0:00

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name

0:03

is Ryan. This is Dr. Arthur Tony Lodge. You

0:05

all right, mate? Yeah. Sorry. Just

0:07

having fun. Let's call Mark who is

0:09

in Houston, Texas. Oh, I've been to

0:12

Texas? I've been to Houston. No.

0:16

This could be one of the smartest harpers we've had.

0:18

We've had Harvard. We have a Harvard doctor. We've

0:21

had Harvard. Hello. Mark,

0:23

it's Tony and Ryan. How you doing? Big M. Oh

0:26

man. Oh my God. It's

0:28

awesome to hear from you guys. It's awesome to

0:30

hear from you, Mark. I don't want to put

0:32

any pressure on you, but I just said to

0:34

Tony, this might be the smartest tarp we've

0:36

ever had. Are you allowed to tell us where

0:38

you work? Yes. I

0:42

can tell you I work at NASA at the

0:44

Johnson Space Center. What? The

0:47

Johnson Space Center at NASA

0:50

in Texas. What the fuck? Yeah.

0:53

Yep. Yep. So Mark,

0:55

someone who is as smart as you, why the fuck are you

0:57

listening to our show? Yeah, that's not good, Mark. Don't tell your

1:00

friends at work. I mean, you

1:02

guys are hilarious. Should we do a tarp made up in NASA?

1:04

Just at NASA. I don't think we're allowed. Isn't that

1:06

Area 51? What? No. You're

1:08

thinking of Apollo 13. No, you're thinking of Tom Hanks.

1:11

You're thinking? You're thinking of the movie The Terminal.

1:14

Yeah. Ignore everything you

1:16

just heard, Mark. Please

1:18

remain. Is that Area 51 where you can't go? No. What's

1:22

Area 51? That's like where the aliens landed. Space. Actually,

1:24

NASA would be on. NASA. That's

1:26

space. Do you have tours here? Oh, you

1:29

can go to Area 51. No, it's not Area 51. Oh,

1:31

have you been there, Mark? Can you tell us? No, I

1:33

haven't. I haven't. I haven't.

1:35

I haven't. I haven't. I

1:37

haven't. I haven't. I

1:39

haven't. I haven't. I

1:42

haven't. I haven't. I haven't.

1:44

I haven't. I haven't. No,

1:48

I haven't. I haven't been to Area 51. He

1:50

definitely has. He definitely has. That's what I got.

1:54

That's what a guy working for NASA who's definitely

1:56

made to Area 51 would say. Yeah, exactly. Well,

1:58

Mark, no further questions. All

2:00

good bro, all good. Will you

2:02

approve today's podcast? I

2:06

will absolutely approve today's podcast. Legend. From Ari

2:08

did you want? From out of space. It's

2:12

Mark from NASA and I approve this podcast.

2:23

All right, today's show is also a

2:25

video show so you can watch it

2:27

on the Spotify app. Hello. As well

2:30

as listening to it wherever you want

2:32

to listen. Yeah. Wherever. Apple. Everywhere. I

2:34

don't know where I'll say it. Let

2:37

me list all of the one things I know.

2:40

That's it. Last

2:42

year I asked people, Tarpers, who was

2:44

in our show, Tony and Ryan Podgusters,

2:47

to send through some amazing coincidences and

2:49

they weren't amazing at all. I think

2:52

it depends on your, how you look at

2:54

it. They were awful. But I found awful

2:56

coincidences to be way more hilarious than

2:58

interesting ones. They were so funny. Because similar

3:01

to Dream Chat is that everyone thinks

3:03

their coincidence is amazing but they're fucking not. Oh,

3:05

I met a guy who was born also in

3:08

June who gives a fuck. Yeah, I don't care

3:10

about that. But it is funny. So now people

3:12

get it though. So they're sending the worst coincidences

3:14

they have and they're fucking so good. A

3:16

personal highlight for me was the girl who

3:18

said she met somebody at

3:21

college who thought

3:23

he knew her brother. That's

3:25

my favourite one so far. One of her chances.

3:28

They didn't know each other. Nope. They

3:30

wasn't the same guy but they thought, the

3:32

guy thought that he knew her brother. And

3:34

that is exactly the kind of shit we're

3:36

after. You want to start with Jasmine or Brooke? Brooke. Coincidence

3:40

chat says Brooke. Hi, Brooke. I

3:42

saw a rabbit in our yard during

3:45

A-ster. I'll

3:52

give you that actually. That's pretty starting.

3:55

Like I think that you would go, oh, he didn't

3:57

take a photo of that. What, cause what's A- this

3:59

isn't him. I

4:02

think you would take a photo of that

4:04

and that's maybe a good enough coincidence. Jasmine

4:06

Serrano. Oh, oh, Serrano ham. Do you know

4:08

what we should do after this? Get a

4:11

little chatury, little picky num

4:13

nums. Fucking yes. Do you know what

4:15

I mean? Like get a little- Not fin ham,

4:18

thick cut ham. A

4:20

thick one? Jasmine Serrano. That

4:24

would actually be really yummy. Do you know what's good?

4:27

A little cheese in the filo pastry. You know,

4:29

when you get that and it's baked in the

4:31

pastry and you're like cutting to it. This

4:34

weekend there is a video coming out on

4:36

YouTube of snacks

4:39

only rich kids had. We

4:42

have filmed it and the leftovers are in the fridge. Yeah,

4:44

there's a lot of shit in there. Yeah.

4:48

The LCC. Hahaha, woo. No

4:50

spoilers. Jasmine Serrano. How

4:53

would a cow like that? Jasmine Serrano.

4:55

How would a cow laugh? Moo moo moo moo.

4:59

Hahaha. Do you reckon? I

5:01

don't know if there's many- Oh,

5:04

an evil cow moo. Hahaha. Hahaha.

5:09

If it was like an

5:11

evil capitalist cow. Capitalist.

5:14

Capitalist. Hahaha. That's funny.

5:19

Jasmine Serrano. Oh, yum, the

5:21

cheese board. We

5:23

went on a honeymoon cruise for our

5:25

honeymoon and one- Shocker, that's the coincidence.

5:28

No, I get better. And we met

5:30

another couple who were also on their

5:32

honeymoon. Jasmine. You guys

5:34

are so weak. You

5:36

guys are so un-h And

5:50

then later in our room, I'd go, oh, the

5:52

honeymoon cruise. Like,

5:54

maybe later on then I'd be like, fuck that's so

5:56

embarrassing. Um, that is fucking

5:58

hilarious. Ig in high make

6:01

an. Hour. Might be make an omega

6:03

in. Mom. Moved

6:05

in the ghetto and. My.

6:09

Sister was pregnant and didn't how many people could

6:11

do the be anxious about the whole thing on?

6:14

Yep. She. Ended up having her

6:16

son on April one. Swenson hosted the

6:18

baby. No one believes her because of

6:20

the April Fools or Die. So sad.

6:22

Now that is sad and an interesting

6:25

story, but there is not a coincidence.

6:28

Or know. More

6:30

about it. And I

6:32

went on at the same. Where's the

6:34

coincidence that? yes, April First. I

6:38

might watch that. Gonna go instances the

6:40

story has already see Coincidence. It's not

6:42

it's it's not a coincidence. Soon

6:54

as. Bad. As loud

6:56

as a cigar. Twenty

6:58

three drops. nothing to

7:00

guess. There's nothing suggests sorry

7:02

that is so funny

7:04

story. Know has

7:07

this I live on so the ropes. Sorry

7:10

but this was owned by the light

7:12

of as a goal is to fucking

7:14

get it together. Julia Hawkins pledges. My.

7:16

Brother and I have the same middle name.

7:20

Is our mom's maiden name. That's.

7:24

Not a coincidence, it's just

7:26

a choice. He parents decided

7:28

something specific shop a coincidence

7:30

would be like if you

7:32

obey if we didn't know

7:34

yet and. Say. We're already named

7:37

and then you time together. And. Yeah I

7:39

made on her That you no your parents

7:41

is made the choice. That. Is

7:43

so the name is Will. pretty

7:45

good his parents fucking charges. Coincidence.

7:49

Of the same name as my mom are. Named

7:52

after. All

7:55

Bless! Speaking of good coincidences, a

7:57

Tony from the good side of

7:59

resume. says, the people

8:01

that lived in my house before me had children

8:04

named Pippa and Ryan. That

8:06

is a fucking coincidence! That

8:10

is a great fucking coincidence. You

8:14

actually have to admit that that is a good

8:16

fucking coincidence. I've read the comments, mate. I don't

8:18

make editorials on this. That's not what I do.

8:21

I was out walking the dog. Oh, I'm doing it.

8:24

No, you tell me all about it. Because

8:26

I'm guessing, after what I've just said, there's

8:28

more to tell. I was out walking the

8:30

dog and the lady that lives across the

8:32

road, who's really nice, she goes, oh, so happy to

8:34

meet you, the dog. And I said, Pippa,

8:36

she said, he did the same

8:39

thing. Go

8:42

on. No. No, fuck

8:44

you. No, I'll be a real good audience for

8:46

you. Go on. No, fuck you. Go on. So

8:49

what did the lady across the street say? She

8:53

said, how do your dogs?

9:02

She said, how do your dogs? Come.

9:05

She's leaving. What? What?

9:08

Hey, it's your dog, me. The

9:12

people that

9:14

live in your house, they had a dog called Pippa as

9:16

well. Dora. Dora? Dora?

9:20

Do they have any other kids? Another

9:24

daughter or a son? A

9:26

son? What was the son's name? What

9:32

was the son's name? Shut up, little

9:34

Ryan. What? Ryan?

9:37

You were the guy with that name. What the fuck

9:39

is your chances? Fuck. You

9:42

should tell him, like, watch out. The

9:48

other thing is, son had his ghost in it,

9:50

but I didn't need to tell it again. I

9:52

think that I would admit that I have fucked

9:54

that up. I think it would be better to

9:56

tell it at a third time. So

9:59

I'm out walking. the dust down. Hey,

10:04

it's Mark from NASA and you're listening to Tony

10:06

and Ryan. I'm

10:17

about

10:20

to shout out to a few of our champion

10:22

toppers over at our Patreon. Emily Fiderico. Thanks,

10:24

Fiderico. Ooh, Fiderico. Fiderico, Fiderico.

10:27

Paige Oleten, good on you, Paige. Brooke

10:29

Donnan, Becky Davis and Irene Van Der

10:32

Sluis. Thank you very much, Irene. And... Oh,

10:35

coincidence. We're both about to say the

10:37

name. And

10:39

the people on the... Yeah, the people on the

10:41

bottom are every tier of Patreon, if you're watching

10:44

on Spotify. Including the suit tier. Inga.

10:47

Suit tier. Tony is the Chief

10:50

People Officer of Tony and

10:52

Ryan Incorporated. She's

10:54

also the Chief First Aid Officer. Which

10:58

I think we agreed to yesterday, kind of implies that

11:00

you'd also be in charge of OH&S. Yeah,

11:02

I think so. Could I also be, do you

11:04

think, a fire warden? Yes. Because

11:07

they get a hat, isn't it? Well, I was

11:09

going to say they have to have a hat. But

11:11

I like your positive attitude. So yes, you are

11:13

also a fire warden. This is actually not a

11:15

fire safe place. We've

11:17

got so many cables coming out of not many

11:19

plugs. There's lots of lights. There's only one... Don't

11:22

do that. There's only one exit. No, but we've

11:24

got a thing. A fridge? Oh, so if

11:26

it's a... No, we've got the sign. We've got the exit light.

11:29

You could go out the danger doors. Oh no, that's dangerous. Hence

11:32

the name. If

11:34

there was

11:37

a fire coming up the stairs though, you could

11:39

jump out, do a little onto my arty. I'd

11:45

like to report an issue. A

11:48

no-h-n-s issue. No, an incident.

11:50

Oh. And you know how always... It's

11:52

our first one. Oh, inter... Yeah, it's our first one.

11:54

It's the best one on the record. And

12:00

you have to report or... Well

12:02

this is being recorded. Or near misses. According

12:05

to Simon Healy at Hotter Family. Okay. So

12:08

I've got a question. Is this

12:10

like, this is a skit. No. So

12:13

that we don't have to, you know. No, you're the... Oh,

12:16

well I'll do this, I'll file this after. There

12:18

is some good news attached though. Okay. Yesterday

12:22

I tripped over in the

12:24

office and like fell really hard. Oh my

12:26

God. You know how we use have

12:28

all those boxes by the door? And see how they're not

12:30

there anymore? Because

12:32

yesterday I had a huge fall and I was

12:34

like, this is fucking dangerous. Where did you hurt

12:37

yourself? Um, I landed on my

12:39

elbow and my, I think one of the boxes

12:41

hit. Oh, that's still a bit tender. It's really

12:43

such a shame that no one saw that.

12:45

Well, someone did. Oh.

12:49

My elbow hit. I'm still tender in the

12:51

ribs and also my leg where I went

12:53

down as well. Uh, and so

12:55

I like hit the deck really hard, but I

12:58

would like to confirm, and this is the good

13:00

news that it was not recorded as me having

13:02

a fall. Oh. You know, I said, I'll keep

13:04

falling over and we'll see where it lands. It

13:06

turns out I just fell over. Good news, everyone.

13:09

Um, but all those boxes, like I fully like

13:11

fucking hit the deck fucking hard.

13:14

And after I hit the ground, I

13:16

fell and you know, that huge mirror. Yeah. So my

13:18

legs hit the bottom of it and like pushed it

13:20

in. So it started to like fall

13:23

over. Sorry, Sophie's

13:25

losing it. Because she was

13:27

here. She saw it. Now,

13:30

I don't know if you're going to be team Sophie

13:32

or team Ryan on this next issue,

13:36

as the head of HR and the

13:38

head of OH&S, I need you to

13:41

decide whether you respect Sophie's editorial decision

13:43

in the moment. You know how that,

13:45

what's it called? Like, um, fight or flight

13:47

or like, what are you going to do? Yeah. So

13:50

I hit the deck. So your first

13:52

response. Yeah. Yeah. So I hit the

13:54

deck, huge thud boxes, fucking calamity. And

13:56

then, oh shit, that mirror's

13:58

going to fall. On Ryan. Yeah. And

14:00

so- And it's very bit, like it would be heavy. It's

14:03

fucking heavy. Yeah. And Sophie like kind of like

14:05

the bang, the shock, and then she like sees

14:07

the mirror start to fall. And

14:09

I was like, fuck, I assume Sophie will probably like-

14:11

She'll run over and grab it. Before it grabs that.

14:14

And then the mirror falls

14:16

down and hits

14:19

me hard. And I actually think that was the rib

14:21

one that got me. And

14:23

I looked up and I was like, Sophie,

14:25

she was holding a sandwich and went- I

14:33

had a sandwich. What

14:36

was in the sandwich? First

14:40

of all, can you confirm that the first

14:43

thing you said was I've had my sandwich?

14:46

What I actually- What I actually said- Yeah, what did

14:48

you say? No, I put down the sandwich and

14:50

I said, I don't know whether to help or

14:52

film. That's

14:56

what I thought you were going to say. Oh, I hope she

14:58

runs over and then she grabbed your phone instead of

15:00

helping you. So you as the head of

15:02

OH&S, do you support- No, absolutely not.

15:05

And Sophie will be spoken to privately about

15:07

that. I- Okay, I didn't expect that. So that we

15:09

can talk about it and laugh. I

15:11

did say get the

15:13

camera. Yeah. Have a look at

15:15

your phone. Oh my God. And if you're watching

15:17

on the Spotify app, this is the aftermath. Oh

15:20

shit. What

15:25

happened? Does this count as a fall? It's

15:28

not a fall. What's this one done for

15:31

you? It's a mirror. Did the

15:33

mirror? No. No. It didn't

15:35

break. It didn't. That's

15:37

pretty good luck. That was a loud

15:39

start, hey. Oh boy. All right. Oh

15:41

boy. I'm recycling. Don't do anything. That

15:44

is my job. So

15:48

the whole mirror followed me and I was

15:50

so shocked it didn't smash and that would

15:52

have done some fucking damage.

15:54

And it was so like, just like I

15:57

just tripped and just fucking ate shit. The

16:00

offered to look a bit like rattled like to.

16:02

you know when something I that happens and you

16:04

just waiting to make sure that everything's. okay

16:06

my head went to the ground but

16:08

in my hit the ground or but

16:10

like hot the ground and i think

16:12

then this massive the mira. A

16:14

kind of took a few moments to go. On.

16:19

Okay, yeah, but all vice.

16:21

So expecting. While. Lock

16:23

on. not knocked out, my shoulders haven't popped

16:25

out. Yes, he does not slabs in every

16:28

way. As like. Thought. That hurt,

16:30

but I'm not but a mark. On.

16:32

Soft have Fine I am, but I was

16:34

rattled for like. Forbid.

16:37

You. You are issued a big

16:39

heavy murals i my raised back in Macias.

16:42

I'm really sorry that that happens.

16:44

Well as head of our heights. Nancy should have

16:46

done better. Ah, There.

16:49

Is video evidence of Sophie sighing? I

16:51

think we should take their a softening

16:53

down you say? that is my job

16:56

site. It is my job so there's

16:58

awkward down a sound minnesota to remind me.

17:01

Will hang on. Remind

17:04

everyone. I was going on. Monday wasn't about

17:06

I was another those I bought. Bring a. Piece.

17:08

Of evidence into the thing. I'll put signs

17:11

up in their office in the past. Yeah,

17:13

I don't, and everybody has blinds me that

17:15

I'm too much. Mood to over the

17:17

top I think the medical my son mas

17:19

well. Take. The Boxes

17:22

Our exclamation. Some I

17:24

think so if you mentioned that when you watch

17:26

the video but she was still a in here

17:28

that she's a things yeah. But

17:30

was in the sandwich. This

17:33

is important to get rough gigs

17:35

of that book containing all you

17:37

know put in a box down.

17:40

And I've always had a. Buck.

17:43

Insane he was there I was or serrano him know

17:45

there was a pest I. Will.

17:47

Have a bread was it on? A. Touch of

17:49

all side said our focus is still

17:52

a cast as you might that I'm

17:54

I'm frustrated together from not a non

17:56

is. Not

17:59

labs. Cappuccino at night with it.

18:01

A magazine? I've yeah, I'm Margaret Cho. You

18:03

are under cover about job. Out like a mug

18:05

with my sock. A chair. Thank you so much. So if

18:08

I saw you falling and was made

18:10

buck in Simi pestered yeah to ah

18:12

yes. At the time

18:14

I be like yo can you help but then

18:16

after that bailouts never stop me. But. I

18:20

would have to san bought. Ah yes

18:22

I'm it does a really good. Sandwich Insane

18:24

as yes if if if you don't know

18:26

actually. Gluten free so so see was doing it

18:28

because what if she touched you eat gluten hands You'd

18:30

be dead. Yeah. You

18:33

know it's not your net. She's actually done new and.

18:35

Monday still hurts Items. That a would

18:37

have pocket had their flaw. Is hard in here

18:39

as well. It did bound for thought about

18:41

the Loomis. Of. Is a little

18:44

bit similar to lay off once. Every

18:46

place I've had so much. Yeah, was

18:48

during lunch yesterday. Yes I am. Hit

18:50

the deck fucking hard. You Porcine Thank

18:52

you. Thank. You yes I know

18:54

what to do. So many her in the

18:56

phone. it's. This

19:01

morning I went and checked

19:03

our. Pay I box. I've

19:06

seen I checked it away. He goes as on

19:08

the south with the my boobs specific. Than

19:11

that and you're on a ah yes yes and

19:13

I was I brought that up says makes it

19:15

I answered he went oh my god like what

19:17

what did you get now the all the stuff

19:19

it up a I boasts and one of the

19:22

things was in. A cardboard box.

19:25

Office have. I been death. I.

19:28

Threw it down the stairs because the to

19:31

the side of the says is where all

19:33

the boxes are weak as we don't have

19:35

recycling on our property so we have to

19:38

get someone to come in and take the

19:40

recycling. y su got like a pile raison

19:42

claims and I throw it down the stairs

19:44

to climb angle around the corner and I

19:47

didn't was. Throwing stuff and you.

19:49

Will was a tiny little box and

19:51

normally when I'm done before it's last

19:54

looked around and gone to the pile

19:56

on this morning, it it didn't It

19:58

bounced off the. Um, railing

20:01

went to

20:03

the bottom issue of the staircase.

20:05

It is obstructing currently the staircase.

20:08

And I said, and I

20:10

said, no one trip on

20:12

that. So

20:15

I think I've done my due diligence.

20:18

Cause I said, got one trip on that.

20:21

And then, what can I do? Put

20:24

it in the pile. The

20:27

safety pile. The safety pile. With my safety

20:29

thumbs on. But it's as if you

20:31

knew because you came in and went, no

20:34

one trip on that. And then Sophie

20:36

just fucking pissed ourselves. I honestly didn't

20:38

know. I know. Yeah. But like, like, it's

20:40

not as if Sophie told me to be like, Oh, I'm

20:42

going to get him again. Get me to put a box at

20:44

the bottom of the fucking stairs. No, it wasn't like that

20:46

at all. I was just like, Oh, no one trip

20:49

on that. Like, ha ha. Almost as if like, who

20:51

would trip on that? We're all over 30 years old.

20:54

Turns out. What's 30 got to

20:56

do with not tripping? Just like we're adults. So

20:58

people not trip at 27. They

21:01

do trip at 27. That's fine because they're children.

21:03

Your fucking story is changing. Well,

21:07

look, as a survivor, I'd

21:10

like to thank everyone. That would have really hurt. I,

21:12

are you all right? Do you feel okay now? Do

21:14

you need a little ibuprofen or something? I

21:18

don't need one, but like. Well,

21:20

maybe take the edge off of your like, ribs a

21:22

little bit. Yeah. But anyway, I'm really glad that you're

21:24

okay and live to tell the tale. I'm so glad

21:26

someone's all right. Start one into the ribs. Just a

21:29

real. Oh, it's and it hurts for a while.

21:31

Yeah, they take a while. I jumped onto

21:33

a jumping castle that was covered

21:35

in dishwashing liquid and water. And

21:38

I slid and someone

21:40

like was sitting there with like their legs.

21:42

You know, when you sit there with your

21:44

legs crossed and their knee got right into

21:46

my fanny bone and

21:49

I had a bruise the color of my frank green

21:51

water. Like it was deep black. But

21:54

it was, yeah. And it was like

21:56

on the, my black. Food.

21:59

Like on. the fat bit, like my little pussy bit,

22:01

my mound, my pubis, my modest

22:04

pubis. And it was literally

22:06

like a bruise. It was

22:08

there for months. And

22:11

I couldn't tell anyone about it because I was like seven

22:13

or eight and I was really embarrassed. As

22:15

would be. Because I was like, well, what

22:17

am I going to do? Show my mum

22:19

like this bruise. And so I just didn't

22:21

say anything. And the person who's, it was

22:23

an adult, like my sister's friend Jacinta, it

22:25

was her kid's birthday. And

22:28

so there was lots of kids there and she was kind of like,

22:30

are you blaming her? No, no, no, no. But she was like

22:33

managing, well, not managing, but like making sure that

22:35

we were all OK. And she goes, oh my

22:37

God, Tony, you're all right. I felt bone. And

22:39

I went, yeah, all good. Like

22:42

because I was so embarrassed that it would hit me

22:44

like in a swimsuit area. Especially at that age,

22:46

you're like, what? And I was just

22:48

like, oh my God. Yeah, I'm so fine. I've got no

22:51

bones. But I wouldn't even worry

22:53

about it anyway. Yeah. And so it was

22:55

the same kind of thing where you just go like, it like takes your breath away.

22:58

Like her. Yeah. Yeah. So

23:01

I'm really that would have really fucking hurt. I'm really sorry. Thank

23:03

you for. Thanks for taking the rubbish. Did Sophie

23:05

make you take the rubbish down after that

23:08

incident happened? No, but it

23:10

was a good reminder for one of us to do

23:12

their job. And

23:15

not Sophie. Sophie did. Sophie was busy.

23:17

She was having a family. I picked up that

23:19

heavy mirror. Did you? She

23:21

got off me. Teamwork makes the dream work. Thank

23:24

you for your great work yesterday. I picked the mirror. I've

23:26

got something that's going to bring you back. Is it a sandwich? No.

23:30

So I've. Sorry. I

23:32

have just got something that I've seen laughing about

23:35

for fucking days. Literal

23:40

days. Am I looking at my phone? No. I'm

23:43

not looking at my phone. No. I'm

23:45

looking at my phone. I'm looking at my phone. I'm

23:47

looking at my phone. I'm looking at my phone. I'm looking

23:49

at my phone. I'm looking at my phone. Literal

23:52

days. Am I looking at my phone? Yeah,

23:54

you can look at it and see if you think it's

23:57

as funny as I reckon. In

24:04

Australia last week,

24:07

there was a major data breach which

24:09

is not funny and you don't like it. No,

24:13

no, no. So that part's obviously not

24:16

funny. On the TV. Oh hang on. Oh

24:19

yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh

24:22

yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

24:24

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh

24:26

yeah. Oh yeah. Oh

24:29

yeah. It's

24:31

like... It's just not on the radio.

24:35

It says... In

24:56

the bit where I'd normally say their name or

24:59

the title, it says Major Data Breach

25:01

and the lady is like a general

25:03

from the army. It's totally like her

25:06

name is Major

25:08

Data Breach.

25:11

I'm Lieutenant Data Breach 1, Major Data

25:13

Breach. And

25:16

I almost threw up.

25:20

And then I'm like trying to take a photo

25:22

because I was like that is so fucking funny.

25:26

And I'm... Like you got a photo because it's not like you have

25:28

a boyfriend that works with a company that can literally get that. It's

25:30

a media logger. No, but this is way funnier.

25:32

Obviously. Anyway, and so

25:34

the photo will pop up on the

25:36

fucking thing and fucking put it everywhere.

25:38

It is so funny though, because it

25:41

looks like that is this person's title

25:43

that it's talking about Major Data Breach,

25:46

which is not funny, but this is.

25:48

So... Yeah. What

25:52

is her name though? They didn't share.

25:55

I think they said, oh, we're speaking to La.

25:58

But I don't see it. Cara Beach.

26:01

Well, I don't know. I'm at the major Hellenbach. I'm

26:03

at the major Dada Beach. No. But

26:05

yeah, I think they said, oh, we're now, our

26:08

correspondent on the ground is Blah. But

26:11

that is what it came and I just literally

26:14

haven't stopped laughing about it since. And every

26:16

time I scroll past it in my

26:18

phone, I just almost panic. Yeah,

26:21

a sip of water. It's just

26:23

so funny, isn't it? It really is. It

26:26

really is. That's better than Hellenbach. You

26:29

reckon? I

26:31

would like to, as I look down the

26:33

barrel of the camera, major

26:35

Dada Beach, thank you for your service. Major Dada

26:37

Beach. Fuck. I'd

26:40

love to see it today. Is

26:44

Tony wearing gold earrings? Just

26:47

rocking them, looking great. Liv

26:50

and Levita, loca. We've

26:53

been texting each other over the last few days

26:55

about colors in the household. You

26:58

texted me a thing like, oh, look at the fancy

27:00

fun color tiles in this bathroom. Yep, it is. And

27:02

I go, oh, this is not the Tony I know.

27:05

I don't not like it, but this is not the Tony

27:07

I know. I'm branching out. And

27:09

then today. Is it too much?

27:12

No, it's just the right amount. I've

27:14

had these in my cart for a

27:16

really long time. They look good. And

27:19

then. You just look lovely. It's

27:21

just that it's really just, and

27:23

I'm not like a jewelry guy, but I just,

27:26

you just, the confidence that the gold gives you,

27:28

it's not about the rings. It's

27:30

about the queen wearing them. Okay.

27:33

Yeah. It's because

27:35

you say you're not a jewelry guy. I mean,

27:38

I don't wear any jewelry. I mean, it

27:40

was a bit like, oh, that's different. And

27:42

then I, you can just, it's the aura

27:44

of the ring. The

27:46

aura ring. Those things

27:48

that track your health. No, not to

27:51

be confused with an aura ring. Yeah.

27:54

It's the aura of the ring. Sorry. Or what's the

27:56

one that is. The Lord of the rings. ring?

28:00

No, you have a ring, the one that you put

28:02

in your puss? Oh no. Lord of

28:04

the Rings though also contraception. That is because

28:06

anal also contraception. Yes. Yeah. Um,

28:08

someone once said to me, no I'm not going to say mine. Very

28:11

good. Um, thank you. That's really sweet. Yes.

28:14

That's my love to see it. And also being alive. Oh.

28:17

After my fall this day. Not you. You're

28:20

like, oh I'm alive. Like no, I'm talking about me now. Yes, you're

28:22

alive too. Look at the earrings. No. Um,

28:24

well that's really nice. Thank you.

28:26

Have a good weekend everyone. Have a

28:28

great fucking weekend. Ryan's off fucking

28:30

getting loose biscuit this weekend. So

28:32

keep your eyes on my Instagram because I

28:35

don't, you post a thing. No,

28:38

this is when you need to leave your phone at home. Nah, just

28:40

of my outfit. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I

28:42

tell you what's real fucked up with some companies.

28:45

You companies. Yep. That's

28:49

what I said. Don't be all fucked up with some

28:52

um, you

28:55

stupid company. We

28:58

have a business. We have a

29:00

company. I've got a company. You've

29:04

seen my company. Is.

29:09

Do you remember when I showed you that picture of my

29:11

nipple? Do

29:14

you remember though that when I, oh my god, I have

29:16

to show you the most fucked up photo. Is that because

29:18

of their hair on it or the cancer scare? No, when

29:20

I thought I, when I was going through

29:22

my cancer, um, scare, but

29:25

on Saturday night, right? I smashed, so

29:27

this is like almost where he goes.

29:29

I smashed my elbow on something. Was

29:31

it a mirror on the floor? No, it wasn't. Unfortunately,

29:34

it was just the back of a chair, but

29:36

I smashed my elbow really bad and it started

29:38

to bleed and I took a picture

29:40

of it to try and see like, to see

29:42

how bad it was. What the fuck

29:44

am I about to say? And this

29:46

picture on it, well you fucking tell me. It's,

29:50

it's so upsetting and we'll pop it on the.

29:58

I know it's just my elbow. But because

30:00

of my psoriasis, it looks full on like

30:02

a nipple. But remember when you did

30:04

that thing with your arm and made it look like a vagina?

30:07

Yeah, that video got taken down off

30:09

TikTok. Really? Yeah, it got, um, I

30:11

prefer, um, community guidelines. Because when

30:13

you said, because I was thinking of that and then you said bleeding

30:15

and I was like, what am I about to say? Oh no,

30:17

no, but it looks like a nipple. Don't you reckon

30:19

it, like, looks like a boob? It does. That would

30:22

get taken down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, but that's

30:24

my, not my boob, it's just my elbow.

30:26

Anyway, what are we talking about? Some

30:29

fucking company. I ordered a

30:31

dress up because it's a costume party.

30:33

Yeah. Saltburn is the theme, by

30:35

the way. Great. Um, and

30:37

so I ordered it and I go, geez, that should

30:39

be here by now. So I log, it was ASOS.

30:42

Oh, ASOS are a little bit hit and

30:44

miss on their delivery at times. So I logged in and

30:46

I go, oh, I wonder where that's up to? And it goes,

30:48

oh yeah, we're not sending it because we didn't have it in

30:50

any size. And I was like, oh, well

30:53

that's fine, but let me know and I'll order

30:55

something else. So anyway. So

30:57

a few days it obviously passed and you're like,

30:59

oh. So this Monday I had to

31:02

reorder a different thing or a different, I don't

31:04

know, some variations. Yeah. It's supposed

31:06

to arrive today and

31:08

I'm leaving to go away for the weekend, like at

31:10

lunchtime. So

31:13

I'm going to go home and either have

31:15

a cracking outfit from Saltburn or

31:18

not. Do we need to find your backup? Well,

31:20

this is the kind of backup. Oh yeah. Do

31:23

you have anything in your wardrobe that

31:25

would work? I haven't

31:27

seen the film, so I don't know anything about what you

31:29

should be wearing. Well, my cousin Bonnie also

31:32

has my sequined jacket, which

31:34

isn't salt burning, but I could just like the

31:37

aura might work. The aura. Do you want my gold earrings?

31:39

No. Okay, good. I don't know my ears here. Oh

31:42

yeah, of course. Do you want some clip-ons? These aren't the buns,

31:44

these are. Sorry, but. You're a real person. Yeah. Anyway,

31:47

all right, well let's go because you've got to

31:49

go check on your outfit. Love

31:51

you very much. And we'll be back on Monday.

31:53

Well, pending Ryan's fucking health-alarm devotee. Be

31:56

back on Monday. Love ya.

31:58

Love ya. Bye. are HEAVY

32:03

ARTIST, I HEAR Trier!