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Hi, it's me, the Grand Poobah

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of Bah-Humbug, the OG Green Grump,

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the Grinch. From Wondery, Tiz the

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Grinch Holiday Talk Show is a

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pathetic attempt by the people of

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Whoville to use my situation as

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a teachable moment. So join me,

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the Grinch, along with Cindy

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Lou Who, and of course my dog

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Max, every week for this

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complete waste of time. Listen as

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I launch a campaign against Christmas cheer,

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grilling celebrity guests like chestnuts on an

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open fire. I'll try to get my

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heart to grow a few sizes, but

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it's not gonna work, honey. Your family

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will love the show. As you know,

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I'm famously great with kids. I'm

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about to play a clip from Tiz the Grinch Holiday

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Talk Show. Follow Tiz the Grinch Holiday Talk Show on

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the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. From

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Wondery and Dr. Seuss, broadcasting all

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the way from Mount Crumpet Studios,

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let's hope the equipment stays dry.

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Tiz the Grinch Holiday Talk Show,

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and of course Grinch's dog Max.

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But first, he's greener than a

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Tesla parked outside of Greta Thunberg's

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house and more bitter than a

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school bus full of sour gummy

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worms. Here he is, your host,

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the Grinch!

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Welcome to the Grinch Show. Why? Why

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is there a Grinch Show? Well, because if you steal

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Christmas, even if you end up joining in on the

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festivities in the end, you have to pay the price.

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This is my community service. It's

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the brainchild of the Whoville Department

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of Corrections and Rehabilitation, and based

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on how much I want to be here, they came

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up with a pretty good punishment. And

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they think it will help improve my

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interpersonal skills to schmooze it up with

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the celebs. But guess what? I'm not interested

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in celebs. I refuse to talk to

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them. Really? You, not

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interested in celebrities? Ugh,

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I forgot you had a microphone. Everybody,

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this is my court-ordered kid producer,

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12-year-old Cindy Lou Who. Who?

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You might remember as the little tattletale that

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sold me out to the whole town of

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Whoville about my little Christmas practical joke. Sorry

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to interrupt, but you did try to steal

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Christmas. Cindy Lou Who, ladies

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and gentlemen. Apparently, they don't have child

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labor laws in Whoville. Okay,

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fine. I'll talk to celebs, but

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good luck buttering me up, beautiful

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people. I'm the Grinch, the

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grand poobah of Bahambug, a man who looks

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at the oncoming Christmas season like someone tied

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to train tracks would look at an oncoming

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train with razor blades for wheels. But look,

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I'm not a bad guy.

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For instance, kids, I'm gonna take your side

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on something. Hold onto your seats, keep

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on your pants, the Grinch is going

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on one of his rest. I

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sure am. Parents are

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putting you to bed too early,

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and downtown Whoville, I overheard a

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family who apparently has a bedtime

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for their 11-year-old son of 9

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p.m. 9

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p.m. That's like late

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afternoon. 9 p.m.? Let

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me tell you something. Your parents,

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not prison guards. It's not

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fair. Don't get me wrong, kids, for the

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most part, I think of

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you as feral fiendish foes. Rembunctious

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revolting rugrat reprobates. But on this

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bedtime issue, I'm with

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you. What is with your parents?

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PJ's on in 10 minutes. Be in bed by

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9. Brush your teeth by 8. No

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sweets after 7. What is this, the

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military? How are

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kids gonna learn to take care of themselves when

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they're older? If all you do is boss them

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around like some crazy gym teacher, how

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are they supposed to sleep with the PTSD of

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having you as a parent? I

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say, let kids go to

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bed when they want. Let them develop

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their own sleeping habits. Vanishing them to

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their beds when they aren't tired just

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guarantees they'll lie in bed staring

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at the ceiling. Have you

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seen a ceiling recently? Pretty

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boring. I can't stand lying in bed

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awake at night when I can't sleep,

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especially since I've seen every episode of

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Elf Fights on Hootoo. Kids,

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stay up as late as you want. Except for you,

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Cindy Lou Who on Christmas Eve, you don't need to

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know what's going on in your house at that time.

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Ha ha, good one, Mr. Grinch. But

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actually, what you're telling our listeners isn't

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exactly the best advice. Okay, here we

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go. According to the American Academy of

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Sleep Science, kids in the age group

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are referring to need between 9 to

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12 hours of sleep each night. Good

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thing the final police are here. Point taken,

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Cindy Lou Boo. But

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parents, just, I don't know, turn

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it down a notch over the bedtime thing.

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All your rules are given, kids' nightmares. Listen

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to Tiz the Grinch holiday talk show early

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and ad-free right now by joining Wundery Plus

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in the Wundery app or on Apple Podcasts.