0:00

Welcome everyone. I'm Kevin Miller, your

0:03

host, guide, and fellow traveler as

0:05

we unearth what truly and authentically

0:08

drives us and make sure

0:10

we are aware and agree with

0:12

what's driving us so we can get where

0:14

we want to go, where we're meant to

0:16

go. In this episode,

0:18

how to get honest with our

0:21

distaste for change and better

0:24

equipped to go after it. So

0:26

many of you like me think of

0:28

yourselves as people seeking growth and change

0:30

and you obviously are you wouldn't be

0:32

here but you also have

0:34

a lot of struggles around actually changing. We

0:36

joke about it a lot but we're frustrated

0:38

by it. I'm learning about this and realizing

0:41

I'm not near as change-minded and able as

0:43

I'd really like to admit. I see

0:46

myself taking the easy way and falling

0:48

to routine most of the time and

0:51

sometimes that's okay but it comes down to clarifying

0:53

my values and seeing where do I actually want

0:55

to grow and change and improve and how do

0:57

I make a plan and advocate for that. I'm

1:00

getting better at addressing the root issues

1:02

that cause me to delay and put

1:04

off and fail and quit. So drive

1:06

with me a moment to talk about

1:08

change. And friends,

1:10

I do want to speak to those

1:12

of you who we may be destined

1:14

to work together personally. Many of you

1:17

listening or you want to be

1:19

or are currently

1:21

coaches, consultants, authors, speakers, writers, ultimately

1:23

people who want to influence others

1:25

with a message and guidance. In

1:28

these types of business pursuits you are selling

1:31

yourself and that's very unique if you're gonna

1:33

succeed you got to know that. You're the

1:35

type of people I like to work with

1:37

though help you establish a

1:39

platform solidify your place of influence even talk

1:41

about you here on the show. Go

1:44

to KevinMiller.co click on work with Kevin. I'd be

1:46

honored to talk with you see if it would

1:48

be a good time for us to work together.

1:51

Alright let's talk about

1:54

how to better go after change

1:56

and help ourselves drive better. I'm

2:02

a foodie and I enjoy learning about

2:04

the process that brings great foods and

2:06

beverages from idea to the table. And

2:09

then I like tasting them and learning the nuances of

2:12

what creates the most significant tastes from

2:14

coffee to cheese to distilled beverages. I

2:16

did a tequila tasting in Mexico and

2:19

recently bourbon. Heaven Hill bottled

2:21

in Bond bourbon really impressed me from

2:23

the story to the taste. I grew

2:25

up in Kentucky where horse racing and

2:28

bourbon are famous and I got introduced

2:30

to Heaven Hill bottled in Bond bourbon.

2:32

It's produced by Heaven Hill distillery which

2:34

has been and still remains family owned

2:37

since 1935 and I'm impressed

2:39

with the bourbon's ultra rich smooth taste and right

2:41

on the bottle it states that this bourbon

2:43

is seven years old which is actually three

2:45

times longer than what's required to be certified

2:47

as bottled in Bond. I feel with beverages

2:49

the longer the prep the better the taste.

2:52

Being a bottled in Bond product means

2:54

it must pass a list of seven

2:56

requirements that set the standard for this

2:58

quality bourbon. So look for it at your

3:00

local store. Heaven Hill reminds you to

3:02

think wisely and drink wisely. All

3:08

right how to get honest with our distaste

3:10

for change and better equipped to go after

3:14

it. A few episodes

3:16

ago I had Emily P Freeman on the

3:18

show. Her book is called The Next Right

3:20

Thing. A simple soulful

3:22

practice for making life decisions. The

3:25

issue with life decisions is they usually

3:27

mean a decision for something to change.

3:31

Most decisions we make are because something needs to

3:33

change. She brought this back again to mind

3:36

for me this human struggle for change

3:39

and I think it's acute to me because

3:41

I think of myself as someone who likes

3:43

change. It goes after change forge a new

3:45

path whatever and then I look at my

3:47

life and go I'm not seeing it a

3:49

whole lot. I mean obviously there are some

3:51

some big things that I've done you have

3:54

too but in general I'm not seeking change.

3:56

I go ride the same loops all the

3:58

time and run the same runs. day

4:00

in and day out. I could do them different and I kind of

4:02

look at that and go, okay, I'm not, I

4:04

think I want, I'm not afraid

4:07

to change, but I sure don't just tend to naturally

4:09

seek it out. And

4:12

even growing and changing. Again, I have so

4:14

many things related to my athletic pursuits, but

4:16

I realized that I'll go ride, let's say

4:18

mountain bike, the most difficult

4:20

trail and technical and it's super hard.

4:23

And yet if we were recently

4:25

on a mountain bike event and

4:29

you, you ride up to the top and then

4:31

come back down different trails, right up the top,

4:33

there's a road or there's a trail.

4:36

Well, I was, so I would think,

4:38

okay, I'm the guy who does the hard thing, right? Right at the trail.

4:40

And I realized I just don't want to. I

4:42

mean, if there's an easier way right there, I want

4:44

the easy way. I naturally just wanted to do that.

4:46

Just get up to the top, take the fastest and

4:48

easiest route. That's what my body wanted to do. If

4:50

I'm going to do the hard thing, I didn't make

4:53

sure that's the only option. Otherwise I'm going to choose

4:55

the easier thing. So back to this, what is it

4:57

about us in regards to

4:59

this? You may have

5:01

heard aspects of this before. I want you to really

5:03

hear it. I want me to really hear it. We

5:05

are not wired to change. We

5:08

are not wired as humans. We are programmed to

5:10

stay as is. So

5:12

right now, as you look at everything, you

5:14

need to know that here you are wanting

5:16

some change, thinking about it, desiring, hoping, and

5:18

yet realize, okay, this mind that you are

5:21

thinking about it through is wired

5:23

to not have

5:25

you change. So

5:28

any move toward change gets automatic pushback

5:30

from your brain. Now your brain isn't

5:32

the enemy. It is wired to

5:35

do exactly what it's supposed to do.

5:37

And that's protect you, not evolve, not

5:39

change to survive. It's

5:41

still anchored to you getting a lot of

5:44

sleep, staying at rest, storing

5:46

up energy. It wants you

5:48

to have fat reserves and energy reserves. So you're

5:50

ready and capable of going

5:52

out and gathering food and water so

5:54

you don't die. Hunting something that you're gonna

5:57

have to chase and kill so you have food to eat and you

5:59

won't die. Running from an attacking

6:01

lion who wants to eat you. Person

6:04

wants to take what you have to eat and you'll

6:06

die that's again work

6:08

we're coming we think we've evolved but it's a

6:10

very short time. Since our ancestors

6:12

even a couple generations ago we're just

6:15

out in the fields trying to live

6:17

and survive. Our

6:19

brain is wired for safety and security and

6:21

to self protect i'm just blown away by

6:24

that as i watch myself me kevin neller.

6:26

No former pro athlete father of a million

6:28

kids built a house in the woods and

6:31

started all these businesses. There

6:35

are some things that i desired. There

6:37

was pain i wanted to address but for

6:39

the most part i just i'm just like

6:41

i just depicted. I

6:44

am bent towards safety security self

6:46

protection not change. Now

6:49

we generally change because there's enough pain that

6:51

is historically statistically that's what the research shows

6:54

we generally as humans we don't change until

6:56

there's pain we don't go get a new

6:58

job till we get fired we don't change

7:00

our health and wellness. Habits until we get

7:02

a near death diagnosis or heart attack something

7:04

like that we don't

7:07

get relationally fit. Go

7:10

see a counselor until we're in deep depression

7:12

or near divorce or so and so that

7:15

is not sometimes there are some people who

7:17

are more. Prone

7:19

to go after desires they don't wait for

7:21

the pain i think

7:24

that's great i think that i am that

7:26

to some degree i would say you are

7:28

too you wouldn't be here proactively voluntarily listening

7:31

to a personal growth show you be listening

7:33

some entertainment somewhere. And

7:36

so you may be a little more prone to

7:38

go after risk not because you're into risk even

7:41

those who people say big risk takers you

7:43

know i know athletes and stuff and they're

7:45

kind of addicted to adrenaline almost like drug

7:47

addicts. Not dissing them i

7:49

appreciate the adrenaline there too but i don't

7:51

look at it as some altruistic holier than

7:54

now superman thing it's like i

7:56

you know everybody's got their drug that's one

7:58

of mine don't think anything. Anybody is

8:00

just prone to go after risk. You know, it's

8:02

interesting. I think of I'm going to speak to

8:04

guys. I'm a guy that we get more credit.

8:07

I don't know if it's fair, but

8:09

for going after risk and we'll do it with

8:11

business. We'll do it with

8:13

physical injury, but we don't

8:15

risk emotions. I'd rather do that

8:18

than deal with the hard confrontation or the

8:20

hard emotion. I'd rather step

8:22

in front of a bullet and die for

8:24

one of my family members than have to, you

8:26

know, talk about something deep or to deal

8:29

with, you know, emotional issues. Even

8:33

with certainty, we all

8:35

want certainty. I hear people,

8:37

you know, like this. Again, I'm out in the woods here

8:40

as usual and you see guys

8:42

like me who will go, oh man, I'm

8:44

good with uncertainty. Just throw me out into

8:46

the remote woods. No,

8:48

it's not. It's because you've proven that you're,

8:50

you can figure out your direction. You can

8:53

survive. You've got some athletic confidence. It's just

8:55

stuff that you've done. Again, put you in

8:57

a place. Put me. Throw me

8:59

out in the woods. I'm good. Throw me in the middle

9:01

of New York. I'm not. I'm not being

9:03

facetious. I am not. I'm so out of

9:06

place and so incompetent and a big airport. Can't

9:08

keep my sense of direction that I get so much accolades

9:10

for out in the woods. It's

9:13

still where we are comfortable, where

9:16

we are confident, where we have proven

9:18

ourselves, where we have safety, security. We're

9:21

not programmed to change. And here we all

9:24

thinking that we desire and want to pursue

9:26

these new things. And

9:28

yet we need to realize that

9:31

we are naturally predisposed to be

9:33

opposed to change. So what do

9:35

we do? What's the secret? What's the hack,

9:37

right? I don't believe there is one. I think it's just

9:39

knowing this. So now I know it. No, okay, I'm going

9:41

to go after this thing. My

9:44

brain is wired kind of against it. It

9:46

wants to go back to the default. It wants to

9:48

save energy. So I'm going

9:50

to go after it. And it reminded

9:52

me too of just that. Just knowing it's going

9:54

to be hard. Hard to get going. It's

9:56

like if you ever pushed a car, it wouldn't

9:58

start. It's really, really hard. to get it

10:00

going not so hard once it gets going. That's

10:02

what change is like. Like working out. If you

10:05

right now go from zero to you walk into

10:07

a gym and do a huge leg workout, the

10:09

next day you can't stand. You

10:12

can't move. Your body looks at

10:14

it and says an injury. You just tore down

10:16

your muscles and it's looking at like an injury.

10:18

It's super inflamed. It's throwing everything it can at

10:20

those legs trying to get them healed.

10:24

Treats it like an injury and that's what

10:26

it'll do if you do it that one time.

10:28

Now go do it a second time. You know

10:30

in a short in a few days maybe. Do

10:32

it a third time. Do it a fourth time

10:34

and over and over as an athlete you realize

10:36

this. I mean as a cyclist when I first

10:38

started cycling it killed me. After a while if

10:40

you look at the guys in the Tour de

10:42

France their legs aren't sore really. Now

10:45

they get massages and stuff to try to get

10:47

them to recover quicker but they're not feeling physical.

10:49

They're not walking. They're not hobbling around. You don't

10:51

see the guys afterwards all just hobbling around. They

10:53

can't walk up into the bus. Their

10:56

legs are used to this. So now when they

10:58

work out their legs go oh yeah we know

11:01

this is about let's get behind it and support

11:03

it. The body the brain supports it. That's what

11:05

I see with change. Once we start our

11:07

body's brain is fighting it and once we get

11:09

going it's going okay now I'm ready to support

11:12

it but initially and that's why we struggle with

11:14

it so it's natural and if we come to

11:16

it and go okay this is going to be

11:18

a little bit fighting upstream for a little while but then I'll

11:21

adjust and we have the cards

11:23

on the table call a spade a spade

11:25

all these cliches man I think that

11:28

really helps us to look at it and go it will

11:30

be hard to start. We're not prone for

11:32

change but we can come around to

11:34

it. Well friends thanks for

11:36

joining me on this journey to talk about

11:38

change and how we can better address it

11:41

to address our drive towards things that we

11:43

would do want to change and evolve and

11:45

make better. Hey

11:47

again if you are in

11:49

the business or want to be in the business of

11:51

selling yourself as a person of influence I

11:54

would be honored to talk with you

11:56

about working with you go to KevinMiller.co

11:59

click on work

12:01

with Kevin. I hope

12:03

this episode helps you drive further and

12:06

enjoy the ride. Most

12:10

of today you will be indoors likely your home

12:12

or your office. I am as well even with

12:14

my treks out into the woods I spend a

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lot of time inside and we're gonna think about

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to the EPA the indoor air is

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two to five times more polluted than

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the outdoor air sometimes up to a

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my studio we have heat being forced through

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closest friends is a wildly successful wealth

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ask you to check out Yahoo finance.com

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to visit. We all get spend a

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day together and I was at Yahoo

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Shopify dot Com slash Kevin. Thanks

16:05

so much for joining me on

16:07

this journey. I look forward to

16:09

meeting you in the Dry The

16:12

Tribe community for ongoing discussions about

16:14

each episode. He can subscribe to

16:16

the Drive Drop newsletter for weekly

16:18

updates. Find it all at Kevan

16:20

Miller.c L along with all or

16:22

social media and video clips. Until

16:24

next time I hope this episode

16:26

helps you drive further and enjoy

16:28

the ride.