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Welcome to

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Before Breakfast, a production of iHeart

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Radio.

0:38

Good morning, this is Laura.

0:40

Welcome to the

0:42

Before Breakfast podcast.

0:45

Today's tip is for when you are

0:47

making a decision with family

0:49

or friends. Don't

0:51

assume that consensus is best.

0:53

Instead of settling

0:56

for the lowest common denominator, consider

0:59

taking turns choosing

1:02

so that everybody gets their top choice

1:05

from time to time. So

1:08

many of us sometimes find

1:10

ourselves needing to make a collective

1:13

decision about what everyone is

1:15

going to do.

1:16

What's a movie

1:17

that everyone can enjoy for family

1:19

movie night? Maybe you are

1:22

trying to please your active toddler,

1:24

your elementary schooler who's into Pixar,

1:27

your middle schooler who's a diehard Harry Potter

1:30

fan, your mother-in-law who

1:32

likes classic musicals, and

1:34

your partner who just wants everyone

1:36

to stay put for the entire time.

1:40

What book should you read for book club next month

1:43

when members have different tastes and

1:45

different schedules? Where

1:48

should you go for your monthly girls' night out this

1:50

month when people are coming from

1:52

different directions and have

1:54

a variety of tastes and budgets?

1:58

We've all been in situations. like these

2:01

where you may be able to reach a consensus

2:03

through collective decision making. But

2:06

that process doesn't necessarily

2:08

lead to an option that everyone is thrilled

2:10

with, even if

2:12

it is satisfactory to everyone.

2:15

A lot of people

2:17

have a working assumption that consensus

2:20

is the way to go. But

2:22

that may not always be the best way

2:24

to maximize happiness over time. You

2:28

may find yourself at the same inoffensive

2:30

restaurant for every girl's night, and

2:33

watching Mary Poppins over

2:35

and over again. So

2:38

instead of aiming for consensus every

2:40

time, consider taking

2:42

turns and letting everyone

2:45

choose exactly what they want when

2:47

it is their turn. You

2:49

choose the movie this week, your little guy the week

2:52

after that, then the elementary schooler,

2:54

the middle schooler, your mother-in-law, then your

2:56

husband, then it is your turn again. Everybody

2:59

will broaden their viewing experience, and

3:02

you may discover movies that you never would

3:04

have tried otherwise. For

3:07

your book club, all the members could

3:09

take turns choosing the book. At

3:12

a small plates restaurant, if each

3:14

person orders the two or three dishes

3:17

they are most excited about, and

3:19

then you share them all, it tends to

3:21

work out. Of course,

3:23

you can set parameters for these

3:25

choices. Maybe

3:27

all book club picks need to be under 400

3:30

pages. Family

3:33

movie night might be limited

3:35

to G or PG options.

3:38

Restaurants for girls night out might need to fit

3:40

within a certain budget per person. But

3:44

within these parameters, when

3:46

it is your turn to choose, you

3:49

get to choose freely. The

3:51

upside of this method is that people

3:54

tend to choose things that they think

3:56

are actually good

3:57

when they get a free choice. Do

4:00

I think this movie is or will be

4:02

amazing? Is an entirely

4:05

different question than, do

4:08

I think five people with different interests

4:11

won't all hate this movie? Amazing

4:15

raises the possibility of the choice being

4:18

something really cool,

4:20

even if it isn't

4:22

what you would have picked. Sometimes

4:25

consensus yields a decision that everyone

4:27

can deal with but no one loves. When

4:31

multiple options can be pursued over

4:33

time, taking turns

4:35

can lead to more satisfaction. You

4:39

know you will be thrilled with the option every

4:42

time your turn rolls around, and

4:45

something unexpected might

4:47

delight you when it is someone

4:49

else's turn. In

4:52

the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks

4:56

for listening.

4:57

And here's to making the most

5:00

of our time.

5:07

Hey everybody, I'd love to hear from you. You

5:09

can send me your tips, your questions, or anything else.

5:13

Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook,

5:15

and Instagram at BeforeBreakfastPod.

5:19

That's B-E, the number four,

5:21

then breakfast, P-O-D. You

5:24

can also shoot me an email at BeforeBreakfastPodcast

5:28

at IHeartMedia.com. That Before

5:30

Breakfast is spelled out with all the letters. Thanks

5:33

so much. I look forward to staying in touch.

5:35

Before

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Breakfast is a production of iHeartRadio. For

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more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit

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