0:00

Hi everyone. My name's Wendy Manganaro

0:03

and I am the Host of the Wellness and

0:05

Wealth podcast. I'm so happy

0:07

to have you find us. And

0:09

if you could take a moment and hit that subscribe

0:12

button, I'd really appreciate it. This

0:15

is the podcast where we believe

0:17

when you show up better for yourself

0:20

as a woman business owner, you show up

0:22

better for your business. So

0:24

sit back, relax. And learn

0:26

from the practical to the woo-hoo, how to

0:28

best take care of you. Have

0:31

a great day. Stay blessed. And

0:34

leave a review when you're done listening

0:36

to the show, thanks so much.

0:38

Hi everyone. I'm excited you're here

0:40

today and we have another great

0:42

topic, mindfulness, mental health,

0:45

and Living Your Purpose.

0:47

Today our guest is Dorsey Standish,

0:50

and I'm gonna read her bio and then we'll get right

0:52

into the show. Dorsey Standish

0:54

is the CEO of Mastermind, a

0:56

Dallas-based corporate wellness firm.

0:59

Dorsey is a mechanical engineer,

1:02

neuroscientist, and wellness expert

1:04

who brings evidence-based mindfulness

1:06

and emotional intelligence to clients

1:09

worldwide. Dorsey has LED

1:11

science-based wellness programs for hundreds

1:13

of companies, including Staples, Toyota,

1:15

and American Airlines. Dorsey

1:18

holds a master's degree in cognitive

1:20

neuroscience from the University

1:22

of Texas at Dallas, and

1:24

a bachelor's degree

1:26

in mechanical engineering from

1:28

the University of Pennsylvania. Dorsey's

1:32

teachings draw on her training as

1:34

a teacher of mindfulness-based

1:36

stress reduction through Brown University

1:38

and deep experience on regular

1:41

seven day silent meditation

1:43

retreats, studying with master

1:46

teachers. Welcome Dorsey. Thanks for coming on the show.

1:48

Hey, Wendy, so great to be here. Thank

1:50

you so much for having me.

1:52

Yeah, I'm always excited about these topics

1:54

around mindfulness, especially with mental health.

1:56

I'm a big, believer that mental health is not

1:58

a month, a year that we should be having

2:01

these conversations year round. So this is gonna

2:03

be fantastic. So we'll get right into

2:05

it. What does living

2:07

your purpose look like to you?

2:10

That's a great question, Wendy, and I think even that

2:12

phrase can be intimidating. Oh my

2:14

gosh. Living my purpose. What does that mean?

2:17

We might even start by thinking about it as

2:19

living on purpose or living with purpose

2:22

or living with intention. I know

2:24

for me, I was really intimately familiar

2:26

with what it's not. You might know some of

2:28

my background you shared in the intro

2:31

that I'm a mechanical engineer and

2:33

I spent many years in the corporate world. And

2:36

from the outside looking in, I looked really

2:38

successful. I was climbing the corporate

2:40

ladder, getting promotions

2:43

and accolades. I got to spend my 25th

2:45

birthday in Taiwan

2:47

launching a product for a tech

2:49

company and I

2:51

knew that I was good at my job

2:53

and I was getting affirmation and acknowledgement

2:56

for it, and it seemed like the right thing to

2:58

do based on how I had been raised and

3:01

what my family values were. But on

3:03

the inside I felt a piece

3:05

missing. While I loved technology and

3:07

engineering, I always knew that I was

3:10

a people person, and at the end of the day it

3:12

was connection with people that really made me light

3:14

up and I got to do some of that

3:16

in my program management role. But the

3:18

truth is that even when I was working at this

3:20

tech company, my favorite parts

3:22

of the week were when I would lead these free yoga classes

3:25

for my female colleagues, and

3:28

I started to look forward to those sessions to

3:30

feel this certain amount of energy exchange

3:32

and positive coming together and just

3:34

what it meant to be part

3:36

of a group that was invested in

3:38

wellness and wholeness, even in the midst

3:41

of a really stressful corporate environment. And

3:44

so I knew that I was out of alignment ultimately

3:46

with that really strong desire of mine to help

3:48

others and be really connected to people

3:51

all the time. So it was that experience

3:53

of feeling out of alignment and getting burned out

3:55

in a traditional tech role that inspired

3:58

me to turn inwards. And,

4:00

I did at first. I took baby steps, I started

4:02

doing things that work that would allow me to

4:04

feel more in alignment. I launched

4:07

this TI Pride initiative and

4:09

I got to bring a really large group to out and equal

4:12

conference. I started a new tech

4:14

initiative as well, and all

4:16

of these things were great and it was like taking little steps

4:19

and then eventually I realized that my

4:21

calling was outside of that, being

4:23

in that corporate environment and part

4:26

of going to corporations as a consultant

4:28

and helping to bring some of these strategies that have

4:30

changed my life in. But

4:32

I think that the first step in living with

4:35

purpose is, Pausing

4:37

and taking inventory. Where am I now?

4:39

Do I feel in alignment? Do I feel

4:42

excited? You mentioned Wendy,

4:44

how much you love this podcast how excited

4:46

you get to do it. You're learning so much

4:48

stuff, right? So this is really in alignment with you.

4:50

This is part of your purpose, and

4:53

it doesn't mean that we have to take any drastic action

4:55

or quit our jobs tomorrow, but I think pausing

4:58

and becoming aware, which is where mindfulness comes

5:00

in of. How am I feeling? Am

5:02

I excited to get out of bed in the morning and if

5:04

not, what little things can I start

5:06

to change and tweak and then down the line?

5:08

That may lead to making a bigger shift. But

5:10

for me it was all about realizing my

5:13

favorite parts of my week and my life and

5:15

starting to invest more time and energy there.

5:18

That's interesting you talk about that because I

5:20

think when I first started to get into mindfulness

5:22

and understanding, I had a coach and I talk

5:24

about this often, who was like, what do you want? First

5:27

of all, I don't know if anybody's ever asked me that question

5:29

prior to that, other than where do you wanna be in

5:31

five years when you go for a job and you're like, oh,

5:34

what's gonna sound good? Not that kind of, what

5:36

do you want and I really didn't know.

5:38

And for me, it started with realizing

5:40

what I didn't want. I just never looked

5:42

to see what was the opposite of that. I got

5:44

as far as I don't want this. And then I attract more

5:47

of that, but I like, I don't want this,

5:49

but I never really asked myself like,

5:51

Okay, so if you don't want this, what are you looking

5:54

for instead? And I think that sometimes

5:56

that's where we start, when we start with all these careers

5:58

and everything looks good on the outside

6:00

looking in, and I did the same thing

6:02

in nonprofit, but I raised through the ranks

6:05

and all of that stuff. And on the outside

6:07

everybody was like, you're doing so well. And I'm

6:09

like, I'm not sure I really want to do

6:11

this. So I think that's

6:13

there's something about that. I like that you

6:15

said these little tiny tweaks because

6:18

sometimes it's okay, this doesn't feel

6:20

good anymore. It may have, and I'd

6:22

love to hear your opinion on this. It may

6:24

have at one time felt good

6:26

and that part of it is giving yourself

6:29

permission to be but it doesn't have to stay feeling

6:31

that way.

6:33

Yeah, that's a great point, Wendy.

6:35

And yeah, I don't, I can't speak for

6:37

you in your nonprofit experience, but I know for

6:39

me that engineering work that I did, it

6:41

laid the foundation for who I am today.

6:43

And it was perfect for me right out of college

6:46

to get that experience presenting, being

6:48

part of a bigger organization, learning

6:50

what real life engineering was really about. Yes,

6:52

it totally served. At one

6:54

point, I think what you're saying, and

6:57

what I agree with is that sometimes we just get on autopilot

6:59

and we just keep doing the same thing and we

7:01

look to other people rather than turning inwards

7:04

for what's really serving us, we

7:06

realize, oh my gosh, I'm actually not

7:09

where I wanna be, or I'm not living alignment

7:11

with who I am right now, who I'm

7:13

showing up as right now.

7:15

Yeah. I'm in total agreement with that and that's what

7:17

I think happened is I went on this, okay,

7:19

this is what I'm supposed to do. I graduated college

7:21

and it wasn't bad and honestly,

7:23

years later my husband and I opened our own

7:25

non-profit and I took so much of that

7:28

experience. into what we were doing

7:30

and that was aligned for eight years and then

7:32

it was not. We did that and we're like, okay, now

7:34

it's time to do something else. But I

7:36

think we get into this autopilot

7:38

of, okay, this is what everybody expects

7:40

of me, so I'm showing up. And somewhere

7:43

in that we lose ourselves. And

7:46

I think that's what happens is when you start to feel

7:48

like that feeling of, okay, I

7:50

don't feel like me here though. Or you get resentful

7:52

against it. That's another thing I think that

7:54

happens. I don't know if you've experienced that where

7:56

all of a sudden you're like, why do I not like this?

7:58

And I, I think it happens in businesses too

8:02

when we don't align ourself to our business.

8:04

Have you had experience or worked with people that,

8:07

that deal with that they think they're on the right path

8:09

and then suddenly they're resentful about what they built?

8:11

Yeah, I think that's such a good point. And I

8:13

can acknowledge some of that within my own

8:15

journey of living this dream, life

8:17

of making a living by doing mindfulness work,

8:19

which if you told me that seven years ago

8:22

I'd be doing that, I would be in shock. And so

8:24

excited about it. And for the most part,

8:26

I am, and I've grown a lot

8:29

in the past seven years and I've

8:31

noticed myself, for example,

8:34

teaching class after class. Become

8:36

kind of second nature for me, and it's no longer necessarily

8:38

a growth opportunity to get up in front of

8:40

companies virtually or in person. And

8:43

so for me right now that next level where I'm

8:45

really being called to grow into is

8:47

being a leader and a visionary and training

8:50

other people and empowering them to go in.

8:52

And I can totally acknowledge

8:54

what you're saying about that resentment

8:56

of realizing, oh my gosh, I built this business

8:58

at one point, this was my dream, and my dream

9:00

is evolving and it's becoming slightly different.

9:02

I think it's so common for entrepreneurs

9:05

to, again, keep doing

9:07

it. Oh, this is successful, this is working. I

9:10

gotta keep doing it. And I think it's so important

9:12

that we take pauses to check

9:14

back in with ourselves and that we have mentors and

9:16

coaches that help us to continue

9:18

to grow and doing the things that got us

9:21

to the success that we're at. Right now.

9:23

That's a good point too, is that I think that mentor

9:26

mentors and coaches are very important

9:28

in that journey. So

9:30

let's backtrack a little bit though for

9:32

a second, because the part of the

9:35

topic is this idea of mental health. And

9:37

aligning or living with purpose,

9:39

with your mental health and what would

9:42

be some of the checkpoints where it's not

9:44

aligning? It doesn't feel where the mental health

9:46

part of it really starts to get heavy.

9:49

That's a great question, Wendy. And I

9:51

think a lot of us have experienced this

9:53

in different ways, if not before, at

9:55

least over the past two and a half years with the Covid

9:57

crisis and the ongoing fallout

10:00

in ships in our society from that,

10:02

I can tell you from my experience,

10:05

again, things look great

10:07

on the outside, looking in from the inside out,

10:09

I can tell you that. I wasn't sleeping

10:12

well, but work took up my

10:14

whole life. I didn't know who I was if I

10:16

didn't have my laptop in front of me and I couldn't

10:18

get that dopamine hit of sending an email. I

10:20

would wake up in the middle of the night obsessing

10:22

about work, and I remember sending an email to a colleague

10:24

at 3:30 AM about. Spectroscopy.

10:27

Come on, get your sleep. I totally

10:29

lost perspective, which I think is

10:31

a sign that mental health may be challenged,

10:34

is not having perspective on,

10:36

okay, if I don't take care of my basic

10:38

needs for sleep, for

10:40

wellness, for self-care, then what's

10:42

the point of all these other things that I'm doing. If that's

10:45

not in alignment, and then there's other

10:47

signs too. People will struggle

10:49

with symptoms of anxiety

10:51

or depression and it can

10:53

be as subtle as being like,

10:56

wow, it's been really hard for me to get outta bed for

10:58

the past few weeks. Or, I notice

11:00

my mind racing constantly and it's really

11:03

hard to pull it back in and focus on the

11:05

task. And our society

11:08

is doing such a good job, I think about waking up

11:10

to the importance of mental health.

11:13

Through my journey, what I learned is that

11:16

yes, coping with mental illness

11:18

and recovering to a state of

11:20

mental health is really important, and

11:23

I really don't want people to wait

11:25

until they're in a point of crisis, like I was

11:27

in my journey before I started to get

11:29

help and to really invest in myself.

11:31

So the work that we do now

11:34

with corporations is really focused

11:36

on helping each person develop

11:38

their own inner toolkit for mental

11:40

wellness. So that, As soon as

11:42

I start to feel myself, wow, like I'm having

11:44

trouble sleeping or I dunno if I'm in

11:46

alignment. Yes, go get a mentor.

11:49

Go get a coach. Talk to your doctor, and

11:51

what can you do right here, right

11:53

now? Can you take a five minute mindful pause

11:55

and turn inwards and just acknowledge how you're feeling.

11:58

Can you start to journal to keep track of the different

12:00

symptoms and things you're experiencing? I was so

12:02

helpless when I had a mental

12:04

health diagnosis, when I had that experience

12:07

of burnout and I didn't know

12:09

how to turn inwards. And so the work

12:11

that I love to do now is to teach

12:13

people that well in advance of any kind of

12:15

crisis so that they know that. In

12:17

addition to turning outside of themselves, they can also look

12:20

inward to get the support they need through

12:22

practices like mindfulness, mental wellness

12:25

practices, like gratitude. So simple, yet so

12:27

powerful when it puts us back in the driver's seat for

12:30

our own health.

12:31

It's interesting you're talking about that. And especially

12:33

with burnout. I had a very, enlightening experience

12:36

yesterday. I like to take photos. I don't really

12:38

talk about this usually on the show, but I love

12:40

to go play photographer out

12:42

there. of Beautiful sceneries. it's something

12:44

I just enjoy. It gets me out in nature.

12:46

it's a wonderful thing. So yesterday I went to go

12:48

do this and I think I'm going

12:50

on this little trail. It turns out to be

12:53

a six and a half mile off

12:55

road track. Not really a trail to walk

12:57

on, more to drive on, but

13:00

this particular state forest I went to had a Forest

13:02

fire over the summer. And the reason why I'm telling you this

13:04

story is, and I think it was so profound

13:07

to me because the road had been

13:09

the separation between the fire where they

13:11

could stop it and it burnt

13:13

acres and the other

13:15

side, so one side was all burnt

13:17

trees. No, no foliage, and

13:20

the other side was this beautiful,

13:22

even though it's fall lush with colors

13:24

and gorgeous. And it was parts of it,

13:26

it was so starkly different that

13:29

I kept thinking to myself. Like the one side

13:31

is like when we're not aligned,

13:34

when we're not living in good conscience.

13:37

And to that point where we burn

13:39

it all down and when you're talking about crisis,

13:42

that's what I'm thinking of is like this idea,

13:44

like it was so stark and I was

13:46

like, but we don't have to get

13:48

to that point of burning it all down around

13:50

us to get to the other side where

13:52

there's light and there's all of this aligned

13:55

energy, and it's beautiful. And

13:57

I think sometimes as people,

13:59

we forget that we don't have to go to this stark

14:02

drastic point before we do

14:05

ask for help. I

14:07

don't know if that's, and I'm sure you see that with the people

14:09

that you work with because they've never been taught or for

14:12

whatever the reason. They have to go all

14:14

the way down before they even ask for help.

14:16

And I talk about that a lot with my girlfriends

14:18

as we do not have to

14:20

burn it all down before we get some

14:23

other perspective in here. But sometimes

14:25

we feel like that, especially when you're in an entrepreneur

14:27

position and you feel alone.

14:30

Yeah. That's such a beautiful

14:32

depiction. I can just picture that. One side

14:34

of the road and the other side of the road and

14:36

that stark difference. That's a really great

14:38

illustration and I totally

14:41

agree with you. What if we

14:43

didn't have to go there? I will say though,

14:45

that I've talked to so many people who

14:47

have burnt it all down in one way or

14:49

another, or had that dark night of the soul, and

14:51

what's so cool is there's almost this reforestation

14:55

process. After something like that happens,

14:57

it takes a while to even dream

15:00

that it's gonna look like that other side of the road, that

15:02

has the light and the lush greenery

15:04

and everything, but sometimes

15:06

it's that magic period

15:09

of starting to invest in yourself

15:11

and fertilize your soil and put the time

15:13

and the nutrients in that you

15:15

can start that slow, steady growth process

15:18

to get back to where you wanna be. So

15:21

some people have those moments, other people don't

15:24

have to go all the way there. But

15:26

I think the one thing that covid

15:28

did. It brought mental health more

15:31

into the limelight. I can't

15:33

tell you how many companies and people I work

15:35

with who are now realizing,

15:37

oh, My employees are a little

15:39

stressed. I need to bring in them in some

15:41

wellness stuff. So they're not saying, oh, people are

15:44

quitting, or, we have half of our staff

15:46

missing, recovering from burnout. Thank goodness

15:48

they're saying, I can tell people are stressed

15:50

out and I really wanna support them. And

15:52

so we're starting to treat mental

15:55

health, I think equally

15:57

to physical health and

15:59

that vocabulary of, oh, you're gonna go

16:01

work out for your body today. Oh yeah,

16:03

I'm gonna go work out for my mind, or I'm gonna do this

16:05

self-care practice for my mental

16:08

wellness is starting to become some

16:10

more in our repertoire.

16:13

And that's what I see more and more in the corporate

16:15

world. And I have so many clients

16:17

that, my journey, my story

16:19

has been all about going from. Not

16:22

practicing mindfulness to, I'm gonna

16:24

practice every day and it's gonna become part of who I am.

16:27

I would love that for everybody, but what more

16:29

realistically happens is that people will come

16:31

to our sessions once a week or once

16:33

a month, and then when they need it,

16:36

they know where they can turn and they have

16:38

that tool. To lean into and turn

16:40

to, to add it. Just like they might go to a

16:42

Pilates class for their bodies or something like that.

16:44

They have this added tool of mindfulness and

16:46

meditation and journaling and reflection and

16:48

turning inwards to add into

16:51

their toolbox of the ways that they take care of themselves.

16:54

That's interesting and I do agree with you that

16:57

I think that it becomes this tool. I

16:59

think that's a really important part of

17:01

it, is that it's knowing okay,

17:03

this is a safe thing to use if we were

17:05

gonna go workout, because we don't think any of them. We're either

17:08

gonna do that, because we have workout people and non-workout

17:10

people and and it doesn't have to be so black and white, but it

17:12

could be a tool as people need

17:14

it. I'm gonna back you up a little bit. You

17:16

talked about teaching yoga classes while

17:18

you were in corporate America. How did you

17:20

get into mindfulness? Because yoga's, part, mindful

17:23

was that something you've been practicing

17:25

for a long time before you even started

17:27

to this journey? Or was

17:29

getting into yoga a stepping

17:31

stone into where you are?

17:35

Yeah, that's a great question, Wendy. I joke

17:37

that yoga was my gateway drug into

17:39

mindfulness because it was definitely a stepping

17:41

stone for me. I started practicing yoga

17:43

in 2011.

17:46

I've always been very type A,

17:48

you can guess what the engineering and science

17:51

and was doing triathlons

17:53

in my spare time, got injured,

17:56

forced to do yoga. Only thing my doctor would

17:58

let me do So I'm like, oh

18:00

my gosh, this is so slow. This is so

18:02

boring. But there was something about yoga

18:04

that grabbed me. It was like the one place in my life

18:06

where I accepted that I wasn't trying

18:08

to win any trophies or perform

18:11

or achieve anything. It was just about being there

18:13

and showing up, and I love that. And

18:16

so I practice regularly

18:18

and got my teacher training certification

18:20

in 2013. And you're right,

18:22

some people equate yoga with mindfulness,

18:25

or you can think about yoga being a mindful

18:27

movement practice. For some people, the way they practice,

18:30

it's like a moving meditation where they're focused on their

18:32

breath and their body. That wasn't really

18:34

the way I was practicing I was doing like

18:36

arm balances and finding those

18:38

ways to progress and perform even within

18:41

yoga, but because I had been

18:43

exposed to this world of holistic

18:45

wellness and mindful movement and those

18:47

forced Shavasana periods at the end of a yoga

18:49

class where you'd have to lay there and stillness

18:51

for a few minutes, when I did

18:53

have that mental health crisis in 2015,

18:57

I had a foundation of where I could

18:59

turn for answers. And I coupled

19:01

that with my own research

19:03

and exploration into stress resiliance,

19:06

into ways that I could train my brain, cuz I knew

19:08

I wanted to have a stressful job and a meaningful

19:10

job, and so it wasn't like I wanted to

19:13

take away the stress. It was that I wanted

19:15

to be better equipped to deal with the stress of life.

19:18

And I just kept landing on meditation

19:20

and mind training. I read Andy

19:22

Putti, I'm the founder of Headspace. His

19:25

book gets some Headspace. I started

19:27

using the Calm app. I was very much self-taught

19:29

and just on this search

19:32

for meaning and

19:34

to understand my mind better

19:37

and to understand myself and what it

19:39

meant to be human better. And

19:41

that ultimately led me to these

19:43

moments in stillness where there's some similarity

19:46

to the yoga practice of being with your body, being

19:48

with your breath. But for me, it was really getting still

19:51

and being with myself alone, that can

19:53

be so scary. But that was what I really

19:55

needed. And I wanna acknowledge you, you

19:57

hinted at this a little bit. but

19:59

how intimidating the practice of meditation or

20:01

mindfulness can be. We have all these connotations

20:04

of meditation as, oh, having a calm mind,

20:07

or even the fear of sitting

20:09

in silence. I was teaching an intensive

20:12

this past weekend and I was sharing with them the

20:14

analogy one of my teachers had given me, which

20:16

was that our mind can be like a bad

20:18

neighborhood. We don't wanna go there alone. We

20:21

want guidance. We want support. We want

20:23

someone sitting and meditating with us. They're telling us

20:25

what to do because for a lot of us, we've

20:27

never made that intentional friendship or connection

20:30

with our minds. And so I would

20:32

just advise people, as you start to dip

20:34

your toe into mindfulness and meditation,

20:36

this is a vast

20:38

field that it doesn't have to look.

20:41

Certain number of minutes of practice.

20:43

You don't have to be in any kind of pose. You

20:46

can get all the support you need from books and

20:48

apps and community groups. It's really about

20:50

developing this muscle of turning

20:52

inwards and connecting

20:55

with yourself and with the environment

20:57

as things are. And from

20:59

that place of awareness where we meet things

21:01

with curiosity rather than judgment

21:03

or resistance or pushing things away. It's

21:06

a muscle we develop so that we ultimately become

21:08

more in touch with what it means to be human.

21:10

We become more of who we really are

21:13

and we start to get more and more comfortable.

21:16

Letting things be and

21:18

being ourselves rather than always having

21:20

to do and control and make

21:22

things happen. So it's been

21:24

so transformative for me, and

21:26

I see this in my clients all the time.

21:28

I had a couple people who came in

21:30

on Saturday of this past weekend, never

21:33

having done any kind of meditation class before.

21:36

And on Sunday afternoon, they

21:38

were like, I'm starting a daily practice. I'm so

21:40

inspired, this is what I'm gonna do. And

21:42

it's just so cool to see that light bulb

21:44

go off for people with busy

21:46

lives. There's a physician in there whose pager

21:49

was going on the whole time cuz she had so

21:51

many people wanted to get in touch with her. But

21:53

the fact that no matter what

21:55

our life circumstances are, how busy we are.

21:58

We all have those same 1,440

22:00

minutes a day. And what if we could spend just a

22:02

few of them in stillness, just a few

22:04

of them being brave enough and courageous

22:06

enough to turn inwards and get in

22:08

touch with who we are.

22:10

And to that point, so

22:13

somebody, shared with me meditation and my teens,

22:15

I used to literally have anxiety attacks

22:17

through it. I'd be like, you want me to slow down

22:19

enough to stay still? And it's so funny because

22:21

as the years have progressed with me learning

22:23

how to do it I can sit in silence and

22:25

that's the amazing thing is that once you learn

22:27

how to do it, it is so enjoyable

22:30

to do. I love time

22:32

by myself. I used to hate time by myself.

22:34

Cuz again, that same thing, I'm like, oh, I'll

22:36

be thinking and I'll be on next year, next

22:38

week, last year, five years

22:40

ago. And now I can

22:43

really go, oh my gosh, it's so enjoyable

22:45

to be in my own company. And what a

22:47

change from, definitely from where

22:49

I started. But it

22:51

has taken practice, it has taken

22:53

being, intentional in,

22:56

okay, this may feel uncomfortable for now,

22:59

but I wanna get to the point of comfortability. And

23:01

it's a beautiful practice once you

23:04

understand, and I'm still learning all sorts of ways

23:06

to do it, but it's a beautiful practice when you're like,

23:08

okay, I'm not afraid to like be

23:11

by myself now. It's a comfortable thing. Now

23:13

I'm all, I have mom, kids,

23:15

dogs, the whole thing, and I'm always like, oh, when

23:17

can I go? Hence the drive yesterday. When

23:19

can I go have some quiet time for me. I love

23:22

it now but it is a practice. I think anything

23:24

that becomes important to us we practice.

23:27

Definitely. And it's almost like you think

23:29

about, it's going from not

23:32

wanting to spend time by yourself and then extending

23:34

that olive branch and making that first connection

23:36

with your mind and saying, okay, I'm

23:38

gonna spend time with you like a relationship that's important

23:41

to us. We'd probably make time for it. So

23:43

how can we make time for ourselves? I love

23:45

the idea that attention is the highest form

23:47

of love, and how readily

23:51

eager are we to give our attention to everything

23:53

else and everybody else in our lives and

23:55

not give it to ourselves. And that's not

23:57

a sustainable place to be, especially as

24:00

female entrepreneurs. How can we give ourselves

24:02

that attention, that highest form of love,

24:04

so that then we can offer

24:07

that to other people from a place of integrity

24:09

and from deep connection to who we are.

24:11

I have one last question, and I always

24:14

like to ask this, what's the first step

24:16

toward being in balance with mindfulness, mental

24:19

health, and living your purpose? If you feel like you're

24:21

not there right now, cuz

24:23

you're having an off day, or you just have felt

24:25

like that for a while, what's a good first

24:27

step for a female entrepreneur who's struggling

24:29

with this?

24:31

That's a great question, Wendy. I would say

24:33

first step, it seems super cheesy.

24:36

I never like it when people say it to me, but

24:38

take a breath, pause long

24:40

enough, maybe we can even do it together

24:42

right now. Breathe deeply and

24:46

let go of the breath. So

24:50

that one breath can start to shift

24:52

our nervous system from a place of over drive

24:55

into that parasympathetic rest and digest

24:57

place. And it's that place from

24:59

which we can problem solve and we can deeply

25:02

connect with ourselves. So

25:05

take this breath and then start to

25:07

check in with your body and notice is there

25:10

energy, are there places of tightness

25:12

or tension? Even close

25:14

your eyes for a moment and let yourself move

25:16

a little bit intuitively and feel around, how

25:19

am I right now? And

25:21

checking in. Okay. And then

25:23

maybe you start to journal

25:26

or jot down some of the things that are happening

25:28

in your life that are challenging,

25:31

like, this is stressing me

25:33

out, or This is a challenge,

25:35

this is what I'm going through.

25:38

And then think about, okay, what are the things in my life

25:40

that are lighting me up? What do I look forward

25:42

to? What are my favorite parts of the day? What fills

25:44

me up? What gives me more

25:46

energy? And

25:49

see if you can commit to this being a

25:51

daily practice. Like I just talked

25:53

you through it. It took about a minute to breathe, to

25:56

feel your body to write down, like start

25:58

to do an energy inventory. These things. These

26:00

things. And what I've

26:02

been so surprised at with my own mindfulness

26:04

journey, I've always been such a

26:07

action taker, that

26:09

it always surprised me that just bringing awareness

26:12

to something could actually help it. And

26:14

so that's what I wanna encourage people to not

26:16

feel like take this first

26:18

step towards being in balance of okay, I gotta go

26:20

out and do these five things. It's actually just

26:22

about pausing and being aware cuz

26:25

so often we lose connection with ourselves.

26:27

And there's a quote that I love from Thich

26:30

Nhat Hanh. He says that awareness is like the sun.

26:32

When it shines on things they transform.

26:35

So trusting that taking these few minutes a day

26:37

to be aware of your body and your breathe. What

26:40

you have going on, what's contributing

26:42

to your stress? What are you grateful for? And

26:45

then from that place of awareness, every day start

26:47

to see yourself making small shifts

26:49

towards maybe more breath, maybe more mental,

26:52

physical awareness, and

26:54

maybe more moments of shifting into

26:57

living your purpose or making that choice

26:59

to say, wow, my kids

27:01

or my partner is home. This email

27:03

can wait. And I realized this morning,

27:07

being with my kids at dinner is what brings me joy.

27:09

So I feel empowered to go do that right

27:11

now. So for me, it's really

27:13

been a journey of awareness and trusting

27:16

that awareness can make a difference, and that I would, that's

27:18

what I would advise to people is how

27:20

can you put just a few minutes of mindfulness

27:22

into your day so you get in the habit of being

27:24

aware and trusting your own

27:27

inner wisdom and inner guidance,

27:30

and trusting that time will help you start making

27:32

those shifts in your actual day-to-day

27:34

living.

27:35

That's beautiful. And I want to thank you

27:37

so much for coming on the show today.

27:40

It has been a delight talking to you. I

27:42

could talk about this for hours and hours. These

27:45

are some of my favorite topics and I think that

27:47

it's so important if you're listening out there.

27:49

You don't have a self-care routine of

27:52

meditation just try it, for exactly

27:54

a minute. I think that's the thing that people think,

27:56

I have to go sit for 16 hours, or I'm

27:58

not gonna do it right. Or your head may not stop

28:00

racing the first time. That's okay. You could try

28:03

it again. There's no perfect way to do

28:05

this as long as we keep trying. So thank

28:07

you so much. I know you have an offer

28:09

for the audience. I'd love for you to share about

28:11

it now and how people can get in touch

28:13

with you.

28:14

Yeah, thanks so much, Wendy. If you're

28:17

newer to mindfulness and brain training,

28:19

you're inspired to start somewhere. I

28:21

would so encourage you to sign up for our free

28:23

mental wellness library at Mastermind. You'll

28:25

find about 20 practices

28:27

there, including a one minute work break.

28:30

So this is your invitation to start with

28:32

just a minute, a day. A number of practices

28:35

that you can benefit from and

28:37

start to explore how mental wellness

28:39

can support you moment to

28:41

moment. So please check

28:43

that out. We'll put the link in the show notes.

28:45

It's mastermindmeditate.com/freelibrary

28:48

to sign up and get access.

28:51

And then we're at mastermind meditate on

28:53

Facebook, on Instagram, LinkedIn.

28:56

And also my name is Dorsey Standish, so

28:58

you'll find some mindful inspiration

29:01

under those handles as well and

29:04

as you head out into your journey of self-care

29:06

and mindfulness, I just wanna piggyback on

29:09

what Wendy just said, right about who

29:11

knows what you're gonna find when you turn inwards.

29:13

That's always the adventure to go on.

29:15

I will say that some people, when they start practicing,

29:18

they actually think they're getting more distracted,

29:20

but it's really, they're just noticing we have this

29:22

monkey mind One study found that our minds wander

29:25

about 47% of the time. So

29:27

trust that no matter what's happening in your mind

29:29

or your body, you're not alone. Wendy and I

29:31

are here talking about our experience and

29:33

why we do these practices and

29:35

that starting point of awareness and carving

29:38

out that time and attention for yourself

29:40

can be such a game changer in the way that you

29:42

show up in the world. So really wanna encourage

29:44

you to continue your mental

29:46

wellness practice in whatever way supports.

29:50

Thank you so much. What a beautiful show. To

29:52

my audience members, if you love

29:55

what you heard today, please subscribe for

29:57

other self-care guests. Season

29:59

Three will have three shows a week With somebody

30:01

new on. Also, if you love what you

30:03

heard, please write a review. In

30:05

the meantime, I hope you have a wonderfully

30:08

abundant week. Until then.