Three brave men stand on the thin blue line between order and anarchy, standing dread watch to secure the continuity of civilization. You don't have to thank us for our service. The seats awaiting us in Valhalla are thanks enough already.

YOU'RE GONNA HATE IT Episode 1: The Exterminating Angel/Freddy Got Fingered

Apr 23rd, 2020 1h 36m

Matt and Rob have the first episode of their spinoff podcast here for you: You're Gonna Hate It, in which they torture each other by assigning each other movies they know the other will hate. In this episode, Rob tortures Matt with Luis Buñuel'

OFFICIAL Mayor Pete Endorsement Pod

Feb 3rd, 2020 1h 25m

We are pleased to announce that WJAQ has engaged the consulting services of McKinsey & Company. In order to increase the efficiency of podcast output, Keegan has been eliminated, and the third chair has been privatized. We are currently accepti

seventh heaven

Nov 18th, 2019 1h 12m

this week: which presidential candidate is hottest? kamala harris? hello misses officer. mayor pete? we'd love to get to the center of that centrist. elizabeth warren? we'll be your marine. joe biden? yes zaddy. amy klobuchar? don't remember wh

mersa fuck

Jul 13th, 2019 1h 38m

The great creation of Turkmenbashy The native land, the sovereign state Forever, the light and song of the soul, Live long and prosper, Turkmenistan!

Jurassic Farce

May 17th, 2019 1h 36m

in the children's book We're Back, a group of friendly and intelligent dinosaurs are transported to the present day, where they hope to entertain children at the natural history museum. instead, they are rejected by a suspicious populace who re

brain quest

Mar 28th, 2019 54m 12s

it's actually "atarme"

WILD ZOGS

Dec 25th, 2018 1h 10m

all I want for Christmas is white genocide

The JFK Episode

Nov 20th, 2018 1h 16m

It's nothin but pure JFK talk on this one baby.

Walking on the Sun

Sep 29th, 2018 1h 38m

It's another grab-bag folks. Keegan tells us about how the recent sunspot observatory closure is a sign of Nibiru's imminent arrival, Matt freaks out about Peter Thiel, and Rob tells us the story of the Great Academic Poop Whodunit.

Probe Me Daddy

Aug 9th, 2018 1h 15m

The gang argues about Area 51, and aliens, and interspecies sexual harassment.

The Podesta Grope

Jul 27th, 2018 1h 18m

We argue about Pizzagate, Pizzagate 2: Qanon, and also which characters from children's entertainment we would fuck. Tim returns and embarrasses himself in front of clergy.

Equilibrium (2002) starring Christian Bale and Taye Diggs, dir. by Kurt Wimmer

Jun 26th, 2018 1h 14m

You get three whole topics in this one folks. We talk about whether 23andMe is faking results to fuck with racists, whether a high school basketball phenom is actually in his twenties, and what happened to Melania Trump when she disappeared for

Tear Down This Podcast

Jun 13th, 2018 1h 16m

Matt, Keegan and guest star Tim debate whether Reagan conspired with Ayatollah Whatshisname to extend the hostage crisis and swing the election against Jimmy Carter. Rob didn't plan well and couldn't make it so Matt tries to make fun of him whi

Flat Like Your Mom

May 29th, 2018 1h 16m

WELCOME TO SEASON TWO: FUNNIER. SEXIER. LESS RELIABLE. We return from hiatus with a hard-hitting look at the Flat Earth movement that's sweeping the globe [citation needed]. Also: Keegan is bad at boomerangs. Rob is bad at sex. Matt is bad at d

Let the Bodies Hit the Floor

Apr 20th, 2018 1h 27m

The last episode we recorded before our hiatus. We kinda just sat on it for a while. By "we" we mean Rob. Anyway Keegan makes a surprising amount of sense as we argue about whether the Clintons have killed like fifty people. Specifically Americ

Cocaine Dryboys

Mar 20th, 2018 1h 22m

We debate whether (or, really, to what extent) the CIA was involved in the drug trade, and Rob shows off his Matt impression. It's very annoying.

Putin on the Blitz

Mar 15th, 2018 1h 22m

Sorry this one is so late. Rob got sick and forgot to upload the episode. We argue about whether Vladimir Putin orchestrated a series of false-flag bombings in the 90s, and Matt teaches his daughter about racial slurs.

Virtua Fucker

Mar 6th, 2018 1h 16m

Rob and Keegan try to debate whether Olympic ice dancing medalists Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir are fucking without knowing anything about ice dancing. Matt sort of listens and tells several irrelevant stories. Rob and Keegan also make reference

c u l8r boi

Feb 27th, 2018 1h 16m

Did Avril Lavigne kill herself in 2003? Was she replaced by a body double and/or clone? Rob discusses drunkenly accosting the former House Majority Leader. Matt just kinda leaves at one point. We really half-assed the second half of this one.

Juche Gang

Feb 20th, 2018 1h 23m

Matt offers the extremely hot take that North Korea is good as he argues the Hawaiian false alarm missile alert was done intentionally to scare us into a war. Rob explains one of the many reasons he is afraid at all times. Keegan is confused by

Bonus

The Sardine Comrade

Feb 18th, 2018 8m 9s

Matt forces more sardines on Rob and defends North Korea.

The Protocols of the Elders of Draco

Feb 13th, 2018 1h 19m

Join us as we discuss whether reptilians secretly control the world, and whether this whole conspiracy is just sci-fi antisemitism. Also: Keegan's struggles with autistic children.

The Wet Bandit's Greatest Crime

Feb 6th, 2018 1h 23m

Did commissioner David Stern fix the 1985 NBA draft for the Knicks? Did he later co-star in Home Alone? Did Keegan do accidental blackface? Is Rob aroused by the sight of his own blood?