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0:25

Hi,

0:39

everyone. You have tuned into what is probably going to be a really dull episode.

0:45

Cause

0:45

I

0:45

got

0:45

a

0:45

real

0:45

turd

0:45

on

0:49

today.

0:49

This

0:49

guy,

0:49

this

0:49

guy

0:49

hides

0:49

in

0:49

hides

0:49

and

0:57

impressions. Cause there's really nothing to him.

0:59

He's an empty vessel.

1:01

And if he's not doing a funny voice, he's basically staring at a wall.

1:06

That's right. It's bill Hader, everyone.

1:07

Hi bill.

1:10

Hi Andy.

1:12

I liked it. I like to introduce my guests to make them feel good.

1:15

So I hope that made you feel good.

1:19

Yeah. Made me feel great. I'm to feel a very, very seen.

1:25

Well, how are you? We're talking on a Saturday.

1:27

Cause I you're so busy. Are you shooting your show right now?

1:32

Yeah. We're shooting Barry right now. We have about two and a half more weeks of shooting.

1:37

How is it? Is it it's been going good.

1:40

Yeah, but we've been shooting this in July.

1:42

I'm prepping since April.

1:44

So is it one of those, One

1:47

of those productions where everyone's worked 14 hours a day and fed only granola bars and Yeah,

1:53

no, I feel very happy that we're cause I was a production assistant.

1:56

So I've been like on those shows where you work for a few days and stuff and it stinks.

2:02

And so yeah, the Gavin Klein top and I eat a Rogers and Alec Berg and I we're all very, we all started at the bottom of someplace, so we're all very conscientious and try to make it like if we go anything over a 10 hour day where we kind of freak out, It

2:22

makes a huge difference for people. Cause I know I, I was up, I went to film school.

2:27

I was productions that you and I have very similar beginnings and show business in that way.

2:35

Except you actually were in LA doing it.

2:38

And I was in Chicago doing it. Yeah.

2:40

So mine was like kind of, I mean like my celebrities were, you know, like Mike Ditka and Michael Jordan basketball.

2:47

That's the celebrities Irene.

2:50

Cool, cool.

2:52

Yeah. That's pretty rad. But, But

2:55

it is. I do feel I will, you know, I am worked with underneath the people who are my friends who, when you have to wait for four hours for some adjustment to be made.

3:07

And I have friends, very short tempered friends who have been like, what the fuck is taking so long.

3:13

And I always feel like, well, you wouldn't know, would you?

3:16

You haven't know. No.

3:17

Yeah. And it's, and you know, yeah, you don't know what, what everyone's been through and how everyone's so tired.

3:24

And when, you know, we started out this week having to be at a location at 4:00 AM because the sun hat we're shooting the sun coming up.

3:33

And then by the end of the week, you're shooting a night scene, you know, outside.

3:39

So you have to get over to nights and we, we try not to shoot full nights.

3:44

We try to make it split. So your, which means you, you know, you show up at noon and shoot until midnight to do some day work, some night work, but I've done those shows.

3:54

I'm going to be in a PA on a movie where we did two months of straight nights, you know, and that just, it makes you insane.

4:02

Yeah, Yeah,

4:05

yeah. No, I, I, yeah, when I was at PA, I remember, I think there was one time when I worked 36 hours straight because of, because of picking up gear, taking it to a location, prepping another location, mapping out, you know, shooting all night, wrapping out the location and returning all the gear.

4:27

And it's the end.

4:29

It is like a lot of what's going on now.

4:31

It's, it's funny because it's like, you don't really, at least I feel like throughout like a lot of, kind of the evolution of the last 15, 20 years of kind of just politically aware, like learning, not to say certain words and in a way you're like, oh yeah, right.

4:48

I've been saying that word thoughtlessly my whole life, but I can see how that would be a problem.

4:53

A hundred percent.

4:55

Yeah. I feel like lately with all the kind of talk about the IFC strike and stuff, it has made me think like, oh yeah, film productions really fucked up like that is duke play on this notion that you're lucky to be here.

5:12

You wanted this so bad.

5:14

And you know how rare it is to score a job in this industry.

5:17

So shut up and do it, you know?

5:22

Yeah. You can, it's very easy. And I've been on those shows and I've had friends who've been on those shows where, you know, you could be at the mercy of a, whether it's a producer who, you know, or a production company and that's going to work really cheap and kind of do what you're describing, which is we're going to cut costs and cut a lot of corners and do what should be probably two months of work in three weeks, you know, cause it'll save us a bunch of money or something, or you're at the mercy of a director who, you know, needs their time and works 18, 19 hour days.

6:01

And I've done that as a PA and as an actor.

6:04

And the funny thing is, in my opinion, I go watch those movies and I'll go watch something that I know is shot reasonable.

6:13

And I see no real difference.

6:15

There's never a time.

6:17

I go see one of those movies where you're L hard and along the hours where, and I go, well, you know what?

6:22

It really shows.

6:22

I

6:22

it's

6:22

just,

6:22

you're

6:22

at

6:22

the

6:22

it's

6:22

you're

6:22

at

6:22

the

6:22

whim

6:22

of

6:22

someone's

6:29

process. I just think that's, you know, give them more, if they need more time than they need to spend the money to, to, to add more shooting days, working anything over 10 hours to me, you just start getting good work done after it's a moment.

6:47

Everything, everything stops working.

6:51

I always operated on the principle that especially if you're doing comedy, if you're regardless of what ends up on film, if it's a group of miserable fucking people who don't want to be there, odds are, it's not going to be very funny.

7:04

You know what I mean? There is kind of an alchemy, there's kind of a magic that needs to transfer from the fun of people, making it to the fun of people watching it.

7:14

Yeah. Yeah. Even like you hear like, and look, I, you know, I love some of Stanley Kubrick's movies, but you know, I remember being a film student, you know, a film I'm still a film geek, but in my twenties it was really romanticized version of these, these directors.

7:30

And you would hear, you know, Stanley Kubrick did 150 takes of a Shelley Duvall and Jack, Jack Nicholson on the stairs and the shining, you know, I'm not, I'm going to bash your brains in that scene.

7:44

Cause he wanted to get Shelley Duvall to this real sense of hysteria and all this.

7:50

And yeah, we thought that was so cool.

7:54

And that was being an artist and yeah, and why it was so great.

7:57

And then you start doing this as a job and I've now, you know, I've been in a horror movie, I've been in horror movies.

8:04

I've been in dramas, comedies, everything, and I've seen people do and I've seen Shelley Duvall and other movies do just that.

8:12

And I'm bet there was five takes.

8:14

It's called acting because that's, that's not cool.

8:18

That's not cool, Rick, that's his ego, that's his, I need that process.

8:22

That's all about ego and stuff.

8:24

And I, I, yeah.

8:27

When, when people it's bad, when people, you start hearing about their process and you know more about the process or remember the process more than the work.

8:36

Yes. You know what I mean? Yeah. And so an acting, directing, writing, you always hear that stuff.

8:42

So it is funny, but that said, I mean, I watched the shiny was my oldest daughter not too long ago and I still enjoyed it, but I was like, I just don't want to be on that side.

8:58

Yeah. I mean, I think that, you know, like you said, I'm take town, I bet Shelley Duvall Duvall.

9:02

It wouldn't have affected our enjoyment of that county.

9:05

I think she wouldn't fine.

9:07

And we would not, we would not have that knowledge in our mind of like the fucking psychic karmic damage that, that caused, especially like to Shelley Duvall who basically kinda got ruined for filmmaking from that movie.

9:22

I mean, arguing.

9:24

Yeah. I just don't understand the, as I get older and as you start doing it, you know, you'll see a great actor do something very similar like that.

9:37

And other Shelley Duvall those Robert Altman movies.

9:40

I mean three women. I mean, I mean she great, great actor.

9:44

And so I never really, to me that that was more like, again, it's like ego and which, Well,

9:54

the idea that you hire a capable, known quantity professional person, and then decide in your mind, this person needs to be manipulated and controlled and treated like a child.

10:08

That's fucking, Yeah.

10:10

That's, that's your, that's your shit.

10:13

That's your shit that you're dealing with.

10:15

And he didn't do it to Jack Nicholson and know, you know, and, and, and, but you hear the other films, you know, he tortured Malcolm McDowell on clockwork, orange and the, you know, the scene where he has his eyes open, apparently caught his eye.

10:30

He fucked his eyes and, and Kubrick said a will favor the other eye, apparently when they're shooting it and you go, oh, okay.

10:39

That's nice. But it, I haven't gotten to a place where you hear those things.

10:45

And I go, oh, that doesn't affect my enjoyment of the movies.

10:49

You know, I still enjoy those movies, but I just wouldn't want to work on them.

10:56

And you know, you just don't need to, like a lot of people don't like eyes wide shut.

11:01

I actually enjoy that movie. But I, but when you hear like, oh yeah, they'd shot Tom cruise entering a door for two weeks.

11:11

IRA. Yeah. That's that's silly.

11:15

Oh my God. I can't even imagine.

11:16

What,

11:16

why

11:16

did,

11:16

why

11:16

did

11:16

you

11:16

want

11:16

to

11:16

get

11:16

into

11:16

show,

11:16

but

11:16

just

11:16

what,

11:16

what

11:16

do

11:16

you

11:16

think,

11:16

was

11:16

it

11:16

about,

11:16

I

11:16

mean,

11:16

just

11:16

do

11:16

a

11:16

quick

11:16

synopsis

11:16

of

11:16

your

11:26

childhood. Like where you from and family dynamic was and, and how business came out of that.

11:34

I'm from Tulsa, Oklahoma, pretty, you know, average childhood.

11:41

I had two younger sisters.

11:43

My

11:43

dad

11:43

was,

11:43

he

11:43

did,

11:43

he

11:43

ran

11:43

a

11:43

restaurant

11:43

when

11:43

I

11:43

was

11:43

really

11:43

young

11:43

and

11:43

then

11:43

drove

11:43

a

11:43

truck

11:43

for

11:43

a

11:52

bit. And then he ended up managing an air freight company.

11:54

And then my mom was, you know, was a dance teacher and, and things like that.

12:03

So, I mean, but show business for me was, you know, it, it, it, it was completely on an unattainable, like the idea of being involved in any way and show business was like, like, you know, like a saying, you want to go to Mars or colonize Mars or something.

12:25

It was just like this other thing.

12:28

So you don't get to do no, no, he didn't know anybody who did it.

12:35

You've never met anybody who did it.

12:36

I remember the first celebrity I ever saw was we took a family trip to Hawaii and I saw John Lira cat by a pool.

12:46

And I just went, oh my God, that's the guy from night court.

12:49

Just seeing a person who I seen on television.

12:52

That feeling where you go, oh my God.

12:56

And, but for me it was always liking comedy, but liking all movies, you know, loving old films and from a very young age, wanting to be a director, you know, noticing the, the name, the director in the credits and seeing how each of them had a style and noticing that from a pretty young age.

13:23

So very quickly when I was still in high school, I would go to places where they shot commercials and Tulsa, just to see how they did it and try to help out in any way.

13:34

And then like what age?

13:36

And then like 15, something like that, 15, 16.

13:43

And then, and I helped out in a couple, like, I think I worked on this once.

13:50

I, you know, it's like they would shoot Philbrook museum, you know?

13:53

And they would bring in like a little EPK crew and I was grabbing, you know, charging a batteries and grabbing everybody lunch and stuff like that.

14:00

But I was around people shooting stuff, you know, I just thought it was so cool.

14:05

And then, and then made little films with my sisters and friends.

14:12

One of whom is a guy named Duffy Boudreau, who I've known since I was 15.

14:18

And now he is a writer on Barry and producer on Barry.

14:22

We've, we've been really close and now collaborate and that's been nice.

14:26

But then I moved to Arizona for no reason.

14:30

I don't know why.

14:32

I literally just just happens.

14:34

They don't know why they're there.

14:36

I

14:36

know

14:36

Kimmel,

14:36

Jimmy

14:36

came

14:36

a

14:36

laugh

14:36

so

14:36

hard

14:36

that

14:36

I

14:36

went

14:36

out

14:36

of

14:36

state

14:36

to

14:36

go

14:36

to

14:36

community

14:44

college.

14:44

I

14:44

did,

14:44

I

14:44

went

14:44

out

14:44

of

14:44

state

14:44

to

14:44

go

14:44

to

14:44

Scottsdale

14:44

community

14:50

college.

14:52

What was it about that? You know what it was?

14:54

Oh, no, it was, my grades were horrible in high school.

14:58

And so I got, the only thing I could really go to that was film was a thing called the, the art Institute of Phoenix.

15:06

And they had art institutes everywhere.

15:09

And so I went to the one in Phoenix cause I was like, well, it's closest to LA and they didn't care about grades.

15:17

So I went there and then a friend of mine there said, Hey, I'm actually taking classes at Scottsdale community college.

15:23

And they're shooting film.

15:24

They had all these airy BLS and they had flatbeds and they also had a couple of Avids and this is like 1997.

15:33

Yeah. So that was like really cool.

15:34

And high-tech, and it was before it was back when video looked like video.

15:38

And so, yeah, I went up there and I shot some short films, met some friends who I'm still friends with today.

15:46

And we, we moved out to LA, June of 1999.

15:52

And how much, how much of, of this, what, what component of this drive to do this and this desire to do this is being a performer or is it factoring in that much at all?

16:04

No, Not,

16:06

no. It was never about being a performer.

16:07

Being a performer came about very kind of by accident.

16:13

I mean, I was in a couple of plays in high school, but that was mostly because my high school girlfriend was in the plays and it was a way for us to hang out with each other.

16:22

And then, and then, and then I started, I took classes at second city LA, this is before UCB or any of his second city LA and the ground lease and the Groundlings, which had a wait list for like a year just to take classes there.

16:44

And then I O which is on Hollywood.

16:49

And then, and so yeah, I went to classes there did shows and things like that.

16:56

And it was so as a way To

16:59

shore up your directing, I'm sorry.

17:00

Yeah, No, yeah. It was solely just to be like, oh, I'll meet some actors here and we'll make like short films and stuff like that and then get laid.

17:08

Yeah, no, no, no.

17:13

I was, I was like, hi everyone.

17:16

No, I I've. I've always had like a girlfriend.

17:18

So it was always like, oh, I'm gonna meet, you know, actors and make stuff.

17:22

And then, and then it became more about like, well, why don't you be in this stuff?

17:28

No

17:28

offense

17:28

bill,

17:28

but

17:28

yours,

17:28

you

17:28

know,

17:28

we'd

17:28

rather

17:28

you

17:28

were

17:28

in

17:28

it

17:28

and

17:28

instead

17:28

of

17:28

shooting

17:28

it

17:28

and

17:28

then,

17:28

and

17:28

then,

17:28

and

17:28

then

17:28

I

17:28

got

17:28

really

17:40

lucky. Megan, Malali saw me at a show and said, you're really funny.

17:43

I'm going to tell Laura Michaels about you.

17:45

And that's, I mean, I was, I was working as an assistant editor on iron chef America when Lindsay shook has called me and said, well, Laura Michaels would like to meet you.

17:55

And I had no manager, no agent, no, it's the story that And

18:00

paint, perform, perform, perform.

18:04

Wow. That's why, I'm the story.

18:07

That is why actors hate me.

18:12

That's like, Yeah,

18:16

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20:53

So then I met Lauren and then auditioned and then through that, got a manager and agent and stuff.

20:59

And then I had a friend who went to Africa for like a couple of months.

21:06

And when he left, I was an assistant editor.

21:08

When he came back, I was like, oh, I'm moving to New York.

21:11

I'm gonna say that. Like I was like, what?

21:17

Wow, you said, pay that guy to go to Africa.

21:20

Every, every few nights, Got

21:22

it Worked out great. You'll win an Oscar.

21:26

But the thing was though, when I got to send it live, I ended up working with these people that had much more experience than I did.

21:33

And writing sketch comedy still was never like something that I was very good at.

21:40

I think I was good at being in the room and saying, oh, I could do this or do that.

21:43

But I very much needed writers.

21:46

You know, whereas like the crew I came in with Andy and and Kristen and Collin Joest and you know, the lonely island guys, Brian Tucker, all these people were all really solid writers.

22:04

You know, they could write their stuff.

22:06

Fred could write stuff for an artist and could write his own stuff, you know?

22:10

And I don't know if I ever turned my, my, I don't know if I've opened, like the, the, you know, the programs write the scripts on my computer.

22:19

You know, it was always, yeah.

22:23

John Malaney or Simon rich or someone like that, you know, Matt Murray, you know, Marika, Sawyer, you know, people like that.

22:31

I need that. I was just, I was the same way on the Conan show where like, whenever I wrote something, cause I would sit in and you know, most of my writing on that thing was just be in there and going like, this needs a new ending.

22:42

What if we did this? And then, you know, like saying it and someone else would write it down, you know?

22:48

Well, I remember, and this is, I remember watching a documentary on the kids in the hall and there's a thing where they did a bit on Conan where, and they were trying to figure out and you're in there and you go, oh, you know what could happen?

23:00

And it was them getting like beaten up or something uncommon or someone coming in.

23:07

They have a fake baby doll and they talk baby to security.

23:11

Yeah. Yeah. They taught us baby security by memory, Kevin McDonald getting hit in the back of the legs and falling.

23:17

But it was so cool for me to see that going, oh yeah.

23:22

That's how it is. Just like, you know, you're just, it really is like, there's, it's no different than my friends.

23:29

When we were around the lunch, we were eating lunch at the cafeteria in high school.

23:33

I mean, it's the same kind of fucking around and, and trying to get out of your head.

23:40

That was the bigger thing at SNL was like, okay, Tuesday night you have to have stuff.

23:45

You have to write something.

23:46

And it took me forever to just get out of my head and relax.

23:51

Cause that's when the good stuff comes.

23:52

But when you're like, all right, I have to have something, you know, it always came up very forced and you know, shitty for a long time.

24:03

I mean, I was very, oh, Rob Klein.

24:06

And John Solomon are two writers that my last season, just, I mean, those guys, they wrote this, a ventriloquist, this puppet sketch about a guy in a puppet class.

24:18

And they wrote this other sketch where I was this very kind of a feminine firefighter.

24:24

Who's screaming at somebody and they're just sketches of people still come up and talk to me about, and I'm like, that is that's.

24:31

Those are, I mean, it was just John and Rob being like, we want to see bill do this, do this.

24:38

Yeah. But so much of that takes time.

24:40

You have to kind of get everybody else to know each other.

24:42

I mean, that was, I was there for eight, eight years by that point, you know?

24:46

But yeah, when I came in, I just remember going to a UCB and watching as cat or something and seeing all those people up there performing and just doing improv and was like, oh my God, someone's going to tap me on the shoulder and be like, what are you doing here, man?

25:08

Were you like, where you funny in your house?

25:09

I mean, how did, how did your family react when it's like, wait, what?

25:13

Like, do you knew you wanted to be in production?

25:17

Yeah. But they didn't know. I mean, were they surprised or were you, I mean, or were they like, oh no, he's always been pretty funny and it makes sense.

25:24

Yeah. They, I think they were like, yeah, you're, I've always been pretty funny.

25:29

You

25:29

know,

25:29

I've

25:29

always

25:29

been

25:29

like

25:29

a

25:29

combination

25:29

of

25:29

like

25:29

funny

25:29

and

25:29

like

25:29

amicable

25:29

and

25:29

then,

25:29

but

25:29

also

25:29

another

25:29

side

25:29

of

25:29

me

25:29

was

25:29

very

25:29

kind

25:29

of

25:29

shy

25:29

and

25:29

hyper,

25:29

you

25:29

know,

25:29

stressed

25:46

out. Yeah. Yeah. And so I think they were, I think it was a combination of like, oh, that makes sense.

25:51

That's like live television.

25:53

Isn't the worst environment for him.

25:55

Like, he's going to be, he's going to be a basket case, you know?

26:01

I mean, I'm sure that you figured out after a while it is like most performers are like a hilarious combination of need it, hate it, you know, like, like it need it.

26:15

And then also like am terrified by it.

26:17

And you know, I, I can't stand rejection, but I'm going into the most rejection filled eclair of a business I can find.

26:27

Yeah. Yeah. It's for me, it was, for me, it was a thing of like the charge I got was creating a thing and seeing it to fruition.

26:36

But because I was this movie fan, it had to have the precision of, of that.

26:44

And that's what I enjoyed.

26:45

And I think especially stand-ups and, and sketch, I mean, the whole what's fun about it is that it kind of having a shaky landing or being loose and strange in this part worked and this part didn't work and, and, and having that confidence of moving with that, I would just rehearse something to, with an inch of his, of his life just because I just, it had to land it perfectly and that, and that caused a lot of stress.

27:14

So the, I was never someone that was like, oh man, I need the, that audience thing.

27:22

You know, that audience approval.

27:24

It was more like I needed to be able to have an idea and, and land it perfectly.

27:31

And like, and if it was like 99% perfect, I would lose my mind.

27:37

I would just be like, I failed, you Know,

27:41

NASA. Now this is at SNL. Yes.

27:43

At SNL. And that, and that by season four, that was when Laura Michaels pulled me aside and said, Hey, you can work here.

27:50

As long as you want, you really need to relax.

27:51

You know, you're just really keyed up.

27:54

And then I've now seen other people now that I run a show, like I've seen people in the same positions, whether it's an actor, someone on the crew or whatever.

28:07

And I'm like, oh, I know that.

28:08

I see that where it's, you're putting a ton of pressure on yourself and, and it doesn't say it doesn't help.

28:15

And I'll say like, dude, I've been there.

28:17

You just got to breathe and, and, and accept that it's known as never gonna be perfect.

28:23

You know?

28:24

So, and now the irony is that I think some people, oh, now he's gonna, you know, you're, you're directing stuff.

28:30

It's going to have this, you know, that OCD thing or whatever the hell it was.

28:35

And, and I don't, because SNL knocked that out of me, I'm much more relaxed of like, okay, that now that's a different thing.

28:49

Yeah. Right, right, right.

28:50

You know, it, it, it, it was great for me in that case of, of relaxing and, and the biggest thing SNL taught me was how to make, have a clear idea and make very clear dis you know, decisive decisions and sticking to it because he just didn't have time.

29:12

Yes. That does that.

29:14

Yeah. I'm mean, yeah. That's I always said the Conan show was laying tracks for a train that you could hear coming.

29:20

You know, like you don't have time, you don't have time to worry, like, is this great or not?

29:25

And me and there were people like Robin Roberts, Michael is an amazing perfectionist and would be literally sometimes editing, still doing editing tweaks on the piece as the band is playing the fucking intro.

29:40

And they would feed it into the show from the edit bay.

29:44

They couldn't even get it to the control room.

29:46

And that was, I, I mean, to me, even, you know, in my cause I learned so much from him that seemed to me, like, I don't feel like that's probably efficient, you know, has a diminishing return, you know?

30:03

Yeah. We would have writers like that at SNL or one writer.

30:07

I was playing Charlie sheen when he had his kind of like meltdown during the whole tiger blood thing.

30:14

And it was a cold open.

30:16

And I was so anxious.

30:18

I was like shaking and, oh my God, it's cold open.

30:22

Initially. It was just a sketch. And now it's a cold open.

30:23

And, and it was like, all right, here we go.

30:28

One minute 30 seconds.

30:31

Everybody's getting quiet, 20 seconds, 10 seconds.

30:36

And the writer walked up to me. He goes, do you want to do the tiger blood joke?

30:38

Or she would not do it. Oh, I know.

30:43

Get away from me. He's like, I could still cut it.

30:46

It's in the last half of the sketch.

30:48

And I was like, get away from me, get away from me.

30:51

I'm going to attack you.

30:54

You can't ask me that, like, I'm radioactive, I'm radioactive because, you know, in their mind it was like, well, we can always shift this around.

31:03

I'm like, Ooh.

31:03

Now not now we're done.

31:08

Yeah. You think that, that, that, that sort of acceptance of the, the imperfection of things and, and possibly the, the impact imperfection of things being the desired outcome, did that bleed over into your personal life too?

31:25

Or is that just like, like, do you feel that that experience helped you kind of accept life?

31:32

Yeah. You know, it's a thing that happens where you, you know, you, when you're younger.

31:38

I mean, it's kind of a thing everybody talks about, but it's true.

31:41

And then it's really annoying when it's true.

31:43

Is it, you, you are a bit more like I was saying, especially with Kubrick stuff, as you romanticize stuff, and you're very kind of idealist.

31:52

And

31:52

then

31:52

as

31:52

you

31:52

get

31:52

older,

31:52

life

31:52

gets

31:52

very

31:52

much

31:52

more

31:59

complicated. And then you realize stuff about yourself that you didn't know, and you realize how much, you know, the something you thought you weren't, you are, you know, or whether it's, I'm not, I don't know.

32:14

Like I never really considered myself an anxious person.

32:19

I always thought I was pretty laid back, you know?

32:22

And it was, you know, so-and-so, I think you need to go to a therapist cause I, you, I think you have an anxiety disorder, you know what I mean?

32:32

That you're kind of going, no, I, I know like what, what do you mean?

32:36

I just, I just haven't slept for three days because I have to do a live show, you know, or whatever it is and where I remember having feeling like I had the flu and I would go, oh my God, I have the flu.

32:49

I don't know what's going on. I went to a doctor and they were like, that's anxiety.

32:54

It's like, it's, you know, it it's like, it knocks your equilibrium off and all this, you know?

33:01

And, and so it's like, yeah, life gets a little bit more interesting.

33:06

Your relationships.

33:07

You

33:07

just,

33:07

I

33:07

think

33:07

it's

33:07

just

33:07

trying

33:07

to

33:07

live

33:07

like

33:07

a

33:07

more

33:07

honest

33:12

life. And you are kind of more accepting, like you're saying of it's weird, it's this weird combination of being more accepting of people.

33:22

But then at the same time, having less time for other people who are just like, that's bullshit.

33:29

I just, don't where I used to be like, oh, meaning like, you know, my twenties and thirties, you would get into spirited, you know, arguments about stuff.

33:42

And now I just, I just don't have the time or the inclination for it where I'm just kind of like, I'm never going to change your mind and ever going to change my mind.

33:52

I can't, I can't get involved in this.

33:55

I'm just going to just kind of go, oh, okay. That's how you are.

33:57

I don't want to have a heart attack.

33:58

This just makes me feel tired.

34:00

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just get tired.

34:03

But then at the same time, you know, I have children and it's like, I want them to have better tools than I had it.

34:11

You know, I can, you know, there's, I've worked on it, but I can be very like defensive and you know, or, or, you know, not fearing people immediately assuming something, you know, and I can get, I can get into a thought cycle and then you have to go, is that really what even happened?

34:33

You know what I mean?

34:34

Or as my anxiety and freaking out about it, now this person slided me in this way and blah, blah, blah.

34:43

And then it takes someone else to go.

34:44

Then that didn't happen.

34:46

That's not what I saw. It's not, that's not what I saw at all.

34:49

And you're like, oh my God, okay.

34:51

I need to just breathe and listen and calm the fuck down.

34:59

You know, Hey

35:04

team Coco, I'm Jessie Gaskell.

35:06

And I'm Mike Sweeney Our

35:08

writers for Conan. And we're also the host of inside Conan, colon, unimportant Hollywood podcast.

35:13

Guess what? We're coming back for our biggest season yet, We're

35:16

getting listeners through 28 years of blade dive memories, starting from the very beginning.

35:20

Here are the inside story on some of Conan's most iconic, late night moment.

35:26

We'll be speaking with your favorite Conan writers, guests and the man himself.

35:29

Here's a little taste of what we have in store.

35:32

It's a lifelong religious pilgrimage.

35:35

They only ends with my death, which is, I must keep going places and making nothing happen any time.

35:47

All of a sudden it was like, we were sort of on a date.

35:50

Literally every other person was looking at each other going, should we go?

35:54

What's going on? So somewhere They're

35:56

in the archives of 30 rock is my audition tape using the Conan page uniform and wearing Conan and makeup.

36:03

And that helped me get the Yes,

36:06

but the masturbating bear in any concession was supposed to have been doing other than masturbating.

36:11

And all these other appearances, you know, is left unsafe.

36:15

You just heard Conan O'Brien Liza Palo, Brian, Jacqueline Br'er and masturbating bear creator.

36:20

Brian Rich listen to inside Conan, wherever you find your podcasts Now.

36:34

I mean, and then to kind of book and the other question, do you think that the coping mechanisms that you found in your personal life then help you in your professional life like that?

36:44

These kind of like the w you know, helping you sort of create a more whole calmer life also makes you create a more, a whole more elevated work?

36:57

Well, what it does, at least for me was the more I, you know, whether it was like for me therapy, you know, I take medication, I do, I do meditation.

37:15

I do Iowasca.

37:16

I sacrifice various animals.

37:21

I

37:21

steal

37:21

things

37:21

at

37:21

a

37:21

neighbor's

37:25

yards. And I put another neighbor's yards.

37:28

I like to, I like to pull the thread of society now, but no, I, I do TM.

37:36

I meditate daily sayings that kind of like, it's just acknowledging like, oh, this thing that is a part of your personality is kind of like hurting you, which is weirdly what Barry's about.

37:49

It's a thing that you kind of feel like, oh, this is a natural part of me.

37:52

That's also hurting me.

37:54

And, but in doing that, you can, like, I could concentrate more on the work and I'm much more clearer with what I'm trying to do and accepting what happens.

38:11

And then therefore I'm much more confident because you know, it's not, as people as the world is politics, all these other things, it's all imperfect.

38:22

And at the end of the day, it doesn't make a whole hell of a lot of sense.

38:27

Yeah. So you should kind of be able to do whatever you want.

38:29

Do you know what I'm saying?

38:32

Where it's like, oh, I thought, you know, this episode of Barry or this relationship with this person or whatever it is going to be this, but now it's this, do I like that or not?

38:42

You know, I have gonna, you know, I'm going to move on, you know, and just move forward and not taking it in this personal way, which is, which is hard.

38:53

And it's a thing, it's the same thing.

38:55

Like they, you know, it's like, it's, it's, it's like, you know, I learned like the thing with anxiety and depression and these sorts of things, it's like, it's a thing that comes, but it also goes, and it's the thing you're always like dealing with.

39:15

Yeah. So it's like the biggest thing that helped me with that stuff was Anna, how it helped in the work was acknowledging that.

39:26

And knowing that when you fight it, you make it worse.

39:31

So it's like, kind of like this weird acceptance.

39:34

That's like, so whether it is like you're saying like interpersonal relationships or work or whatever, and something goes horribly wrong or something, you're freaking out about the many trying to fight it, it becomes stronger.

39:49

But when you just kind of, there's a Buddhist thing of like, you take the narrative out of it, which I like.

39:58

So I'm so stressed out because this person I found out, this person lied to me, so I'm angry and stressed.

40:08

And so if you just take out the narrative and go, I'm angry and stressed, and then you just kind of sit with that, that kind of will dissipate.

40:17

You know what I mean?

40:20

And like, I use that in work and in life, you know, but I don't, but again, I don't want it to sound too, like, like, like this really hardcore lifestyle thing, it's a thing that's like free flowing.

40:34

You know, some, some situations you don't do it in and you go, fuck, I gotta go.

40:38

You know, everything is like, And

40:41

you make mistakes and you, you, you fall back and you realize, oh shit, I'm doing that thing that I've told myself for literally decades.

40:49

Don't do that.

40:50

You know? I mean, I find myself doing that where like, I got all this, all these fucking rules I've made and they're not even like necessarily rules.

41:01

It's. I mean, that sounds kind of too strict, but just like, okay, you know, you've learned a lot this to avoid these kinds of situations and to avoid doing this.

41:10

And then I'll be like, oh shit, I just fucking did it.

41:14

And you know, whether it's like allowing somebody to take advantage of me or, you know, you know, allow me to feel powerless or something.

41:27

I, you know, it's, it, it can, I mean, one thing I've been working on a lot, a lot lately is, is talking nice to myself after a lifetime of being you stupid fat fucking idiot.

41:47

Why don't you fucking, you know, stop doing these things and realizing, I mean, I said it to somebody on this podcast not long ago.

41:55

It's some, if somebody wants me to do something, if they're talk kindly to me, I'll do it.

42:01

If they talk mean and shitty to me, I'll say, fuck you, motherfucker.

42:05

I'm not going to do that.

42:07

So I was trapped in a cycle of that being like my own bad boss that I, oh, right.

42:15

I know I should be more efficient and productive, but fuck you, buddy, the way you talk to me, I'm not doing a thing, you know?

42:22

Yeah. It's true. It's funny.

42:24

It's funny. Just like the dynamics you have with people.

42:27

Cause then it's like, you know, it's like some of my closest friends and the people, you know, for a while, the ones you could be brutally honest with in a fun way, and you can be, you know, hard on each other, but it all comes out of love.

42:44

And then there's other people I've known forever and there's no way in hell you could do that because they're too sensitive.

42:51

And then there is people that I can, they can do that to me and I'm not sensitive, but then another person will do it to me who I've known the same amount of time.

42:58

And I'm way too sensitive where I'm like, well, what does that mean?

43:01

Wait, did I do wait, what did I do wrong?

43:04

You know?

43:05

And I have a friend that's their impression of me is always going, wait, what, what, wait, what did I do?

43:11

Wait, wait, are you mad? Are you mad at me?

43:14

Like I jumped to wait, did I do wrong?

43:18

Are you mad? Like so fast, but you know, and, and then yeah, it just it's a, It

43:25

was that born in here? Or do you think that comes from somewhere?

43:29

I don't know, man.

43:29

I, yeah, it might be.

43:32

I mean, it's funny thing.

43:34

It's like, when you go back home, you see it, not just in family, but just where you're from.

43:39

I mean, one Oklahoma are very like, you know, it's like the minute you get off the airplane, it's just someone going, sorry, you know, just a minute you exit the airplane.

43:50

It's just very Nice.

43:55

Don't want to rock the boat.

43:56

Non-confrontational but you know, they're still mad, you know, there's so it's still that, you know, that Midwestern passive aggressive thing, but you know, you just try to, you know, it's weird.

44:14

It's like everything, some of the things you used to get really riled up about, I don't anymore.

44:20

I kind of go on that doesn't really matter.

44:21

But now there's these newer things, get you more.

44:25

And then hopefully, you know, 10 years from now, I'll be like, oh, it was so weird.

44:29

I got mad about that shit. Now I have this new shit that I mad about.

44:32

You know what I mean? So it's like, it's always something rinse And

44:36

repeat until you're in the grave Next

44:39

that death Dead.

44:44

Well, speaking of the future death, is it, what are you most excited about or your future?

44:49

I mean, what do you got coming forward that you're like planning for?

44:53

And I mean, you know, long-term, doesn't have to be work.

44:57

Oh, I don't know. I, I I've gotten to this place when I was, you know, with, you know, as a young person, always wanting to be a director and a writer, and then this circuitous really amazing, you know, going through comp you know, performing SNL movies and, and learning so much along the way to now where I'm able to do it with, with Barry, it is this nice feeling of trusting your instincts.

45:30

And then, and, and I mean, in a, in an actual way, it's like, hopefully being able to make a movie, maybe one that I'm not even in, you know, just making a movie, but, but also just, you know, for the future is kind of like we're talking about is, is knowing yourself, understanding all the bad shit and the good shit of yourself and just acknowledging it and say like, okay, look, I could, in this situation, I can be very sensitive.

46:02

You know what I mean?

46:04

So I'm going to calm down or in this sense, I can be very defensive and I'm, you know what, I acknowledged that.

46:11

So let just be aware of it and I'm not going to change necessarily.

46:16

I could just be very hyper aware of it or I can get very anxious in a situation of, you know, whatever.

46:24

And so it's just knowing yourself and knowing like I could be directing an episode of Barry that is like, you know, we, you know, doing stunts and there's all this stuff going on and every, and I'm totally calm, but then I, I have to go to the airport by myself.

46:44

You know, The idea of missing a flight to me makes me completely insane.

46:54

I'm one of those people, I'm there like two hours ahead of time.

46:58

I don't care when they like, Hey, the flight's been delayed an hour.

47:03

I'm like, great. I'm here.

47:04

You know, I'm just w I, I first, you know, and you just like, you know, it used to be a thing that people would say, and, and you, I don't do that.

47:14

All right. You know, you get grumpy and it's like, no, I am that guy.

47:19

I'm, I'm a, I'm a pain in the ass.

47:22

I'm saying like the most, you know, whatever lighthearted things, the spectrum.

47:29

But

47:29

yeah,

47:29

it's

47:29

just

47:29

acknowledging

47:29

those,

47:29

the

47:29

thing

47:29

about

47:29

yourself

47:29

and

47:29

just

47:29

saying

47:29

like,

47:29

well,

47:29

I

47:29

get

47:29

like

47:29

this

47:29

where

47:29

it

47:29

used

47:29

to

47:29

be

47:29

like,

47:29

you

47:29

know,

47:29

I'm

47:29

not

47:29

like

47:41

that. Yeah. I'm S I'm common shit.

47:43

Look at me. They're like, dude, your face is fully.

47:46

You're sweating. Like, well, the first time I was on Conan, I had a full blown panic attack backstage.

47:52

Really? It was uncommon in full blown panic tech.

47:54

Yeah. It was in my dressing room.

47:56

The mark leap is, was a publicist at SNL.

48:00

And, and I just couldn't breathe and sweating because I'm like, I've been watching the show since I was 15 and I I'm about to be on it.

48:10

And I'm second guessed and, and seeing, you know, Connie, and you guys saying the next time we got bill Hader and it was just like, but you know, call right after this.

48:20

And they come in, they're like, all right, let's take you back there.

48:22

You know? And I just went, hold on, hold on, hold on.

48:25

Oh my God. You know?

48:27

And then after that happened, mark on, Hey, are you okay, man?

48:31

Is everything okay? I'm like, what do you mean?

48:32

What are you talking about?

48:34

What was okay. Yeah, I'm fine. What are you? What what's wrong?

48:37

Are you, is something wrong with you?

48:38

You know What

48:42

I mean? Now I just, you just vomited all over yourself.

48:45

Like when he's talking about, yeah, maybe you vomited all over yourself.

48:49

I bought this shirt like this.

48:51

Yeah. This was a new shirt, asshole.

48:52

It's all the rage.

48:55

It's called a keratin piece. It's a new designer line.

48:59

You know, this, you know this, but yeah, it is a thing where you can be in denial about that shit.

49:06

And then Is

49:09

that kind of, you know, this podcast, it's the, what have you learned?

49:12

Is that sort of what you think that, you know, you've learned the most of is self-acceptance.

49:17

Yeah. Self-acceptance for me personally was about anxiety and, and depression and, but mostly anxiety and, and accepting it and learning to work with it.

49:33

And everything just is able to breathe easier.

49:36

Cause you just know it about yourself, you know?

49:39

And you go, oh, that's what that is.

49:41

And just saying that makes it easier.

49:45

Yeah. Where before you would blame it on something else or you just wouldn't acknowledge it.

49:50

Yeah. For some reason, you know?

49:53

And so yeah.

49:56

Acceptance and, and then it's nice too.

49:59

Cause then you, you talk to like a family member and say, oh that's.

50:02

And I go, well, yeah, I do too, man.

50:04

We relate we're related.

50:07

Right? Right. Well, Belle, you're the best.

50:10

Thank you so much for taking some time for us today.

50:12

I appreciate your mental health. How valuable your time is and No,

50:17

I, yeah, man. Thanks for, thanks for having me, man.

50:21

All right. And I'm sure they probably being on this podcast will make a big difference.

50:26

You're this?

50:27

The people probably start watching Barry now.

50:30

I hope so, man tired.

50:35

I

50:35

know

50:35

I'm

50:35

as

50:35

whole

50:35

sick

50:35

of

50:35

people

50:35

going

50:35

like,

50:35

Hey,

50:35

are

50:35

you

50:35

in

50:35

a

50:35

show

50:41

called? Brian could be, if you want it, whatever you want, However

50:47

you want, what do you want? Do you want to Brian or George?

50:50

I'll do whatever you want. Sean.

50:51

I'll call whatever you want. Will you watch?

50:56

All right, bill. Thank you so much.

50:57

And, and let's get together soon.

51:00

I'll see you soon. All right, bye.

51:02

All right. And thank you all out there for listening.

51:04

We'll be back next week with another episode of most trace.

51:09

The

51:13

three questions with India, Victor, as a team Coco in your all production, it is produced by lane GoBig engineered by marina, PIs and talent produced by Khalisa Hayek.

51:21

The associate producers, Jen samples, supervising producer, Aaron player, and executive producers, Adam Saxon, Jeff rasa, team Coco and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at hill.

51:31

Make sure to rate and review the three questions at Andrew Richter on apple podcasts.

51:35

MailChimp is in the business of growing businesses. So no matter what stage you're in, MailChimp's smart marketing platform can help you grow and get your brand out So no matter what stage you're in, MailChimp's smart marketing platform can help you grow and get your brand out there. You're more than a small business and MailChimp's got more intelligent marketing tools to help you grow it. With marketing automations, design tools, and recommendations that all work together to help you sell more stuff. Mailchimp, built for growing businesses. Hi, everyone. You have tuned in to what is probably gonna be a really dull episode of three questions because I got a real turn on it. This guy this guy hides in he hides an impression because there's really nothing to do with him. He's an empty vessel. And if he's not doing a funny voice, he's basically staring at wall. That's right. It's still hater everyone. I do. Hi, Andy. I like to I like to introduce my guests to make them feel good. So I hope that made you feel good. Yeah. Hader me feel great. Made me feel very very seen. Now how are you? We're talking on a Saturday because I you're so bit are you shooting your show right now? You shoot Yeah. We're era shooting berry right now. We have about two and a half more weeks of shooting. Yeah. How is it? We is it It's been going good. Yeah. But we've been shooting since July and prepping since April. So Is there one those in the whirlwind? One of those productions where everyone's worked fourteen hours a day and fed only granola bars and No. No. No. I feel very happy that we're because I was a production assistant. So I've been, like, on those shows where you work for, like, eighty two days and stuff, and it stinks. And so, yeah, Gavin Kleintop and I eat a rogers and Alec Berg and I were all very we all started at the bottom in some place, so we're all very contentious and try to make it, like, if we go anything over a ten hour day where we kind of freak out. It makes a much difference. It makes a huge difference for people because I know I I was I went to film school. I was production you and I had very similar beginnings and show business in that way, except you actually were in LA doing it, and was in Chicago doing it. I mean, so mine was, like, kind of, I mean, like, my celebrities were, you know, like, Mike Dicca and and Michael Jordan. That's a lot that's the celebrity's I mean, that's pretty cool. I mean, it was It was pretty cool. Yeah. That's pretty rad. But -- Okay. -- but it is I do feel I will you know, through I worked with and I mean, through people who are my friends who when you have to wait for four hours, for some adjustment to be and and I have a very short, tempered friends who have been like, what the fuck is taking so long? And I always feel like, well, you wouldn't know. Would you? You don't know. You don't know. Yeah. Yeah. And it's and, you know, you yeah. You don't know what what everyone's been through and everyone's so tired and when, you know, we started out this week having to be at a location at four AM because the sun Hader we're shooting the sun coming up. Yeah. And then by the end of the week, you're shooting a night scene, you know, outside. So you have to get over tonights. And we we try not to shoot full nights. We try to make it split. So you're which means, you know, you you show up at noon and shoot until midnight to do some day work, some night work. But I've done those shows. I'm gonna be in a PA on a movie where we did two months of straight nights, you know. And that just it makes you insane. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No. I I yeah. When I was at PA, I remember I think there was one time when I worked thirty six hours straight because of -- Yeah. -- because of picking up gear, taking it to a location, prepping another location, wrapping out, you know, shooting all night, wrapping out the location, and returning all gear. And it's And it is like a a lot of what's going on now. It's it's funny because it's like you don't really at least I feel like throughout like a lot of kind of the evolution of the last fifteen, twenty years of kind of just politically aware, like, learning not to say certain words. And -- Yeah. -- you know, where you're like, oh, yeah. Right. I've been saying that word thoughtlessly my whole life, but -- Oh, yeah. -- I can see how that would be a problem. A hundred percent. Yeah. I feel like lately, with all the kinda talk about the the ATSI strike and stuff, it has made me think like Oh, yeah. Film production's really fucked up. But the Hader is that you play on this notion that you're lucky to be here you wanted this so bad and you know how rare it is to score a job in this industry. So shut up and do it. You know? Yeah. You it's very easy and I've been on those shows and I've had friends who've been on those shows where you know, you could be at the mercy of whether it's a producer who, you know, or production company that's gonna work really cheap and kinda do what you're describing, which is we're gonna cut costs and cut a lot of corners and do what should be probably two months of work and three weeks, you know, because it'll save us a bunch of money. Or something, or you're at the mercy of a director who, you know, needs their time and works eighteen, nineteen hour days And I've done that as a PA and as an actor. Yeah. And the funny thing is, in my opinion, I go watch those movies and I'll go watch something that I know was shot reasonable. And I see no real difference. Here's never at the time I go see one of those movies real hard and how long the hours were and I go, well, you know what? It really shows Yeah. I I it's just you're at the it's you're at the whim of of someone's process. Yeah. And III just think that's you know, gives them more if they need more time, then they need to spend the money to to add more shooting days It's not working anything over ten hours to me. You just stopped getting good work done after it's a moment. I understand. Everything's everything's working. I've always operated on the principle that especially if you're doing comedy, if you're regardless of what ends up on film, if it's a a group of miserable fucking people who don't wanna be there. Odds are. It's not gonna be very funny. You know, I mean, there Yeah. -- I of an alchemy, there's kind of a magic that needs to transfer from the fun of people making it to the fun of people watching it. Yeah. Yeah. Even like you hear like, and look, I, you know, I love some of Stanley Kubrick's movies, but you know, I remember being a film student, you know, a film I'm still a film geek, but in my twenties it was really romanticized version of these, these Even like you hear, like and look, I, you know, I love some of Stanley Cuprick's movies, but, you know, I remember being a film stew know, film I'm film deep into my twenties. Yeah. Yeah. This really romanticized version of these these directors and you would hear Stanley Cuprick did a hundred and fifty takes of Shelley Devaughn and Jack Jack Nicholson on the stairs. Years. Yep. And the shining. You know, I'm I'm gonna bash your brains in that scene because he wanted to get Shelly devolved this real sense of hysteria and all this. And, yeah, we thought that was so cool and that was being an artist and -- Yeah. And why it was so great. And then you start doing this as a job. And I've now, you know, you you I've been in horror I've been horror movies. I've been dramas, comedies, everything. And I've seen people do and I've seen Shelley De Gaul in other movies, do just that, and I bet there was five takes. It's cold acting. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because that's that's not koopa. That's not koopa, that's his ego. That's his -- Yep. -- I need that process. That's all about ego and stuff. And I mean, I I don't know. When when people it's bad when people you start hearing about their process, And you know more about the process or remember the process more than the work? Yes. You know what I mean? Yeah. And so and acting, directing, writing, you always hear that stuff. So it is funny. But that said, I mean, I watched The Shining was my oldest daughter not too long ago, and I still enjoyed it, but I was, like, I just don't wanna be on that side. I feel yeah. I mean, I think that, you know, like you said, on take ten, I bet Shelley Duval Duval, it wouldn't have affected our enjoyment in that county. I think she would never mind. And we would not we would not have that knowledge in our mind of, like, the fucking psychic, karmic damage that that caused, especially, like, to Shelley Duval who basically kinda got ruined. For filmmaking from that movie? I mean, argue. Yeah. Yeah. I just don't understand the as I get older and as you start doing it, you know, you'll see a great actor do something very similar like that. And Shelly to Vault is Robert Altman, who's between three women. Mhmm. I mean, she I'm great. Great actor. Yeah. And so I I never really to me that that was more, like, Again, it's like ego and -- Yeah. -- which Well, the idea that you hire a capable, known quantity professional person, and then decide in your mind, this person needs to be manipulated and controlled and treated like a the idea that you hire a capable known quantity professional person and then decide in your mind, this person needs to be manipulated and controlled and treated Yeah. Like a child that's fucked up. That's Yeah. That's that's your that's your that's your shit. That's your shit. That you're dealing with. And he didn't do it to Jack Nicholson and No. You know? And and and but you hear the other films you know, he tortured Malcolm McDowell on -- Yeah. -- clockwork orange and the, you know, and they the scenery has his eyes open and apparently Yeah. You got his eye. Really fucked his eyes. And and Kubrick said, we'll favor the other eye, apparently. When they're shooting it. And and you go, okay, that's nice. But it it it I've gotten to place where you hear those things and I I go, oh, that doesn't affect my enjoyment of the movies. You know, I still enjoy those movies. But I just wouldn't wanna work on them and, you know, you just don't need to Like, a lot people don't like Eyes Wide Shot. I actually enjoyed that movie. But I but when you hear, like, oh, yeah. They'd shot Tom Cruise entering a door for two weeks. IRA. Yeah. That's that's that's that's silly. Oh, it's silly. Oh my god. I can't even imagine. I've I've been on a good Why why did why did you wanna get into show business? What what do you think was it about I mean, just a a quick synopsis of your childhood, like, where you from and and how came dynamic was? And and how how business came out of that? I'm from Tulsa, Oklahoma, pretty, you know, average from Tulsa, Oklahoma. Pretty, you know, average childhood at two younger sisters My dad was he did he ran a restaurant when I was really young and then drove a truck for a bit, and then he ended up managing an airfreight company. Mhmm. And then my mom was, you know, the dance teacher and and things like that. So, I mean, but show business for me was you know, it it it was, like, completely unattainable. Like, the idea of being involved in any way and show business was like like, you know, like saying you wanna go to Mars or, yeah, you know, colonize Mars or something. It was just, like, this other thing, you know. So Something that people that you don't get to do? No. No. You didn't know anybody who did it. You never met anybody who did it. I remember the first celebrity I ever saw was we took a family trip to Hawaii and I saw John Learickett. By a pool. And I just went, oh my god. That's the guy from Night Court. Just seen a person. Yeah. Who I seen on television? That feeling? Or you go Yeah. Yeah. Oh my god. And but for me, it was always liking comedy, But liking all movies is, you know, loving old films. And from very young age wanting to be director, you know, noticing the the name, the director, and the credits, and seeing how each of them had a style and noticing that from a pretty young age. So very quickly, when I was still in high school, I would go to places where they shot commercials in Tulsa just to see how they did it and try to help out in any way. And then, like, what age? And then Like, fifteen. Oh, wow. Something like that. Fifteen sixteen. And then And I helped out in a couple, like, I think I worked on this one. You know, it's like they would shoot Philbrook Museum, you know, and they would bring in, like, a little EPK crew, and I was grabbing, you know, charging up batteries and grabbing everybody lunch and stuff like that. But I was around people shooting stuff, you know. I just thought it was so cool. And then and then Hader films with my sisters and friends. One of whom is a guy named Duffy Boudreaux who I've known since I was fifteen. And now he as a writer on Berry and producer on Berry. We've we've been really close and now collaborate and that's been nice. But Then I moved to Arizona for no reason. I don't know why. I literally just Most of just happens. Yeah. Yeah. They they don't know why they're there. What? That's why I had to do. I know Kim will Jimmy Kim will Hader so hard that I went out of state to go to community college. I did. I went out of state to go to Scottsdale Community College. Why? What was it what was it about that You know what it was? Oh, no. It was my grades were horrible in high school, and so I got The only thing to really go to that was filmed was a thing called the art Institute of Phoenix. And they had art institutes everywhere and so went to the one in Phoenix. Because I was like, well, it's closest to LA. Yeah. Yeah. And and they didn't care about grades. So I went there and then a friend of mine there said, hey, I'm actually taking classes at Skystar community college, and they're shooting film. They had all these area b l's, and they had flatbeds, and they also had a couple of Avids. And this is, like, nineteen ninety seven. Yeah. So that was, like, really cool and high-tech. And there's before this background video looked like video. Yeah. And So, yeah, I went up there and I I shot some short films, met some friends, some studio friends with today, and we we moved out to LA. June of nineteen ninety nine. And Well, how much how much of of this what what component of this drive to do this and this desire to do this is being a performer or or is it factoring in that much at all? Not Not no. It was never about being a performer. Being a performer came about very kind of by accident. I mean, I was in a couple of plays in high school, but that was mostly because my high school girlfriend was in the plays and is a way for us to hang out with each other. And then and then and then I started I took classes at second city, LA this before UCB or any of his second city LA and the ground lease. And the groundlands which had a waitlist for, like, a year -- Yeah. Yeah. -- just to take classes there. And then I O which is on Hollywood. And then and so yeah. I went to classes there. Did shows and things like that. And and it was solely as a way To shore up your directing, I'm shore up your directing? I'm sorry. I am. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No. Yeah. was solely just to be like, all meet some actors here and we'll make, like, short films and stuff like that and then get laid. Yeah. No. I was like, no. No. I was, yeah, I was, like, hi, everyone. No. I I've always Hader, like, girlfriend. So there's always, like, I'm gonna meet, you know, actors and make stuff. And then and then it became more about, like, well, why don't you be in this stuff? No offense, Bill, but yours, you know, we'd rather you were in it instead of shooting it. And then and then and then I got really lucky. Meghan Malachy saw me in a show. And said, you're really funny. I'm gonna tell Lauren Michaels about you. And that's I mean, I was I was working as an assistant editor on Iron Chef America. Well, Lindsay Shukas called me and said, well, Laura Michaels would like to meet you and I had no manager, no agent, no It's the story that everybody paid back. Reform. There's a native reform. Reform. Wow. And that's why I'm the story that is why actors hate me. It's like There's other reasons there's other reasons. Origin story. Yeah. They hate you for so many. I mean, look at you. 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I was like, oh, I'm moving to New York. I'm I'm losing my life. She's like, what? Wow. You should pay that guy to go to Africa every every few I know. God. It worked out great. You win an awesome. I what But the thing was though, when I got to send it live, I ended up working with these people that had much more experience than I theme was though when I got to send it live, I ended up working with these people that had much more experience than I did. And writing sketch comedy still was never like something that I was very good at. I think I was good at being in the room and saying, oh, I could do this or do I think I was good at being in the room and saying, oh, I could do this or that. But I very much needed writers -- Yeah. -- you know, whereas, like, the crew I came in with Andy and Sidakis and Kristen and Colin Joe's and, you know, the only the only guy is Brian Tucker. All these people were all really solid writers. You know, they could write to stuff. Fred could write stuff. Fraud harnessing could write his own stuff, you know. Mhmm. And I don't know if I return my my I don't know if I've opened, like, the the, you know, the program to write the scripts on my computer. You know? It was always John Milaney or Simon Rich or something like that, you know, Matt Murray -- Yeah. -- you know, America Sawyer, you know, people like that. I need I I was just I was the same way on the Kona show where, like, whenever I wrote something because I would sit in and, you know Right. And most of my writing on that thing was just be in there, going, like, this needs a new ending. What if we did this? And then, you know, like We yeah. And someone else would write it down. You know? Well, I remember and this is I remember just watching a documentary on the kids in the hall, and there's thing where they did a bit on Conan were and they were trying to figure out and you're in there and you go, oh, you know what could happen? And it was them getting, like, beaten up or something on common or something. in. They have a fake baby doll and they talk to the baby to secure Yeah. Yeah. They taught us baby security, but I remember it. Kevin McDonald getting hit in the back of the legs and -- Yeah. -- falling. But it was so cool for me to see that going, oh, yeah, that's how it is. Just like, you know, you're just it really is like there's it's no different than my friends when I we were around the lunch, but we were eating lunch at the cafeteria in high school. Yeah. It's the same kind of fucking around and and trying to get out of your head. That was the bigger thing at SNL. It was like, okay, Tuesday night, you have to have some you have to write something. Yeah. And it took me forever to just get out of my head and relax because that's when the good stuff comes. But when you're like, all right, I have to have something, you know, it always came up very forced and you know, shitty for a long But when you're like, alright. I have to have something. You know? It always came out very forced and, you know, shitty. You know? For for a long time, I mean, I was very Oh, the Rob Klein and John Solomon are two writers that my last season just I mean, those guys they wrote this ventricular checklist, this puppet sketch, but a guy named -- Mhmm. -- puppet class, and they wrote this other sketch where I was this very kind of a feminine firefighter who's screaming at somebody. And there's sketches that people still come up and talk to me about. And I'm like, that is that's those are I mean, it's just John and Rob being like, we wanna see Bill do this. You guys. Yeah. Yeah. There's so much that takes time. You have to kinda get everybody else to know each other. I mean, I was I was there for eight eight years by that point. You know? But, yeah, when I came in, I just remember going to UCB and watching ASKAT or something and seeing all those people up there performing and just doing improv and was like, oh my god. I Yeah. Someone's gonna tap me on shoulder and be like, what are you doing here, man? Yeah. When you got in. Were you like were you funny in your house? I mean, how did how did your family react when it's like, wait, what? But you knew you wanted to be in production. Filmmaker. Yeah. Yeah. But they didn't know. I mean, were they surprised or were I mean, or were they, like, oh, no. He's always been pretty funny and it makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. They I think they were like, yeah. You're I've always been pretty funny. You know, I've always been, like, a combination of, like, funny and, like, amiable and then but also, another side of me is very kind of shy and and hyper, you know, stressed out. Yeah. Yeah. And so I think they were I think it was combination of, like, oh, that makes sense. That's, like, live television isn't the worst environment for him. Like, he's gonna be He's gonna be a basket case. Yeah. I know. I mean, I'm sure that you figured out after a while it is like most performers are like a hilarious combination of need it, hate it, you know, like, like it need I mean, I'm sure that you figured out after a while, it is like most performers are, like, a hilarious combination of needed, Hader. Yeah. Like Yeah. -- like needed and then also, like, I'm terrified by it. And -- Yeah. -- you know, I I can't stand rejection, but I'm going into the most rejection in filled eclair of a business Yeah. -- and find. Yeah. Yeah. It for me, it was it for me, it was a thing of, like, the charge I got was creating a thing and seeing it to fruition. Mhmm. But because I was this movie fan, it had to be have the precision of of that. And that's that's what I enjoyed. And I think especially stand ups and and scared. I mean, the whole what's fun about it is it it kind of having a shaky landing or being loose and strange and this part worked and this part didn't work and and and having that confidence of moving with that, I would just rehearse something to with an inch of his of his life just because I just it it had to land it perfectly, and that and that caused a lot of stress. So they I was never someone that was like, oh, man, I need the that audience thing. You know, that that audience approval. It was more like I needed to be able to have an idea and and land it perfectly. And, like, and if it was, like, ninety nine percent perfect, I would lose my mind. I would just be like, I failed. You know? And You're talking about in SNL. Listen. At SNL. Yes. At SNL. And that and that by season four, that was when Lauren Michaels pulled me aside and said, you can work here as long as you want it. You really need relax. You know? You're just really keyed up. And then I've now seen other people now that I run a show. Like, I've seen people in the same positions -- Yeah. -- whether it's an actor, someone on the crew or whatever. And I'm like, oh, I know that. I see that where it's you're putting ton of pressure on yourself and and it doesn't just say, it doesn't help, and I'll say, like, dude, I've been there. You just gotta breathe and and and accept that it's no it's never gonna be perfect. Yeah. You know? So and now the irony is that, I think, some people, oh, now he's gonna you know, your directing stuff is gonna have this, you know, that OCD thing or whatever the hell it was. And and I don't because S and L knocked that out of me. Oh, that's great. Good. That's really Yeah. I'm much more relaxed of, like, okay. That now that's a different thing. Yeah. Right. Right. Right. You know, it it it was great for me in that case of of relaxing and and the biggest thing SNL taught me was how to make have a clear idea and make very clear, you know, decisive decisions and sticking to it because he just didn't time. Does that does that yeah. I mean, but yeah. That's how we said the Conan show was lane tracks for a train that you could hear coming. You know? Like, you don't have time you don't have time to worry. Like, is this grade or not. And me and they were people like Robert's or not. Robert's Michael. Is it like -- Oh, yeah. -- an amazing perfectionist and would be literally sometimes editing still doing editing tweaks on the piece as the band is playing the fucking intro music and they would feed it into the show. From the edit bay. They couldn't even get it to the control room. Yes. And and that was I I mean, to me, even in, you know, in my because I learned so much from him. That seemed to me like, I don't feel like that's probably efficient. You know? Yeah. It has a diminishing return, you know. Yeah. We have writers like that at SNL. Everyone writer I was playing Charlie Sheen when he had his kinda, like, meltdown during the whole, like, tiger blood thing. And it was a cold open, and I was so anxious. I was, like, shaking and, oh my god, it's cold open. Initially, it was just a sketch, and now it's a cold open. And and It was like, alright. Here we go. One minute. Thirty seconds. Everybody's getting quiet. Twenty seconds. Ten seconds when the writer walked out to me goes, do you wanna do the tiger blood joke or she would not do it? Oh. An actor's what? I go get away from me. He's like, I can't go I could still cut it. It's in the last half of the sketch. And I was like, get away from me. Get away from me. I'm I'm I'm I'm gonna attack you. Yeah. It's about to, like, you can't ask me that. Yeah. I'm radioactive. I'm radioactive. Because, you know, in their mind, it was like, well, we can always shift this around. I'm like, oh, you know, not now not now we're done. Yeah. You think that, that, that, that sort of acceptance of the, the imperfection of things and, and possibly the, the impact imperfection of things being the desired outcome, did that bleed over into your personal life you think that that that sort of acceptance of the that imperfection of things and and possibly the the imperfection of things being the desired outcome did that bleed over into your personal life too? Or is it just, like like, do you feel like -- Yeah. -- that experience helped you kinda accept life? Yeah. You know, it's a thing that happens where you've, you know, you when you're younger, I mean, it's kind of a thing everybody talks about, but true, and then it's really annoying when it's true is that you you are a bit more like I was saying, especially when, you know, saying, like, scrubber stuff as you romanticized stuff and you're very kinda idealist. And then as you get older, life gets very much more complicated. And then you realize stuff about yourself that you didn't know and realize how much, you know, the something you thought you weren't, you are, you know, or whether it's -- Yeah. -- I'm not I don't know. Like, I I never really considered myself an anxious person. I just thought it was pretty laid back, you know. And it wasn't so you know, someone's I think you need to go to therapist because I I think you have an anxiety disorder. You know what I mean that you're kinda going, no. I I don't. Like What? What? What do you mean? I just I just haven't slept for three days because I have to do a live show, you know, or whatever it is. And why I remember having feeling like I had the flu and I was going, oh my god, I Hader flu. I don't know what's going on. I went to a doctor and they were like, that's anxiety. It's like, it's a, you know, it it's like it knocks your equilibrium off and all this, you know. And and so it's like Yeah. Life gets a little bit more interesting in your relationships. You just I think it's just trying to live like a more honest life. And you are kind of more accepting, like you're saying of it's weird, it's this weird combination of being more accepting of life and you are kinda more accepting like you're saying of it's weird. It's this weird combination of being more accepting of people, but then at the same time, having less time for other people. We're just like, you know, that's bullshit. I I just don't -- Right. -- where I where I used to be like, oh, meaning, like, you know, my twenties and thirties, you would get into spirited you know, arguments about stuff. And now I just I just don't have the time or the inclination for any work. Just kinda like, I'm never gonna change your mind. You're never gonna change my mind. I can't I can't get involved in this. I'm just I just kinda go, oh, okay. That's how you are. This don't have a heart attack. This just makes me feel tired. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I just get tired But then at the same time, you know, I have children and it's like, I want them to have better tools than I Hader. You know, I could you know, there's I worked on it, but I could be very, like, defensive and -- Yeah. -- you know, or or you know, not hearing people immediately assuming something. You know? And I like, again, I can get into a thought cycle And then you have to go, is that really what even happened? You know what I mean? Yeah. Or is my anxiety and freaking out about it? Now this person slighted me in this way and blah blah blah, and then it takes someone else to go, then it that didn't happen, man. Yeah. That's not what I saw. It's not that not what I saw at all. And you're like, oh my god. Okay. Yeah. To just breathe -- Yeah. -- and listen. And keep on the fuck down, you know. Hader, Coco. I'm Jesse Gaskle. And I'm Mike Sweeney. And we Our writers for riders for Conan, and we're also the host of Inside Conan: Unimportant Hollywood Podcast. Guess what? We're coming back for our biggest season yet. We're getting listeners through 28 years of blade dive memories, starting from the very guiding listeners through twenty eight years of late night memories starting from the very beginning. Here are the inside story on some of Conan's most iconic late night moments. We'll be speaking with your favorite Conan writers, guests, and the man himself. Here's little taste of what we have in store. To me, it's a lifelong religious pilgrimage that only ends with my death, which is must keen. Going places and making nothing happen. I don't have any consequence. All of a sudden, it was like we were sort of on date. Literally every other person was looking at each other going, Chihuahua, what's going on? So somewhere in the archives of thirty rock, is my audition tape using the Conan paging form and wearing Conan makeup. And that helped me get the job. Yes. What the masturbating bear in any conception was folks who have been doing other than masturbating. And all these other appearances, you know, is left all these other appearances, you know, is left unsaid. You just heard Conan O'Brien Liza Palo, Brian, Jacqueline Br'er and masturbating bear You just heard Conan O'Brien, Liza Powell O'Brien, Jack McBrayer, and masturbating bare creator Brian Rich. Listen to Insightconan wherever you find your podcast. Cents. Can't you tell my loves the car when? Now. I mean, and then to kind of book and the other question, do you think that the coping mechanisms that you found in your personal life then help you in your professional life like I mean, and then then to kind of book in the other question, do you think that the coping mechanisms that you found in your personal life than help you in your professional life. Like, that these kind of like, that that that, you know, helping you sort of create a more whole calmer life also makes you create a more a whole calmer more elevated work. Well, what it does at least for me was the more I, you know, whether it was, like, for me, therapy, you know, I take medication, I do I do Iahuasca. Meditation, I do Iahuasca. I sacrifice various animals. Yeah. I steal things out of neighbor's yards, and I put in other neighbor's yards. I like to I like to pull the thread of society. Now but no. I I do TM, I meditate -- Okay. -- all these things that kinda like It's just acknowledging, like, oh, this thing that is a part of your personality is kinda like hurting you, which is weirdly what Barry's about. It's thing that you kind of feel like, oh, this is a natural part of me. That's also hurting me. Yeah. And But in doing that, you can, like, I could concentrate more on the work, and I'm I have much more clearer was what I'm trying to do and accepting what happens and then therefore I'm much more confident because you know it's not as people, as the world, as politics, all these other things, it's all imperfect. And at the end of day, it doesn't make a whole hell of a lot of sense. Yeah. So you should kinda be able to do whatever you want. Do you know what I'm saying? Where it's like, Oh, I thought, you know, this episode of Barry or this relationship with this person or whatever was gonna be this. But now it's this, do I like that not? You know? I'm gonna, you know, I'm gonna move on, you know, and just move forward and not taking it in this personal way, which is which is hard. And it's a thing it's the same thing. Like they, you know, it's like, it's, it's, it's like, you know, I learned like the thing with anxiety and depression and these sorts of things, it's like, it's a thing that comes, but it also goes, and it's the thing you're always like dealing like this, you know, It's like a it's a it's it's like a you know, I learned, like, the same with anxiety and and depression and these sorts of things. It's like, it's a thing that comes, but it also goes, and it's a thing you're always, like, dealing with. Yeah. So it's like the biggest thing that helped me with that stuff was Anna, how it helped in the work was acknowledging that and knowing that when you fight it, you make it worse. So it's, like, kind of, like, this weird acceptance. It's, like, so whether it is a rule like you're saying, like, interpersonal relationships or work or whatever and something goes horribly wrong or something you're freaking out about the many who try to fight it, it becomes stronger. But when you just kind of there's a Buddhist thing of, like, you take the narrative out of it, which I like. So I'm so stressed out because this person, I found out this person lied to me. So I'm angry and stressed. And so if you just take out the narrative and go, I'm angry and stressed. And then you just kinda sit with that. It kinda will dissipate. Mhmm. You know what mean? And, like, I use that in work and in life, you know. But I don't but again, I don't want it to sound too like like, a like, this really hard core lifestyle thing. It's a thing that's, like, free flowing. You know? Some some situations, you don't do it in, and you go, fucked. I gotta go, you know. Right. Everything else like and you make mistakes and you you you fall back and you realize oh, shit. I'm doing that thing that I've told myself for literally decades. Don't do that. You know? Yeah. I mean, I find myself doing that where, like, I got all this all these fucking rules I've made. And they're not even, like, necessary rules. It's I mean, that sounds kinda too strict, but just like, okay. You know, you've learned a lot to avoid these kind of situations and to avoid doing this, and then I'll be like, oh, shit. I just fucking did it. And, you know, whether it's like allowing somebody to take advantage of me or, you know, you know, allow me to feel powerless or something. You know, it's it's It it can. I mean, one thing I've been working on a lot. A lot lately is is talking nice to myself. Like, after a lifetime of being you stupid fat fucking idiot, why don't you fucking you know, stop and doing these things and realizing I mean, I said it to somebody on this podcast not long ago. If some if somebody wants me to do something. If they talk kindly to me, I'll do it. If they talk if they talk mean and shitty to me, I'll say, fuck you motherfucker. I'm not going to do I'm not gonna do that. So I was trapped in a cycle of that being, like, my own bad boss. That they are like, you know, I oh, right. I know I should be more efficient and and productive. But fuck you, buddy. The way you talk to me, I'm not doing a thing, you know? Yeah. It's true. It's funny. It's funny just like the dynamics you have with people. Because then it's like, you know, it's like some of my closest friends and the people you know for a while, the ones you could be brutally honest with in a fun way and you can be, you know, hard on each other, but it all comes out of love. And then there's other people I've known forever. There's no way in hell you could do that because they're too sensitive. Right. Right. And then there is people that I can they can do that to me and I'm not sensitive, but then another person will do it to me who I've known the same amount of time and I'm way too sensitive where I'm like, what does that mean? Wait. Did I wait. What did I do wrong? You know? You know, I have a friend that's their impression of me is always going, wait, what? What Wait. What did do? Wait. Wait. Are you mad? Where are you mad at me? Like, I jumped to, wait. Did I just didn't even wrongly mad? Like, so fast. Yeah. But, you know and and then yeah. You just it's a is that born in you, or do you think that comes from somewhere? I don't know, don't know, man. Yeah, it might be. I mean, it's funny thing. It's like when you go back home, you see it, not just in family, but just where you're from. I mean, people in Oklahoma are very, like, you know, it's like the minute you get off the airplane. It's just so ongoing. Sorry, you know. Yeah. Yeah. Just the minute you exit the airplane. It's just very non confrontational. Yeah. Don't wanna rock the boat, non confrontational, but, you know, they're still mad. Yeah. So it's still that, you know, that Midwestern passive aggressive thing. Yeah. But you know, you just try to, you know, it's weird. It's like everything some the things you used to get really riled up about I don't anymore. I kinda go, no, that doesn't really matter. But now there's these newer things. Yeah. I get you more. Right. Right. Right. And then hopefully, ten years from now, I'll be like, oh, it was so weird I got mad about that shit. You know, I Hader this new shit that I'm mad about. You know what I mean? So it's like, So we can't sing. Rents and repeat until you're in the grave. Yeah. Yeah. Next time, death. Yeah. Next time, death. Well, speaking of the future, death, is that what are you most excited about? Are you future? I mean, what do you got coming forward that you're, like, planning for. And I mean, you know, long term doesn't have to work. Oh, I don't know. I I I've gotten to this place when with, you know, with, you know, as a young person always wanting to be a director and a writer, and then this circuitous really amazing, you know, going through comp, you know, performing SNL, movies and and learning so much along the way to now where I'm able to do it with with Barry. It is this nice feeling of trusting your instincts and then And and, I mean, in a in an actual way, it's like hopefully being able to make a movie, maybe one that I'm not even in. You know, just making a movie. But but also just, you know, for the future is kinda what we're talking about is, is knowing yourself, understanding all the bad shit and the good shit of yourself, and just acknowledging it and saying like, okay, look, I could in this situation, I can be very sensitive. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. So I'm gonna commander in this sense that I can be very defensive, and I'm you know what? I acknowledge that. So let just be aware of it and I'm not going to change So let's just be aware of it. You know, I'm not gonna change necessarily. I could just be very hyper aware of it. Or I can get very anxious in a situation of, you know, whatever. And so It's just knowing yourself and and knowing, like, I could be directing episode of Barry that is, like, you know, we, you know, doing stunts and there's all this stuff going on and I'm totally calm. But then I Hader to go to the airport by myself You know, wreck. The idea of missing a flight to me makes me completely say. Right. Right. I'm one of those people. I'm there like two hours ahead of time. Yeah. I don't care when they like, the flight's been delayed an hour. I'm like, great. I'm here. Right. You know, I'm just I I first, you know, and you just, like, you know, it used to be a thing that people would say and and you guys don't do that. You know, you get grumpy and it's like, No. I am the guy. I'm a little I'm a I'm a pain in the ass. I'm I'm saying, like, the most, you know, whatever. Lighthearted things on the spectators. No. I know you know. But, you know, it's just acknowledging those that thing about yourself and just saying like, well, I get like this where it used to be like, you know, I'm not like that. Yeah. I'm S I'm common I'm I'm common shit. Look at me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like, dude, your face is fully you're sweating like well, first time I was on Conan, I had a full blown panic attack backstage. Really long and common full blown panic attack. Yeah. I was in my dressing room, the Mark Lipis, was a publicist at SNL and and I just couldn't breathe and sweating because I'm like, I've been watching this show since I was fifteen and I'm about to be on it and I'm the second guest and and seeing, you know, calling you guys saying, well, next time we got Bill Hader and it was just like, but, you know, come right after this and they come and they're like, alright, let's take you back there, you know, and I just went, hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Oh my god. You know? And then after that happened, Mark went, hey, are you okay, man? Was everything okay? I'm like, what do you mean? You talking about? What was it? Okay. Yeah. I'm fine. What do you put it? What's wrong? Are you? Is I'm wrong with you? Yeah. Fuck you. Fuck you. What do you mean? No. I just you just vomit it all over yourself. Like, what are you talking about? Yeah. I mean, you vomit all over yourself. I bought this shirt like I bought this shirt like this. Yeah. It's a new shirt, asshole. It's all the rage. It's called a carrots and peas. It's a new designer line. You know, this, you know this, but yeah, it is a thing where you can be in denial about that know this. You know this. But yeah. It it is a thing where you you can be in denial about that shit when you Yeah. Right. Right. Is that kind of the, again, of this podcast, it's the what have you learned? Is that sort of what you think that, you know, you've learned the most of, is that self acceptance? Yeah. Self acceptance, for me, personally, was about anxiety and and and depression and but most anxiety and and accepting it and and learning to work with it. And everything just is be able to breathe easier because you just know it about yourself. Yeah. You know? And you go, oh, that's what that is. And just saying that makes it easier. Yep. Or before you would blame it on something else or you just wouldn't acknowledge it -- Yeah. -- for some reason, you know. And so yeah. Acceptance. And and then it's nice too because then you you talk to, like, family member and say, hi, this and go, well, yeah. I do too, man. Will you? Yeah. Mike, yeah. Yeah. We're relate we're related. Right. Right. Well, Bill, you're the best. Thank you so much for taking some time for us today. I appreciate it, man. How how how valuable your time is. And No. Thanks, man. No. I'm not. Yeah, man. Thanks for Thanks for having me, man. This is all right. And I'm sure that probably being on this podcast will make a big difference. You're this the the people will probably start watching Barry now. I hope so. Yes, man. That would be nice. Tired of assailing my willingness I know I'm so sick of people going like, hey, are you in a show called Brian? Now give me if you want it. Whatever you want. Whatever you want. What do you want? You want Brian or George? I'll do whatever you want, Sean. I'll call whatever you want. Will you watch? Alright, Bill. Thank you so much. And and let's get together soon. I'll see you soon. Yeah. Alright, bye. All Alright. And thank you all out there for listening. We'll be back next week with another episode of Los Trace, Questionis. I got a big The three questions with Indivictor is a team coco annual production. It is produced by Lane Gurbik, engineered by Marina Pice, and talent produced by Galitza Hayek. The associate producer's Jen Samples, supervising producer, Erin Blair, and executive producers Adam Sachs and Jeff Ross at Team Coco and Colin Anderson and Cody for Sherritt here. Make sure to rate and review the three questions at Andrew Victor on Apple Podcasts. Can't you tell

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