2:00

And this meme-amajama-playing-swan

2:03

song? The

2:05

Swan-Trupe-A-Daw. Let me

2:07

just give you a little taste

2:10

of my singing right now. I

2:12

think I can just introduce my

2:14

character first. Oh, phooey. I'm playing

2:16

Alabama-Hero, the Cyclops gum-slinger. She

2:19

likes chewing gum even more than I do. Oh,

2:22

I'm Alabaster Zero. And

2:24

finally, that's me, Fred-a-dog,

2:26

playing Malador, the shell

2:29

shark. Smell-a-din, like a

2:31

giant crab shark who

2:33

uses smells for all of their

2:35

magical properties. And of course, since

2:37

it's What If World, we've got

2:40

a question for you from Dennis.

2:42

Hello, my name is

2:44

Dennis, and I

2:48

love Godzilla. Ask

2:50

a question, honey. And my

2:52

one question is, what if Godzilla

2:54

is real? OK, that's

2:57

it. Thank you so much,

2:59

Mr. Eric. We love your show. Dennis,

3:01

thank you for your question. I've been wanting to

3:04

answer it for ages. And

3:06

I also want to thank Ryan, Henry, and

3:08

Elliot, who are just a few of the

3:10

many kids who have mentioned Godzilla

3:13

before in their What If questions.

3:15

Retep time. So

3:18

in our last adventure, we teamed

3:20

up with Skull and Bones to

3:23

try to free the prisoners from

3:26

the foundess museum. Sarah bent

3:28

the serpent, Mandy Korr the

3:30

monster, and a whole swarm

3:32

of nom-bats. I looked it

3:34

up, and one of that many nom-bats

3:36

is called a feast of nom-bats. They're

3:39

a make-believe creature, Fred. And I looked it

3:41

up in a make-believe book. Well,

3:43

the statues of the founders

3:45

wanted to capture us alongside

3:48

their prisoners. It was a

3:50

long and grueling challenge, leaving

3:52

me and Mamajama stunned and

3:54

everyone out of hearts. But

3:57

finally the founders realized that

4:00

Capturing us couldn't keep us safe.

4:02

And so they helped us

4:04

escape on Skylin' Bones' moon

4:07

schooner. Which is gonna

4:09

somehow get us to a snowy moon.

4:12

I still am a little foggy on that.

4:14

And all will be revealed as

4:16

we find out what if Godzilla

4:18

was real. Or a

4:20

non-copyright infringing version of that

4:22

creature. Adventurers,

4:25

a chill wind blows,

4:28

filling the sail of your

4:30

moon schooner and carrying you up

4:32

out of the hole in the ceiling

4:34

of the Founders' Museum and into the

4:36

sky above. Mandy Korr flies

4:38

beside you. Sarah Pent

4:40

has wound her long serpentine

4:43

body around the many dog bones

4:46

that make up this schooner. And

4:48

the feast of numbats flitter beside

4:50

you. Yeah, I don't

4:52

think my moon schooner is big enough

4:55

to fit all of them. Is it?

4:57

Not unless you can find a lot

4:59

more dog bones and building materials really

5:02

quickly. Also, aren't we still flying

5:04

really slow? How are we ever gonna

5:06

get to the moon? As you

5:08

voice your doubts and concerns, Alabama

5:11

Hera, you feel two of

5:13

the seeds from the Tree of Life

5:16

glowing warm in your hand. Oh

5:19

yeah, the Founders each gave us one

5:21

of their diamond eyes. And

5:23

when Mandy Korr breathed fire

5:26

on them, the diamonds cracked

5:28

open, revealing a magical seed

5:31

from the idea tree within

5:33

each diamond. We probably should

5:35

have mentioned that in the recap. Well,

5:37

anyway, two of those seeds

5:39

are glowing in your hand,

5:41

Alabama. What the Founders' statues

5:44

say they were gonna do? Power

5:46

our ship, unite us, and

5:48

keep us warm. You should all

5:51

listen to the previous episodes. Um,

5:54

can I borrow those, Alabama? And

5:56

a little bubblegum? Always.

5:59

Well, at the back... with a ship. I

6:01

made a sculpture of a skull out

6:03

of dog bones and driftwood and seaweed,

6:05

and I put one of the diamonds

6:07

in for each eye and

6:09

stick them there with bubblegum." As

6:12

soon as the idea seeds are stuck

6:14

in place, they shine

6:16

even more brightly than they did

6:18

as diamonds. Vines start

6:20

shooting out from one, wrapping

6:22

around the ship and throaty

6:24

with leaves and flowers. Magical

6:26

spores blast from these

6:29

many plants, and

6:31

as you breathe them in, you

6:34

feel warmer, stronger, and the air

6:36

itself feels thicker. You

6:38

are now shielded from the cold, and

6:41

able to magically endure the effects

6:44

of space travel. Like not being able

6:46

to breathe? Yes, like that. Well,

6:48

thank goodness for space spores,

6:50

but we still sail in an Earth's atmosphere.

6:52

It's going to take us a long time.

6:54

As the other idea scene lights

6:57

up, two egg-shaped rockets of chrome

6:59

appear at the back of the

7:01

ship, opening up with a massive

7:03

blast of fire and

7:08

launching you into outer

7:10

space. Oh, Wade,

7:12

what about Mandian Sarabend in the Nom

7:14

Bats? As you say that, Malador,

7:18

the third seed floats up out

7:20

of Alabama's hand and shrinks

7:24

down your allies so

7:26

they can fit on the moon schooner too. Each

7:29

of you may, once per day,

7:31

make one of your allies return

7:33

to its normal size and take

7:36

a bonus turn for you before

7:39

shrinking right down again to be

7:41

small and invincible. Hey, I want to

7:43

be small and invincible and unable to

7:45

do anything else. Okay, well, maybe not

7:48

that. The space flight to the moon is

7:50

about 240,000 miles or 386,400 kilometers, and it'll take you

7:52

about three days at your current speed.

10:00

How did you survive? I

10:02

think I can enter this one. Yeah, I

10:04

just turned into a bunch of

10:06

dog bones and got yourself smuggled

10:09

into the city. But no one

10:11

here ages. The puppies haven't even

10:13

lost their sharp little puppy teeth.

10:16

And not every dog person was content

10:18

to live this way, but any who

10:21

left the city never returned.

10:24

The villain has spent most of the last thousand

10:27

years resting peacefully under the soil.

10:29

Yeah, cause otherwise I think I'd

10:31

be crazy. But over

10:34

the last few years, since

10:37

we arrived, I

10:40

started gathering the materials to build

10:42

this moon schooner, since none of

10:44

the dog vehicles will work for

10:47

non-dogs. And now,

10:49

at last, we

10:51

can save the world. Okay,

10:55

great. How?

11:01

I don't know, but I found out the

11:03

idea tree is on this snowy moon. That's

11:06

something, right? It is something, and

11:08

that it is slightly more than

11:10

nothing, yes. It's definitely something, we

11:13

just don't know what kind of something it

11:15

is, yet. Adventurers,

11:17

I need one of you to roll a D6

11:19

for me. Oh,

11:22

here we go. What did

11:24

you think, 240,000 miles of space was gonna

11:26

be empty? I mean, kind of. That's

11:29

science. Then I'm afraid we've

11:31

made our first miscalculation. Because

11:34

this is science. Fiction.

11:37

That's a six. Well that

11:39

was the highest roll you can get, which is

11:41

usually a good thing. Usually

11:44

you hear a distant howl. It

11:47

would normally be impossible in space,

11:50

as there's no air for sound to

11:52

travel through. But it should also be

11:55

impossible for it to snow in space,

11:57

or for a gentle breeze to fill

11:59

your sails. And yet that

12:01

is what happens as ghostly

12:04

clouds of snow, which are

12:06

vaguely doggy shaped, prance and

12:08

bound over, around and

12:10

under your ship, speeding you

12:13

on your journey. Oh, I want to

12:15

toss him a little treat. Sure, I'll

12:17

say you have some carrot

12:19

provisions that you throw out

12:21

into space. And as they pass through

12:23

the magical bubble that protects your ship,

12:26

the little carrots immediately freeze

12:28

over, floating lazily in space

12:30

before the snow goes, finds

12:32

the carrots and chew on

12:34

them with delight. Maybe

12:37

I'll give them like a

12:39

chewy ball of super condensed bubble

12:41

gum. Yeah, and I'll make

12:43

it smell like sticky stuff. The best

12:45

kind of stinks a dog could stunk.

12:48

I'll just throw them an old

12:50

bone from off the ship. Your

12:52

gifts are well received. And the

12:55

gentle spirits, these snow ghosts dance

12:57

and play around you like

12:59

interplanetary dolphins. Before

13:02

finally fading into snowflakes

13:04

themselves, you each gain

13:07

one heart. Those might

13:09

come in very handy. The

13:11

rest of your journey is pleasantly uneventful

13:14

as if the snow ghost somehow blessed

13:16

your journey. But as you

13:18

near the moon itself, you

13:21

see that this moon, unlike

13:23

our own, appears to have

13:25

an atmosphere, a windy snowy

13:28

one brace yourselves, people, a

13:30

blinding white assaults your vision. As

13:33

you enter the storm surrounding the moon,

13:36

icy winds rip at your

13:38

sail and cut through even

13:40

the tiniest gaps between the

13:42

vine dog bone and driftwood that

13:44

make up your moon schooner. Skullen,

13:47

the ship's wheel is trying to

13:49

spin out of your hands and

13:51

you are not strong enough to

13:53

hold it. Adventurers, what can you

13:55

do to help land your moon

13:57

schooner safely? I'll stick up my

14:00

hands and boots with bubble gum and

14:02

grab onto the wheel with Scullin. Alright

14:04

Alabama, you can roll your d6 and

14:06

Scullin you can roll dare and you

14:09

can keep the best result. So like

14:11

a four or five or six is

14:13

a good result for me. Usually,

14:16

but this is a pretty tricky situation.

14:18

Just go ahead and roll. Ewwww.

14:21

A five! A seven

14:23

plus six. With

14:26

your combined efforts you keep the wheel

14:28

from flying out of control but you

14:30

still have no idea where you're going.

14:32

Okay this might be crazy

14:35

but if I feed the

14:37

magical flowers a special stinky

14:40

concoction. Maybe they could

14:42

burp out like a steam cloud

14:44

because it's a spiciness and it'll

14:46

melt the snow? Roll

14:48

learn, Malador. But it won't be

14:51

easy to get this concoction just

14:53

right. Y'all, seven

14:55

plus two. Your stinky me

14:58

potion is so pungent that

15:00

the vines do indeed cough

15:02

and spit a steamy solution.

15:05

But now you're just flying in a

15:07

steam cloud rather than a snow cloud.

15:09

Yopee. Well steam helps

15:11

me sing in the shower.

15:14

Here we go. So I will fly

15:16

ahead with my keen swan

15:18

vision and sing loud so

15:20

the ship can follow me

15:23

to safety. That could

15:25

work. So just roll swan

15:27

song the snow swan

15:30

had a lovely charming

15:32

voice. She's a

15:34

one girl band helps the

15:37

ship to land while she

15:39

makes a lot of noise.

15:41

Honk. Roll wonder. I'll

15:43

even make that an easy roll

15:45

for an excellent and seasonal Rudolph

15:48

reference. Oh

15:51

good thing because that 14

15:53

replaces that five then I add two. With a

15:55

16 you guide the ship. It's

15:57

a raw Five

18:01

plus three. Well,

18:03

you still achieve stinkiness.

18:06

However, it's the bad kind. There

18:08

is no bad kind! Well, for

18:10

this creature, there is. Oh,

18:13

here we go. Yeah, Fred, I mean,

18:15

you heard the what-if question, right? Ha ha ha ha

18:17

ha ha ha ha! Of

18:20

course I heard it. Bring it on,

18:22

Mr. Eric! Oooooooh! Did

18:29

that say kawoof? It definitely

18:32

ended in an F. The

18:34

snow starts to shift around

18:36

you as a great eyelid

18:38

peels back. The eye

18:41

itself is bigger than all four of

18:43

you put together. And as the head

18:45

shakes fresh snow away, you

18:47

see a creature that is

18:50

more colossal than imagining. Like

18:52

a Tyrannosaurus Rex, only

18:55

exponentially larger, with a big

18:57

wet nose and thick

19:00

fur of snowy white and

19:02

dusky gray, covering most

19:04

of its body, and

19:06

long, floppy, soft ears.

19:08

Is it some kind of wolfosaurus?

19:12

That perk up at the sound of your voice,

19:14

mamajama. Not quite

19:17

a wolfosaurus. More

19:19

like a... Dogzilla!

19:24

Dogzilla's eyes widen, and

19:26

then squint in your

19:28

general direction as it

19:30

sniffs. Freddy's

19:37

stinky concoction, looking

19:39

none too pleased to be woken

19:41

from its slumber. Hey,

19:43

Dogzilla! Any chance you could

19:45

give us a lift? It

19:51

seems to know that you

19:53

are the source of the

19:55

stinky smell, Fred, and start

19:57

slowly and menacingly lumbering towards

19:59

you. Don't say it,

20:01

Mr. Eric. And that... Oh

20:03

no! ...is where we'll end...

20:06

Oh, come on! ...our adventure.

20:08

Godzilla! Finally!

20:14

Oh, but I just wanna fix everything! You

20:16

will have your chance. Assuming we

20:19

get past the unimaginably large creature

20:21

in our way. Oh, I'm confident

20:23

in that. Dennis, thank

20:25

you so much for your question, and I

20:27

hope you all enjoyed your adventure. We've

20:30

got some great what-if stories coming up for

20:32

you all, but our Guilds and Goblins

20:34

break won't be too long this time,

20:36

cause we all wanna finish this adventure.

20:39

And you all will go up a

20:41

level, starting fresh for the next challenge.

20:44

Folks at home, patrons of the show,

20:46

get access to our introductory Guilds

20:48

and Goblins rules, which are currently getting

20:50

a big revision. And you

20:52

also get ad-free episodes, a

20:55

shout-out on the show, and access

20:57

to other great rewards. Wizards

20:59

of what? Get all the

21:02

collected Guilds and Goblins material!

21:04

So go to patreon.com/what-if world

21:06

to support our show. Oh,

21:09

and I have a podcast recommendation for

21:11

you grown-ups. One of my friends at

21:13

Airwave makes the Calm History podcast, which

21:16

is just a really pleasant way to

21:18

learn a little something as you drift

21:20

off to sleep. You can check out

21:22

Calm History wherever you listen to podcasts.

21:24

I'd like to thank Karen O'Keefe, my

21:27

co-creator, Craig Martinson for our theme song,

21:29

and all you kids at home who help

21:31

make your town, your city, your

21:33

school, or your snowy outer space

21:35

moon a more welcoming place for

21:38

everyone. And until we adventure

21:40

again, keep wondering.