World War I was sad. So was World War II. But if our predictions are accurate, World War III will be a hilarious romp. What will the battlefields of the future look like, and who will be key players? You better strap on your podcasting bonnets to find out!

THIS EPISODE'S CHARACTERS:

Gal Qaeda. The Dogs of War. Apes. Kim Jong-Cinq. Die-go Luna. Lieutenant Colonel Beavers Kirkpatrick. Carlos Slim Jim. Bill Paxton’s bloated corpse.

THIS EPISODE'S SCENARIOS:

1. Who would prevail in the following battlefield of the future?
2. With whom would you carpet bomb a city?
3. Who would you want as your “key buddy” in a nuclear launch facility?

THIS EPISODE'S SEXY SEGMENTS:

• Dear John letters
• It can't be spelled!