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1:38

Cut it. Thank you.

1:40

Like

1:50

that

1:50

scene in ice age or it's

1:52

like and everyone

1:55

else does it. Alright.

1:56

How are you guys doing? Yeah?

1:59

Doing alright? That was

2:02

so strobe, hydro.

2:06

Entro was so strobe. Give it up for

2:08

Marco, the AV guy.

2:13

How do I how do I like heighten.

2:15

Like, I'd make this taller.

2:16

Unscrew this

2:18

to the left. She was never in theater.

2:20

What? I was never a tech. Okay.

2:22

Raise

2:22

it up. There you

2:24

go. And tighten it to the right. That'll do it. My

2:26

computer shut off. Women

2:28

in STEM.

2:29

guys.

2:31

So first of all, thank you guys so much

2:33

for coming out. This is

2:34

Viagra. It's like

2:37

Miami is a cursed city, but we're happy to

2:39

be here. The

2:41

City of angels.

2:42

City of Dreams

2:44

where the the Dreams die. The City of brotherly

2:46

love.

2:49

In the Golden State. So

2:53

we have a topic for you tonight.

2:55

We do. It's on the

2:57

floor demand.

3:01

I know the poor

3:01

demand meme. We know it very well.

3:05

And

3:05

I feel like it's fitting. Especially being

3:07

in Miami. We were just in Orlando, West

3:10

Palm Beach, and now we're in Miami. The

3:12

best city, arguably.

3:16

Arguably, I would argue.

3:20

Oh, can I have a margarita?

3:21

She's kidding.

3:23

She doesn't even know.

3:24

Alright.

3:30

Yeah. So I Sarah, and this is Britney.

3:32

I'm Britney, and my computer won't

3:34

start because of all the porn.

3:36

So give me, like, half a second. You're just gonna hear,

3:38

like, moaning from, like, twenty different video.

3:40

No. It's just because I don't know how to I don't

3:42

know. It's, like, broken.

3:43

Give me a second. Does every show her computer

3:46

just shits out? Yeah. If I just roll too

3:48

fast, it shuts off. You

3:50

could cook an egg on a hot, the fucking

3:52

mess is. We

3:55

do wanna give a disclaimer. Hold on.

3:57

We do.

3:59

Don't Schauer

4:01

for that. Grow up. You don't need to seriously grow

4:03

up. We wanna give a disclaimer.

4:05

Really quick playing because feel

4:07

like on every episode we have to because a lot of the

4:09

Internet stuff we talk about is just like people

4:12

being disadvantaged and what's funny about

4:14

that? Sometimes

4:16

it is funny though. So we

4:18

wanna kinda point out that the spectacle of

4:20

the floor demand is, you know, obviously,

4:22

red neckwear on display. And

4:25

that's it.

4:25

Hey. Yeah. And

4:28

I'll say, Yee, back to that. But

4:30

it's also, you know, like,

4:31

as that's funny, you know, red and extra funny,

4:33

it's also kind of rooted in mental

4:36

illness and poverty.

4:37

In heat. Oh, wait. You know, you were talking about

4:39

the serious aspects. Well, no. The heat

4:41

is serious. This humidity will make

4:43

you wanna kill somebody. So I

4:46

get it. I can only imagine what you guys go

4:48

through. It's

4:50

tough. It's really tough out here. Every

4:52

time I've come to Miami, I have never

4:54

experienced this or even in Vegas. It's not like

4:56

this. It's like, I am coming back to the hotels,

4:58

the sun's coming up, and y'all just fucking do

5:00

that here.

5:00

That's just like kind of normal, I guess.

5:02

So you guys need to get that check out.

5:04

Alright.

5:07

Let's get started.

5:07

Are you ready? Yes. You wanna have fun?

5:12

Okay. So I'll start reading. Ford

5:14

demand refers to an alleged prevalence of

5:16

male persons in female and non binary

5:18

people can be crazy too. Performing

5:22

Iraq

5:22

There we go. Thank

5:24

you, Owlette. Oh,

5:27

shit. Can I

5:29

I'm gonna watch you drink that. Seras

5:31

on antibiotics, so she can't drink.

5:34

Okay. So the floor demand is an Internet

5:36

main popularized in twenty thirteen and then

5:38

repopularized in twenty twenty. Internet

5:40

users typically submit links to news stories

5:42

and articles about unusual or strange

5:44

crimes and other events occurring in Florida

5:46

with the headlines off and literally having floor

5:48

demand mentioned in the titles or subtitles

5:51

of such news reports. The

5:53

Miami New Times claim that freedom of information

5:55

laws in to make it easier for a journalist

5:57

to obtain information about arrest from the police

5:59

than

5:59

in other states and that is responsible for the

6:02

large number of

6:02

news articles. We've been talking about this how

6:04

y'all just have, like, an open government. Did y'all

6:06

know that you have that here? Polyamics

6:09

government? Yeah. A lot of people in the front row

6:11

just

6:11

was that so, like, an open government

6:14

apparently is, like, you can search someone's, like,

6:16

first and last name and find their criminal

6:18

record pretty easy. Yeah.

6:20

I feel like dating should be, like, kinda easy

6:22

here because you can find out if they're a

6:24

murderer and if they're tall at the same time.

6:27

Literally. Yeah. It'll give you eye

6:29

color, height weight. Yeah. Their

6:31

profile says, like, six five, but then you go

6:33

to their arrest record, they're, like, five nine. You're,

6:35

like, alright, murderer

6:36

from South Beach.

6:37

And he's a liar. Yes,

6:40

ma'am. I

6:42

feel like that's

6:43

helpful. Because if you're, like, who is

6:45

this guy? Because we already are sloot Like, I

6:47

personally Google everyone

6:49

that I meet on interactive. Yes. And

6:51

so I feel like that's kind of a tool that we're not

6:53

tapping into as much as we should be. Mhmm.

6:55

Criminal record. I

6:57

feel like I if I was you, I

6:59

would look into it. I'm kinda just

7:01

like getting doing getting what I could

7:03

get, you know, sort of

7:04

situation. There's not as many female

7:06

serial killers.

7:07

That is true. Yeah. That is

7:09

true. But they are out there. I

7:11

lead Mornos. Florida.

7:13

Sorry. No

7:14

one cares. Is she from Florida?

7:16

Yeah. And

7:17

you guys got that going for you?

7:19

Sorry.

7:22

Right here.

7:22

A CNN article on the

7:25

main also suggested that the breadth of reports

7:27

of bizarre activities is due to a

7:29

confluence of factors, including public record

7:31

laws, giving journalists fast and easy access

7:33

to police reports. They're relatively high

7:35

and diverse population of the state. It's

7:37

high highly variable weather and gaps

7:39

in mental else funding. So I wanna

7:40

talk about the origin of the meme. The meme originated

7:43

in February of twenty thirteen. Can you

7:45

believe Fordman's been breaking

7:47

havoc? On online for that

7:49

one. With the Twitter

7:51

account at floor demand, which quoted

7:53

notably Strange or bizarre news headlines, and Sarah

7:55

said containing the words, floor demand.

7:58

Such as floor demand run over by van

8:00

after dog pushes accelerator.

8:02

Police

8:04

arrest floor demand for a drunken

8:06

joyride on motorized scooter

8:08

at Walmart.

8:09

Mhmm. But I kinda wanna,

8:11

like, divide this into two, like, people who

8:13

are on the receiving end of a Florida man

8:15

crime and then the floor demand themselves. Sure.

8:18

I feel like you could, like, double your

8:20

content right there. Yeah. You know, because getting

8:22

ran over by a dog is one thing. And then,

8:24

like, running over a dog is another

8:26

thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

8:28

I feel like also there's kind of in diagram

8:30

happening here of Walmart people in Florida,

8:32

man. Mhmm. It's a big

8:34

what did you say or So it was a fair

8:36

a circle. It's like

8:39

a rectangle, a square.

8:40

Oh, yeah. They're like rectangles?

8:42

A rectangles

8:43

are square Where's your rectangles, but

8:45

rectangles is not a

8:46

square? Yes. That's Walmart to Florida. We went

8:48

to school. Mhmm. You

8:49

guys are first or third in

8:51

education. Third in education.

8:54

Alright. Why?

8:59

Whoo. Yeah.

9:01

Shocking. I feel like everyone goes

9:02

to school here and then they leave.

9:04

Yeah. So what's left behind

9:07

is

9:07

floor demand. I feel like they go to school

9:09

here, leave, and then they come back as seventy

9:11

year old people.

9:12

Yeah. Yeah. Rich.

9:14

Who

9:14

refused to wear shirts or pants?

9:16

You know?

9:16

That's true. And just so much chest

9:19

hair. Yeah. I've never seen so

9:21

much fucking chest hair in gold chains when I'm in

9:23

Miami. Especially the the

9:25

women. Especially the women. It's

9:30

shocking or like a nude beach. It's just

9:32

because my dad told me growing up

9:34

when you spicy shit that he was like, watch

9:36

out. I'll put hair on your chest. So

9:38

until until I was like sixteen, I would eat like

9:40

hot Cheetos. I'd be like, was so

9:44

scared. Also, did you you were told that, like,

9:46

watermelon seeds would grow in your stomach? Yeah.

9:48

They do. So that

9:51

if you swallow gum, it stays there.

9:53

Yeah. Feel

9:54

like that one's might be true. I

9:56

feel like that encouraged me to, like, swallow

9:58

gum.

9:59

Oh, we're not gonna

10:00

help them all together. Fucking god.

10:03

What is, like, un chewed in the packet?

10:07

Stuff with the men. Baby barely

10:09

touched your microplastics for the day.

10:12

Just fucking them. I can

10:14

alright. Would you like to talk about the Oh, no.

10:16

No. I'm not done. Stay

10:18

there. The floor demand Twitter feed was

10:20

launched on January twenty six of twenty

10:22

thirteen, which featured news headlines containing the

10:24

keyword slaughterman. Within one month, the

10:26

account received over sixty four thousand

10:28

followers. That's like half the people

10:30

in this room.

10:31

That's

10:33

like almost the whole country. That's

10:36

the state of Florida.

10:40

The maintainer of the Puerto Rico,

10:41

Florida man, stated in twenty nineteen that

10:43

he had retired from creating tweets.

10:45

Mhmm. They put his Jersey in the rafters.

10:47

It just says

10:49

Florida Man sixty nine they're

10:51

just, like or, like, they have, like, a

10:53

military funeral, and then they float. Like, their left

10:55

cold is, like, flag. And they

10:57

Keep it to his wife. Yes. It's not it.

10:59

It's not it. Flags at half mass.

11:02

Lord demand, the day of Lord demand went down.

11:04

So there

11:05

was cultural spread

11:07

of Lord demand because obviously to

11:09

be viral. These things have to leave the state of

11:11

Florida, which I'm sure you guys love

11:13

that that shit shapes how people

11:15

see. Yes. Love

11:17

that. I'm from Texas and it's upsetting.

11:20

Yeah. You eat, but You eat sad.

11:23

You eat derogatory. It's

11:26

like, yeah, but I don't claim anything

11:28

that goes on there, man, left there.

11:30

But it's also it's wild because

11:33

I come here and I'm like, damn,

11:35

that's a Florida shit. Yeah. Because my parents are

11:37

in Destin, and I've seen some of the most

11:39

redneck YEE

11:40

bullshit of my life. On, like, highway

11:43

ninety eight. Mhmm. But

11:43

I feel like each state has, like, their

11:46

reputation. Like, Alabama probably doesn't like that

11:48

they're known for, like, in breeding.

11:49

So, like, you know, you're like, I hate that

11:51

everyone focus on how

11:52

we're doing it. You know? My

11:55

mother's side is all from Alabama.

11:58

Can't. Never mind. So

11:59

actually, that's really

12:02

funny. My brother is my second cousin.

12:04

That is not that is not

12:06

a lie. My

12:08

cousin

12:08

got pregnant when she was fifteen, and then

12:10

she gave up my brother for adoption. So I

12:12

could, oh, this is a gross joke. He

12:14

hates this. You know what? I won't do it. I could

12:16

hook up with my brother, but I wouldn't because I'm

12:18

gay.

12:18

And so everyone's

12:21

like, It's not the fact that he's your brother.

12:23

It's I would know. That's the funny part. That's

12:25

gross.

12:25

left.

12:28

That's good. Yes. My

12:30

Nana has one of

12:32

those situations too. She grew up with somebody in the

12:34

family called Uncle Dad. Yeah.

12:36

So take the girl

12:38

out of the south. Can you take the south out of

12:41

the girl? Would

12:44

you like to talk about the cultural spread? Yeah.

12:46

Sort of man spreading himself all over the

12:48

US. Very

12:48

thin. After the creation of the January

12:51

twenty thirteen, and it's ensuing popularization

12:53

on social media sites such as Reddit and

12:55

Tumblr, initially through the subreddit

12:57

r slash floor demand and the Tumblr

12:59

blog stuck in a bucket. The meme was

13:01

featured in numerous news articles and

13:03

stories throughout February of twenty thirteen.

13:06

What? What did you

13:06

say, Hector? You wanna speak up?

13:08

Are you talking shit?

13:09

We, like,

13:10

junk on the tables.

13:11

The

13:13

way to pay for everyone's drinks. Okay. So

13:15

floor demand was also referred to in the

13:17

opening episode of this is Stanley.

13:19

Floor demand was referred to in the opening

13:21

episode of Season two of the FX Show

13:23

Atlanta.

13:24

Thank you, Stanley for that. Stanley,

13:26

just, like, included so much research in

13:28

here that's, like, what the fuck? He was, like,

13:31

watching Atlanta just, like, and Fordman

13:33

was. Speaking of

13:34

which, and we're, like, that that means nothing

13:36

to anyone. It was referred to

13:38

by Darius as an alt right,

13:40

Johnny appleseed. Oh. That

13:42

sounds about right. Kind of. Yeah. Who commits

13:44

a variety of strange times Crimes in Florida,

13:46

and then on May twelve, twenty fifteen,

13:48

the Miami News Time published an article

13:51

titled How Florida's Proud Open Government

13:53

Laws lead to the shame of Florida Man

13:55

News Stories. Which side

13:57

of the state's Sunshine Act as a possible

13:59

cause for the bevy of

13:59

Florida Man news stories? Yeah. Yeah. I'll

14:01

just air out everybody shit.

14:03

I think there's like thirteen states with

14:05

an open government stays

14:06

with open.

14:07

What was that gonna say? Oh, I feel like

14:10

because

14:10

they said, oh, right, Johnny appleseed.

14:12

That's

14:12

implying that they feel like that's redundant.

14:14

But this

14:14

was redundant. Yeah.

14:18

Johnny obviously was a rage increases.

14:20

Alcohol like we all know that.

14:22

I feel like also the idea

14:24

of Florida Man is Robin Hood,

14:26

but just he just doesn't get back.

14:30

So just like a common

14:32

criminal. Yeah. Yeah. Named Robinhood.

14:34

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Who's

14:36

from Florida? Mhmm. But, I

14:38

mean, it is the Sunshine

14:40

What is that? What that's where, like, everything's under

14:42

the sun. Right?

14:43

The sunshine state. Yeah. No. The sunshine

14:46

act. Oh, so you see everything

14:48

under the sun? Yeah. Oh. Yeah.

14:50

It's all about the daylight. See

14:53

everything everybody does. I

14:55

feel like if I was if I were to have a porta

14:57

man story, I would be naked somewhere

14:59

-- Yeah. -- doing something generally

15:01

kind of naked. Could

15:02

I be naked with you? Yeah. So

15:05

it's like floor to people. I

15:07

just hate being left out.

15:09

Oh my god.

15:10

It's always how to swap people.

15:14

No. None of you watch some people. People

15:17

judge to watch Gator Boys. Yeah.

15:21

Fucking Gator boys. Love

15:24

Gander Boys. I used to think I could do that. You know

15:27

how they like tap them

15:27

on the nose and like sit on them and

15:29

just tape them around the mouth? Yeah. And I was

15:31

like, I watched about a season of it I was like,

15:33

I can

15:34

do that. I

15:35

feel like you could survive like a death

15:37

spiral, like at least a couple. Me?

15:39

Yeah. Thank you. And

15:43

then when it stops, like, the alligator has your hair

15:46

-- Yeah. -- and your tracks on?

15:47

Oh, they would just, yeah, rip my my

15:49

wig out.

15:51

When

15:58

she moved back to her hometown, Gia

15:59

never expected to run into Jack. But

16:02

when she sees him at the local dive bar, she

16:04

finds herself drawn to him all over

16:06

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slash VCG zuck

18:56

dot com slash VCG

19:05

Well, this is a quote from

19:06

that article that we were talking about twenty five

19:08

minutes ago. As journalist, all we have to

19:10

do in most cases is call the police department in

19:12

ask for an arrest report and the cops are required to give

19:15

it to us. Nowadays,

19:16

a lot of cops simply email the reports and

19:18

some departments even post arrest records

19:20

online. Some

19:21

of the more dedicated weird foreign news reporters go

19:23

through batches of arrest reports

19:25

at a

19:25

time. That's just

19:27

freaky. Everything is so public. Exactly.

19:31

On November first twenty eighteen, Desi Leitink

19:33

of The Daily Show filed a report comedically

19:35

investigating

19:35

the phenomenon of floor demand. So we've made it now

19:38

to national television. Mhmm.

19:40

Give a round of applause

19:41

for yourselves. National television.

19:44

Whoo.

19:45

In twenty eighteen, I

19:47

O Interactive released the stealth action video

19:49

game, hitman two. A

19:50

favorite of ours. Yes. We love it. I

19:52

love hitman

19:53

one. It's back

19:55

on the benches.

19:56

Too fast.

19:57

Too hitman.

19:59

In the game second level set in Miami,

20:02

Florida, the players can decide disguise

20:04

themselves as floor demand and owner of a

20:06

local food stand, the player can

20:08

use this the skies to poison and eliminate their

20:10

target. Also, who's

20:14

eating in a video game? Well, actually, do you like, I

20:16

guess, like, fuel don't know. never

20:18

played, like, a video game where you need health, and

20:20

you have to be like, webcans.

20:22

If you don't feed your

20:24

webcans and you're an entendox, they don't die, but

20:27

they do get, like, Mhmm. What

20:28

can you tell? Like, do they have, like, rib flares?

20:30

They have pit

20:33

dips on their webcans. I'm

20:36

like, you looks like, no.

20:39

I They're just like, eat

20:41

me, you know. Like,

20:41

great. Don't have any credits. I can't

20:44

hurt. Like, the introduction

20:46

fucking thirteen years. Oh, they're

20:48

dead. They are. Can

20:50

they die? I came in production?

20:52

No. Oh, okay. Glad to report they're

20:54

not bad. They're purgatory. Yeah.

20:57

Nice to be in the back of like, we had

20:59

a van growing up Sounds about right. Yeah. Well, the

21:01

Tomlinson plan traveled around on a van because

21:03

there was, like, seventeen of us. That would be in the back

21:05

of the van with my little Nintendo DS.

21:07

Just, like,

21:08

set Shit. Got

21:11

yelled at. Oh,

21:11

it's really fun. It's actually funny because

21:13

I did live in an RV for like -- Yeah.

21:15

That's right. -- a really long time. Well, you lived in that well,

21:19

lived, but we traveled in a conversion. Oh.

21:21

You know, like, when the cable guys come to set up your,

21:23

like, Internet or the satellite? Like,

21:25

a

21:25

white unmarked van is just your entire family.

21:28

Yeah. It

21:28

was gray. It was silver. That

21:31

literally was how I was dropped off at

21:33

school. It was it was a lot

21:35

it's shaped who I am as a person. Yeah. Honestly,

21:38

van dropped off in a van. We're like, are

21:39

you okay? Yeah. I mean, that's I've

21:42

been

21:42

dropped off in the RV, so I totally

21:44

get it. Just school? Yeah. And also, we took

21:46

it to college. My brother

21:47

and I went to the same college. So we, like, dropped

21:50

off all the stuff in the first year with him

21:52

and then me. With the

21:54

same Harvey. It's impossible to find parking

21:56

for an RV. Yeah. Yeah.

21:57

I can imagine. I should have a college

21:59

cadence. Sounds

22:01

fucking awful. A play titled Florida Man by Michael

22:04

Presley Bobit. Well, I

22:06

know you're just talking about the The character of

22:08

Florida Man

22:08

also makes an appearance in a level set

22:10

in Berlin, Germany at Hitman

22:12

three where their player can again take his disguise.

22:15

Because again, if you wanna fit in in

22:17

Berlin, Germany, you dress up like you're from

22:19

Miami, Florida.

22:20

I feel like what would be the attack weapon like

22:23

a possum?

22:23

Actually, wait. The clothes

22:26

are, like, similarly tight. So

22:28

I feel like you could I'm sorry, guys. Your clothes are

22:30

so tight. But if if

22:33

Europeans wear tight clothes too,

22:34

I feel like

22:35

Miami's more like, DBL Fashion

22:37

Nova Fashion.

22:38

And Berlin's just

22:40

like Emaciated

22:41

in ten dogs fashion. Yeah.

22:43

Yeah. That were, like, play this game

22:45

when I'm in Europe called, are they are these

22:47

men

22:47

gay or are they just Europeans? Yeah.

22:49

You know, it's like just the plunging

22:51

v necks, like showing more cleavage than

22:53

me, just super tight jeans. And most of the time,

22:55

they're just both gay and European. And most of the time,

22:57

they're making out with another man. And so it's

22:59

kind of hard in European

23:02

while they're actively making out with another man. Hard to

23:04

tell, and to try to decide if they want

23:06

me or not. Yeah. That's fine. Yeah.

23:08

It's it's hard.

23:10

Anyway, a play title in Florida. Sorry, Michael

23:12

Pressley,

23:13

Love him. Love him so much. Premier

23:15

July thirty one, twenty nineteen in New York's

23:17

Theatre, Row Studios. They wrote

23:19

a play about fucking Florida. What

23:22

the fuck? It's just

23:23

like nine eleven calls but like

23:26

transcribed.

23:26

So, like, describe what you're seeing, and

23:28

then you

23:28

just have to act out, like, what

23:30

the person is reading. Actually, that'd be a, like,

23:32

a really fun, like, improv exercise.

23:35

Like, acting out, like, what are you seeing? And then they're like,

23:37

I'm naked, and then

23:37

you're just supposed to, like, improv, like, being

23:40

nude. Your

23:40

headline is Florida. Frozen.

23:44

Frozen. Frozen. Frozen.

23:45

And

23:46

is naked. Yeah. And then you've packed

23:48

that. I

23:48

think that'd be really good. Should try

23:51

that sometime. When should do

23:53

you wanna

23:54

skip over the the West

23:56

Palm Beach stuff? We're not West Palm

23:58

Beach.

23:58

We had so many

23:59

Republican jokes planned, but they were

24:02

surprisingly liberal. It was really

24:04

fun.

24:04

I wanna do Republican jokes,

24:06

do Republican Oh, was

24:07

gonna make fun of the Republicans, but none of

24:09

them were

24:09

Republicans. So, like,

24:12

we were, like, we're

24:13

so West Palm Beach, I guess, is

24:15

three miles from Mar a Lago,

24:17

which Britney thought was fake.

24:19

Sarah

24:22

described it as the

24:23

dollywood of Republican.

24:24

What

24:27

are you talking about, dude? Come to find

24:29

out. It's Trump's resort. Yeah. So

24:31

I was like, if that's so

24:32

close, they might all be, like, Republicans. And

24:34

then we were, like, are you guys Republicans? And

24:36

they're, like, no. And we're, like, oh,

24:38

well, yeah. Never mind. me just scrap a

24:40

bunch of stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Do you have any

24:42

prepared? No. I have scraped it. That's

24:44

okay. Yes. So on

24:47

January twentieth of twenty thirteen,

24:49

redditor A

24:50

redditor submitted a post Big Stanley

24:53

fuck you, dude. Submitted

24:55

a post titled floor demand as a terrible

24:57

superhero, featuring a

24:59

screenshot of Google News Search results for News Stories containing the

25:01

keywords for Demand. Within one month, the

25:03

Post received over twenty two thousand

25:05

uploads.

25:06

Crazy. Mhmm. This

25:08

is just stupid

25:10

stats. Thanks, Stanley. Oh, on February

25:12

eighth, Slate published an article noting that

25:14

the floor demand profile app HR was a mugshot

25:16

of Indiana resident Ricky Lee

25:19

Kalicun. He's

25:20

from Florida. He's from Indiana.

25:22

The Florida of the middle of

25:24

the country.

25:25

Oh, wait. Yes. Okay.

25:26

Okay. So I was talking about this with a lot of

25:29

people. Why is, like,

25:31

Chicago not, like, the Middle East?

25:33

Like, why don't we call that the Middle East? Because it is

25:35

more east than west. Literally,

25:38

Idaho is the

25:40

mid Middle East.

25:42

Feel like Middle East is kind of occupied. You

25:44

know, people just like, know where

25:46

that is. People're like, wait, from from the

25:48

Middle East or from fucking Kansas. I

25:51

think it wouldn't be we wouldn't be

25:52

wrong. It just be like a weird way to say it.

25:54

True. Mhmm.

25:54

I've I've always wondered that what do they call

25:56

it the Midwest? It's

25:58

not west. Maybe the

25:59

pioneers were going west, and they were like, this is more

26:02

west than we were. They were like,

26:03

oh, yeah. We're good. Here we are. Yeah. This

26:05

is the middle case. Who

26:08

are we talking about? We were talking about

26:10

Ricky Lee

26:11

from Indiana. Indiana.

26:13

He was arrested in January of

26:15

twenty eleven after covering his

26:17

face in black marker and attacking his

26:20

neighbor with a sword. There

26:22

reminds me of, like, the new Batman movie,

26:24

the meme where everyone's like, you gotta put on

26:25

your eyeliner before you, like, fight crime

26:28

to be taken serious. Ricky Lee

26:30

is, like, naked on his way out of the house with

26:32

a sword and he's, like, fuck. Let me and then he

26:34

just, like, draws on his face a little bit

26:35

and, like, can you open my neck where, like,

26:38

three of the shadows are,

26:41

like, shattered and he's only using the

26:43

black and he's like, alright. He's Jeffrey

26:45

Star cosmetics palettes. He's, like, that's all I

26:47

have. Is that the kid that's just, like,

26:49

don't support him anymore. It's all I have. He's,

26:51

like, he, like, turns to his roommates. Like, guys don't

26:53

cancel me. It's all I have. And

26:55

then he, like, runs out the door with the sword. I feel

26:57

like we

26:57

get it. It's a good palette. Yeah. And quality.

26:59

So feel like these

27:01

kind of stories, it's like, where the fuck did you get a

27:04

sword dude? Mhmm. Where can you just like go

27:06

buy a sword? I

27:06

feel like I get a lot of smoke shops You

27:08

can buy, like, crystals and, like,

27:11

bongs and swords and What

27:13

weapons? Yes. Yeah. It's like a one

27:15

stop shop for, like, I don't know, a

27:17

fever dream. You know?

27:18

You're like, I

27:20

don't know. You can always buy, like, random,

27:22

like, katana's and stuff while you're

27:25

getting like, a vape. The last

27:27

time I was in a

27:27

smoke shop I was with my friend who has

27:29

a crippling addiction to Juul. And so we went

27:31

to a smoke shop trying to get some Juul pods before they

27:34

got, like, recalled or whatever. Like,

27:36

stocking up on him. And there

27:38

was this insane art I was

27:40

drunk. Insane art on the wall of

27:42

this shop, the smoke

27:44

shop. It was, like, spongebob and

27:47

Bugs Bunny and, like, Bob

27:48

Marley all smoking a book together. And

27:50

I was, like, It's not

27:53

real. Like, it's not a historical

27:55

photo. It's wild.

27:57

It's

27:57

so cool. Like, smoke shops are just, yeah, you

27:59

enter it and it's

27:59

like, this is it. Where

28:02

am

28:02

I? Everything you've ever needed

28:04

to decorate your bedroom is just right

28:06

there.

28:08

Well, interior design you could ever

28:10

want -- Exactly. -- walkie was like, what

28:12

year is it? In

28:14

the next several

28:16

days, completions of notable tweets from

28:18

Twitter account were featured on several Internet news

28:20

and tech vlogs, including The Daily Dot

28:23

LappingSquid. It's like the

28:25

CNN of the Internet, Gawker

28:27

Mashable and BuzzFeed. What's

28:29

the laughing squid? Imagine

28:31

getting your news from the laughing squid.

28:33

On that media bias chart,

28:35

they're the most like neutral. Yeah.

28:38

Lapping squid. We're just here to tell it how fucking

28:40

it is. They're right under like a NPR.

28:42

It's just a wrapping squid. It's

28:45

like, oh, shit. So on

28:48

February fourteenth Valentine's Day, NPR

28:50

I don't know why that was important. NPR broadcast

28:52

a new segment on all things considered

28:54

featuring audio clips of reporters reading

28:56

headlines containing Florida Mann. So it made

28:58

its way to NPR. Mhmm. The

29:00

final boss. Mhmm. This is kind

29:03

of just like dismal on

29:05

It

29:07

was

29:09

my butt, not the chair. It's

29:11

just farting. On February second twenty scene filmmaker

29:13

Sean Doone released a documentary titled Florida

29:16

Man, and it is

29:18

none of the you like when you watch documentary and

29:20

you're like, it's gonna be good where there's a

29:22

trailer and it's like dramatic music and it's

29:23

like, I didn't know he was

29:26

gonna tell you that. I'll

29:28

grow up next to him and he was

29:30

a normal boy. Like, that sort of shit where it's like -- Yeah.

29:32

-- this is just a documentary.

29:34

It's just fucking filming people outside of a seven

29:36

eleven -- Yeah. -- in Florida.

29:39

It's just like Drug.

29:43

Drug. Cut cut them

29:45

off

29:45

or go. It's

29:47

literally just like someone went to a gas

29:49

station and was just like

29:51

Yeah. It looks like the

29:53

like, it was Phil.

29:54

It looks

29:56

like he was filmed on someone's,

29:57

like, backup camera or,

29:59

like, a seven eleven, like,

30:02

security, like, footage. It just, like,

30:04

twenty four hour feed of, like, people just walking in and

30:06

just being normal. Yeah.

30:07

And then, like, this is,

30:08

like, a hard hitting news. Yeah. Ground

30:10

breaking evidence. Yeah.

30:12

It's just wild. It's called Florida Man. You

30:15

guys wanna watch it? Mhmm. That's

30:17

it. Just like

30:17

filming people from Florida. It is kind of sad

30:19

though. Britney was watching it and then listening to

30:22

Fleetwood Mac and then watching TikToks.

30:24

And it was so overwhelming to

30:26

be sitting next because the thing

30:27

is she was originally sitting across the room and I was

30:29

like, this is fine. And then she brought

30:31

everything over And I was like, hey, can you turn that you I know.

30:33

But I was like, can you turn that down? And she's like, why? And I was

30:35

like, it's overwhelming to be like, this close

30:37

and watching all this shit. She's

30:39

like a baby.

30:41

Act just like that that fucking

30:43

TikTok trend of like, you have

30:45

Netflix going, you have your music playing,

30:47

you're on your phone on Pinterest, and then

30:49

you're on, like, your laptop and then you're singing along to a

30:52

song. It's like not room for a single

30:54

thought in your brain. Did

30:56

that to you accidentally. Sorry about

30:57

that. And everything was

31:00

full deployed.

31:01

Yes. Fine. Would

31:03

you

31:03

like to talk about beer? Mhmm. So on March

31:05

ten, twenty fifteen, the Orlando Sentinel

31:08

reported that the Tampa Bay

31:10

craft brewery company's cigar

31:12

city brewing -- Terrible name. -- has launched

31:14

a beer brand name, floor demand double

31:17

IPA. That sounds awful.

31:18

It's just, like, dishwater with some cigarette

31:21

butts. It

31:21

is dipped. It's, like, a can of

31:23

skull with a lime wedge just, like, on

31:25

the side of it. That's literally what

31:27

it is, dip spit. It

31:30

is shot glass.

31:33

Gross

31:36

dude,

31:36

you guys ever drank a beer with, like, cigarettes in

31:39

it?

31:39

See, oh my god. Who the hell the

31:41

fuck of you? You did it. It was traumatic.

31:44

Yeah.

31:46

Oh, really?

31:47

Cool. There's literally the

31:49

last two crowds. We're like, no. And then

31:51

there was so many yeses. You guys are

31:54

foul.

31:54

Okay. No. But I've done that.

31:56

You know, like, you gotta I also

31:58

would just go in South Carolina

31:59

so I get it. Yeah,

32:03

like, you grab a beer that's open and you're

32:05

like, I'll drink this.

32:06

I I've never really shitted.

32:08

I think I I've definitely been roofing, but

32:10

at that not at that point, Not

32:12

yet. A presently not that night. Yeah.

32:14

A different night. Yeah. It was also

32:17

have spoke a cigarette from the wrong end on

32:19

accident.

32:19

You can,

32:21

like, feel, like, your brain, like,

32:24

dying. Because

32:24

you're just, like, oh, there was, like, this

32:26

huge, like,

32:27

plastic factory, like, burning in, like,

32:29

California, and they, like, blocked off, like, five miles. And

32:31

I was, like, it'll be fine if I go for a

32:33

walk. Literally, I I

32:35

couldn't see And so I was like,

32:37

I should turn around. This is serious.

32:38

Wow. Yeah. So don't breathe in

32:41

plastic. Yes, sir. You've had

32:42

your lifetime supply

32:45

of microplastics. Mhmm. I have. You're

32:47

good. I need to catch up

32:49

chewing some Polly Pocket parts.

32:51

Anyway, this

32:54

beer literally has a picture of Ricky

32:56

Lee, our Indiana abs. Not even

32:58

from Florida. It's not even fucking from

33:01

here to According to the

33:03

breweries spokesperson, the micro brew has a

33:05

bright citrus y hop character with

33:07

hints of tiny resin.

33:08

There's that plastic. Here's

33:09

the plastic. Yeah. Africa,

33:11

peach, orange, and lemon on a solid

33:13

malt background. You know, I used to think malt I

33:15

used like a la carte beverage. It's like whitecloths or

33:17

malt beverages and like wine coolers. That's

33:19

a malt

33:20

was, like, Guinness. I thought malt

33:22

was a milkshake. What? Not malt

33:24

like a malt milkshake? Oh. Or like

33:27

malt Malton oh, who is malt not like

33:29

Guinness? Malte is like

33:31

a what is malt? Time

33:32

to Google. Is

33:36

it's like Barbie?

33:38

Is

33:39

it dark?

33:41

Bread. Oh.

33:43

It's like

33:44

a yeast infection.

33:46

I'm sorry, guys.

33:48

I'm starting to get a yeast infection

33:51

right now.

33:52

Okay. So I'm on alright.

33:55

I'm on antibiotics because I

33:56

tore my butt hole open.

33:59

Yes. And

34:03

she's wearing

34:09

white pants. I am I'm wearing

34:14

I'm also wearing

34:16

my show I'm also wearing my show panties. So these

34:18

are the only this is the only white song I've

34:20

owned, so I have to wear them. It's your

34:21

bridal suit.

34:24

Yeah.

34:24

My mother passes down to

34:27

me. I watched my father, like,

34:30

the elastic's kind of

34:34

stretched. Who when I was

34:35

thinking that my dad took it off my mom during wedding ceremony, but that's a Garter

34:37

Bell. Oh. Could you imagine going for, like,

34:39

the underwear during, like, a wedding?

34:41

It's just my a

34:43

fink's period and

34:44

something off under my tree.

34:46

A full body space with your

34:50

mouth. Ecosystem growing

34:52

in there. Yeah.

34:54

Shit. So

34:55

basically, antibiotics, like, really messed with

34:57

the PH of your protein.

34:59

So that's where that was

35:01

coming from. Salt liquor --

35:04

Yeah. -- is

35:06

a type of mass market beer. With

35:08

high alcohol content. Is it dark when it's

35:10

in the bottle? Or is it light when

35:12

it's

35:12

in the bottle? Oh, I don't

35:14

know, because malt white clogs are

35:17

considered a malt beverage. Then what is malt

35:19

liquor? Legally, it often includes any alcoholic beverage

35:21

with five percent or more

35:23

alcohol by volume. We have with

35:26

Molted Barley. Whoever said Barley, you work in a

35:28

brewery.

35:30

But

35:32

she's like You know, I just

35:35

like to drink. Yeah. It's fine. Well

35:38

Okay.

35:39

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37:17

The pork

37:21

is the

37:24

burrito. Mhmm. What is your

37:26

your go to like you

37:29

like

37:29

those toppochiko seltzers?

37:31

Yeah. Or wine

37:33

or Jack Daniels. Or

37:35

moonshine. That's only

37:38

because I just run okay.

37:40

Because I have a drinking problem.

37:42

And so If you drink, you can't enjoy

37:45

drink. This is an alcoholic speaking. Okay. If

37:47

I'm gonna drink something, I have to

37:49

make myself slow down. So I have

37:51

to drink something that's physically disgusting. You know?

37:53

Holy shit. So you kids yeah.

37:56

You do you make that carrot

37:57

juice drink that you like. Oh,

37:59

no.

37:59

That's I drink that in the morning. That's just carrot juice

38:02

and ginger beer. That's that's not

38:04

alcoholic. Sounds delicious. It's

38:06

really good. Because

38:06

I was drinking in the morning. I literally make

38:08

that for my breakfast. I

38:11

have such

38:12

a massive

38:14

fucking

38:14

problem. Alright.

38:16

So there was a a trend that was called the

38:18

floor demand challenge -- Mhmm. -- where

38:22

here in, the subject

38:24

would google floor demand and their birthday

38:26

and come up with a headline.

38:28

Mine

38:29

is a floor demand steals

38:32

alligator from

38:32

golf course. Tries

38:33

teaching it a lesson

38:34

by throwing it on the roof of

38:37

the par.

38:39

though Sounds pretty accurate

38:40

to both of us. Trying to think about how

38:42

big the alligator was or how

38:44

strong the men were. That's always my

38:46

question

38:46

is when it's like

38:48

Ford a man. Fucking man handles Gator. It's like, did you is

38:51

it like a tail, like, yeah.

38:54

Or is it like one

38:56

of the big girls where you

38:58

gotta sit on the back and, like -- Mhmm. --

39:00

tape them out. But then again, how do you pick it

39:02

up? Yes. So on Gator Boys, it takes two

39:04

grown men. To lift the gator

39:06

into the back of a truck. So me,

39:08

I've seen

39:09

it. So it's always

39:10

like I don't know when gators are involved

39:12

and how often are they dead? Mhmm.

39:15

Like,

39:15

just throwing dead gators

39:17

at people. That literally would be, like,

39:19

the premise of Schauer that someone's

39:21

like, well, the gators are in

39:23

the pool again. Can we get Sean to

39:25

come out and gotten there? Like, missus Taylor. We're about there in twenty

39:28

minutes. And it's someone in the

39:30

t shirt

39:31

Bald, missing a few

39:33

fingers, barefoot, cargo shorts, and the

39:36

truck with, of course, the man with the

39:38

beard

39:38

and the cowboy

39:40

hat. And they get in the truck and they're

39:42

like, where's your fucking originator? Wait. It's like the it's like the

39:44

Redneck

39:44

version of mythbusters. Yeah. Pretty much.

39:46

Like,

39:46

it's like those two guys with shirts

39:49

on or shoes? Yes.

39:52

Pretty much. Yeah.

39:53

Except they're testing the the

39:55

limits of science. And then

39:58

both shows

39:59

the laws of nature is really what we're

40:02

testing here. They show

40:04

up and they're

40:04

just like he gets in the pool with just

40:07

a

40:07

fucking GoPro strap to his forehead

40:09

and like a fishing net with a

40:11

GoPro on it. And he's like,

40:14

Mear. And fucking do it, like, if fucking

40:16

speaks English and he gets in the pool and it's

40:18

always like the

40:20

swampiest, mossiest, nasty algae pool you've ever seen. Like, these people

40:22

clearly don't use this pool, but they don't

40:24

want you to get the geyser. You see, like,

40:26

the

40:26

pool back like, still going now. Just like

40:28

slowly off the wall. Yes. Oh,

40:32

wait. Someone in the trash bag

40:34

too. It's

40:34

all he gets in

40:36

and he's like, gets the gator somehow. And he does

40:38

the death spiral and whatever. And then the they

40:41

double double team him and

40:42

pull him up onto the shore, the

40:44

backyard -- Yeah. --

40:45

by his tail. And

40:47

they rattle him for a little bit and

40:49

someone gets on his

40:50

back and they literally use like electrical tape,

40:52

like almost scotch tape to

40:54

tape It's like packing tape. Literally. It's it's like tape

40:56

because once you immobilize the jaw I

40:58

never think about gators. Once you immobilize the

41:02

jaw, can't bite you anymore. They're really

41:04

not a threat. Yeah.

41:08

Trust me.

41:10

But they're There's still, like,

41:10

five hundred pounds. So back to your birthday article,

41:13

how big do you think the Gator was that landed

41:15

on the road? It had to be

41:17

a little baby gator. Yeah. But throwing a child, that's

41:19

not gentle parenting. That's true. Mhmm.

41:21

He'll never learn. He's just gonna repeat

41:23

the behavior. He's built the

41:26

gator will. Do you

41:27

have any more birthday stories? One year I got

41:29

some of my wasps on my

41:30

birthday. No. Not I meant, like,

41:34

like, cater.

41:36

What

41:37

wait. Actually, yeah. Do you guys ever

41:39

get so, like, happy that

41:41

you throw up?

41:42

You're, like,

41:44

covered in vomit? Yes.

41:48

I do. gonna

41:52

wait around the table. So

41:54

I was gonna say, like, the

41:56

crazy

41:56

well, you said, boss, craziest

41:59

thing that happened on

41:59

my birthday was like, I was like, I got everything I wanted, and then it just threw up

42:02

all over myself.

42:04

I said,

42:04

I've never been so happy. I

42:08

wasn't even drunk. What?

42:12

How old are

42:14

you? He's like three years ago.

42:17

So wanted to confirm

42:19

you. Yeah. No. It's like

42:21

white formula came up out of

42:23

your mouth. Sorry, sir.

42:26

It gets excited. Can we y'all throw out some birthdays? We can

42:28

Google what's

42:29

it? August fifteenth,

42:34

January fifteenth. February

42:36

fifteenth,

42:36

d day.

42:38

That's

42:40

not correct

42:41

not correct. Your

42:43

mom's birthdays

42:47

today? What's oh, I'm sorry.

42:49

What's today, September first? We'll do

42:52

September first. We wish

42:54

her happy birthday.

42:56

Okay. Do you want me to read

42:58

your birthday thing? Oh,

43:02

you know, it's birthday,

43:04

girls. My computer keeps shutting off.

43:06

Naked, stop. Seriously. There's

43:08

just so much porn. Okay. Naked, Florida Man,

43:10

Naked floor demand starts house fire. Come on. House fire.

43:13

I got it. While baking good oh,

43:15

no. That's not fun. What's

43:18

yours? Oh,

43:19

no. You didn't finish it. It keeps shutting

43:21

off. Naked Florida Man starts House Fire

43:23

while baking cookies on George

43:26

Forman Grill. That's

43:28

yours. This is September

43:31

first. Florida man, claiming people

43:33

were eating his

43:34

brains,

43:36

leave police on insane

43:38

golf course, Chase.

43:42

Nice. Mhmm. Wait. Well, there's one

43:44

over here. Seven eleven,

43:46

July eleven, and

43:49

we'll

43:49

do June eighteen.

43:52

June eighteen

43:53

Ford, man. I was a

43:56

woman. It

43:56

wait a while. I don't know if

43:58

that was a bad or

43:59

good reaction. June eighteenth,

44:02

Florida Man and Kalpa JAMA is among

44:04

six arrested

44:04

on drug charges. Have

44:07

a good day. July

44:10

eleventh for a man. I

44:12

hope

44:12

when y'all said seven eleven because

44:14

if you didn't, that's embarrassing. No.

44:18

Actually,

44:18

i

44:22

September. I know more people

44:24

born on fucking nine eleven

44:26

than anyone in my life. Some of you bitches are

44:28

lying. Literally

44:28

no. No. No. Britney, it's

44:31

okay. September ninth through the fifteenth

44:33

are the most common birthdays because it's nine months after New Year's

44:35

Eve. Well, that's unfortunate. So there's there's

44:37

more virgos in the

44:40

world than

44:40

Anyone would like.

44:42

Yes.

44:46

Sorry. I love you guys. Well,

44:47

here's your nine eleven birthday, four demand

44:49

accused of beating spin on

44:51

elderly victim. Lord demand spots

44:54

firefighter running toward Angel in

44:56

clouds

44:57

on September eleven. And they included

44:59

a picture. It was just someone like cloud

45:01

gazing.

45:01

They were like, look

45:02

at this fucking idiot. This

45:05

slow

45:05

news day when you're reporting

45:06

on, like, someone, like, who thought they saw something

45:08

in a cloud? Yeah. Calling 911

45:11

Here's the man in

45:14

the cloud. He's talking to me. That's

45:16

just god. And then operator's like, what

45:18

does

45:18

he look like? A firefighter.

45:20

What is he doing?

45:22

Looking. White

45:24

and fluffy. It's a cloud.

45:26

It moved. Never

45:28

mind. Well, that

45:30

was fun.

45:32

Yes. Lisa

45:38

threatens.

45:41

Florida man in cases, self in

45:44

concrete at

45:45

governor's mansion. Oh,

45:48

like, how did he

45:50

do that? Holy shit.

45:52

Oh my god.

45:53

It was a fifty five gallon

45:55

plastic drum and he filled it with concrete and

45:57

then he put himself in

46:00

it. That's, like, the

46:03

worst

46:03

birthday gift ever, and it's so hard

46:06

to unwrap. It's

46:08

just a man encased in

46:09

a fucking concrete. It's just like

46:12

it like marble. It's not like

46:13

chocolate where you get like that

46:15

tiny hammer. You tried to find, like, the gift inside. Yeah.

46:17

Except it's a chisel and a that guy.

46:20

Yeah.

46:20

Well, that was

46:22

the poor demand challenge. There

46:24

are related related instances of,

46:26

like, Florida Man -- Mhmm. -- who aren't

46:28

from Florida.

46:30

There's

46:30

Columbia Man shortly after

46:32

the viral takeoff of Florida Man in

46:34

late February screenshots and tweets of headlines

46:37

describing bizarre news story about a Colombian

46:39

man began emerging on Twitter and Tumblr.

46:41

On February twenty eight, twenty thirteen, Tumblr

46:43

blogger, red suspenders, posted an

46:45

image compilation of Columbia

46:48

Man headlines, Would

46:48

you like to

46:49

read some? I would. Colombian man is holding a census for

46:52

ghosts. My

46:54

mom was

46:54

there probably. Yeah. There's,

46:57

like, one of those, like, detectors where it's, like, if you're registered

46:59

to vote, like, beep once.

47:02

Yeah.

47:02

If he the person that goes

47:05

out there, say that. It's on the

47:07

guest book. It's like, are

47:09

you Newsom or

47:10

Smith? And then they're like,

47:11

yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or No.

47:13

I got it. I was on the

47:15

same way.

47:15

Columbian Man describes his twenty years living in

47:17

a sewer. What?

47:20

Columbian Man gets driver's license

47:22

suspended for nine hundred years.

47:25

What do you have to do

47:26

to get your trackers license suspended for nine

47:28

hundred years? And not go

47:29

to jail. It's just suspended. You brought

47:32

more than

47:32

three point four fluid ounces over

47:35

You're done. Give me that

47:37

real idea, Matt.

47:38

Clubby

47:40

a man killed by flying toilet.

47:44

That'll do it. That'll get you. Mhmm.

47:46

There's another one called

47:47

drunk humans. On February

47:50

twentieth, Twitter

47:50

dunk humans is created

47:52

to provide the latest updates on police news

47:54

reports and offbeat stories involving individuals

47:56

described as drunk man or drunk

47:59

woman. Unfortunately,

47:59

no drunk. Not

48:01

by many people. You guys are not included. Yeah.

48:04

You

48:04

guys are notoriously sober.

48:06

Famously. Mhmm.

48:08

I feel like that's

48:10

just how many of that is people sending in videos with

48:12

their friends? Uh-huh. You look so tall. Yeah.

48:14

And then they get, like, kicked out of college or

48:16

something. Yeah. It's just like

48:17

a girl named, like,

48:20

Alyssa, like, throwing up in the toilet and they're like, oh my god, this is so fucking funny.

48:22

Yeah. So is it though it seems like she's

48:24

no pants on, you know? She's her

48:26

best friend.

48:26

Violation of privacy

48:28

somehow in some way. I

48:30

don't know. There's also

48:31

shirtless man on March sixteenth, Twitter

48:33

account shirtless man was launched

48:35

in a similar vein. I wonder we're a shirtless woman. Come

48:38

on, guys. What do you wanna see

48:39

the shirtless woman?

48:42

Put her up on

48:44

the screen.

48:44

Was launched at

48:46

a similar pace to the previous accounts, which

48:48

gained more than six thousand one hundred followers

48:51

in less than two weeks. It's

48:53

actually pretty lame. On October twenty

48:54

eighth, the Daily Dot published

48:55

an article about the

48:57

spin off account. And

48:59

then there's the Florida Man subreted. You can't

49:02

beat

49:02

Florida Man. Mhmm.

49:10

So we do

49:10

need to like we mentioned at the beginning, if you

49:12

want to. Do you want to touch on this?

49:14

Yeah.

49:14

We have to be serious.

49:16

So yeah. You go

49:18

ahead. Okay. So millions around the world

49:21

were enthralled to discover tales of drunken

49:23

Florida citizens crashing their lawnmowers

49:25

into police cars. Pulling alligators from their yoga pants

49:27

during routine traffic stops or setting fire

49:30

to a licensed registration gator

49:32

or setting fire to

49:34

their houses

49:36

while trying a barbecue cookies in the nude. Little wonder

49:38

perhaps that some are attempting to monetize

49:40

the concept by trademarking the term, Florida Man,

49:43

and selling t shirts and coffee mugs, and the cable

49:45

network is pressing ahead with plans to give the

49:47

state's most dysfunctional superhero his

49:49

own primetime show. Capitalism.

49:52

It'll

49:52

do it. I imagine,

49:53

is it gonna be, like, cops, but just, like,

49:55

someone with the iPhone, like, eleven on

49:57

the on the sidewalk? Just

49:58

feel What are the people from Florida? I don't know. I

50:00

really don't know. I feel like I was like, who would watch this?

50:03

But I

50:03

grew up watching Turtle Man. I

50:05

remember Turtle Man.

50:08

Yeah. Is it where is it the same concept as, like,

50:10

two

50:10

guys who look like mythbusters? Two guys

50:13

one cup? Yeah.

50:13

Two guys who look

50:16

like mythbusters. It's

50:18

it's basically Turtle Man was they would

50:20

call Turtle

50:21

Man to come up there and get wild

50:23

animals. They'd be like,

50:24

we got a recording in a

50:26

garage. They turn every,

50:28

like, I'm on my way. Yeah. And

50:30

he's barefoot. Yep. It has short tooth

50:32

twos teeth. Yes. He's

50:34

It's around his neck. classic turtle man.

50:38

Damn, you guys are drinking tonight.

50:40

Yeah.

50:42

Almost. Another

50:44

round. Another round.

50:46

You find weird

50:48

stuff going on

50:51

anywhere find people, but Florida's absolutely the gold standard

50:53

said Craig Pittman, a Tampa Bay Times

50:55

journalist and author of The New York Times Best

50:57

Cellular of Florida. And New York

50:59

Times bestseller means nothing at this point. I

51:02

feel like every person has been on the

51:04

New York Times bestseller. You sell

51:06

twenty

51:06

five books and they're like, God Damn their best self You

51:08

shot to number one. Yes.

51:10

Number one on the chart. No

51:12

one's reading. No. Everyone forgot how to read.

51:15

So Florida

51:16

Man Pittman says, could be anyone from the twenty

51:18

one million people in Florida male or female?

51:20

Again, non binary people,

51:22

you guys don't exist. Not Florida. Well,

51:24

me. Literally. It's become this all

51:26

encompassing stereotype of a bulging, often

51:30

inebriated person and doing something ridiculous

51:32

are clearly insane and the very least in kangrios. In kangrios?

51:34

In kangrios? Congress.

51:36

and girl

51:37

In congress? They're in

51:39

congress. Congress. They said it. Oh, said his

51:41

god. It goes straight

51:43

to the top. They

51:46

got to put you on

51:47

our government. Biden. I

51:49

mean, I feel

51:51

like it's it's

51:54

very much said

51:56

at the beginning, it's poverty and

51:58

income

51:58

inequality on display.

51:59

Mhmm. And that really makes it, you know,

52:01

like, when you're

52:04

a

52:04

victim of the opioid crisis and you've got all these

52:07

factors working against you.

52:08

You know, it's you act out and

52:11

it's fucking hot. And so that makes

52:13

sense why people kind of hacked pocket because even I've had some family

52:16

vacations ruined by just the

52:18

heat. Yeah. Start

52:20

yelling for no reason. It's a

52:22

world trip. It's just gone to shit. Oh

52:24

my god. Every, like, drive to a

52:26

theme park with my family has been, like,

52:29

thirty minutes in, my dad has to step out, like, pull over

52:31

on the side of the highway and just,

52:33

like, scream. Like,

52:36

yeah. Yeah. And

52:38

then my mom's like, you know he gets overwhelmed.

52:40

We were just breathing away.

52:43

I always I get it

52:45

now though

52:45

as an adult, like, little

52:48

things that people do. I'm like, I get it.

52:50

Girl trips. Girl trips did. Mhmm.

52:52

I'm the friend that plans everything. So

52:55

when you're when you're

52:58

that friend and people are

53:00

non responsive, don't pay their

53:02

part, don't fucking respond

53:04

to tax. It's like,

53:06

do you wanna go or

53:08

not? Let me know. And so

53:10

it's it's very much like, I

53:13

get it. Yeah. The

53:14

position of the dad. Yeah. You know, it's like, you kids. I told you to

53:16

get in the court, seven thirty, seven fifty

53:18

five. Yeah. You're gonna check-in at

53:22

three. Like I get it now. So

53:24

I I called my dad the other day and I was

53:26

like, sorry. Yeah. So that

53:28

was kind of a shithead as a kid. I'm

53:30

sorry about that. He's

53:31

like, who is this.

53:32

How'd you get this number? My

53:36

dog actually came

53:38

to

53:38

the early Nando Show? Oh, Her

53:40

dad came. It was super sweet. True.

53:42

Mhmm. Yeah. He

53:44

said, I don't appreciate your language, but

53:46

you guys are funny together. That

53:48

actually worried me

53:49

because I was gonna talk about why my butt hole ripped open?

53:51

And then We do. Yeah. And

53:53

she's like, my parents are here.

53:55

And I was like, It

53:57

will not stop me and it

54:00

didn't.

54:00

They don't even know. They don't even know. Say

54:02

it. Alright.

54:05

So my business manager whom I've never met is also

54:07

here tonight. So Travis, I'm so sorry

54:10

in advance.

54:10

Hey,

54:13

Travis. We don't eat

54:13

up the red sweet other. We don't eat Travis. Hey.

54:17

Whoa. Okay. So

54:21

I remember by Buffaloven doing anal in the

54:23

shower on Sunday morning.

54:25

The

54:29

Lord No. I was gonna say the Lord's day.

54:31

So then right after, I went to a

54:32

party city to buy a gun.

54:36

A fake gun, and I felt my stomach like gurgling.

54:38

And so I was like, oh my god, I need to

54:40

shit. So that but it was one of those

54:42

bathrooms where I needed the employee to open

54:44

the dorm with a key. And so

54:46

since there's a lot of there was, you know, a lot

54:48

of crime in the area, he kinda stood outside

54:50

the door while I, you know, but I couldn't

54:52

I didn't even sit down all the way when I

54:55

just shit blood all over the

54:57

toilet. And I mean, like, a lot.

55:00

And so

55:00

I did clean it up, but he heard it.

55:02

It was like, you know, a car backfiring.

55:05

And

55:05

so I was like,

55:08

with the trajectory

55:08

of the blood and the splash pattern,

55:10

that's that's not my period. So

55:12

a forensic analyst come in. I'm like, a lot.

55:14

CSI. I think I'm like fingerprints, homeless.

55:17

She's

55:17

just crying. She

55:18

was a lesbian.

55:21

I'm still, like, shirtless on the pot, like, walking

55:23

back and forth while they're doing

55:25

their investigation. What were

55:27

the most spaceways? Okay.

55:29

So I was like, I need to go to urgent care,

55:31

and this is the part that I thought was funny. The guy

55:33

at urgent care was like, you've been here before.

55:36

And

55:36

I was like, I have I

55:38

went here two months ago when I broke

55:40

my nose eating Poche.

55:42

If you

55:45

were, like, Like, how does that happen? And

55:47

it's when

55:47

someone sits on your face way too

55:50

hard? Yes. Is I

55:52

think you being a

55:54

poor recipient

55:54

recipient or

55:56

them being too aggressive?

55:58

It's

55:58

me not knowing my

55:59

limits. Okay. Got to

56:02

learn something else. But like my

56:04

weight class, I don't

56:04

know. Like, you know, like, I needed

56:06

someone to squat. Like like, when someone's, like,

56:08

stands behind you at a bench? Father.

56:11

But I need someone to spot me, and I just thought I could

56:13

do it myself. Okay. So

56:16

that hurt and that's when I saw that guy again.

56:18

And then the two months

56:20

before that, I got a kidney I got UTI so bad. It turned into a kidney

56:22

infection. And I didn't I did

56:23

go in the hospital and I was there for

56:25

four hours and they put me in

56:26

a wheelchair because I was literally screaming help me.

56:29

But then I went up to the nurse and she's like, if

56:31

you're not having a heart attack or you could still breathe, then

56:33

we're gonna see you in two hours. And

56:35

I was like, damn, then I

56:37

went back to screaming and then she was like, you could go

56:39

to urgent care. So I went to urgent

56:40

care and met that guy for the actually second

56:42

time because a year before that, I

56:44

I met him when I got hit by a car.

56:46

Okay. But this

56:49

one's

56:49

really funny. So it was right

56:51

before Christmas. Yes. I do say Christmas.

56:53

If so,

56:56

I have I know we're in the

56:57

south.

56:59

Okay. But I got hit

57:01

by a car crossing the street, and I was wearing, like, this, like, nutcracker sweater.

57:03

And I rolled it up a little bit. Nuts on it. Yeah.

57:05

It had nuts. Like, actual

57:08

nuts. And because it was from Spencer's, I just did a deal. But I

57:10

rolled up on this guy's hood, I roll off,

57:12

and then he rolls down the window, and he's

57:14

like, I'm so sorry, I have to go.

57:17

Maybe

57:17

it drives off. And so

57:19

I go to the I I

57:20

have to go pick up the stuff, but my ankles were black

57:23

for, like, two weeks and I went to the urgent

57:25

care. So I when this guy was like, I've seen you before,

57:27

I was like, yes. You have you the one who,

57:29

like, signed me in, feel like the past, like, four

57:31

times I've met you. And

57:33

I think that we should just be

57:35

friends at this point. So, yeah, that's why I tore my butt hole.

57:37

Back

57:41

to Florida man. Anyway, Florida man. Yes. And

57:43

Marco, can we get the

57:45

HDMI? It's working.

57:50

Marco.

57:50

We have some examples of Florida Man headlines. What's

57:52

up, Larry?

57:56

The rap, sure. We can talk

57:58

to you.

57:59

Rapture to Miami and Bravo.

58:02

Yes. I mean, like, it's like a

58:03

reverse rapture where we just, like,

58:05

go to hell.

58:08

They finally come for us. Mhmm. Alright, Marco. You

58:11

let

58:11

me know Marco Polo.

58:13

What's going on, man?

58:16

Anyway,

58:16

the last time I was at steering those

58:19

urgent care way more than I do. But the last time I

58:21

was urgent care was because I rolled my

58:23

ankle as well But it's not like

58:25

a cool story like that. It's like, I was doing this. I think that was a cool

58:27

story. I think your I think some of your stories are cool.

58:29

I would say that.

58:32

But

58:32

but Marco,

58:34

we're gold. Jesus. Thank you.

58:36

We said that to him and I was like,

58:38

do people say

58:38

that a lot and he's like, yes. Yeah. He

58:41

got a deep side.

58:42

Mhmm. Yes.

58:44

I'm

58:44

here to talk to you guys

58:46

about the show. Mhmm. Anyway, I wrote

58:48

my uncle just walking, and it

58:52

turned so Is that

58:53

you? That was that Markov? No. That was just not joke. Yeah. Like,

58:56

I'm I'm

58:56

I'm I'm apologize. They

58:58

said I

58:59

told Markov once again.

59:01

Don't plug

59:04

me

59:04

if I can. May I plug it up there? Yes.

59:06

Yeah. Cool. I'm gonna unplug it because that's

59:08

as far as my expertise. Thank

59:10

you. Slow.

59:10

Thank you. Slow.

59:13

the

59:16

Alright, Marco.

59:16

marco

59:17

Oh, WildBrain is getting

59:19

that worked on. She didn't she

59:21

didn't think this was funny, but I did.

59:23

So we did this last night with

59:25

the West Palm Beach crowd. And

59:27

we did like Florida Man Stories. And there was

59:29

one Florida Man who threw a gator through

59:31

a Wendy's window. And a girl in

59:34

the crowd was like, that's

59:36

my

59:36

brother. And he was hot. He was hot. The mugshot

59:38

was hot. But he's like, he's kinda cute

59:40

and she's like, he's

59:42

dead.

59:43

Immediately. Just like

59:46

I

59:46

felt my butt hole suck

59:49

up into my son.

59:49

And he's like, I'm

59:52

so sorry.

59:53

Yeah. Fuck. But then she came to

59:55

the meet and greet and was really lovely. A

59:57

huge Harry Styles fan. Yeah.

59:59

I felt

1:00:03

super

1:00:04

fucking bad

1:00:08

about that. Alright. What's going

1:00:08

on? Should we Do we need a do

1:00:10

we need an intermission?

1:00:12

You know, literally, can

1:00:15

you guys see? She was just a

1:00:17

singer, Siri, doing great. How about We just I'm trying to think of another

1:00:19

personal story that no one

1:00:22

was here.

1:00:25

That's

1:00:27

okay. If this

1:00:29

doesn't work, can you all get your

1:00:31

money back?

1:00:32

I'm joking. Anyway,

1:00:36

we

1:00:37

want to read We

1:00:40

want to throw it up here, but

1:00:42

there's four demand headlines. That are

1:00:44

so awful. Then we

1:00:46

wanna put them up there and react to them and some of them have

1:00:48

pictures associated, we can do

1:00:50

it without it. So, Marco, if you can't get it

1:00:53

to work, I forgive you, and I love

1:00:55

you very much. Mhmm. And she

1:00:56

is single, if you would. And I do.

1:00:58

I do. I actually,

1:01:00

I do have a TikTok crush right now, Samarko. I'm

1:01:02

actually unavailable. I'm tick Due to British. You're

1:01:05

wait, though. You

1:01:05

have a crush. That doesn't mean that you're unavailable.

1:01:08

Save it myself or Mary. To him.

1:01:12

Alright. Let's read some headlines.

1:01:15

I literally can't open anything. Yeah.

1:01:16

I can't even stop shit.

1:01:19

We're gonna restart our

1:01:22

computer. Sorry, guys.

1:01:24

It's the heat. It is the heat.

1:01:26

He's a

1:01:30

ten. Is that what's

1:01:32

wrong

1:01:32

with dating men in Miami?

1:01:35

If he said

1:01:38

candidate, he lives in Miami. He's just

1:01:42

Latino. Nothing wrong

1:01:44

with that. Oh,

1:01:46

shit, you're right. Well,

1:01:48

I

1:01:49

was trying to tell

1:01:51

Sarah about, like,

1:01:52

why is Miami so

1:01:55

different than, like,

1:01:56

New York or LA.

1:01:59

Like

1:01:59

because it's a work.

1:02:02

Yeah. Okay.

1:02:04

Relax. I think that,

1:02:06

like,

1:02:07

because there's rich fucking people

1:02:09

in Miami. Yeah. There's rich

1:02:11

people in New York in LA, but I feel

1:02:13

like in my it's a lot of, like,

1:02:15

like Drake, Bunny, Rosalia. They love Miami

1:02:18

Doo. They love

1:02:18

Miami. Oh, I thought you were aware enough.

1:02:21

What'd you say?

1:02:22

Joe

1:02:25

Jonathan to help you? Yes, sir. That

1:02:32

makes sense. They're from

1:02:34

There's rumors. Have you ever Googled the

1:02:36

Jones Brothers? Like, where the Jones Brothers, where

1:02:39

are you from? And

1:02:44

it sounds

1:02:45

like Nick is from Texas, Joe is

1:02:48

from Jersey. You know

1:02:50

this? Are they

1:02:51

triplets? How could they be

1:02:54

born in different states?

1:02:56

That's the joke. I know

1:02:57

that they're not triplets. They're quadruplets.

1:02:59

There's four of them.

1:03:00

They lived in an RV --

1:03:02

Yeah. -- did whole bird. Yes. Alright.

1:03:06

Marco, we're abandoning ship. Mhmm.

1:03:08

I'm unplugging.

1:03:10

Yeah. Because you also

1:03:11

lost a bowler.

1:03:13

Alright. We'll

1:03:16

we'll

1:03:16

just read the headlines.

1:03:18

Adapted

1:03:19

overcome. Yeah. Alright. Number one, you

1:03:21

wanna take it? Florida

1:03:24

man charged with assault

1:03:25

with a deadly weapon after

1:03:28

throwing alligator through Wendy's drive through window. And that was that girl?

1:03:30

This is the girl's brother. Yeah.

1:03:32

So we have three first hand

1:03:34

accounts that this did happen. Mhmm.

1:03:37

Per the gainer in this new story.

1:03:40

Yeah. Second one, naked poor

1:03:41

demand chases people and

1:03:44

cops around

1:03:44

delay parking lot telling them that

1:03:46

they're gay for looking at his

1:03:50

penis.

1:03:53

Yes.

1:03:55

Period.

1:03:59

Yes.

1:04:02

And it was during pride,

1:04:03

man.

1:04:05

Good for him.

1:04:09

Florida man steals a car, realizes a baby is

1:04:11

in it, drops baby off safely, and makes

1:04:14

his

1:04:15

get away. That's

1:04:18

what I

1:04:19

consider it. Do crime, but do no harm. Yes.

1:04:21

That's what it is. Thousands of

1:04:24

gun owners

1:04:24

in Florida planning to down

1:04:27

Hurricane Irma.

1:04:29

Did

1:04:36

that what? Your

1:04:38

mom's name is

1:04:39

Irma. Sorry to your

1:04:42

mother. They said this

1:04:43

woman is so caught off board, I'm

1:04:45

a hurricane after her. I was like,

1:04:47

hopefully, you never no one ever shot at your mother. Yeah. Did this

1:04:50

work? Yeah. No.

1:04:52

Okay. I feel

1:04:56

like you have a hurricane named hurricane Sarah would be like

1:04:58

Well, there's like a bunch of protests that

1:04:59

happened in, like,

1:05:00

nineteen ninety eight. Hurricane Sarah?

1:05:04

Yeah. Where was it? Where

1:05:06

were you? Actually, if it was nineteen ninety eight, I was in Florida.

1:05:11

I in Jacksonville and from

1:05:14

Jacksonville, the Miami of this

1:05:16

fucking shit

1:05:17

hole. Okay? So the

1:05:19

Miami at the north.

1:05:20

Hurricane I

1:05:23

don't know. Nothing is

1:05:25

loading. Making sure. Yeah. This

1:05:26

aren't pulling a lot of

1:05:28

shit in our life. It's so sick.

1:05:32

Next. Florida man gets

1:05:33

tired of waiting at hospitals

1:05:35

steals ambulance, drives home.

1:05:36

I get it. Mhmm.

1:05:39

They were talking about this earlier. Like, if

1:05:41

I ever am in a crippling medical situation

1:05:43

where I need to be rushed to the hospital,

1:05:45

order me a fucking Uber.

1:05:46

Yeah. Like ambulances are eight thousand dollars,

1:05:48

dude. What

1:05:49

is I'd rather just die.

1:05:51

No. Yeah. When

1:05:52

I had my kidney infection, I got

1:05:54

an Uber and I was like,

1:05:56

screaming in the room. Yeah. You begged me to take you

1:05:58

and I said, I wanna take an nap.

1:05:59

So I'm kinda busy. I

1:06:02

just took my

1:06:04

makeup off. I

1:06:05

just washed my

1:06:07

sheets. It's been a long day.

1:06:09

I don't like it.

1:06:10

Yeah. Floor demand tries

1:06:11

to rob GameStop while wearing

1:06:13

transparent bag on his

1:06:15

head. Very much giving

1:06:17

Lana Del Rey mesh

1:06:20

mask.

1:06:20

Yeah. I just,

1:06:22

like, imagine him, like, trying to, like, demand

1:06:24

something in the condensation just, like, immediately, like,

1:06:26

fills the bag. It's, like, when you walk

1:06:28

outside your glasses, like, fog

1:06:30

Yeah. Does it give me all the money? Look,

1:06:32

I

1:06:32

can't see you. So just put it in my head.

1:06:34

Please. It's

1:06:37

like the honor system put it in my hand.

1:06:39

I can't see my mom joining into

1:06:42

cars. Florida

1:06:44

man breaks into jail to hang with his

1:06:46

friends.

1:06:47

It's kind

1:06:50

of

1:06:50

segearing. Did you wanna

1:06:53

come up on fish? Wait.

1:06:56

What? Scrapping jumps over here. I was like, hearing him in one ear, and I'm dying.

1:06:58

He's so funny. Like

1:07:01

I said, whatever the showing penis

1:07:03

and, like, saying that he's getting

1:07:04

okay. Prime.

1:07:06

Okay.

1:07:12

Florida man, a apparently

1:07:14

painting anti Hillary messages on Tampa Bay crabs.

1:07:17

So he literally painted he

1:07:19

really what did he write? Hillary

1:07:22

is a lying bitch on the

1:07:24

underbelly of a crab, and then he did

1:07:26

it to multiple crabs. But the thing

1:07:28

is is that crabs shed their,

1:07:30

like, their shell, which I didn't know. Mhmm. I thought that was just

1:07:32

like

1:07:32

a hermit crap thing. Didn't know all

1:07:34

crabs do it. Floor demand leaves job

1:07:36

at Burger King steals all their nuggets

1:07:40

because bucket. And

1:07:41

the picture is him holding six bags

1:07:43

of frozen nuggets.

1:07:47

And

1:07:47

then by the time he's home, it's, like, cooked in the

1:07:49

Miami here and

1:07:50

Perfectly. He

1:07:52

did a how much green flag, Marco? What

1:07:54

are we doing? Should I just abandon

1:07:56

Ship once again?

1:07:58

Yeah. But I am

1:08:00

interested

1:08:00

if you

1:08:01

find it to her computer. It's

1:08:04

not Oh,

1:08:04

no. You're gonna get like several viruses.

1:08:06

Sarah

1:08:06

once said

1:08:09

her computer runs

1:08:11

like a two thousand three Nokia. Where it's like

1:08:14

what's the, like, network where it's,

1:08:15

like, unsecured? I just always,

1:08:18

like, join them. I really don't

1:08:20

care. Yeah. My credit card has

1:08:22

been stolen twice, and I only got it for the first time this year. Your what? My credit card.

1:08:24

Oh. This is a

1:08:26

joke, guys. I'm not that

1:08:29

stupid. Oh, I was

1:08:30

like, what are you putting your credit card? I know. I you know, one thing I don't like,

1:08:33

I really

1:08:36

I've going to Europe and coming back. Those girls

1:08:38

are like, I traveled abroad. I would know. It's like, in Europe,

1:08:40

they bring the thing to you, and you put your cart in,

1:08:42

and then they walk away. Here, it's like, you need to

1:08:46

give your card to them in the trust that they're not

1:08:48

writing down the numbers and all the information.

1:08:50

Yeah. It's so crazy. I've never been

1:08:52

to Europe, and but I they don't have

1:08:54

AC or ice, and they also write down they write down your credit card? No. They don't. They have it

1:08:57

here. It's not safe. Yeah. Do you know

1:08:59

where you're, like, I'm gonna pay a

1:09:03

tab and you give your credit card to the waiter and they leave the table. Yeah.

1:09:05

Like,

1:09:05

they could just be writing that shit

1:09:06

down. That's true. I think the

1:09:09

only thing that bugs me about Europeans is when you're standing in

1:09:11

a line at, like, a grocery store, and they're, like, right

1:09:14

behind you. Oh, yeah. Like, you're, like, just trying

1:09:16

to buy, like, manage, and there's just, like,

1:09:18

a German man. Just, like, breathing down your

1:09:20

neck. How old? Yes.

1:09:22

How old? I said, you're on the stick

1:09:23

talking to

1:09:27

the other day. What

1:09:30

was the premise? It was, like, English English speakers or, like, English

1:09:32

people in Europe

1:09:33

or whatever. And I'm just,

1:09:35

hello. Can I get a

1:09:38

cup tea. And then

1:09:39

it was like, German guy. How long?

1:09:41

Because they're just they heard

1:09:43

German DJs. Like, European

1:09:45

DJs. Like, Everyone put your Schauer in the fucking

1:09:48

air.

1:09:48

Love Europe. Four

1:09:51

demand climbs

1:09:52

on play on equipment

1:09:54

to tell children where babies

1:09:56

come from. Holy shit. It's like sex

1:09:58

that is so in

1:09:59

your face.

1:10:00

that

1:10:02

They gotta learn at some point. Mhmm. Best it's

1:10:04

from a

1:10:05

stranger on a playground.

1:10:07

Yes. Florida man manages

1:10:09

to misspelled school on

1:10:11

warning sign twice. And he wrote SC0H0LSC0H0L

1:10:15

twice, Skol. But the thing

1:10:17

is is if he thought

1:10:20

it was correct the first time,

1:10:22

then he

1:10:23

would think it's correct the second time. we go. Alright.

1:10:28

So this is what I did. Like, what

1:10:30

do you say, Sam? Oh,

1:10:31

this is the Google

1:10:34

Earth.

1:10:34

That works. That works. Alright.

1:10:38

Let's do shirtless Florida woman. Marco, are you with us?

1:10:40

That's

1:10:44

gonna brothers. No.

1:10:46

No. No. Alright. Here's the next one. Floor demand wanders

1:10:48

naked

1:10:49

through neighborhood holding

1:10:52

coconut oil.

1:10:53

Erection says

1:10:58

he's aroused

1:11:01

by rain. It's like

1:11:03

Maeve speaking, like a sentence to,

1:11:05

like, test your typing. Florida man waters naked

1:11:07

through a neighborhood holding cooking

1:11:09

oil erection. I'm a

1:11:10

little scared to goo. Yeah. I would goo

1:11:13

There's no there's

1:11:13

no penis on the cooking

1:11:15

oil. No. At least on the Yeah.

1:11:18

That's everything. There we go. Just a little ass.

1:11:20

Uh-huh.

1:11:20

Just a little ass.

1:11:22

So he was

1:11:23

holding the cooking oil

1:11:25

in his direction in the

1:11:28

other

1:11:28

hands. What do you

1:11:30

think the oil was for? Drinking. Probably, like, lubricant maybe.

1:11:32

maybe

1:11:35

is But holding just like a bottle of Crisco

1:11:36

or vegetable

1:11:39

oil. Yes. That

1:11:41

bottle

1:11:41

is kind

1:11:44

of the

1:11:44

you know what I mean?

1:11:46

You guys ever held you ever made a cake. And then use vegetable oil. Crispy

1:11:48

comes in a and it's Crispy and

1:11:50

it's gonna talk about vegetable oil. Oh. And it's

1:11:52

that toll.

1:11:55

You could put a penis in it. That's what I'm

1:11:59

alluding to.

1:12:02

This one is teenage Florida Man.

1:12:04

Hacksus High School e mails everyone

1:12:06

urgent announcement about mandatory penis inspections

1:12:10

in accordance with Florida Pinnel code

1:12:12

sixty nine. Just look up Florida

1:12:14

Pinnel code sixty nine. It's real.

1:12:16

Look it up. Yeah. We

1:12:19

see,

1:12:20

like, your entire search

1:12:22

history. It's like Florida

1:12:24

penal code sixty nine,

1:12:27

Sixty nine. Go for it.

1:12:30

Nope. Nine. Yep.

1:12:31

Go to all. Go

1:12:33

to

1:12:34

all. Florida. Florida student hacks

1:12:37

in

1:12:37

the

1:12:38

school. I don't know. So

1:12:41

click it.

1:12:42

That's right.

1:12:44

Uh-huh. It's like like those

1:12:46

shirts that

1:12:48

say like male body inspector,

1:12:51

the FBI. FBI. For, like, free mammograms? Yeah. Sadors

1:12:56

who do not pass the inspection

1:12:59

will not be allowed

1:13:01

the impression will not be allowed the great

1:13:03

to graduate. Is it

1:13:05

just checking for

1:13:06

a penis or something about the penis? What's down there? Let me see, man. You can't

1:13:08

graduate unless

1:13:10

you pass. That's wild.

1:13:12

that while

1:13:14

Wait. What?

1:13:15

I can't read

1:13:17

it so far. It

1:13:19

was

1:13:19

something funny, but

1:13:21

that at same time, it was something scary. One

1:13:24

concern here. Yeah. The parents,

1:13:25

like, if it gets

1:13:28

them

1:13:28

parents like if it gets them into harvard

1:13:30

in a Harvard,

1:13:32

You get a

1:13:33

scholarship off your penal code. No, well, you did.

1:13:35

Floor demand causes a hundred thousand dollars in

1:13:37

damage to Walmart

1:13:40

liquor store. Under construction with hot

1:13:42

wired forklift, gives police his name as Alice Wonderland

1:13:44

and

1:13:44

says a hookah smoking counterpillar

1:13:46

told

1:13:47

him to do it. Mhmm.

1:13:49

I didn't know y'all have like it's like liquor stores, like it's

1:13:51

like Walmart and

1:13:53

Walmart gardening and

1:13:55

then Walmart liquor. Yeah.

1:13:58

And

1:13:59

then Walmart firearms. Walmart. Walmart.

1:13:59

Yeah.

1:14:01

What?

1:14:04

You get a

1:14:06

liquor seat. This why

1:14:08

is Walmart separate? What is

1:14:11

this? Oh, it's him. Fortemann

1:14:13

Walmart.

1:14:13

Now, see, that could be anything.

1:14:15

Yeah. That's it.

1:14:15

That's assaulting a Walmart worker.

1:14:18

That's

1:14:18

a federal offense. It just

1:14:20

employs fighting

1:14:24

customers. That

1:14:24

is a federal offense.

1:14:27

This one I hate.

1:14:28

Next

1:14:29

one, Florida Man Rob's Bank, strips naked, then runs down the street, throwing stolen

1:14:32

money

1:14:35

everywhere. That's

1:14:36

the Robinhood we

1:14:39

want. Yeah. The Redneck Robinhood. You've been doing NASCAR

1:14:41

you've been to a nascar race

1:14:43

race. Have

1:14:45

you ever been to a NASCAR race? Oh, what?

1:14:47

He looks like police sketch of

1:14:50

the last guy,

1:14:52

Jesus.

1:14:57

jesus

1:14:57

Naky,

1:15:03

bedtime, naky, naky. Good

1:15:09

for

1:15:09

him, honestly. Oh, look at him. He's naked.

1:15:12

Yeah.

1:15:12

naked

1:15:15

Alright. Wait. Have ever been

1:15:17

to what? A NASCAR

1:15:18

race. No. But we were supposed to go to wine before COVID.

1:15:20

Like, we had this, like, deal

1:15:22

to, like, go to wine. That's

1:15:24

Paris. We had a brand deal with

1:15:26

NASA covered in their COVID, which makes sense. Mhmm. They were like, can y'all just get down

1:15:29

there? Like, in the

1:15:31

in the field? Just filmed.

1:15:33

Yeah. And I was like, I'll be topless and in daisy dudes.

1:15:35

Spoking a cigarette. I hope that's okay.

1:15:40

Alright. We

1:15:40

have one more for you

1:15:42

guys. Yeah. And

1:15:43

it is Florida Man wears a

1:15:45

fuck the police shirt to

1:15:47

court wins the

1:15:52

case. Well,

1:16:00

I mean, he didn't say

1:16:02

fuck the judge. So

1:16:03

That's true. Yeah. The

1:16:05

judge couldn't care less. Yes.

1:16:07

That's not about me.

1:16:08

Well, I

1:16:10

feel like

1:16:10

all in all, in conclusion -- Mhmm. -- I feel like floor demand

1:16:12

is either the best of the

1:16:14

best or

1:16:14

the worst of the worst. Of

1:16:18

red neckry. You know what I mean? Where it's

1:16:21

like, they're doing it right or

1:16:23

Jesus. Oh, god. Look away.

1:16:25

Look away. Look away. I get it. Mhmm. It's

1:16:27

so wrong. It's right. Yeah. Mhmm. I've got a

1:16:29

bunch of rednecks in my family and some of this stuff,

1:16:31

I was like, that sounds pretty

1:16:32

normal. Then I was like, that's not it. Mhmm.

1:16:34

Actually What is the craziest thing one of your Redneck family

1:16:38

members

1:16:39

have done?

1:16:40

And that's a

1:16:43

great question. Voter

1:16:44

fraud Voter

1:16:45

fraud, voting for a dead relative.

1:16:47

Voting

1:16:47

for a What do you

1:16:49

want to be half of a dead

1:16:51

relative? Oh, like,

1:16:52

like, writing in

1:16:54

their name or, like, saying that

1:16:56

they are, oh. Yeah. Oh, my

1:16:58

Nana had a pet raccoon. Uh-huh.

1:17:01

Like, found it because your baby records are actually

1:17:03

really cute. Yeah. She when he was very little, put him in

1:17:05

a cage, would feed him grapes

1:17:07

-- Yeah.

1:17:07

-- chocolate. Don't

1:17:10

know how we didn't die by the way. I guess raccoons eat

1:17:13

literal garbage, so it's

1:17:15

actually fine.

1:17:16

My my

1:17:18

uncle from Alabama he thought, like, with the nineteen ninety

1:17:20

nine, like, two thousand, what's that called? Like, turn it

1:17:22

over, like, like, he thought, yeah, that something was gonna

1:17:24

happen. Why took care? Yeah. He, like,

1:17:26

thought that the world was gonna end. So

1:17:28

sold everything that he owned, and he moved

1:17:30

to Alaska. And so we're like, why Alaska? And he's like, because the the slimy green

1:17:33

aliens can't stand the

1:17:35

cold, and we're like, how

1:17:37

do you how do you know that that's what

1:17:39

they look

1:17:39

like? No. No. No. And you know the point. I was like, I was like, have you that space

1:17:40

is really cold? Like,

1:17:42

and they got through that? Not

1:17:47

on the ship?

1:17:47

Well, I think the really to

1:17:50

conclude, floor demand came to be

1:17:52

because of the heat, and that's

1:17:54

what we will leave you with.

1:17:55

Mhmm. So Thank you, guys,

1:17:59

for

1:17:59

coming. And

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