Jonah Oliver is a world-leading performance psychologist he combines sports psychology and neuroscience to facilitate peak performance.
He has nearly 20 years of working in high performance from Olympians, executives, and professional codes (Brisbane Roar, Gold Coast Suns, Essendon), to car racing teams (Porsche – Le Mans World Champion, V8s), indigenous performing artists and surgeons.
Executive coach, author, speaker, and consultant on talent identification, leadership, and organisational performance around the world. Husband, father, entrepreneur.
2.30 - How do you navigate the car trip home after a sports game when your kid has strong emotions?
"Emotions tell us something, it's not ambivalence. They're not just sitting there. If there are emotions, it means they care. So they care about something like the performance, their teammates, your approval, their own standards, feeling competent or feeling incompetent, whatever it is, there's something there to listen to."
4.50 What is our role?
08.44 - Our fears as a parent. I don't want them to …
"Sport can be the greatest vehicle for learning about life in a safe way. Life is hard and how do you survive in the jungle if you're raised in the zoo? It's like sport needs to allow you to be exposed to failure to set back to I'm not as good as other people at some things that I need to solve this puzzle myself. "
11.15 - How do you get your kids to see your intentions for what they are?
15.40 - "What does success look like? And what is the intention behind it? If it's trying to protect them from failure because of your fears of them and what their life might be, if they don't succeed in that domain, then that's you. And you got to get the heck out of the way. It is a fun first mentality, just let them have fun."
20.00 - How do you help children identify and navigate self-doubt as a roadblock to them reaching their potential?
27.00 - How to motivate kids to do something they may not love but may be important?
36.00 - How do you deal with the "I want to give up"? How do you unpack and deal with that?
41.00 - How do we get our kids to recognise that effort and attitude matter?
"We want to build people with self-determination, a sense of competence, a sense of autonomy that they can do things of their own. They can build meaningful relationships with the world around them. They can take on the world and that they are enough in their current form."
"Our job is to create conditions for a fire"
47.00 - "Our kids are enough already, they don't need to win first place."
Let them grow into the version that they are and the different phases, we are there to nurture and support them.
Does my child look forward to/promote me being there?
54.00 - What's the world of social media, the dominance of that, the prevalence of that mental health struggles, and how do we help our kids?
"Do they have the skills to make good decisions around their own safety and, or advocating for the safety of others? Do they have the ability to understand morals and mores and all those things? And if the answer is no, they're probably still underdeveloped in that space then you absolutely have to withhold their exposure to it because any weakness or vulnerability your child has in normal life in those spaces is magnified on social media."
Limit the exposure as much as you can. It can set them up for long-term mental health issues.
"We look at the rapid increase and not just through overdiagnosis and misdiagnosis all that and remove all that from the science and I've done it well, there's been a massive uptick in the prevalence of mood disturbances in our children and it correlates almost identically with the introduction of the big social media brands."
1.01.00 - Final comments
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