0:04

Word. If kids to catch

0:06

me. If

0:09

you don't, Worry

0:13

if you could apply. Travel

0:15

back in time. Welcome you

0:18

to. Act.

0:26

says. Hey

0:33

there folks and welcome back to What? If World

0:35

the show where you were questions and

0:38

ideas inspire off the cuff stories. I

0:40

Mr. Eric your host and Today Ivory

0:42

mastered one of our most epic April

0:45

Fools episodes of all. Time. The

0:47

sound and music are balanced better and

0:49

I took out. A few little cliques

0:51

and blips that I've learned how to

0:53

edit out. I. Hope you enjoy it

0:55

and if you support. As unpatriotic or

0:57

apple. You're getting a bonus Stump Mr.

1:00

Eric episode this week and I hope

1:02

you enjoyed that as well. So

1:04

let's get in to are very

1:06

wacky story which. Starts with a

1:08

question from P. lar hi my

1:10

name scheme are. I

1:14

live in Louisiana I

1:16

can org I like

1:18

basketball and margaret. Already.

1:21

Stated victories were Greek guy.

1:24

Thank. You. Peel.

1:26

Are When I was a kid I had

1:28

a t shirt that said basketball. His life

1:30

now of course I You never got

1:33

very good at basketball but. I

1:35

still really like it. When. I

1:37

got your question mentioning

1:39

Greek gods. It reminded me

1:41

I am for another question from

1:44

Wrigley Now Wrigley emailed in this

1:46

question. And when you

1:48

go to numeric

1:50

worst you are

1:52

oh boy you

1:54

must call on

1:56

ha over out

1:59

me. No, I mustn't. Oh

2:02

yes you must. No,

2:04

no, no, no, no, no, no, I, I, folks

2:07

at home. I'm recording this episode

2:09

on April 1st, so if you

2:12

remember our last April Fool's Day

2:14

story, how Virati insisted on singing

2:16

a question then too. It

2:19

was not I who

2:21

insisted, it was the

2:23

fans who knew that

2:25

you must have me

2:27

sing again.

2:31

The fans? You've been talking to our

2:33

fans? Not talking,

2:35

but listening, you should

2:38

learn how to try,

2:40

and I

2:43

know that they want me

2:45

to sing. Okay

2:52

folks, I just got the new studio set

2:54

up and I guess he's just really testing

2:56

the acoustics here. Um, how Virati can

2:59

we just get your April Fool song over

3:01

with so I can tell the kids a story? What

3:04

if Mr. Eric wounded

3:06

how Virati with his words?

3:10

Is that the question? No. Okay,

3:14

could you please read Wrigley's question?

3:16

You don't even have to sing

3:18

it, just say his question. My

3:21

name is Wrigley,

3:23

and I like

3:25

Greek mythology. My

3:28

what-if question is what if

3:30

Phoenix is turned into tacos

3:32

instead of ashes? Perfect, how

3:34

Virati, it wasn't over the

3:36

top at all. Turning to

3:38

tacos instead of ashes. Oh,

3:40

Phoenix is a taco. Yeah,

3:44

like that how Virati, you don't need to. I like

3:46

Greek mythology, and

3:49

I will sing

3:51

about zoos and

3:53

stuff. You have

3:56

a lovely falsetto, but we really need to get to

3:58

the story. I

4:00

will fly a

4:02

lightning bolt at your

4:05

underwear. Sorry folks,

4:07

it's April Fools in a new studio

4:09

and there's just a lot of crazy

4:12

stuff going on, but let's find out

4:14

what if baby sisters were Greek gods

4:16

and phoenixes turned into tacos instead of

4:18

ashes. My name

4:21

is Wrigley and

4:23

I like Greek mythology.

4:26

My what if question

4:28

is what if phoenixes

4:30

turned into tacos instead

4:33

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Go to shopify.com/lifestyle to take

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your retail business to the

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next level today. Our

5:35

long time listeners might remember episode

5:37

19. What if we

5:40

stopped having birthdays and that story a

5:42

boy named Buster got a baby

5:44

sister named Babs. Now their mom,

5:46

Ms. Biz, cared about Buster and

5:48

Babs a lot, but she and

5:50

Mr. Business were out a lot

5:53

and that left their babysitter, Randall

5:55

Radbot, in charge. there,

6:00

let's see in your new basketball

6:02

jersey. Buster was older now, old

6:04

enough to finally play team sports.

6:07

Um, it's a little big? I don't

6:10

worry little Hume, when your body like

6:12

downloads its next patch or whatever,

6:14

you'll be big enough to fit.

6:16

That's not how humans work Randall.

6:18

Buster came out wearing his basketball

6:20

sneakers, blue shorts that went down

6:23

past the knees, and a blue

6:25

and gold jersey with a big picture

6:27

of a clock on the front, and

6:29

the number 19 on the back. The

6:32

Wentbridge Timers. What

6:34

a silly name for a team. That's

6:36

alright dude, Wentbridge just has a lot

6:38

of clocks and watches and stuff. It's

6:40

basically all Mr. Eric ever told us

6:43

about the school. Oh, I was

6:45

afraid of this. Folks at home on April Fool

6:47

Stories, sometimes if I'm

6:49

not careful what I say, what if

6:51

World will sort of like put words in

6:53

my mouth? I don't know how they do

6:55

it, but just listen carefully and I'm gonna

6:57

make sure there are no more mix-ups. Randall

7:00

and Buster were already at the basketball

7:02

game because Mr. Eric had spent too long

7:04

talking to the folks at home. No,

7:07

it didn't. Randall

7:09

whistle. The basketball was tipped off

7:11

and the game was underway. Buster

7:13

was tall for a human, but

7:15

of course Wentbridge had giants on

7:17

the team, meaning he played point

7:19

guard. Yeah, Buster! cried Randall Radboth

7:22

as he bounced Babs, Buster's toddler

7:24

sister, on his lap. Deposit balls

7:26

into hoops at a higher rate

7:29

than the other team. Deposit balls

7:31

into other hoops. Did I get

7:33

it right? Randall asked Babs.

7:35

Cab basketball. Cab basketball

7:38

indeed. Buster was playing

7:40

really well and having a giant as

7:42

your center didn't hurt either. But.

7:45

They were playing against the Grumblers

7:47

and even though the Observatorium was

7:49

a much smaller school, every Grumbler

7:52

had a secret weapon. Their Magic

7:54

wand! ZZ Whipped out her wand

7:56

and froze a basketball in mid-air.

8:00

I'm a poor could fall to the

8:02

ground sister was they're grabbing the ball

8:04

in mid stride and dribbling it hard

8:06

to knock off all the ice. It's

8:08

a fair this to get his magic.

8:10

He gets giants. Well yeah that

8:13

I I guess as get a fair buster

8:15

threw up the rock and swift oh it

8:17

was still too much ice around the ball,

8:20

he wouldn't get through the hoop. It

8:24

look like a jet of slave lit

8:26

up around the ball and then the

8:28

i see orange ball was right and

8:30

warm as the sun than a little

8:32

gold shower he it appears and helio.

8:35

scary thought. Of the son started

8:37

dragging that ball across the court.

8:39

Necessary know seventy Greek gods but

8:41

just then kill ios a sunday

8:43

us on. Stole the money. Golden

8:45

chariot am a bot. The crowd

8:47

went wild. Whose

8:51

role players canings team has.

8:55

The rest Mister Meltzer blew his

8:57

whistle. Each team. Has six players

8:59

for our lord and Mr.

9:01

Eric. Take wait for it.

9:03

even goes to needs get

9:05

two free throws. Oh that

9:07

makes and Mr. Eric says

9:09

cheeky greek he cheated three

9:11

types best. I've not gonna say I'm

9:14

a cheeky Greek eg. To

9:16

degree did she was. I'm not

9:18

doing it Who? as and will all

9:20

just wait and suddenly all the fans

9:23

turned to look. At me at one

9:25

know they started watching the basketball know

9:27

they're okay everyone's looking at me to

9:29

play the game. I everyone started playing

9:32

the game again. nope they're not. They're

9:34

not playing just too too far with

9:36

Mr. Area said Ralph the Giants and

9:38

patiently city tricky. Cheater Tiki Tiki teetered

9:41

to get it to to to

9:43

smooth. Now you have to start

9:45

over. city duty cheater cheat because

9:47

it's easier to dig a cheater

9:49

lord of the the little son

9:51

turned back into a basketball and

9:53

helio cynthia thorns to the was

9:55

still fighting over there chariot arrive

9:57

at the blades and really weird

9:59

basket ball," cheered Randall Radbot.

10:02

But as he did, the two little

10:04

Greek gods wrestled each other out of

10:06

that chariot, and it fell right on

10:08

top of little Babs. How?

10:10

Hey, watch it up there, mythological

10:13

gods! I'm sorry. My

10:15

son stole my chariot. May I

10:17

have it back, please? Not

10:19

until you learn to play safely

10:22

with it. My chariot? That's right,

10:24

Babs. The toddler had taken the

10:26

little chariot off her head, and as she

10:28

sat inside it, a golden wreath appeared

10:30

on her head, and suddenly she

10:32

was draped in little flowing robes. But

10:35

he shall get it all sticky! Cried

10:38

Helios. You should have thought of that

10:40

before you reenacted your Greek myth and

10:43

our gymnasium. Yes, Randall. You

10:45

can come back for it next

10:47

sunrise, but until then, you

10:49

two deities need to think about what

10:51

you've done. Where? Helios

10:53

and Phaethon disappeared. Meanwhile, the game raged

10:56

on. The timers were trailing by three.

10:58

It looked like the Grumblers might pull

11:00

off an epic upset. Buster had the

11:02

ball. The clock was ticking down. He was

11:04

at the three-point line. He took the shot!

11:07

He made it! Buster and tied up

11:09

the game! There were just two seconds left

11:11

on the clock. It looked like the Grumblers were

11:13

gonna pass the ball to Zizi, and she was

11:15

gonna try a shot from all the way across

11:18

the court. Oh man, I

11:20

love her game, but I, like, hope she

11:22

misses anyway. There must

11:24

be a victor, said Babs.

11:27

Two little white spectral horses were

11:29

dragging her golden chariot closer to

11:31

the court, and she looked on

11:33

as if in a trance. Uh,

11:36

yeah, Babs. That's what Overtime's for. Uh,

11:38

please don't fly away from me.

11:40

There must be a victor, and

11:42

to them goes the glory. Randall

11:44

was pushing through the crowd and extending

11:46

his arms out towards Babs. And

11:49

to Zizi got her hands on the ball, and

11:51

the final two seconds started taking away. The

11:55

basketball was flying all the way across the

11:57

court. One cathuncle appeared in the

11:59

middle of the court. He had a hundred tentacles and

12:01

in every tentacle there was a basketball and at the

12:03

last second he shot 50 basketballs into each hoop from

12:05

half court scoring 300 points ahhhhhhhhhh

12:11

Oh, no, it happened again. The

12:13

winner is Kathunkal. Huh?

12:15

April Fool! Nice going

12:17

Uncle Kathunkal! Ha

12:20

ha ha ha April Foolers

12:23

Kathunkal, I thought we were gonna have a nice normal

12:25

April Fool story this year

12:27

Abnormal is normal on

12:30

April Foolers Yeah,

12:32

you have a point there, but wait Babs was running away.

12:34

Did you see her? I only

12:36

saw myself scoring a

12:38

hundred sick baskets. Okay,

12:40

I know but she's a toddler and something weird

12:42

was going on with her. I

12:44

bet she has been twisted

12:47

into an undiscovered dimension Lost

12:50

for all time. Oh,

12:52

there she is right in front of you. Exactly

12:54

as I said she would be.

12:57

No you didn't you said she'd be in

12:59

some like scary dimension till the end of

13:01

time or something. I think we

13:03

need the instant replay Waaahh Waaahh

13:06

Waaahh Waaahh I

13:08

bet she has been twisted into Right

13:11

in front of me Lost for

13:13

all time Kathunkal you

13:15

doctored the instant replay Prove

13:18

it Ref Mouser, can you

13:20

just clear things up here? Of

13:23

course you see in this story

13:25

I'm a referee but sometimes I'm

13:27

Secretary of State and once I was

13:29

in a band. Okay, you don't need

13:31

to draw that to people's attention right

13:33

now. I just meant Hey

13:35

dudes, you've lost your marbles Mr. Eris.

13:38

I just like to stay at one

13:40

job for a couple of stories. To

13:43

the victor cause the glories.

13:45

Huh? Oh right. Babs

13:47

was still standing in front of

13:49

Kathunkal and she held up a

13:51

golden wreath matching the one upon

13:53

her head. Hey, hey wait

13:56

no fair Buster was running towards

13:58

his sister. I tied up the game. and

14:00

then this guy came and scored 300 points,

14:02

but he's not even on any

14:04

team. That's what made it even

14:07

more impressive. Babs, you're freaking

14:09

me out a little bit. What's going on

14:11

with you? I think she's like

14:13

the Greek goddess Nike or something. It's

14:15

a long story. Can we get the

14:18

instant replay? Excuse me,

14:20

only Mr. Eric can call for the instant

14:22

replay. Go

14:24

go! Swaaaaaaaa!

14:27

The Phoenix flew through the air,

14:29

turning Babs into the Greek goddess

14:32

Nike, before turning itself into a

14:34

taco. The end. Wait,

14:37

I need to un-say that! The story

14:39

is still happening! You heard him,

14:41

folks. Phoenix turned into

14:44

a taco. Story's over.

14:46

So that's it? Complained

14:48

Buster. I lose the

14:50

game and all I get is this

14:52

crummy taco? Ugh, hard shell. And Buster

14:54

brought the taco to his mouth. Don't

14:58

do it. I think that's a Phoenix.

15:00

Don't stop him, I want to

15:03

see what happens. But the hard

15:05

shell of the taco was already

15:07

sprouting. Perfect fiery feathers. Ow,

15:09

hot! Buster dropped the taco and it

15:12

fell flapping towards the ground. Grrrrr!

15:15

Two little cubed tomato bits turned

15:17

into a little red beak. It's

15:20

that big idea. The taco

15:22

Phoenix said, landing on the ground none

15:24

too softly. Great. I lost the game

15:26

and I don't even get a taco.

15:29

I barely got to be in this

15:31

story. And then I got turned into

15:33

a taco. What's your point? Most

15:35

of us lose more often than

15:37

we win. I ain't that a

15:39

fact. I've been trying to just

15:41

tell a nice normal story all

15:44

day. Yes, and while I won

15:46

this basketball game, I

15:48

lose every time I try to

15:50

take over what if weren't. And

15:53

I apparently lose my job every

15:55

couple of weeks. Thanks, Mr.

15:57

Eric. Babs or Nike or

15:59

whatever. You're my little sisters, so give

16:01

me the golden laurel for a. Note

16:06

with dime boy. Who

16:11

exist or it and are

16:13

no rules or laws and

16:15

as cook Dunkel cackled the

16:17

golden laurels on his head

16:20

suddenly lost their luster? Doesn't

16:22

even deserve it Bad Snaky

16:24

turned to her brother. He

16:26

has spoiled his own secretary.

16:29

Trophy is only a take

16:31

a case and give me

16:33

my trophy now. but I

16:35

didn't. Lose. Your

16:38

last. Yeah. Buster you add giants.

16:41

they had magic got uncle had

16:43

a hundred tentacles with basket lies

16:45

and smoke around showing you the

16:47

most. You have been

16:49

defeated by secretaries. Mortars

16:51

as you live in this all

16:53

time Abacus and his grumble are

16:55

so had been waiting in line

16:58

at the middle of the court

17:00

to shake hands and tentacles with

17:02

the other players could gain said

17:04

Cz. Good game said their coach

17:06

Abacus. Putin said lower the rabbit. And

17:09

they seem to be glowing ever so

17:11

slightly, just the way the laurels. Once

17:13

had no spare cried because

17:16

Uncle and buster. A Taco

17:18

Phoenix was still trying to flaps its

17:20

wings. Maybe it's not fair but you're

17:22

gotta get bombed. Triumph It had formed

17:25

talent seat and of little curve slices

17:27

of and. Then it was hot

17:29

and fluttering just enough to start

17:31

getting off the ground. Then it

17:34

started to show with that same

17:36

warm light the gymnasium and cleared

17:38

out and everyone. Started going their

17:40

separate ways to Sionko, slip back

17:42

to whatever dimension. nice skin this

17:45

week, and Randall Red.cooped up faster

17:47

and bad. man. what a weird

17:49

day off. It's like symptoms. I

17:51

had absolutely no idea what was.

17:53

Going on, said Randolph read,

17:55

but starting to rust ever

17:57

so slightly as the joints.

18:01

I mean, it was like

18:03

good weird though, right? I've

18:05

enjoyed being a goddess of

18:07

champions. Well, at least one

18:10

of us had fun. Buster had trouble sleeping

18:12

that night, so he got up early

18:14

the next morning and asked his mom if

18:16

she could take him to the basketball court

18:18

across the street from their apartment building. Of

18:21

course, Buster. I'm sorry I missed your basketball game. I

18:23

know there was an emergency at work. I

18:25

don't think I behaved very well when I

18:27

lost. Well, sometimes it's hard to behave in

18:29

the moment when all those powerful emotions are

18:31

rushing through you. I know, I know, Mom.

18:34

I just, can we just shoot some hoops?

18:36

Of course, my number one son. Randall Radbot, can you

18:38

look after Babs? Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep,

18:41

beep. Sorry, I powered down for

18:43

a minute. Oh, of course

18:45

I'll look after Babs. It

18:47

was still dark when they got to the

18:49

court, but as they took their warm-up

18:51

shots, the sun started to peek through

18:53

the tall buildings behind them. It was

18:56

a cold morning, but the sun glowed

18:58

warm on Buster, warmer than usual. It

19:00

looked like Helios had finally taken his

19:02

chariot back from Nike, and as the

19:04

sun stretched across the- Ah,

19:06

Phoenix Taco attack! No,

19:09

don't take my chariot! Hey,

19:12

Phoenix Taco, I was gonna tell

19:14

a nice, sweet ending. Forget

19:17

that, you made me into a taco! I've

19:20

taken this chariot and the sun. You

19:22

can all play basketball in the dark.

19:26

Where's your precious sun now, Mr.

19:28

Eric? Well, you

19:30

just saw it was stolen by a giant

19:33

Phoenix taco. It's okay, said

19:35

Buster. The street lamps came back

19:37

on. I'm just happy to be playing

19:39

basketball with my mom. Even without

19:42

the rising sun upon him, Buster

19:44

seemed to shine, and if you

19:46

look closely, there was a sparkle

19:48

on his brow, like little golden

19:50

laurel leaves resting on his head.

19:53

The end. Question

19:55

mark? Well,

20:01

Pilar and Wrigley, I hope you liked

20:04

your story. Folks at home,

20:06

if you want some brand new What

20:08

If World content this week, check

20:10

us out at patreon.com/What If

20:12

World for our monthly installment of

20:14

Stump Mr. Eric, it's Cats vs Dragons

20:17

in an epic riddle contest this time.

20:19

And of course you patrons also get

20:21

ad-free episodes, a chance to talk

20:24

directly with Mr. Eric and our producer

20:26

Miss Lynn, and lots of other awesome

20:28

rewards. I'd like to thank Karen

20:30

O'Keefe, my co-creator, my producer Miss Lynn,

20:32

Craig Martinson for her theme song, and

20:35

all you winners out there for learning

20:37

how to lose. Until

20:39

we meet again, keep wondering.