2:00

your main language on Duolingo? Yes, that was my

2:02

main language. Yeah, I couldn't talk. Look out for

2:04

me. Little word,

2:06

will you approve today's episode? Well,

2:10

Tony just spoke German.

2:12

So, well, maybe now of course.

2:15

Yeah, because I was sharing my language, not

2:17

because I, you know what I mean? I

2:19

know what to mean. I

2:21

will forgive you. Oh

2:24

my God. Zootalore,

2:27

that's French. Hey,

2:31

it's the little word from the Netherlands and

2:33

I approve this podcast. Please

2:48

enjoy this episode of Tony and Ryan because it could

2:50

be our last. I think it might be. Either

2:54

the roof is about to fall down or

2:56

a seagull has entered the building. Do

2:58

you reckon it's the same one that was at Seagull's

3:00

house? Which one of the four? Great

3:03

point. I'm so sorry. But

3:05

there's definitely some, is there like a possum

3:07

on the roof? There's a half of activity currently.

3:11

If anyone can hear footsteps mid episode.

3:14

And we stopped talking. The

3:17

rodents have got us. The

3:19

rodents? Splinter. Spooky. Speaking

3:23

of spooky, let's do Confessions. Tony

3:28

and ryan.com.au. There's a little

3:31

Confessions tab. You can submit Confessions, normal on

3:33

ours. They're annoyingly anonymous. We

3:35

can't get back to you. So don't go. If you've got

3:37

any questions, follow up. Now

3:39

we got stuck

3:42

yesterday on an appealing,

3:44

peeling penis. And

3:46

then you said maybe it's appealing, appealing

3:48

penis. Let

3:51

me read the confession. A

3:53

boy who treated me bad ended up

3:55

with a peeling penis. Which

3:58

would be an unappealing. have

6:00

one of those twisty all-in-one taps. It's like

6:02

the hot and the cold in the middle

6:04

sprout. I actually

6:06

do have one of those twisty taps

6:08

and yeah, yeah,

6:11

it is nice. Alconfessa has

6:13

something to say. I

6:18

got the wrong tap. Scold

6:22

the penis. I turned the hot on

6:24

full blast, sending the hot water straight

6:26

onto his bobbling junk and the water

6:28

was so hot that his cock and

6:30

balls instantly started blistering up like a

6:33

scorched marshmallow over a campfire. You

6:37

would just feel

6:39

so bad. He was a bit of

6:41

a jerk and maybe this was just

6:44

the universe doing its thing. I

6:47

felt really awful at the time but

6:50

yeah, looking back, it's just the

6:52

universe trying to get me out of a bad

6:54

situation. He was a

6:56

bit of a fuckhead. I don't think that

6:58

you have to burn someone though. I don't

7:00

think that's necessary. If a girl didn't like

7:03

me that I was dating and they said,

7:06

I don't think we're right for

7:08

each other or

7:10

she was like, I'm going to burn your

7:12

dick to a blisters. I'd probably cop the

7:14

first one. Yeah. You know? Yeah. I

7:16

mean, if I had to choose. Because that's

7:18

short term pain. A blistering cock though, long

7:20

term, isn't it? Longer. You've got to deal

7:23

with that for a while. Yeah. Fuck.

7:26

That is just, you

7:29

would feel awful. You would feel so bad,

7:32

especially if you were just mucking around and

7:34

you're like, shit, I'm so sorry. How good

7:36

of an effort, how

7:38

much of an effort did you have to put

7:41

into the sex before the bath? Like,

7:46

do you go in and give it your best?

7:48

I feel like- Is that the least you can

7:50

do? Yeah, I think it is the least you

7:52

can do. But also, if you're proud of yourself,

7:54

you would want to do your best anyway. Put

7:56

your best foot forward. Yeah. But I mean, if

7:58

this person was a fuckhead, then maybe they- It's

8:01

coming over throwing it in finishing up and fucking

8:03

off. Yeah, maybe she didn't even get to come.

8:05

Yeah. Maybe she should have burned his penis.

8:07

Yeah. So I changed my whole thing. Yep.

8:10

Our next confession is titled Tiny

8:12

Little Sweet Baby Jesus. My

8:17

parents know lots of people from church and

8:19

all the families used to have the other

8:21

families over for dinner. How lovely.

8:24

It's quite sweet. You come over for dinner next weekend, oh

8:26

we're going to buddy old mates, you know, just the little

8:28

neighborhood. I feel like they do that on the Simpsons a

8:30

bit. Yeah. When I was

8:32

six or seven, every time I went with my

8:34

parents to other people's houses, I would always steal

8:36

their tiny, sweet little baby Jesus. Abduction.

8:42

I thought they were like a cute little baby for

8:44

my Barbie. So like

8:47

they'd have like an activity set and she'd be like, oh, little

8:49

Jesus and then get home and like the thing. Oh,

8:53

is that the ultimate sin? Do you think stealing

8:55

a Jesus? I think that doesn't get much

8:57

worse than that. And

8:59

I know someone with a blistered dick. Have

9:04

you ever burned your penis? Cause

9:07

that would just have to be the worst pain. I don't think

9:09

I've burned. I don't know what you'd be doing to burn it.

9:12

Well you're in the bath. You hit the wrong thing. You

9:15

like pour a cup of tea on yourself. So I don't

9:17

use lube. Road

9:19

rash. Sorry. I'm

9:22

really embarrassed. A few

9:24

months ago. Anyway, back to the Jesus. A

9:28

few months had gone by and people

9:30

around the neighborhood are starting to go. I

9:34

think I've lost my sweet tiny little baby Jesus

9:36

and someone else goes, I'm also missing my sweet

9:38

little tiny baby Jesus. And it becomes a bit

9:40

of a theater. Did

9:42

you hear about old mates? I've also lost my

9:44

sweet tiny baby Jesus. It's a miracle. Then

9:47

one day mum came into my room, opened

9:50

up a tiny little purse and

9:53

found out that I had 15

9:55

tiny sweet little baby Jesus. Doesn't

10:01

this feel like the opening scene of a horror film

10:03

and it turns out she murdered 75 people? It's

10:07

really... Just

10:12

the visual of opening

10:14

the little purse with

10:16

all the little packages and stuff

10:19

is so funny. Also,

10:24

15 baby Jesuses. That

10:33

is so many dinner parties. Well,

10:35

like I said, the people from the church are

10:38

getting some... all the families were close and tired

10:40

and whatever. I'd love to go to that many

10:42

dinner parties. Yeah. That sounds

10:44

fun. You'd have to go to the church though.

10:46

And you lose your baby Jesus. Yeah. Is it

10:48

worth it? I guess you could all

10:51

buy enough. I'm sure you could buy another tiny,

10:53

sweet little baby Jesus. Yeah. For the

10:55

price of a dinner party, I think that's pretty good. I

10:57

actually agree. I think the fee... She

11:00

goes, well, if you want me to attend, that's my talent fee.

11:02

My rider is a tiny, sweet little

11:04

baby Jesus. I don't

11:06

know why I took so many. It's

11:08

the thrill. You got... Once you

11:11

pop, you can't stop. I'm

11:13

about to say something that I might regret. Actually,

11:16

I don't think I can. Say it. Say

11:20

it. I understand the thrill of stealing

11:23

something. Ryan. Yeah. Why?

11:26

What's your experience? I stole something the other day. What did

11:29

you steal? And I fucking felt a lot. What did you

11:31

steal? Even the thought of it now is bringing me back.

11:33

What did you steal? And where was

11:35

it from? It was from a big corporate

11:37

chain. Conglomerate.

11:39

I'm a big conglomerate. Does that make you

11:41

feel better that it was a big chain?

11:45

That's bringing prices up for everyone else, just so you

11:47

know. I'm not proud of it, but I just... I'm

11:49

just saying I understand. I'm being vulnerable. Okay, what did

11:51

you steal? I purchased... Huh. Two

12:01

bags of firewood. Okay.

12:05

So I can guess what conglomerate it was. Yeah.

12:09

From a service station. You know, that

12:11

little things of wood on the side of it. Yeah.

12:13

Because sometimes we like top up because we get a

12:15

big load from... Little Johnny's firewood. I don't think that's

12:17

a big conglomerate. So we

12:19

get our like main big stock of firewood for the winter,

12:21

but sometimes like, Oh, we just need a bit of kindling.

12:24

And the service station usually has a little bits. Yeah. And,

12:26

um, paid

12:29

for two bags. Guess we came home with three. Three bags.

12:31

Cause they just give you the key. It's

12:34

an honor system though, isn't it? And I'm not honorable.

12:37

Um, but, but I kind of like, I actually did it

12:40

to be honest. Um, what

12:42

do you call it? Subcon... Like... You just

12:44

grabbing it. Yeah. Tucked him in the back. Yeah. And then I

12:46

got home and I opened the boot and there was three in

12:48

the thing and I went, so

12:52

here's the question I was faced with. And

12:54

here's the question. The parents of the sweet

12:57

little sweet baby Jesus dealer. It was... The

12:59

theft. Yep. Do

13:02

you take it back or

13:04

is that even more weird? Cause

13:07

I kind of went like now that I've stolen

13:09

it, like the person at the servo doesn't give

13:11

a fuck or no or care. Yeah. Is this

13:14

just like, just keep the wood?

13:18

And does the parent go, the

13:20

whole neighborhood has been talking about the tiny,

13:22

sweet little baby Jesus. Do I confess? What

13:24

would you want Mabel to do as

13:28

a father, proud father? What would you want

13:30

your daughter to do if she'd stolen the

13:32

firewood? What would like, what

13:35

would you want her to do? I want her to

13:37

stay warm all winter. And

13:41

tip 15 tiny sweet baby Jesuses into the

13:43

fire with the wood and burn the evidence

13:45

down. What I was going to say about

13:47

the sweet tiny... Surely that's sacrilege. Yeah. That's

13:50

that fucking sending you right downstairs. Yeah. I

13:52

think, um, I

13:54

think though, like if it was one tiny

13:56

baby Jesus and they go, Oh, I'm so

13:58

sorry, little Caroline. taken this by mistake for

14:01

a little baby for her Barbie. They

14:05

will think that that child is that

14:07

antichrist. And it probably is. They're

14:09

right in thinking that. That's

14:11

where they actually got the idea for the movie The Exorcist.

14:14

Hi, it's Nate Award from the Netherlands

14:19

and you are listening to Tony and Ryan. A

14:34

massive shout out to a few of our champion tubbers

14:36

over at our Patreon. Josh Brown, good on you Josh.

14:38

Thanks Josh. Kaitlyn Sandoval, Iona

14:40

Wilson and Emma Farquhar. Thanks

14:43

Em. Emma Farquhar. Hardly Noah.

14:45

I sure am. I

14:49

feel like we did talk about it yesterday,

14:51

but big announcement coming next Monday. Bit

14:54

of fun on the way. We're really excited about it.

14:56

You'll all be very excited about it. And

14:59

there might be a few people that we've mentioned on this pod that

15:01

will get to enjoy that, if you know what I'm saying. I'm

15:04

just looking through the list here.

15:06

Ashie Jade. Oh, hot ash from

15:08

Perth. Screaming, crying, throwing up. She's

15:11

always doing that. That's her default.

15:14

Yeah. Lots of

15:16

people saying, two-ers. A

15:19

lot more strap-on chat. Yeah, a lot

15:21

of strap-on chat. And I feel like that's fair enough.

15:23

We've led them to that. Jessica said you're finally

15:25

coming to Canberra. I'd love

15:28

to. I wish that was the announcement. Well,

15:30

it might be. Ooh, stay tuned. Well,

15:37

fuck me. If it isn't that time of year

15:39

again, I had to go get my fucking car

15:41

serviced yesterday. Don't you hate that? Don't

15:44

you hate that? It

15:48

sucks. Can you come and bring it in at the

15:50

least convenient time possible and the hardest to get to

15:52

place in the middle of peak hour traffic? That'd be

15:54

great. Thank you. And then you pay us. You

15:56

let us fucking rob you at the end of the day.

16:00

Actually, what you've described is exactly what they

16:02

do. And then you go there and you're

16:04

fucking sitting there for ages, you're trying to

16:06

figure it out anyway. But

16:08

like, I feel like every time I've got

16:10

to take my car in, there's just like

16:12

something. There's just something. And

16:15

because you're going in there and it's like a heightened thing,

16:17

because it's like, you know, it's going to be expensive and

16:19

you're trying to like... I

16:22

also think like, as

16:25

a girl, I worry sometimes

16:27

that like, I'm going to

16:29

get taken for a ride. You're going to

16:31

get pretty woman-ed. That doesn't

16:33

happen in that film. Oh, but as in like, they

16:36

look you up and down and don't take you

16:38

seriously. Yeah, or that like, they're going to go,

16:40

oh, well, the flux capacitor needs replacing. And I

16:42

go, okay, but my car doesn't have that. I

16:45

don't have a DeLorean. Do you know what I

16:47

mean? So the thing is, is that I don't

16:49

know anything more about cars than you do, but

16:51

you're probably right. Like, because they could take me

16:53

for a fucking ride. A hundred percent. Because I

16:55

don't know fucking anything about cars. But

16:57

the people are like, so I think that I

16:59

go in there and I already feel like a

17:01

little bit nervous. I don't think I'm rude or

17:04

defensive or anything, but I think I feel a

17:06

bit nervous about like, whether they're going to just

17:08

tell me a bunch of shit and I'm just

17:10

going to eat it up because I don't know

17:12

any better. Yeah. But anyway, I had to take

17:14

my car to get like, just a routine service

17:16

and it was at the Audi and Doncaster. Yeah.

17:18

It's not far from where one of

17:20

our producers James lives. Yeah. And so I

17:22

had to drop my car for like 7.30 am. Yeah.

17:27

And I'm like, oh, would it

17:29

be okay if one of you guys can pick me

17:31

up? And James goes, absolutely. Like, I'll come and grab

17:33

you in the morning. No problems at all. It's right

17:35

around the corner from my house. So he picks me

17:37

up. I'm like, we go and get coffee and then

17:39

we come into office and I'm like, great. We can

17:41

fucking, we're all good. And you guys are

17:43

coming in to meet us. And then I

17:46

knew that I'd need to at some point

17:48

in the day, they closed up. They were

17:50

like, we shut at five. So

17:52

we'll text you when your car's ready. Yeah.

17:54

But like, you have to come before five.

17:56

Yeah. And I said, like,

17:58

I'll have to head off at some point. and grab my

18:01

car. And Ryan goes, Oh my god, mate,

18:03

I'll drop you off to pick your car up. And

18:06

I go, Oh, you don't have to do

18:08

that. And he goes, That's not what you said. I'm

18:11

defensive now. And I

18:13

go, Oh, you don't have to do that. And you go, Yeah,

18:16

I'll fucking drop you off. And I go,

18:18

Oh, that would be great. Actually, like awesome.

18:22

I get the text that my car's ready

18:24

at like two o'clock. And

18:26

we're still like 2pm. We're still working.

18:28

And I'm like, cool. I just um,

18:30

oh, my car's done. And we're

18:33

all like, Oh, awesome. And I'm like, so

18:35

I've just got to go before five. And

18:38

I'm like, it's about half an hour away.

18:40

So I wouldn't want to get

18:42

there any later than like 430 in case when

18:45

I get there, I've got to do a bunch of shit or whatever.

18:47

It gets closer

18:50

and closer to some crucial steps. But that's

18:52

okay. What are the crucial steps? I'd

18:55

love to fucking hear him about how I couldn't

18:57

probably fit in your car. Because you had all

18:59

the stolen goods in there. That's

19:02

one of them. That

19:09

Oh, no, I'd love to hear it, mate. Fucking let me

19:11

have it. I

19:14

just want to add a tidbit. Yeah, please. Is

19:16

when you said that at two o'clock, I was

19:19

like, all right, let's go. And you

19:22

went, Oh, no, you've got more work to do. You don't have to rush

19:24

now. Don't go now. Wait till you're done. Like

19:30

you probably didn't expect it

19:32

to be as long as I was. Because

19:35

when they close at five, I shouldn't tell you it's a 427

19:38

that probably should get an Uber. That's

19:40

probably not what I should do.

19:42

Yeah. Well, I've been foreshadowing. However,

19:44

I was ready

19:48

to go straight away. And you're like, no, it's fine.

19:51

It's fine. Because I was also in the mess. So

19:53

I was like, Oh, I'm happy to

19:55

because you didn't want to put me out. It

19:57

wasn't even really about that. But I was like,

19:59

Well, I'm not going to go. get my car

20:01

and then come back here to

20:03

tarp tower. So I believe that someone,

20:05

some stage between two o'clock and 4.27 probably should have

20:08

made a decision. Probably. No,

20:10

because then I said, oh, it's getting. Probably the guy that said, I'll

20:12

do it. But I mean, who's

20:14

pointing fingers. And no empty office. No

20:17

empty office. So when you said, I can

20:19

take you and I went, that would be awesome.

20:21

Genuinely, I was like, that would be awesome because

20:23

then like, how easy you can take me. We

20:25

get to hang out in the car. How fun.

20:28

I don't like it here. Do you reckon

20:30

stealing wood could be a full time job? I'm

20:33

just looking for career alternatives at this point because

20:35

I don't like how I behaved and I'm embarrassed.

20:39

Well, that's okay. Because

20:41

it gets closer and closer to the time that I've got to leave.

20:43

And I'm kind of like, I was

20:45

getting antsy because I was like, I need to leave

20:47

because it was Friday as well. So if I'd fucking

20:50

left my car there, I wouldn't have been. Yeah,

20:52

go and get it. Yeah. Anyway.

20:56

And so I'm fucking. I'm getting a bit

20:58

antsy and I'm like, I need to leave

21:00

and get the car. And Ryan's like, oh,

21:03

yep, five more minutes. Five more minutes. Five

21:06

more minutes. Fake news, fake news, fake news. Soap is

21:08

here. Don't drag Sophie into this. Sophie is here.

21:11

Anyway. And I'm like, do you

21:13

want me to just go get an Uber? Great idea.

21:16

And you were like, no, no, no, no, no. I didn't say that. I said,

21:18

yep. All good. Great, great idea. I

21:20

said, do you want me to do? Reverse a offer. Don't offer

21:22

to get an Uber and then not take one. I was like,

21:24

do you want me to get an Uber? You're like, no, no, no, no. I'll

21:26

take you. And I went, okay. And

21:28

then like another 10 minutes passes and you go. And

21:31

I was like, are you sure you don't just want me to get an Uber?

21:33

And then you're like, oh, actually that

21:35

would be good. Like I'm not ready to leave. And

21:37

I was like, great. Would

21:40

have been great to know that a bit earlier. That's okay. I'll

21:43

just get an Uber. But basically when

21:45

we decided this was like the second

21:47

I needed to leave. Yeah. You

21:50

were like, we could have decided. And by we, I

21:52

put my, I could have been like, you know what?

21:55

I'm like 330. Yeah. I'm

21:57

probably not going to be ready. Or I just can't be fucked.

21:59

She's also fine, but

22:01

you went, oh, maybe have a look

22:04

and see if there's any cars around.

22:06

Was how you like subtly. Because

22:08

if you, because, okay, here, not so much, but

22:10

where I live, sometimes you go into an Uber

22:12

and there's just no, there's no cars. And I

22:14

was like, well, I'm not going to leave you

22:16

stranded. Of course. But if there is now an

22:18

option for me to not, for me to not

22:20

have to do that, maybe I'll take that up.

22:22

And can I just, when

22:25

you left, I did kind of have a breath

22:27

and went, I should have done that. I

22:30

should have taken it. Yeah. Or

22:32

just, I appreciate that. I should have said that a

22:35

while ago. It's actually like getting the Uber wasn't, it

22:37

was more just that I was like, you knew I

22:39

needed. I would have left an hour ago. Yeah. But

22:42

anyway, it does like, that's all fine. So I end up like

22:44

I quickly order an Uber and one's like three minutes away and

22:46

I'm like, great. So I grabbed

22:48

my stuff and I walk out to the

22:50

car. I get in the

22:52

car and I've actually had a great day. So I'm in a

22:54

pretty good mood and I'm like, fuck it. I'm going to get

22:57

to this place. But it's Friday afternoon. Like who cares? I

22:59

get in the car and

23:02

I get in the back

23:04

passenger side and

23:06

the guy looks into his rear view mirror.

23:09

Like, you know, when you kind of a

23:11

chatting to someone in the front

23:13

seat and they like make eye contact with

23:15

you, like in the rear view mirror, like

23:17

that's how you can like actually talk to

23:20

them. So you're not talking to the back

23:22

of their head. He looks into his rear

23:24

view mirror and looks at me and goes,

23:28

podcaster. Oh. And

23:30

I went, oh, yeah. Yeah.

23:35

And I'm like in a pretty good mood. Yeah,

23:38

I am a podcaster. A little pump up for Friday. Yeah.

23:41

Like, oh fuck, you know what? Like this was the right

23:43

choice. And he goes, oh, what's the best

23:45

way to get there? And

23:47

I went, oh, you know what? I'm

23:51

in a pretty good mood. And I'm like, you know what?

23:53

Like, yep, cool. This will make the fucking the

23:56

car ride go fast, which had about work. That's fine.

23:58

And I go, oh, you know, I will like.

24:00

Like when Ryan and I started, like we started

24:02

with two episodes a week and like, he goes,

24:07

podcaster. And he goes like,

24:09

how did you get there? Yeah.

24:12

Okay. Okay. So

24:14

I feel like me and the Uber guy are on the same.

24:16

Yep. So I start giving

24:18

him this spiel about like how

24:21

I became a podcaster. And

24:25

I realized like, we haven't left yet.

24:27

We're not moving. And

24:29

then he goes, so

24:33

should I just follow the GPS? And

24:37

in that moment I realized that he

24:40

didn't say podcaster. He

24:42

said, doncaster.

24:49

Did the term, how do you, how

24:51

did you get there? Well,

24:53

I'm like on podcasting and

24:56

he's got a GP. Why would he ask me how

24:58

to get there? He's got the information. Yeah. First

25:01

of all, Uber driver, you've got a GPS attached to

25:03

the thing. So instantly I'm like, well, you know, I'm

25:05

paying you for that. But then also

25:07

like a lot of the time. How far into

25:09

the storage you go? Well, I literally, it was

25:11

probably like a 45 second

25:13

spiel of like, oh, you know, we started

25:15

doing this and the videos and whatever. How

25:17

long do you reckon that 45 seconds felt

25:19

like to that guy? Well, he was looking

25:21

at me and I thought he was a

25:23

fan of the pod because

25:26

that's what I thought he'd said. And

25:29

then I met Ryan and then we moved into this space. So

25:31

I think high street would be the best

25:33

way to drive it. But cause

25:35

he's like said that I thought that he was

25:37

like overwhelmed that I was

25:39

in his car because of the way that

25:41

he went. Oh, come on, mate. But

25:44

when people meet us, they're like, oh, like, how

25:46

did you get into it? Or like, I've gotten

25:49

into Uber's before where they got, oh, I've seen

25:51

your TikToks. Like, how do you, how do you

25:53

come up with the ideas? How like that happens

25:55

a lot. Like that happens to you. That's happened

25:57

to us together. Well, enough for me to answer.

26:00

Uber driver like that. How

26:02

on earth? Obviously I

26:04

misheard him and he said Doncaster, not

26:06

Podcaster, but I'm like when he said

26:09

well how did you get there? Or

26:11

like how did you get there or

26:13

whatever? I'm like well you're not

26:15

asking me about the road because you've got

26:17

a jet, you have the address I'm going

26:19

to that's how Uber works. Oh he's like

26:21

Doncaster surprised you're heading back to that neck of

26:23

the woods considering the rev up you gave the

26:26

local shopping centre in their parking situation. It's

26:28

not at the shopping centres okay. But

26:30

I'm like and

26:32

then I'm like oh yeah

26:35

like obviously just follow the GPS

26:37

and then I'm like he did

26:39

not say the word Podcaster, he

26:41

said the word Doncaster. And that's

26:43

fair, that's keep staying on top of you. And

26:46

so how chatty were you for the rest of the trip? Oh he

26:48

was talking to me about electric cars the rest of

26:50

the way which is nice because then I was like

26:52

oh yeah just follow the GPS and then he like

26:54

zooms out and he goes oh at the

26:56

Audi are you picking up a car? And I was like

26:58

oh my name was everything he goes oh electric cars and

27:00

that's like then we end up talking about that for ages.

27:03

But anyway in future

27:07

I might go sorry and

27:09

just double check but it

27:11

just they sound exactly the same. Yeah yep

27:14

yeah but so you did that to me. And

27:18

I apologise that was definitely my fault

27:20

I take it all back I feel

27:22

awful. This would never have

27:24

happened if I spoke up earlier or just drive

27:26

you like the supposedly good friend I'm supposed to

27:28

fucking be. And you know what I'm

27:32

sorry for all of that I'm sorry for

27:34

him and I'm sorry for you. I'm apologise for

27:36

this guy who got the spiel of how

27:38

to be a Podcaster basically did a YouTube

27:40

tutorial in the back of his fucking car

27:43

but yeah so. Do you remember that Uber driver

27:45

that was trying to start

27:47

up a. In the US yeah

27:49

and he had the like meditation channel on the

27:51

um on YouTube. Yeah and so

27:53

we're in his Uber and that is basically

27:56

how that conversation went. Yeah he goes all

27:58

you guys do a podcast I'm doing some YouTube

28:00

stuff as well, do you want to check it out? And

28:02

the thing about having a meditation channel is you can't just

28:04

like check it out for five seconds. Yeah. If someone has

28:06

a comedy video, it's going for 40 minutes. Like, you guys

28:08

want to check it out? I'm like, yeah, sure. And he

28:10

goes, then we were asleep and he presses play and he

28:12

goes, welcome,

28:15

welcome. Reflex

28:17

paper. And we're like, sounds

28:19

great. And he's like, thanks guys. But

28:22

we just did there. And he wasn't

28:24

really that chatty. So there wasn't really

28:26

anywhere to go. But anyway, yeah. So,

28:28

um, mind your podcasts and your

28:31

don't cast because, um, they're not the same

28:33

word. No. Yeah. And people don't give a

28:35

fuck about your job. No, not

28:37

really. Cause then later on he's like, so what

28:39

are you doing? I went, well, I told you

28:41

already told you, you really didn't hear. You already

28:43

know. Um, I got to love to see it

28:45

here. And thanks to Smosh Modges for sending this

28:47

into the group. Beautiful. I don't know if you've

28:49

seen it in the Facebook group, Tony, because people

28:51

have seen it and are just fucking pissing. Amazing.

28:54

Um, let

28:56

me just send you the picture. Oh,

28:58

okay. Text. Yep. Someone just said I

29:00

was fighting for my life and

29:03

there's a picture of the toilet mat,

29:06

uh, in front of the toilet there. What

29:08

can you see? So the bath mat in

29:10

front of the toilet has like the feet

29:12

marks from where someone's been sitting, but then

29:14

like hand prints right in front. That's

29:17

very flexible. They're very close together. Sometimes when

29:19

they're just the organs are creaking and just

29:21

squeezing. You got to get my eyes. It's

29:23

going to make it work and just hold

29:25

on to something and grip. Yeah. Fucking yeah.

29:28

And get ready. But I

29:31

think the awareness says so much with so little,

29:33

doesn't it? Yeah. They say a picture has a

29:35

thousand words and that's a thousand sheets. I reckon.

29:37

And I think a white bath mat is bold

29:39

two way. Do you know

29:42

what I mean? A white towel anywhere is

29:44

bold, let alone in the bathroom. That's what

29:46

I mean. Yeah. I do like the awareness

29:48

that she's finished, turned around, seen the hand

29:51

prints and gone. I will document this. I've

29:53

gone. I was

29:55

fighting for my life. I was fighting

29:57

for my life and I don't doubt that that I was

30:00

in the late. It's like an easy afternoon. No, it doesn't.

30:02

It does not. It looks like a tough afternoon. Looks like

30:04

a few things have gone on there. Yeah. I've

30:07

got to just sweeten us up a little bit. I've got to,

30:09

I love to see here from Em, who

30:12

posted there, who sent this to us and said, guys,

30:14

look what just happened. Turns out I

30:16

have a long lost sister or

30:19

rather I am a long lost sister. No one

30:21

considers that. Yeah, maybe I'm

30:23

the sister. Yeah. And Em says. We

30:25

both got to each other. It's like

30:27

a Hallmark movie and life is so

30:29

weird. And she sent a screenshot of

30:31

the message that says, hi, Emily, so

30:33

nice to meet you. I found out

30:36

a couple of months ago that I

30:38

am Blah's biological daughter. I

30:40

don't know him and didn't know he even existed until

30:42

now. So I guess we're half sisters. Like, do you

30:45

know this person? Like, have you met him? Do you

30:47

have a relationship with him and stuff? And they're starting

30:49

this like conversation. But

30:52

I was like, you love to see that because obviously

30:54

you've shared your adoption story

30:57

and that that's all on YouTube, by the way. A few

30:59

people have asked recently, actually I've seen a

31:01

few messages come through of like, oh, will

31:03

Ryan ever share his adoption story? There's like a- It's

31:06

all there. It's all documented there. I got some

31:08

bad news about that, about biological family. Don't

31:11

want to share some tough news. Yeah.

31:14

My half brother Cole is sort of

31:16

dating this Australian girl. Yeah. And

31:19

so like, I'm not like the Australian anymore. Oh.

31:21

Because there's two of us. And

31:24

so she's lovely. It's great to

31:26

see Cole happy, but I don't like it. Because

31:28

I liked being the wild card. And

31:31

now I'm just, now there's two of us. Like no one gives a

31:33

fuck. Yeah. You're just like, oh, that old

31:35

country. Sorry. Sorry.

31:39

Yeah. Yeah. Oh,

31:41

I'm really sorry about that. Thank you. What can

31:43

I do? You can take her out. What can- Whoo!

31:46

No, no, I'm just kidding. What can I do to make you feel a

31:48

bit more special? I actually haven't met her, but she is- But

31:51

what can you obviously need to feel a bit more

31:53

special? How can we do that for you? You want

31:55

me to get you an avocado. We get Janine down

31:57

here. Code A. Code A. Code A. We

31:59

need-