0:00

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name

0:02

is Ryan. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge. Hello.

0:04

We are calling Sarah Jane, who's in Rutherford, which

0:06

I think is like. Rutherford falls.

0:09

Isn't that on a TV show or something? Anyway.

0:14

Is it? No, I'm like, it's

0:17

a brainstorm. I think it's how conversation works.

0:19

Someone said something. The start of the

0:21

Hunter Valley. I

0:24

don't know. Hello. Sarah

0:26

Jane. Hello. I'm

0:31

so excited. You're Natalie.

0:34

Are we? Oh, that sounds like us. Yep. I'm

0:36

always on time and very diligent and never

0:38

late now. I just, sorry, I just need

0:40

to close the loose ends. We were just talking about how

0:42

you're from Rutherford S. J. And,

0:44

um, her name's Sarah Jane. And I, S.

0:47

S. J. I don't like Sarah Jane.

0:49

S. J's fine. So

0:52

how about you get off your high horse and then shove it

0:54

up your fucking asshole. It is

0:56

up my asshole. Um, S. J. We were

0:58

just talking about how you from Rutherford and I

1:00

said, Rutherford falls. Isn't that a TV show? It

1:02

is a TV show. It's got Ed Helms and

1:05

it's a peacock original. Yeah. Rutherford falls. It was

1:07

all we watched it. Is it based on

1:09

your town or where, where, where exactly? That's,

1:11

that's an American one. I don't think that's what SJ

1:13

is. It's like. Maitland

1:16

like this new car full. Yeah.

1:18

I know a new castle is well, I've heard of

1:20

it. I said the Hunter Valley. It's two hours from

1:22

Sydney. I said the Hunter Valley. The Hunter Valley. Yeah.

1:25

Isn't the Hunter Valley in Victoria? No,

1:28

you're thinking of, um, Jamanji. No. You're

1:33

thinking of the Yarra Valley. Yarra Valley. Yeah.

1:36

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No,

1:38

we're about like 45 minutes

1:40

from like the Hunter Valley where all

1:42

the wineries are and stuff like that.

1:45

So, come on. Yeah. Yeah. SJ, will

1:47

you approve today's podcast? I

1:50

will totally approve this podcast.

1:52

Excellent. Thank you. Hi.

1:54

It's SJ from Rutherford and I approve

1:56

this podcast. ceramic

10:00

mug At

10:02

a cafe at a cafe at a

10:04

cafe to at a cafe near where

10:06

I used to live People used

10:09

to do that. You don't live there anymore in Richmond

10:11

It was the one actually downstairs from our

10:14

old studio There was this guy

10:16

and I'd see him fairly regularly and he would

10:18

like look like he just rolled out of bed

10:21

and obviously just like Grabs to and he was

10:23

probably like I'm not gonna get a takeaway cup

10:25

every time Yeah, not that good for the environment

10:27

or whatever. But and it just like really gave

10:29

me the Two

10:33

ceramic mugs and you know how the mugs at

10:35

your house never fucking match They're like one from

10:37

a company picnic you went to 18 years ago

10:39

and the other ones like The

10:41

West Australian Football Club, but not the right one or

10:44

the wrong one. Just one of them Sorry,

10:47

fuck me, you know and

10:49

it's like random shit and it's like world's

10:52

best boss or like my dad rules Down

10:56

to the cafe and goes flat white cappuccino Yeah,

10:58

and then have to go. Oh the flat whites

11:00

in the dock is mug and the Charging

11:05

you extra for the mug a Chino. That's what I

11:07

want to know like Yeah, I'm

11:09

like, oh Muggage

11:14

and it's 50 cents. That sounds so English.

11:16

Oh, I got big my gauge Hey,

11:22

it's SJ from Rutherford and you're listening

11:24

to Tony and Ryan I'm

11:39

a nice shout out to a few of our champion

11:41

top is over at our patreon You can check out

11:43

all of the information in our show notes a little

11:46

description of every episode Carly Whittaker,

11:48

sorry, my eyes just stopped fucking

11:50

working for a second Take

11:54

my glasses on and off yeah, we

11:56

start like a phone Mickey got on

11:58

you Mickey Christine Ching Parma

12:00

and Phil, not the doctor.

12:03

Okay. So it's not Dr. Phil. He's out of the moment.

12:06

He's way out. Yeah. Yeah. Turns

12:09

out he's also not a

12:11

doctor. Really? Yeah. Yup.

12:14

Wow. To be

12:16

fair, if surely we all knew like, believe it

12:18

or not, Ricky Lake, not

12:20

a therapist. Like what? Yeah.

12:23

Yeah. I know. I'm

12:25

so sorry. If you need a moment to think about that, we can

12:27

stop and then restart. Can I tell you about this viral

12:30

clip I saw from Dr. Phil? Yeah.

12:33

So there's no good person in this story.

12:35

Let me just be clear. Oh, and there

12:37

isn't in that shit. So this one guy,

12:39

do you remember? I

12:42

fucking feel bad even saying it. Remember bum

12:44

fights? What? Fuck.

12:47

So. What's a bum fight? You put

12:49

your bums together? No. Like scissoring

12:51

butt back. Uh, believe it

12:53

or not, that would be way better than

12:55

what bum fights actually is. It's basically just

12:57

like fuck heads at the start of the

12:59

internet. We're like, Hey, you two homeless people

13:01

will give you 50 bucks each and like

13:03

to fight. Oh, that's so fuck. I've never

13:05

heard of that. It's fucked. I

13:07

don't do the dark web though, if that's what it is.

13:09

Oh, but basically like they need the money and they're so

13:12

desperate, they're willing to. That's so

13:14

fucked up. I believe a fair bit of

13:16

it was actually fake. That makes you feel

13:18

better. Well, not real, but slightly maybe. Um,

13:21

but so anyway, this guy gets

13:23

brought on to Dr. Phil and

13:25

Dr. Phil's basically like, what

13:28

kind of piece of shit are you? The guy who was

13:30

like filming them. Filming it. And it was

13:32

like a bit of a YouTube thing. That's yucko. And so he goes,

13:34

so let me get this straight. You

13:37

put people on screen to make fun of

13:39

how badly they're doing so you can make

13:41

money. And the guy dead

13:43

face goes, yeah, kind of like what you do.

13:48

And I went, yeah. Yeah, yeah,

13:50

yeah. Like

13:53

the math. Yeah. Yeah.

13:57

And I was like, like I said, there's no good

13:59

guy. There's no winner. that argument, but I was like,

14:01

well, when you put it that way. Yeah. You

14:03

get another part that he's dressed as Dr. Phil

14:05

as well. Oh yeah. He looks nothing like him.

14:09

Well, yeah, it's a bit of

14:11

a whole fine internet moment there. Anyway. So thanks to

14:13

not Dr. Phil. Yeah. Yeah. Because just

14:15

normal Phil, not Dr. Phil. Should we move

14:18

on? All right. So

14:20

this Saturday history is being made.

14:23

History is that too extreme. Well, it's Tony Lodge history.

14:25

Tony Lodge history. That's exactly right. In Tony Lodge's history.

14:27

Yes. Has she attended a movie marathon? No, I wasn't

14:29

allowed to when I was a kid. My mum said

14:31

you couldn't do that till you 18. Yep.

14:33

And now you've just ticked over your little. Yeah.

14:36

Young chicken. Yeah. And

14:38

we're doing three movies. Yeah. It's going to

14:40

be awesome. Now the rule is, is

14:43

that when we call you, you have to answer by

14:45

saying, I want to spend the night

14:47

with Tony and you have to sound excited about it.

14:49

Yeah. So if you say the wrong words or

14:51

you're not enthusiastic, bad luck. You're out. Or you

14:53

go that, hello. Yeah. You're

14:55

out. Should we get started? You're out.

14:59

All right. Let's

15:01

call leash coming hand and people in

15:03

the Facebook group. I feel like she's

15:05

a very regular. Comment. She pops up all

15:07

the time. Yep. Come

15:09

on leash. Hello,

15:13

Alicia speaking. No,

15:17

I thought it was the 12. Oh,

15:20

no. I

15:24

had it in my calendar. You

15:26

all kidding me. I'm

15:29

so sorry. We were really excited

15:31

to meet. Oh, no. Oh,

15:35

well, anyway, I hope somebody else enjoys

15:37

it as much as I would. Oh,

15:40

you really tried to sound sweet, but

15:42

I know there's been a minute. Yeah.

15:46

I'll just go cry. It's all right. She's

15:48

trying to get you. Don't fall for a

15:50

target. Yeah. Sorry. Yeah. I'm about to crack.

15:52

Yeah. All right. Love you. Love you. Shame.

15:55

Shame. Shame. Shame. Oh,

15:57

Nicole and Corinne. I

16:01

want to spend the night with Tony. Yes! You're

16:04

in, Corinne. Yay!

16:07

Thank you. Oh no, thank you.

16:09

Thank you for entering. That's all right. I'm

16:11

in the middle of a team leader huddle.

16:14

Is everyone else there? Say I just ran to the back of the

16:16

room. Okay,

16:19

put it on loudspeaker and go back

16:21

in. I've got a question to ask them. Hi

16:24

everyone, sorry for interrupting the chat. Hi

16:28

everyone, sorry for interrupting the

16:30

meeting. No, I'm with

16:32

Tony. No, only

16:34

Corinne's coming. Only Corinne, sorry

16:36

guys. Hey, how

16:38

would you describe Corinne in one word? Fantastic,

16:42

amazing. They're

16:44

sucking up to you, Corinne. They all want to

16:47

be your plus one. All right, I will send

16:49

you a message, Corinne. All the

16:51

best at the meeting though. Love you, bye. Yes,

16:54

thank you. Is

16:57

someone else? Thanks. She

16:59

wasn't talking to you. Yeah, she wasn't talking to

17:01

you. We're in a private pool right now, so

17:03

if you could fucking mind your friends and she's

17:06

like, yeah, great. What? Tony,

17:09

can you just explain this real quick? Okay, so the

17:11

next person that we're calling is Tom. But

17:14

all of the details in the entry say

17:16

I've entered my husband into this competition. He's

17:18

a huge fan, but we don't know if

17:21

we're calling the partner or

17:23

Tom. And if Tom

17:25

knows how to answer. Or if Tom knows

17:27

about the thing. So I don't know if

17:29

this person's partner has really stuffed them up.

17:32

Or if we're just calling to say, hey, you didn't

17:34

win something you didn't know about. Well,

17:37

it's not really a loss if you didn't know you were getting it,

17:39

eh? Yeah, but why would we call and say, well, you haven't won

17:41

now? Hello?

17:46

Oh, no, Tom. It's

17:48

Tom, hello. Oh, Tom. So

17:51

your partner has entered you into a Tony and Ryan competition.

17:54

It's Tony and Ryan, by the way, from a podcast. Oh,

17:56

hello. He

17:58

entered you into a... people

28:00

are like connecting and making friends just

28:02

really cool. Well, but back to the

28:04

bum far. So. Well,

28:06

this, yeah, this. So

28:10

should I have got to take it? Yeah.

28:13

We aren't good at this. Alex

28:16

Emmanuel says, my love to

28:18

say it is taking a stroll to the Preston market

28:20

and some chicken and out. He pulls up and bites

28:22

the boobs at me. Do

28:26

you know Alex actually say that? I'm just

28:28

reading the comments, mate. That's

28:30

all I'm here to do. I feel exposed.

28:32

Sorry. I said boobs. He wrote boobies. Oh

28:35

yeah. Make it a bit more classy. Yeah.

28:38

Do you think? Cause I can't say jig to

28:40

it. I can't do it. Cause

28:43

it just is so silly. All

28:47

right. I can't

28:49

do it. I can't do it. What is it

28:51

about the word that

28:54

makes you jiggle like a child? I

28:56

don't know. I've

28:58

never been able to say it. I

29:02

can't do it. I can't do it. What do

29:04

you refer to them as when you're at home with Torb's?

29:08

Oh no. Oh no. I hate

29:10

this already. No, I've definitely said, I think, you

29:13

know, the other day we were talking about like

29:15

show me your boobies and

29:17

stuff. Chillsies. Chillsies, yeah. Chillsies

29:19

is normally what I say. And that's something,

29:21

one of the girls I worked with, like

29:23

one of my closest friends, Lauren, well,

29:26

I worked with her in the Deli at Coles and

29:28

she called them that once as a joke. And we

29:30

just still say it. She's

29:32

got two kids now. She probably like chillsy fed them,

29:35

you know? Like that's

29:37

like, like she's like that kind of person.

29:39

Instead of feeding them from a tick. Oh,

29:41

that's fucked. I

29:44

don't like that. I don't like

29:46

that at all. Yeah, tick fed. Oh, sorry. I

29:49

actually, we might beat that. Might be, that might be

29:51

a beep. Do

29:54

you think there's, could be a

29:56

new internet game where you see

29:58

a pair of boobies? and

30:00

they're either boobs, boobies or tits.

30:03

Or like the rat or the frog. Yeah, like

30:05

everyone's one. And cause sometimes you go,

30:07

oh, that's like. Do

30:09

ya? Do ya? Is that what you're doing? No

30:11

one's in the house with a question. Oh, yeah, that's what you're doing. No,

30:14

but I feel like if you said it enough

30:16

times, you'd start to categorize. Oh

30:18

yeah, I guess so. Pull up

30:20

some tits. No, no. What

30:23

do you reckon? No. Oh, boobies.

30:25

Boobies, yeah. No, I

30:27

think, I don't think it's a based on visual.

30:30

I think it's based on age. Oh, I thought you said

30:33

it's based on attitude. Like no, it's like as

30:35

you get old, like when you're a little kid, it's like,

30:37

boobies, boobies. A little kid. Yeah.

30:40

How old are you? Yeah, that's me. Come

30:42

on. Tomorrow on

30:44

the show. Do

30:47

you remember the story about the seagull and

30:49

the cafe? Oh,

30:51

yes. I'll bring everyone else up to speed

30:53

tomorrow, but would you believe there's a

30:55

follow-up? I

30:57

don't believe it actually. All the

30:59

seagull chat we've had on this show. Let

31:02

me just read the first line of this email. Uh-huh. Hello,

31:05

Tony, Ryan, and Tarpers. I need some help. That's

31:08

a pretty standard way to start an email. Wow,

31:10

you really hooked me, dude. Yeah, I need some

31:12

help with a seagull related issue. Why

31:15

are we the place

31:17

to go for that? Trust

31:21

me. Of all the things that are upsetting, that's up

31:24

there. I know. If that's

31:26

upset you, this

31:28

whole email, and I don't want to belittle

31:30

the person that sent us to it, but

31:33

the questions they ask leave me with

31:35

more questions than answers I have to

31:38

give, such as why am I... Tune

31:41

in tomorrow to video shows, so you'll be able

31:43

to see it in all its glory. And

31:46

it's... Yep,

31:49

nope, that's it. Love ya. See

31:51

you tomorrow for that, for the seagull. That's

31:57

good. That is good. That is good. Thanks

32:00

for watching!