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Hey there and welcome back to

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the One when it's Possible podcast

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with Hannah Crowley . This is your

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host , hannah Crowley , and we

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are on episode number 20

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. We're just going to dive

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right into today's topic , which

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is about the reasons we

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do something , more specifically

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, the energy or

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the driving motivation behind

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goals . So

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we just entered a new month , right

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, hello , october , it's

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the final three months of

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the year . We're in the fourth quarter . Well

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, I guess , yeah , fourth quarter

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, the final three months . You

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might have set some goals . I know

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I certainly did , and

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this is a topic I wanted to have

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a conversation about because I

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see it with my clients and the people

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around me , and I've also

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seen it in my own goals the

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energy behind the

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goal , or what you're using for

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your goal , really does

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matter . So when I

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say the energy of

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our goals , I'm referring

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to the motivation , determination

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, the enthusiasm

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that we are investing

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. The energy behind

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the goals is

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the driving force behind our

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actions and decisions , and

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it's a feeling , and

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the reason it matters is simple because

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the stronger the energy behind your goals

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, the more sustainable energy

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behind them , the more likely

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we are to actually achieve them , but

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also the more likely we are to want

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to keep going and to feel

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good in the process . It's

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kind of like fuel

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for a car . You're

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going to need to be able to tap into

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that energy and

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you're going to definitely need to keep producing

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more of it to keep going . So

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if that energy that is

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fueling your goals is coming from feelings

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of unworthiness

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or hating

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how you look and you have like self-criticism

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and judgment or disgust for yourself

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, if it's coming

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from thinking you are going to be a better

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person once you've arrived there

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or you'll be more lovable

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, more likable once you get

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to the goal , if the energy

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for the goal is coming from a lack or

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your reason for having it be your goal isn't

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actually even your own , like

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somebody else's that's put on you

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, it becomes hard to keep going , to

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keep working consistently towards it

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, because , like fuel

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in a car , you

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keep needing more . If

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you've tried to work on your goals

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from this place , like this kind of energy

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, it can be why you maybe

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never got there fully

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or felt like you got there . If

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you've had the same goal for

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over a decade , that's

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a good indication to look at what was fueling

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you in that goal . Or

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if you did physically

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achieve the goal like , I think , like a weight loss goal

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. If you actually lost the weight , it

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can be a reason that it didn't

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feel the way you thought it would

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, or even feel

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like you actually got there . It's

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totally a reason people burn

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out and

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or self-sabotage

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. It can totally even

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be hard on one's mental

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health , like you could

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create problems because

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it's not a sustainable energy

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source . It will feel exhausting

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. I

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have seen over and over again people setting

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a goal to lose weight because

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they think their life will be better when they are

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thin or they'll be more lovable

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when they are thin and

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they criticize and

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bully themselves into taking

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action , only

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to end up self-sabotaging

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and then even giving up for

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a period of time before

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they try again because

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really it came down

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to needing a break from themselves

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. Just like fuel

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for a car , whatever

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you're using to motivate

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yourself , you

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are gonna need more of Right

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. So if it's self-crisis

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and judgment , you're gonna keep needing more of that

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. So it totally

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can feel hard when

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you have someone in your head belittling

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you , bullying you , telling you

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mean things all the time . Of

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course it makes sense

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right that somebody would stop

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and need a break from themselves

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. When you have

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the kind of energy for your goals that come from

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inspiration , though , or

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love , a desire

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maybe it's a desire to feel

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better , but desire

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, curiosity , maybe

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, to see what's possible to

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do , willingness

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to try something

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different , to get something different . When

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you have that kind of energy , it becomes

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so much more sustainable

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and even exciting

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. To keep going , to

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keep refilling , it doesn't feel

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as exhausting . The

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truth is , we do things because of how

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we think it's going to make us feel so

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. Also , it's

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good to know that that feeling is

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available at any time , and

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if you can start to intentionally

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practice feeling that ahead

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of time as

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you're working on your goals , it

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actually becomes so much more likely

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to achieve the

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goal that you want and then feel like

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it feels like you got there . It

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feels the way you wanted it to feel

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. It's really

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such a more enjoyable process

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overall . So I'm sure

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you've heard the phrase you can't hate

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yourself into loving yourself . It

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makes sense , right ? So

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if that's what you want to feel about yourself

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, you have to start practicing

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that from day one . Side

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note you're also not

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going to be able to receive fully what you won't

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give to yourself If

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you're doing something for outward validation

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, like you're trying to lose weight because you think that other people

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like you but you don't really like you

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. You never really are going to feel that until you give

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it to yourself . Okay , so

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that was side note . I think

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with a goal to lose weight

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or get into shape , it's

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not to say that not liking how you look

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doesn't get you going , because that's some

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pretty good fuel

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, right ? Or not liking

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how you're being , it's

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just not to say that doesn't motivate change . It

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can totally give you a kick in the pants . That's

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actually one of the reasons I personally got started

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at fitness . And

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when you become sick and tired of feeling

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sick and tired , you kind

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of get sick and tired of your own behaviors

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. That can really start a shift

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. But that in and of

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itself is different

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than doing it because

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someone else doesn't like the way you look . Doing

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it because you should be quote

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, unquote , should be or

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doing it because you think you will be more likable

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or more worthy if

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you do it . I

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got started from a place of

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not liking . Where I was

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, I

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was really uncomfortable in my own skin

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, but at the roots

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of it I wanted

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better for myself and

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I wanted to give better to the

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people around me , which

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I knew feeling better . Liking

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the way that I like showed up would

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help that I

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had a desire to be my best version

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of myself , so it wasn't actually hating

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on myself as it was

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knowing I actually could

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do better , I was capable

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of doing better , and that definitely

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became the most abundant fuel

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as I got started

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and kept going . I

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have really been going deeper

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lately in personal growth and

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self-acceptance is one of those things I've

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been really like diving

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in on , and this

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self-acceptance can be a

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hard one for some people to grasp . So

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if that's you , you're definitely an

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alum . I rumbled with this one , too

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, until I really understood

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it , cause we think if we accept

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it , we won't change

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it , or is some

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kind of version of giving up , like

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if I accept myself , I'm giving

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up , which is really just a misconception

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, because self-acceptance

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it's not giving

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up or settling or even not being

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real about the situation . It's

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also not saying I'm okay

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with this situation or

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you're just trying to be okay

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with the situation when it's not really

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. It is

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acknowledging the way

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things are literally

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right now , and

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while we don't have to like it

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at all , it's

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like this is what I'm dealing

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with , this is where I'm at , this

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is my current reality To

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not accept . It is

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like arguing with reality

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and it's like resisting

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what is , which

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makes it hard to take action . Some

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things we can change and some things we might

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not be able to , but

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it's like looking at it for what it is

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and then deciding now

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what do we want to do ? It's

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a way to take action and go forward

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, instead of fighting it

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or avoiding it or arguing

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that we shouldn't be here . Maybe that looks

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like someone that has some way to lose , like

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saying things like I shouldn't have let myself

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get here , I shouldn't have to deal with this , and

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just like arguing with it and not accepting

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it . To accept

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what is creates new energy to

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put towards making changes and

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it creates forward movement

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, and I just

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wanted to share that because I think

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that Self-acceptance

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can be great energy

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and so healing . Really , when you use

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it for your goals , you can totally

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refuse to let something define you

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, while also accepting

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what currently is . It's like you can accept

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what is and also decide . This

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is not how my story continues

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, right ? Does that make sense

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? So how do you check

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in and know what your energy is for

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your goals ? Well , I think

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you can start by asking yourself why

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you're doing what you're doing . Why

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is it a goal ? Why

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is this important to you

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? What will

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this bring to you ? What will it bring

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in your life ? I think it's a good question

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to also ask yourself do you actually

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want to do this ? Do

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you actually want this as a goal ? Is it somebody

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else's goal ? Do you think

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you have to do it , and

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why ? I think all

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these questions you also can

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ask why and and keep

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asking why and you'll uncover some

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some really powerful stuff . Also

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, another question , like do you believe you can do

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it Now

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? If you're asking yourself and

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you're saying , I don't know , that's

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also something to consider too

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. Like I do not know why you're

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doing something right . So

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, bottom line , if you like your reasons for doing

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something freaking , do it , and

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it's probably good energy , but

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do you . But do take the time

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to get to know what is driving

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your goal . And if

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you can get to the more sustainable

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fuel for your goals , it's going

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to help you so much more in getting

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where you're going , maintaining it

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, and it will be a more

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, a much more enjoyable process

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. So that

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is what I have for you today

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. I'd actually love to hear

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your thoughts on this . Come find

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me on Instagram . I linked it in the show

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notes and let me know what you think or

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if you need coaching or support

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on this . I got you there too

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, so connect with me over on Instagram as well . I

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can't wait to talk to you about it , and

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until next time , can

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we just go make the

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impossible possible . Okay

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, have an amazing

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week .