0:02

Don't you just love this time of year? Break

0:05

out the cozy PJs next to

0:07

a nice hot fi-

0:08

Tim's Maple Cinnamon Sugar Latte? I

0:10

was gonna say fireplace. And

0:13

the pumpkin pick- Pumpkin Spice Iced Cab?

0:15

Um, sure. There's nothing

0:18

like the fall le- Tim Horton's Refreshers? Okay,

0:21

I get it. Let's go to Tim's. Hot,

0:25

cold, refreshing, sweet. Whatever

0:28

you're in the mood for, Tim Horton's Fall

0:30

Menu has it all.

0:32

In the hushed corridors of the Tallahassee

0:34

Police Department on a fateful March

0:36

afternoon in 2010, Connor

0:39

McBride, a then-lanky

0:41

19-year-old with sandy hair, walked

0:44

into the station looking distraught.

0:46

In a tense exchange with the officer on

0:48

duty, he confessed to an unthinkable

0:51

act. He had killed his fiancée,

0:53

Anne Margaret Grosmeier. The

0:55

shocking confession set in motion a remarkable

0:58

sequence of events that would challenge the perception

1:01

of justice and redemption, leaving

1:03

many wondering if it is possible for

1:05

forgiveness to transcend even the darkest

1:08

of deeds, or if the self-admitted

1:10

murderer has manipulated those around

1:12

him into believing that he deserves to

1:15

be forgiven.

1:16

This is Monsters.

1:25

INTRO

1:41

Anne Margaret Grosmeier was a lively

1:43

and vibrant child, but her early

1:45

years were shadowed by the experience of

1:47

wearing an eye patch to correct a lazy

1:49

eye, a testament to her resilience even

1:52

in her formative days. As she

1:54

got older, her fascination with animals

1:57

blossomed, from her cherished guinea

1:59

pigs affection she had for her horse,

2:01

her love of animals gave way to a dream

2:04

she had to one day have an animal rehabilitation

2:06

center.

2:07

During her high school years at Leon

2:09

High School, Ann's passion for theater

2:12

took center stage.

2:13

Her involvement extended beyond acting

2:16

and she would enthusiastically participate

2:18

in the technical aspects of the theater including

2:20

directing or serving on the tech crew. It

2:23

would be there during her sophomore year of high

2:25

school that Ann would first meet Connor McBride,

2:28

igniting a relationship that would alter the

2:30

course of their lives forever. Still

2:33

teenagers, their relationship was

2:35

marked by the typical drama that comes along

2:37

with one's first love. They were

2:39

devoted to each other but there was also a

2:41

dependence that bordered on obsession.

2:44

By their senior year, they were spending

2:46

so much time together that Connor would end

2:48

up being fired from his job for not

2:50

showing up. After graduation,

2:53

both Ann and Connor continued their education

2:56

at Tallahassee Community College poised

2:58

to take on the world together. Ann's

3:01

family welcomed Connor into their lives like

3:03

he was one of their own. He was selected

3:05

for a youth leadership program through the Tallahassee

3:08

Chamber of Commerce and was a top student

3:10

during their high school years. By

3:12

all outward appearances, Connor

3:14

seemed like an intelligent young man with a good

3:16

head on his shoulders and their relationship

3:19

seemed to be flourishing but underneath the surface

3:22

lay a tumultuous undercurrent of volatile

3:24

behavior. The reality was

3:26

that Connor was prone to bursts of irrational

3:29

rage and the young couple would spend most of

3:31

their time arguing with one another. Their

3:34

parents noted that there seemed to be wild mood

3:36

swings and that while they were good kids,

3:38

they were not good together. Investigators

3:41

would later discover evidence of Connor's abuse

3:43

towards Ann during their relationship. Ann

3:46

had written up what she called the list

3:48

for Connor as a way to help him correct

3:51

some of his behaviors. Some

3:53

of the things on the list included no aggressive

3:56

cursing, no negative comments

3:58

on physical appearance, comments, no negative

4:01

comments on relationship, no

4:03

falling asleep on the phone while talking

4:05

to me, and no running away from our

4:08

problems.

4:09

Under the heading, Never Again,

4:11

she listed, Physically harm me,

4:14

look at porn, cheat, try

4:16

ending us due to anger, yell

4:19

at me, and keep me in the dark.

4:21

Connor and Ann's interactions bore the

4:23

hallmarks of a distressing cycle often

4:26

seen in cases of domestic violence

4:28

which involved initial mistreatment, followed

4:30

by apologies that temporarily soothe

4:33

only for the cycle to repeat with escalating

4:35

abuse. Behind closed doors,

4:38

Connor had hit Ann several times

4:40

and was emotionally abusive, often

4:42

exploding and yelling in anger. Ultimately,

4:45

the culmination of their tumultuous

4:47

relationship would result in a devastating

4:50

and tragic outcome.

4:51

What kind of comments were you having? Umm,

4:55

really just me, like she felt

4:59

that I didn't love

5:01

her, she felt that I didn't

5:03

put enough, that

5:05

I didn't show her enough that I wasn't like

5:09

committed, not committed enough so

5:13

I wasn't there enough, I didn't care

5:16

enough. Which I

5:18

mean to some degree, yeah, I lost

5:20

that spark

5:22

that we used to have.

5:26

It was a typical Friday night for the couple

5:28

when they found themselves caught in yet another

5:30

argument. Connor was exhausted

5:33

and had homework and things to do the next day,

5:35

so he wanted to drive home and go to bed

5:37

early. The recurring issue of

5:39

differing schedules had become a serious

5:41

source of contention between the young couple.

5:44

Ann, a self-proclaimed night owl,

5:46

clashed with Connor's preference for an early

5:49

night. Amid the argument, Connor

5:51

promised to return the next morning and prepare

5:54

breakfast, but when he overslept,

5:56

the fight continued. Their disagreement

5:58

spilled over to the next day. Next day, attention

6:01

amplified by exchanges over text

6:03

and phone. Seeking some form

6:05

of reconciliation, the couple planned

6:08

a picnic for that evening. Anne,

6:10

excited over a good grade she had received

6:13

that day, had brought champagne glasses

6:15

and San Pellegrino limonada to celebrate.

6:18

During their picnic, Connor forgot about

6:20

the good grade, leaving Anne disappointed.

6:23

That was a turning point and before they knew

6:25

it, the couple was back to square one.

6:28

As the sun set, they headed back to

6:30

Connor's parents' house. In the

6:32

midst of a conversation, Connor unexpectedly

6:35

fell asleep. On Sunday,

6:37

the next morning, the tension between Anne

6:39

and Connor rekindled and the fight was

6:42

picked up where it left off. The

6:44

heated exchange lasted hours before

6:46

it reached a critical juncture and Anne made

6:48

the decision to leave. She packed

6:50

her belongings and headed towards the door, leaving

6:53

Connor in a state of confusion and desperation.

6:56

Anne had left her water bottle behind and Connor

6:58

took it outside to give it back to her, following

7:01

her into the driveway. Anne

7:03

was sitting in her car crying. She

7:05

said to him, quote, You don't love me,

7:08

you don't care. Connor, exasperated

7:11

by their two days of fighting, asked Anne

7:13

what she wanted. Her reply, quote,

7:15

I just want you to die. Back

7:18

inside the house, Connor's emotions

7:20

surged. A turbulent blend of

7:22

frustration, helplessness, and anger,

7:25

he grappled with conflicting feelings

7:27

torn between his love for Anne and the

7:29

overwhelming weight of their arguments. Connor

7:32

went into his father's closet, pulled

7:34

a shotgun down from a shelf, unlocked

7:37

it, and walked into another room for ammunition

7:39

before loading the weapon. He sat

7:41

down in the living room and put the gun under

7:44

his chin, his finger on the trigger.

7:46

The torment of the situation seemed

7:48

insurmountable, as he contemplated

7:51

between wanting to end his own life and the knowledge

7:53

that such an action might push Anne towards

7:55

a similar fate. His spiraling

7:58

thoughts came to an abrupt end when Anne began

8:00

banging on the door. Connor put

8:02

the gun on the table and let Anne inside

8:04

where they went to a back room of the house to

8:06

talk. Connor said in a later interrogation

8:09

that Anne had a blanket wrapped around her

8:11

leg and asked for some gauze, so

8:14

he thought she may have cut herself, but he wasn't

8:16

sure if she actually had as he never saw

8:18

any blood. He finally got her some

8:21

toilet paper and medical tape. Several

8:24

minutes later, Connor left to get her a drink

8:26

and when he returned, Anne was lying on the

8:28

couch in distress. Fed up

8:30

with fighting, he began screaming at

8:32

her. Anne began sobbing, saying

8:34

that she just wanted to die. He

8:37

later admitted to entering a state of wrathful

8:40

anger, a state that clouded his judgment.

8:43

Connor left the room to get the gun. Anne

8:45

began following him, but she must have tripped

8:47

because when Connor returned, he found her

8:50

on her knees. He pointed the gun

8:52

at her in an attempt to scare or snap

8:54

her out of it. Anne's last words

8:56

were, quote, no don't. She

8:59

held out a hand protectively before Connor

9:01

pulled the trigger. I lost

9:04

it. I

9:06

was angry and upset and

9:08

I shot her.

9:10

Leading

9:13

up to

9:16

that, I don't know if she was faking it or

9:18

if she actually did. She implied

9:20

that she cut the main artery in her

9:23

leg because she wanted to die.

9:25

If I wasn't going to be with her, then there

9:28

was no point.

9:31

I kept telling

9:33

her I wanted to break up, I don't want to see her

9:36

dead. I don't want her to die. I

9:38

don't want her to kill herself.

9:40

So if you didn't want her to die,

9:43

how did shooting her with a shotgun figure

9:45

into that plan? I mean, I'm no

9:47

medical expert, but I do know that

9:50

shotgun blasts at close range

9:52

aren't the best way to keep someone from not

9:54

dying. Just saying.

9:57

And

10:00

I got her phone and I texted out

10:03

a text to her father that's like, Help,

10:06

I'm at Connor's parents'

10:08

house, he has a gun. At

10:11

least that way, cuz my parents

10:13

are out of town, so they wouldn't come back a week later

10:16

and find me. So

10:18

I was gonna tell her dad, and then I

10:21

didn't, I couldn't send it. I didn't wanna kill

10:24

myself.

10:26

Although, now I do. And

10:34

then I just, I drove around

10:37

for like 30 minutes.

10:40

That same day, on March 28th, 2010, at about 2.15 in the afternoon,

10:45

Connor walked into the police department

10:48

and told the officer, quote, You need to

10:50

arrest me, I just shot my fiancé

10:52

in the head. Connor was taken to an office

10:55

where he began to weep. Connor had

10:57

left Anne back at the house believing wholeheartedly

11:00

that she was already dead. By the

11:02

time the police arrived at the scene, they

11:04

found Anne was still alive but unresponsive.

11:07

That night, in the dimly lit intensive

11:10

care unit of Tallahassee Memorial

11:12

Hospital, the sombre rhythm

11:14

of the ventilator provided the backup

11:16

to an agonizing scene. Anne's

11:18

father, Andy Grossmaier, stood

11:20

vigil beside his daughter's bed. Anne

11:23

was covered in bandages connected to

11:25

tubes as she lay unconscious. The

11:28

Grossmaiers were devout Catholics and

11:30

clung to hope, praying fervently for

11:32

divine intervention. According

11:34

to Andy, it was among the sterile surroundings

11:37

and unrelenting beep of machines that

11:39

he felt an unexpected presence. Anne's

11:42

voice asking them to forgive Connor.

11:45

It would be difficult to do as just days

11:47

after Connor shot her, and would be

11:49

taken off life support and pass away in

11:51

the hospital surrounded by family. In

11:54

the wake of that poignant moment in the hospital

11:56

room, the Grossmaier family found themselves

11:59

confronted with a train. transformative choice

12:01

that would reshape their understanding of justice,

12:04

forgiveness, and the healing power of

12:06

compassion. While the idea

12:08

of forgiving the one who had caused their daughter's

12:10

suffering seemed insurmountable, it was

12:13

a seed that took root. Driven

12:15

by their Catholic faith, they began to grapple

12:17

with the concept of forgiveness in its

12:19

most challenging form, forgiving

12:22

the man who had taken their daughter's life. The

12:24

Grossmaers took on the deep commitment of forgiving

12:27

Connor and ensuring that he understood the impact

12:30

of his actions and the depth of their plan.

12:33

Through open dialogue facilitated

12:35

by professionals, they sought after

12:37

a process of healing for all involved.

12:40

Remarkably, they took a pivotal step

12:42

towards embracing restorative justice.

12:45

Restorative justice is a transformative approach

12:48

to dealing with crime that shifts focus

12:50

from punitive measures to healing and

12:52

repairing the harm caused. It seeks

12:54

to address the needs of all parties involved.

12:58

At the restorative justice meeting with

13:00

the families and prosecutors, when

13:02

it was time to own up to what he did, Connor

13:04

was brutally honest, even in the face

13:07

of the grieving parents. He told

13:09

them everything that happened that night, how

13:11

after he shot Anne, he drove around in

13:13

a daze until he decided to turn himself

13:16

in. Anne's

13:17

father gave his suggestion 10

13:19

to 15 years.

13:22

When all was said and done, Connor was

13:24

sentenced to 20 years in prison with 10

13:26

years of probation. During

13:28

his time in prison, Connor's path towards

13:31

rehabilitation has taken shape through a

13:33

series of intentional steps and commitments.

13:36

Despite the bleakness of his situation,

13:38

he has demonstrated a determination

13:40

to reshape his life. Within

13:42

the confines of the prison walls, Connor

13:45

immersed himself in the pages of novels

13:47

and voluntarily enrolled in anger management

13:50

classes. He has plans to

13:52

volunteer in animal shelters upon

13:54

his release, knowing that it was a cause

13:56

that Anne was deeply passionate about. journey

14:00

toward redemption, Connor accepted

14:02

the responsibility of speaking to local

14:04

groups about teen dating violence.

14:07

Anne's vibrant life was abruptly overshadowed

14:10

by a tragic turn of events, a

14:12

chilling reminder of the dangers of domestic

14:14

violence. Connor, the other

14:17

central figure to this tragedy, took

14:19

an unexpected path of transformation

14:21

during his time in prison, engaging

14:23

in prison programs, aspiring

14:26

to honor Anne's memory through volunteering

14:28

and committing to spread awareness. For

14:30

some, the Grosmere's choice to forgive

14:33

Connor has raised concerns that this would

14:35

imply acceptance of heinous actions.

14:37

But Anne's family believe that Connor can

14:39

transform his life for the better and that

14:42

forgiveness is the best way to move on with

14:44

their lives and what they believe Anne would have

14:46

wanted. This show talks about

14:48

monsters, many of whom get released

14:51

from prison and go on to kill again.

14:53

Is it possible that this monster can

14:56

actually change and become a better person?

14:59

Only time will tell.

15:01

If you're the victim of domestic abuse, please

15:03

reach out to someone for help. Please talk

15:05

to your local shelter or call the National

15:07

Domestic Abuse Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE. That's

15:11

1-800-799-7233. Or

15:15

you can go to thehotline.org to chat

15:17

with someone online. This website

15:19

is set up so that, at any time, hitting

15:21

the escape key twice will take you to a Google

15:23

search page. That way, if your abuser

15:26

is nearby, you won't get caught seeking help.

15:28

If you're having feelings of harming yourself or someone

15:31

else, or even just need someone to talk to, please

15:33

contact your local mental health facility, call 911,

15:36

or call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline

15:39

by simply dialing 988 in the United States. They're

15:42

available 24 hours a day, 7 days

15:44

a week, and will talk to you about any mental health

15:46

issue you may be facing.

15:48

If you are a member of the LGBTQ

15:50

community and suffering from discrimination,

15:53

depression, or are in need of any support,

15:55

please contact the LGBT National

15:57

Hotline at 1-888-842-7233.

15:59

34564 or go to lgbthotline.org.

16:05

Thanks so much for letting me tell you this story.

16:07

If you enjoyed it, subscribe on whatever platform

16:09

you're on, hit like, rate us, or leave

16:11

us a comment. You can check out our other shows

16:14

Somewhere Sinister on YouTube or anywhere you

16:16

listen to podcasts. If you'd like to support

16:18

the show, check out our merchandise at thisismonsters.com.

16:21

The link is in the description.

16:23

Thanks again and be safe.