0:01

There's something about going to a really great restaurant.

0:04

The journey there, the ambiance,

0:06

of course the food, and your

0:08

guest at the table. You

0:10

settle in together, maybe with a martini

0:13

or a glass of wine, and suddenly

0:15

it's just more intimate. You start

0:17

having these really wonderful conversations

0:20

over some delicious kimchi fried rice,

0:22

and I don't know, the next thing you know you're

0:25

opening up about meeting your husband in a gym

0:27

locker room. I swear to God,

0:29

we were clothed. Hey,

0:33

it's me, Jesse Tyler Ferguson. On

0:35

my podcast, Dinners on Me, I

0:37

do just that every Tuesday with

0:39

some of my favorite big-name friends, like

0:42

my Modern Family castmates, Julie Bowen

0:44

and Sarah Hyland. And then there's Fred

0:46

Armisen, Kristen Bell, Tracey

0:48

Ellis Ross, Jim Parsons, and so

0:51

many more.

0:52

Each week I have a candid conversation

0:54

with a new guest in a new restaurant, and

0:57

let me tell you, they're really worth a listen. And

0:59

you don't have to take my word for it, at least one person

1:02

with misophonia has given this podcast

1:04

a five out of five star rating on Apple

1:07

Podcasts. God bless

1:09

them. Another reviewer said the show

1:11

is, quote, candid, deep, authentic,

1:14

funny, and just real. I

1:17

mean, come on, how can you say no to that? So

1:19

just for you, I've got a clip of one of

1:21

my favorite

1:22

episodes with my on-screen niece, Sarah

1:24

Hyland. Over chips and guacamole

1:26

at West Hollywood's Gracias Madre,

1:29

we discuss my mutual love for my

1:31

husband, Justin Miquita, and

1:33

we also dive into her healthcare struggles

1:36

during Modern Family's run.

1:38

I feel like— I like guacamole, that's so good.

1:40

Isn't it great? This ain't fish. I know. That's

1:43

crazy. I'm taking Wells here. Yo, he'll come love

1:45

it. We should do a double date here. I'd love to. Sit

1:48

on the patio. Justin was just saying he's— I miss

1:50

Justin so much. You have to tell Sarah I miss her. I

1:52

mean, I knew we'd be friends regardless because I

1:54

love you and we have musical theater in common and we just, we connected very well.

1:59

on a very deep level,

2:03

and we're doing Modern Family together. But definitely,

2:05

we both have the knowledge, one of the reasons we are

2:07

so close is because you love my husband

2:09

so much. Oh yeah, my mouth is so full.

2:12

If we got divorced, I'm not fully confident

2:14

that I would win you in the relationship.

2:17

I would straddle, I promise I'd straddle. The

2:20

Spread Eagle, and that's what I would

2:22

do. I would go flow on Chicago for you guys. Yeah,

2:24

yeah, yeah, I love it. It's so

2:27

funny, because in your episode with Julie,

2:30

she was like, in a lineup, I don't

2:32

know if I would have picked Justin. And I was

2:34

listening and I was like, I would. Because

2:39

I used to date gay men, and

2:41

I'd be like, that one, I would wanna

2:43

date him, so I'm gonna put him with Jesse.

2:46

I love

2:47

that, I love the gaydar. Oh

2:49

yeah. Speaking of, when I first started

2:51

the show, obviously I was single, but you were, were

2:54

you living with your boyfriend at the time?

2:56

No, so I

2:58

remember, it was either the

3:00

day of, or the day before your first

3:03

date with Justin. You're filming

3:05

at Jay and Gloria's, what

3:07

it was, no idea. Okay. But

3:10

we're in the foyer of Jay

3:12

and Gloria's, and you come up to

3:15

me and you're like, I have

3:17

a date with a 23 year old. I

3:19

was like, I have a date with a 23 year old.

3:22

Oh my goodness. And

3:24

we both had dates that weekend with like 23. That

3:27

is hilarious. I was so excited,

3:29

I was like, oh my gosh, these

3:31

other guys were gonna marry, and I went on that one day and I was

3:33

like, absolutely

3:34

not. I hope this worked out with the 23

3:36

year old for Jesse, because it did work out for me.

3:39

That's so funny, you remember that. I do not remember

3:41

that at all, but that's hilarious. I will

3:43

always remember that. I'm sure there's a piece of me that was

3:45

like, okay, maybe this boy's too young for me if

3:47

Sarah and I are both.

3:48

I'm sure I probably

3:51

accidentally freaked you out in that moment being like,

3:53

me too. Even just hearing that

3:55

in retrospect, I'm like, oh my gosh, my heart palpitations.

4:00

We've all vacationed together. I feel like we

4:02

all, it doesn't feel

4:04

like I'm the old man of the group even though. Not at all.

4:07

I am.

4:10

My husband's older than your husband, so. That's

4:12

true, it's just a big hodgepodge of people

4:15

we love. It really, really is. Okay,

4:17

so certainly at this time in your life, things

4:21

are changing rapidly. You have this steady

4:23

work, you're on a show that's a huge

4:25

hit. I so appreciate how you say

4:28

you don't wanna be defined by your

4:30

health struggles. But this is also a time when

4:32

you were having a lot of health struggles. But

4:34

at this point in your career, you're going

4:36

through not only like early 20s, late teens,

4:40

which is such a tumultuous, weird

4:42

time anyways, figuring

4:44

out, you're dating

4:47

people trying to figure out who you want in

4:49

a partner. And then on top of that, dealing

4:51

with something that is not

4:54

only putting you in a tense amount of pain,

4:56

but also changing the way you look in

5:00

a period when you are on the hottest

5:02

show on television, let's just face it, it was like, we

5:04

were on a five,

5:05

five Emmy's in a row streak. Crazy,

5:08

but it's like all eyes were on us.

5:10

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, can you

5:13

talk a little bit about what that felt like? Also,

5:15

I know you've had these conversations so many

5:17

times with so many people. To have

5:19

this conversation with someone who is in that space

5:22

with you, I just

5:24

hope that, you know, I'm here to take care

5:26

of you, and I don't want you to feel like I'm exploiting

5:29

this moment of your life, because it's something I know that

5:31

was really hard for you to go through. But

5:33

what's that like for

5:34

you? I mean, I remember there was a day

5:36

on set, I

5:41

think I was in rejection

5:43

on dialysis, and I was in just

5:45

an extreme amount of pain. And

5:49

so I just kind of like, they were like

5:51

relighting something, and there wasn't enough time to

5:53

go back to my trailer, but

5:55

I also like could barely move. So

5:58

I found a little corner, I sat in a chair.

5:59

in like Jay and Gloria's kitchen. Why are we always

6:02

at Jay and Gloria's? We've shot a lot of scenes there. We feel like

6:04

so much stuff. Anytime there's a family scene, we're almost

6:06

always at our house. Yes, exactly. And so,

6:09

and I was just kind of curled up into

6:11

a ball and you came up to me and very

6:15

lightly touched me on the shoulder. Cause

6:19

I felt like everybody at that time thought like, if

6:21

I even breathe on her, she's gonna break. And

6:23

you were just like,

6:24

can I get you anything? Is there anything

6:27

you need? I'm here for you. And

6:30

me being the, you know, oh,

6:33

I'm independent and I'm so strong and I

6:35

don't need anybody. I was like, no, I'm fine. I'm

6:37

fine. Just, I'm fine. Everything

6:39

is gonna be okay. And

6:42

it just like, I just want to

6:44

let you know, like how

6:46

appreciative I am for that. Cause I know

6:48

in the moment, I was probably

6:51

very cold in

6:53

that place, but it was also like a protective

6:55

of like, if I expel any energy and

6:59

even energy of gratitude to a person that

7:01

I love so dearly, that's gonna take

7:03

away from this

7:06

trying to freeze myself in this moment. So

7:08

I don't feel any more pain than

7:10

I already do. So I want you to know that

7:12

like anytime you did any of that,

7:15

I was always so appreciative of it. I

7:17

think what it goes back to is what you

7:20

were talking about before, is just that workhorse

7:22

mentality that comes from

7:25

my parents of, you

7:28

don't know when the next job is going to be and you always have

7:30

to work hard. And if you don't

7:32

work hard and if you complain,

7:36

you get the boot. So for

7:38

me, if I ignored

7:40

how I felt, most

7:44

definitely not healthy. Please don't

7:46

do this for anybody out there listening.

7:48

This is just how I got through something. If

7:51

I ignored or tried to

7:53

set aside my pain and just

7:56

forge ahead, that

7:58

was the only way that I knew. how and

8:01

that was the only, honestly

8:03

that was the only way that I was going to be able to make

8:05

it through anything was just you

8:07

work and you just constantly work and

8:10

you constantly distract yourself with work

8:13

and that's it. For me

8:15

it's, I don't remember a lot of filming

8:17

and because I was always focused

8:20

on essentially just surviving and knowing

8:22

my lines and being there 100% when

8:25

they yelled action and then immediately

8:28

collapsing when they yelled cut.

8:29

When Modern Family was

8:31

hitting and this was advice from either

8:35

mostly from friends of mine who had been through

8:37

similar experiences like Sean Hayes and Will and

8:39

Grace or I was friendly with

8:41

Matthew Perry who was on Friends

8:44

because my friend had stating him at the time. Almost

8:46

all the advice I got was just remember every

8:48

moment and really take it all in but

8:50

there is that thing where it's like you

8:53

weren't, you literally weren't incapable of

8:55

it. You weren't, you had to self preserve.

8:59

I remember a day when we were shooting

9:01

and we were, it was, I don't remember the specifics

9:03

of the scene and you might not remember it because I

9:06

think you were in an intense amount of pain that day but

9:08

we were pushing a car.

9:09

Oh my God, I remember that so much,

9:11

I had gout. You had gout. I

9:14

was on dialysis, I had gout, it

9:16

was. That's right, you had gout and I remember

9:18

you were wearing a high heel shoe.

9:20

Yeah, they put me in high heels. That hadn't

9:22

been established by the way. Those heels had not

9:25

been, I feel like I got cabbage on my nose, sorry.

9:29

For the listeners out there, I was rubbing my nose. You were rubbing

9:32

your nose pretty intensely. It was very intense. You

9:34

do not have cabbage. They had not established my outfit

9:37

yet and they insisted that I was wearing heels

9:39

and I legit, there are pictures on the

9:41

internet of me like in crutches. Well, we

9:43

were pumperomics that day. Yeah,

9:45

I had gout because they had put me,

9:47

I was retaining so much water, they put me on like

9:51

water pills or whatever it was and

9:54

because I was put on that, I got gout in my foot

9:56

and it was the most excruciating thing.

9:59

So vividly.

9:59

Again, I don't remember the scene, because I think I was

10:02

so concerned about you.

10:03

There was something on the windshield. I

10:06

was trying to rip it off, and I was pushing it. We

10:08

were pushing a car. Yeah, because you were

10:10

up

10:11

there. There was someone up the sunroof. Okay,

10:14

see, I don't remember any of that. There's something. I'll

10:16

have to go to the tape. Thank God we recorded it. Let's roll the

10:18

tape, people, on Instagram. Play the clip.

10:23

All right, I hope you enjoy. And

10:26

I hope you'll also join us every Tuesday for

10:28

a new episode of Dinners on Me. And

10:31

if you're feeling extra fancy, you can subscribe

10:33

to Dinners on Me Plus. As a subscriber,

10:36

you not only get access to new episodes

10:38

one week early, you'll also get to listen completely

10:40

ad-free. Just click try

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10:45

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free trial today. All right,

10:50

bye now.