0:00

So let's just go ahead and rip the band-aid off

0:02

here. I'm ending the

0:04

podcast, which I think deserves

0:07

some kind of an explanation. It's been

0:10

seven and a half years, maybe

0:13

slightly more. The

0:15

truth is, the podcast has

0:17

felt like a burden for

0:20

a few years now. And I want to be clear, you

0:23

are not a burden. You, the

0:25

listener, has actually been

0:27

like the second best thing that's ever happened

0:30

to me in my life. The first is getting

0:32

married. That was dope. But you're like

0:34

a really close second. I started

0:36

this podcast when I was 23, and

0:39

it's been my entire adult

0:41

life, since college. But

0:44

the understanding I have of who I am

0:47

as a person has changed dramatically.

0:50

See, back when I first started, I

0:52

was a hustle culture addict.

0:56

I consumed everything. The

0:58

grant cardones, the Gary V's, I was

1:01

in it.

1:02

I was listening to all the motivational videos.

1:05

I was consuming non-stop,

1:08

trying to develop this mindset

1:11

of someone who could make it in this

1:13

world. And some of those things that I was doing

1:15

for myself at the time was working insanely

1:18

hard.

1:19

Like, insanely, insanely hard.

1:22

I was setting clear goals. I was

1:24

trying my best at literally everything

1:26

I was doing. I was really putting in

1:28

effort and time and energy to make it

1:31

something. I was sacrificing sleep,

1:33

like full-on sacrificing sleep,

1:35

four hours a night, all of that. I was

1:38

trying to improve my morning routine

1:40

and waking up at 5 a.m. and doing

1:43

all of the stuff, the cold showers, all of

1:45

it. I was incredibly unhappy

1:48

with my life. And I felt like I needed

1:50

to work myself to the bone

1:52

to create something better. And the interesting

1:54

thing, thinking back on it now, I never once

1:57

felt proud of myself at all. I

1:59

was always so of deferring pride

2:01

and happiness and joy to like

2:04

some weird future achievement

2:06

like oh I'll take a break or I'll

2:09

I'll praise myself or whatever once I've

2:11

done blank and then that goal post

2:13

has always pushed. I've talked about this

2:15

on the show before. Now here's the thing,

2:18

looking back I cannot say with

2:20

good conscience that that doesn't

2:22

work. My life has changed dramatically

2:25

in part because of those things in

2:27

no small part but I've also had

2:30

a lot of realizations in

2:32

the seven almost eight years since. See

2:35

back in 2017 when my dad died it kind

2:38

of like shattered

2:41

my sense of reality and my sense of self. It

2:44

was this like sobering reality

2:46

check that no matter what I

2:48

had done, no matter how successful I was,

2:50

no matter how rich I was at the time, I

2:54

was powerless. There was

2:56

nothing I could have done to change that outcome. But

2:58

it led me to ask a really important question,

3:01

one that I'm so incredibly grateful

3:03

I had the opportunity to ask was

3:05

I going to spend my entire life living

3:08

for someone else? One of the things that

3:10

this journey made me realize both

3:12

hosting the podcast and then having

3:14

this sort of like reality check. Majority

3:17

of things that like could solve the

3:19

very real problems we're dealing with are

3:22

systemic. And there's been a number of things that have

3:25

reinforced that for me over the years.

3:27

For example last year or two

3:29

years ago when they repealed Roe v.

3:31

Wade. I think I made an episode on it

3:34

at the time but it's very difficult

3:37

to tell people that they have

3:39

control over their lives, that they

3:42

are personally responsible for their decisions,

3:45

that they are able to change

3:48

their life and then

3:50

take away a fundamental right that gives

3:52

them that control. That's a systemic problem.

3:55

No amount of personal development is

3:57

going to fix that. So I started to realize

3:59

all of that. these things and out of nowhere my

4:01

goals started to change. I

4:04

started to look at who

4:06

I actually was without

4:10

the ambition, without the drive,

4:12

without the hard work, without the sacrifice.

4:15

Who was I? What is it that I was interested

4:17

in? What made me me?

4:20

I started to ask that question and what

4:22

I came back with was a deep

4:25

hatred for an industry that only

4:28

exists because of your suffering.

4:30

This podcast can only

4:33

work, I can only grow, I can

4:35

only make a lot of money from

4:37

it if you continue

4:39

to suffer and struggle and that's

4:42

just not something I'm happy contributing

4:44

to. And so my first move was to

4:46

try and change the show. If I

4:48

knew that many of our issues were

4:50

systemic, that we needed to focus

4:53

on societal change in order

4:55

to affect our personal lives, then

4:57

I was gonna focus more on politics and I was gonna

4:59

focus more on tackling

5:02

those systemic problems. But I couldn't

5:05

do it, it just made me depressed.

5:08

But you were still here, you were still getting value

5:10

and I wanted to show up for you so I tried changing

5:12

the show again. I tried focusing

5:15

on being kind to yourself, on self-empathy.

5:18

I tried focusing on more interviews with researchers

5:21

and sharing data-driven advice. I tried

5:24

all of it and none of it ever felt

5:26

right. Every single thing I did felt like

5:28

I was just another voice contributing to

5:31

the problem, building a platform

5:34

on the top of your suffering. So for a while

5:36

I just decided, okay after a thousand

5:38

episodes I'm gonna leave. That's

5:40

when I'll do it, I'll just get the next hundred

5:43

or so done and then we'll move

5:45

on. But that led to me phoning it in. I produced

5:48

episodes I knew were not good or

5:51

useful, all for a paycheck. Because this

5:53

was my full-time job at the time and

5:55

I wasn't fortunate enough to walk away from

5:58

the money. So what else could I do? But

6:00

the result of that was actually devastating.

6:02

I started to hate myself. I

6:05

started to dread recording. But

6:07

you are still here. And I wanted to

6:09

do right by you. And one day I asked

6:12

myself a very simple question. Why

6:14

do I care about hitting 1000 episodes?

6:18

And you know what's crazy? I didn't have

6:20

an answer. Because

6:22

I'd said I would. Because it

6:24

would look better. Sure, 1000 episodes

6:27

is a great achievement to work towards. But

6:29

why couldn't I be proud of what I had already

6:31

done? Why did I need to wait until

6:34

episode 1000 to be proud? And

6:37

that's when it hit me. I needed

6:39

to leave now. Because

6:41

this podcast started as a way to

6:43

share personal development advice that actually

6:46

worked. We talked about setting goals. We talked

6:48

about being ambitious. We talked about pushing

6:50

for what you really want in life. And that advice

6:53

was amazing for me back

6:56

when I was 23 and first started

6:58

this show. Because I was working hard out

7:01

of a deep desperate attempt to achieve

7:03

my goals. I was working hard to run

7:05

away from a life that I was not happy with.

7:08

I ignored any sense

7:11

of accomplishment, any sense of pride,

7:13

any sense of joy, and sacrificed

7:15

those things in the present for

7:17

some imaginary future. Because I didn't

7:19

think I deserved it. But I've grown since then.

7:22

And the best advice I can give myself today,

7:24

and the best advice I can give you,

7:27

is to be happy with and proud

7:29

of who you already are and

7:31

what you're already doing. Rather

7:34

than obsessing over who you're

7:36

trying to become and what you want

7:38

to do. There's nothing wrong with working towards

7:40

something you want, but you can also be

7:42

happy today right

7:45

now. That's the only thing you have actual

7:47

control over. I'm really, really

7:50

proud of the work I did on this show. I

7:52

really am. And I

7:54

hope it will be a body of work

7:57

that others can find and experience

7:59

for years. to come but my

8:02

time here is over. If you'd like

8:04

to stay in touch, I'm going to be making content

8:07

and sharing my life over on Instagram

8:09

and TikTok. My

8:12

username is at Greg Clunis on both

8:14

of those, G-R-E-G-G-C-L-U-N-I-S.

8:18

The links are also in the description of this

8:20

episode. I would love to hear

8:23

from you at any point, anything

8:25

you're willing to share. I would really, really love to

8:27

hear from you. But until the next time I see

8:29

you or talk to you, whenever that

8:31

might be, my name is Greg Clunis.

8:34

And remember that

8:36

all big changes come from

8:39

the tiny leaps you take every

8:43

day.

8:45

Thank you.