Episode Transcript
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2:39
It is so important in life
2:41
to learn how to be a
2:43
good interviewer. Not because you're
2:45
a reporter, not because you're a podcaster, but
2:48
so many situations in life are
2:50
quasi-interviews, like when you're applying for
2:53
a job, or when you are
2:56
hiring somebody, or when you meet
2:58
a girl or a guy at a party,
3:01
you want to find out as much
3:03
about them as quickly as possible. And
3:05
you also want to make sure they
3:07
have a good opinion of you, if
3:09
that's your goal. So being a good
3:11
interviewer and having those skills is
3:13
critical. And I'm so grateful that I've had
3:16
this podcast and I've had to study the
3:19
styles of some of the best interviewers out
3:21
there. But one of the best interviewers out
3:23
there has recently written an article on how
3:26
to be a great interviewer.
3:28
And I'm talking about Polina
3:30
Pompliano, who writes the newsletter,
3:32
the profile. She does profiles
3:34
of so many amazing people.
3:36
I highly recommend Google Polina
3:38
Pompliano. She's written a book,
3:40
Hidden Genius, but subscribe
3:42
to her newsletter, The Profile. And she
3:44
just had an edition where
3:46
she didn't profile someone, but she
3:49
wrote about the 10 best techniques
3:51
for being a great interviewer. And
3:53
she studies the greats, distills what
3:55
their top 10 techniques are. I
3:57
really got a lot of value out of this. to
4:00
come on the podcast and we just shared
4:02
stories about how to be a good
4:04
interviewer. So let me know if
4:06
this was valuable to you, but I'm sure it will
4:08
be. Here's Polina and we talk about
4:11
how to be a great interviewer. This
4:18
isn't your average business podcast and
4:20
he's not your average host. This
4:22
is the James Officer Show. What
4:30
is your profile? You've
4:35
done so many interviews through
4:38
your newsletter. Is it
4:41
actually called the profile? It
4:43
is called the profile, yes. I
4:47
always forget the title, but it
4:49
is the one newsletter. When I
4:51
get it, that's the first newsletter
4:53
I open. I just love your
4:55
profiles. You're profiling everybody from billionaires
4:57
to artists. It's great
4:59
because unlike a podcast, you don't
5:01
feel obligated to bring the person
5:04
in to your house and interview them.
5:06
You just profile anybody you're interested in.
5:08
It allows you to
5:10
do extra research and so on. Exactly.
5:12
A lot of times I
5:14
back my way into interviewing them. If I
5:16
really want to interview someone and
5:19
I don't think I can yet, I
5:21
put together a deep dive on them and then I
5:24
send it to them or their people. I'm like,
5:26
hey, look, this is my style. This is what I
5:28
do. I'd love to interview
5:30
you and I've gotten a few interviews that way. You've
5:34
now built up such a following
5:37
that I imagine book
5:40
publishers or movie studios should be pitching
5:42
you, hey, can you profile our author
5:44
or actor or whatever? Yeah,
5:46
no, I get quite
5:49
a few. Only
5:52
a few of them are actually really, really
5:54
interesting, but I read every email. Believe
5:56
me, we get 100. I
6:00
would say realistically we get about between
6:02
10 and 20 a day. I
6:04
believe it. And sometimes I get angry actually, not really
6:06
like angry, angry, but I want to write back and
6:09
said, why do you think this
6:11
person, you know, I would want to,
6:13
not that like everybody is valuable and
6:15
everybody has an interesting story, but like
6:18
given, you know, for, for
6:20
a podcast, you have a certain brand or,
6:22
or you have certain type of person. You
6:25
could tell the person did no research. Like
6:27
why would I want to interview somebody who,
6:29
I don't know, I don't want to put anybody down, but, uh,
6:32
and it's, again, it's not like I think I'm
6:34
so elite, but it's the point of view
6:36
of the podcast. It's like, they know
6:39
who they're pitching. I completely agree. And,
6:42
and, but you do a lot of interviews
6:44
though, like for your, for your newsletter. And
6:47
like me, you study
6:49
the art of the interview, which is why
6:51
I love that article you wrote where you
6:53
took a break from profiling and you did
6:55
10 interview techniques from the world's
6:58
best interviewers. And it's really like
7:00
something that I am fat, obsessed
7:02
by. Like you, uh, you've
7:05
taken a slightly different angle in your research and
7:07
I, I, you know, everybody has their own style.
7:09
And, and like, I've looked at everybody
7:12
from like Larry King to Oprah, to Howard
7:14
Stern, to Joe Rogan, like everybody's got their
7:16
own style. And, and it's very
7:19
interesting to, to study
7:21
people's interviewing styles, because an
7:24
interviewer has to, you know, unwrap
7:27
this gift. And there's a lot of
7:30
wrapping around the gift, but if you get to the
7:32
gift itself, you get a beautiful interview. It's
7:35
so true. And the reason, I mean,
7:37
I think all the, everyone who
7:39
interviews people for a living, as you do,
7:41
I'm sure has done this research for themselves,
7:43
which is what I was doing, I was
7:46
just compiling thoughts for myself to get better.
7:48
And then I was like, maybe I should
7:50
just like publish this because everybody's always trying
7:52
to be a better conversationalist interviewer. You know,
7:55
even if you have nothing, if you don't
7:57
have a podcast or an interview show, you're
7:59
probably. interviewing candidates for a job
8:01
at your business. So it's like something
8:03
everybody can benefit from. It's
8:06
so true. Like I have
8:08
found that getting good at
8:10
interviewing, and I'm not saying I'm great,
8:12
it's like a non-stop, it's like a
8:15
lifelong study. You have to master it,
8:17
like mastering a sport or mastering music.
8:19
Interviewing is, you're playing
8:21
an instrument, which is the person you're interviewing
8:23
and that's a little maybe
8:26
not quite good, but you
8:29
have to kind of, it's a path to
8:31
mastery and it's difficult, but it does improve
8:33
other areas of my life. Like it helps
8:36
me relate to people in general and understand
8:38
people and so on. Like
8:40
when you're interviewing, what's your, what
8:42
is your goal feeling
8:45
that you want the interviewee, the person
8:47
you're interviewing, to have by the end
8:49
of the interview? My
8:52
goal going into any interview is to
8:54
make them think. I think so, especially
8:56
you know when you interview a lot
8:58
of CEOs and founders and people like
9:01
that, oftentimes they're very media trained and
9:03
it's really hard to break that veil
9:05
or that like pierce that smokescreen. And
9:09
my goal is like I want to have
9:11
them pause after a question, be like hold
9:13
on, I've never actually thought of that or
9:15
thought about it that way. And when
9:18
you make them think, it's like it
9:20
humanizes them just a little bit. The
9:22
problem is that it takes a while to get
9:24
through that. And when
9:27
I was writing this you know
9:29
article about the interviewing techniques, I was like
9:31
how can you do that more quickly? Like
9:34
how can you build intimacy quicker so that
9:36
you get there faster? Right
9:38
because let's say you only have a half
9:40
hour to an hour to interview them, which
9:42
really means you only have about five minutes,
9:45
maybe even less, to make them feel comfortable
9:47
with who you are as an interviewer. Because
9:49
a lot of people might be on guard
9:51
and like you said a lot of people,
9:54
particularly like CEOs or other
9:56
high-profile people, they have their
9:58
media message. that they
10:01
said like one time i'll give you an example
10:03
of one time i was interviewing tony robbins after
10:05
one of his books came out and he had
10:07
such a message and he's such a like a
10:10
big. Mom yeah
10:12
and i say
10:14
this in the best possibly that he
10:17
just gets on his spiel and i had
10:19
to practically yell at him to interrupt and
10:21
you discuss the art of interruption in your
10:23
article will get to the specific techniques. And
10:26
other times people don't know that when they're saying
10:28
something that might be interesting. It's just
10:30
kind of listing some things that have happened in their life and
10:32
they're you know oh i got over
10:34
a cocaine addiction and then i did it yeah
10:36
wait wait a second how did you get how
10:38
did you get the. You know you
10:40
never going to and people are afraid
10:42
to interrupt you never get this chance again to talk
10:45
to them. A hundred percent and it's
10:47
yeah it's so good especially like you
10:50
said tony robbins probably doing like a
10:52
hundred interviews for his book he's on
10:54
message even if you ask him a
10:57
question probably just answer something kind of
10:59
related but not really to get his
11:01
message across and it's like the interviewers
11:04
you're definitely one of them who are
11:06
actually listening. They are the
11:08
ones who like real wind the tape like wait
11:11
let's focus on that a little bit more and
11:13
i think for me. It
11:15
to go back to like if you have thirty minutes
11:17
how do you get to that intimacy quicker what
11:20
i do is often. If
11:23
i'm asking them to share something a
11:25
little more vulnerable i'll start first how
11:27
it's done does this a lot it's
11:29
like you share something about your own
11:31
life for your own struggle or whatever.
11:34
And that allows them to be like okay
11:36
okay like let me tell you my experience
11:38
it's a little like i'll give a little
11:40
you give a little and it i think
11:42
that helps. That is
11:44
so interesting because that's where your
11:47
interviews are different from a podcast
11:49
because i can't do
11:52
that so much you know i've done fifteen
11:54
hundred episodes and i
11:57
can't do that so much in the podcast
11:59
because my listeners. They know my
12:01
story. It's very hard to
12:03
reveal something new to my,
12:06
you know, regular listeners. So
12:09
I see where you're saying with the vulnerability
12:11
and sometimes I try to do that because
12:14
that's a really important thing to get out of them. But
12:16
I have to kind of work around that a
12:18
little bit sometimes maybe before the interview or or
12:22
maybe I asked what I have to do is really show
12:24
them how much I appreciate
12:26
what they've been through. Yes,
12:29
exactly. In the pre-interview, like
12:31
the time before the interview actually starts is also
12:33
very important because yeah, you can you can build
12:36
that rapport before you even start. Yeah.
12:38
And so so you want them to think, you
12:41
know, it's interesting. I haven't thought of it that
12:43
way. What I want them to say to me
12:45
afterwards is, man, that felt like
12:48
a therapy session. Yeah. So
12:51
and then what do you want your reader or listener
12:53
to think after you've done an interview? I
12:58
want them to I want them
13:00
to be like, wow, I actually really
13:02
learn something from this person or there's
13:04
one piece of practical something
13:06
that I can take away and implement in
13:09
my life. I always try to try
13:11
to like extract something practical from the
13:13
person because ultimately if you're a listener
13:15
of a podcast, you probably want to
13:17
get better. You probably want to grow.
13:20
So it's like, what is one technique
13:22
that like maybe I haven't considered or
13:24
maybe I haven't thought
13:26
about in that way that I can implement in my day.
13:29
And do you ever
13:31
get nervous or intimidated before you interview
13:34
someone all the time? Every
13:36
time I still do. Really?
13:39
Yeah. After 1500. I
13:41
mean, I'll tell you, I first
13:44
professionally was interviewing people. And
13:46
my listeners know this story. But I worked
13:48
for HBO in the 90s. And I did
13:50
this project where I was interviewing people at
13:52
three in the morning in New York City. Prostitutes
13:56
pimps, drug dealers. Yeah.
13:59
Other. Homeless whatever and
14:01
I would just walk up to people three in the morning So you
14:03
have to there's a degree of
14:05
comfort you have to make them feel very
14:08
quickly and they might have weapons so
14:12
so I've done a lot of intergrated thousands of those
14:14
and I still and I
14:16
was always nervous walking out to somebody but I'm
14:18
still if someone's coming on I'm like Almost
14:22
always the 30 seconds
14:24
before the interview starts. I hope they
14:26
cancel a
14:31
lot too, it's so interesting right like I
14:33
don't I mean I I think
14:36
that being nervous is actually a
14:38
good sign because you Prepare the people who
14:40
are like, ah whatever and they don't end
14:42
up preparing and it's not as good of
14:44
an interview I think like that nervousness is
14:46
what keeps you really good. I Think
14:50
so. I think you ever could do an
14:52
interview though, and you feel like man. I could
14:54
have done better. Oh that Totally
14:56
like that feels really bad and then
14:59
somehow that happened to me recently I was
15:01
like, oh no that that fell short and
15:04
then it ended up like the
15:07
listeners really liked it She's like, how
15:09
does this happen? You know, sometimes your
15:11
bar of quality is different That's
15:13
true. But like okay a couple years ago.
15:15
I interviewed before he was running for president
15:17
interviewed RFK jr Okay, and I
15:20
read his book I read other but you know that was
15:22
a mistake because when you read his I mean, I'm glad
15:24
I read his book And I did other
15:26
research But I didn't really of
15:28
course you only get his side of the story on
15:31
that stuff I should I didn't
15:33
really realize the depth to which you
15:35
know drug problems and and other
15:37
factors were you know formed his
15:39
his his view of life and
15:41
I Feel like I should have
15:43
asked more about that, but I just wasn't as aware that I
15:46
should have been it's hard It's
15:48
also hard one-on-one interviews. I find really
15:50
difficult Because you don't
15:52
have the benefit of like going I mean,
15:55
I guess you could do that But it
15:57
just takes a lot of work you could
16:00
So for example, if you're writing
16:02
a profile in a magazine, you would
16:04
go interview his associates, people he's worked
16:07
with, family members, friends, whatever. But like
16:09
this, you truly are only getting this
16:11
one person's side of the story. You
16:13
can't bring in different voices. Right.
16:16
And you're, I don't, like
16:18
a podcaster is not a journalist. I don't
16:20
consider you a journalist. You're writing something not
16:23
to say, oh, I got the dirt on
16:25
this person, or I found
16:27
out, you know, this thing they did,
16:29
you know, it's a story, but you're
16:32
trying to help your readers and
16:36
give, find lessons and benefits. And
16:39
okay, journalism has its role, but I
16:41
think for me, it's more interesting, like
16:43
your style of profile than reading and
16:45
I got you kind of story. So
16:48
cause then you don't, like I find when
16:50
everybody, you know, with a
16:52
lot of journalism, the journalist has an
16:54
agenda that might maybe is not
16:57
a friendly agenda and they're trying to get,
16:59
you know, they're trying to get
17:01
some achievement in their career, which might go
17:03
against the goals of the readers and the
17:05
goal of the person they're interviewing. I
17:08
really, I really truly get upset
17:10
when I see something like that. It,
17:12
there is a place for
17:14
hard hitting, you know, investigative journalism
17:16
and I will defend that to
17:19
the desk. What I don't like
17:21
is somebody coming in and being like, Oh, this
17:23
is a cheap shot. I'm just going to get
17:25
my, you know, sound bite and
17:27
move on. And in the, I mean, I
17:29
don't want to like harp
17:31
on it, but in the article that
17:33
I wrote in parentheses, so it's not
17:36
like that obvious, but
17:38
I included a link
17:41
to what happens when a reporter
17:43
has an agenda. He's not well
17:45
prepared and he's trying to take
17:47
somebody down with Elon Musk.
17:51
This reporter came in and he was just like, well, what do
17:53
you think about this? And he was like, well,
17:55
he was talking about Twitter and after Elon
17:57
acquired it and all this stuff. And
18:00
Elon was like, well, give me an example of what
18:02
you're talking about. And he was like, uh, uh,
18:04
well, I don't really use Twitter. And it's just
18:06
like, Oh my gosh, it's so bad, but it
18:08
just shows the lack of preparation and then Elon's
18:11
able to turn it around on him and just
18:13
super embarrassing. Yeah.
18:15
I think that's, that's an interesting point
18:17
too, by the way, is that when
18:19
you're being interviewed by someone who's doing
18:21
that, I got you style and, and
18:23
they're never going to really be fully
18:25
prepared because they have an agenda. So
18:27
you have to fit in their agenda.
18:29
And there are a lot of great
18:31
techniques for dealing with that
18:33
also. And this works like it just in general in
18:35
any kind of argument, like, like,
18:38
you know, often
18:40
they slightly change the subject. So instead of
18:42
saying like, Hey, this is how you bought
18:44
Twitter. They might make it kind of their
18:46
own opinion about freedom of speech. And then
18:48
I don't know that particular interview you're referring
18:50
to, but Elon must might, might be able
18:52
to say, Hey, did you just change the
18:54
subject? I'm happy to talk about that. But
18:56
let me know. Is that, is that what
18:58
we're talking about now? Are we still talking
19:00
about Twitter? And so there's ways
19:03
to kind of like, you could label
19:05
what they're doing and then that sort of throws them
19:07
off a little bit. Yes. Yeah.
19:10
And it just, I, yeah,
19:12
I think that some people, um, get
19:16
power drunk and they don't think
19:18
that the subject will push back
19:20
and when they do, they kind
19:22
of lose their footing and just
19:25
chaos ensues. Yeah. And,
19:27
and look, the great thing
19:29
about newsletters and podcasts is these are
19:32
the sorts of things that did not
19:34
exist 20 years ago. You
19:36
know, the technology wasn't there. The audio wasn't there.
19:38
So you had to be chosen by like
19:41
the New York times or a radio,
19:43
a powerful radio station or the Washington
19:45
post. And so you felt like
19:47
you had status. So it was
19:49
a different type of feeling that reporters and
19:51
journalists had then. Whereas we sort of have
19:53
created our media and it's like, it's
19:55
like you have your own magazine. I have my own
19:58
radio show, but we, we chose. ourselves
20:00
to do that so we could we don't
20:02
have to do the I got you kind
20:04
of journalism we could share we could be
20:06
the bridge between our audience and
20:10
really intelligent smart
20:13
Inspirational people and that's a that's a
20:15
value And I want to just
20:17
I just want to like add a little
20:20
nuance here It's not that we're saying
20:22
never challenge the person. That's not at
20:24
all what this is. It's like I
20:27
got you versus uh challenging
20:29
I think actually you do this really
20:31
well And I remember um when I
20:33
came on your show for my book
20:36
In the beginning you said something
20:38
like okay, but hold on I want to
20:41
challenge this point of view that you had
20:43
in the book because I think it's contradictory to
20:45
something else that you said That was so good
20:47
because it allowed me to explain it in more
20:49
detail And I knew that you
20:52
don't just like take people's crap like you're not like
20:54
Um, well, you said it so it must be
20:57
fact like no, let's explore that and i'm gonna
20:59
challenge you But in challenging you
21:01
i'm actually giving you an opportunity to explain
21:03
yourself better Yeah,
21:05
that's a good point because I think I
21:07
think a there's a couple things there one is it
21:09
shows And then I really do want to get to
21:12
your techniques But
21:14
um When when I do something
21:16
like that a is because i'm really curious why
21:18
or maybe there's something I didn't understand like i'm
21:21
I am trusting you so i'm trying to figure out
21:23
what didn't I understand and then b like
21:26
you said it allows to get More
21:28
information out and to dig a little further
21:30
but also see there's this a slight part
21:32
where I'm showing you how deeply
21:34
I read your book It's a way of showing
21:37
respect to you So then you're you become more
21:39
comfortable in the interview or that or whoever i'm
21:41
interviewing becomes more comfortable So many
21:43
interviewers don't read their latest books or the
21:45
things they're trying to promote So then what's
21:47
the point and I always want to make
21:49
sure Not only do I
21:52
prepare questions, but I prepare how am I
21:54
going to demonstrate that I have
21:56
studied them more than anyone else Exactly
22:00
And it reflects in your questions and
22:02
it shows that you're genuinely curious, which
22:05
is one of the
22:07
things, a cornerstone of an interviewing
22:09
technique. Take
22:16
a quick break. If you like this episode, I'd
22:18
really, really appreciate it. It means so much to
22:21
me. Please share it with your friends and subscribe
22:23
to the podcast. Email
22:25
me at altatra.com and tell me
22:28
why you subscribed. Thanks. Yes,
22:38
it's totally true. Airbnb
22:41
has changed my life. If anything, they have
22:43
made my life so much better.
22:45
Like I used to live in Airbnb's. I lived
22:48
in over a hundred or 200 different Airbnb's
22:50
over a three year period and
22:52
I loved it. I
22:54
love, I became a really good guest
22:57
of Airbnb's and I got to know
22:59
lots of hosts. So when I initially
23:02
owned a house, I,
23:04
of course, the first thing I thought was I'm going to
23:06
turn my house into an Airbnb because I travel a lot.
23:09
So why leave my house unused
23:12
when I can make a side
23:14
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23:16
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23:18
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23:21
or being a host for Airbnb has
23:23
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23:26
I've met other hosts. I've actually
23:28
spoken at Airbnb's host conference. I
23:30
think it was in 2017. I
23:32
met so many just nice hosts. It's a great
23:34
community. And I love,
23:38
you know, turning my own home into
23:40
an Airbnb. Like I'm traveling to Austin
23:42
next month. My home's going to be
23:44
an Airbnb while I'm away and
23:46
I'll stay in an Airbnb. I'd rather stay
23:48
in like a three story house Airbnb than
23:50
in one tiny hotel room in the middle
23:52
of Austin during South by Southwest. So
23:55
listen, while you're away, your home could
23:57
be an Airbnb. Many people host a Airbnb.
24:00
on Airbnb, but there are people who
24:02
are just letting their house sit empty
24:04
who've never thought about it or didn't
24:06
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24:08
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24:10
and is a great way to earn
24:12
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24:14
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24:16
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24:19
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24:23
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24:26
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24:34
remember last year I was asked to go
24:36
speak at the Norway Business Summit and I
24:38
was so excited because side
24:40
by side with the Business Summit
24:42
was the Norway Chess Summit where
24:45
I would get to see in person Magnus Carlsen,
24:47
the best chess player ever playing
24:49
chess. But it
24:51
was for plane rides like to get
24:53
to the city that I've
24:55
ultimately ever gone to. So I really
24:58
did not want to fly for 14 hours and
25:00
they were willing to pay for everything for me.
25:02
So I first class,
25:04
so I didn't want to fly for 14 hours
25:06
and not be first class. So
25:09
I had to hurry up and
25:11
get on the phone immediately to get
25:13
those first class tickets to a chess
25:16
tournament in Norway. And listen,
25:18
this is just like when
25:20
you have to know when you
25:23
want the best of anything, you have to
25:25
act quickly or someone else will get it
25:27
instead. And I did not want those seats
25:29
to fill up. So it's like if you're
25:31
hiring for your business, you want to find
25:33
the most talented people for your open roles
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before the competition scoops them up. I was
25:38
just talking to a friend this morning where
25:40
he was trying to
25:43
decide between some programmers and
25:45
he waited a little too long and both
25:47
the programmers he was interviewing took
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the smartest way to hire. Let's
27:35
see your your techniques because you've studied
27:37
so many of these great interviewers so
27:40
the first thing you say is they
27:43
know the first question this is so important a
27:46
great interviewer knows the first question sets
27:48
the tone for the entire interview and
27:50
you give the example you give two
27:53
examples of Zuckerberg Tim Ferriss who's a
27:55
great podcaster his
27:57
first question was about fencing and
27:59
Zuckerberg who's constantly being challenged in the
28:01
media. He just opened up and relaxed and
28:03
like they're friends which is what you
28:06
want as an interviewer, you know, as a
28:08
goal, like become instant friends. Whereas somebody else
28:10
interviewed Zuckerberg or Kara Swisher and was like,
28:12
tell me, you know, why are you anti-privacy
28:15
or whatever she said? Take off
28:17
your hoodie, you're sweating through it, like it's
28:19
just a dressing down of literally
28:22
and figuratively. So
28:24
like, I wonder if that was her
28:26
goal was just to kind of show her readers
28:28
that she could be tough or
28:30
if she really thought that would
28:33
be a good interviewing technique to kind of throw him off
28:35
real quickly. Well, I mean,
28:37
that's kind of her thing. But also,
28:39
I think it's two different
28:41
contexts. Tim Ferriss was interviewing him on
28:43
a podcast. So they had two hours.
28:45
She was interviewing Zuckerberg
28:48
on stage and maybe they had like,
28:50
I don't know, 30 minutes, 15 minutes.
28:52
So they have to get there faster.
28:55
She has to ask those questions faster.
28:57
The problem is that you risk burning
28:59
the subject that you're trying to interview.
29:02
Mark Zuckerberg, after that interview with Kara
29:04
Swisher, did not do an
29:06
interview with her for eight years. In that
29:09
period of time, Facebook became Facebook. So
29:12
I mean, you risk that.
29:14
But also, you know, when
29:16
you go straight into the
29:18
meet, the person's
29:21
on the defensive, like they're on guard. They're
29:23
just they're not going to
29:25
be as open. Whereas when Tim Ferriss
29:27
starts like that with fencing, it
29:29
opens up Zuckerberg. And naturally, as a
29:31
human being, if he brings up if
29:33
Tim Ferriss brings up a difficult subject
29:35
later in the interview, it's
29:38
just you've built that rapport. So
29:40
it's easier to ask and
29:42
respond to the hard questions. Yeah,
29:45
but I wonder, like, let's say you were
29:47
Kara Swisher in that case. Yeah. What
29:49
would you have? Let's say you only have 30 minutes. I don't
29:51
know how much time she had. Let's say you only have 30
29:53
minutes and you wanted to put you
29:55
put you being Paulina, you
29:57
wanted to start with an interview that that
30:00
is more warm and friendly the way Tim Ferriss said. What
30:02
would you have done? I
30:05
think just the first question wouldn't
30:07
have been a direct, what are
30:09
you doing about privacy? Maybe I
30:11
would have started with an anecdote
30:13
of someone using the platform and
30:16
something adjacent to the privacy question,
30:22
and then I would have gotten there. It's
30:24
just the first three questions of
30:27
her and her colleagues when they were interviewing Zuckerberg
30:30
were about privacy. Maybe let's just
30:32
open it up with something that
30:34
sets the
30:37
tone that this is what we're going to
30:39
talk about, but it's softer, and then go
30:41
into the more direct. Yeah,
30:44
I'm trying to think. I think what
30:46
I would have done, like you said, fencing
30:50
might be too long of a subject.
30:52
Yeah, yeah. But I might have
30:54
said something like, I just
30:56
want to mention, in 2006, the first time I
31:00
turned on Facebook, it was the most amazing
31:02
experience. I could finally see what
31:04
my friends from first grade are
31:06
doing now. I would never call them, but
31:08
I could see how their kid's soccer game
31:11
did last night. Here's how
31:13
I would do it. Sorry, sorry. I didn't know if
31:15
you. For example,
31:17
I would say, Mark, Facebook is
31:20
amazing for somebody like me because I get
31:22
to for the first time. Your
31:25
company gave me the opportunity to connect
31:27
with family in Bulgaria, where previously I
31:29
had no contact with. We couldn't share
31:32
photos like this as easily, whatever. And
31:35
then I would say, by the
31:37
way, I noticed that my grandmother in
31:40
Bulgaria is posting links to
31:42
things that's definitely misinformation, and
31:44
it's kind of propaganda. How
31:46
are you guys handling that with my grandmother
31:49
in Bulgaria? Something like that, where it's not
31:51
as abusive. That's
31:53
really good, because then you could say, she needs
31:56
to be worried because the government in Bulgaria. And
31:59
then you could always. that what about people here in
32:01
the US? Is it different? Is
32:03
it the same? Why are people worried about
32:05
privacy here? Exactly. Yeah,
32:08
that would have been good. And you know,
32:10
all this stuff is important too for a
32:12
job. Let's say you're just going for a
32:14
job at some random bank. So
32:16
it's like sort of generic. It's
32:19
very important to research and figure
32:21
out how to connect. Why
32:23
this bank? Why this person? Why are you
32:26
sitting there? What's happening that's
32:29
beyond just money and doing
32:32
work that connects you to this
32:34
experience. I think it's important to always
32:36
think of these interview questions. Exactly.
32:38
When I was interviewing at Fortune, you
32:41
know, I go into interview for a job,
32:43
but if I hadn't researched the person who
32:45
was interviewing me, I would have never known
32:48
that she got her PhD at the same
32:50
university where I graduated from. That's a huge
32:52
like connective thing that we could talk about.
32:54
But if I hadn't done my research on
32:57
her, I wouldn't have known that and it
32:59
would have just been like any generic interview
33:01
she'd done that day. I'll
33:04
tell you like that is incredibly
33:06
valuable. That's the
33:08
most valuable thing that's going to come out of this
33:10
particular podcast because tell me just just that type of
33:13
thing when you research the people in advance that you're
33:15
going to talk to in a
33:17
job situation or some professional business
33:19
situation. Of course, it's obvious
33:21
that we do this in interviews or we
33:23
should but not everybody does that for a
33:26
job interview or the first time you meet
33:28
somebody in a professional setting. Like
33:30
I've had companies actually acquired
33:33
from me because I've done that letter level of
33:35
research. Like one time I met the CFO
33:37
of a company that was acquiring my company
33:39
at the time and I
33:42
learned that he went to Grinnell
33:44
College and you
33:46
know, it was we were both were, you know,
33:48
I had a finance company that I was selling.
33:50
Yeah, you know, Grinnell College, of course, and I
33:53
then this there's the CFO and the CEO in
33:55
the room. I explained to the CEO, you got
33:57
to really know that Grinnell College is an important.
34:00
and case studies because they have the fastest
34:02
growing endowment because a young man by the
34:04
name of Warren Buffett is sitting on their
34:06
board of trustees. And
34:08
so that put, ingratiated the CFO to
34:11
me. You know, the CEO
34:13
learned something I had that was able to
34:15
like, you know, show everybody. I
34:17
knew what I was doing. So stuff
34:20
like that is really valuable. It's small,
34:22
but it's like, I mean, we're human beings.
34:25
It makes you more likable to me, you know?
34:28
Yeah. And, and again, like no
34:30
matter what an interview, the interviewee
34:33
is nervous. Also they
34:35
want to be at ease. You only have an hour
34:37
together. You want them, you want to
34:39
be able to maybe interview them later. Like you said, Mark
34:41
Zuckerberg didn't go back to Caris Fisher for eight years. I'm
34:43
surprised he went back at all. But
34:46
I guess that's his job too, to be the face of his
34:48
company. But it's, it's
34:50
important. So okay. No, okay. You
34:53
got to set the tone. Number two. By
34:56
the way, you mentioned, you start mentioning
34:58
Larry King. Yeah. And
35:00
Larry King is an excellent person to study because
35:03
he specifically, and you mentioned he does,
35:05
he's conducted 60,000 interviews. That's
35:07
crazy. Yeah. And
35:09
he, he did not research
35:12
on purpose, his, the people he would
35:14
interview because he wanted it to be
35:16
fresh. Like the listener might not know who.
35:19
But he really listened while the interview
35:21
was going on. Yes. And
35:23
what do you think of that approach of not doing any research at all?
35:26
I think it works for some people. It would not work
35:28
for me. I think I would be too nervous that
35:30
I didn't touch on something that I should have touched
35:32
on. And also I would
35:35
be nervous that I'm just asking the
35:37
same questions. They've already been asked 10
35:39
billion times, but like the experts, the
35:42
masters of their craft, you
35:44
know, they know what they're doing and it just, it
35:46
works for some people, but you just got to know.
35:49
Yeah. I, I
35:51
don't know. I don't think it would work for me
35:53
either, but sometimes when you do too much
35:55
research, I have to make sure the
35:58
listener knows what I'm talking about. about. The
36:01
context, yeah. So sometimes it's a fine
36:03
line to navigate, but I agree. I have
36:05
to do the research. I'm impressed with Larry
36:07
King, but there are some funny stories because
36:09
Larry King does it this way. Like
36:12
he famously asked Jerry Seinfeld in
36:14
an interview, you know, how did
36:16
you feel when your show was canceled? And
36:18
Jerry Seinfeld was like, Larry, do you know who
36:21
I am? Yeah, exactly.
36:23
But like that makes for
36:25
a great, great television. Yeah,
36:27
it's true. Your second
36:29
one's really interesting. Your second point is a good
36:32
interviewer explores the gap between
36:34
expectation and reality.
36:37
So like, give me an example. Yeah.
36:40
So, okay. I
36:42
learned this from Brandon Stanton, who's the
36:44
photographer behind Humans of New York. He
36:47
interviews regular people on a daily basis
36:50
and he often has like 10 or 15
36:52
minutes with them. It's not, you
36:54
know, two hours. So he's like, how do you build
36:56
intimacy quickly? One of the questions that
36:58
he asks is how
37:01
has your life turned out differently than you
37:03
expected it to? And the
37:05
reason that's such a powerful question
37:07
is because it introduces conflict, like
37:10
internal turmoil in
37:12
the subject. They're like, oh man, like I
37:15
really thought my life would be this way,
37:17
but then I got this drug addiction and
37:19
now it's this way. And you see how
37:21
like, it's almost like the life
37:23
unlived, all the different possibilities of the
37:25
way your life could have turned out
37:28
and the way it actually did. So
37:30
it forces the subject to kind of
37:32
consider two realities and build a connection
37:35
between them and be like, this is
37:37
the reason why my life did not
37:39
turn out this way. Yeah,
37:42
that is really good. You know, I've never
37:44
tried that question. I should, that's a really
37:47
good way to get fast intimacy.
37:50
And you mentioned Ira Glass also in that. He
37:53
does. Yeah. And
37:55
I was like, how did you think the
37:57
situation was going to work out before it
38:00
happened? And then how did it really work
38:02
out? It's something in my book,
38:04
I talk about Aaron Sorkin who wrote The
38:06
Social Network and a bunch of other films,
38:08
but he talks about a
38:10
good story has to
38:13
have conflict and intent. And this is what
38:15
this question has. It has conflict and has
38:17
intent. What did you want to happen versus
38:19
what actually happened because of all these challenges
38:22
that stood in the way? And
38:24
you know, I wonder, so Ira
38:26
Glass's version of this, as you just said, how did
38:29
you think the situation was going
38:31
to work out before it happened? And then how did it really
38:33
work out? That's kind of a broader,
38:37
so Brandon Standens, how does your life turned out
38:39
differently than you expected it to? The
38:42
situation there is your life, but Ira Glass
38:45
broadens it out. It could be any situation,
38:47
not just your life. Is there any other
38:49
kind of way to bring up that kind
38:51
of conflict real quickly like that? Well,
38:54
I was going to say like that, so that
38:57
I call that a gap question, how
38:59
did this work out and how
39:01
did you think it would work out and how did it actually
39:03
work out? You could also
39:05
get a lot out of the person in
39:08
their decision making if you dig a little
39:10
deeper and be like, well,
39:13
were you worried? What were you doing
39:16
in that gap? Were you worrying about
39:18
how it was going to turn out?
39:20
Were you, you know, you're just like,
39:23
whatever, who cares? It tells you a
39:25
lot about the person's mentality and how
39:27
they look at problems and how they
39:30
solve problems. But I think another, to
39:33
answer your question, another way to ask that
39:35
could be like, because
39:37
we're assuming that a person
39:39
had a vision of something amazing
39:41
that would have happened and it actually did not
39:44
work out. But if you were to ask me
39:46
that question, I would have said I actually thought
39:48
my life would be way worse than
39:50
it turned out. You know what I mean? But yeah, I
39:53
was wondering that when you were saying this, because a
39:55
lot of this, like it's almost like when Brandon
39:57
stands and is everybody's
40:00
mildly depressed at the incident. That's
40:02
true. Work out the
40:04
way they thought. But what you just
40:06
said about, okay, so there's this gap, but
40:09
then the follow-up question is how do they
40:11
deal with that gap? That's where the meat is. So
40:14
it's like you open the gap and then
40:16
that's where you're kind of getting the seeds
40:19
and getting the
40:21
real meat of the fruit there. In
40:24
the article, I say exploring the gap can give you
40:26
a window into how the subject feels about their life.
40:29
Do they have regrets about the past or are
40:31
they grateful for their present? Are
40:33
they proud of the choices they made or do they
40:35
wish they could have a do-over? So
40:37
it's introducing regret. Another good
40:40
question is what if
40:42
something in your life that you regret happened
40:44
or that you regret a decision that you
40:46
made, something like that? So let me
40:48
ask you about that because a lot of
40:50
people say it's almost like a cliche
40:53
for people to answer that, oh, I
40:55
have no regrets because otherwise I wouldn't.
40:59
People do really have regrets. Of
41:01
course they do. If you
41:03
did this differently in 2012, maybe
41:07
your babies would be different
41:10
since then. So I get that. In a
41:12
science fiction sense, you have no regrets. But
41:15
really, how do you dig deeper for
41:17
that? How do you dig deeper for
41:19
the actual regrets? I think you set
41:21
the stage of assuming you would still
41:23
end up in the same place. Do
41:25
you have something that you regret that
41:27
you wish you could do over? Yeah,
41:30
that's a good way to do it. So you
41:33
get rid of their objection. Yes. Because
41:35
the one objection is that I
41:38
don't really want anything right now to change. But
41:42
so, okay, so number three, and this
41:44
is a good one because I always
41:47
am trying to figure out Joe Rogan, who
41:49
obviously has the most popular podcast on the
41:51
planet. And I really enjoy the way he
41:53
has conversations. And they are interviews, but they
41:56
don't seem like it. So
41:58
number three is a great one. interviewer
42:00
mirrors to gather more
42:02
intel. So maybe describe
42:04
what that is. Yeah, I
42:06
actually think you did it earlier, so we'll have
42:09
to listen back. But basically,
42:12
for Joe Rogan and a lot
42:14
of really, really amazing interviews, interviewers
42:16
do is a technique called mirroring,
42:19
which is, I'll say something and
42:21
I'll stop. And then the interviewer
42:24
will take the last phrase of
42:26
my last sentence and turn it
42:28
into a question. So the example
42:30
I gave is somebody went on
42:32
Joe Rogan's podcast and she said
42:34
a statistic 42% of
42:37
the rising generation have had a mental
42:39
health diagnosis. And then he said 42%
42:41
of kids have a mental health diagnosis.
42:43
So he's just repeating back her
42:46
statement is a question, expecting her
42:48
to elaborate more. Yeah,
42:51
and I think I
42:53
think that is really valuable because a
42:57
it shows that you know, that's valuable
42:59
a couple different layers. One is, as
43:01
you point out, that forces them to
43:03
go beyond the statistic and add more
43:05
context and information and so on. And
43:07
maybe tell a story, but it also
43:10
makes Joe Rogan in that specific
43:13
case, the voice of
43:15
the 10 million listeners or 50. However,
43:18
you know, the million listeners, because we're all
43:20
skeptical of it too, or we don't, we
43:22
don't really, it's mind boggling, or
43:24
how do we understand make sense of that statistic.
43:27
And so he becomes the
43:29
voice of all his
43:31
readers as opposed to being Joe Rogan
43:34
interviewing somebody. Yeah. And it
43:36
like, you're right. It, it
43:38
asks a question out of genuine
43:40
curiosity, but it also introduces skepticism.
43:42
Is that true? And they
43:44
end up looking it up on the show to
43:46
see if it was true. How
43:49
does he like a lot of times, he
43:52
just gets into these just conversations with people
43:54
though, like, I'll have, I'll have like, I
43:57
saw one recently, like Louis C.K. was on his
43:59
show. And they
44:01
were just talking about the benefits
44:03
of cold showers, you know, the Wim
44:06
Hof cold shower,
44:08
you know, cold plunges method. And Joe Warren was saying,
44:10
as good as Louis C.K. is like, I don't really
44:12
care. And I
44:14
guess he sort of trusted Louis C.K. as
44:16
an interesting enough guess that they could talk
44:19
about anything and it'll be interesting content, which
44:21
is hard to do really for many
44:23
podcasts and interviews. Like you can't just
44:25
let the, you just can't
44:27
let the topics be about anything. But Joe Rogen
44:30
does it really well. Yes.
44:32
And, but, but also like right now,
44:34
the way we're talking, this is how
44:36
we would be talking, even if
44:38
this wasn't being recorded. But it's
44:41
also because this is my, I think third time
44:43
on your show. So I feel very comfortable with
44:45
you. If it was my first time, I would
44:47
be like, um, well, number three says that they
44:49
explore like that, but you know, it's
44:52
like, it's like, he's already, Louis C.K. is his
44:54
friend. So it's like almost as if we
44:57
are listening to a conversation between friends
44:59
and that's the magic of it. I
45:02
think that's right. And I think like
45:04
my favorite podcast, I
45:06
don't know. And I would probably
45:08
have to say my best podcasts have been
45:10
where it's a repeat guest. Yes. And
45:13
so I, pretty early on, I learned the value
45:15
of having repeat guests, like just continuing the conversation
45:17
we've always been having. And that
45:20
is a great
45:23
technique. And that's what Joe Rogen does. He basically just
45:25
has his friends on and, uh, and
45:28
they just have a fun time. Multiple
45:30
times. Yeah. I mean, he's,
45:32
he, he's the king of repeat guests. And
45:35
I guess like that's true for Howard Stern as well. And
45:38
because they, they, because people are listening
45:40
for them, like you listen, you turn
45:42
into Joe Rogen, maybe in part for
45:44
the guests, but also largely because, uh,
45:47
you know, his listeners love him. Howard's
45:50
listeners love him. Oprah's lives. They love her.
45:53
Almost doesn't matter who they're interviewing. Yeah. And
45:55
it's also, there's something about the interviewing
45:57
your friend thing where, um, if you.
46:00
have some sort of relationship
46:02
or connection or friendship before
46:04
the interview, the interviewer, it's
46:06
not as abrasive for them to ask a
46:09
hard question. You know, like, if somebody says
46:11
something, and they're my friend, I'd
46:13
be like, Come on, you know, that's complete BS. Can
46:15
you tell the actual story? You know, like, that's not
46:17
as reverse as if I didn't know them. And I
46:20
said that. Yeah, and
46:22
I think the goal in an interview, let's
46:24
say it's a first time guess, my goal
46:26
always is to try to get
46:29
to that point as quickly as possible
46:31
in the interview. And sometimes it's not
46:33
easy. Like, it's really hard to kind
46:36
of get that level of intimacy in
46:38
a first interview. But I tried
46:41
to get that, but it's difficult. Yeah,
46:43
definitely. Go
46:58
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47:47
number four here is, and this is
47:49
one that is a critical one because
47:51
I used to be accused of doing
47:54
this. When I first started my podcast, people
47:56
would say to me, let your
47:58
subject talk. And
48:01
so number four you have is the great a great
48:03
interview masters the art of interruption The
48:05
best interviewers know when to interject and you
48:07
have a great example. What can you talk
48:09
about your example? Yes So
48:12
yeah, you have to interject Otherwise I I
48:14
personally really hate it when somebody goes on
48:16
and on and on and then there's they
48:18
make so many points in that Really long
48:20
monologue, but the host hasn't stopped them to
48:23
explore it. So they just go unexamined A
48:26
really good example is Oprah with her
48:28
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle bombshell interview
48:30
that everybody tuned in to watch So
48:33
Oprah going into this knows that this is
48:35
gonna be watched by millions of people. She's
48:38
well aware of the pressure She
48:40
knows that she can't just let
48:42
Meghan and Harry talk and say whatever
48:44
they want She has to interrupt them
48:46
and examine every single thing that they
48:48
said. So at one point Meghan
48:51
Markle says something like well
48:54
The palace was really concerned with
48:56
what color skin my baby would
48:58
have before he was born and
49:00
Oprah just I Don't think
49:02
Megan meant I think it just kind of came out
49:04
I don't think she planned to say this you
49:07
see her like starting to like fidget
49:09
in her seat She gets super uncomfortable
49:11
Oprah goes hold she like throws
49:13
her hands up in there says hold on
49:15
hold on I have to she says hold
49:17
up stop right now and she goes there
49:19
was a Conversation with you
49:21
about how dark your baby is going
49:23
to be so she again mirrors says
49:26
exactly what Meghan Markle said in her Last
49:28
communication, but she does it in this like
49:30
big showy manner Now the
49:32
spotlight is back on Megan and Megan's like,
49:34
oh actually actually no, it wasn't a conversation
49:37
with me. It was with Harry I wasn't
49:39
there Also, I
49:41
she says she didn't hear
49:43
it directly from the source and she declined to
49:45
reveal who said it because it may be too
49:48
Damaging if Oprah hadn't stopped her
49:50
people would assume that somebody told
49:53
Megan to her face What color
49:55
skin will your base like it's
49:57
crazy. So it's in that way
50:00
way as an interviewer, you're almost like
50:02
a, you're fact checking on
50:04
the fly. And that's what Oprah
50:06
did here. It was really, really well done. And
50:08
also, I guess Megan, if
50:10
Oprah hadn't done that, maybe
50:13
Megan would have been obsessing in
50:15
her mind for the rest of the interview,
50:17
like, Oh my gosh, what did I say?
50:19
Do I have to clarify this? So Oprah gives her
50:21
a chance to kind of like soften it. Yeah.
50:24
And, and, and that builds a
50:26
rapport and a relationship. And you
50:28
would give another example with Letterman
50:30
and Kim Kardashian about her political views.
50:34
And so good. Yeah. Like, you
50:37
know, that's a, that's a bigger example,
50:39
but, and you, you mentioned that Letterman
50:41
Letterman is an interesting interviewer because he's
50:43
so quirky. I'm not even quite
50:46
sure that he is. You
50:48
know, it's an, if it's a
50:50
style you want to aspire to, because his interviews
50:53
are very quick and a lot of it is
50:55
surface, even in the, is not so much in
50:57
his Netflix show, but older Netflix show, but in
50:59
his main late night show that he
51:02
did for so many years, you know,
51:05
it's, he's really just trying to get laughs
51:07
from the audience and maybe a tiny spark
51:09
in the interviewer in the interview. So it's
51:12
not, it's not that intense,
51:14
but he does, he
51:16
does, I would say more than interruption. He
51:19
does like what I would call like a
51:21
pattern disrupt. It's like, he'll do something weird.
51:23
Yes. Yes. And David Letterman for me is
51:25
one of the weirdest, like I have a
51:27
really hard time watching his interviews because I'm
51:30
like, he, he interrupts, I think too much,
51:32
but it's part of his thing. And then
51:34
he'll say something about himself. I'm like, David,
51:36
I don't want to know this about you.
51:39
I want to hear about Kim Kardashian. But
51:42
like that's part of his style. And
51:44
again, it's very hard to imitate because
51:46
it's him. It's very much him. And
51:48
in this example, for the people listening
51:50
who haven't read the article, he basically
51:52
sits down with Kim Kardashian. He said
51:54
he wants to ask her about her political
51:57
loyalties because she's previously
51:59
in. Hillary Clinton, but then she
52:01
worked with Donald Trump to get this
52:03
woman out of prison. So Letterman goes,
52:05
do you feel like what's being done
52:07
on behalf of sentencing reform now via
52:10
this current administration in any way allows
52:12
the balance of democracy back in a
52:14
corridor of viability? And
52:16
Kim Kardashian is like, I have no idea what
52:18
you just said. He goes,
52:20
I'll try again. I'm grateful for what you're
52:22
doing, but it doesn't make me feel better
52:24
about the current administration. And she
52:26
starts, she starts
52:29
answering. I understand, and he interrupts her very
52:31
abruptly and goes, let me ask you who
52:33
you're voting for. And so
52:35
like, I think part of his technique, and I
52:38
don't even know if he does this consciously, he
52:40
starts out in this very like confusing
52:42
place. He
52:44
confuses his interviewee. By the time they
52:46
figure out what's going on, he just
52:49
interrupts with a very direct question. And
52:51
in this way is the interviewee you
52:53
want to answer because you now understand
52:55
the question. You know, and I wonder,
52:57
I don't know if he does that
52:59
consciously because I think he's a very like smart
53:02
intellectual guy. So he might have
53:04
been wondering, oh, the corridors
53:06
of democracy, right? Like, like he might
53:08
be thinking like, Oh, she
53:11
since she's like Clint Hillary
53:13
Clinton, what is she doing with Trump?
53:15
So he's saying in this very nuanced
53:17
political way, maybe he realizes in
53:19
the interview that he really just wants to
53:21
know who she's voting for. Yes,
53:24
that can very much be it. And
53:27
also he realizes he's I don't want to
53:29
say he's speaking above her head. I'm sure
53:31
she's very intelligent also. But yeah, he maybe
53:33
he realized he wasn't being so clear. And
53:36
so then he's smart enough to get as
53:38
direct as possible. Yes, by
53:41
the way, why can't she just
53:43
because she likes one candidate, I know, why
53:45
can't she do something effective for somebody who's
53:47
president United States, regardless of who they are?
53:50
That's how polarizes become. We
53:52
cannot have this dichotomy of
53:54
Kim Kardashian James. Right.
53:57
Like, like people on both sides, people
53:59
are willing to. break the law to
54:01
get their candidates in. And
54:03
it's just like just ridiculous how polarizing people
54:06
have been as opposed to wanting to just
54:08
be just do good in society. Exactly.
54:11
I agree. Let's
54:13
see. Number five, they
54:15
make assumptions on purpose.
54:18
And I think that's a
54:20
little bit of the gotcha thing as well. But
54:22
but you use the Oprah example again.
54:25
Yeah, and it doesn't have to be done in a
54:27
gotcha way. It could be like, here's how I understand
54:29
it. And then you let the person agree or disagree
54:32
with you. I think
54:34
in this one, I wanted to talk about
54:36
how the interviewer is a representative of
54:38
their reader or listener or whatever. So
54:41
Oprah knew that in and she kind
54:43
of addressed the elephant in the room,
54:45
which was she knew that the person
54:47
watching at home is watching this. And
54:50
Harry is kind of painting himself as the victim of
54:53
the system. And she's like, Oh, man, oh, man,
54:56
I know what people are thinking, I have to
54:58
ask it. And so she says, and it's not
55:00
done in a very confrontational way, just kind of
55:02
like, like in a funny
55:05
way. She says, please explain how
55:07
you Prince Harry raised in a
55:10
palace in a life of privilege,
55:12
literally a prince, how you were
55:14
trapped. And it's like, she
55:16
makes it, you know, she
55:19
addresses that. And then he, yeah,
55:22
and then he responds with, oh, well, it's
55:24
a system of wealth and all this stuff
55:26
that you're trapped in. But she doesn't buy
55:28
his response. So then she makes the assumption
55:31
she says, so the impression of the world,
55:33
maybe it's a false impression, is that all
55:35
these years before Megan, you were living your
55:37
life as a royal prince Harry, the beloved
55:39
Prince Harry, and that you were enjoying that
55:42
life. We didn't get the impression that you
55:44
were feeling trapped in that life. So she
55:46
says, like, here's what we assumed. Is that
55:48
true or not? And it forces him to
55:50
take a stance. Yeah.
55:52
And it's interesting too, because as opposed to
55:55
the Joe Rogan example, where he, he
55:57
really becomes the voice of the listener, like
56:00
Oh, we're all of us 10 million people
56:02
are skeptical or we want to know more
56:04
about this thing she's almost
56:07
like a Translator
56:10
like it's as if there's a gap
56:12
between what her she
56:14
understands there's a gap between what her audience
56:16
thinks and what Harry is saying
56:18
and see she's trying to bridge that gap as
56:20
opposed to as opposed
56:22
to just being the voice of The
56:25
the listener she's trying to translate
56:28
What the listener might be thinking and what Harry might
56:30
be thinking so there's a there's an intersection Yeah,
56:33
she keeps giving them the opportunity to explain
56:35
themselves And then I watched an
56:37
interview with her about her interview and she said
56:39
that's all I was trying to do I was
56:42
just trying to let them Explain
56:44
their decision and you know, I think she did
56:47
a great job Yeah,
56:49
and so Howard Stern. How does he you mentioned
56:51
Howard Stern to I Have
56:54
my own thoughts on his style, but how can you
56:56
talk about the example you get for Howard Stern? Yeah,
56:59
so I I will admit I was not
57:01
a big Howard Stern listener Until
57:04
I wrote this and then a bunch of
57:06
people told me to go, you know watch
57:08
and listen to his interviews and
57:10
what I noticed is that he he
57:12
I Don't know if
57:14
he thinks that he knows these people or he
57:16
just like makes assumptions and let's let's
57:19
them Elaborate but for
57:21
example with Lindsay Lohan He said a
57:23
bunch of stuff where he assumed things
57:25
about how she thinks and
57:28
he says, you know When you see like
57:30
an Emma Stone or Jessica Chastain, they got
57:32
a similar look to you I can tell
57:34
you thought about this when you see some
57:36
of those movies don't you sit there and
57:38
go? Oh, I can effing do those movies.
57:40
It's gotta be driving you nuts So
57:42
he claims that he knows how Lindsay Lohan
57:44
feels and she's like, yeah, that is
57:46
exactly what I think you
57:49
know, that's interesting like kind of
57:51
putting yourself on the on the side of
57:55
The interviewee like the person you're interviewing and
57:57
he does a Very good. It
58:00
may go along with because What? He's very
58:02
powerful guys so. Yeah. And then
58:04
is in there is kind of taking their
58:06
side so. He. He I think I think
58:09
with him. He's. Very interesting because
58:11
I I think he tries to. Get
58:13
dirt. About everybody during the
58:15
interview. And. They all the
58:18
At first I noticed a lot of
58:20
interviews people say no I don't want
58:22
to talk about that was and by
58:24
doing this technique. He. Kind of
58:26
gets in their head and off at he's on
58:28
their side and he's. He's. Not the
58:30
listeners voice, he's bear voice and finally
58:32
there like I'm talking to myself. So
58:34
finally they are able to see like
58:37
I saw him interview Jonah Hill once.
58:40
And. He. Was like
58:42
so when you had that your first role
58:44
did you start like of insects of Loud
58:46
Girls as even though you're kind of fat
58:48
such as a he's a very direct and
58:50
his what and don't join else really on
58:52
car was like our our ill arms about
58:54
that we just talk about the movie and.
58:57
But. He like. So. So
58:59
they they talked to him and he's doing
59:01
this where he's like on their silence but
59:04
he keeps every now and then how ass
59:06
like the real hard question and. That.
59:08
Giorno the I was a book by the
59:10
end. Jonah Hill's like listing all the girls
59:12
he has eczema now way yeah like he.
59:14
he just works his way in and he
59:16
just keeps poking but then he'll get back
59:18
to like our of and I'm on your
59:20
side. I'm like. You. Know. Yeah.
59:24
You know, and and I think it's Ie
59:26
combines He uses this technique that you're talking
59:28
about the route to. Sort. Of
59:30
get inside and and the person's head
59:32
and then finally there was super comfortable
59:34
so they say they forget the on
59:36
the radio and eight hours. Yeah
59:38
I watched as forget which sorry it was
59:41
that they were explaining the experience of way
59:43
they shared so much on the shelves and
59:45
they were like it almost feels like you
59:47
enter the site different saying and there's no
59:50
cameras know there's nothing You forget that all
59:52
this stuff is around you and you're just
59:54
having conversation and in it ends and you're
59:56
like why did I just say you know
59:58
it's like a that. Feeling of one?
1:00:00
Just half it and and that's the
1:00:03
best. Interviewers make it seem like time
1:00:05
just go flies by and you don't
1:00:07
even know what's going on. The.
1:00:09
I've heard that to from people who have been
1:00:11
on Stern Show that. At. First they
1:00:13
tell themselves in May I'm not going to
1:00:15
talk about X, Y, and Z and by
1:00:18
the end they can figure out how it
1:00:20
happened. But they talked about all those things
1:00:22
they want to talk about. Crazy.
1:00:25
So. Number Six years. the
1:00:27
great interviewers remove barriers to
1:00:30
enhance intimacy. And
1:00:32
I'll do this. example of son Evans said.
1:00:34
Shown as as he has a usually
1:00:36
that. The obvious example is you remove
1:00:38
chairs and are you move tables and
1:00:41
things like that in between the interviewer
1:00:43
an interview he to build intimacy quickly.
1:00:45
I'm so Oprah sit on the same
1:00:47
couch like things like that but it's
1:00:50
not just physical objects that you can
1:00:52
remove to build into the sea is
1:00:54
sometimes like an election evans with the
1:00:56
hot ones our they eat progressively harder
1:00:59
of chicken wings or throughout the interview
1:01:01
it's. You. Are on removing like
1:01:03
the barrier of like you're breathing down
1:01:05
the guess composer because everybody comes in
1:01:07
like super the way I'm ready to
1:01:10
do this interview and then by the
1:01:12
end when the real eating of really
1:01:14
spicy chicken wings like they're crying, your
1:01:16
nose is running, their throat is burning
1:01:18
and you know a lot of them
1:01:21
just can't handle it in you see
1:01:23
like Tyra Banks had a ridiculous reaction.
1:01:25
Of the show you see their
1:01:27
true true colors. On So
1:01:29
Eat Our A included this clip
1:01:31
of Sydney Sweeney. but she's she's
1:01:33
really trying so hard to hold
1:01:35
on to her composure In Nc
1:01:37
like please like a issue her
1:01:40
voice is seeking. it's super high
1:01:42
pitch exacerbating the watch. So.
1:01:44
What do you do like? like. I. Used to
1:01:46
do party has in person before Cove it
1:01:48
but since Cove is very rare that I
1:01:50
do a podcast in person and and you
1:01:53
probably interview on the phone or zoom or
1:01:55
whatever like how do you do this technique
1:01:57
if there's a lot of i built in
1:01:59
bed the years. And. Yeah, I
1:02:01
mean it is a super hard to
1:02:03
do is it normally the best interviews
1:02:05
especially the ones like a magazine profiles
1:02:07
for example you're doing you often doing
1:02:09
an activity with the person so you
1:02:11
you know whether you're at a restaurant
1:02:13
having dinner, you see how they move
1:02:15
through the world, how they treat the
1:02:17
weight, how they you know all the
1:02:19
south context clues that they can't just
1:02:22
tell you have a generous person well
1:02:24
you didn't even leave a tip you
1:02:26
know and that that anything on but.
1:02:29
Thanks. This is hard because I
1:02:31
can tell you how ran by he
1:02:33
is. Unless you see me and my
1:02:35
natural habitat, it's hard. Ah, I don't
1:02:37
know era when you think when I.
1:02:40
I I think it's I think it's the repeat.
1:02:42
Guess thing is yeah one way so you see
1:02:44
you can have a hard time that first time
1:02:46
but then it gets easier. I. Think
1:02:49
the pre interview like you know you're on for
1:02:51
your little bad news or shouting. And.
1:02:54
But. I think I think it's really hard
1:02:56
now or or sometimes. I'll.
1:02:58
Try to do an activity and then
1:03:01
a week later. Do. An interview and
1:03:03
but again, I swear so it's hard to do
1:03:05
that. It is also
1:03:07
on. One interesting thing at
1:03:09
a could be that you sound out a
1:03:12
really interesting piece of information about the person
1:03:14
in you. bring it up like in the
1:03:16
middle of the interview. It's kind of like
1:03:18
us small bomb goes off. Words like oh
1:03:21
wow, how did you know this and that
1:03:23
breaks down the little like a facade a
1:03:25
little. That. I
1:03:27
try to do so. I try to find. Like.
1:03:31
The odd things in their backgrounds.
1:03:33
That. I could bring up and then
1:03:36
connect. With. Things they might
1:03:38
be saying now. His mom I don't
1:03:40
really have a good example, but. He
1:03:43
will you measure before how like you you
1:03:45
read the some eat or you you knew
1:03:47
someone did peers the Eiger university Athens So
1:03:49
I might go as far as the read
1:03:51
the Phd. These. Their deceased the
1:03:53
road and try to find. Some.
1:03:56
connection between that thesis and what's going
1:03:58
on in their lives right now and
1:04:01
or or relate
1:04:03
it to you know related
1:04:06
to something they're doing now in a way that they might
1:04:08
not even have thought of and so I'll
1:04:10
try to kind of like you know
1:04:12
confuse them with over researching exactly
1:04:15
exactly just like something that's
1:04:17
unconventional they're not expecting yeah
1:04:21
now this is a really important one
1:04:23
and number seven here's a great
1:04:25
interviewer strives to capture the juice of
1:04:28
the story and yet Barbara Walters interviewing
1:04:30
Monica Lewinsky and there's a lot of
1:04:32
different angles it's like a you know
1:04:35
it's a president of the United States it's the
1:04:38
sexual things everybody wants to hear like
1:04:40
the sexiest details yeah as sort
1:04:42
it is and it might be but
1:04:44
with with this
1:04:47
example you give about Monica Lewinsky named
1:04:49
Barbara Walters it really is the juice
1:04:51
of the story like how
1:04:54
she was worried about what her mother would
1:04:57
think and we can all relate to
1:04:59
that doing something that's gonna be public and like
1:05:01
oh what are people gonna think if
1:05:03
they found find this out yeah and that's
1:05:06
that you know Barbara Walters
1:05:08
is really good at that yes and
1:05:10
it's like it's um oh it's
1:05:13
such a good interview for so many
1:05:15
reasons but it's mainly because Barbara Walters
1:05:18
knows that she doesn't go there I
1:05:20
mean she asks all the direct newsworthy
1:05:22
questions but what she does is like
1:05:24
she gets into Monica's head and by
1:05:27
the end you're like I get it
1:05:29
I get why she's in love with
1:05:31
Bill Clinton but also at the
1:05:33
same time you're like I cannot believe this
1:05:35
happened it's it's it's fascinating
1:05:38
it's like a masterclass in
1:05:40
interviewing and she humanizes Monica
1:05:42
to the point where you're
1:05:44
like wow like you know
1:05:46
young girl bad decision-making all
1:05:48
this stuff irresponsible president but
1:05:51
you it's like she refers to
1:05:53
the juice is the details of the
1:05:55
story that humanized the person that you're
1:05:58
interviewing and Barbara says Don't
1:06:00
be so intent on getting just the facts
1:06:02
that you take out all the juice. Yeah.
1:06:05
And it's interesting because she kind of layers
1:06:08
into this. So like,
1:06:10
you know, you like Lewinsky says, I
1:06:13
felt very responsible. And Barbara
1:06:15
Walter says, responsible for what? Exactly.
1:06:18
And by the way, that was, there's a nuance there
1:06:20
because she didn't say, why do you feel responsible? I
1:06:22
would have taken it in a completely different direction. Lewinsky
1:06:24
say, well, I agreed to go into
1:06:26
his office, blah, blah, blah. And
1:06:28
she says, responsible for what? And
1:06:31
that led to the discussion of her mother. But
1:06:33
then that allows her to
1:06:35
get enough intimacy with Monica
1:06:37
that she says, Monica, are
1:06:39
you still in love with Bill Clinton? Right. And she
1:06:41
uses Monica's name. She says Monica. She doesn't say, are
1:06:43
you still in love with Bill Clinton? So it's more
1:06:45
personal when she uses the name. And if she had
1:06:48
started off with, are you still in love with Bill
1:06:50
Clinton? I think that would have been a different answer,
1:06:53
a different interview then. Yeah.
1:06:56
The whole interview like builds on itself.
1:06:58
It's fascinating to watch. I think
1:07:00
that's really hard. I think, and as
1:07:02
you mentioned later, the only way to
1:07:04
get that skill is doing lots of
1:07:07
interviews. Yeah, it's true. And
1:07:09
it's like, you, you notice so many things
1:07:11
as you're watching it. Like at one point
1:07:13
Monica Lewinsky, I didn't include this, but in
1:07:15
the interview she says, you
1:07:18
know, at one point my mom, like I
1:07:20
couldn't shower alone. My mom would sit in
1:07:22
the bathroom with me while I showered because
1:07:24
they were all afraid that I might do
1:07:26
something. She's obviously talking about like, you know,
1:07:28
my take her own life, but
1:07:31
Barbara Walters is very skilled at like
1:07:33
knowing when to dig deeper and knowing
1:07:36
when to kind of back off. And
1:07:39
she says this in another interview,
1:07:42
Barbara Walters says that she's like, you
1:07:44
know, for the really, really painful stuff,
1:07:46
I'm not going to keep digging until I
1:07:48
break you basically. I'm going to like get
1:07:50
there and then back off. And
1:07:52
that's a skill and that's like a, you
1:07:55
know, social awareness skill that not
1:07:57
everybody has. And also
1:07:59
knowing that that she could go back
1:08:01
to it later. Like she's
1:08:03
patient, Barbara Walters. And
1:08:05
again, she's almost become a
1:08:07
cliche interviewer. I mean, not her, but
1:08:10
like just the way people think about
1:08:12
her. But I think people underestimate her
1:08:15
full power as an interviewer, Barbara
1:08:17
Walters. Totally. Totally.
1:08:20
I mean, cause then she later on, she's doing stuff like
1:08:22
the view and all that. But you may, you give an
1:08:24
example and the next thing, challenging
1:08:27
a subject's perspective with genuine curiosity. She
1:08:29
interviewed a Shah of Iran, you
1:08:32
know, right before he's getting overthrown. She
1:08:34
was like the biggest interviewer on the planet at that point. I
1:08:37
know. I know. And
1:08:39
it's interesting. A lot of times she became friends. I think
1:08:41
that was kind of like, wait a second. She became friends
1:08:43
with the people that she interviewed. She became friends with Monica
1:08:45
Lewinsky. And I believe
1:08:47
the Shah of Iran. But
1:08:50
it's interesting because like, I
1:08:52
do think like a really
1:08:54
in depth human interview has
1:08:57
no choice but to leave the people like,
1:08:59
Oh, we know each other on a different
1:09:01
level. You know? Yeah.
1:09:04
I think when you, when you
1:09:06
really are able to go a couple
1:09:08
of layers deep and then, you know,
1:09:10
she was asking, she was trying to ask him and
1:09:12
talk to him about his views on women and,
1:09:15
you know, coming from a Muslim
1:09:17
country and so on. In 1977. Yeah.
1:09:21
Yeah. And, you know, on the
1:09:23
one hand, I don't know how
1:09:27
completely we treat women differently now, but
1:09:29
at least at that point in the
1:09:31
70s was the height of the, you
1:09:34
know, glorious dynamism tradition, original
1:09:36
feminism movement and things like
1:09:38
the equal rights amendment were
1:09:40
being discussed. And, and so
1:09:43
it was a different conversation, but it was still a
1:09:45
very big conversation in America, maybe for the first time.
1:09:48
And I don't
1:09:50
know. It might've actually been, you know, then
1:09:52
a year later, he's overthrown and the U.S.
1:09:54
really didn't help him. And we got left
1:09:57
with what we have now, this kind
1:09:59
of. you know religious you
1:10:02
know super religious government iran that most of
1:10:04
the people don't like most of the people
1:10:06
wanted the sha of iran in iran and
1:10:08
now most of the people in iran are
1:10:10
secular and they're ruled by this. Super
1:10:13
religious and do not know any of
1:10:15
this okay i like iran. Does
1:10:18
not like their government like the people there
1:10:20
they and that's why they they literally beg
1:10:22
the outside world to understand this because they
1:10:24
don't want to get bombed if
1:10:26
their government does something like they
1:10:28
prefer not to be they were
1:10:30
completely western country under the shot
1:10:32
almost not completely but almost. And
1:10:35
now they're not but they don't want they want
1:10:37
people to know that so that. They
1:10:40
don't get blamed if i ran bombs israel
1:10:42
they don't want to get bombed back if
1:10:44
they're not like their government
1:10:47
i'm gonna do some research after this. Yeah
1:10:50
and i think that was a mistake for for
1:10:53
jimmy carter at the time to not. Help
1:10:56
the the shot a little more because we yeah
1:10:58
we didn't like some of the things he did.
1:11:01
But that's like every country in the world will like
1:11:04
most of the things the french do either but
1:11:06
we're still there ally. Oh there's
1:11:08
so many layers here. Yeah
1:11:11
and and and barbara walters is
1:11:13
you know i think she understood
1:11:15
that like he's a dictator but
1:11:18
he was still kind of our friend and
1:11:20
then we we can't can you can't
1:11:22
condone you don't condone everything your friends
1:11:24
do obviously and particularly at that geopolitical
1:11:26
level but he was certainly much better
1:11:29
than than what happened. Yeah.
1:11:32
You know number nine is they know all
1:11:34
humans seek genuine validation and
1:11:36
this is really important to. Yeah
1:11:39
this i found fascinating because opera
1:11:43
talks about how pretty much
1:11:45
every person that she's interviewed including
1:11:48
george w bush brocco bebop Beyonce
1:11:50
anybody she's interviewed. After
1:11:52
the interview and they always ask i
1:11:54
bet you you get this question to
1:11:57
you there like who was that good
1:11:59
that okay. And it's like, and
1:12:01
she's like, what do you mean? You're a Beyonce.
1:12:03
Of course it was okay. But like everybody has
1:12:05
that small piece of them that's like, did
1:12:08
you like what I said? And do you
1:12:10
think this will resonate with people? And I
1:12:12
think a great interviewer's job is to make
1:12:14
the person feel validated in
1:12:17
like, in like actually listened to during
1:12:19
the interview. Yeah.
1:12:21
And I think this happens at every
1:12:23
level. Like, so for many years I
1:12:25
did standup comedy and then I owned
1:12:27
part of a standup comedy club. So
1:12:29
I would see all these great comedians
1:12:31
perform on stage. You know, they'd be
1:12:33
trying out material for their special or
1:12:35
whatever. And no
1:12:37
matter how famous the comedian was, like
1:12:40
they always asked that too. Like, was that okay? Was that
1:12:42
good? Did you think the audience liked me? And
1:12:45
people are, people are human. They
1:12:47
want to know, they want to be liked. Exactly.
1:12:51
I thought that was really like, I was like, I
1:12:53
would have never thought, but yeah, I do it too.
1:12:55
It's crazy. Have
1:12:57
you interviewed any like hardcore criminals?
1:13:00
Oh my God. No, I don't think so. Like,
1:13:05
like anybody who's done in jail? Yes.
1:13:07
I interviewed, oh
1:13:09
my gosh. The
1:13:12
guy who Leonardo DiCaprio played in Catch Me If
1:13:14
You Can. Oh yeah. Frank
1:13:17
Agbignale. Frank Agbignale. I interviewed him as
1:13:19
well. Yeah, exactly. So fascinating. He was a big
1:13:21
criminal, but then he worked for the FBI. So
1:13:23
I don't know if that counts. Yeah, no.
1:13:25
And a lot of
1:13:27
times, you know, I
1:13:30
interviewed someone recently who committed
1:13:32
a fairly big fraud, like $400 million Ponzi
1:13:35
scheme. And
1:13:37
he went to jail for nine years. And
1:13:41
I think it was very important for
1:13:43
me interviewing him that
1:13:46
I didn't treat him like someone who did
1:13:48
something really bad, but I
1:13:50
still wanted to make sure my listeners knew
1:13:53
that it was clear this person did something bad
1:13:56
and I was against it. So it sometimes is
1:13:58
a tricky thing. Yeah, yeah,
1:14:00
because you're trying to be empathetic,
1:14:04
but there has to be a clear line of like,
1:14:06
you know, this is, I mean, we can all agree
1:14:08
that what you did was not right. You
1:14:11
know, it was tricky to like, like I interviewed
1:14:13
Andrew Tate. And okay, you know,
1:14:15
and Andrew Tate, obviously,
1:14:19
that's a whole mess. If you're trying
1:14:21
to be like by everybody, don't interview
1:14:23
Andrew Tate because nobody will. Right.
1:14:26
Everybody's gonna make a judgment. Oh, you must
1:14:28
agree with everything he says, or, or you
1:14:30
must like him or
1:14:32
he used you or whatever. So you
1:14:34
sometimes the interviewer has to balance all
1:14:36
of these things too. Yeah,
1:14:39
it's it's so hard. It's like,
1:14:42
you know, these people's views
1:14:45
would never go challenged if I didn't
1:14:47
interview them. You know what I mean?
1:14:49
Like, for anybody interviewing a dictator, are
1:14:51
you just quote unquote, giving them a
1:14:54
platform? Or are you interviewing them and
1:14:56
challenging what they think? So that more
1:14:58
people can, like, hear that it's BS?
1:15:01
I don't know. It's it's really difficult.
1:15:03
Like, let's say you had to interview Putin. Okay.
1:15:07
So now, okay, so
1:15:09
there's so many layers in which
1:15:12
you from Bulgaria, he's from Russia, this will
1:15:14
be a tough one, James. Right?
1:15:16
Like, for your family, when they might
1:15:18
say don't talk to him, or, and
1:15:21
then people might think you're will
1:15:23
make a judgment about whether you're a
1:15:25
Democrat or Republican. Oh, you know, only
1:15:27
Republicans would talk to Putin. But obviously,
1:15:30
he would be a fascinating person interview. I mean, he's on,
1:15:33
you know, he's a leader of Russia. He's
1:15:35
he's conducting a war. Whether you
1:15:37
agree with that war or not. Yeah, it's I would,
1:15:40
no matter what he did, I would
1:15:42
interview him. Yeah, well,
1:15:45
it's so tricky. It's like the whole
1:15:47
point of journalism,
1:15:50
in general, is to interview
1:15:52
people who are doing things
1:15:55
that are newsworthy, that are affecting the
1:15:57
world, all this stuff, by not by
1:16:00
ignoring someone doesn't make them go away.
1:16:02
In fact, it actually
1:16:04
fuels them more. I
1:16:07
don't know. There's a there's a whole
1:16:09
philosophical discussion on this. Yeah,
1:16:11
it gets back to the thing of you
1:16:14
have to join a team and then and
1:16:16
then only talk to the people
1:16:18
that that team approves. Exactly. And
1:16:20
it's like, I want nobody's team. I
1:16:22
just want to hear the information and
1:16:24
then challenge that information. Yeah,
1:16:26
like I, I was once on
1:16:28
the podcast talking to Mehdi Hassan who
1:16:30
had this show on MSNBC. Yes, there's
1:16:32
a profile on him right now. Oh,
1:16:35
yeah, I have seen that and I I
1:16:38
told him I'm neutral. I really tried
1:16:40
very hard to be neutral so I could talk
1:16:42
to everybody and not feel
1:16:44
biased. And he said there's no way
1:16:46
to be neutral. He challenged me on
1:16:49
that. And we were going to follow
1:16:51
up at some point and he was going to prove
1:16:53
to me that I wasn't neutral. And maybe
1:16:55
I'm not I don't know. But it was
1:16:57
the thing. I mean, I guess nobody's
1:16:59
truly neutral. But it's but I also,
1:17:02
you know, completely reject the
1:17:04
idea that you're either a Republican
1:17:06
or liberal. Like I don't fall
1:17:08
into any category. It's like really
1:17:10
hard. Maybe you're not neutral. You're
1:17:12
just like, not part of any
1:17:14
one group. Yeah,
1:17:16
where you have to like, do everything
1:17:18
that group says. Yeah. And
1:17:21
but then I wonder, look, the
1:17:24
podcasts that are the most popular take
1:17:26
a stance and are really biased. That's
1:17:29
true. I'm just not like that. Yeah,
1:17:31
it's that's not your style. And
1:17:34
the good thing with what you do is that you
1:17:36
could profile anybody. Yeah,
1:17:38
you're trying to take lessons from them. And
1:17:41
so you could choose. They don't they don't
1:17:43
you know, you you've seldom will profile like
1:17:45
a political person. That's
1:17:47
the thing like, I truly believe
1:17:49
that you can learn from awful
1:17:52
people about what not to do. You
1:17:54
know, like there's there's lessons in everybody.
1:17:56
It's not just like the good moral
1:17:59
whatever. people that we put on these like
1:18:01
pedestals, it's also the people like, oh my
1:18:03
god, look at how their life turned out.
1:18:05
I don't want that at all. Yeah,
1:18:09
like, like who's who would you
1:18:11
say is like the worst person in the world right now?
1:18:13
Would you would you interview that person? Oh
1:18:16
my god, I don't even know. It's
1:18:18
also like, you know, nobody
1:18:21
is like only evil or only good but
1:18:23
there are some pretty some
1:18:26
people are insane so that they are mentally ill
1:18:28
and bad. Okay, for
1:18:30
example, here's an example. So right now
1:18:32
I'm working on an article that's similar
1:18:34
to this interview in techniques, but it's
1:18:36
on public speaking. And I'm, you
1:18:39
know, on Twitter I asked who is the
1:18:41
greatest public speaker of all time. And of
1:18:43
course people came up with Hitler Mussolini, a
1:18:45
bunch of cult leaders, a bunch of other
1:18:48
dictators. And I'm like, I
1:18:50
get it. But in my article
1:18:52
right now I'm saying like, I understand that
1:18:54
these people are probably amazing public
1:18:57
speakers, I'm not going to include
1:18:59
them just because I do not
1:19:01
want to like feature their stories.
1:19:04
But the world's greatest speakers all
1:19:06
use similar techniques. That's not to
1:19:08
say they did or did not use
1:19:11
this is just I'm choosing my editorial
1:19:13
style is choosing not to include dictators
1:19:15
and cult leaders in this article. It's
1:19:18
really interesting because like, you
1:19:21
know, you're right, they all use
1:19:23
similar techniques. And
1:19:25
that's gonna be a fascinating article when
1:19:27
you write it. And I've written a lot about
1:19:29
public speaking as well because it
1:19:32
is another thing like interviewing where you're
1:19:34
trying to win over just
1:19:37
like in an interview, you're trying to win over an
1:19:39
audience. And and
1:19:41
there's there are specific techniques to do and
1:19:43
you have to be as genuine and sincere
1:19:45
as possible as well. But like a dictator
1:19:49
will, you
1:19:52
know, for instance, a dictator uses Robert
1:19:54
Chialdini's Exact frequency technique. Yeah,
1:19:57
like they'll use all his
1:19:59
techniques. It's like someone like
1:20:01
Hitler might say something like, wasn't
1:20:04
your life awful before? When
1:20:07
bread was like a gazillion marks
1:20:10
and people would say yes. And
1:20:13
then when I became leader, wasn't your life better?
1:20:15
And then it's a bigger yes. So it's like that consistency, like
1:20:18
getting them to say a small yes to get them to a
1:20:20
bigger yes. He was very effective at doing
1:20:22
things like that. And
1:20:26
cult leaders are like that as well.
1:20:30
It is just like up to the
1:20:32
person, like maybe you really don't like
1:20:34
me. I am not
1:20:36
entitled to be on your show. You
1:20:38
know what I mean? Like it's just,
1:20:40
I think that there, everybody, every person
1:20:42
has like a freedom to have
1:20:45
whoever they want on their platform. And
1:20:48
if they want to interview Putin
1:20:50
and ask them, ask him questions,
1:20:53
it's their right. Like I have, you will not
1:20:55
catch me not defending free speech. Yeah,
1:20:59
good. Good thing. And
1:21:04
look, let's see the, and you say here,
1:21:06
the only way to become a masterful interviewer
1:21:08
is to interview Larry King conducted more than
1:21:10
60,000 interviews in his career. Oprah
1:21:13
has done more than 37,000. Joe
1:21:15
Rogan has hosted more than 21 guests on his
1:21:17
podcast. It's really true. You've
1:21:20
got to do things. Yeah.
1:21:22
And it's like, once you
1:21:24
think about 60,000 interviews, that
1:21:26
is so many
1:21:28
or 20 or 37,000. And
1:21:32
then people think about Joe Rogan, you know,
1:21:34
oh, he has the biggest show, but he
1:21:36
has podcast, but he's only just 2100 recorded
1:21:39
interviews on his show. So it's like, and
1:21:41
you've done 1500. So it's like,
1:21:43
those are big numbers, but 60,000
1:21:46
is like a different universe. Yeah.
1:21:50
And, you know, and again, like he
1:21:52
does like, like Larry King
1:21:54
and those specifically are interviews and, and
1:21:56
Joe Rogan, it does, it still feels
1:21:58
so much like. conversations and I
1:22:01
really almost aspire to that.
1:22:05
But you have to use interview techniques. These
1:22:07
are all really important techniques. But
1:22:10
one thing I'm going to try at one point is
1:22:12
just give everybody, go on
1:22:14
Twitter, give everybody the Zoom link
1:22:16
and interview whoever just
1:22:19
comes on. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, just
1:22:21
to show that everybody's got a story.
1:22:23
And like, of course, Brandon Santin and
1:22:25
Humans of New York does that really
1:22:27
well. Yeah, there's a
1:22:29
thing. Sorry, what I
1:22:31
say is like, you don't have to
1:22:33
have a podcast to do an interview
1:22:35
or have a conversation. It's just like,
1:22:37
with any stranger, you can practice these
1:22:39
skills and just become a better conversationalist.
1:22:43
Yeah. And like, what do you what do
1:22:45
you think, though, on TikTok or Instagram, I see
1:22:47
all these guys who go up to people and
1:22:49
say, Hey, how much rent do you pay? And
1:22:52
they say, Oh, 15,000
1:22:54
a month in New York City, can I get a tour
1:22:56
of your apartment? And they
1:22:59
give the tour and like, so what do you think of that
1:23:01
style where it's like one, there's one
1:23:03
question and then the they ask
1:23:05
everybody and then the interview is around that. I
1:23:08
kind of like that. Is it because it has an
1:23:10
angle. So you know, it's kind of like hot ones.
1:23:13
The angle is I'm going to ask you these random
1:23:15
questions while you eat spicy food. It's
1:23:17
the same. It's like it has a slight point of
1:23:19
view. So you know exactly what you're getting. But
1:23:22
then it can go anywhere. Yeah. And
1:23:24
there's this voyeurism aspect. Yeah. So
1:23:27
it's like, can you show
1:23:29
me intimacy? It's
1:23:31
like the most intimate thing you can show somebody
1:23:34
is your home. Right. And
1:23:36
the guy that the main guy I'm thinking of who
1:23:38
does this, and maybe there's more than one, but the main guy
1:23:40
I'm thinking who I always see who does this, he always says,
1:23:42
can I sit in your bed? Oh my
1:23:44
God, I have not seen that. Yeah.
1:23:46
And it's usually like some really beautiful woman
1:23:49
who he goes up to and says,
1:23:51
Hey, how much do you like? It usually
1:23:53
starts there. He's getting every voyeuristic aspect and
1:23:55
you kind of are left wondering, Like,
1:23:58
is he going to have sex with this girl? Like. My
1:24:00
guy, it's the kind of interview sort
1:24:02
of. His. Direction That
1:24:04
directions. For I finally the Or
1:24:06
or was ordered the what do you do for a
1:24:08
living guy like I like that guy to. Yeah,
1:24:11
yeah, no way that that's the their
1:24:13
challenger. They're trying to decide quickly, build
1:24:15
intimacy with someone in a way that's
1:24:17
like can I do a house? How
1:24:19
much money do make would you do
1:24:21
for Allah like all the things that
1:24:23
people think make them who they are.
1:24:26
And I guess it is also the. Consistency.
1:24:29
Thing like if you answer like obviously
1:24:31
we don't see all the rejections these
1:24:33
people do They only yeah, so was
1:24:35
the instagram rio's of of the people
1:24:37
who answer but as if you're already
1:24:39
answering. What? Do you do for
1:24:41
a living? Or how much money you
1:24:44
make or or what's your rent? you've
1:24:46
already. Gas said something so
1:24:48
personal that now it's to begin. it's wide
1:24:50
open to for the guy to ask anything.
1:24:53
Yeah. Browsing those people probably have pre interviewed
1:24:55
these people to get their i don't
1:24:57
think anybody that oh he softened to
1:24:59
be on the block where my apartment
1:25:01
as let's go check it out. a.
1:25:04
I wonder for if we just happen or
1:25:06
if like nine times out of ten he
1:25:08
gets nothing and then maybe once I'm out
1:25:10
of one hundred, maybe he he gets lucky
1:25:13
and the person pays two hundred thousand a
1:25:15
month address and we can see their apartments.
1:25:17
Uses has of on. Yeah
1:25:19
thousand good idea Jay has was that he doesn't
1:25:22
look as a guy on on a cigarettes because
1:25:24
it's a little bit like what I used to
1:25:26
do at. This. This three am I
1:25:28
the I used to do for for H B O in
1:25:30
the nineties which is. In. A while you out
1:25:32
of three in the morning. It was that kind of
1:25:34
concepts. I
1:25:37
always think I did. The first part has
1:25:39
has wow put it on the internet These
1:25:41
interviews that I'd that says he was given
1:25:43
from isn't to do so. That's.
1:25:46
Cool, but polina promptly
1:25:48
auto. Thing. To do such
1:25:50
a great newsletter. The Profile: I
1:25:52
love all of your newsletter of.
1:25:55
Every episode Edison that comes
1:25:57
out. Of always a reader. You know you.
1:26:00
Whatever is one reader, were just me as a.
1:26:03
And you also wrote the book
1:26:05
hidden Genius about some of your
1:26:07
more interesting profiles and always great
1:26:09
to have you on the podcast.
1:26:11
Like you said, wasn't gradually out
1:26:13
of your to say congratulations on
1:26:15
on second Babies as a thank.
1:26:17
You so at a London on these
1:26:19
days? Ago like how many how many others
1:26:21
as you put out a week. And.
1:26:24
Of One. And
1:26:26
one every Sunday and and sometimes one every
1:26:28
one said. Okay, I have.
1:26:31
I've I've I've seen more than one week from you.
1:26:33
And and are you gonna keep like this is?
1:26:35
is it Now for Life I Target I just
1:26:37
do this newsletter for Lives are making money and
1:26:39
them. It's all that. Well I just
1:26:42
as I really love the news that
1:26:44
I have no reason to not do
1:26:46
it. but A I really enjoyed Have
1:26:48
done it for the last seven years.
1:26:50
everything a week but now my goal
1:26:52
is to do more interviews cells anybody
1:26:54
listening. Ah. Needs to
1:26:56
eat out. Moderating helper is a whole
1:26:58
thing. Something where they need an interviewer
1:27:00
loving. Very. Good call
1:27:02
to action their status as they
1:27:04
supposedly they again thank you cause.
1:27:07
Of think is a lit.
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