0:00

Hi, I'm Una Chaplin and I'm the

0:02

host of a new podcast called Hollywood

0:04

Exiles. It tells the

0:07

story of how my grandfather, Charlie

0:09

Chaplin, and many others were caught

0:11

up in a campaign to root

0:13

out communism in Hollywood. It's

0:15

a story of glamour and scandal

0:18

and political intrigue and a

0:20

battle for the soul of the nation. Hollywood

0:23

Exiles from CBC Podcasts and

0:25

the BBC World Service. Join

0:28

it wherever you get your podcasts. This

0:32

is a CBC Podcast. The

0:35

following episode contains difficult subject matter.

0:38

Listener discretion is advised. If

0:40

you want to learn more about how to prevent child sexual

0:43

abuse, go

0:45

to cbc.ca/huntingwarheadhelp.

0:52

So what are we doing? We're going to

0:54

go meet the close relative of Ben

0:57

Faulkner. She's

1:02

probably our best insight into what

1:05

Ben's really like as a human being and

1:07

we're going to hear her story. Hi,

1:10

how are you? Good

1:14

to meet you. Thanks

1:17

for having us. Thank you. Yeah,

1:20

it's a beautiful spot. Thank you. So

1:26

where are you most comfortable? I'll

1:29

just sit here. You're

1:31

in control here. So as long as

1:33

you know that and if you need to stop, if you

1:35

need to take a break. And I think maybe

1:39

most importantly, before we get going, we've talked about

1:41

this before. We're not using your name and we're

1:43

not talking about actually the state we're in. We

1:47

agreed to call her Jen. She

1:49

lives in the United States. So

1:52

I think it's bizarre too, because this

1:54

is something that I think maybe

1:58

four close friends. know and

2:01

then the family. This isn't something that you like

2:03

widely advertise and just kind of,

2:05

this has happened to us. So it's

2:07

a little surreal to

2:09

be talking about it so openly especially

2:11

with people who know as many details

2:13

about how far this went.

2:16

I guess the match was like why do you feel

2:18

compelled to talk about the most intimate details of the

2:20

diverse part of your life? Why is it important to

2:23

you? I've

2:25

thought about that a lot. It's

2:28

difficult but it's something

2:30

that I felt if

2:32

I don't do this I'm really gonna regret it. Like

2:39

it's the truth. You gotta speak your truth. It

2:42

kind of helps you take power of it in a

2:45

way. You feel less victimized I guess. Do

2:52

you want to read a paragraph or two of this thing? Sure. October the 7th

2:55

2016 will forever be the worst day of my life.

3:12

We'd been contacted by and met with

3:14

agents from Homeland Security who informed us

3:16

that someone whom I'd considered very close

3:19

had recently been arrested for something. My

3:23

family was shattered. My

3:25

life would never be the same. This

3:28

unfortunately was only the beginning of the nightmare.

3:37

I'm Damon Farallis and this

3:40

is Hunting the Warhead. Yeah

3:46

I just want to hear about your

3:49

relationship with Ben when you were

3:51

a young child and he was

3:53

newborn. What was it like to have a new member of your

3:55

family? I

3:57

was right at that age. Six or seven years ago.

4:00

old where I just saw babies were fantastic

4:03

and adorable and I just

4:05

wanted to play with him.

4:07

So we saw him I guess not too

4:10

long after he was born and then

4:12

the next time I saw him he's probably a little

4:14

bit more of a toddler and playing

4:18

with him like a toddler you know

4:21

that was about it because then my

4:23

family moved way far

4:25

south and we really

4:27

didn't go back up so we really didn't

4:30

have a lot of communication there. So

4:33

really all we got was the

4:35

Christmas card updates Ben's doing great

4:37

in the band Ben is playing

4:40

trumpet Ben is

4:42

a star swimmer and then that

4:44

progressed to Ben teaching swimming Ben

4:46

is a lifeguard so it's just

4:48

sort of like these yearly updates

4:50

and just those really

4:53

superficial catch-ups once

4:56

a year. It really wasn't until he

4:58

was late teen that I really connected

5:00

with him again. My

5:09

husband and I were about to get engaged I

5:11

wanted to take the new guy home and hadn't

5:14

seen Ben

5:16

in quite a while so

5:18

we really reconnected on that

5:20

trip because everybody was staying in

5:23

my grandmother's house and I think

5:27

that's when I picked up on like just

5:30

the self-care

5:32

habits or lack thereof. He'd

5:37

probably wear the same outfit all

5:39

week long if nobody

5:42

noticed he

5:44

didn't clean himself

5:46

his hair was pretty gross and I

5:48

know that because I'm a licensed cosmetologist

5:50

I would comb his hair and check

5:53

his scalp and cut all

5:55

the growth. I

5:57

mean you could tell that from the why

5:59

He wasn't showering because the chlorine

6:01

was affecting his hair chemically. The

6:04

texture of his hair was just almost

6:06

like somebody who's overly bleached their hair

6:08

because you're supposed to shower the chlorine

6:10

out of your hair. And I

6:12

also thought that was a little weird. He was permitted

6:15

to live the solitary

6:19

life in the dark basement with

6:21

these weird hours. Like what kind of

6:24

hours? We'd be up in

6:26

the daytime doing things, having breakfast. Well, is

6:28

Ben going to come up for breakfast? Oh

6:30

no, he usually sleeps until one,

6:32

two o'clock in the afternoon. And

6:35

I thought, wow, his parents are so

6:37

cool because my parents would never let me

6:40

stay up until 4 a.m.

6:42

and sleep until there's no way. So

6:47

I thought, oh, OK, he's just

6:49

him. He

6:54

wasn't really interested in girls, but

6:57

I'd also knew a lot of guys who

6:59

were computer nerds just like him. So I

7:02

was familiar with that sort of

7:04

personality and just sort of blew

7:07

it off. It

7:12

was just this. That's how he was. He was

7:15

just an odd dude. Faulkner

7:20

struck Jen as someone who needed to leave

7:23

the basement and explore the world.

7:26

My husband and I were kind of like, oh, my gosh,

7:28

like, he's going to go off

7:30

to school, maybe come down to the US. So

7:33

we kind of threw that out there. Hey, if you ever

7:35

want to come down, we might be

7:37

able to help you get an internship or a

7:39

visa to work somewhere and

7:41

maybe go to school or just expand

7:44

your horizons out of Northern

7:46

Ontario. So long

7:49

story short, eventually he came

7:51

down. Your

7:54

husband got him a job. He

7:56

got a job in I.T. at

7:58

my husband's office. husband's company. He lived

8:01

with us for a couple of months and

8:03

that's when I took him around because then he

8:06

was 21. I could take

8:08

him out in this really cool college

8:11

town and maybe introduce him to

8:13

some girls or friends

8:15

or new interests. Something

8:19

that might get him out into the

8:21

sunshine or just maybe garnish a little

8:25

more interest in life. My

8:32

husband travels a lot so it was just the two

8:34

of us hanging out and he connected with some of

8:36

my friends and I mean

8:38

I brought him to parties and when

8:41

I was freaking out because I didn't know

8:43

anybody he was cool as a cucumber and

8:45

could walk up to people and just start

8:47

a conversation. I just

8:51

remember being over at a party once. I

8:54

look over my shoulder and he's in the corner with

8:56

a drink in his hand with

8:58

like four girls standing around him

9:00

and they're all laughing and he's

9:03

just completely in the zone and

9:05

I thought where did that

9:07

come from? Like is this just like blossoming all

9:09

of a sudden? No and then I just you

9:12

know you don't think anything of it. I said

9:14

okay yeah he's doing awesome good for him. And

9:24

how long was that? It was like a few months right? He

9:26

came down at the beginning of November

9:29

that year and then he left right

9:31

around New Year's with the idea that

9:34

he was gonna come back and take a permanent position and

9:36

then at the very last minute he sent me a

9:39

message. Hey thought

9:41

you'd heard I decided not to take the job

9:44

so that's when I realized okay

9:48

you're gonna make your own life choices have at it

9:50

kind of left it at that. But

9:57

Not too long after that, That's when my grandfather got

9:59

really sick. And he ended

10:01

up in the hospital before he

10:03

finally passed away. But that was

10:05

a good. Eleven

10:07

days. That. We were all

10:09

sitting in that hospital room. So.

10:12

We. Spend a lot of time. In.

10:15

Hospital. Watching.

10:17

My grandfather passed away. just sort

10:20

of talking. I

10:25

think that's when I really opened up. Take

10:27

Him! So. I

10:29

got all mushy on him. You know when you watch

10:31

the paths o l a like you know you're like

10:34

a rather. To me this is. This.

10:36

Is really important. I'm so

10:38

glad you're here. A

10:43

few years your. Voters in

10:46

college studying internet security. Into

10:49

them as exchange the Turks are faced with

10:51

message from San Hey I was. Totally

10:55

Randell. We really hadn't even spoken

10:57

that year was kind of other.

10:59

the blue July. I

11:02

want to say he says hey what's up

11:04

I got my tax return and I want

11:06

to come down and see you in the

11:08

ghettos. My.

11:13

Kiddos! We're very close in

11:15

age, so I had an

11:18

eight month old and an

11:20

almost or freshly. Two year

11:22

old to the time, so

11:24

there's a handful. And

11:27

I'm thinking. Okay,

11:29

cool. I haven't

11:31

seen him in forever. pumped I thought

11:33

oh my gosh, he's growing up that

11:35

he wants to come back down and

11:38

hang out. I just. Jumped.

11:40

On it. Yeah, come on down or get your room

11:42

ready. Let me know when you're going to be year.

11:44

Old pick you up no problem. So

11:51

to show that we hang out

11:54

as usual, He's

11:56

sort. Of back to his own schedule.

11:58

Hi I'm like. Dude, I have

12:00

two babies now they get up at

12:03

be butt crack of dawn and if

12:05

you wanna hang out with us you're

12:07

going to have to get a. Plane.

12:10

Is that cool? No problem. So

12:12

I was really surprised he was

12:14

actually getting up. no problem. In

12:18

hell with the kiddos. hoping still

12:20

doing his thing. You know still

12:22

ben you was having meal that

12:25

engaging but it was. He served

12:27

as little laptop. Moments can

12:29

even call them almonds. They're

12:32

like long lapses. was he

12:34

doing that? Around

12:36

you guys are you going to always

12:39

says always on a laptop. I

12:46

always joke that I've always recognize that

12:48

bridge of his nose in his eyes

12:50

and his forehead kill all the lower

12:53

half as this always covered by a

12:55

laptop. He's always have a laptop in

12:57

his. Face. Always. My.

13:04

Husband was gone most of this visit

13:07

so as me and Ben in the

13:09

evenings and athletes hang out and talk

13:11

and watched stranger things any time he

13:13

got too close to him when he

13:15

had his laptop. She. Grabbed the

13:17

top and bend it towards his chest. And

13:20

I'll be like. Dude. I don't

13:22

It is a camp training like a rather I

13:24

don't want your porn dude I don't want to

13:26

see the movies and stuff on your. Computer.

13:30

And he's like, ha, like, no, really,

13:32

it's probably like some stupid minecraft isn't

13:34

And he's like that. It

13:36

was only use one of those situations right?

13:38

Be like messing with him and he just

13:40

roll with it. Effortlessly.

13:46

Soon. Nobody's. Stranger.

13:48

Things nights. I'm.

13:51

Like screw this I'm an upright a

13:53

little bit. Does nobody else does some

13:55

like what the hell are you doing.

13:59

And. Then I have. A

14:02

Bow A Forum. She'd.

14:05

Created. He

14:07

was the moderator. Que.

14:10

It's a big. Kahuna.

14:13

And. It was amusing to him

14:15

that she had. X

14:17

number of followers and she

14:20

could post. Puzzles

14:22

that he called them. And

14:25

they would scramble. I think that's

14:28

already. They would scramble to solve

14:30

it because the first one to

14:32

solve it would get a prize.

14:37

And I remember thinking. Then

14:40

that's stupid as this. For money,

14:42

what's the price? And he was

14:44

like it's a picture I made

14:46

like our another puzzle. And

14:49

it leads to another puzzle and I'll like. Ah

14:54

kei! And

14:57

he just go back to

14:59

the click and clack in

15:01

a mean it really amused

15:03

him to have people. Rushing

15:06

to do his commands,

15:16

It's still it's creeps me

15:19

out In retrospect, Little.

15:24

Things that you planning on us

15:27

and then. You

15:29

don't know why it's suspect

15:31

energy. I

15:33

wish I could explain it better.

15:35

It's the same energy I felt when

15:37

she wanted to take her down

15:39

to the poor. To

15:42

go swimming. I'm

15:45

thinkin' Call. Lifeguard

15:47

Safe. But

15:49

that. In me. Made

15:53

me from literally sit out the window

15:55

with the window open shouting down to

15:57

them. As I was folding laundry. I

16:00

couldn't. Just leave them

16:03

alone and it way or it

16:05

wasn't because I suspected see would

16:07

do anything, it's just because my

16:10

own insecurity. I didn't matter who.

16:12

Was. You

16:15

or someone says something about I think she

16:18

wanted to buy one. Your kids are taught

16:20

you something. Oh, that's right.

16:22

That's right. We're gonna get some

16:24

some goggles so that he could

16:26

give them to her. I

16:29

think I even paid. For them. All

16:31

they care. I'll let you give them to

16:33

earn. So think that's really cool. So

16:36

yeah, Yeah,

16:38

we went and bought. Little toddler goggles

16:41

to the. Second, Swim

16:44

Together. So.

16:50

Yes, those weird little tug

16:52

style. When I get some. You're.

16:55

Damn right, I pay attention. Because

16:57

there was. A

17:00

few that happened during a

17:02

visit. Like.

17:06

He wanted to give her back. She.

17:09

Wanted to give her a bath. Girls

17:11

yeah, he wanted to give. The

17:14

eldest about and. My

17:18

first reaction with two kids? The

17:20

sage. Hallelujah. Somebody wants to help

17:23

me for a seconds and maybe

17:25

I can go nurse the baby

17:28

or change a diaper or something.

17:31

But I had that tug. I

17:34

had the tug. South.

17:44

Error Park Messages

17:46

Utah Same. Here.

17:51

Live. I'm

18:01

daughter's room and then here is

18:04

the bathroom. Remember

18:08

leaving the baby. And. I can arrest

18:11

upstairs and they were just

18:13

turning the past that on.

18:15

but. Saw. A

18:18

rushed to the top of stairs

18:20

and then snuck. The.

18:22

Rest of the way to the bathroom door because

18:24

I was like. It's

18:27

just weird. You want know how people

18:29

are interacting with your child when they

18:31

don't know I'm around and I remember

18:33

like sort of sneaking and I just

18:35

heard them talking totally innocently. I sat

18:37

there and sort of waited. And

18:40

everything seemed fine. Honestly,

18:43

everything seemed fine. And.

18:45

That's when I mean my son of hey guys,

18:47

I'm here. Should. Have given

18:49

her back. Yeah, I

18:51

mean, I was there, he was in the

18:54

room talking to her and interacting kind of

18:56

any, now I'm like, "Hey, can we go

18:58

grab me this?" Up and down

19:00

the stairs to the crab in the base.

19:02

If they were alone, it was for. Twenty

19:05

seconds. Fifteen.

19:07

Seconds long enough to turn around and grabbed

19:10

the laundry basket. Long enough to grab the

19:12

next. Diaper or pack of white.

19:15

Que les pretty abrupt. He

19:18

did. He

19:21

did. Yes, Ah. He

19:23

was talking about your it. And

19:26

neither like you know, Since.

19:28

I'm down here. I might swing

19:30

over to Tennessee for the last

19:32

couple days of mine. Break and go

19:35

see my buddy. Are you sure

19:37

you want to stay in Other day

19:39

Totally woke. We have plenty of space

19:41

here. We have a swimming pool. the

19:43

weather's great. One more night when he

19:45

say no none an eye on you're

19:48

going a really gotta. Get going. To

19:58

Freeze prefer For the States This is my. pictures

20:02

because I keep everything but

20:05

you know that was right when he first arrived

20:08

I've got one kid over mindlessly

20:10

in a diaper and

20:13

you can see how little they

20:15

are. Yeah and there's Ben. That's

20:20

him. Playing with

20:22

the kids. Playing with my babies. That's

20:26

my oldest. Oh,

20:30

and goggles. Those are the goggles and there

20:32

he is crouching behind her. Huh.

20:35

Yeah. He's holding. After

20:39

the pool and a towel. I'm sure this is kind of

20:42

weird for you guys. I've

20:45

never actually seen a lot of photos of him.

20:47

Oh really? Like if I've seen you know the

20:49

couple that have been in the press club. Well

20:51

after seeing like his mug and stuff I bet.

20:53

Yeah. Yeah there's not a lot of pictures of

20:55

Ben. I got a lot so. And

21:00

then this is right before he left. We

21:09

get up the next day we take him to

21:11

the airport. So

21:15

when we drop him off my

21:17

kiddo is in the back losing

21:20

it. No.

21:24

Ben. Ben. And he looks

21:26

at me from the curb and he goes oh

21:28

my gosh my heart. Oh

21:31

my heart. I feel so

21:33

bad. And I'm

21:36

like that's okay. Kiddos do this. It's

21:38

okay. It's totally normal. We'll see you

21:40

soon. There'll be more visits. And

21:50

that's that. We wave you by and we pull

21:52

out of the airport. And

21:54

that's sort of it. That's

21:57

July. And then we went.

22:00

we have August September October

22:03

was when it happened and

22:18

if you are watching this video either

22:20

I'm dead or I'm in a very very

22:22

very bad situation she said oh my god

22:25

I can hear gunshots I can hear men

22:27

outside where are they what have they done

22:29

to them? There is one suspect,

22:32

her father the shite A new

22:34

podcast from In the Dark and the New Yorker

22:36

asks a question Why do the

22:39

women in Dubai's royal family keep

22:41

trying to run away? The Runaway

22:43

Princesses is available now. Follow In

22:45

the Dark wherever you get your podcasts So

22:50

you're at home, you're here? typical

22:52

day I've got

22:54

my two kiddos and

22:58

my phone rings it's like 8am and

23:02

this gentleman says I'm with Homeland

23:04

Security and I'm headed to your

23:06

house right now is

23:09

your husband home? My

23:12

husband was traveling I think he was in the

23:14

air at the time and I'm

23:16

thinking there's

23:19

a stranger on my phone wanting to know if I'm

23:21

home alone and he says he's headed to my house

23:23

so I say

23:25

um I'm

23:27

sorry can I get your number I'm gonna have to call you

23:29

back so I

23:31

call I verify that's when

23:33

I'm like holy crap what is

23:35

going on so

23:39

I called the guy back and I said my

23:41

husband is not here can

23:43

you tell me what this is about and

23:45

he said no I can't all I can

23:47

tell you is that you're not in any

23:49

danger and I thought uh

23:51

okay that's bizarre when

23:54

is your husband gonna be there and

23:56

he said well Probably towards the

23:58

end of the week I Could schedule. Something

24:00

and I like freaking out

24:02

So I have to wait

24:05

from Monday until Friday wondering.

24:08

And then my husband's coming in. He

24:10

said we have no idea what's going

24:12

on these he learns hot coming to

24:14

our home so let's meet them somewhere

24:16

neutral. I. Call the

24:18

center. And we had

24:21

over to the little. Diner.

24:23

Down the street. We

24:25

pull up and my heart started

24:28

pounding. Rice and done! We

24:31

pull in disguise looking. Real

24:33

serious with it. Saves on

24:35

these guys Pickup truck killed

24:37

the he's and. Doing.

24:39

Some long hours and he

24:41

introduces himself. Does. The click

24:43

badge flips and he says you know I

24:45

have another age and inside waiting we have

24:48

a table and we'd like to. Talk.

24:50

To about some things. So.

24:53

He'll look any so there are time like. Twilight

24:55

Zone. Okay, let's do this.

25:08

They were already here like they were

25:10

set up and ready and waiting for

25:12

us to sit down is bizarre to

25:14

me that they already had a table

25:16

on the private side and that's when

25:18

I started getting nervous like what the

25:20

hell is happening? what's allowed to happen.

25:23

And the blonde lady sitting there.

25:26

She. Introduces herself I believe her name was Angela

25:28

and you know you're not really paying. It has

25:30

us when you're like yeah, yeah, let's get. To. The

25:32

point zero. Say

25:35

be was sitting. On. The last angelo was on

25:37

the right. Has

25:39

such. A look at concern. On her face,

25:43

So Jv says to

25:45

you know, Benjamin Faulkner.

25:50

And I say yes and my

25:52

brain instantly goes, what the hell

25:54

did this kid hack into? What

25:57

he did he hack into. And

26:03

I really was expecting them to just

26:06

say like he was goofing off and

26:08

hacked into some. Server

26:10

he wasn't supposed to be in. And.

26:14

I almost didn't hear when he was

26:16

saying cause I was gonna hear. Been

26:19

hacked into blah blah blah and we're

26:22

going to give him a slap on

26:24

the wrist like this is truly what

26:26

I'm expecting. But

26:28

the words coming else? I.

26:32

Can even tell you. He said

26:34

he even. Told you. Then

26:43

he looks over to Angela. She

26:46

some through this massive older

26:49

like two inches thick. It's

26:51

it's a big manila. Folder.

26:56

And. She kind of opens his sons. Impose

26:59

our this image and says

27:01

this this one of your

27:03

children. And

27:14

I was like holy

27:16

shit. What

27:18

has he done? Like

27:33

think. She.

27:36

Hasn't done anything the my kids

27:38

yet. like the visual. Forced

27:41

to me. they're. Like whether I wanted

27:43

to. The are not to your like

27:45

that's that's your player him for that's

27:47

your baby's close. That's

27:49

their. Toys That their

27:52

stuff. That's my house. and

27:56

then another photo comes out in it's up in

27:58

the bathroom That's

28:04

the bath mat. Those are the bath toys.

28:09

Probably moments before I peeked around the

28:11

corner. Or moments after. Who

28:13

knows? They

28:18

kept saying, he says he showed restraint. So

28:20

you're grasping for anything that makes you feel

28:22

like you've got the foot on the ground,

28:24

right? Okay, if he

28:26

showed restraint then my kids are okay, right? Your brain

28:28

is still going, my kids are okay. My kids are

28:30

okay. Something else has happened. He's done

28:33

something really bad. We're okay. Everything's... But

28:36

it's like people are telling you that stuff's not

28:39

okay. And that something happened. You're

28:41

like, no, but I was there. Everything

28:43

was fine. You don't think of this

28:45

type of abuse. Being

28:48

so silent and

28:50

sneaky and it's

28:53

bizarre. Your brain just does not know

28:55

how to compute that. I'm

28:58

still thinking this like, whoa, okay.

29:01

Whoa, Ben's a pedophile. Ben

29:03

is a pedophile. And

29:24

then it just kept going first. Like as

29:26

you're still trying to process, it just goes another

29:28

step. And we

29:30

need you to go home and get the

29:32

kids because we have an appointment set up

29:34

for you at Child Protective Services for a

29:36

forensic interview for your oldest. And

29:40

I'm looking at them like, my oldest

29:42

doesn't even know what her bottom is.

29:45

How are we going to do

29:47

this? She has a pacifier and

29:50

a blankie. She

29:52

really weren't sure about what he

29:54

had done

29:56

with your kids. No, no. And

29:58

at that moment, like that's... sort of began

30:01

the complete trajectory change

30:03

for my life because it was a family

30:06

thing. It was in my home, my

30:09

safe space. It was inside.

30:11

It was my emotions that I had

30:13

shared with him and exposed. And yeah,

30:16

how do you describe the moment

30:18

your core is blown apart by

30:21

another person? So

30:28

I came home and scoop

30:30

up the babes, blankies,

30:33

binkies in the car seats

30:36

over to the other side of town. I met

30:39

us outside. Again, there's

30:42

like a team of people waiting for you

30:44

and they already know

30:46

everything that you just

30:48

found out. So

30:51

you're looking at everybody almost suspiciously,

30:53

like what do you know about

30:55

me and my kids and what's

30:58

happened here? And then all of

31:00

these people are like coming at

31:02

you. Are you okay?

31:05

Do you need anything? Do you have

31:07

any questions? Well, no, I don't have

31:09

questions yet because I still have no

31:11

idea what's going on. We

31:14

get an advocate. They hand

31:16

me the folder and that's when

31:19

I'm like, they have folders for this. Like

31:22

this is a pre-packaged

31:25

little folder with brochures for

31:27

victims of family

31:29

sexual abuse. And

31:31

you're still thinking like this is still

31:33

not, it's still not real to me.

31:35

Like what is happening here?

31:46

So it was

31:48

terrifying, but they took my

31:50

eldest out of

31:52

this waiting room that we were sitting in. Like

31:55

this lady came in and

31:58

they just took her. and

32:02

having a toddler. You

32:04

want to put a bubble around them and here's

32:07

like all of these strangers taking

32:10

my non-verbal

32:13

little baby to

32:18

ask her questions about what

32:20

Ben may have done to her. She

32:32

was gone for like half an hour. It felt

32:34

like a really long time. It

32:37

was at least enough time for me to nurse the baby

32:40

and like pace the room at least 20

32:43

times. And

32:46

um I

32:48

had this overwhelming feeling like do they

32:50

blame me because

32:52

I exposed my kids to him. And

33:00

then they brought her back. They

33:04

handed the kids teddy bears like

33:06

okay thanks I don't want

33:09

this in my home on no offense guys. But

33:12

um I

33:15

remember driving home and just being sort

33:17

of numb. And

33:24

it wasn't over yet. Child

33:27

services needed Jen to book a second

33:29

appointment. This time for

33:32

a physical examination. So

33:36

we scheduled the exams and

33:39

I'm thinking we're just going in for a

33:41

visual. So um we show up

33:47

and Angela's there, the blonde

33:49

agent. And they

33:51

take us to the exam room and

33:56

Angela pulls the doctor out and

33:58

they're whispering. And the doctor is there. comes

34:00

back in and motions to

34:02

my husband and

34:05

my husband leaves the room and I'm

34:07

sitting there holding the

34:09

baby and I'm like now

34:12

what? So

34:14

they come back into the room just

34:16

the doctor and she

34:18

has this look on her face like this

34:21

look of pity and

34:25

she says we've gotten some

34:28

new information. Ben

34:33

is admitted to attempting oral sex

34:35

with one of the children and

34:39

we need to do blood and urine

34:42

samples to check them for STDs and

34:48

that was it for me. That was the

34:50

moment where I said are

34:52

you fucking kidding

34:54

me? Restraint

34:57

my ass! So

35:11

the first thing I did was I cleaned out

35:14

my checking account, painting and stripping

35:17

everything upstairs. I

35:19

hired painters like normally I will get up on a

35:22

ladder and tape everything. I like to do that kind

35:24

of stuff but this was like now

35:27

now transform

35:29

this space. I didn't want to be

35:31

in my child's bathroom wondering what happened

35:34

here. I needed it to feel like

35:36

a different bathroom like this was not

35:38

the space that Ben was in. I

35:42

did everything I could think of.

35:44

I bought all kinds of sage.

35:46

I left the windows open. I

35:49

prayed to my

35:51

dead grandfather. I I did

35:54

everything. Paint I mean grapes came

35:56

down sheets were burned. It was

35:58

my therapist who recommended that I

36:01

do it but I just I wadded those sheets

36:03

up and we went to Home Depot we bought

36:06

one of those cheap little fire

36:08

pits and I I threw

36:12

everything on the ground first and

36:14

I stomped and I screamed I

36:18

screamed at the sheets like it was him and then

36:22

I stood there I

36:25

watched it burn for a long time and

36:28

I just fell to my knees and sobbed because

36:31

I I knew

36:33

it wasn't over it wasn't gonna

36:35

take it away it was

36:37

just symbolic it's

36:48

it was a lot a lot for

36:50

that time broke me

36:52

for a while for sure you

37:10

Ben Faulkner and Patrick Faulty were sentenced in

37:12

September 2017 this was for sexually

37:16

assaulting the four-year-old girl in Manassas

37:18

Virginia Jen

37:21

was at the hearing she was

37:23

a witness for the prosecution what

37:27

prompted you to want to make

37:30

a victim impact it took me some

37:32

time to get to that point and

37:34

even leading up to the

37:36

victim impact statement I was still like

37:39

I don't know if I can do this or not like

37:42

with here like speaking to y'all it's

37:44

one of those deals where I felt

37:46

this tug if you don't do this

37:48

you're gonna regret it this is your

37:51

chance and

37:53

I didn't understand it until I

37:55

actually did it you

37:57

really do feel like you're getting some of your power

38:00

acts because you're in a courtroom. He

38:02

can't argue. You just get

38:05

to say how it affected

38:07

you. And that's really

38:10

powerful if you can muster

38:12

the strength to do it, which

38:16

it's terrifying. It's

38:19

probably the scariest thing I've ever done. I

38:34

was basically sitting there trying not to have a panic attack,

38:37

but it's just

38:40

like on TV. Like

38:43

federal court is all

38:45

business. Wood paneling, floor

38:47

to ceilings, everything's

38:49

very official with the seals,

38:53

oye, oye, all of it. And

38:56

then he came in, shackled

38:58

with the orange jumpsuit. And

39:03

he looked exactly the same. You're

39:06

expecting somebody to look awful

39:08

and like, Ben

39:10

looks like Ben. The long greasy

39:13

hair was back. And

39:15

it was just him with the

39:17

orange jumpsuit. I

39:28

got up and I walk up to the

39:30

box. And of course

39:32

I'm like shaking. And I

39:34

took my knees and I turned them towards

39:37

the judge because I

39:39

didn't trust myself not to turn

39:41

my head and look at Ben

39:43

because I knew that as

39:45

soon as I looked at him, whether we made

39:48

eye contact or not, I was

39:50

going to crack. I wasn't going to be

39:52

able to do it. So I went

39:54

into game mode, did what

39:56

I had to do, sat

39:58

back down and then. I felt like,

40:00

did that just happen? And

40:04

I remember asking my husband, did

40:07

I read the whole thing or did I just

40:09

freak out and sit down? And

40:11

he's like, no, you did it. And everybody was

40:13

like patting me. They were like, that was amazing.

40:15

And I know there were people like crying and

40:17

I don't remember any of

40:19

it. I

40:22

went back down and sat down and then,

40:27

and then they gave him the opportunity to say, do you have anything

40:29

you wanna say? Ben.

40:34

I sat back and sure he went nah, I'm good. With

40:43

that tone, I am not kidding

40:45

you guys. Now I'm

40:48

good. And

40:51

that was also shocking to me. No

40:54

remorse. Patrick was

40:56

very apologetic. He

40:59

knows, he fucked up. You can tell

41:02

he feels remorse. He was apologizing

41:04

to his parents and

41:06

his family. He was apologizing to the

41:08

family ethic. He

41:11

knows, he fucked up. You can

41:13

tell he feels remorse. He was

41:15

apologizing to his parents

41:18

and his family. He was apologizing to

41:20

the family of the kiddo. And

41:23

then my dick relative has the

41:26

gall to just go, nah, I'm

41:28

good. It

41:31

just makes my skin crawl. Especially

41:35

after hearing what I had to say. Have

41:41

I ever gotten an apology or a

41:43

letter or anything? Nothing.

41:52

Benjamin Faulkner and Patrick Faulty were

41:54

both sentenced to life in prison. How

42:00

does it make you feel that some of those pictures

42:02

of your kids are out there in perpetuity? Because

42:04

these forms get shut down and other ones pop

42:06

up. What's that like for you? I

42:09

mean it pops up in your mind in

42:11

those quiet moments. Oh

42:13

yeah, that's floating out there. The

42:18

Australian police ran the site for 11

42:21

months and had to mimic Ben and

42:23

his messages, which included

42:26

an image or video. How

42:28

do you feel about the cops running a

42:30

honeypot trap for 11 months

42:32

and having to put on images to make

42:35

it a legitimate site? Did

42:38

you see how many they caught? Operation

42:41

Artemis led to the arrest of at least 200 child

42:45

sex offenders. I

42:47

love that. The

42:50

images are already out there. They're

42:52

already there. Why

42:55

not utilize this and

42:57

catch more of these guys? I'm

43:00

all for it. My kids'

43:02

images, yes, they're among

43:05

there. That's horrible.

43:07

But holy moly, if we can catch that

43:10

many people doing this, catch

43:13

them. Catch

43:15

them because when you

43:18

abuse these babies, you change

43:20

their lives forever. If

43:22

they don't get a say, yes, do it.

43:28

I can't even imagine somebody saying, don't go

43:30

after these guys with images

43:32

that are already there. When

43:37

I read how many they caught, I was like,

43:41

yes, they're angels. I will

43:43

continue to call them angels. I

43:54

know I was sitting next to Paul in

43:56

the courtroom. Jen

43:58

is talking about Paul Griffith. The

44:01

investigator with task force Argos. But

44:03

I didn't know who he was. I know that

44:05

I met him and I shook his hand and

44:08

he was somebody who had helped us. But

44:11

I did not grasp who he

44:13

was. I got

44:15

choked up thinking about him. It's like an angel that I

44:17

didn't even know. It's

44:22

gratitude. That's why I'm choked up. It's

44:25

gratitude. And I wish that I'd

44:27

known so that I could have relayed that a

44:29

little better. When I read

44:32

the article and saw his picture and realized that's

44:34

who it was, I was like, oh

44:36

my gosh, wow, wow. They're

44:39

like rock stars to me. It's like, yeah,

44:43

amazing. What they do, I... Breath.

44:49

Breath. Without

44:57

this type of work and the cooperation

44:59

of international police agencies, Forehead would still

45:01

be online. And

45:03

Ben Faulkner would still be free. What

45:07

if he'd come back? Not

45:10

what if? He was going to come

45:12

back. I cared for him.

45:15

I trusted him. But

45:21

when you give family members this implicit

45:23

trust with your children, it's... Oh,

45:27

that's why this violation is so...

45:33

I wish I had a word for it because it's... He

45:44

didn't break me. I mean,

45:46

I was for a while, but I

45:49

feel like a warrior now, honestly. I

45:52

really do, especially coming out of that

45:54

victim impact statement. I remember the

45:56

first time I looked in the mirror, I looked like

45:58

a different person to myself. If

46:01

that's believable. I

46:03

remember looking in the mirror like, who

46:05

is that fierce lady? I

46:07

didn't know I could do that. I

46:28

interviewed Jen in the spring of 2019, and

46:30

I've kept in touch with her and her

46:32

family ever since. I'm

46:34

not sure I'd have the courage to

46:36

publicly share such a traumatic experience. But

46:40

Jen believes it's important to let other victims

46:42

and survivors know they're not alone, that they

46:44

have nothing to be ashamed of, and

46:47

that by speaking out, it makes it harder for predators

46:49

like Ben Faulkner to get away with what they've done.

46:53

But I'm still stuck with that

46:55

central question. It's something Jen

46:57

and I have spent a lot of time discussing since we first

46:59

spoke. Why?

47:03

Why would someone do this? What

47:06

led Ben Faulkner to

47:08

become Warhead? How

47:13

do you stop other men from taking the same path?

47:17

To begin to understand that, I'd

47:19

need to talk directly to Warhead.

47:24

This is a prepaid call from an

47:26

inmate at the Davies County Detention Center.

47:29

Hello. Hi. I'm Ben Faulkner. Hunting

47:54

Warhead is written and produced by Chris

47:56

Oak and me, Damon Fairless. The

47:59

series is co-produced by the by Huycken Heudel and

48:01

associate producer Michaela Rana. Sound

48:04

design by Cecil Fernandez. Emily

48:07

Kanell is our digital producer. Original

48:09

music by Olivia Pascarelli. The

48:12

senior producer of CBC podcasts is Tanya

48:15

Springer and our executive producer

48:17

is Arif Narani. Hunting

48:19

Warhead is a co-production of CBC

48:22

podcasts and the Norwegian newspaper Fiji.

48:30

Coming up on Hunting Warhead. I don't

48:33

even know how else to explain it. Just like it's this

48:36

existential misery that you

48:38

know that you're never going to be

48:40

who people think you are. I

48:43

wouldn't necessarily trust that you're going to get

48:46

100% of the story and

48:48

you're never quite sure where they're going to draw

48:50

that line in the sand of what they consider

48:53

shameful or sick and what they

48:55

don't. He kept telling

48:57

me about the secret that he wanted to tell me and

49:00

I was excited to go to the Y

49:02

to hear about the secret. For

49:11

more CBC podcasts go to CBC