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is. wait, wait, don't tell

0:30

me the Npr news quiz

0:32

Bill Curtis his voice maybe

0:34

heavenly but get ready for

0:37

hell. Hell. In Ha.

0:47

Studebaker. Theater at a Fine

0:49

Arts Building in Chicago. Illinois Peter

0:51

Sagan Okay, how? How?

0:56

Thank you everybody. We have a great

0:58

year for you lined up today. Later already

1:01

we'll be talking to philosopher and gender theorists

1:03

to Judith Butler. But first, I want to

1:05

thank Hell in Hong for filling in for

1:08

Bill. Curtis is very exciting for us now.

1:10

Helen, Yeah, we've been a panelist with us

1:12

yet for a while, but today you been

1:14

promoted to judge and scorekeeper. Which means among

1:17

other things that today you do not have

1:19

to suck up to me. And the question

1:21

is how. Does. That feel. Why didn't you

1:23

tell him this sooner? I want my blood

1:25

plasma back. Peter. I'm

1:28

sorry I've used it out. So you out

1:30

there are also free to say anything you

1:32

like to me today. But first you have

1:34

to call us to play or game is

1:36

the number is one Aaa Wait Wait that's

1:38

one. Eight Eight Eight Nine Two Four Eight

1:40

Nine Two four How your own Wait? Wait,

1:42

don't tell me. I this is al

1:44

it from Hoboken, New Jersey Hoboken,

1:48

I'm sorry. I am of an age where

1:50

when somebody says Hoboken I have to say

1:53

it like Bugs Bunny Hoboken. Would

1:56

do What do you do for fun? Hoboken Being a

1:58

rocking place. I like

2:00

to go for big walks on

2:02

the waterfront, hang out, I

2:04

guess. All right, that's fine. That's how we roll

2:06

in New Jersey. Alex,

2:09

welcome to our show. Let me introduce you

2:11

to our panel this week first. He's a comedian

2:13

you can see at the Addison Improv in Dallas,

2:15

and whose tour dates can all be found at

2:17

mozjobrani.com. It's mozjobrani.

2:20

Hi, Alex. Hi.

2:23

Next, who's a contributor to CDS Sunday

2:25

Morning and host of the podcast Health

2:27

Matters, it's Faith Salie. Hey, Alex. Hi.

2:32

And a writer whose sub-stack is take another little

2:34

piece of my heart now. It's

2:36

Roy Blunt Jr. So,

2:40

Alex, welcome to the show. You're going to play Who's

2:42

Helen this time. Helen Hong, filling in for Bill, is

2:44

going to read you three quotations from this week's news.

2:47

If you can correctly identify or explain, just two of

2:50

them, you will win our prize. Any voice from our

2:52

show, you might choose on your voicemail. You ready to

2:54

go? I am ready. All

2:56

right, Alex. So, let's go. Here is your

2:58

first quote. Women are not

3:00

paid their fair share. That

3:03

was girl boss president Joe Biden

3:05

joining in the growing chorus of

3:07

people criticizing the

3:11

low salaries that the athletes

3:14

in what league are

3:16

being paid. The WNBA? Yes,

3:18

the WNBA. This

3:22

week was the WNBA draft. Caitlin

3:24

Clark, the biggest star

3:27

in all

3:29

of basketball, was drafted number one in

3:31

the WNBA draft and will make in

3:33

her rookie year for the Indiana fever,

3:36

brace yourself, $75,000, which is equal to

3:42

the amount you could steal from the

3:44

lowest paid player in the NBA without

3:46

him noticing. And

3:48

that, by the way, that $75,000, that is the

3:50

top salary the other players make even less. This

3:53

is why when an WNBA game

3:55

is all tied up, it's really exciting, you

3:57

hear the players asking, so do

3:59

we get... overtime for

4:01

overtime but

4:04

she's got an endorsement deal. She does a

4:06

little bit. You know, give

4:08

women some shoes. They're all right. Oh,

4:12

wow. I

4:14

don't know where to put my

4:16

shoe right now. 75,000.

4:19

She didn't have to go to all those practice. She could

4:22

have been an accountant or something. I mean, what did they

4:24

get? Like an Uber job on the side or something? You

4:26

know what I'm saying? Yeah, I know. Yeah. But for some

4:28

of them, it's still a lot of money. They're going

4:30

to be professional athletes. They're like, whoa,

4:32

I can finally buy my mom a

4:34

house season one DVD. I

4:40

think that as

4:42

long as they can jump and

4:44

as long as they can shoot and

4:46

as long as they can dribble, they're

4:48

okay by me. WNBA

4:52

has its new tagline. That's

4:56

the commercial. You

4:59

know, there's a seven year old girl at

5:02

home listening to you say that somewhere. That's

5:04

like, now I know. It's

5:06

not a good thing when you like, feel like you got to start

5:08

a GoFundMe for the player. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. All right.

5:11

Your next quote, Alex, your next

5:13

quote is one of many potential

5:16

jurors who entered a courtroom for a big

5:18

trial in New York that finally started this

5:20

week. Oh, he looks exactly

5:22

like he does on TV. That

5:24

person was not selected for the jury. But

5:27

who were they talking about? Was

5:30

that the Donald Trump? It would

5:32

be Donald Trump. This

5:34

week, this

5:36

week saw the beginning of Donald Trump's

5:38

first criminal trial. Now, if you missed

5:40

it, don't worry. There will be more. So

5:45

this week was all jury selection, which was difficult

5:47

because they needed to find 12 people

5:49

who can be neutral about Donald

5:51

Trump. Difficult.

5:53

Eventually, they got six people who just woke

5:55

up from comas, five

5:58

bootleg Elmos. they grabbed some

6:01

Times Square and

6:03

this one guy who just quit NPR

6:05

and says he's the only person

6:10

who he knows who is inspired. Good

6:14

that we could put him right to work. I'm glad he's got,

6:16

well he's free time now. You know, since

6:19

there's no TV allowed in the courtroom, if

6:21

you wanted any updates you just had to

6:23

read like reporters, they were updating

6:25

every minute. Every hour. And it felt like

6:28

someone being in labor and like when they

6:30

would sign a juror, it's a girl,

6:32

it's like how it's a 42 year old

6:34

dental hygienist. Congratulations.

6:38

And Trump was there because you have

6:40

to be there and well

6:42

he was sort of there because he kept falling asleep. And

6:46

while it is embarrassing I guess for him to

6:49

have fallen asleep in the middle of his own

6:51

criminal trial, even the haters have to admit he

6:53

looked so beautiful. You

6:55

know, he complained about the

6:58

temperature in the courtroom that he was

7:00

freezing. He actually asked to just turn

7:02

the temperature up one degree and he

7:04

was still falling asleep freezing. Did he

7:06

ask for an Afghan or something? I

7:09

need a sweater. No, no he would not

7:11

ask for an Afghan. An Afghan?

7:14

No, no, no, no. He'd ask for a

7:16

rug from one of the good countries. Come

7:18

on. He doesn't even want

7:20

Kashmir. No, no. Somebody's

7:24

got to have a pool going

7:26

for the first drool. You're

7:30

saying there'll be a drool pool. Well. All

7:34

right. Alex, here is your

7:37

last quote. Choose three

7:39

shrimp to start and when you're

7:41

ready we'll bring more. That was

7:43

a promotion for an endless

7:46

shrimp deal that was so successful

7:48

it apparently bankrupted the

7:50

restaurant chain that offered it. What's

7:52

the restaurant? Red

7:55

Lobster. Yes it is. Red Lobster.

7:57

The Red Lobster chain is considering five... after

8:02

losing 11 million dollars because seriously

8:04

all of you ate too many

8:06

shrimps. You know what?

8:08

They should have held back. They should

8:10

have been more shellfish. Oh,

8:14

wow. Sorry. I am sorry.

8:18

You know what happened? They got

8:20

Rob stirred. I

8:23

support you. I

8:27

just want to say, Roy, I appreciate your

8:30

dignified silence. Here's

8:33

what happened. The company had

8:35

lost a lot of money and they needed to get more

8:37

customers in the door. So they started this endless shrimp deal

8:40

and it worked too well. It worked so well. They

8:43

raised the price and we still ate so

8:45

many shrimp that had to change the name

8:47

to the endless mercury poisoning deal. This

8:51

is absolutely true that they

8:53

committed to endless shrimp. You could go to

8:56

Red Lobster and not stop eating shrimp. I

8:59

wonder what the record is. Somebody must have eaten. How

9:03

many shrimp do you think I could eat 30, 40

9:05

shrimp? Really? Have

9:08

you counted, Roy? Does anybody

9:10

want to bid over that? This

9:12

is like a shrimp bridge. Or

9:15

they should have had a shrimp bartender who's like, I'm sorry,

9:17

I'm going to have to cut you off. Well,

9:19

they couldn't. That was against the rules. So they

9:21

just trained their serving staff to just silently

9:24

judge people. Can I have some more

9:26

shrimp? Really. Or

9:29

what you got to do, again, like you're right,

9:31

you got to discourage them somehow. So if you

9:33

see they're eating too much shrimp, you get one

9:35

of your employees that pretends to be a customer

9:38

just starts choking on the shrimp. And

9:40

then the Heimlich shrimp comes out, people are like, I've

9:42

had enough shrimp and they leave. Or

9:45

you take them and leave

9:48

the head on and write a little

9:50

smiling face. And

9:54

little tears come to that eye. I'll

9:57

have three more, but that's all. We're

10:01

not endless, we end! All

10:06

right, Helen, how did Alex do on

10:08

her quiz? Alex, you don't have to

10:10

take a long walk, you can dance on

10:12

the pier in Hoboken because you got all

10:14

three right! Yeah, Alex.

10:16

Thank you so much

10:18

for playing and thank

10:20

you for the good work you did.

10:23

Thank you. You're

10:25

so ugly! You

10:29

should go over the house! All

10:32

right, panel, some questions now for you from the

10:34

week's news. Faith, next month a

10:36

new airline, just for whom, will make

10:38

its initial flights? Well,

10:41

because you said whom, I think for

10:43

the grammatically punctilious. Just for

10:45

whom? Is it for children? Well,

10:53

it is for something that some very,

10:56

very, very, I'll just

10:58

say, interesting people think of as their children. Oh

11:01

my gosh, fur babies, fur animals?

11:03

Fur animals? Yes, I

11:06

don't have a fur baby, so I

11:08

call my children skin dogs. The

11:14

entry is the new airline for dogs. Bark

11:19

Air is the first ever airline for

11:21

dogs and man, they'd better be careful,

11:24

really, with the safety. Don't fly Boeing,

11:26

nobody wants to hear today. Shortly

11:29

after takeoff, there was a serious malfunction

11:31

and the plane was rerouted to a

11:33

farm upstate. It

11:37

crossed over the Rainbow Bridge. It

11:39

did, it did. There are

11:41

blankets on the flight and pillows,

11:43

scented with dog pheromones to make

11:45

dogs happy, special snacks, even a

11:48

chicken broth, quote, dog champagne.

11:50

But the thing that the dogs love

11:52

best, according to the initial flights, is

11:54

that their humans have to ride in

11:56

a freezing crate in the cargo

11:58

home. I'm

12:00

thinking that the

12:03

Mile High Club on this plane

12:05

is not in the

12:07

bathroom but is just everywhere.

12:09

Will you fly away with me?

12:15

I can't let you win this.

12:21

Oh girl. We're building

12:23

up our panel and find a surprising use for

12:25

a common product. It's our Bluff the Listener Game

12:27

called 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY. We'll be back

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in a minute with more on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.

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14:29

I'm Helen

14:31

Hahn filling

14:36

in for Bill Curtis. We're playing

14:38

this week with Roy Blunt Jr.,

14:40

Faith Salien, Maude Gibrani, and here

14:43

again is your host at the

14:45

Studio Baking Theater in Chicago, Illinois,

14:47

Peter Sager. Thank

14:50

you, Helen. Thank

14:53

you so much, everybody. Right

14:55

now it is time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell

14:57

Me Bluff the Listener Game Call, 1-888-Wait to Play

15:00

Our Game in the Air, or you can check

15:02

out the pinned post on our Instagram page that's

15:04

at Wait, Wait, and B-R. You'll find all the

15:06

info there. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't

15:08

Tell Me. Hi, my name's

15:10

Addison and I'm calling from Cincinnati,

15:13

Ohio. Addison from Cincinnati? Yes. What

15:18

do you do there? I

15:20

am a medical student. I see.

15:23

Okay, what kind of doctor do you hope to be?

15:25

I hope an ophthalmologist.

15:27

You hope an ophthalmologist. My

15:30

Korean mother would be so proud of you.

15:32

Helen might propose marriage. Well, welcome

15:34

to the show, Addison. You're going

15:36

to play our game in which

15:38

you have to tell truth from

15:40

fiction. What is the topic, Helen?

15:44

Use not as directed. So

15:46

we all know things you can pick up at

15:48

the local drugstore can be used off-label.

15:50

Osempic, for example, a diabetes

15:52

drug can be used for weight loss. Toilet paper

15:55

can be used to decorate your

15:57

vice-principal's house. This week we heard about this. something

16:00

being used outside its intended purpose. Our panelists are going

16:02

to tell you about it. Pick the real one and

16:04

you'll win the waiter of your choice on your voicemail.

16:06

Are you ready to play? Of course.

16:09

All right. Well then let's first hear

16:11

from Faith Salley. When

16:14

you Penn Professor Murray Goldring entered

16:16

his accounting classroom to give midterms

16:18

last month, he was greeted by

16:20

a minty fresh odor and dozens

16:22

of undergrad foreheads covered in white

16:24

goop. His students had

16:26

taken the toothpaste panic, a

16:29

tick-tock phrase that prescribes a pouring

16:31

toothpaste as close to your brain

16:33

as possible to stimulate focus. According

16:37

to believers, fluoride applied to

16:39

the skin cannot only cure

16:41

zits, but when absorbed in

16:43

large amounts, it also mimics

16:45

the psychotropic effects of Adderall

16:47

for about 90 minutes. And

16:50

while tick-tock says it's foolproof, Dr.

16:52

Benjamin Alexander, a real doctor, dismisses

16:54

the trend as nonsense. There

16:57

is still only one way to get the

16:59

effects of Adderall, by buying it from your

17:01

roommate. I mean, with a

17:04

prescription. Still, Professor Goldring

17:06

has seen an improvement in class performance

17:08

and smell. I don't care

17:10

if it's a placebo, he says. As we

17:12

say in accounting, if the numbers add up

17:14

and it's not illegal, do it. Kids

17:18

using toothpaste as a kind of Adderall

17:21

substitute by smearing it on their

17:23

foreheads, your next off-label fable comes

17:25

from Roy Blunt Jr. Why

17:29

has Pepto-Bismol been

17:31

disappearing from drugstore shelves around

17:34

the country? One

17:36

theory is simply pinkness,

17:40

but not just any pink, deep,

17:43

resonant, authoritative pink. And

17:46

the most iconic pink

17:48

readily available today is

17:50

Pepto. It

17:53

doesn't just look really, really

17:55

pink, it tastes really, really pink.

18:00

Are people actually hoarding Pepto?

18:03

A viral rumor that Procter

18:05

& Gamble was planning to

18:07

change the color didn't help.

18:09

The company this week announced

18:11

a firm commitment Pepto-Bismol will

18:13

always be pink. Unfortunately

18:17

the announcement came too late for

18:19

Easter week. It

18:22

seems that the best thing for

18:24

colorizing stuffed bunnies and

18:26

hard boiled eggs is

18:28

a good pink soap in

18:30

Pepto-Bismol. Pepto-Bismol

18:33

being taken to dye things pink

18:35

because people just love the pink.

18:43

Your last story of an undirected use comes

18:45

from Maz Jobrani. Did

18:47

you know the female version of a shepherd

18:49

is a shepherdess? Neither did I. But

18:52

that didn't stop English shepherdess Sam

18:54

Brice who is a member of

18:56

the Facebook group Ladies Who Lamb

18:58

from discovering the perfect way to calm

19:01

down her aggressive lambs. Axe

19:03

body spray. And

19:06

it's not just any flavor of Axe, you have

19:08

to buy the strongest flavor, Axe Africa.

19:12

When sprayed on the rams, Axe

19:14

Africa masks the hormones that get

19:16

the rams butting heads. So

19:19

rather than fighting like a couple of meat

19:21

heads outside a bar, the rams calm the

19:23

hell down and become peaceful. 43

19:25

year old shepherd Toby Williams of New Zealand

19:28

explains, animals can see each other

19:30

but smell is what lets them know it's one

19:32

of their friends. It's triggering rams

19:34

to say, this is my mate, I don't need

19:36

to fight him. Send

19:42

your letters to Peter Segal. Axe

19:45

Africa is the most popular fragrance in the

19:47

UK. So if you ever catch a whiff,

19:50

there might be a ram nearby, a friendly

19:52

ram. So spray some on yourself and snuggle

19:54

with the little guy. Results

19:56

not guaranteed by the legal team at WaitWaitDon'tTellMe. All

20:00

right. Somebody

20:04

somewhere is using something from

20:07

the drugstore down in the corner to do something

20:10

not usually recommended. Is it from Faith

20:12

Salley? College kids are using toothpaste to

20:14

smear on their forehead to help with

20:17

their focus. From Roy Blunt Jr.,

20:19

people are taking Pepto-Bismol to turn everything in

20:21

their life pink. From

20:23

Maz Joe Brani, shepherds in

20:25

the UK are using Axe

20:28

Body Spray, specifically Axe Africa,

20:30

to calm down the angry

20:32

Rams. Which of these is a real

20:34

story of an off-label use we found in the

20:36

news? As much as

20:38

I would want number one to be true

20:41

for my exams, just flatten it on there.

20:45

Number three just sounds great. You're going to

20:47

go for Maz's story of the Axe Body

20:49

Spray. All right. Well,

20:52

we spoke actually to the reporter who

20:54

broke this important story. When

20:57

it comes to the Rams, it seems like

20:59

Axe Africa is the way to go, and

21:01

that's just because of the boom, the thomas of the

21:03

deer there. That

21:05

was Fabio Cholgi, a consumer goods

21:07

reporter for the Wall Street Journal,

21:10

talking about Axe's Body Spray's alternate

21:12

use. Congratulations, Addison. You got it

21:14

right. Thank

21:16

you so much. You have won our

21:18

prize, and a point from Maz Joe Brani

21:20

just for telling the truth. Thank you so much, Addison. Congratulations,

21:24

Addison. Take care. Thank you so much. And

21:37

now the game we call Not My Job. In 1990, Professor

21:40

Judith Butler published their seminal work, Gender

21:43

Trouble, which many credit with creating the

21:45

modern field of gender studies, and

21:47

proof that you can make a living as

21:50

a philosophy major. Professor Butler has

21:52

now published Who's Afraid of Gender, a guide to

21:54

what both gender is, and despite what you might

21:56

have heard, is not. Professor

21:58

Judith Butler, welcome to... wait, wait, don't call me.

22:02

What's the... So

22:04

first things first. I want to get

22:06

your origin story, if you will. So

22:09

I've read that you were sent to

22:11

your first philosophy class as a punishment

22:13

by your Hebrew school teacher. Is that right?

22:17

I think that

22:19

I had a fight

22:21

with my rabbi in

22:24

the synagogue because

22:26

I made a face during

22:28

a film that was

22:30

very serious and he didn't

22:32

understand that I was having a struggle

22:35

with a classmate. So

22:37

he said, well, I'm not putting you back into the

22:40

classroom. What do you want to do? All you

22:42

need is tutorial. So I gave him three

22:44

philosophical books that I wanted to read and he

22:46

lit up and was super happy. We

22:49

read those books together and we stayed friends

22:51

until for the rest of his life. So

22:54

I was pretty lucky in that way. How old were you when

22:56

this happened? I

22:58

think I was about 14 or 13. And

23:00

what were the books, may I ask? Really?

23:02

You want to know? Sure. Okay,

23:05

so Martin Buber, I Am Thou,

23:08

Spinoza's Ethics, and

23:11

then a book on German Idealism.

23:13

Oh yeah, that was Sweet Valley

23:15

High when I was... So

23:22

yeah, so you started slow. Were

23:26

you aware that that was not the typical interest

23:29

of a 13, 14 year old at that time?

23:33

Well, I had other interests as well.

23:35

I was listening to AM radio at

23:37

night and riding my bike and having

23:39

fun with friends. So it

23:41

wasn't like a total nerd. I was just, you

23:43

know, when I was nerdy, I was very nerdy.

23:46

Yeah. You rode your bike

23:48

over to your friend's house like, hey guys, let's

23:50

talk about Spinoza. You

23:54

have said, and I love this, that if

23:56

you were not a philosopher, you would be

23:58

a clown. Yeah, and

24:01

so many of them. I think he's

24:03

getting a little late for that. Yeah, a little no, trust me. Like

24:05

a legit clown with the nose and the big shoes?

24:09

Yeah, or maybe just causing mischief

24:11

wherever I go. Yeah, something like that. Really? Did

24:13

you have that streak at the youngster that you

24:16

were mistreating? I did have that streak. I

24:18

think that when I

24:20

wasn't being very

24:22

serious, I was making trouble in school

24:25

and making a lot of jokes. So those

24:27

seem to be my two modalities. Do you ever

24:29

squirt someone in the face with a flower? That

24:34

is such a good question. Don't

24:37

show me up Helen. You're really thinking.

24:40

Answer it like in a philosophical way.

24:42

Yeah. The truth is, I think

24:44

I sprayed my words, you know, like I have these

24:46

words and I just sprayed them everywhere. Do

24:49

you consider, are you one of those

24:51

professors who tries to get laughs from

24:53

your students in your lectures? Only

24:56

when things get too serious. Yeah. And

24:59

how often does that happen? Professor Balboa.

25:02

Every 20 minutes. Yes, exactly.

25:04

That's about to say, yes. My

25:07

and I think, and again, correct me if

25:09

I'm wrong, but you were credited with this

25:11

notion that gender is performative. Gender

25:13

isn't something inherent to us, like you're not

25:15

born of this or born in that way,

25:17

but it's something that we choose to perform

25:20

in the world, right? Putting on a suit

25:22

is performing your gender. Driving

25:24

a truck is performing your gender. Putting

25:26

on truck nuts is over-performing.

25:30

Agenda, right? I

25:34

love my truck nuts. Yeah, for sure. I

25:36

mean, you know, I remember being a kid

25:38

and my mother would say things like, oh,

25:40

I have to go put my face on

25:42

before I can see anybody in public. And

25:44

I was really confused by that. Well, you

25:46

have to put your face on. I thought

25:48

you already had a face. Did

25:51

you wear a dress when you were a child? I

25:54

think I had to wear a

25:57

dress until about fourth grade. And

26:00

then I rebelled and I have not

26:02

worn one's pants. Yes. Yes.

26:05

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

26:08

Did your parents give you grief? Because this was,

26:10

this was, Yes they did.

26:12

Yes they did. This was less enlightened time.

26:15

It was a life for death struggle, yeah. Right.

26:18

For sure. And did you come out of

26:20

that struggle both wearing pants and determined to

26:22

destroy the patriarchy? Yes. Yes.

26:25

Look, I wanted to be the patriarch.

26:27

Yes. Yes. You

26:33

are, I will say this, I

26:36

think this is true. You

26:38

are, for a philosopher, pretty

26:40

famous. Did you catch your

26:42

cameo in the white lotus? Certainly

26:45

did. Oh yeah. I

26:48

mean, I hope, rather

26:50

than somebody is telling you about it, that you

26:52

were, you know, doing the rest of it does

26:54

like hanging out in sweats with your partner at

26:56

home watching the white lotus and

26:59

you noticed Sydney Sweeney reading your book.

27:02

Well, not all lesbians wear sweats

27:04

as you know. Ha ha ha.

27:10

Heater. I

27:14

did watch all of white lotus, of

27:16

course. Really? And I just

27:18

hope this happened, that you were just watching it

27:20

because it was a good show and you enjoyed

27:23

good television show like the rest of us. Yeah,

27:25

I watched a lot of television. Did

27:27

you arrive at that scene where Sydney Sweeney, who is

27:29

now very famous, of course, was sitting there reading your

27:32

book, By the Pool, as a relaxation vacation

27:34

reading and did you free that? Yeah, I

27:36

was told about it in advance and

27:38

there it was. But I wondered about

27:41

that scene because, you know, she's kind

27:43

of mean and she's kind of brainy

27:45

and maybe I thought, oh,

27:48

maybe this is like what happens to your kid

27:50

when you send them to some expensive

27:52

East Coast school like the East

27:55

Coast. And they read

27:57

Judith's father and they come out like killers

27:59

or something. And

28:02

since you don't wear sweats, you're watching them wearing

28:04

tweed suits, I assume. I wear

28:06

sweats. Does that make me a lesbian? Yes.

28:09

Yes, it does. It's all performative,

28:11

Mom. It's whatever you want. Well,

28:14

Professor Butler, we are delighted to talk to

28:16

you, and we have asked you here to

28:18

play a game that this time we're calling...

28:20

Who is not afraid of that? So

28:23

your new book is called Who's Afraid of Gender? We

28:25

thought we'd ask you three questions about something that's

28:28

supposed to be really scary, horror

28:30

movies. Answer two or

28:32

three questions correctly, and you'll win our prize. One

28:34

of our listeners, the voice of any of us,

28:37

they might choose. Helen, who is Professor Judith Butler

28:39

playing for? Jay Collins of

28:41

Memphis, Tennessee. Here is your

28:43

first question. The government of

28:45

China does not care for

28:48

horror films, so they've instituted what policy?

28:50

A, each horror movie

28:52

has to be watched by a special

28:54

minister of fear who decides

28:56

if it's too scary to release. B,

28:59

the cinema has to put up a poster with a complete

29:01

synopsis of the movie outside the theater,

29:03

including all the jump scares. Or C,

29:06

every horror movie with a supernatural angle has to

29:08

end with a scene in which one of the

29:10

characters wakes up and realizes it was all a

29:12

dream. I

29:15

guess I would say the third. You

29:22

are extraordinarily intelligent. That is correct. That

29:25

is the right one. The

29:28

Chinese people apparently

29:30

love horror movies as much as anybody else, but the

29:32

government does not. All right, next

29:34

question. One of

29:36

the horror movies claimed as the worst

29:38

of all time is Jaws 4,

29:41

The Revenge, a 1987 sequel

29:43

to the famous 1974 original.

29:51

Somewhat surprisingly, that movie starred genuine

29:53

movie star Michael Caine, who

29:56

later said what about

29:58

his experience with that movie? quote

30:01

cocaine makes you do strange things but

30:04

happily it also makes it hard to remember them. B,

30:07

quote I have never seen it but by all

30:10

accounts it is terrible however I have

30:12

seen the house that it built and

30:14

it is terrific. Or

30:17

C, quote I think this improves on

30:19

the original because the original had a

30:21

distinct lack of me. I'm

30:27

going to say the second. That

30:29

is correct. Wow. You

30:35

truly have an eclectic mind professor. All right let's

30:37

see if we can get this last one. I'm

30:39

very impressed. Time magazine

30:41

published their list once of the

30:43

top 25 horror movies of all

30:46

time and one pic on this

30:48

list stood out. What was it?

30:51

A, Jaws 4, The Revenge. B,

30:55

Disney's Bambi. Or

30:58

C, a home video of the author's middle

31:00

school prom. I

31:03

guess it

31:07

has to be Bambi. It

31:09

is Bambi. Wow.

31:12

Bambi is the scariest damn movie I ever

31:15

saw. The mother died. Yeah there you go.

31:17

More than that I need not say. Well

31:19

the author has disagreed with you. Time said

31:21

Bambi has quote primal shocks that still haunt

31:23

people who saw it 65 years ago. Specifically

31:25

that part where Bambi hunts down all those

31:27

kids with a machete and a hockey man.

31:32

Helen how did Professor Judith Butler doing

31:34

our quiz? They deserve a flower

31:37

with all the water spraying out of

31:39

it because they got all three right.

31:41

Congratulations. Dr.

31:45

Judith Butler is a philosopher professor and

31:47

author of their new book Who's Afraid

31:49

of Gender is out now. Professor Butler

31:51

thank you so much for joining us.

31:53

Take care. Bye bye. Thank

31:56

you so much. Bye.

32:02

In just a minute, Helen gets set up with

32:04

our silly games and the listener at Limerick Challenge

32:06

call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us on the air. We'll

32:08

be back in a minute with more Wait, Wait,

32:10

Don't Tell Me from NPO. This

32:17

message comes from NPO. Spencer, better help. What's

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capitalone.com/commercial, a member FDIC. From NPR

33:19

in WBEZ Chicago,

33:21

this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Wait,

33:25

don't tell me the NPR news

33:27

quiz. I'm Helen Hellung

33:30

in for Bill Curtis. We're

33:34

playing this week with Faith Bailey, Roy

33:36

Blunt Jr. and Maud Jabrani. And

33:39

here again is your host at the

33:41

Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter

33:44

Snagle. Thank you, Helen. Thank

33:49

you so much. It

33:51

doesn't mean Helen buys limericks with nickels

33:53

and rhymes in our Listener Limerick Challenge.

33:56

If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-Wait, Wait. That's

33:58

1-888-924-892. But

34:01

right now, panel, some more questions for

34:03

you from the week's news. Roy,

34:05

in a sign of thanks to come from major

34:07

cities around the world, citizens of Bogota, Colombia

34:10

have been advised to do what to

34:12

cope with the severe water shortage there.

34:15

Suck it up. No,

34:17

that's how they got the shortage. Everyone who was sucking up the

34:19

water. Stay

34:21

indoors, don't sweat. No,

34:26

actually, interestingly enough, one of

34:28

the advices of the mayor was if you're not leaving the house,

34:30

you don't have to bathe, just stay inside and

34:32

don't bathe. Who knew you could

34:34

help the climate by just being depressed? But

34:38

if you do bathe, he

34:40

suggests that people do what? Bathe with

34:43

sand. Bathe

34:47

with tequila. No,

34:52

it's more of a cooperative thing. It's more of

34:54

a bathe each other. Everybody get in the tub.

34:57

More or less, you shower together. Shower too fast.

35:00

Is his suggestion. Shower

35:02

as a couple, said the mayor of Bogota,

35:04

referring to that sexy thing you do where

35:07

one of you gets cold. Water

35:12

levels in that country are in fact dangerously low, and it

35:14

is great to hear a mayor taking action,

35:16

but why did he add, and send pics? If

35:22

you rearrange the letters of Bogota just

35:25

a little bit, I think

35:28

you get BO goat. And

35:32

that's the need for a shower. The

35:36

Wall Street Journal this week reported on a

35:38

situation that has been leading to increased conflict,

35:41

anger, calls to beliefs, fights all across the

35:43

country. Where are people

35:45

constantly at each other's throats? Where

35:48

are people constantly at each other's throats? I

35:50

mean, probably an airport type of thing? No,

35:52

not an airport type of thing. I'll give

35:54

you a hint. It tends to happen, these

35:57

conflicts at around 8 30 in

35:59

the morning, and then again around

36:01

three-third in the afternoon. Schools! Schools,

36:03

yes! School pickup and drop-off. The

36:06

problem is hundreds of parents drive up to the school

36:08

at the same time. They're driving off-road to get to

36:11

the door. They're yelling at each other. It's bedlam.

36:13

And parents are like, bye sweetie, see

36:15

you later. Mommy's about to cut a

36:18

bitch. What

36:20

happened to school

36:23

buses? Well, that's the thing. That's

36:25

the thing. Apparently, the reasons that even the

36:27

Wall Street Journal couldn't quite figure out, nobody

36:29

takes the school bus anymore. They all get

36:31

driven by their parents, and their parents all

36:34

show up at the same time. It's crazy.

36:36

One Florida police department issued guidelines to local

36:38

parents saying, quote, don't throw your kid out

36:40

of a moving vehicle. Unquote.

36:43

And this is real. Quote, remember, you

36:45

have to pick your kid back up.

36:47

So this is not an excuse for

36:49

day drinking. You know who

36:52

you are. Unquote. Hello,

36:55

Florida. I only pick

36:57

them up if they do well. My

37:00

kids take the bus. They take the bus. I drop them

37:02

off to go. You just don't

37:05

want to be the driver, I don't

37:07

think. A bus driver with all those

37:09

kids back there who don't want

37:11

to be on the bus and

37:13

are making it as bad as possible. So

37:15

I think we ought to pause a moment

37:17

every morning and every

37:20

afternoon to thank the bus

37:22

drivers of America. Have

37:25

you driven it? You thought that you'd driven a bus. No.

37:30

I have talked to bus drivers up

37:33

in the country. Who are

37:35

you? Studs Terkel? Over

37:38

here. I don't know.

37:40

I just thought maybe if I talked a while

37:42

about buses, I would think it was something

37:44

to say. Coming

37:50

up, it's lightning fell in the blank, but first it's a game

37:52

where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to

37:54

play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-8-1-888-9248924. as

38:00

most weeks here at the Studebaker Theatre

38:02

in downtown Chicago or come see us

38:04

on the road. We'll be at the

38:06

Mann Center in Philadelphia on June the

38:08

27th and come see the WaitWait stand-up

38:10

tour with shows in Syracuse, Baltimore, and

38:12

Hershey, Pennsylvania. Coming up April 26th through

38:14

the 28th for tickets and information, go

38:16

to nprpresents.org. Hi, you're on WaitWait, don't

38:18

tell me. Hi,

38:20

Peter. This is Sydney Iverson calling from Portland

38:23

org. Hey, Sydney, how are things in

38:26

Portland fans? I'm a Portland fan, how

38:28

are things there? It's great, we're on

38:30

our third or fourth space spring so we

38:32

have a little bit of sunshine. That's great,

38:34

everybody get outside in 10, you won't have

38:36

much time. And what do you do there?

38:40

I'm a GIS technician for a public

38:42

works department. I'm sorry, you said GIS?

38:45

I do some mapping stuff for public works.

38:47

Okay, do you ever do maps and like

38:49

vellum and then burn the corners to make

38:51

them look ancient like pirate maps? And then

38:53

you write Darby dragons in the corners? Yeah,

38:55

like I did when I was a kid

38:57

because that'd be fun. I mean I will

38:59

after this. Oh absolutely. Well,

39:02

Sydney, welcome to the show. You of course are

39:04

going to play our listener Limerick Challenge. Helen Hong

39:06

here filling in for Bill is going to perform

39:08

for you. Three news related limericks

39:10

with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you

39:12

can fill in that last word or phrase correctly in two

39:14

of the limericks you will be a winner. Ready to go?

39:16

I think so. Well,

39:19

I know so because we're starting. Here

39:21

is your first limerick. Tiny

39:24

needles my doctor will jam

39:26

in. Wrinkles fade

39:29

youth returns please examine.

39:31

An essence of fish has

39:34

granted my wish. We inject

39:36

DNA from a... Salmon?

39:39

Salmon, yes. The newest beauty

39:42

trend sweeping the nation is

39:44

injecting salmon into your face.

39:47

No, not salmon meat. That would

39:49

be gross. It's salmon sperm. What?

39:52

Yes, no, it's true. Even celebrities like

39:54

Jennifer Aniston are getting into this procedure.

39:56

Of course, this means Miss Aniston will

39:58

soon swim upstream. to release

40:01

her roe and die. How

40:03

did it truly make you, I

40:06

can't even keep it, I seriously just got

40:08

this kind of snail mucus from

40:11

Korea to put on my face. And

40:13

now there's, I'm supposed to get injected with salmon

40:15

sperm? Yes. I've

40:17

been using monkey mucus on my head. And

40:21

it's not working, Peter. Apparently. And

40:23

it's not? Apparently

40:30

the salmon injections make your skin clump

40:32

by stimulating collagen production. You will look

40:34

younger, but on the other hand you

40:36

will also be eaten by a bear.

40:41

Alright, here is your next

40:44

limerick. Though chess has a

40:46

dignified pomp, our world

40:48

is a bit of a swamp. I

40:51

got up and I paced, then a

40:53

scolding I faced, because I walk

40:55

with a bit of a... Stomp.

40:59

Yes, stomp. A scandal has

41:01

once again rocked the professional

41:03

chess world as French

41:05

grandmaster Al Reza-Sarousia had been

41:07

accused of cheating by stomping

41:09

too loud. Not

41:12

only does heavy clumping around the room make it

41:14

hard for his opponent to concentrate, but in the

41:16

floor below you it can knock the chess pieces

41:18

off the ceiling that a drug-addled prodigy uses to

41:20

practice. The

41:24

French player, Mr.

41:26

Ferruzia, got up to stretch his legs during a match

41:28

against Russia's Ian Napagnacci, which

41:30

people do all the time,

41:34

but his quote, very heavy footfall made

41:36

the judges think he was intentionally trying

41:38

to distract Napagnacci and it worked, just

41:40

thinking about those heavy footsteps makes it

41:42

impossible for me to correctly pronounce Napagnacci.

41:48

Stomping on purpose? That's the

41:50

accusation that is distracting. And this only works

41:52

in chess, because if you stomp rhythmically on

41:54

the floor in any other sport, all that

41:56

happens is people start singing, We Will Rocky.

42:00

If you stop just right, it'll

42:03

move the pieces. Right. Moving

42:05

to where you want them to be. That's right. All

42:07

right. Here then is your last

42:10

limit. My tinnitus I'm

42:12

trying to block. I

42:14

hear ringing when anyone talks. See

42:17

my doc has a trick like a

42:20

nine-volt deal lick. I

42:22

am giving my tongue a quick shock.

42:25

Yes. In shock over 25

42:27

million Americans suffer from tinnitus or chronic

42:29

ringing of the ears but there's a

42:31

new treatment for the condition. All

42:34

you have to do is shock your tongue every day.

42:37

It's really simple. This

42:40

device is called Lanier. It couldn't be easier. You just

42:42

pop it in your mouth and relax as the therapeutic

42:44

power of electricity coursing through your tongue for 60 straight

42:47

minutes does its work. Here is your

42:49

tinnitus. You only have to do it every

42:51

day for 12 weeks. One

42:53

hour? You got to have your tongue be shocked an

42:55

hour? Yes you do. How did it come

42:57

up with it? Is that one of those things they

43:00

put an ad like we're doing an experiment come in

43:02

and then they shock you? They're like let's try four

43:04

hours. Helen,

43:07

how did Sydney do in our quiz?

43:10

Sydney did great all three correct? Congratulations.

43:12

Thank you all so much. Thank

43:15

you. Take care Sydney. Thank you all.

43:17

Have a good one. Thank

43:26

you. Support

43:35

for NPR and the following

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insurance from State Farm. Like a good

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neighbor, State Farm is there. Learn more at plus.npr.org in order to

44:33

feel my passion. Now onto our final game,

44:35

Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will

44:37

have 60 seconds in which they answer as many Fill

44:40

in the Blank questions as they can. Each correct answer

44:42

now worth two points. Okay, Helen, this is your moment.

44:45

Can you give us the scores?

44:47

Ma has three, Faith has two,

44:49

and Roy has three. Oh my

44:51

God. So Ma has three, and

44:53

Roy has three, and Faith has

44:55

two. Okay, so that means Faith,

44:57

amazingly enough, you're in second place.

44:59

Okay. So you're going to go first.

45:01

The clock will start. I'm going to begin your first question, Fill

45:03

in the Blank. On Wednesday, the Senate rejected

45:06

articles of impeachment against Alejandro Mayorkas,

45:08

the Secretary of Bank. Homeland

45:11

Security. Right. On Thursday,

45:13

China accused the US of holding up talks

45:15

for a lasting ceasefire in blank. Gaza. Right.

45:18

This week, House Speaker Mike Johnson advanced a

45:20

$95 billion blank bill. Ukraine

45:23

aid. Foreign aid, right. On

45:25

Wednesday, Indonesia issued a tsunami

45:27

alert following a multiple blank

45:29

eruptions. Volcano. Yes. This

45:32

week, the owner of a $250,000 Ferrari

45:34

in London is investigating why each night

45:36

he sees blank on his security camera.

45:39

A ghost in his Ferrari. No, a fox

45:41

jumping onto the car and pooping on the windshield. Obviously,

45:46

a communist fox. On Thursday, the World

45:48

Health Organization said they were concerned about

45:50

blank flues spreading to humans. Birds flu?

45:52

On Wednesday, John T. Porter was given

45:54

a lifetime ban from the blank for

45:57

sports betting. NBA. Right.

46:00

Brazil was arrested after she brought her uncle to a

46:02

bank to sign a loan for her, even though that

46:04

uncle had blanked. Yes. The

46:07

woman loaded her recently deceased uncle into a wheelchair, took

46:09

him to the bank and pretended to talk to him

46:12

throughout the loan application process while also

46:14

not very subtly keeping his head upright.

46:16

She even put a pen

46:18

in his hand. I

46:21

wondered like, sir, are you ready to

46:23

co-sign this loan? And she like nodded

46:25

his head. Yes, thank you. Bank

46:27

tellers called on right away and they called the police, but they

46:30

released the woman after she revealed that her

46:32

uncle's dying words were, use my body to

46:34

commit fraud. It's

46:37

hard to fool a bank teller. They call

46:39

them right away. They did, absolutely. Helen, how

46:41

did Faith do on our quiz? Faith did

46:43

very well. She got seven right for

46:45

14 more points with a total of

46:48

16 and the lead.

46:50

Well done. Well done. All

46:52

right. Ma,

46:55

just randomly I'm picking you to go next.

46:57

Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, the Senate

46:59

held hearings on the safety of airplanes made

47:01

by blank. Boeing. Right. On

47:04

Tuesday, federal authorities launched a criminal investigation

47:06

to the boat accident that destroyed the

47:08

bridge in blank. Baltimore. Right. On

47:11

Wednesday, a new report found that $6 billion in

47:13

damages remain to be fixed from the blank that

47:15

hit Maui in 2023. The

47:17

fire. Right. And what

47:20

is definitely not a sign of something bad, the University

47:22

of Oxford closed its long running blank institute

47:24

this week. Uh,

47:26

FART. No, it closed its

47:28

future of humanity institute. Then according to

47:31

a new report, fresh and frozen strawberries

47:33

carry a high risk of a blank

47:35

contamination. Uh, like

47:37

an E. coli kind of thing? No, pesticide. On

47:40

Wednesday, the Ingenuity helicopter sent NASA

47:42

its final message from blank. Mars.

47:45

Right. This week, a woman

47:47

in California sued Disneyland after blank fell on

47:49

her during her visit. Mickey. No,

47:52

goofy woman

47:55

is suing for injuries as well as

47:57

emotional pain and suffering after goofy walked

47:59

directly. into her trip and then fell

48:01

on her with his full body weight. When

48:03

he was served with a lawsuit, Goofy pretended

48:06

that he was the one who couldn't talk

48:08

and pointed frantically at Pluto. Helen,

48:12

how did Maas do on our quiz? Maas

48:15

got four right for eight points and a total

48:17

of 11 points, which

48:19

means Faith still has the lead.

48:22

All right. So

48:24

how many then does Roy

48:26

Blanche need to win? Roy, you need

48:29

seven to win. Seven. All right,

48:31

Roy. This is for the game. Please fill

48:33

in the blank. In an email to employees, Elon Musk

48:35

revealed that Blanche was planning to cut 10% of its

48:38

staff. Tesla. Yes.

48:41

This week, the Arizona House of Representatives failed to

48:43

repeal. The state's recently revived 160-year-old Blanche law. abortion.

48:47

Right after getting a full year's worth

48:49

of rainfall in 12 hours, Blanche experienced

48:51

massive flooding. Ireland. No.

48:55

The police in Canada confirmed that a

48:57

suspicious package found in Queens Park was

48:59

blank. Was nothing

49:01

to worry about. Because

49:04

it was gravy on Friday. The

49:06

Tortured Poets Department, the newest album

49:08

from blank was released. From Tyler.

49:11

Yes, Taylor Tyler, as they say.

49:14

On Monday, the armorer of

49:18

the film blank was sentenced to 18 months for

49:20

involuntary man flaut. Rust.

49:22

The brother of Jason Kelsey, the brother of Travis, and

49:24

the Super Bowl winner himself, revealed that he had lost

49:26

his Super Bowl ring in blank. A

49:30

suspicious package of gravy. No.

49:34

In an inflatable pool full of

49:36

chili. According

49:38

to Kelsey, he was participating in something with

49:40

this sort of contest with a

49:42

pool full of chili when all was said and done. He

49:44

realized he had lost his ring somewhere in the pool. And

49:47

while that's embarrassing for Jason, it's even worse for his

49:49

brother Travis, who somehow lost Taylor Swift in there. He

49:53

did not. He got four points for an additional eight

49:55

total. 11

50:00

points which means Faith wins at 16.

50:07

I still owe you a hug. Yep, yeah you

50:09

do. I'm waiting

50:11

for that hundo backstage. In

50:14

just a minute we'll ask our panelists to predict

50:16

after their endless shrimp deal failed what will Red

50:18

Lobster do next to try to bring in customers.

50:20

But first let me tell you that, wait

50:23

wait don't tell me, it's a production of NPR

50:25

and WVEC Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions,

50:27

Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord. Philip Gotich there writes our

50:30

limericks, our public address announcer is Paul Friedman, our

50:32

crew manager is Shayna Donald, thanks to the staff

50:34

and crew at the Studebaker Theatre. BJ Liederman composed

50:36

our theme, our program is produced by Jennifer Mills,

50:39

Miles Dernbos and Lillian King. Special

50:42

thanks to Monica Hickey and Vinnie Thomas this

50:44

week's special is endless Peter Glimbs. Emma Choi

50:46

is our vibe curator, technical directionist from Lorna

50:48

White, her CFO is Colin Miller, our production

50:50

manager is Robert Newhouse, our senior producer is

50:52

Ian Chilog, and the executive producer of

50:54

Wait Wait Don't Tell Me That's Mike Stanford. Now

50:57

panel what will Red Lobster do next?

50:59

Miles O'Ronnie, in an effort to

51:01

bring in some patriotic customers, Red Lobster is going

51:03

to change its name to Red, White and Blue

51:05

Lobster, where each lobster comes with

51:07

a hot dog, apple pie and an AR-15. Faith

51:12

Salish. They're

51:14

going to start catering bar

51:16

and bot mitzvahs with their

51:18

theme of ultimate endless traits.

51:20

And White Blount Jr. want to

51:23

see a lobster find an eel? Oh,

51:25

okay. Oh,

51:29

okay. And

51:33

if any of that happens, we'll ask

51:35

you about it on Wait Wait Don't

51:37

Tell Me. Thank you, Helen

51:39

Hodge. Thanks

51:43

also to Miles O'Ronnie, Faith Salish, and Lillian Lorna

51:45

Jr. Thanks to our fabulous audience here at the

51:47

City of Texas Theatre, our home in Chicago.

51:49

Thanks to all of you out there for listening. We'll

51:53

see you next week. This

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52:37

It's Been a Minute, we're keeping you in the

52:39

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52:42

break down the latest trends and the

52:44

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52:46

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52:48

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52:50

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