, well, no one was doing comedy, and

1:06:12

I felt great. Yeah, me too. My

1:06:15

thought was, and I don't know if I told

1:06:17

you this, my first thought was like, maybe I'm

1:06:19

all better. Yeah? Well,

1:06:22

it's easy to be all better when no one's

1:06:24

doing better. That's exactly the rest of it. Yeah,

1:06:26

yeah, yeah. That's the second, the verse

1:06:28

you cut? No, I put that in

1:06:30

there. But I'm saying that, yes, it

1:06:32

is. What do we do

1:06:35

when other people are out drawing

1:06:37

us or they're doing it? But I know who I

1:06:39

am. They added an arena. I know who I am.

1:06:42

I'm opening my sets with that. I'm not an arena

1:06:44

act. You know, I could probably do one

1:06:47

arena and bust people in. And

1:06:52

the other one is, I'm not a casino act. And it's not that I

1:06:54

don't have the skill set. It's just that my

1:06:57

fans, I say, my fans

1:06:59

are not going to be in Vegas on purpose. You

1:07:02

know, it's so, I'm in

1:07:04

these fucking exact thing. And like, if they're there

1:07:06

and they see my poster at the wind, they're

1:07:08

going to be like, that's a lot. You

1:07:10

know what I mean? Like, you didn't come in near us because we're

1:07:13

just starting to get in there. Yeah, I don't want to see him.

1:07:15

Like, we'll go see Adele or something. We're having a good time. Why

1:07:18

would I? Yes. So,

1:07:20

so what do you do? Will be,

1:07:22

what do you think the end will be? Well,

1:07:25

here's what I know about myself. And I think you

1:07:27

should know it too, is that, you know, I'm a

1:07:29

real fucking comic and there's, nobody can

1:07:31

take that away from me. And the work

1:07:33

we do is respected by our peers and we know we're

1:07:36

doing the best we can do. And,

1:07:38

and, and we're also intelligent

1:07:40

comics where people that were talking about

1:07:42

things that aren't necessarily seen as entertaining,

1:07:45

we're doing the job, at least I

1:07:47

am, that I thought I should

1:07:49

be doing. You know, I was

1:07:51

never, you know, just an entertainer. I

1:07:54

was never a feel good kind of

1:07:56

performer, really. And I, I

1:07:58

imagine that's in me. I don't

1:08:00

seem to want to make a shift to

1:08:03

lighten my load because it's just not

1:08:05

my nature. So I

1:08:07

have accepted the fact that no

1:08:09

one is saying about me, that guy got an easy

1:08:11

go. That

1:08:13

guy doesn't deserve this. That guy doesn't deserve that. No

1:08:15

one can say that about me. And

1:08:18

also, someone ... It's where you

1:08:20

and I differ. I

1:08:24

can talk about what I think people think

1:08:26

about me endlessly. But

1:08:29

I don't think it's ... I think it's ... Yeah.

1:08:32

The funny thing is about you, though, is

1:08:34

that you're so meticulous

1:08:36

about your approach.

1:08:40

No one can write jokes like you. Your

1:08:43

presentation is good and you're funny. The

1:08:46

thing is, whatever anybody says

1:08:49

because of any of our struggles, it's just that thing

1:08:51

you're talking about. There's

1:08:54

a part of us that is heavy. I

1:08:57

know. As you were thinking of it,

1:08:59

as you were saying this, I thought, you and

1:09:01

I, the best we can hope

1:09:04

for is a lighter, heavy ... Right.

1:09:06

Exactly. Like, I can do DMT

1:09:08

and seem like ... and talk about fucking and all

1:09:10

that stuff. Yeah. But it

1:09:12

comes down to what's a

1:09:15

more fun version

1:09:18

of our spirits. But

1:09:21

we also do the thing where we want

1:09:23

to make people look at things differently. We're

1:09:25

up there talking about smart shit.

1:09:28

Yeah. And that's really not everyone's

1:09:30

cup of tea. It's most people's ...

1:09:32

I know. Yeah. Exactly.

1:09:35

People don't like tea. Yeah. These are coffee.

1:09:38

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, they want iced tea. They want

1:09:40

sweet tea and they want coke and they want

1:09:42

... Yeah. Ultimately, we just have to ... or

1:09:46

I do ... I have to have

1:09:48

some self-acceptance around it because I don't

1:09:50

... I'm old already. But

1:09:53

the cultural bump, I like that image

1:09:56

because that's across the board

1:09:58

because you always think ... when I

1:10:00

get offered an acting role. And

1:10:02

I have a sparsity mindset because

1:10:04

of comedy. I didn't grow up

1:10:06

poor, but because it took

1:10:08

me so long to find any success in show business,

1:10:10

I think I'm like, oh, I gotta do it. But

1:10:14

now, even if it's a huge show, you're like,

1:10:16

no one's gonna see it. Oh,

1:10:20

it's all being, I remember asking somebody if they would

1:10:22

do a show 20 years ago. I

1:10:25

was like, would you be Bill Gates'

1:10:27

clown? Yeah. If you could

1:10:29

just, Bill Gates pays you $5 million a year

1:10:31

to just be his clown. And

1:10:35

that's not that dissimilar from being

1:10:37

on Apple TV. You

1:10:42

know what I mean? Basically, you're Tim

1:10:44

Cook's clown, and unless you're Ted Lasso

1:10:46

or on Ted Lasso, no one's watching

1:10:48

your show. But I think we gotta

1:10:50

give ourselves a break and

1:10:54

think about that inside job-ness. But

1:10:57

I also, I'm impressed

1:11:00

with, I'm thankful for

1:11:03

the life I've been given. Yeah.

1:11:06

It's unbelievable, I am grateful, I

1:11:08

do think what

1:11:10

I was able to do, going from writing

1:11:14

for somebody, writing with somebody

1:11:16

to having my third Netflix

1:11:18

special. Yeah, you did it. No matter what

1:11:20

anyone says, even thinking about

1:11:23

the naysayers or the haters, what

1:11:26

are you gonna say, man? So

1:11:28

still, you watch this and you, why

1:11:31

is there still a but? If

1:11:33

there's any but, make it like, maybe

1:11:35

I'm not the best performer, but I'm

1:11:37

working at the edge of my ability.

1:11:40

Sure. But also, you gotta get

1:11:42

the worst naysayers are the

1:11:45

ones you make up. Yeah, of course. In

1:11:47

your head. Of course. And they don't even

1:11:49

exist, really. I know when

1:11:51

somebody tweets this fiction. Yeah, well, it's

1:11:53

just, if you have

1:11:55

that part of you that just wants to keep

1:11:57

you in this place. Yes. Because

1:11:59

that's what. you grew up with and that's how

1:12:01

you drove through life, you know,

1:12:03

at some point you got to be like, all right, just

1:12:06

give it a rest. It's also, yeah, it's scanning for threats

1:12:08

and then when we've

1:12:11

eliminated, you and I have eliminated

1:12:13

most threats professionally and

1:12:15

personally and physically and

1:12:18

now we're still looking

1:12:20

for them. Pre-enthusiably.

1:12:23

Yeah, so now we're hallucinating them. We're

1:12:26

hallucinating threats. And we're still approaching

1:12:28

every interaction with a certain guardedness

1:12:31

and hostility. Yeah, like I'm still reacting

1:12:33

to how Comedy Central treated me in

1:12:36

2002. You know what I mean? But

1:12:38

don't you think you're still reacting to

1:12:40

nine fucking siblings? Sure. Sure.

1:12:44

Sure I am. They're all gone, they're old and

1:12:46

they're some of the... I know, but they still,

1:12:48

I'm still not the funniest one in the family

1:12:50

to a lot of, you know, or whatever. I

1:12:53

don't even think I'm reacting to that. The

1:12:55

vigilance, the vigilance that's the core of our

1:12:58

personality. It's the core vigilance of you don't

1:13:00

believe in me, do you? Yeah, or don't

1:13:02

fuck with me. You're going to fuck with

1:13:04

me. Yeah. Yeah. I

1:13:07

think that might be yours. Yours is don't fuck

1:13:09

with me and mine is don't

1:13:12

underestimate me and don't belittle me. But

1:13:14

I can take the fucking now. Like

1:13:16

I have the humility to

1:13:18

be on stage and fail or get

1:13:20

one-upped by an audience member or whatever.

1:13:23

And I can work with that. So I can be in

1:13:25

that space. I can be in that space easier on stage

1:13:28

than in life. And

1:13:31

the weird thing with me is though, if I don't do

1:13:33

a show for a week or two, I don't think I

1:13:35

can do it anymore. Like I'm literally like, do

1:13:37

I even know how to do it? No, it's the only job

1:13:39

in the world like that. I don't think I can be a

1:13:41

doctor. Yeah. And as soon as I

1:13:43

get on stage. I don't think I can do medicine anymore. Yeah. I'm

1:13:46

like, oh, I live here. Yeah. It's

1:13:48

not even... This is actually... I don't think

1:13:50

I can be a person at my house.

1:13:52

Exactly. That's the part that's the part. The

1:13:54

relationship changed you. It's better. A

1:13:56

therapist. She's therapist. It's changed

1:13:59

me. me in that

1:14:01

I'm more... Well,

1:14:05

the DMT and the ayahuasca changed me

1:14:07

to make me more available to be

1:14:09

loving and be caring and be less...

1:14:12

In a heartfelt way. Yeah, not in an

1:14:14

act as if way. No, not in a

1:14:17

I have to do this. Or like

1:14:19

I'm gonna, you know, I know how

1:14:21

to behave. Right. Even if it's contrary.

1:14:23

I can be super boyfriend. I can

1:14:25

perform boyfriend. Yeah. Right. I don't need

1:14:27

to perform boyfriend. I actually want to

1:14:30

see her. I want to talk

1:14:32

to her. I like talking

1:14:34

to her. I like hearing about her.

1:14:36

Okay. I like hearing about her perception.

1:14:39

And again, which didn't just say like, and this

1:14:41

is the first woman I've ever... That's not even

1:14:44

the case. It's just the easiest

1:14:46

and in

1:14:48

my case, it's the most... Yeah.

1:14:50

Acceptance. That I... That she's shown me.

1:14:53

Yeah, that's great. That's been the biggest...

1:14:56

My biggest sort of hang

1:14:59

up was not feeling like what

1:15:01

I was, was okay. Oh, that's a

1:15:04

fucking worship. That leads to like, you

1:15:06

know, constantly feeling like you're being fucked with or condescending.

1:15:09

Yeah. And I'll end up... But I think there was

1:15:11

also a... I think most of

1:15:13

the problems I had in relationships were

1:15:15

the woman thinking I wasn't as into

1:15:17

her as she was into me. Mm-hmm.

1:15:20

And then that's the first domino. And

1:15:23

then everything from the accusation... I

1:15:25

clearly misunderstood your personality. Well, please.

1:15:30

Again, what do you want me

1:15:32

to do? I've always... I'm always

1:15:34

compliment... People only read energy and

1:15:36

it's like, listen to what I'm

1:15:38

saying. I'm complementary. I'm kind. I'll

1:15:40

help you if I need to

1:15:42

help you. It just seems like

1:15:45

I... The joke I've made is like, my

1:15:47

problem is I am nice, but I don't

1:15:50

seem nice. Yeah. And the key to show

1:15:52

businesses seem nice, but don't be nice.

1:15:54

I think that's a good observation. Like, I get

1:15:56

that too, but people who know me know I'm

1:15:58

just a fucking... mushy fuck.

1:16:00

Yeah. And they know that I'm soft.

1:16:03

You'll pick them up at the airport or whatever your... Of

1:16:05

course. Of course. But

1:16:07

the people that really know me, they're like, you

1:16:09

know, like, you're just like this hypersensitive softie, really.

1:16:12

Yeah. But like, you know, some other

1:16:14

thing lives out in the world. Yeah. And

1:16:16

people project onto it. Yeah. Yeah.

1:16:19

But I did Taylor Tomlinson's show and I just

1:16:21

was loose. I had a good time. I was

1:16:23

cute and charming. And I'm like, she's like,

1:16:25

you're having fun? I'm like, yeah, it's great. And I'm like, why? What

1:16:27

do you think would happen? She said, I thought you'd come on here and

1:16:30

shit on the whole thing. And I'm like, why would I

1:16:32

do that? You don't know me. And

1:16:34

then cut to the tape. Cut to the tape. Are

1:16:36

you shitting on things? Throughout half

1:16:38

my life. Yeah. Yeah. I

1:16:41

don't... So I've been lucky. Yeah,

1:16:43

it's great. Like I just think she's great.

1:16:46

That's good. Well, you were ready for it.

1:16:48

Yeah. Well, look, buddy, I think we did

1:16:50

good. Yeah. And

1:16:53

I did... I love this special. I thought it was

1:16:55

great. I mean, I watch you and I'm like, that is good. You know?

1:16:58

I mean, that means a lot to me. And it's also... I

1:17:01

actually believe you. Like 80%. Yeah.

1:17:05

And... You still annoy me a little. How

1:17:08

could I not? I

1:17:10

am a living person. How could

1:17:12

I not annoy... Well, again, you annoy

1:17:14

yourself completely. I'll tell you that. I'll be

1:17:16

honest with you, man. Not about

1:17:19

you, but like, here's the one thing that

1:17:21

really is killing me. You

1:17:24

know, Rock gave me that line. You

1:17:26

know the line. Don't blow for the

1:17:28

crowd. Of course, Rock gave you a joke. Yeah, he gave

1:17:30

me a punch. You know, the second joke. A tag, yeah.

1:17:33

The second tag. Yeah. And

1:17:35

it kills. Yep. And it's so simple. And,

1:17:38

man, I would never have thought of it because I don't have the same cultural... Well,

1:17:42

you know, I'm not a sponge. Yeah.

1:17:44

And it just sticks in my head like, sort of like, what

1:17:46

am I? If that's one fucking

1:17:48

line that big a laugh and it came

1:17:50

from him, it's okay, fine. That's

1:17:52

why he's great. But like, what the fuck

1:17:54

am I doing? You didn't think

1:17:57

of it. Well, not that I didn't think of that, but

1:17:59

like, how do I... broaden my cultural

1:18:01

education to include references. I know, but

1:18:03

it's a reference to Seinfeld. It's not

1:18:06

like... No, I know, but I didn't...

1:18:09

Where did he hear of it? No, no, no, but I didn't... I wouldn't have

1:18:11

made the connection. Oh, that's funny. I gave... I

1:18:13

mean, I've heard the amount of people that have

1:18:15

told me jokes they're responsible for in other people's

1:18:17

acts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I bet. I bet

1:18:20

he really made a huge impact on that person.

1:18:22

Yeah, I know guys who gave me tags that

1:18:24

changed the game, that changed the bit for me,

1:18:26

because I don't use them that much. He gave

1:18:28

me tags, I've tried them, and

1:18:30

he gave me one. Then Rhodes gave me one years

1:18:32

ago, and it really was a fucking nice piece. But

1:18:35

I remember it, because I don't do it that often. I don't

1:18:37

take tags that often. I don't give them that

1:18:39

often. Yeah. You had one that I thought recently.

1:18:41

That you gave me? Yeah, that I was like, I'm pretty sure that'll

1:18:44

work, but I don't know if you did it. Oh, it was about

1:18:46

the... Oh, you're on

1:18:48

the treadmill. Oh, right, right, right. You're

1:18:50

running, so it seems even creepier, because

1:18:52

it looks like you're chasing after them.

1:18:55

Oh, I'm going to try that. Yeah, yeah. All

1:18:57

right, buddy. There you go. Covered a lot. Neil

1:19:06

Brennan, Crazy Good, is streaming now on Netflix.

1:19:08

Hang out for a minute, folks. People,

1:19:13

if you're subscribed to the full Maron, that means

1:19:16

you have access to every single episode of WTF,

1:19:18

which also means you can go back and listen

1:19:20

to me and Neil work through an issue we

1:19:22

had with each other in front of a live

1:19:24

audience at the Vancouver Comedy Festival. I didn't feel

1:19:26

a respect

1:19:29

from you. And I'm

1:19:31

not saying I deserve fucking rose

1:19:34

petals under my feet, which that's where your

1:19:36

head goes. Your head goes, this motherfucker. That's

1:19:39

not... I

1:19:42

just felt like you've had this podcast, you told

1:19:44

me you were going to put me on it

1:19:46

very early, and then you're just having fucking... And I

1:19:48

love the podcast. You just have guest after guest after

1:19:51

guest. Oh, but this is a different issue. No, no,

1:19:53

no. It's the same one, though. Okay,

1:19:55

but there's a whole layer of like, more

1:19:57

insight. Right, okay, but there's a whole layer...

1:20:00

You sit in the going when's my fucking turn?

1:20:02

Yeah, well you know you should know about as

1:20:04

a guy That's trying to get on television try

1:20:06

it see you know No,

1:20:09

just just listen to just

1:20:11

I mean listen to what he saw

1:20:13

he pushes out there This is part

1:20:15

of the issue I've heard you talk

1:20:17

about club owners who wouldn't book you

1:20:19

as quote-unquote evil Cocksuckers, so

1:20:21

I know that that's when you're when you're

1:20:23

being excluded from something You know there's gonna

1:20:25

be a visceral reaction don't want so don't

1:20:27

act like you're magnanimous like well No, they

1:20:30

make their choices and we're all adults here That's

1:20:36

episode 287 and it's available for all

1:20:38

full maren subscribers to sign up go

1:20:41

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1:20:43

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1:20:47

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