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acast.com. This

2:03

episode is dedicated from Thomas Cardona

2:05

to Amanda. Thanks for

2:07

showing me the wonderfully eldritch horror that is

2:09

TMA. I can't wait to go

2:11

down the rabbit hole even further when we terrorise

2:13

our friends with it too. I

2:20

should have said this

2:22

before a first

3:34

a lee

3:47

left couple

3:50

left There

4:00

you go. Oh, you spidana. Why did

4:02

you find that? I've learned

4:06

that keeping my fazbier sound at the break room cupboards is a quick wait a

4:08

minute. What? Oh no, you don't have

4:10

it. It's all good, Vivi. Vivi, take the

4:13

teabag. I'm all for it. Thanks. I

4:15

owe you. Notice. Uh... I'm

4:18

sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm

4:21

sorry. I'm sorry. I'm

4:23

sorry. I'm sorry. I'm

4:25

sorry. Notice. Uh...

4:28

I'm sorry. Any... What

4:31

do you maybe hear and want to go out and grab a cup of tea? Me

4:33

sometimes. Tea? Oh, coffee. At

4:36

least. Oh, no, sir. I mean, you

4:38

don't have to, obviously. It's really good.

4:40

No, I'd like to. It's just your business.

4:43

No, what happens? I don't know. I don't know. I

4:46

don't know. I don't know. I don't

4:48

know. I don't know. I don't know. I

4:50

don't know. I don't know. I

4:53

don't know. I don't know. Well,

4:55

actually, yes, but I'll go to the market

4:57

now. I can't get it. I

5:00

don't know if you can find it. What

5:02

is it about all the people in the market? I

5:05

can't get it. He

5:07

did it. Hey,

5:10

no worries. That would be nice

5:12

to know if you maybe managed to get

5:15

involved. Yes, I did. I'm

5:17

not sure. I just wanted to know if you guys

5:19

can get involved with

5:21

me. You know, you

5:23

can form a... yeah. Yeah,

5:25

that works. Cool. See

5:30

you later. Yeah. Do

5:32

you really think that... What?

5:39

What? Just get

5:41

into it. I'm sure. I don't

5:43

know what you're thinking about. Maybe. I

5:48

was just wondering. I'm

5:50

trying to say, oh, I'm

5:53

sorry to be a bother, but you and I...

5:57

It's not too much trouble, isn't it? I

6:00

just had a quick wave, knew it through digging through

6:03

a little bit of river and I was like,

6:05

we don't know what to do with the game.

6:07

It's only here that you still have people out there

6:09

who are just losing their shit and stuff. But

6:12

it works to the new TV. Cinderbird

6:14

has paid to you in the office right

6:16

now passing a fine, fading off the cinder

6:18

print and booking a one-way flight to Costa

6:21

Rica. You want to tell us? No,

6:23

I just did it. Oh, yes. I can't

6:26

believe I'm missing out on all the jokes. What

6:29

a stanker. Listen,

6:32

I just... Hmm? Huge.

6:35

For what? For coming with me to

6:37

the Institute, even though you knew it was going to be a

6:40

waste of time. A waste? I

6:42

knew it. Yeah, don't

6:44

worry about it. Mm-hmm,

6:47

not really. It is

6:49

not a little bit physical. I'm just waiting for you

6:51

because I'm too scared on time. When

6:53

either way, I'm a little bit physical master

6:56

for all the food you're willing to eat.

6:59

I think I'm not a fan. I'm

7:06

doing a post-apocalyptic email with the

7:08

telephone from the Master's Institute where

7:11

you can monitor these interesting stories.

7:14

You can be like this. Yes.

7:19

Good. You don't know, do you? I just want to

7:21

check the plane. Oh? Come

7:24

on. So now that's just focused

7:26

on getting you as jagged and as pathetic as

7:29

possible. I'm sure. Yeah,

7:31

well, we don't always get

7:33

what we want, do we? Yes.

8:00

Policy type. Employers liability.

8:04

Site address. Soho Jacks. 9 Carlisle

8:07

Street, London. W1D. 3BK. Affected

8:12

employee. Ms. Jordan Bennett. Date

8:15

of incident. 9 March, 2024. Incident

8:19

location. On site. Documentation.

8:22

Crime report. Submitted. Medical

8:25

practitioners report. Submitted. Incident

8:28

book entry. Submitted. First Aiders

8:30

report. Submitted. Supervisors incident

8:33

report. Submitted. HSE

8:35

communications. Submitted. Health

8:38

and safety policies. Submitted. Employment

8:40

contract. Submitted. Claim

8:43

valuation. 1.56 million

8:46

pounds. Sterling. Assessment

8:48

conclusion. Claim denied. Readon.

8:51

Fraudulent claim. See incident

8:53

description and police report. Incident

8:56

description as follows. I've

8:59

been advised by my lawyer that I should

9:01

cooperate with your insurance claim, even if I

9:03

am suing your asses to kingdom come. Something

9:06

about acting in good faith. So

9:08

here is my account of what happened, for all the

9:11

god it'll do. I could

9:13

apologize for the handwriting but since it's your

9:15

damn fault I won't bother. I

9:18

started working at Jax in the spring of 21 after

9:21

finishing the Flare Academy six months earlier. I

9:23

hadn't found a job the whole time and

9:25

I was just about to call it. Go back

9:27

to flipping burgers when Jax replied. Got

9:30

an interview straight away, bossed the demo

9:32

and somehow found myself tending at the

9:34

Soho Gentlemen's Club. Jax

9:37

has dances on the bottom two floors with

9:39

VIP suites for higher above with a dedicated

9:41

bouncer keeping them separate. Really

9:43

it's just a quieter box with a private bar,

9:45

some comfy chairs and the option of private dancers.

9:48

It's always booked up with swank dickheads trying to

9:50

show off. But stags are the

9:52

worst. They're cheap, they're loud, they

9:54

drink too much, tip too little and only

9:57

ever hire one dance for the groom. Plus

9:59

there's a- always some nice guy that won't

10:01

shut up about exploitation without even bothering to

10:04

stop bearing. This lot weren't

10:06

the worst. Just a bunch of heavy

10:08

set middle aged lads with names like

10:10

Ozzer or Rozzer or whatever. My

10:12

guess was they used to be a school rugby team or

10:14

something? The groom was fine, acted embarrassed

10:16

even though he was obviously keen and they

10:18

were easily pleased. They mostly just ordered lager so

10:21

I did a couple of helicopters and a

10:23

flash with some empties just for show and then

10:25

left them to it and got ahead with restocking

10:27

while they all swore they'd come back every

10:29

year. No one ever does.

10:32

They started giving the groom gifts. Same

10:35

old tats always. Cuff links, poo gags,

10:37

all the standard stuff. Then

10:39

the groom spotted the last one on the

10:41

table, this cheap yellow and purple kid's lunchbox.

10:44

It looked old and shoddy and no

10:46

one admitted to bringing it in but

10:48

the groom just squealed with glee and

10:50

carefully opened it before pulling out a

10:52

bunch of old souvenir merch. Pencils,

10:55

postcards, key rings, all sorts

10:57

of crap. All the same

10:59

yellow and purple and last of all

11:01

a cracked CD case. When

11:03

they saw it the whole bunch gave this

11:06

big laughing cheer. I could

11:08

see which way the wind was blowing and sure enough the best

11:10

man came over and asked if he could play it. The

11:13

cover had this awful comic sans title,

11:15

Mr. Bonzo's on his way and I

11:17

wasn't exactly thrilled by this. Mr.

11:20

Bonzo was way before my time and from

11:22

what I'd seen online he'd always looked pretty

11:24

messed up. But hey, it

11:26

was their night. If they wanted to

11:28

spend it on some cringy nostalgia trip who was I

11:30

to say no? This kind

11:32

of thing happened often enough that we kept a battered old

11:34

CD player in the back that we could patch into the

11:36

room speakers, just in case. So I

11:38

ducked back there, put it on, turned the volume down

11:41

as low as I thought I could get away with

11:43

and prayed it wasn't too obnoxious. Immediately

11:45

the cheering children's voices blared out the

11:48

speakers accompanied by bouncy tubers loud enough

11:50

to drown out the rest of the

11:52

club's music. It was awful.

11:55

But I could hear the lads stamping the floor in rhythm

11:57

and as the kids started singing the men were singing a

11:59

lot of music. Mr. On those

12:01

on his way He wants to stay. He wants

12:03

to play, missed the bombs on his way. He

12:05

wants to stay. He wants to play. I.

12:08

Gave them a minute since I didn't want to be

12:10

a total killjoy about. Finally I reached over and turn

12:12

off the Cd player before their it came down from

12:14

the office to have a word. For.

12:18

Instead of stopping, it just grew louder,

12:20

raffling the glassware in the. Midst.

12:23

Of bonds I was on his way. Wants to

12:25

stay. He wants to blush. I

12:27

should young the cables from the

12:29

speakers just getting louder. I

12:32

was just reaching for my walkie to call for

12:34

a techie when I heard this massive crush from

12:36

the roof followed by this chair from the party.

12:39

Members back in ready to give them a boasting but

12:41

then as it tasted behind the door when I saw.

12:45

It was hunched in the doorway of a

12:47

bulbous figure with a purple heart that cast

12:49

crazed shadows in all directions thanks to the

12:52

clubs lighter. Than it

12:54

does it's have. Pushed itself into

12:56

the room. From touching on the door

12:58

frame with a squeaked set my teeth

13:00

on edge. It's massive, bulbous, googly eyes

13:02

seem to rome all over the room

13:04

before settling on the groom. And

13:07

it was almost as if the huge to

13:09

be green crew that little bit wider when

13:11

it saw him. There. Will

13:13

be boys with tripping over themselves to get it and I'll

13:15

get my thing is pushing the groom to the from and

13:17

so I think it at that point he was a prank.

13:20

Again, none of them took credit for it, and

13:22

there was a moments of genuine hesitation on so

13:24

one of them yelled out. It's. Your

13:26

lap dance bars and. They all

13:29

fell about. blessings. I know

13:31

you'll think I should have seen the funny side of

13:33

it after all they were about bunch but. I

13:35

was pissed. Not them, they didn't know any

13:38

better, but a Joey the Orman delicate already

13:40

written a new one after Doctor for Smoke

13:42

and left me alone with punters. If you've

13:44

done it again, Mr. Accidentally let this kind

13:46

of thing happen. I was ready to

13:48

kill him myself. Against a

13:50

strident readying for the inevitable complaints

13:52

them acetate it as I saw

13:55

something far more on that these

13:57

ugly costume that was capering with

13:59

the group. The middle of the group. It

14:02

was a pair of heavy boots on that side. Poking.

14:04

Just inside the still open doorway. Joey's.

14:08

Boots. And they weren't moving.

14:11

Just. Then the googly eyes turned to me.

14:14

And. Of the things are raised cheekily

14:16

to it's mouth. Though. This

14:18

time the men at all started shouting

14:20

bonds bonds are you have been so

14:22

and stumping that feeds, binding the tables

14:24

in a circle around the pair in

14:26

the center of the music group. deafening.

14:28

distortions, Creeping in as the

14:31

speakers streamed. Like.

14:33

Ruff for my walkie to call for help with. A

14:35

Race. It's my face. I could hear the

14:37

same god awful tune blaring from the teeny

14:40

little speaker. Mister. Bubbles on his

14:42

way. He wants to stay. He wants to play.

14:44

I started to yell at them. Telling to stop

14:47

to get out before we call the police.

14:49

but some of the post. There. Was

14:51

still focused on thing as it took the

14:53

grew by the arms Mccown to spin him

14:55

around faster and faster. The.

14:57

Watching men with falling over

14:59

one another in hysterics as

15:01

it drew itself up to

15:03

it's full height a full

15:05

head taller than the largest

15:07

of them still spinning suddenly

15:09

ripped the grooms arms from

15:11

their sockets with the grizzlies

15:13

snap of tendon, a muscle.

15:17

Or members say was the last thing as the

15:19

group began to scream. Bloody. Flooding

15:21

out of his shoulders and gals. It

15:23

was only when I screamed with him that they realized

15:25

what was happening. To.

15:28

Be and screaming themselves as

15:30

Mr. Bonzo plums it's oversized

15:32

hundred into the groups of

15:34

mouth is t unable to

15:36

penetrated sweaty hide. The

15:38

other hand close that of his face,

15:40

dhabi fingers pressing into his eyes and

15:42

smothering his nose. And the two

15:44

hands jerk to part unfolding the

15:46

groups had with another flowering explosion

15:49

of blood. And then

15:51

becomes rule. So enraged most the

15:53

terror a few of the big

15:55

guys pixel chest bottles becomes a

15:57

flash thing It it's to note.

16:00

All this bloodshot eyes staying on

16:03

the group's body as it raised

16:05

over had. One. Slash from

16:07

a broken bottle. first one of the spots

16:09

on his body, releasing a stream. Hi

16:15

all mixture of keeps it was

16:17

brought home and Rancid meet. The.

16:20

Bones or thing didn't seem to notice.

16:22

Grace the body and slammed it back

16:24

into the floor. Oh, Oh

16:27

oh that's a low pulverizing

16:29

the flash and showering as

16:31

a goal until all that

16:33

was left was excuse. Oh

16:37

is that shuffled into with

16:39

a gap toothed mouth with

16:41

satisfaction? For

16:44

split seconds. All. Was still. But.

16:48

The music just pounded on

16:50

barely recognizable bow over the

16:52

distortion from the smoking speakers

16:54

as those voices no longer

16:56

child like still tempted the

16:58

words he's here to stay

17:00

He wants to play. That.

17:03

Mr. Bones or turn towards us

17:06

with it's head bowed almost reverentially.

17:09

And everyone went silent. Slowly.

17:13

Slowly slowly it raised its

17:15

head, tilting it. Coquettish

17:18

to one side, And.

17:20

The seems across it's a

17:22

splint revealing it's gaping more

17:25

filled with even larger shop.

17:28

On. A boomed playfully bonzo

17:30

on the ones who.

17:34

I don't remember much of what follows. Dream

17:37

about it most nights. In. The

17:40

dream it takes through all those

17:42

men to get to meet, grabbing

17:44

hold of them and slowing them

17:46

smashed against the wall. strobe fires

17:48

as it's hands plunge into a

17:50

pile of us/was a little less

17:53

flesh between meet. Me

17:55

at all those. My

18:01

own to protect myself. A. List

18:04

of spouse. Miles.

18:12

None. Of us was left whole. If

18:14

I was the luckiest. All. My last

18:16

was a hand. Wasn't even

18:18

my dominant one? I've

18:20

told the investigators everything I know

18:23

doctors to. I

18:25

don't know why nobody outside the room

18:27

heard or saw anything, why the cameras,

18:29

woodworking, why it let me live. but

18:32

I do know why there isn't any

18:34

bodies. Will.

18:37

Actually want is my hand back so I

18:39

can tend bar. That isn't going to happen

18:41

is it? So have to settle for the

18:43

next best thing and six you for everything

18:45

I can get because I don't know what

18:47

happened that night. That it does

18:49

in your than you and no one came to

18:51

help. Not Derek. Not another

18:54

dorm. And. No. One. So

18:56

yeah, You'd better have one hell of

18:58

a settlement waiting for me. Or I'll

19:01

see you in court. He

19:05

says christ ago by Alice?

19:07

No, actually. Glenn

19:12

below. Thought.

19:14

Okay, enough is enough school moments.

19:16

The ones you will be. You're already at the end of your

19:19

rope. Don't. Lower.

19:23

They. Are usually I'm actually ok. Sir.

19:29

Yes, I just. Had

19:32

to meet one of these external. I

19:35

get it. Yeah, I've worked in

19:37

civil service long. Enough to meet plenty of

19:39

and titles will dip shit consultants he

19:42

shouldn't let it get see is. What

19:46

do you think we're actually doing? Here

19:49

at the O Y A R. Support

19:51

a mortgage and on mental health for a

19:53

wage packet. We've both

19:55

been here long enough to know this place.

19:58

We're. Not doing good, We're

20:00

not just an existing random data.

20:04

The something wrong here. What

20:06

Are you getting up? You

20:08

never wonder what the point is. Who

20:11

benefits from all this awfulness?

20:13

I don't wonder. I

20:16

know. False. Really?

20:18

Oh yeah. I've

20:21

known for a while what we're

20:23

doing here. It's all part of

20:25

a grand plans to satisfy one

20:27

of the most unspeakable the evils

20:29

known to mankind. As

20:32

you can often than. Thanks

20:36

Alex! Utterly useless

20:38

as always. anytime. The

21:01

Markets Protocol is a podcast distributed

21:03

virus to quilt unlicensed under a

21:05

Creative Commons attribution noncommercial Shower Like

21:07

Four Point Oh international license. The

21:09

series is created by Jonathon Simmons

21:11

and Alex on the junior. This

21:18

episode was written by Alexandre Genuine

21:21

and edited with additional materials by

21:23

John Ensign. With

21:25

Oakland is by Larry on

21:27

Davis songs, gaming servers and

21:29

mustering Kathryn Winnick with music

21:31

by Some Gifts. It

21:36

featured Billie His. Real.

21:44

Name Is Celia replete with additional

21:46

forces reminder the junior. Among

21:51

as protocol is produced april

21:53

someone with access to says

21:56

Alexander general something with on

21:58

Lindsay Samantha as T. And

22:01

as you produce a storm.

22:03

L Hope Salem, I'm in

22:05

Oklahoma City's The Ravens hundred

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megatons. Describe

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view so materials for join our

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patron visit. Rustic. To

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reveal some like freezes up there was. A

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self eating the same level as dinner three days

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in a row. Dreaminess. I'm Ben. Well

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late bloomers tend to have more

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censoring as well that around the

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a cast.