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Brought to you by the EveryDollar app. Start

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budgeting for free today. My

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brother-in-law recently died in his

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sleep and my sister had passed

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away in 2019. When

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their children met with the insurance

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company, they found out my oldest

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son and I were named as

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beneficiaries. I think this

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may have been an oversight because the children

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were minors when they got the policy.

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They still will get an IRA, a house,

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a car, etc. The

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kids are pressuring me to sign over

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their money. It would

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help to hear from someone not close to

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the situation, what should I

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do? Well

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I think you need to make

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a decision of was this an

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oversight. If

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it was left to you to take care of

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them when they were minors and they're no longer

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minors and he just

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hadn't been diligent with his estate plan

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and fixed his beneficiaries, then

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you are saying you accidentally did get

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money that was intended for them. If

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that's the case, I would give it to them. On

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the other hand, that's what it

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sounds like, but if there's another

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scenario that's like, okay, he

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wanted to leave us some money and he

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used the policy to do that and he

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very clearly intended to do that and

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they just feel like they're entitled to it just because it

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was their dad and mom, but dad

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and mom had a very clear

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intent to leave it to us, then

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they're just up a creek. You're not entitled

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to anything because you're kin. It's

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not their money, but if

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you truly do believe what you said that

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you think it's an oversight, then

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on a moral basis, I'd give it to

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them. For option three, maybe

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these kids are hurting. Obviously, they've been through a lot the

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last few years. years, but if

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they're running to their aunt

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saying, give

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us our money, maybe there was some anticipated

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immaturity and we

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want you to do what's right with this money, this best is

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going to love these kids. Maybe not, but man. Yeah,

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I mean, again, I think you need

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to decide what your brother-in-law and your

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sister's intent

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was. Legally,

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you can keep the money. It's

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not their money. Legally, it's your money. No

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question. Nobody's going to argue that. No court's

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even going to look at this. They'll dismiss it in 30 seconds.

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It's your money. It's in your

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hands. If you think

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that it was a mistake, it was

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an envelope mailed to the wrong address

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and you do feel like it's rightfully

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theirs, then I would give it to them. It's

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what I would do in that situation

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you're asking. Again, though, on

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John's point, option three is the

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parents felt like the kids were too immature to handle this money and

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we don't even know how much it is. You didn't tell us life

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insurance money, so I'm guessing it's north of 100 grand, but mom

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and the parents left it to you because they thought the

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kids were going to mess it up. They

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should have left it into a trust instead, but they didn't. They

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left it to you and left you in an awkward position. You

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can handle it like you think they want it handled,

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which would be to dole it out slowly to the

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kids, like they might have done if it was left

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in a trust. That's a good point, John. You could

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do that. Let's

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see here. I think this might have

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been an oversight because the

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children were minors when they took out the policy. That's

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what I'm going on. Right.

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I'm just thinking of my family members and

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if I have

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a niece and a nephew, one of

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which is doing great, one of which is

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really struggling, and I know that my brother

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or sister, were they alive, would treat this

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differently and they gave me the money. I'm

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just thinking out loud here, but maybe I might say

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no for tuition. Yeah, but not for

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your Mm-hmm, and I'm

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not gonna not for your life challenges Yeah, I'm gonna take

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you I'm gonna take care of

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you like they would have there you go And I'm

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gonna love you well, and you may not like that.

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Yeah, but if you don't like it. I don't care

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It's not you're not in control here. I'm in control.

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It's in my control to do whatever but you can

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decide What was the what I

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would go with is what your brother-in-law and your sister's

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intent was if you think you if you think you

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can Anticipate that was it to you

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was it to take care of this and manage it

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for these immature adults or was it

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to was it? Just they screwed up and never

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made the beneficiary change that simple And

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I don't know I can't you

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said in your email that you

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thought it was An

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oversight and so that's what I'm going on

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guys this this is why you go to mama

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to bear legal forms comm and you get a

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will and By

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the way When

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you die The state

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that you're living in Will

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do the probate not

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the last state you lived in when

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you did your will at the other state So

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when you move to a different state when

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you go through a major life change you need to update

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your will when the kids grow

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up you need to update your life

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insurance policy and change the beneficiary and You

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got to keep up with this stuff And

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so, you know, this is what rich people

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do They take care of

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the money. So the lawyers don't get it in

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some argument About

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something because they take care of business And

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so I'm sad for the loss

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of your brother-in-law and your sister. I'm sorry for

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that But their job was to not have this

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mess Your job is not

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have this mess people your job is to get a

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will in the state that you

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live in in the family Situation that you're in.

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So as soon as your spouse passes away,

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you need a new will in the

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state that you live in. As

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soon as you move

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or you get a divorce or the

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kids grow up, we had

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one set of estate plan before

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when our kids were minors. When they were no

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longer minors, we changed the estate plan and had

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a new will done. So go

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to Mama Bear Legal Forms, go to your estate

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planning attorney and get this stuff done. This

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is how families end up not speaking

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to each other. My aunt ripped me

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off. She took all that money that

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Mama gave accidentally because Mama didn't fix

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it. A bunch of

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freaking rednecks. I can hear

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it now. I've grown up with them my whole life. Shut

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up. It's just white trash. Shut

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up. Don't be arguing about

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money. Love your family. Take care of

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your family. If you're gonna

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cut somebody out of the will, tell them while

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you're alive. Let them be pissed off

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at you while you're walking the earth. Don't

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leave it on somebody else to get pissed off at.

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So you're not mad at my aunt

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because she executed the will

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exactly as it was supposed to be

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executed and was written. She's the executor

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of the estate, which by the way

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means execute. That's what it means.

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You have to do what the will says.

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The will says you didn't get any money

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so you're mad at your aunt. That's dumb.

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You can be mad at your mama's, what

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you need to be mad at. She's dead

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but she's the one screwed you out. Not

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your aunt. Your aunt has to do exactly

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the way it is. So you folks if

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you're gonna do that stuff do it while

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you're alive. We have a full-on estate planning

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meeting that goes two hours every year. Basically

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if Dave dies this year this is what

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it looks like. It's all laid

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out for the whole company. Leadership,

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publicity plan, traffic

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control, everything. It's all discussed.

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It's ridiculous because I

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love my family so much that I

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don't want them in a situation like

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that to have to deal with crap

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that I... I was supposed to deal with when

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I was alive. That's

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called doing a will. Did

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I get fired up about that? No, I'm

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kind of waiting to hear what you really think about the whole thing. Just

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so people know, this is not academic,

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I had an opportunity to get a will done

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by one of the great wills

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and trusts professors in the country, Jerry

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Beyer, walked me through it, did

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my whole thing in Texas, and then I moved.

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One of the first things we did when we got to

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Tennessee was mama bear wills, and we did a will there.

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It's not going to do my whole estate

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plan all that, but I had to have

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something on paper that

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is valid in that state because I'm a responsible parent

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in the state. State planning is

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state law, probate law, is state

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law. It's not federal law. Louisiana

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law is way different. It's

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French based. California is

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way different. It's granola based.

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I'm telling you, the laws in these

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states are dramatically different, so you need

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to do a will in the state

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you live in right now. Create

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your free every dollar budget today,

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the simplest way to budget for your

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life.