0:00

When you build a

0:00

business, you have to face your

0:03

perspective of your self worth. It is hand in hand.

0:07

You cannot. Start charging for your services and

0:09

value without facing that, right.

0:14

Hey friends, welcome to Voice and

0:14

Impact, an honest podcast about

0:18

the journey of entrepreneurship. We're not here to tell

0:20

you how to live your life.

0:22

We're here to have real

0:22

conversations about real things.

0:27

My name is Adam, and I'm so grateful

0:29

you're

0:29

here with us. Today we're gonna talk a little bit about,

0:30

you know, the courage to be known and.

0:36

You know, we related on that , Adam,

0:36

and I'm sure Jade, maybe you have,

0:41

uh, some, some thoughts around

0:41

that in your, your journey and,

0:46

and around the courage to be known. And I think going from the fear.

0:50

Of being known to, like, the courage

0:50

to being known and activated in the

0:54

world is largely about, you know,

0:54

overcoming a lot of those barriers that

0:59

keep us stuck and small in between.

1:01

Right. So I think we can talk a little bit about

1:02

what some of those barriers are, including

1:06

things like imposter syndrome and.

1:09

Self sabotage and just all

1:09

the different things about

1:12

being a creative in the world. And I'm sure there are probably some

1:13

common experiences that we have,

1:16

but also very personal experiences

1:16

that we can dive deep into as deep

1:22

as you guys are willing to go. So one of the first

1:23

things that I wanted to.

1:28

, I guess talk about, and like I said in in

1:28

regards to a common experience that maybe

1:32

a lot of people can relate to is this

1:32

idea of imposter syndrome is of being an

1:38

imposter in your own life and your own

1:38

dreams, even though they're only yours.

1:42

So I would love to know Adam, like

1:42

how do you define imposter syndrome?

1:48

What kind of experiences of imposter

1:48

syndrome have kept you sort of in the.

1:53

Of being known, and I know you have

1:53

a really interesting perspective

1:56

around this whole concept

1:56

anyway, so would love to hear.

2:00

Uh, yeah. Well that's, I think that's a great

2:02

place to start and I'll, I'll start

2:06

by just simply acknowledging that I'm

2:06

at a point in my career where imposter

2:14

syndrome is a day to day reality. It's a day to day experience and there

2:17

are some days where I feel totally

2:24

aligned and grateful for my sense of

2:24

contribution and grateful for the,

2:30

the value that I'm inspired to share.

2:34

And there are other days where it's

2:34

like, holy fuck, who do I think I am?

2:40

Like I'm just another guy on the internet.

2:42

I really don't want to be seen.

2:44

Right? Cuz there are like, I think there are two

2:44

types of content creators in the world.

2:50

There's the content creator that is really

2:50

all about, hear me, I wanna be heard.

2:58

Listen to me. And then there's the content

3:00

creator that is all about, I

3:03

wanna help, I wanna be of service.

3:06

Here are the things that I've learned. Maybe they can apply to you too.

3:11

And I think there's a part of me.

3:15

Is afraid of even accidentally

3:15

being associated with the content

3:22

creator that just wants to be heard.

3:25

And I think there's, I think

3:25

the need to, to to be heard is

3:30

an important need to be met. , we all need to feel heard, like

3:32

that is a basic human need.

3:37

That's a little bit of a different

3:37

response to your question directly.

3:40

So let me directly address your question

3:40

and then I have a lot of musings, a lot

3:45

of sort of deep thinking about imposter

3:45

syndrome that I think is, is different

3:50

than the sort of status quo, because

3:50

right now imposter syndrome is trend.

3:57

There's a lot of people in the

3:57

world right now because the

4:01

entrepreneurial push is growing. People are facing imposter syndrome

4:03

in a new way because when you build

4:07

a business, you have to face your

4:07

perspective of your self worth.

4:12

It is hand in hand. You cannot.

4:16

Start charging for your services

4:16

and value without facing that.

4:20

Right? And so because of the rise of

4:21

entrepreneurialism, I see that imposter

4:25

syndrome surfacing, maybe not the

4:25

imposter syndrome itself being new, but

4:31

the awareness of it being new because

4:31

of the need to face that self-worth.

4:36

So the kind of like under arch question

4:36

here that you asked is, well, what

4:39

is imposter syndrome essentially?

4:42

Imposter syndrome. The sort of vague belief that you hold in

4:43

yourself, that like you're phony, you're

4:49

an imposter, something you're, you know,

4:49

like, like the key word, the theme of when

4:55

I was a kid, the word, the language you

4:55

would use is like, you're a poer, right?

4:59

Like, like you're pretending

4:59

to be something you're not.

5:03

And sometimes that's rooted in feelings

5:03

of like, what I have isn't valuable.

5:08

I have this aha moment this week, which

5:08

is like, I'm just afraid of being known.

5:14

I'm afraid of, of people knowing who I am.

5:17

And you know, part of that is

5:17

because I know I've made mistakes.

5:21

I know I've done wrong things. But now that we know what imposter

5:23

syndrome is, the sort of question

5:27

is is like how do we deal with it? And I think a lot of people go

5:29

to the perspective of how do I.

5:32

How do I abolish it? And I would challenge that

5:34

and I would, I would encourage

5:36

you to realize you never can. You never will.

5:40

It's an impossible feat to measure.

5:42

Now you can feel grateful

5:42

and confident and allow the

5:48

radiance of your value to exist.

5:51

But to say that, Voice in the back

5:51

of your head will become nothing,

5:58

I think is an impossible standard.

6:01

And so my question becomes,

6:01

how do I live with it?

6:05

How do I allow imposter syndrome

6:05

to be maybe not a part of my core

6:11

identity, but how do I allow it to

6:11

exist simultaneously to the part

6:17

of me that believes in my inherent.

6:21

To the part of me that believes

6:21

that I make a difference.

6:24

I'm working on a blog post right now

6:24

called You Make a Fucking Difference.

6:29

And I think the more we realize that

6:29

we make a fucking difference, and it's

6:36

hard for us to always see our value

6:36

from our own vantage point, the more

6:42

we do to allow these two perspectives

6:42

to merge, to hug, to embrace, to allow.

6:51

The more capable we're going to be to

6:51

give permission to the current moment.

6:55

And sometimes the current moment is

6:55

just like, fuck, am I doing enough?

7:02

Am I giving enough? Am I helping enough? Is what I'm saying actually

7:04

making a difference?

7:08

And other times it's, ah, look at all

7:08

the amazing good things I'm doing.

7:13

And there is no right and wrong. There is no right and wrong.

7:16

So the more that we allow both sides

7:16

of that coin to exist, the less

7:21

shame we're going to experience

7:21

within our human experience.

7:25

And I think more suffering comes

7:25

from the resistance of the imposter

7:29

syndrome than it does from the

7:29

actual imposter syndrome itself.

7:34

And this is so real time for me. , you know, I'm at, I'm at a point

7:36

in my career where I am just

7:39

vulnerably sharing my journey.

7:41

I'm getting rid of any sort of

7:41

idea that I need to make content.

7:45

I'm getting rid of any sort of idea

7:45

that I need to be expressing things in

7:50

a certain way, and I'm just allowing,

7:50

and it's vulnerable and it's scary.

7:56

But if you learn to be able to take the

7:56

steps regardless of how you're feeling

8:02

and set boundaries when you need. . You know, I think, I think you're going

8:05

to serve yourself in magical ways,

8:10

you know, in regards to what

8:10

it makes me think, two things, but

8:13

in regards to what you're saying

8:13

of not abolishing it, like the, the

8:20

polarity is always gonna exist, right? That's like true about our world, but

8:22

it's like new level, new devil, right?

8:26

Like you're always gonna

8:26

get to a new level and.

8:29

You're gonna feel that imposter

8:29

syndrome again, because you've never

8:32

been there before and you're gonna have

8:32

toal with the whole thing basically.

8:36

And having that in the back of your

8:36

mind of like, all right, like this is

8:40

just something that comes along with

8:40

me on this ride throughout life, is

8:44

this feeling of being an imposter. Um, in a sense, right, of like,

8:47

but it's like you learn how to

8:50

cope with it a little bit better. And I, I'd love to know as well,

8:52

and then from you Jade as well, like

8:57

personally, I have had experiences

8:57

in my life where I have this imposter

9:04

syndrome, both in, um, like work,

9:04

like professional, but also personal.

9:09

And I feel like imposter syndrome is

9:09

something that has talked about so

9:12

much in terms of like your business

9:12

and the things that you're wanting

9:17

to achieve in doing your life. But sometimes the imposter

9:18

syndrome can also come into.

9:22

Personal life, and I don't feel

9:22

like that's talked about very much.

9:25

So I'd love to know what your,

9:25

um, both your perspectives are.

9:29

I'll start with you, Adam, on having it

9:29

in both and what it, what, if you have

9:34

specific examples each have looked like. Yeah. I

9:36

think there's a bigger

9:36

thing here to discuss.

9:38

Um, so I'll set aside the imposter

9:38

syndrome for a second and I'll,

9:42

I'll address that head on after

9:42

I, I make a couple of points.

9:46

Mm-hmm. and, and, and so the first

9:47

thing that I want to talk about,

9:51

How we categorize our life. You know, there's our personal life,

9:54

there's our business life, there's

9:58

our family life, there's our, all

9:58

of these different categories.

10:02

And although I think a lot of times the

10:02

intention is pure to understand all of

10:08

these different categories, one thing that

10:08

I need to make clear is you are always.

10:13

Adam is always Adam. Whether I'm in an in business

10:15

environment, whether I'm in a family

10:17

environment, whether I'm in a friend

10:17

environment, whether I'm in any of

10:22

those things, Adam is always Adam.

10:25

And so if I'm experiencing imposter

10:25

syndrome, it's likely that that imposter

10:31

syndrome affects my lens and how I view

10:31

the world in all of those categories.

10:37

So the first thing that I would

10:37

encourage is to, to dissolve.

10:42

The boundaries of what categories are

10:42

dissolve them, allow yourself to be

10:48

you no matter where you are, but in,

10:48

in context of like, how do I navigate

10:54

the feelings of doubt, the feelings of.

10:57

Um, challenging my own self worth in

10:57

sort of a personal life setting, right?

11:03

Like that can look in a variety of ways

11:03

that could look like I don't go to the gym

11:08

because I'm never going to be that fitness

11:08

all star that we see on television, right?

11:14

And so a part of all of those

11:14

experiences is letting go.

11:25

The romanticized extremes of

11:25

anything you're working on, right?

11:30

Like we live in a world

11:30

of perceived perfection.

11:36

So any time that we ourselves

11:36

are not accomplishing that sense

11:40

of per perfection, we feel a

11:40

lack of motivation to pursue.

11:48

, right? So again, we can use the

11:48

fitness as an example.

11:52

The media is very, it's very common

11:52

for the media to show these images

11:57

of very robust built, you know,

11:57

healthy individuals that penetrates

12:04

what we perceive as health, right?

12:09

So we began viewing health in

12:09

that sort of bulky manner, which.

12:15

solidify or be used as a mechanism to

12:15

validate our feelings of not good enough.

12:24

Mm. And because it validates our

12:24

feelings of not good enough, we're

12:27

less motivated to move forward.

12:32

And the the sort of like,

12:32

Flipping that script on its ass

12:39

a little bit, we've gotta change

12:39

the inner NA narrative, right?

12:43

Like working out for the sake of being

12:43

ripped is a very material experience.

12:51

I want to feel comfortable and

12:51

confident and strong in my body.

12:58

If that is the motive, it doesn't

12:58

matter what the media presents

13:02

itself as because it's impossible

13:02

to affect that motive, right?

13:08

Like nobody works out saying, I

13:08

want to go feel like shit , right?

13:12

And in fact, if you're somebody who

13:12

does have that inner dialogue of

13:16

working out feels like shit, chances

13:16

are your whole experience of going

13:21

to work is full of resistance. Yeah.

13:24

Or you're

13:24

not gonna

13:25

do it, or you're not gonna do

13:25

it because you'll think about it.

13:27

You'll say, uh, I don't

13:27

want to go feel like shit.

13:30

Why should I punish myself? I'm done.

13:32

Yeah. And so, you know, not to the Simon

13:32

cynic level, uh, but, but understand

13:40

why you're doing stuff, but, and

13:40

you don't need to understand why

13:44

you're doing stuff in order to act. , right?

13:47

Like that's one of those really big

13:47

questions of why am I doing this?

13:51

And so the thing I see most common in

13:51

the entrepreneurial space particularly

13:56

is people thinking about, right,

13:56

trying to solve that problem.

13:59

I can't do anything cuz I don't know why yet. So like, think about, think

14:01

about, think about, think about.

14:03

So again, my, my perspective is,

14:03

is all of it needs to coexist.

14:10

We need to simultaneously understand

14:10

our why while we're moving forward.

14:16

These two forces need to coexist.

14:19

We need to accept our imposter syndrome

14:19

while we experience our confidence.

14:25

These two forces need to coexist, and this

14:25

idea, this basic principle of coexist.

14:32

Can trickle into every area, can trickle

14:32

into every philosophical conversation,

14:37

can trickle into every entrepreneurial

14:37

pursuit, can trickle into every area

14:40

of self perspective and self value.

14:43

Um, and I think it's particularly

14:43

applicable to, to the, to the implications

14:48

of imposter syndrome and, and having

14:48

a harder time seeing your own value.

14:52

And the last thing I'll see about

14:52

that is like, it's impossible

14:56

to see your own value from the

14:56

lens of the eyes other than.

15:01

. That's something I'm

15:01

really realizing right now.

15:04

I can't see my contribution to the world

15:04

the same way the people I'm serving can.

15:10

So there's a, there's like a, there's

15:10

like a permission that I'm experiencing

15:13

like a, giving a permission to the

15:13

other people to acknowledge what

15:17

they see about my pursuits because

15:17

I can't see it the way they can.

15:23

Um, and, and that's, that's

15:23

an emerging thing for me.

15:26

That's new. That's very. I have no idea how well I answered your

15:30

question or if I answered it at all, but

15:34

those are all the things that come to me.

15:36

Yeah, absolutely. And I think it's all divine and I think

15:37

the, the non-com compartmentalization of

15:43

our life, like you showing up as you in

15:43

every single scenario or place or whatever

15:49

you're gonna be in, is exactly it, right?

15:52

Cause we think about, oh, I'm

15:52

imposter here, I'm imposter here.

15:54

But really it's an overall experience

15:56

that segues perfectly into.

15:59

where I feel inspired to express because

15:59

I have had a massive confrontation and

16:06

experience with imposter syndrome lately

16:06

in like the fruition of this podcast.

16:12

Like the day before we did episode

16:12

one, I was freaked out because

16:18

just the thought of having my voice

16:18

broadcasted and I don't know what

16:23

to say and do I really have value?

16:25

What am I doing? Why am I doing it? Just all of those thoughts were

16:26

spiraling and I was spinning out and

16:31

just, I fully gave myself permission

16:31

to go through that and to just like

16:36

cry and hide under a blanket, . Cause

16:36

that was genuinely how I was feeling.

16:40

And even now, During this present

16:40

podcast, I've had thoughts of like,

16:47

but what am I really gonna say? I don't what?

16:49

I don't know what I'm gonna say. It's like, well just say what's

16:50

true for you in the moment

16:52

You're experiencing it right now. Imposter syndrome, you

16:54

know, and it's been cool.

16:58

This week to navigate something that

16:58

Adam touched on, which is giving

17:07

yourself permission to go there and

17:07

have your freak out and do the thing

17:12

anyways, but also set boundaries.

17:14

So like having the living question

17:14

of, okay, I'm going to do this.

17:19

Like, I knew I was gonna do the

17:19

podcast and I was excited about it.

17:23

That was present too, like the, the,

17:23

the inner knowing that like this.

17:29

A new seed that's being planted. And I don't know what it's gonna

17:31

lead to, but I feel good about it.

17:35

The fear and the freakout is there too.

17:37

So like I had already made the

17:37

decision like, I'm going to do this.

17:40

This is something that's,

17:40

that's a yes for me.

17:43

Sometimes when I feel imposter

17:43

syndrome, there's that question of

17:46

like, Is this something that I'm

17:46

afraid of that I need to pursue anyway?

17:52

Or am I having like mixed feelings

17:52

about this because it's really

17:56

not for me and I do need to change

17:56

something or set boundaries around it.

18:01

And so having that question present

18:01

was really important and actually

18:06

bled into my personal life where

18:06

like I had that freak out day.

18:10

We did episode one, which was. I felt very, very calm and just kind

18:12

of showed up and whatever unfolded.

18:16

And I noticed there were a few moments

18:16

in my relationships a couple days after

18:22

where I said things that I was really

18:22

scared to say and I just trusted fully,

18:26

like this is my truth right now. So here it is, and

18:31

if it's a mistake that I said

18:31

that, like that'll, I'll deal with that.

18:34

But ultimately, like the.

18:39

Momentum that accepting imposter

18:39

syndrome and not resisting it and

18:43

instead connecting to what your truth

18:43

is the best that you can, and just

18:48

trusting that is like so fruitful.

18:52

So that's, that's my

18:52

little piece about this.

18:56

I think it's a part of human nature. Mm-hmm.

18:59

to question our role in the world.

19:05

And I think that's ultimately

19:05

what imposter syndrome.

19:09

Am I doing enough? Am I caring hard enough?

19:13

Am I providing enough value? Am I being of service?

19:17

Am I loving to the best of my capability?

19:21

And I think we're arriving at a

19:21

really important realization in that.

19:27

And that realization is human beings

19:27

at their core want to do good in the.

19:37

They want to be helpful, right?

19:41

And imposter syndrome is the

19:41

byproduct of that desire.

19:48

And again, in our current world, the, the

19:48

sort of narrative is like humans are bad.

19:56

Don't trust your strangers like

19:56

humans cause a lot of harm.

20:01

And I think that narrative is fucked

20:01

up because what that does is it because

20:07

humans are bad and we just accept

20:07

that it has a sweeping under the rug.

20:13

All the systematic contributor

20:13

contributors that are creating

20:18

human experiences that cause harm.

20:22

We don't, we're not just born. That way.

20:25

It's the byproduct of our experiences.

20:28

So then how do we create a system

20:28

that creates experiences that empowers

20:32

the already existing human potential?

20:34

That is the question.

20:37

Yeah. Like you said, it, it comes down

20:37

to the fact that we are just a

20:41

collection of our experiences and

20:41

past conditioning and all of that.

20:45

Right. And it's like, That deservingness

20:46

of being known of being successful.

20:52

Sometimes we can lose touch with the fact

20:52

that like, that those are like people

20:56

that are successful and really well known. Those are just other humans that

20:57

are also just living based on and,

21:03

and trying to heal and all of that. Um, one of the biggest things that came

21:05

up for me, I guess in reflecting on this

21:09

is of like, why do I fear being known

21:09

and it's, it's around that same sort

21:14

of theme of I'll never be washed clean

21:14

enough of all the mistakes in the past

21:20

through all this self-development work

21:20

and exploration and self-awareness, I'll

21:23

never be washed clean enough to be a good

21:23

leader, to be a good role model like that.

21:29

Sort of like undeserving this of like,

21:29

I'm not all the way up there like them

21:33

yet, but they are exactly like us.

21:36

Some of them even. Further behind in their

21:38

journey of self-awareness

21:41

and healing and all of that. So that's something that really came

21:43

up for me as I was thinking about

21:47

what you were saying and I'd love

21:47

to know from you, Jade, as well.

21:51

Like what do you think and around sort

21:51

of like the, the why that comes up

21:56

for you. It's so broad.

21:59

It's such a broad, yeah.

22:08

I think I'll just say what is on

22:08

my mind, which is when it comes to.

22:15

Assuming that people who are perceived

22:15

as successful and they have the

22:21

limelight that they've always wanted

22:21

and they have the picture perfect

22:25

Instagram and all of that, like I've

22:25

super struggled in my path with thinking

22:31

that like that's it, that when you

22:31

achieve the perfect body finances,

22:37

um, the

22:40

creations, whatever thing

22:40

externally, Just presently where you are

22:46

in the moment, just being you, but like

22:46

that's the thing that's, you've arrived.

22:51

Right? And I think why people, and myself

22:52

included, I've experienced this, why we

22:58

can be triggered into wanting to pick

22:58

people apart and find flaws is because

23:06

we really want to know that like. You're human though, right?

23:11

Like you have all of this perfect thing,

23:11

but you're, you're like me though, right?

23:14

Like, you, you have flaws too. Like, we want to feel that connection and

23:16

that's why authenticity and just being

23:21

in the moment and expressing ourselves

23:21

as we are and learning to accept, uh,

23:28

the, the, uh, the baggage of it all, for

23:28

lack of a better word, is so important.

23:33

Cuz I think when we

23:33

realize, oh wait, we're all.

23:37

Like scared little kids inside.

23:40

We all have that part of us and

23:40

we all have the part of us that's

23:43

like, I'm a bad motherfucker. I came here to do really cool shit.

23:46

Like marrying those two and realizing

23:46

that we're all trying to navigate that

23:50

balance is so empowering cuz then it feels

23:50

like there's space in the world for you.

23:55

And um, that's, that's been a game

23:55

changer for me is, is realizing

24:02

that everybody is human and.

24:06

I, that's, that's just

24:06

where I felt inspired to go.

24:09

The interesting thing about

24:09

vulnerability, I mean, real vulnerability,

24:13

not the catchphrase vulnerability, but the

24:13

raw vulnerability is the only way to learn

24:21

to be vulnerable is to experience it.

24:25

So if you have leaders that lead

24:25

by example, not theoretically, not

24:30

like talking about, Hey, let's be

24:30

vulnerable, but are demonstrating

24:34

what vulnerability looks like. I don't know about you guys, but when I'm

24:36

around somebody who is vulnerable, I feel

24:40

so much more permission to be vulnerable. Mm-hmm.

24:44

. And so vulnerable leaders

24:44

create environments where

24:49

we learn to see ourselves. That's what vulnerability.

24:54

Seeing yourself truly and

24:54

authentically and genuinely.

24:58

And that's why I think it's so called for. It's so called for it.

25:01

Cause we got so many masks in our world. We're told to be so many things

25:04

and we view life as this external.

25:08

I need to arrive at this thing or

25:08

I need to arrive at this thing,

25:10

just like Jade was talking about. And it gets in our way.

25:15

It gets in our. Amen.

25:21

. Alysha: Yeah. Amen. Um, totally.

25:24

And I think. You know, in building off of last

25:27

week's conversation around that success

25:31

not being linear or being non-linear,

25:31

um, and you never really arrive.

25:36

You're just sort of, you know, going

25:36

and going through the rollercoaster.

25:41

Like as you overcome these obstacles

25:41

and break down the barriers, like

25:45

as you ride with imposter syndrome

25:45

your whole life, as you learn to be

25:49

vulnerable and accept other people. Vulnerability.

25:52

You start to see yourself as

25:52

more inherently deserving.

25:55

You know, humans, just being

25:55

other humans, like we're all in

25:59

this kind of together, right? As you're on the rise, and then

26:00

suddenly you can get to instances

26:04

I feel, when you come down that are

26:04

perpetuated by nobody else but you.

26:09

Right? The self sabotage like you are on

26:10

the rise, sort of, all right, I'm

26:14

riding with this imposter syndrome. I'm just being human,

26:15

I'm being vulnerable. This is great.

26:18

And then suddenly it's like, Self-sabotage

26:18

and it comes outta nowhere sometimes.

26:23

But bringing awareness to it on like, why

26:23

am I actually sabotaging this feeling of

26:29

success or this potential for success? Um, I'd love to know how that

26:31

shows up for you and like how have

26:35

you learned to move through it?

26:38

I have a bit of a story about that. Absolutely.

26:40

Um, in 2020, I moved back to Florida and

26:40

I started painting seashells just for fun.

26:48

Like I was just dillydallying in my

26:48

little art studio and I posted them

26:52

on Instagram and I had around 15

26:52

people message me saying exactly this.

26:58

I would pay money for this. And I was like,

27:01

oh. Okay, .

27:03

Jade: Wow. This is something that really resonates

27:04

with me because I love doing this.

27:08

It's relatively easy for me.

27:10

I love being at the beach and collecting

27:10

these shells and the experience that I

27:13

have on the beach fuels the artwork, so

27:13

it's very regenerative and sustainable.

27:18

I love dealing with people in this

27:18

personalized, custom, creative way,

27:23

and I started a poll asking people what

27:23

they would pay and which ones would they

27:28

want, and would they want variety packs. Took steps towards acting

27:31

on that opportunity and then

27:36

completely shut it down.

27:39

Cuz the second I realized that

27:39

what I had to offer was desired.

27:43

I was overwhelmed with the

27:43

feeling of expectation.

27:45

And when I went to create, my shoulders

27:45

were so tense, I was sweating.

27:50

I wasn't enjoying it at all. Cause I was just like,

27:51

now it has to be good.

27:54

Like I just freaked. And completely didn't do anything

27:55

for a year with the seashells.

28:00

I just put 'em in the closet and

28:00

was like, Nope, I just can't do that

28:04

Then, and I had a moment in 2021.

28:07

I don't know what the catalyst to it

28:07

was, but I think it was probably a

28:12

phase like this talking and realizing,

28:12

like having realizations about imposter

28:17

syndrome, where I was like, oh man.

28:20

I totally had a success,

28:20

fear and just shut it down.

28:25

And, you know, maybe, let's see if that

28:25

opportunity is still open for me because I

28:30

really want to test the belief that like,

28:30

Hey, what's yours isn't gonna go away.

28:35

You know, you can still open that door again. It's there.

28:38

And uh, I started painting

28:38

the shells again and posted

28:41

them and I wound up selling.

28:44

Bunch of them and created a

28:44

little business and made them

28:48

into ornaments for the holidays. And, uh, it was really cool to experiment

28:50

with, um, the grace of having gone through

28:58

the process of shutting down something.

29:00

That was a wonderful opportunity for

29:00

me, realizing that I did that and then

29:04

opening it up again to be like, well,

29:04

let's see if that is going to work.

29:08

And, um, this year, I feel really inspired

29:08

to implement the stuff that we talk

29:14

about here in regards to entrepreneurship

29:14

to like this year's batch of shells.

29:20

Cause I still feel like a total fetus

29:20

in the world of entrepreneurship

29:24

and selling my art and dealing

29:24

with people, and I just did it.

29:27

Pretty loosey goosey. Last year, I just posted stuff on

29:29

Instagram or I, uh, I work at a little

29:33

retail shop that I had my shells in and

29:33

just kind of word of mouth made it happen.

29:38

But I would love to develop more

29:38

structured way of doing it, and

29:43

that really, really scares me. So that's a, that's where I'm

29:45

at with the seashells right now.

29:49

But, uh, it started with self-sabotage.

29:52

self-compassion is so important. When you look back on like, oh, there's

29:55

this big opportunity that I missed.

30:00

It's such a pressurized way of looking

30:00

at things and I remember there's been

30:03

so many instances where I felt in

30:03

that moment, well, I'm not really in

30:10

the moment cuz I'm thinking about. Uh, life, like something bigger that,

30:12

that something bigger that we've

30:16

talked about is looking down on me. Like, if you don't challenge yourself

30:17

and take this opportunity, then you

30:22

are not worthy, not lovable, not

30:22

gonna be successful, not gonna, that's

30:25

like, and I feel like at times that

30:25

lens, like the way that I respond to

30:32

opportunity is, , it creates overwhelm.

30:37

That makes me want to go, Ooh, ooh. Like, I'm just not ready for this.

30:41

And sometimes that's true. Sometimes the, maybe with the

30:42

seashells the first time it really

30:46

was like, man, this is a lot.

30:48

I don't know if I'm ready for this. Ah, I'm just gonna, I'm just

30:49

gonna go back here for a year,

30:54

until I finally feel like. Okay.

30:58

That was a little scary, but like,

30:58

let's, let's dip our toe in the water

31:01

again and see if we can get this going. Um,

31:04

so, you know, it's interesting,

31:04

like, just in my own experience

31:08

and perspective, uh, I feel like

31:08

my entire entrepreneurial journey

31:13

so far has been, um, navigating

31:13

sabotage, , , um, Beau, whether it.

31:21

Like physical or like

31:21

tangible or intangible.

31:25

Um, A big struggle for me has been

31:25

substances like as I am nearing or

31:32

as I have a good day or something

31:32

like that, I immediately think like,

31:36

oh, what would make this better? Let's get wasted.

31:39

Let's get super baked. Like, and like let's have a cigarette.

31:43

Something that I've never, I quit smoking

31:43

like three years ago, but it's almost

31:47

like my mind goes back to that of like,

31:47

how can we sabotage this like new level

31:52

that you're entering And that's what's

31:54

something that's so wick. About what, how, how we're raised

31:55

to engage in rewarding ourselves.

32:04

We've anonymized, is that a word?

32:07

We've anonymized, rewarding

32:07

ourselves with self-sabotage.

32:13

We are like, yes, I'm

32:13

doing the right things.

32:16

I deserve this. . Right.

32:19

Uh, and that's fucking crazy. I mean, Julia Cameron talks about it all

32:21

the time in her, in, in all of her work.

32:26

That's one. Two, I really want to challenge the

32:27

perspective on the idea of self-sabotage.

32:35

Those thoughts aren't coming from you.

32:38

Those aren't your original thoughts.

32:42

They are amplification and echoing.

32:46

Of the thoughts we've heard

32:46

throughout our cultural experience.

32:52

So the, the sooner we accept

32:52

that, the sooner we realize

32:57

this isn't me doing it now.

32:59

It is a part of my experience. That I am fully responsible for.

33:05

I am responsible for this experience,

33:05

but it is not me inherently

33:10

that is causing this to myself. It is not my fault to allow that

33:12

thinking to exist, but to not claim

33:18

it as my own because it's not.

33:22

It's an echo. It's not your own thinking.

33:24

You didn't come out of the

33:24

womb going, wow, I'm terrible.

33:29

Look how bad I'm, that Didn't happen.

33:33

That didn't happen. You came out of the womb desiring

33:35

love, and where there isn't

33:41

love, other things replaced it.

33:46

And then when we desire love, and

33:46

we're unfamiliar how to receive it.

33:55

Substances play a great role in

33:55

that motherfucker because they're

34:00

as close as we can get to it.

34:07

Yep. Ugh. 100%.

34:10

And that's been the the biggest

34:10

journey in self-awareness process

34:14

the whole time too, right? Of like, I'm not an addict, I.

34:19

Tendencies. I have experiences. I grew up in an environment where

34:21

that was very normalized, right?

34:24

So it's, uh, yeah, it's, it's really

34:24

interesting to sort of zoom out

34:29

in that way or disassociate, um,

34:29

based on, based on those things.

34:34

So, yeah, and I mean, In regards to all

34:34

of this, all the topics that we talked

34:42

about throughout this, I'd love to know

34:42

what are some of, you know, your final

34:47

thoughts around navigating your fear,

34:47

navigating your Sabo self sabotage.

34:53

You know, even though it's impossible to

34:53

do so, even, you know, imposter syndrome.

34:59

Um, That you know is like leading

34:59

you slowly but surely to courage

35:04

and motivation to be known.

35:06

I think the first thing

35:06

I'll say to this is accept.

35:13

Accept your current experience. Don't resist it.

35:18

Accept that right now you're shy to

35:18

take credit, except that right now

35:26

you're struggling to see your value. Once.

35:31

Once you've accepted it, pay attention.

35:36

Because if life is a duet, if

35:36

life is a holistic experience, is

35:42

your attention on all of the good?

35:49

That's one sided. Cuz it's not all good in the world,

35:50

it's not all good In your experience,

35:55

or is your attention on all of the c.

36:00

Well, that's not true because

36:00

it's not all challenge and

36:04

bring balance, bring harmony. If you're observing in yourself

36:06

that right now, my attention is

36:11

really on this feeling of doubt,

36:11

make a list of all of the things

36:16

you've accomplished in your life. You're more badass probably than you

36:19

give yourself credit for, and you'll

36:22

get to a point where you realize

36:22

your emotions are valid and they.

36:28

but they are not all that you are. The challenging thoughts that

36:32

you're having right now, they are

36:36

valid and they matter, but your

36:36

thinking is not all that you are.

36:43

The things that you're doing in the world

36:43

and efforting to accomplish, they matter.

36:49

But they are not all that you are.

36:52

Well, that's a wrap. Again, this is Voice and Impact podcast.

36:56

My name is Adam. Thanks for being here.

36:59

Thanks for being you. Thanks for doing all the good things

37:00

you do, and we'll see you next week.