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1:03

What? Is the to say before this losses

1:06

I'm. This.

1:08

Was and will always be. I think one of

1:10

the greatest nights with my life. The

1:13

combination of a year of.

1:16

Hard work the no one asked for. A.

1:21

It's this felt like and

1:24

I think that achieve things.

1:26

Small. Things in my created this

1:29

point but this was this was the

1:31

most overwhelmed I've ever felt. I'm. At

1:33

this point. Are. Realizing she,

1:35

I was quite overawed by. Having

1:39

a live audience for americans of

1:41

a soda, this beautiful theater. And

1:44

are in bottom. Really? Rising

1:46

the occasion in my memory was not faulty,

1:48

term is so funny and this episode. And.

1:50

I'm also the and I'm I'm bumping and on.

1:52

but I'm. Yeah,

1:55

this is. I'm. Just

1:57

have had such a wonderful time revisiting

1:59

all of us I never thought out.

2:03

And. Basically apple all I am

2:05

now in the wife. Of. What

2:07

we've all been waiting for: The.

2:10

End. Of

2:32

And welcome to the Were. In

2:37

a matter of okay my name is said

2:40

that my name is going on domain and

2:42

waves as was gonna say for the fifth

2:44

in time. We

2:50

got our laws against heard that

2:52

plays out your phone. ah for

2:55

those you joining us on the

2:57

incentives are we com and you

2:59

live from a real have we

3:01

here in Los Angeles, California versus

3:03

the set of family unfair. As

3:08

a pleasure to be with you tonight. My

3:10

name is Timothy and this is my friend

3:12

Mister Montgomery. Yes, and we will not be

3:14

speaking like this very long at all. However,

3:16

even others down while long as regards only

3:18

one timothy unfair to finish with are right

3:20

about now. I've got a fair enough Ah,

3:22

So this is probably a good time to

3:24

tell you at the end of the bug

3:26

cast their ah. Yes, right?

3:29

everybody? Were. From Sony

3:31

Patches Marketing and published

3:33

today. Our

3:36

behalf of all. On

3:38

behalf of us who started. Much as I'd

3:40

like to say, gotcha. Wasn't

3:44

as as thick and thin and a

3:46

relates of gonna say we're going to

3:48

be rolling it out through the entire

3:50

world. Why do you think there are

3:52

cameras were filming his sons of bitches

3:54

arrive and or it's historians and you

3:56

like what we've got. Were working on

3:59

a second data. The wanted it, they

4:01

would have been explored. And which ones

4:03

last? Edmunds Out Barrels. As.

4:09

Well, we have. Bills is potentially the

4:11

funny god damn movie of all. Imo.

4:14

the words related for thinking right

4:16

because the Nazism Iran Wakefield. Thirty

4:18

seven people in the world and

4:20

edges of America return joke about

4:22

that on on on camera him.

4:24

but not a lot. Not Ahmadinejad.

4:26

virtually never go through the mana.

4:28

Yeah, that's right, did you. Thirty

4:30

seven bodies? The difficult to hide

4:32

of Delhi? That the interesting thing

4:34

about Thirty seven. they booed on

4:36

his. And I don't. What is

4:39

borderline to sing a bomb? Pretty sure it's a

4:41

prime number. Know

4:45

of courage to do so. I figure on to some

4:47

them. Best

4:49

the largest prime number. Mass

4:51

killing and cinema has run.

4:55

Says the power of grown Ups

4:57

Two yeah a lot of We

4:59

will said you couldn't talk to

5:01

give what is yours has arrived.

5:03

Lesson. For listening.

5:05

Ah. As Guy

5:07

and I speaking to you as

5:10

Cambodia of good the radio sprint

5:12

of with the so in in

5:15

of Ego Monte Best Thailand Excited

5:17

to be welcomed with a bullet.

5:19

The Good: That heavier than number

5:22

One Eight hundred worst idea of

5:24

old Times Effects One nine hundred

5:26

worst idea of all time Low

5:29

Email Where's the ads? That

5:31

idea. Of all

5:33

time.aol. Dot

5:36

I O L.podcast Have you guys

5:38

want seconds to see big? These

5:40

men not run as this way?

5:43

Daves your shit outta like when

5:45

our daily what area speedwagon in

5:47

your lounge? It's up for grabs.com

5:50

is our website. Ah. we're

5:54

done a lot of fucking around but the simple

5:56

truth as mods the we saw him that it

5:58

died One

6:01

year of burnout soon. Thank

6:04

you. I couldn't be more delighted to see

6:06

the arse end of this film. I'm

6:09

like, there's a real genuine

6:11

chemical feeling of elation floating around

6:13

my brain right now that I

6:15

am struggling to articulate in a

6:17

human language. What you are feeling

6:19

is the weight of... Can I

6:21

try Spanish? Muy

6:24

bueno. Muy

6:26

bueno. Very

6:28

good. It's sort of

6:30

an abridged version of how

6:32

I was going to describe your feeling. But what it

6:34

does really boil down to at this point, and I

6:36

can speak from experience to him, is muy bueno. Which

6:40

for the unfamiliar in the audience is Spanish for...

6:42

is okay, I think. You're

6:46

so good at languages, Monty. Do

6:49

you know what I'm going to do? Dive right

6:51

in. Oh, I need to keep track of how long

6:53

we're talking as well. He doesn't

6:55

need to keep track. It really doesn't matter. He just

6:57

wants you to know that. I've

6:59

got a watch that's got all the buttons on it.

7:02

It's got a calculator into it and shit, but

7:04

I'm just not quite used to it yet. Did

7:06

you buy that in the past? Like really far

7:08

back in the past? Oh,

7:12

who'll be like... Oh wait, there's the calculator bit.

7:14

Stop. Ah, it's cool. It's easy to use too,

7:16

right? It's

7:20

just like a real basic layout. It's

7:23

so easy. The f So

7:28

the first thing we've got to address is all

7:30

of the things we've got to address. And

7:33

the first one I want to take is... I

7:35

think it's a great time to start is right now, Tim. Wow.

7:38

I want to kick off with Shining Light. I

7:40

think it's a great time to start the podcast. So...

7:45

Do you want me to take the lead on this one? I don't

7:47

want to talk about it. Okay. My

7:51

Shining Light for the 52nd

7:53

viewing consists of four words. Whoa!

7:57

Chris, rock, cargo.

8:00

pants. I never

8:02

noticed that before but that

8:04

dude is rocking straight up. There's a

8:06

camel coloured cargo pants full length. They're

8:08

not three quarters, they're not zip offs.

8:10

They are the real fucking deal. The

8:12

guy is doing a reasonably industrial job.

8:14

He's got to stay practical. He's got

8:16

to hold things. He's got to hold

8:18

different things in different pockets. And there's

8:20

one cargo. What if he provides more

8:22

options than a pair of cargo pants?

8:24

Fucking nothing. Legitimately. Cargo pants are, if

8:26

you've got things you've got to carry

8:29

and for some reason it's got to

8:31

be in your pants and not in

8:33

your hand, cargos are your number

8:35

one choice. In fact I feel

8:37

like as good as Chris Rock as it's

8:39

stand up and acting, which we didn't really

8:41

see on display in the movie but I've

8:44

seen in others, I feel

8:47

like if we had Chris Rock cargo

8:49

pants, not only is

8:51

it a great hashtag but I feel like

8:53

it's an even better company, I would buy those

8:55

pants. Those are trousers I'm shelling

8:57

out for. Unless you trademark this tomorrow Tim,

9:00

you've just given away a million dollars so

9:02

congratulations. I do it all the time. There's

9:04

no off position to the genius switch. You

9:06

know the big sales pitch

9:10

on the cargo pants is how many hands do

9:12

you have Tim? Look, I'm

9:14

just a man. I have

9:17

but those hands. That's right. Alright. So

9:19

imagine if hands were pockets, right? And

9:21

a regular pair of pants, how many

9:23

hands do they have? Wait,

9:25

you've already lost me. Two? Correct.

9:29

Two. Imagine if your

9:31

pants had four hands.

9:35

What? You're now buying cargo

9:37

pants for me. Congratulations. No, hold on. What are you

9:41

saying? Hey, what? My pants? I'm just, look.

9:43

Stage pocket is two hands. Let's not drill

9:45

into it. It's not a strong argument. That's

9:47

a half a dozen hands. It's

9:50

pretty good. Like what I'm saying

9:52

is if pockets were hands. Yes. Cargo

9:56

pants have four hands. Or

9:59

more. Two

10:02

back pockets, six hands. Oh no, there's two

10:05

back pockets. I'm wearing jeans right

10:07

now, okay? That's

10:09

one hand. Correct. That's

10:11

one hand. So we've got two already. Yeah. We're

10:14

dealing with another one down there and you

10:16

know that shit's deep and fat. You're explaining

10:18

something I'm going to do. Yeah, that's a

10:20

bigger hand. So we've got two, three, four,

10:22

times two is eight, plus

10:24

two is ten. You're dealing with ten hands

10:27

on a human. Okay. That's

10:29

a lot of shit going on. That is

10:32

a mighty big human. Did you have a

10:34

shining light on this watch guy? I'm

10:37

pretty sure I told you to remind me of

10:39

several. What

10:41

did I tell you Tim? Before

10:45

I bring that up, let

10:48

me tell you about the time when I was in

10:50

Stewart Island. No. I'm

10:53

trying to help you out dude. No, no, no,

10:55

no. I'm trying to buy you time. I'm trying

10:57

to buy you time to buy me time. No

11:00

one's buying... What's your responsibility to remember your shining

11:02

lights on the last fucking episode dude? Okay.

11:05

Step up to the plate bro. Shining lights. You're

11:07

in the movie. The movie

11:10

looks really good on a big screen. I'll

11:13

give it a... I feel

11:15

like maybe we've

11:17

got it wrong the whole time. No, no, no. No,

11:21

no, no, no, no. I

11:24

can't possibly... Maybe. No.

11:27

Maybe we've horribly misread the situation. I can't

11:29

agree with that. No, no, no sir. No

11:31

sir. Over the last... Sir, I say no.

11:34

Sir. I say to you sir. There

11:36

is something very forgiving about being in a

11:38

theatre particularly with the amount of very large

11:40

physical gags that this movie presents and I

11:43

recognise that. Hey, guess what you piece of

11:45

shit. You laughed at the bit where they

11:47

all jumped off suicide 35 off the top

11:49

rock 35 feet above the water my mum

11:52

did that job. My mum told me that

11:54

drunk when she was pregnant with me. You

11:57

laughed at that. For growing.

11:59

The comedic men jumping off a cliff

12:01

into water, entering themselves significantly, predominantly in the

12:03

genitalia. You guys loved it. And we loved

12:06

it too, the first time we saw it.

12:09

Yeah, I was going to stick up with

12:11

them. I think that's pretty funny, almost the

12:13

whole way through. It's a good physical gag.

12:15

It's funny, watching it with this many people,

12:17

yeah. There are some jokes that you hear

12:20

and you've got weighted expectations on them. I

12:22

was relieved to hear people laughing at the

12:25

Suicide 35 stuff. There

12:27

were some interesting points for you guys. Do

12:29

you know what? This is tuned into a magnifying glass

12:31

on you. You saw it and it

12:34

was going to be a Q&A against Kevin Monahan.

12:36

You guys are fucking weird, man. Guess

12:38

what, L.A.? We came here to fuck

12:41

your shit up. You

12:43

guys got some problems. We'd

12:45

like to talk about them. Here's one.

12:47

I had to get

12:50

some quarters today to do my laundry. I

12:52

had to go to a goddamn bank. What is

12:55

up with your racial segregation, L.A.? I had to

12:57

get too real with you on the last episode.

13:00

It was a pretty real situation. A bank of

13:03

America. This is pretty real. Firstly, I almost threw

13:05

up because of how hungover I was. And

13:08

that's semi-relevant to the point by which I may not

13:10

at all. We

13:14

should probably move forward from this anecdote. I don't think

13:17

it relates to the movie. You've got a reading room,

13:19

Tim, and I've always said that about you. You've

13:21

got a real sense for how

13:24

everyone's doing. That's you. Here's Tim in a

13:26

room. Yeah, I can feel that. It's

13:29

a real room. It's full of real

13:31

people. Well, I mean...

13:34

This is different for us. You've got to be aware

13:36

of that. The weird thing is that somewhere in

13:38

the distance, I can hear a... There's

13:41

a lot of gears. It's like a small

13:44

truck or a bus or something.

13:47

Nope, you can't hear that. I can

13:49

hear it. No, hold on. Everyone shut up

13:52

for a second. Shut up,

13:54

guy. B

14:03

Question Oh

14:26

you son of a bitch Timbatt. I

14:31

did not see you driving that bus. I'm

14:34

in the front seat man. Ok

14:37

here we go, here it is, here we're at. I'm

14:39

going to pass it over to you. Ok

14:41

so this is where we're at. We're

14:44

at the driver's test as you all saw. I

14:46

mean how many of you have seen a driver, this

14:49

scene before in the movie? How many of you know

14:51

what we're talking about? Make some noise? Who

14:55

just found out what it looks like when Steve Buscemi

14:57

explains what's wrong with him, make some noise? That's

15:02

high enough. Well I'm not wasting time. I'm

15:04

just excited for these people. Where

15:06

for your audience Montgomery? I'm

15:08

working my tail off over here. Doesn't

15:11

look like much but I'm not hearing it. I'm sweating

15:13

jokes up here alright. I'm

15:15

hemorrhaging jokes. Let's go. I'm

15:18

losing a lot of jokes up here. I have a hair to single one.

15:20

Make me laugh funny man. Make me laugh.

15:24

This is twice as terrifying

15:26

as before. Because

15:28

we were together. You've got no

15:30

allies anymore you're all alone. On

15:33

the battlefield of grown ups too. There

15:36

he was. 2015,

15:38

a lone Kiwi lad brought up

15:41

in the South Island and suddenly

15:43

thrust into an environment he's not

15:45

equipped or experienced in. He's

15:47

in Hollywood folks. He's in Los

15:50

Angeles, California. Not only

15:52

is the weather throwing him off because apparently

15:54

it's winter but fucking tell the weather

15:56

that. It's like 30 goddamn

15:58

degrees here. But

16:01

everything he thought was true about

16:03

this country is false. The

16:05

people are lovely and genuine, the

16:07

air is breathable and the water

16:09

very absorbable. Guy

16:12

Montgomery struggling for a thread

16:14

to grab onto in

16:17

front of a theatre of 170 of his

16:21

nearest and dearest, trying

16:24

to figure out the

16:27

Steve Booth singing mystery tour.

16:30

Why if my name isn't Julia

16:33

Andrews? I'll

16:35

be damned. So,

16:40

there I was. Los

16:44

Angeles, California, everything on

16:46

the line. No,

16:49

I don't know seriousness, and the reason I'm so

16:51

nervous about this is this is the last Steve

16:53

Booth singing mystery tour, aka the last roll of

16:55

the dice. Make it a good day. That

16:58

was pretty much our last

17:00

gosh-diddly-darn opportunity to grab onto something and say

17:02

this is exactly what happened to Steve Booth

17:04

singing before the curtain is pulled back and

17:06

we find out what caused this freaky motherfucking

17:09

injury. I'm hearing a lot of pattings and

17:11

I'm hearing a lot of pronouns as us

17:13

and I'd like to remind you, you are

17:15

alone on this stage right now. So,

17:19

let's make it happen, mind you. A big fan

17:21

of collective pronouns. Bring it together. A little non-fact.

17:23

Here we go. Steve Booth singing mystery

17:25

tour. Take. Take.

17:28

Well, it's not 50-tokens. We're still halfway

17:30

through the podcast. Steve Booth singing works

17:33

at a trampoline store. Secondhand

17:36

trampoline store is peddling pretty

17:38

dodgy trampolines, okay? Some

17:41

of them are just pattings at the end. Some of them

17:43

are missing pattings on the side. It's not

17:45

important. What's important is just open up

17:47

next door is the Walmart of trampoline

17:49

stores, aka Mr Walls. Mr

17:52

Walls deals exclusively in trampolines which have

17:54

those safety walls around them. Nice. Guess

17:58

what? not so good for

18:01

business over at Mr. Busimi's house. Hold on for

18:03

a second. What?

18:08

Well, that's not so good for business over at

18:10

old Busimi's house. That's right, head. Yeah. I

18:14

told you. Just

18:17

before. Pretty

18:20

much what's happened here is C. Busimi's

18:22

involved in a last gasp, absolutely desperate

18:24

sales pitch to a wealthy family who

18:27

have just moved into the neighborhood. Okay,

18:29

we've got a lot happening so far.

18:31

I think I'm there. Are you with

18:33

me? Because you are

18:35

with a lot of me and if you can't keep up with

18:37

the details, I don't know

18:39

what to do. C. Busimi's got a

18:41

trampoline company, but specifically the kind that

18:44

has the... Secondhand trampolines in it. Oh,

18:46

secondhand. Okay, right. Okay, don't

18:48

worry. You'll catch up. Listen back. Cat it up. Here

18:50

we go. So pretty much

18:52

what's happened is C. Busimi's house has

18:54

gone into foreclosure. The whole business is

18:56

shutting down. He can sell this one

18:59

trampoline. Like

19:02

one specific trampoline or a model

19:04

of trampoline? He's just got to

19:06

sell a trampoline. Like the ultimate...

19:08

He's old Gil. Yeah, old

19:10

Gil. C. Busimi is

19:12

played by old Gil. That's

19:15

a Simpsons reference. Go fuck yourself, Los

19:17

Angeles. That was very funny. Please

19:21

continue. Oh, boy. If

19:24

I don't sell this trampoline, I guess

19:26

I'm going to lose my children. It's

19:28

not very good old Gil. It's

19:31

in the ballpark. So

19:33

anyway, pretty much what happens is C. Busimi gets so involved in

19:35

the sales pitch, he climbs aboard, the trampoline

19:37

starts bouncing around saying, hey, look what I can do.

19:41

He does a sit jump into a

19:43

front flop, into a back flop under his

19:45

feet. The family say,

19:47

that's not bad. C. Busimi says, you ain't seen

19:50

nothing yet. He clicks into the... The

19:52

whole A.B. to put up and blows up and...

19:55

Baby, you just ain't seen

19:57

nothing yet. That's what

19:59

I was hoping this was... going it

20:01

was a very effective marketing call okay

20:04

I love that he was pulling out

20:06

all the love it thing and edit

20:08

yeah John love it walks

20:10

in Stevie semi has a panic attack

20:12

tries to drill back flip absolutely lands

20:15

in between two of the springs on

20:17

the outer rim without a pad she's

20:19

head between them he rocks backwards in

20:21

his in his grave I suppose we're

20:24

talking about Chris Rock no Chris rocks

20:26

not involved Oh Wiley he's having a

20:28

spa which talking about why yeah yeah

20:31

see me see me heads in between two

20:33

springs he breaks his back yeah his arms

20:35

are sort of thrust into a position they're

20:37

forced into by what is essentially rigor

20:40

mortis he's later revived by hold

20:42

on reviving machines okay don't

20:46

you give me plausibility problems I'm nearly

20:48

finished you're doing really

20:50

well I'm finished

20:55

that's pretty good I'm

20:57

very happy that that's the last one that was

20:59

really good I'm proud of you man I've got

21:01

a good feeling about it I'm really proud of

21:03

you say hello

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22:48

HelloFresh. Stop

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dreaming of all the delicious possibilities

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and dig in at hellofresh.com. Let's

22:57

get this dinner party started. Do

23:04

you want to talk? Not

23:06

really. I Question one and

23:08

your starter for a perfect ten was

23:10

this. How many different colors are

23:13

on the national flag of Greece? And

23:15

the answer is there are two colors and they

23:17

are blue and red. I'm

23:20

not talking. Shh. Just

23:23

shut up for a second. Let

23:26

me do this. I'm

23:28

going to try now. Why

23:32

would I talk? What the ent ocean Glenn? Is this what they

23:34

say? So are you

23:36

writing probably Mick or Willie?

23:55

It's a pretty short writing time. It's pretty

23:58

short. It's pretty short. It's pretty short. …for

24:00

the honourable, demogus evidence, land of the

24:02

pay of your heart, we put our

24:04

own self, and you deserve to

24:07

buy him pictures of our face on a stack!

24:11

Okay, alright. So

24:15

here's the fucked up thing that

24:17

we haven't talked about on the

24:19

podcast yet. Here's

24:21

the real life portion of the

24:23

party shorts party time. We got

24:25

immediately before we came here to

24:27

the venue tattoos of

24:29

Patrick Schwarzenegger's face, not

24:32

how it is now, but how it

24:34

is in the movie, in the central

24:36

form, accompanied by a Latin

24:38

interpretation of Ario Speedwagon's lyrics for

24:40

Love Every Moment. And Love Every

24:42

Day. Now that sounds kind of

24:44

insane when you lay it out like that all at once,

24:48

but in my mind it makes perfect sense.

24:50

It sounds weird when you add to someone

24:52

at breakfast. That's

24:54

when it sounds most weird. Hey,

24:58

good morning. Hey, a

25:01

good day to you. Buenos días. So

25:04

you're eating some muesli there, how's that? Muy

25:07

bueno. Are

25:09

you Spanish or local? Because I'm... Español.

25:14

Spanish local. Estoy Juan.

25:19

Anyway... Mi llamo es

25:21

Juan. Juan.

25:25

Si. Si. Don't

25:30

know what you're doing in my kitchen, but... I

25:35

guess... While I've got you, I'll show

25:37

you this. Oh!

25:42

Ah... Mucho gusto, Paris! Yes,

25:45

yes, that's right. It's

25:48

a tattoo of Patrick Schwarzenegger with a

25:50

Latin translation of an Ario... Outdoors, cinco.

25:55

It's kind of like high five, I think.

25:58

Also, it means up low. Though I'd

26:00

like up five. Whoa. What? have it

26:02

as you might have one? Such a

26:05

weird guys. Is this better with suddenly

26:07

normal for me to show you my

26:09

Patrick's Forty megatons who had breakfast then

26:12

for a half and. Not

26:22

allowed. Dot hear what you

26:24

are More your point on

26:26

how would I ever on

26:28

the side fucking third Marianne

26:30

back is ready for action.

26:32

Was. Sold out

26:34

on fuck off his first. they can

26:37

hold on tight. Cyber division of them

26:39

and rather than yourself a guy throw

26:41

take on earth can be done there.

26:43

Op or be a foot. Now I'm

26:45

exposed books. I want to get exposed

26:47

with you guys. I'm gonna flip over

26:50

the panties. Was by the subs that.

26:52

We can get some real he be shared because

26:54

that's where I desire. My

26:56

page was funny time on this.

26:58

The foreign one fifty second viewing

27:00

of the movie was that the

27:03

dude loves Six Materials theoretic. Sure

27:05

it's third Sixers through on a

27:07

different parts of the movies is

27:09

not working together. He just loves

27:12

we is happening on and about

27:14

his body. He loves six but

27:16

not too much. heat it up,

27:18

punching them know he just was

27:21

wearing the right a lot Tottenham

27:23

He loves other varieties of tix

27:25

a his. The cuisine that I was

27:27

on a boil down to. Like.

27:30

Cause did you watch with cheese is that

27:32

deters actually bird me but a competitive the

27:34

very near and is very tender and in

27:36

a just my leg from about. My

27:39

Lady Lakes. Like. I

27:44

guess my question is. Are.

27:48

I is my first question. Could.

27:50

You could you have foreseen that's

27:52

as big an American don't lasted

27:55

when we started like thank you

27:57

So vs growth year ago with

27:59

question to. Yeah. Sounds

28:02

like a man running bare arsed

28:04

and afraid. From

28:09

Patrick Schwarzenegger arriving at a party.

28:11

Tell me more. The

28:13

way you're talking to me sounds like you

28:15

were having drinks at your

28:17

sister-in-law's house and then

28:20

Patrick Schwarzenegger came around with a bottle of

28:22

gin and you said, I was

28:24

lovely to meet you, I've got to go. I'm

28:30

not sure I am on

28:32

board with what you said. Tell me what

28:34

the fuck you enjoyed about Patrick Schwarzenegger in

28:37

the movie just watched or get off the

28:39

stage. Did I not say Cheeks?

28:42

Was Cheeks an unacceptable answer

28:44

to you? No. I

28:47

just forgot. I saw it. I saw

28:49

it. I saw that with what

28:51

would happen. See

28:54

folks, the thing is everyone in the

28:56

cinema is going, what a bunch

28:58

of douche bags. I can totally watch the

29:01

movie without drinking six beers. But

29:03

the thing is, we've seen it

29:06

literally 51 times before tonight. Two

29:08

times, yeah, two now. In

29:10

the last 12 months and that is really

29:12

saying something. So don't judge us. Tim, I've

29:15

got to ask you. Judge yourself. Did

29:18

you at any point while we were watching the movie

29:20

tonight feel guilty about making a room full of people

29:22

watching the movie tonight? Kind of, yeah. Mainly,

29:24

the bit where it really kicks into

29:27

high guilt gear is about three quarters

29:29

of the way through when you sort

29:31

of, to be honest,

29:33

there's anything after when Casey breaks his leg because

29:35

that's the bit where the movie, funnily enough, that's

29:37

the halfway point. And we know that because we

29:39

mapped out exactly in the film where we knew

29:41

50% was. When

29:45

Casey displays some ability

29:47

in football, you're like, wow,

29:49

it only took us an hour, but finally we

29:52

have a thread to follow. Like, finally

29:54

there's some plot and shit. And

29:56

then it gets destroyed immediately.

30:00

I'm fucking seen by

30:02

his dad who breaks his leg. Do you know

30:04

what also gets me is if I was a

30:06

football coach and I just saw a kid who

30:08

was kicking for his first time like that, I

30:10

would not be so blasé about the injury. Yeah?

30:13

I walk up to Adam Sandler and say,

30:16

hey dude, you got some real parenting issues,

30:18

your son's got potential, we'll pay for his

30:20

health insurance. That being said,

30:22

you're a psychopath and I think you

30:25

drew a visit from some government officials

30:27

because, you know, the

30:29

feds don't like how you parent. Which

30:32

you can take one of two ways. Number one, Adam

30:34

Sandler's a bad dad, number two, the government's a bad

30:36

government. It's up to you.

30:38

The truth lies somewhere in the middle. I don't

30:41

want to cut off the conservatives for this podcast.

30:43

I know they're second strong. We

30:45

got a lot of red voters. We

30:48

got a lot of Mitt Romney types. We

30:50

got a lot of John McCain voters. Mitt Romney

30:52

is actually a very big fan of the podcast.

30:55

I got a letter from Mitt this morning

30:57

at the apartment. Yeah, it said, Dad, Tim

31:00

and Guy, keep up

31:02

the good work. If

31:04

you ever want to come over for dinner, you're more

31:06

than welcome. I have 13 wives. It

31:12

was a very frank, very honest letter from

31:14

Milt. I'll be honest

31:16

with you, I didn't think you knew who Mitt

31:18

Romney was but you clearly have shown

31:20

yourself to be. I pronounce it. You're

31:22

a better participant in American politics than

31:24

I gave you crazy for. He's not

31:26

a bad guy. He's just an idiot.

31:28

Let's... You keep trying

31:30

to get away from the core truth of what's happening tonight,

31:32

Guy. I want to know your

31:35

feelings. I want to know... Tell

31:37

me what it feels to be in front of 170, 50, 20... It'll

31:43

go down every time because

31:46

we've got to head towards the truth with that. There

31:49

is 23 people in front of us right now making

31:51

a lot of noise. But how do you feel about that? Very

31:53

rowdy 13. We're in Los Angeles, California. I'm pretty sure we've

31:56

lost all the way. California.

32:01

My sense of direction isn't great but I

32:03

think we're in Hollywood right now. Like what

32:06

are your thoughts? How do you feel about

32:08

that? Pretty good to be here. Yeah? These

32:11

chairs aren't as comfortable as your couch.

32:15

Okay. But

32:18

okay. But I gotta say

32:20

it's pretty wonderful to have people actually

32:22

listening you know in real time to

32:25

what we're saying. You know what? I

32:27

don't like it. I'm

32:29

not a fan. If I had

32:32

to pick between being alone in the lounge

32:34

and this, I'm gonna

32:36

go lounge every time. Tell

32:39

me why. In the lounge

32:42

there's food, there's natural light,

32:45

there's no people watching me. I'm usually

32:48

looking pretty strong at you boy.

32:51

Yeah. I'm

32:53

eyeballing the shit out of you.

32:56

Oh okay. Thinking now I can

32:58

get in there. Hold on. Make

33:00

myself come fit. Maybe

33:02

see what it feels like to

33:04

be Timbap for a little while.

33:06

Whoa you're going in deep huh?

33:09

Yeah real deep. Okay. As physically

33:11

deep as possible for another human

33:13

climbing into the body of another

33:15

human. It's like comic book territory

33:17

where you take over me, over

33:19

my skin. Sorry boy what were

33:22

you saying? You've really

33:24

thrown me for a, well

33:26

depending on what country you're from either a

33:29

curveball or a six. It's

33:31

a ball sport either way and I'm

33:34

very confused, slightly

33:37

aroused. I

33:39

prefer my lounge because there's like

33:43

there's couches there. You mentioned

33:45

the good thing. We just watched the movie in a

33:48

car. I know. I know. I

33:55

like the safety of biscuits being really close

33:58

to me. And

34:00

in America, you are where a biscuit in

34:02

America is gone. It's a

34:04

sweet song. But only in the south. We don't usually

34:07

have sweet songs. It's a cookie

34:09

here. OK. OK, let me

34:11

rephrase. Let me rephrase. This thing

34:13

is, when I'm at home, I know cookies are surrounding

34:15

me. And that brings me a lot of joy. It's

34:17

much more obvious to me now. And I'm freaking out

34:19

right now because I can't see

34:21

a single cookie on this. I

34:24

see a DJ booth, and I see a big scream behind

34:26

us. I can't see a single cookie. I

34:28

see potential. I see Blaze

34:31

Pizza. That's

34:36

an imitation of Patrick Schwarzenegger whenever he

34:38

heard about Blaze Pizza. I

34:42

don't know why we're talking about them now. We

34:45

swore ourselves off those busts. Can I talk about

34:47

Shiri Oteri real quick? Yeah, you can. Because I

34:49

felt like in this particular watch, she really came

34:51

out to play. I feel

34:53

like Shiri Oteri was here for

34:56

keeps. She was playing marbles. And

34:59

she was losing marbles. She was

35:01

lost to marbles. Shiri Oteri's insane.

35:04

But a good actor. Shiri Oteri, I was

35:06

actually, you were speaking about this earlier, I

35:09

felt somewhat disappointed,

35:12

I think, in the audience reaction to

35:14

Shiri Oteri's opening scene with Selma Hayek.

35:17

I don't know what's been happening the

35:19

last year. But I do

35:21

know that, for whatever reason, I've

35:23

associated that scene with sort of laughter.

35:28

It didn't happen tonight. Legitimately, that

35:30

was probably the biggest scene in the movie before we

35:33

got to the party scene, which as we know is

35:35

a total throwaway. That whole third act is we can

35:37

run it off. Not

35:39

the biggest scene. But the

35:41

interaction between Selma Hayek and

35:43

Shiri Oteri. The

35:45

crowd. And Shiri Omeri. And

35:47

Sinner family tonight on this,

35:49

the seven, 18th of February.

35:52

In the year of our Lord 2015, you

35:55

didn't go for it. You were rats who

35:57

smelt the cheese and went, I see what's

35:59

happening here. And go fuck

36:01

yourself. And I

36:03

admire that about this crowd, but I also am

36:06

confused by it because I thought that was a

36:08

funny scene. I've lost your perspective

36:10

clearly because I've seen the movie too many times. But

36:13

I legitimately thought that Summer Hayek

36:15

and Terri O'Sheary's pairing was good.

36:18

It's definitely a bit entertaining. It's really that cut

36:20

all of Terri O'Sheary and Summer Hayek's scenes from

36:22

the movie, because I agree, I thought they really

36:24

popped off. I thought they were good tonight, right?

36:27

Yeah. Right? What

36:31

I think, Tim, is

36:33

that we're in way over our heads here. Oh

36:36

shit. Okay, we're pretty good too. What more do

36:38

we need to cover? Have

36:40

we done all of the things? I

36:43

don't know. Hold on. Did you do

36:45

a Shining Line? No. Did

36:48

he? This

36:51

is so much better with a crowd because I

36:53

don't have to rack my brain remembering. Me was

36:55

supposed to, or you were supposed to rely on it. Here

36:58

I am. You've been doing it. Storing

37:00

this whole fucking time. Guess what, guys?

37:02

What an asshole. Here we have it.

37:05

There we are. There we were.

37:08

Los Angeles, California on the final

37:10

watch and Guy had to determine

37:12

his Shining Light. And

37:16

it was... The

37:18

moment in the movie when the Guy

37:22

with the leotard

37:25

took a sip

37:27

of beer. Now,

37:30

when this happened,

37:33

a lot in

37:36

the movie comes

37:42

down hard. Let's

37:49

stop playing this awful improv game.

37:53

You really need to pick a fucking Shining Light, dude.

37:55

We can't move on until you do. Like,

37:59

can I... Can I just cop

38:01

out and be like over like about talk about

38:03

the whole project How

38:07

about this for a shining light idiot yeah

38:09

when the credits roll Yes, and we hugged

38:12

because we don't have to watch the movie

38:14

anymore. Yeah, how's that for a fucking shining

38:16

light? Fuck

38:22

you If

38:27

I may take the opportunity to tell you how

38:29

it is as a shining light it

38:31

doesn't fucking qualify Cuz

38:34

it wasn't in the goddamn movie you son

38:36

of a bitch Let

38:38

me tell you something about you Guy Montgomery

38:41

You're a fucking idiot And

38:45

I hate your gut I've

38:47

made a pitchfork right now a German through

38:49

your goddamn chest and murder you Well,

38:53

I'm gonna get through this cheese

38:55

how that being said So

38:57

I've been eating usually bars since we were in the

38:59

desert and guess what I'm feeling pretty goddamn near to

39:02

invincible You

39:04

put a pitchfork into my body. I think

39:06

it's gonna crumble like a goddamn spork in

39:08

a coconut What are you? I'm

39:10

just standing it mutually. What do you think it does?

39:14

It makes me feel like

39:16

I'm Zeus. You're an idiot Yeah,

39:18

I notified fucking moron Zeus wasn't quick with

39:20

his brain, but it was fucking quick with

39:22

a lightning bolt, bitch I'm

39:26

Zeus right now. You're not and I'm

39:28

taking out of this conversation. I understand

39:31

I understand Lesson

39:33

where are we at? I'm not sure we need to

39:35

place ourselves in space and time right now Well,

39:39

I think that we welcome To

39:44

the end Yeah The

39:47

end Well,

39:52

if there was ever an anti crescendo That

39:56

was that if there was ever the worst

39:58

way to end the worst there of

40:00

all time. Pretty sure you nailed

40:02

it bro. Way to stay on

40:04

brand. Proud of you. I'm

40:07

proud of myself. Hey, I'm Guy

40:09

Montgomery. I'm Tim Bad. Don't

40:12

watch.

40:14

Good

40:16

enough. Listen, on

40:19

a serious night. Before you

40:21

leave, we brought you

40:23

some presents to take with you

40:25

back to the old. Oh shit,

40:27

Brett. It's cute. Let's

40:29

have a third round of applause for Brett because he's fucking

40:32

earned it. This shit's all up to him. Is that

40:35

a family on Fairfax with Sunset? Oh

40:38

fuck off. That's cool. Oh

40:41

shit. Oh my god. So

40:45

we are currently holding a promotional grown-up

40:48

supervisor which seems like official

40:50

crew swag. A

40:52

cookie which may or may not

40:54

contain any wheat. No, that's because

40:56

you've been asking for a

40:58

cookie for what feels

41:01

like 10 hours. You fucking

41:03

moron. But more importantly, Guy

41:05

is currently wearing a grown-up's

41:07

two... What do they

41:09

call when they're in the water? Is

41:11

anyone... What's the correct... Flotation device. It's

41:13

like a donut, right? Like a what?

41:15

An inflator tube. In a tube. An

41:17

inner tube. It's an inflator in a

41:19

tube and it's grown-up's two branded. This

41:21

is the heaviest biscuit I've ever fucking

41:24

lifted. Feel it. I gave it to

41:27

you. I've already felt it. Feel it.

41:29

I literally picked it up to put it in your

41:32

hands. I'm

41:36

not going to lie to you. It's

41:38

wet. But

41:41

that's not... Not a bad quality in

41:43

a biscuit. That's not altogether a bad

41:45

thing. I

41:48

want to take this opportunity on behalf of myself and

41:50

Guy to thank you guys so much for tuning out

41:52

tonight. You guys are wonderful. Give yourselves a round of

41:56

applause. Truly. That applause is to

41:58

you. You're amazing. Thank you. Um...

42:04

And so, uh, just, uh,

42:06

look, what I did is I

42:08

wanted you guys to, um, hey.

42:12

What I did! Come on. We,

42:15

what we did, we threw a little, did you fart

42:17

on stage? No! I just, I felt

42:20

you did. I didn't fart. Okay. Um...

42:25

Look, I made a little, we made a little

42:27

thank you video for you guys. Who made it?

42:29

I definitely made it. I was

42:31

in the room about half the time. But,

42:35

uh, look, it's not that long and I

42:37

just wanted to, um, present it to you

42:39

guys here at the live event, um, because

42:41

you're wonderful. I, yeah, cheers for

42:43

coming out. This is a weird situation. We're really happy

42:45

we're here. We're even more happy you're here. Let's get

42:47

out of here. And we're gonna mail!

42:49

So, enjoy the video. Thanks for coming. Time

42:52

to go. Good night. Thank

43:22

you. Thank

43:52

you. slash

44:00

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44:35

Let's get this dinner party started. Question

44:46

one and your starter for a perfect ten

44:49

was this. How many different colors

44:51

are on the national flag of Greece? And

44:53

the answer is there are two colors and they

44:55

are blue and red.