0:04

Hey, it's Jeffrey Craner. Did you know that we're

0:06

on the road right now? It's your

0:08

final chance to see our newest

0:10

Night Vale live show, The Attic,

0:12

starring Cecil Baldwin, Symphony Sanders, Disparition,

0:14

and me, featuring musical guest Aaron

0:16

McKeown. We are in Toronto tonight,

0:18

April 1st, then St. Louis on

0:21

the 3rd, Louisville on the 4th,

0:23

Columbus, Ohio on the 5th, Pittsburgh

0:25

on the 6th, Jersey City on

0:27

the 7th. Come on, New York

0:29

Tri-Staters. We sold out our Brooklyn

0:31

show back in September, so here's

0:33

your last shot to see us.

0:35

You can get on a PATH

0:37

train, I believe in you. And

0:39

finally, Northampton, Massachusetts on the

0:41

8th. Then we're done touring for

0:43

quite a while, so come

0:45

on out, check it out. Go to

0:47

welcometonightvale.com/live to get your tickets and see

0:49

venues and showtimes. And while you're on

0:51

our website, check out our store. We

0:53

have incredible new t-shirts like The Nervous

0:56

Sheriff by artist Dave Watt and The

0:58

Night Vale Petting Zoo by Jessica Hayworth.

1:00

Not to mention awesome Night

1:02

Vale beach towels. It is almost

1:04

summer, y'all get prepped. Plus, we've

1:07

got jigsaw puzzles, challenge coins, tarot

1:09

decks, and shorts that have a word on

1:11

the butt. And you know that word. That

1:13

word is creepy. And it's on

1:15

the butt. Alright, that's all I got

1:17

for you. And hey, thanks. This

1:22

episode is brought to you by Progressive. Most

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1:56

states and situations. When God

1:58

closes a door, he also locks

2:00

that door tight. No

2:03

one opened that door. Welcome

2:06

to Night Vale. Listeners,

2:34

our son Esteban drew the

2:36

best picture at school. Stunning,

2:39

really. It's a house and

2:41

sunset underneath a tall tree. You

2:44

can see a family of three standing on

2:46

the front porch next to a garden of

2:48

lilacs and roses. A lone

2:50

dove soars in the cloudless

2:52

sky above. You could put

2:54

this thing in a gallery, it's so good. Carlos

2:57

and I don't have time to open an

2:59

artist's studio, though I did see that there's

3:01

one for sale over on Galloway. It

3:04

still has the original sign in

3:06

the window that reads, Nice Nicks, Bail

3:08

Bonds, and Contemporary Paintings. Nice

3:11

Nick was one of Night Vale's

3:13

best painters and Bail Bondsmen up

3:15

until he retired last summer. Now

3:17

he spends his days relaxing by

3:20

the copy machine in the Hall

3:22

of Records, filing reports and returning

3:24

passive-aggressive emails from his supervisor. It's

3:27

so wonderful that now he can dedicate

3:29

all of his time to his lifelong

3:31

hobby. So Esteban's

3:33

drawing won't be in a

3:35

professional gallery, not yet anyway,

3:38

but it was placed dead

3:40

center on our fridge. And

3:43

we even had patrons over to

3:45

view this masterpiece. It was

3:47

my sister, Abby, along with Steve and

3:49

their daughter, Janet. They were

3:52

coming over for a family dinner anyway, but

3:54

in addition to Carlos's delicious

3:57

homemade oatmeal and feta soup,

4:00

They also got a free art show. More

4:03

on the quote gallery opening soon,

4:06

but first, an update on a

4:08

previous story. Many

4:11

of you have contacted us with your concerns

4:13

about the boy we found who likes to

4:15

hold knives and is also a younger version

4:17

of the radio host Kevin from Desert Bluffs

4:20

2. He is

4:22

doing fine, we presume. Well,

4:24

he disappears pretty regularly and this

4:26

is one of those times, but

4:28

he always returns to Tamika Flynn's

4:31

house. She's still fostering him

4:33

until we can figure out a better option. He's

4:35

a wily one, that boy.

4:38

So, let's get to your questions. Harrison

4:41

K. writes, That child seems really

4:43

good at knife. I myself

4:46

am an expert at knife and would love

4:48

to have a chance to show him the

4:50

myriad ways of knife. So

4:52

much knife to learn about in

4:55

my knife school. Thank

4:57

you, Harrison. It was refreshing to

4:59

get your email after reading dozens of others

5:01

that told us we shouldn't let a little

5:03

boy have so many knives. I

5:06

had tons of knives growing up, drawers full, really,

5:08

and I turned out just fine. There

5:11

was that one single incident, but I

5:13

wasn't the one injured. Plus, the charges

5:15

never stuck because by all appearances, it

5:18

was an accident. So, yes,

5:20

I'll pass your information on to Tamika

5:22

and she can reach out to you

5:24

about knife school. Jackie

5:27

F. writes, Cecil, please let Tamika know

5:29

that I'd be happy to help her

5:31

with fostering the boy. I'm really good

5:34

with kids. I'm only 28 years

5:36

old, but I've lived for much

5:38

longer. Haven't we

5:40

all, Jackie? And I

5:43

think Tamika would really appreciate the help. Kareem

5:46

N. writes, Is that portal

5:48

to the other desert still

5:50

open in Carlos's lab, Cecil?

5:53

How big is it? Can you fit

5:55

a few people through or

5:57

is it only little kids sized? Asking

6:00

for a friend. Well,

6:02

Karim, Carlos put up a sign

6:05

that says, Do Not Enter Portal.

6:08

So while the portal occasionally appears,

6:10

it would be impossible for anyone

6:12

to enter it because the sign

6:14

prohibits that. Thank you

6:16

all for reaching out. I'll keep you

6:18

updated as future events warrant. Back

6:22

to our family dinner and Esteban's

6:24

incredible work of art. Everyone

6:27

loved it. They're trying to

6:29

encourage their little nephew slash cousin in

6:31

his blossoming abilities, but I

6:33

think they also recognized it for the

6:36

marvel of theme and concept that it

6:38

truly is. Abby said

6:40

it reminded her of a drawing I did as

6:42

a child. My drawings

6:44

never made it to the fridge nor Abby's

6:46

drawings. Our mom refused to

6:48

look at anything either of us ever drew because

6:51

she did not want to understand

6:53

anything deeper than immediate tangible reality.

6:57

Abby was certain my old drawing was still around.

7:01

So after dinner, we searched through

7:03

some scrapbooks and family albums, and

7:05

we actually found it. When

7:07

I was only six years old, I had drawn

7:09

a picture of a house next to a tree.

7:12

Though mine was different from Esteban's in

7:14

quite a few ways. First,

7:17

I didn't use the same

7:19

colors. Esteban's picture was vibrant,

7:21

while mine was mostly brown.

7:25

Also, while Esteban drew his with

7:27

crayons, I had drawn mine in, I

7:30

think, watercolors? Some

7:32

kind of rust colored liquid. Or

7:34

something. I hope it

7:37

was watercolors anyway. And

7:39

the specific content was different

7:41

in my drawing too. There

7:44

was a line of owls perched on my

7:46

tree, and instead of a flower garden, I

7:48

had drawn a shovel sticking out of a

7:51

pile of dirt. I

7:53

pointed this fact out to Abby, and

7:55

she said, No, they're identical. Look Cecil.

7:58

We went back to the fridge. and there were

8:01

indeed a row of owls on the

8:03

tree as well as a shovel and

8:05

dirt. This seemed

8:07

wrong. I remembered

8:09

Esteban's tree as having a small

8:11

round dome of green leaves, but

8:14

looking at it now, there

8:16

was no visible foliage, only

8:18

craggy brown bark and jagged

8:20

long branches. It was

8:22

so large that it grew out of the frame

8:24

of the paper. Esteban's

8:27

owls looked so

8:29

realistic. I could

8:31

almost hear their familiar calls.

8:33

You know that weird high-pitched

8:35

buzz owls make? Like a

8:38

dentist's drill. Everyone

8:41

else retired to the living room to play

8:43

Scrabble, the board game where you use lettered

8:46

tiles to try to guess the name of

8:48

God? It's always been a

8:50

family favorite, though we hadn't played it

8:52

since the time Janice came so close

8:54

to winning that we all began to

8:56

weep. We stopped her from

8:58

laying down the final letter and put the

9:00

game away for good. That was

9:02

almost 10 years ago. But

9:05

while they were already halfway through

9:07

their game, I was still in

9:09

the kitchen staring at Esteban's drawing.

9:12

Had it changed? Was it

9:14

still changing? More

9:17

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back to my son's perfect drawing.

11:15

As I stood in front of the fridge

11:18

staring at Esteban's art, I

11:20

noticed that the family of three was

11:22

gone. John had

11:24

drawn me, Carlos and himself happily, standing

11:26

on the front porch enjoying a beautiful

11:28

day, but as I looked at it

11:30

now, the many contrasting colors had all

11:33

faded to a dull reddish brown. The

11:35

flowers were gone and now our family

11:38

was gone too. Then

11:40

I noticed that they weren't gone but

11:42

inside the house, or at least two

11:44

of them were. Their

11:46

tiny happy mouths had distorted

11:48

into lopsided maws. And

11:51

the third member of the family, the smallest boy?

11:54

I couldn't see him anywhere. Not

11:56

at first, at least. And then

11:58

I found him, crouched. just behind

12:00

the tree which had grown even larger. And

12:03

the row of owls on the branches had

12:05

become one single owl. I

12:08

knew that owl's face. So familiar.

12:10

I could almost hear the owl

12:12

in my head. It sounded like

12:14

a dripping faucet. I

12:18

looked back down at the figure of Esteban

12:20

and realized he wasn't crouching at

12:22

all. Rather, he was crawling

12:25

into the base of the tree, into

12:27

the earth. I wanted to shout, no

12:29

Esteban, don't do it! But

12:32

I did it. Because I

12:34

understood that, that this family of three

12:36

was not me, Carlos, and Esteban present

12:38

day. It was my

12:40

mother, Abby, and me. Many,

12:43

many years ago. Too

12:46

many. When I was

12:48

the youngest. When

12:50

I was Esteban's age. I

12:54

ran into the living room where the rest of the family

12:56

was still playing Scrabble. Carlos

12:58

had guessed the name Nikolai, which was only worth

13:00

three points, and Steve

13:02

was spelling Jeanette, just as I

13:04

announced my discovery. The

13:07

room went silent. Everyone looked

13:09

confused except for Abby. I

13:11

could see some understanding mixed with

13:13

a touch of annoyance in the

13:15

lines around her eyes. And I

13:17

asked, Abby, do you remember anything

13:20

about our dad? She

13:23

sighed and told me to sit down. I

13:26

knew this wasn't appropriate for game night,

13:28

but it was a story I

13:31

needed to hear. More

13:34

on this coming up, but now

13:36

let's have a look at traffic.

13:38

Housemates, you can't see cars.

13:41

And if you could see

13:43

them, say, with a specialized lens, they

13:46

would appear to move so slowly,

13:48

even on a wide open road

13:50

with no other vehicle around. Motion

13:53

is relative to perspective. Time

13:55

is a dimension, not a metronome.

13:58

Maybe the traffic jam? on Route 800

14:01

or Hubbard Ave or wherever you are

14:03

going is holding you up. Maybe

14:06

you're late to your daughter's basketball game.

14:08

Maybe you feel anxiety or

14:10

claustrophobia or the rawest emotion

14:12

of all, rage. Well,

14:16

just know that there are people

14:18

in the sky who wouldn't be able to

14:20

discern the difference between one mile per hour

14:23

and 70 miles per hour.

14:26

And isn't it more comforting to know

14:28

that it's all relative? You'll

14:31

miss the first quarter of that game, but

14:33

you live for many more

14:36

decades watching her grow and change.

14:38

She'll walk out that door one day and only

14:42

come back a few times a year

14:44

at most, and you

14:46

will experience a disconsolate toy,

14:49

knowing you created a human being, but

14:52

that she is no longer yours. You

14:55

have plenty of time. This

14:58

has been... ...Terrific. Abby

15:02

said that she's told me about our

15:04

dad a million times before, but I

15:06

don't remember her ever telling me the

15:08

story. Abby, there's something

15:10

alive inside Esteban's drawing, and I think

15:12

it's our father, I said. I need

15:14

to know. Please. She stepped.

15:17

Please. Can we change the

15:19

subject? Steve,

15:22

Carlos, and Janice pretended not to hear

15:24

our argument. Janice played

15:26

the name Gustav and was awarded 11

15:28

points and a slight flickering of the stars,

15:31

but instead of being pleased with herself she

15:33

looked concerned. Where's

15:35

Esteban? She used. We

15:38

all froze. I gasped,

15:40

seeing an empty spot at the coffee table

15:42

where Esteban was only moments ago. Then

15:45

we heard Esteban. He was standing at

15:47

the kitchen entrance, proudly holding

15:49

up his drawing. He

15:51

pointed at the tree and asked, I

15:54

drew Grandpa Gershwin? had

16:00

grown so large. It even blocked a

16:02

part of the house from view. I

16:05

could hear the

16:07

sounds of owls somewhere like

16:09

tin cans in a plastic bag.

16:14

Let's go now to the weather.

17:00

And there's a a

17:03

a a a

17:08

a a

17:12

a a

17:16

a a

17:21

a a a

17:26

a a

17:30

a a a

17:38

a a a

17:43

a a a

17:48

a a

17:52

a a

17:56

a a Father

18:33

God, all

20:01

I can't believe it's

20:04

so good. I

20:11

can't believe

20:15

it's so good. I can't believe it's

20:17

so good.

20:25

I can't believe

20:28

it's so good. I

20:32

can't believe it's

20:35

so

20:38

good.

20:45

I can't believe it's

20:47

so good. I

20:50

can't believe it's so

20:52

good. I'm

21:23

pretty good at trivial pursuit, well out,

21:25

well at least, at some of the

21:27

categories like animals that don't exist, what

21:30

Tony Blair smells like, and movies that

21:32

were never made, but I'm

21:35

terrible at the geography questions.

21:38

We played that for a bit. Janice

21:40

talked about how school was going. She's

21:42

working on a sports medicine degree. Steve

21:46

got a lucrative job offer from a competitor,

21:48

but he really likes the pain he's felt

21:50

in his current employer. Steve

21:52

is nothing if not loyal. And

21:54

Abby, well, Abby's

21:58

Abby. We love each other. but

22:01

I don't know if we like each other. Still,

22:04

when Steve came along, then later

22:06

Janice, then Carlos, then now Esteban,

22:08

it's not an easier between Abby

22:11

and me. We have more

22:13

than each other on our minds when it

22:15

comes to family. Carlos

22:18

and I ended up beating Steve, Abby, and

22:20

Janice in trivial pursuit. Even

22:22

better, we wanted on a geography question

22:24

that I got correct. The

22:27

question was, if there was a

22:29

continent called Blurp, how many

22:31

countries would it have? I said

22:33

19 without even thinking, and I was spot on.

22:36

Lucky guess. We hugged

22:39

Steve, Abby, and Janice goodbye, and

22:41

carried our sleeping Esteban up to

22:43

bed. I told Carlos I wanted

22:45

to stay up a bit, and he said goodnight and gave

22:47

me a kiss. I

22:49

dug through our scrapbooks and

22:52

albums again, looking for any

22:54

photo or letter or card,

22:56

anything, about our dad. It

22:59

felt like a full hour of scouring through

23:01

these old books before I heard Carlos

23:03

say, Cecil, are you still

23:05

up? I turned around and

23:07

saw that it was dawn. Carlos

23:09

was in the kitchen making a salmon and blueberry

23:11

smoothie to start the work day. I

23:14

made myself some coffee and toast. As

23:17

I did, I had my own Esteban's drawing

23:19

once again. In the morning

23:21

light, I saw the color had returned, as

23:23

had the flowers and the dove and the

23:26

happy family of three on the porch. Carlos

23:29

put his chin on my shoulder from behind and

23:31

said, he's going to be a

23:33

hand to God artist one day, isn't he?

23:36

Look at that composition. I

23:38

see something new every time I look

23:40

at it. I said, yeah,

23:42

me too. It wasn't a

23:45

pleasant tone, impatient, annoyed.

23:48

Carlos asked, are you okay, hon? Not

23:51

really, I replied. I thought Abby was finally

23:53

going to tell me the story of my

23:55

dad. She said she would, but

23:58

like always, she changed. the subject of

24:00

my confusion, she said to me. Carlos

24:05

stared into my eyes for several silent seconds,

24:08

a concerned but compassionate stare. Finally,

24:12

he said, Oh,

24:14

babe, she did. We

24:18

stopped and scrabbled for like 30 minutes to

24:20

hear her story. To be

24:22

honest, I've heard her tell it so many times

24:24

to you, it's growing a bit dull. Do

24:27

you not remember? I

24:32

did not. The

24:35

sunrise cast long golden stripes

24:38

across the fridge, and

24:40

I thought, and I thought,

24:43

and I thought. I

24:46

could hear owls in the

24:48

crisp morning air, like a

24:50

flowerpot shattering. Stay

24:54

tuned next for the 200 greatest ad

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of Like That Presents. It is

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written by Just As Think Jeffrey

26:39

Trainer and Bree Williams and produced

26:41

by Desperation. The voice of Night

26:44

Vale is Cecil Baldwin. Original music

26:46

by Disperse An Hour that can

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be found at This for isn't

26:51

That Band camp.com This episode where

26:53

there was all the Way Down

26:56

by Palimony find out more at

26:58

facebook.com/palimony Music, comments, questions, email and

27:00

sat in So. At Welcome to

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Night vale.com or follow us on Instagram

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and Tumbler at Night Fell official. We

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now have a Tick Tock at Night

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Vale official as well. If you are

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all about that vertical video life most

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importantly, check out Welcome to Night vale.com

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where we have a twice monthly mailing

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list at is the best way to

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keep up to date directly from us

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to Heal. It's time that we made

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the Internet about people talking directly to

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people Again, you can learn about things

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Tour of North America is starting today.

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If you live in Toronto, the Midwest,

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Where the Northeast? Look into that

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before it's too late to days.

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proverb. You can lead

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a horse to water, but don't be

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surprised when that horse splits in half

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and to federal agents pop out and

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arrest. you for trespassing images ah

27:51

the factory Hello,

28:19

iPod broadcast listeners. My name is

28:21

Meg, and I am one of

28:23

the esteemed tri-hosts of the beloved

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iBroad Good Morning Night Fail. I,

28:28

along with my hilarious friends,

28:30

fellow Night Vale actors, passionate

28:33

eaters, and soft-hitting journalists, Symphony

28:35

Sanders and Hal Ludlin, are now

28:37

over 100 episodes into

28:40

our deep-dive recap show of

28:42

Welcome to Night Fail. We've tackled

28:45

topics like soft-meat crown head cannons,

28:47

Cecil's fashion, and whether Steve Scones

28:49

were really all that terrible, plus

28:51

behind-the-scenes stories from the Night Fail

28:54

creative family. And we've

28:56

heard from listeners like you about

28:58

queer representation, Night Vale named pets,

29:01

major theories, minor questions, and of

29:03

course, best and worst practices for

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alternative spa therapy services.

29:10

If you know, you know. Check out Good

29:12

Morning Night Fail every other Thursday, wherever

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you get your iBrods, iCasts,

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Pod Brods, and Podcasts.

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I think I like Pod Brods the best. I'm

29:22

a real Pod Brod myself. I'm

29:26

a real Pod Brod myself.