0:00

When. A peg my first time

0:02

headed your way. I'll be there Friday

0:04

March first and Saturday March second.

0:06

Omaha we're going to do at this

0:08

time. I promise. the last time we

0:11

got our flights cancelled this time were

0:13

taken a straight shot. I'll be there

0:15

Friday March Twenty ninth and Saturday March

0:18

thirtieth Columbus, Ohio I'm fired up

0:20

the head your way. Never been there

0:22

my first time com and year. Beautiful

0:24

city. I'll be there Friday April twelfth

0:27

and Saturday April thirteenth, Los Angeles

0:29

I'm excited to announce. That on part

0:31

of the Netflix is a joke festival.

0:33

Have my own show Sunday, May twelve

0:35

at the Bourbon Room. You guys ask

0:37

me how come you're not on Netflix?

0:40

Well here's a chance to sell this

0:42

thing out. Job: Why should be Get

0:44

your tickets Now.way off tickets available. Ryan

0:46

Sickler Doctor. The.

0:50

Honey Do with Brian Stickler.

1:03

Welcome. Back to the honey,

1:05

Do y'all were over here doing it

1:07

in the night pass. Studios are Mri

1:09

and secularized were.com Rise Sickler on all

1:11

your social media. Excuse.

1:14

Me there. And I want

1:16

to start this episode like a star.

1:18

All the episodes I want to say

1:20

thank you thank you to every single

1:22

one you out there that watches, listen,

1:24

subscribes, comments powered or you helped showed

1:26

thank you very much And if you

1:28

gotta have more than you gotta have

1:30

the pager on it's called the honey

1:32

Do with your and it's this show

1:34

with y'all and the stories. Just.

1:37

Get her. Okay. here's a quick

1:39

sample. Nineteen. Ninety Four

1:41

Five if you're old enough to remember.

1:43

My guess today is there was a

1:45

little baby in Indiana called Baby Hope.

1:48

This. Old baby was born and

1:50

found in a dumpster. stabbed with

1:52

an umbilical cord and placenta. Fresh

1:55

in this dumpster. Never found

1:57

out who did it. This

1:59

kid's mom. His. Walk and them

2:01

around the neighborhood. Gone. Look at this. Look at

2:03

this. Finds. Out just

2:05

three years ago. That.

2:07

Baby was his sister. And.

2:10

His mom had died but she was

2:12

involved in it and we got the

2:14

whole story. It's still a poll case,

2:16

it's just stuff like that. Over.

2:18

And over week after week it's while So

2:21

Also check out the way back right here

2:23

on my You Tube new podcast where we

2:25

go back in time and does have a

2:27

little fun in that back Soon station wagon

2:30

and are for dates Ryan Sickler are com

2:32

That's where you get everything Now you know

2:34

or don't obey are always say we highlight

2:36

the low light and the bees of the

2:39

stories behind the storytellers. I am very excited

2:41

Abdus guest on here. First time on the

2:43

honeydew. Ladies and gentlemen please welcome Ready was

2:45

swath of the how to Do Reginald I'd

2:48

love. To Morning Sags More The

2:50

Allies as as com before we get

2:52

into your story. Please Plug promote everything

2:55

and anything in life. Oh geez Plug

2:57

promote our well I have a have

2:59

a I am going to Fly promote

3:02

guess right now I have a

3:04

book that came out and October seventh.

3:06

I guess some of it now activism

3:08

teens call the Great Falls Montana ah

3:11

my post punk weird as until Coming

3:13

Home again and basically about my it's

3:15

a autobiography ends mostly centers around my

3:18

high. School experience and down the little

3:20

bit in our past that but it's

3:22

mostly focuses on my group friends from

3:25

high school so that that's out right

3:27

now in get a wherever I would

3:29

encourage, go to local bookstore, order from

3:31

there and then I am. I have

3:34

a special that I'm and be filming

3:36

in March for the Beeps platform which

3:38

is a new platform started by the

3:41

two brothers who were and from Good

3:43

Charlotte. Oh yeah yeah the ban their

3:45

okay so they started this new and

3:48

that subscription. Kind of our cart of

3:50

platform weight related to twins Benji and

3:52

and on of they're twins but they're

3:54

brothers. They might be twins. I think

3:56

they're Maryland guys out and might be

3:58

wrong. The one of. Nicole Richie.

4:01

Mccaw. Going around band ah it could be

4:03

I don't know I don't know I mean

4:05

I remember I just early and people getting

4:07

involved in different things they get a network

4:09

common the guy that yeah they get they

4:11

they have been suspicious com that I think

4:13

I think dave across as missile command are

4:15

very hair and on the do and someone

4:17

at the as some others some other people

4:19

but they're getting like a bunch of comedians

4:21

verve for specials and then they have at

4:24

the bottom I'm confident and from be both

4:26

and it's awesome music So live music performances

4:28

on the Beeps platform sir should be pretty

4:30

cool. It's brand new but. At least I get to

4:32

make. I've been trying to make it. Do.

4:34

A com special for years does or first

4:36

one now so be my fourth. Okay let's

4:38

say a yeah with the last one was

4:40

like two thousand and fourteen. It's on Netflix

4:42

so ah but yeah I'm stoked a now

4:44

so I get to make and new special

4:46

and I'm I'm real excited about that. so

4:48

that's does it. Does the media things come

4:50

that goofy? I want to ask you this.

4:52

Just about a book in general has one

4:54

of my goals just I always feel like

4:56

I'll I just want to be published. I

4:58

want to write something about my life or

5:00

whatever did you find it? Would you do

5:03

it again? Like writing a book.

5:05

I've talked to some a people and

5:07

summer fifty fifty like man it's so

5:09

much and it's a lot of work

5:11

in you know as it is it

5:13

like that grind where it's a passion

5:15

project more than anything else. Already find

5:17

that it was you know that a

5:20

hit you personally what was I mean

5:22

I you know I wasn't really interested

5:24

in reading a book in I I

5:26

I am. Yeah.

5:28

I just whenever I thought about writing book

5:31

it seemed like way to. It's just element,

5:33

just Mount Everest in front of the aisle.

5:35

I out think I can do that and

5:37

I'm not much of a reader. I'm in

5:40

a research a lot. I have read a

5:42

lot of research but I'm. Science

5:44

and art stuff but like I just I'm

5:46

not really reader. sounds like I don't have

5:48

on the rag added you know come out

5:51

about the then I thought about my life

5:53

story and and and. Wanted. To

5:55

make a film more serious about my

5:57

high school experiences in Montana and eighty.

6:00

And so. My management ah

6:02

my team were like yeah, well in

6:04

about one the best ways to can

6:06

to help with that is to read

6:08

a book about it because then people

6:10

can read it and get a picture

6:12

of that possibility in the heads. and

6:14

so yeah, so that's how I went

6:16

and I got a Ghost rider. I'm

6:18

really really great guy is similar sensibilities

6:20

to me. I made sure a similar

6:22

age came from the Midwest and and

6:24

even though Great Falls, Montana's the west,

6:26

it's gonna mid west by a to

6:28

it's of and my dad's from Cleveland

6:30

said there's. A lot in common

6:32

with that writer and he's an amazing

6:35

writer and we work together to create

6:37

this book and ah I would definitely

6:39

do it again. I want to do

6:41

the next book on do is Seattle

6:43

Washington and then next one New York

6:45

New York's in next One Alley California.

6:47

So let's start by your life story

6:50

because I'm also curious why you chose

6:52

that high school chunk as I feel

6:54

like if I know that will be

6:56

the jungle life court right about as

6:58

well. Yeah because so much happened to

7:00

me in that time period. Good and

7:02

bad. Yeah, arm some curious Tommy little

7:04

bit about like where you grew up

7:06

in getting into Montana. Yeah I mean

7:08

I am. In a move there

7:11

from Europe my dad was in the military and

7:13

me move i'm of their when I was so

7:15

thick. Three and a half before you born in

7:17

Europe was born Europe where and Stuttgart. Ah,

7:20

Where they built porches. Susan Swell whether

7:22

the business after the forces and who

7:24

they actually build the forces and zoo.

7:27

Funhouse and butter? Yeah. so I was

7:29

born there. We moved around your at

7:31

my mother's French from France and. Yeah,

7:34

we ended up in Spain. from most to

7:36

that time that we're in Europe and then

7:38

them. Then move to

7:41

Ah Griff, also nineteen

7:43

seventy. Six. And

7:45

as a what age you hit pre

7:47

falls asic for thanks to those born

7:49

sony to so i mean what what

7:52

a difference. You know, Yeah,

7:54

for four years you're seeing all sorts

7:56

of people of race, color, everything. Yeah,

7:58

And you go to my. There are

8:00

Maginot persuaded as and over and so

8:02

I. It's like ninety eight percent having

8:05

ninety percent way. this is the populace

8:07

you look it up to says it's

8:09

crazy it's so wise say maybe a

8:11

bad idea breezes in a present by

8:14

the in either. funny because like do

8:16

it move in a great falls s

8:18

about Gaza far as against still may

8:20

may present me got like. Nine.

8:23

Black kids. Throughout. My school

8:25

think so. They could have fluctuated the could have

8:27

been like for one year and them like. but

8:29

how many in your actual greatest your thought about

8:31

your high school and my great grades? I don't

8:33

think I had. I

8:36

had looting Gomez who was Filipino.

8:38

Ah, I'm in my class.

8:41

I don't think I had another. There.

8:44

Was another black student. And

8:46

think so. I mean I mean your whole

8:48

high school class only two people of color

8:50

you and nestle no no no none has

8:52

gotten a this as elementary schools are elements

8:54

video here grade school there were probably some

8:57

other kids and lower grades but in my

8:59

actual class like I think lady was my

9:01

father the only person of color and then

9:03

made event and and they were lot of

9:05

like half year old kids. you know because

9:07

the base a Ghillie half green eyes as

9:10

out there was at my friend Tony Beard

9:12

way goes by Lou now but I'm in

9:14

high school when I met him his. Mother's

9:16

trying so he was halftime halfway

9:18

and so there's a lot of

9:21

like half white house European of

9:23

different ethnicities. I did that popped

9:25

up here and next month straight

9:28

up black students. I

9:30

mean what? yeah smell like eight or

9:32

seven and nine probably have any given

9:34

time served in our but at a

9:37

weird thing is like there was some

9:39

racism but. And. I maybe just

9:41

my memory maybe I'm to selectively like making

9:43

everything positive but like I didn't really have

9:45

that many problems. Ah I'm sure people were

9:47

being weird to me because of the way

9:49

I looked. by what can I chose not

9:52

to see it so I would just address

9:54

people to straight to their face like a

9:56

regular person. That's probably the most effective way

9:58

anyways because are just place where. The going

10:00

on here in is like our houses hanging

10:02

out with that time down there diaz seventy

10:04

as shipments was ah ok well yoga it

10:06

may be innovators forget with the aim heart

10:09

attack they like his spam and was supposed

10:11

was my to have a number of get

10:13

out every bit as like our families. Fuck.

10:18

Knows how many As I get a huge

10:20

conversation with his wife's accept my last fight

10:22

I oppose my one chance to not that

10:24

many of them and deaths. Of

10:27

these fat a look for yeah I know.

10:30

And they many of them have a good congress's our

10:32

know what's going on here, maps or me. Bells was.

10:35

An accident. Raise.

10:39

it's crazy. That's an interesting thought to

10:41

think too like you're a lot of

10:43

people's probably first black friend. That's true

10:45

the I'd never the i never thought

10:47

of it however younger Mr oh she

10:49

totally to yeah I mean yeah an

10:51

answer So I'm sorry your mom's French

10:53

born in France as did they meet

10:56

over and European military so then you

10:58

guys all come back to the states.

11:00

Why there's a base? there is an

11:02

Airforce base Malmstrom and then do you

11:04

live there in Montana from the what

11:06

four years old till till till I

11:08

gradually get out. Yeah okay yeah with

11:10

that like I mean honestly by a

11:12

now you get past elementary school yeah

11:14

school and stuff as high schools were

11:17

really yeah. as it was way back

11:19

via I was stoked by school as.

11:21

Super. Red and early move and through school

11:23

with all the same guys all the way through

11:25

so you can only hear yeah i'd say like

11:28

that ravi eighty percent of the people you in

11:30

school with you still in school with as you

11:32

move up to those gray and how big your

11:34

like gum high school yet a big school lot

11:36

a kid it was ethic thirteen hundred kids. Thirteen.

11:39

Hundred and not miasma. Small thought. taxes are

11:41

a thing that really gets a we were

11:44

a Maryland. yeah I mean I've met friends

11:46

and like three thousand kids. Nine or thirty

11:48

five hundred mean a bigger bite your tongue

11:50

malik, east coast or more. he's bigger cities

11:53

but are we have We also another high

11:55

school across town which was really is perfectly.

11:57

Now we have like a rival I school.

12:00

They were banning roughly about same size

12:02

like eleven hundred twelve on a good.

12:04

So we're like rival sports teams and

12:06

you know they lived across the river

12:08

In a a is to cannot perfect

12:10

you couldn't get. It it felt like.

12:13

If. There was a real live Sims

12:15

game like. Great. Balls as a

12:17

Sim City areas perfect you elect. Okay, where's

12:19

this plot of land? It's next to a

12:22

rivers. Okay, we'll see what was it. Went

12:24

to rebuild their well as Villa damn there

12:26

and get some Power Guy article on the

12:28

So As neighborhoods here. Ah and O's mixture

12:30

rail lines are coming to the enough rail

12:32

lines and nam he will start a smelter

12:35

read every year on the river or start

12:37

melting copper and maybe this will be like

12:39

the trade route of the west. You know

12:41

they'll be like skog of the west. Everything

12:43

comes through here are now it's the great

12:45

Depression heads are certain. Than the government's like we

12:48

should for the base here in like a with

12:50

him for the air force base here was the

12:52

Airforce our know it's new assignment and fifty six

12:54

as well as League of Legends and and make

12:56

ends meet up for debate by the okay get

12:58

I'll have a cannery A we are games that

13:00

a cannery earlier than a healthy and guess you

13:02

know whatever but like an international airports like. It's.

13:05

Just. it's very it's It's cute. It's

13:07

just like a contained town. Like you

13:09

drive fifteen minutes any direction from the

13:11

center of town and year out of

13:13

the town. Sounds like it's a snow

13:15

globe town. Yeah, totally. That's a perfect

13:18

way of thinking that. Yeah, that's exactly.

13:20

That's because you're like here's a city

13:22

and then use He literally just drive

13:24

and suddenly wheat fields and because they're

13:26

sitting out. I think there's a city

13:28

buying. This was Turner I as city.

13:30

So this it's it's. a very contains

13:32

the closest major city. And

13:34

how far as it. I. Mean. Does

13:38

I mean the me A Majors? The I

13:40

mean that probably a bigger city would have

13:42

been buildings which were the been. One.

13:45

Hundred and twenty thousand so would have

13:47

been like twice the population growth Us.

13:50

So. that's the biggest said the in downtown

13:52

feelings and whitefish have been now see i

13:54

believe was your farther out the now where

13:56

where it right in the middle iron so

13:58

it's like it's like said enter slightly

14:01

west, right in the

14:03

middle of the state. And then, yeah,

14:05

and then we have Missoula, which is kind of

14:07

down, we have Bozeman, Billings, those

14:10

are the biggest cities in Montana. And

14:12

it's different. We went to a karaoke, well, we went

14:14

to a bar that I didn't know they had karaoke.

14:16

It wasn't necessary. Let me, let me backtrack here. We

14:18

went to a local bar and it

14:20

wasn't karaoke. It was a local band. And Whitefish?

14:23

Yeah. And this guy was the son-in-law

14:26

of the dude who owned it. So

14:28

he had to play. And

14:30

he was not great at all, but everybody's

14:32

out there country line dancing and stuff. And

14:34

the wall, the three walls all

14:37

the way around, you probably, maybe you've been

14:39

there. And I'm not exaggerating when

14:41

I say this. It's a stuffed buffalo.

14:43

Yeah, of course. It's a fucking ram.

14:45

Yeah. I mean, it's man.

14:47

The wall. It's an, it looked like

14:49

the fucking Smithsonian, like with the little,

14:52

like tumbleweed behind it. It made

14:54

a little display. And it's just

14:56

massive animals all the way

14:58

around. I was like, holy shit. This

15:00

is different. Yeah. Did you

15:02

hunt and fish up there? I, you know, I tried.

15:05

I think I went duck hunting once with

15:08

my, luckily my neighbors across the street. That's

15:10

actually something I don't think I gave them

15:12

enough credit for. I

15:14

was really thankful. My neighbors across the street, they

15:17

were, they were from North Dakota originally. And I

15:19

don't know what religion they were, but I think

15:21

that they were like some kind of,

15:24

kind of subsect Christian religion of

15:27

some sort. Never quite found out,

15:29

but his name was Robbie and we were friends and

15:31

we would play Star Wars all the time. And he

15:33

had like an older sister that was kind

15:35

of a bad, a bad girl, which later it's like

15:37

she wasn't a bad girl. So he's just like, love

15:40

having adventures, you know, but back when we were kids

15:42

are like, oh, she's doing stuff you're not supposed to,

15:44

you know, so she's bad. But

15:46

we, yeah, we played Star Wars. We

15:49

had so much fun together and his father went fishing

15:51

a lot. So we'd go fishing and

15:53

they're little, you know, truck bed camper.

15:55

And we'd all had our, you know, dad took the

15:58

upper one and then we had like the two sides.

16:00

beds and get up early in the morning, get in

16:02

the boat and go fishing. So, I went fishing a

16:04

lot. I didn't mind that but when

16:06

we went duck hunting once, I was not

16:09

feeling that. And luckily, we

16:11

didn't get any ducks. They got nothing that day and

16:13

I was so stoked because I just, even

16:16

though I ate meat, like the killing

16:18

of the animal, I could

16:20

just and it sucks because it's like I'm

16:23

a hypocrite, you know, like I enjoy chicken

16:25

but like, well, actually, I did kill

16:27

a chicken once in France. I worked in a market

16:29

when I was visiting my relatives and I would

16:32

like just get

16:34

the cat here first. Yeah, you just pick him up

16:36

and he'd... Oh, this thing wasn't running the neck chasing.

16:38

No, no, it was just like in a cage and

16:40

you really do just snap them. And you're holding it

16:42

by the feet and you're like this for this much

16:44

money and I figured out a way to kind of

16:46

bypass that, you know, that like I

16:48

don't want to kill something and I did it

16:51

like for a day or two and I was

16:53

like, I can't do this anymore.

16:55

So, that was as close as I got.

16:57

So, as a Montana and maybe my fellow

16:59

Montana friends are like, oh, what a wish

17:02

but like I just, I wasn't but I

17:04

mean, I'd go into my friend's garage and

17:06

there'd be an elk hanging from the rafters,

17:08

you know, with the horn still

17:10

on and the antler still and, you know, tons

17:13

of cardboard on the floor and like, you know,

17:15

everyone has a deep freezer. They'll have a gun

17:17

room. Oh, yeah, for sure. Yeah, buddy took me

17:19

down a gun room and he opened it up

17:21

and it wasn't just guns. It was, it was

17:23

moose and elk antlers. Yeah. Just on the floor

17:26

and shit. Yeah. What are you doing with these?

17:28

I know. I know. But it's just like, it's

17:30

that, it's that hunting culture that just like, I

17:32

don't know what it is, you know, you just,

17:34

it just does the way that it is. But

17:36

I used to go to school, kids had guns

17:39

on in the gun racks in their trucks. Yeah.

17:41

And so, I want to

17:43

say it was my freshman year was 87 and

17:46

then everything changed after that. Last year, I'm

17:48

a freshman in high school. It was the last year we

17:50

actually had a smoking lounge in the school. Wow.

17:52

We had a room where if you're 18

17:55

or I always say, or had shit trash

17:57

parents, You could smoke in there. The

18:00

and then there was the racks. You you

18:02

couldn't come with a Pistorius, they sort of.

18:04

You drove in and you had the gun

18:06

rack back here and you had a shock

18:08

on our rifle in there. Nobody said a

18:10

word. I know. And. They weren't even

18:12

lot Now I was literally to walk

18:14

in and go Louis Yeah yeah I

18:16

can blue the aptly at ammunition and

18:18

because everybody seventeen and fucking dumb Yes

18:20

yeah now yeah as your and never had

18:22

an incident, never ever had an incident.

18:24

Whenever a kids will have knives in

18:26

a pocket knives like know once in

18:28

Montana everybody's go nice. I mean most

18:30

what makes sense in a nice I

18:32

still carry a knife. I always happen if

18:35

I was of a knife in a

18:37

flash sideways as like only boy scouts

18:39

it but ah. He just have

18:41

a knife and you can look at any by

18:43

his pocket and you'll see that worn down spyware,

18:45

some clip in their knife or whatever and

18:47

it's just a normal thing or sometimes you a

18:50

buck. Knives you know they're like hang up the

18:52

house where this and no one ever says anything

18:54

like ours in Missoula. For a punk festival of

18:56

these to have every year was Socal called

18:58

Total Fast and it's no longer bus amazing bands

19:01

would show up there and need to have like.

19:03

Be. Was walking out of bars with their

19:05

for pint glasses of beer. just walk

19:08

and across the street. Big ass knives

19:10

hanging that's unlike. The. Sec and

19:12

then and then when and then when people have

19:14

that these a. Misunderstandings

19:16

about and people live in cities

19:18

and. In of people

19:20

you'd classify as liberal and deeply classifies

19:23

as conservative or which to me is

19:25

all bunch of fucking bullshit but ah,

19:27

They. Don't understand their like weapons dangerous and

19:29

so again it's true. However if you go to

19:32

Montana like in Missoula in you got a knife

19:34

and you walk around with your plant them science

19:36

like. Of course they're going to be like now.

19:38

They're not dangerous. Because. We live in

19:41

it every day and when when am

19:43

friends with it? But then someone in

19:45

the cities like yeah, when someone gets

19:47

stabbed yesterday and some psycho when I

19:49

was like yeah, but this to different

19:51

areas, two different styles of being so

19:53

there can't be a blanket solution for

19:55

everything. And he also said a keyword

19:57

in are some psycho yes is Not

19:59

normal people. Walking around town enjoying responsibly

20:01

piazza yeah going an alcoholic beverage yes, exam

20:03

or people who can drink and have a

20:06

weapon the Us and do nothing with it

20:08

a hundred percent. all except for the go

20:10

home with it's a yes Exactly out of

20:12

there. Are you like me to whittle some

20:15

Yeah site already in new cities? Are you

20:17

know I? I just made me think some

20:19

least it like I grew up and in

20:22

I'm from Baltimore as a but after a

20:24

while we moved out to the county say

20:26

and it was country is shit out there.

20:28

yeah and I remember Redneck. Dude taken their

20:31

butter knife caddies maybe thing as a ever

20:33

seen my cut their nails always. Yeah I'd

20:35

say madame ever has got his Watson's I'm

20:37

like are you near fuck Amazing games. Could

20:40

mom or my hat with a buck? Yeah

20:42

I know because it's like you're it's a

20:44

girl in oh it's like the modern day

20:47

version of of it Alec at night or

20:49

something like in the middle school I had

20:51

a dagger in our yeah thanks and like

20:53

you just haven't met with a few. Tula

20:56

wasn't like he Matt Smith's when we see

20:58

a weapon yeah I mean if. You have

21:00

a tactical switchblade over there. was like. that's what

21:02

I liked carry but likes it. but I just

21:04

like it because convenient. That's like. It's

21:06

the blade as out the blade is gone

21:09

like back in my pocket. I like it

21:11

for convenience bus but I'm not thinking like

21:13

this thing would kill some people time. dislike

21:15

of the cool tools and all my friends

21:17

are that way. So in our it's it's

21:19

funny my liberal friends I guess you'd call

21:22

him liberal in Montana that are just about

21:24

like treating people fairly. I guess that's liberal.

21:28

Democrat liberal at At at At is still.

21:30

I smell everybody. I really do whatever they

21:32

want to know amplifies that Yet at Liberal

21:35

there. but their life with. Is still like

21:37

nice to on my god are still on my

21:39

knives like the I am for gamers are not

21:41

what does not want to say I did They

21:43

are as good as I got. Want to belittle?

21:46

I like it's techno of god to get a

21:48

stamp I can I can do silencer, I can

21:50

do suppressor whatever it it was like okay that's

21:52

good but the balances makes sense. They're really go

21:55

camels like with you you know fuck with me

21:57

and great done rights but eyes of most of

21:59

my friends. Calm down. Like from Montana were visiting

22:01

L A. They're kind of. Their. Tripped

22:03

out by like everyone's hypersensitivity does. But

22:05

I'm not against that because it's just

22:07

a product of the environments like mean

22:09

own I think about grown up in

22:11

Montana, I'm lucky as all at well

22:14

One we grew up in a time

22:16

I think the best time to grab

22:18

ever have personally. and it's not nearly

22:20

as being like a pre boomer whatever

22:22

but like. It's

22:24

being able to like have that freedom like going

22:26

to school, the pocket knife, being on a will

22:28

stuff in on the playground after whatever and then

22:30

the know the alcohol thing like you were tied

22:32

in their dogma Canada was like up you know

22:35

so if you're like seventeen, have a fake id

22:37

or every good my crew that there are thing

22:39

in Canada the time it was maybe. It.

22:42

Was me be sixteen is something of

22:44

a new as we would go up

22:46

there sorry I didn't but friends or

22:48

go there to go drinking i wasn't

22:50

big drinkers I got there could drink

22:53

it's take road trips by yourself. No

22:55

cellphones are a lot of responsibility to

22:57

can arrays yourself in many ways. Ah

22:59

and. Montana. Itself is

23:01

being wide open. Possibilities like we go

23:03

hiking on the weekend, hails, go backpacking

23:05

up in mountains, just two or three

23:08

friends with backpacks. In the winter it's

23:10

like freezing in our parents as drop

23:12

us off and gay we'll see in

23:14

three days. really. Oh yeah, Our.

23:16

Time tell me I'm a solemn a high schools

23:19

as I'm curious like where do you party guys

23:21

don't feel parties if you don't have a house

23:23

I imagined feel Bars of Pride for yeah vague

23:25

in Montana. I mean for like the popular kids

23:27

like them up most of the the. The.

23:31

Yeah, third average party kids were would

23:33

definitely be out in field somewhere. Nebulae

23:36

Auto by Ryan Ryan Damn ah okay

23:38

was Gilbert's Go Ryan dance or out

23:40

in this field? Sigma Tic first right

23:42

here in and take left didn't sign.

23:44

we're going pillow thing they're see now

23:46

that it's are saying it's when I'm.

23:50

So. That would be at but then

23:52

some as would have house parties or when I

23:54

when I met my new group of friends i'm

23:56

Metallic post punk weirdo friends like my skater friends

23:58

may be a max. The my road

24:00

bike in friends the you know the girls

24:03

were like listen to seizing the banshee is

24:05

and like although the dark off stuff and

24:07

that crew like we always found around places

24:09

so we'd party in caves We other these

24:12

caves that we found that we would like

24:14

party and tie case on animals probably in

24:16

their rights glint they weren't they weren't our

24:18

natural caves. The remaining chow said read so

24:21

call them caves. bet they were like gray

24:23

as a granite mine and old granny months

24:25

and we have to sneak there because there's

24:28

a house to lived across the dirt. Road

24:30

from it because they wind up a pretty

24:32

steep hill and are like these cliff faces

24:34

and some I was actually in the how

24:36

and they began and a porcelain had dogs

24:38

so sorry that was a park really far

24:40

away and then cut into the land along

24:43

the cliff face and then just like quietly

24:45

make our way there for the got dogs

24:47

and barks but you know we'd go there

24:49

there be a person stand up parents are

24:51

ab towns so we go to that house

24:53

or my mom was cool with having the

24:55

kids like hang on the back yard and

24:57

park in the fran like we hang out

24:59

the basement. Smoking masks my mom as a

25:02

smoker and really yeah I didn't like adding

25:04

like my mom so my pants why Me

25:06

my friends smoke outside but sometimes my friends

25:08

would be upstairs smoke and with my mom

25:10

talking to her arm and. It.

25:12

Was just like. I know is it

25:14

was chill. We could party wherever like we

25:16

we had. We. Had options or we'd

25:19

go rid of friends are six times in the

25:21

middle of winter. Be like we're going to Bozeman

25:23

so how long as we get a to dry

25:25

them about four hours? May. Do have

25:27

for by force. Now. It on a

25:29

for by force all this like be as like people

25:31

are like a gotta have an s U V after

25:33

before by foreign all these people like. Going.

25:36

Hard core and four by four. As I

25:38

live out in the mountains, I'm any four

25:40

of us either Were no eighteen eyes, He

25:42

did. Not at all. Right now. eighteen, I.

25:45

My friend had run know twelve. Or

25:48

older at night because ever free had french mom's

25:51

the like the friend's mom's at friends cars. It

25:54

up and we had a Renault

25:56

Zero sum game or other said

25:58

yeah no swells. A

26:00

lot of our lives a couple of you

26:02

are looking for a robot course it's already

26:04

that car got around to Montana in the

26:06

with their easy that little friends movie or

26:09

a liquor is a sling isn't Rear wheel

26:11

drive will drown it while he has a

26:13

front wheel drive and least for when he

26:15

would. fucking good isn't as well as we

26:17

went on the freeways and you know we

26:19

had dinner with put on scenes in our

26:21

never bus that carted mirror saw this like

26:23

all this like a gonna be I up

26:25

and I got out of four by four

26:27

and thirty inches a clearance on the isn't

26:29

bunch of garbage. Unless you actually live

26:31

up a super steep grade and rocks,

26:33

are you gonna ryanair that egg? I

26:35

get it right by. Like this whole

26:37

fascination, few others receiving them. Montana like

26:39

the was not from Montana movie Montana

26:41

I knew drug. Like an insect

26:43

Man, you know what do you have

26:45

a hall and sit barely hi? It's

26:47

like becomes a neighborhood dumpsters. Astros? I

26:49

now only two hours. Garbage. As good

26:51

as it's like, Analysts rock on a

26:53

nice cabin. They can put my friends

26:55

comfortably and and we can just like

26:57

that drive and have a comfortable Ryan's

26:59

Sucks Mack comfortable rats bus Amos that

27:01

my dad try. Besides yeah we were

27:03

just like we had so much freedom

27:05

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help.com/on he do math was get

28:07

back to the do so what

28:09

was it did hit you and

28:11

impacted you and such a way

28:13

the you decide to write this

28:15

book about that chunk of your

28:18

life what's going on at that

28:20

time I mean. You.

28:22

Know a good time? Is it a mixture

28:24

of both? Now me? I mean for the

28:26

most part it was great because I was.

28:28

you know. Luckily again, perfect timing. When I

28:30

was in junior you I might have had

28:32

the same timing but when I was in

28:34

junior high. Ah, Sixteen

28:37

candles came up. Sixteen

28:39

candles was. Awesome!

28:41

There was nothing else like it Mike

28:43

and I'm ever seen in the movie theater.

28:45

I was an hour or hour. The fourteen

28:47

or whatever in this as fourteen. Went.

28:50

To a matinee as like a free ticket or

28:52

something. like if you're under age you getting go

28:54

to this thing for free and I went to

28:56

the matinee. My mom is drop me off all

28:58

time to see many as as any for an

29:00

hour doesn't exist the moment I went there. Three.

29:03

Caught in the afternoon. no kids in there

29:05

are a while. Like. Two other

29:07

kids in their says like three people

29:09

watching this movie and it blew my

29:12

mind. I was like holy crap this

29:14

is man matching if him he could

29:16

it be like that kid? could life

29:18

be like this? And the music was

29:20

cool? yeah kids are interesting and weird

29:22

and Joan Qq had you know head

29:24

gear on and couldn't drink. I was

29:26

drinking bounce it was. It was awesome

29:29

and disliking out a getting underwear and

29:31

like my in I'm I'm my own.down

29:33

long Dogwoods I've met that guy on

29:35

the real life. Yes yeah he's. He's

29:37

amazing is really sweet. But

29:39

he has incredible incredible say it's

29:41

so funny to my daughter. She's

29:44

nine now the last year she had does

29:46

not in her hair that like. The hairdresser

29:49

spent three hours as I can't get the

29:51

A and I'm like what are we gonna

29:53

do and the hairdressers like my eyes on

29:55

like with a sixth. he gets a straight

29:57

up we as a member. So yeah outdoors

29:59

I thought it. My god he's like I

30:01

can thought that shrunk but I can do my

30:03

best. The layer like areas around here don't look

30:05

like to thank you. Know that they do cotter.

30:07

fuck am I gonna take them? I should. I

30:09

know I see a hit. His

30:13

his so far budget ah were

30:15

wearing a suit or are you

30:17

do like this is or validate

30:19

your hair is So while it's

30:21

of ads amazing for that movie

30:24

was like crazy like so super

30:26

inspirational and that prepared me for

30:28

high school. So now. As they are

30:30

about to go into has Gone, this movie

30:32

came out exactly the right time. I. You

30:35

know, Got. A nice Cornell's Ai

30:37

and then I school breakfast club came

30:39

out. And

30:41

then you had Ferris Bueller day off. He.

30:44

Had are some town a wonderful. Ah,

30:47

Three o'clock high. Ah, Off

30:49

I had or off dead better

30:51

off dead Stillness I mean like

30:53

body and three iclei hi I'm

30:55

better off them with are still

30:57

two dollars I mean is still

30:59

our friends and I renowned and

31:01

him via with yeah hundred dollars

31:03

ah soon as it did the

31:05

perfect Howard Cosell oh my yes

31:07

perfect here we are Disaster finish

31:09

line again we have Lane A

31:11

know how it ever hits the

31:13

air made it was amazing The

31:15

puts on the fucking the bed,

31:17

the dishwashing gloves, And.

31:19

For the car in reverse so obvious it

31:22

was also lessen. Their bills are also an

31:24

hour. weird science which I was like thirteen

31:26

times. So all of those movies as all

31:29

About To, Nancy, Mental Health, and yeah of

31:31

course and Robert Downey do any. I went

31:33

to Snl together for a one of those

31:35

down sees. That's right, that area. I mean

31:38

I was a huge phenomena back and in

31:40

teenagers. Never had a thing like that before.

31:43

He had like. Portuguese.

31:45

Was like yeah yeah but now some we

31:47

we've been a little younger I was I

31:49

was done now see a little bit me

31:51

and for that is these gym.yeah yeah yeah

31:53

was a law can see the girls were

31:55

and whereas like excuse movies were more about

31:58

the. What? Were the. Girls

32:00

thinking about in around our what were the

32:02

guys the game or really worried about two

32:04

girls underpants look yeah what they are not

32:06

like we're not peak in in and see ambush

32:08

in the shower for teeth now now it

32:10

was mystery there he was like mr said

32:12

it was also of sir if if there

32:14

was silly and it was a heightened it's

32:16

weird that Door of Loud have a nominee. I

32:18

felt like I rather. Which

32:21

is kind. It's true, it's like if that

32:24

were to happen meddling everything this every

32:26

match. any luck as as a foyer like

32:28

are now or whatever. but do. In the

32:30

trunk cause some big muscular guy said that's where

32:32

you're going to undergo this party. They're funny kids

32:34

and lay are there are no no yes that's

32:36

right our of young that is where you don't

32:38

know. I mean. Yeah, so mean

32:40

we have all this light colored cultural

32:43

instruction. Like the possibilities were laid out

32:45

in these films. An arm and when

32:47

I got. An eight at

32:49

the guy had that experience and I

32:51

school. It really felt like I got

32:53

to experience those movies. I lived those

32:55

bits of those movies in high school

32:57

with my friends and we had incredible

32:59

adventures and we learned about. Each.

33:01

Other And yeah, they were like some dark

33:03

things, but we were there for each other

33:06

and we got ourselves through some. In

33:08

l some heaviness with. Cool,

33:11

responsible, weirdo, psychedelic partying in

33:13

our and an amazing music

33:15

and so that's I wanted

33:18

to Can have. To. Capture

33:20

that and transmit in to have a document

33:22

of it. But I really am still making

33:24

and into film series because I think you'd

33:27

be cool to see that like you know

33:29

what was it like to hang out and

33:31

you don't have an end of his seat?

33:33

Every every comedian probably wants to do a

33:36

movie about their Haskell experience with freaks and

33:38

geeks you know. Prime example by think like

33:40

mine would. Be. A cool angle

33:42

like you know, A I think

33:45

goods enough weird things happen that I don't

33:47

think people even believe happened yet. But they

33:49

did. In ounce like that's to those the

33:51

product of the time. We were able to do

33:53

that and your dad a military met like a

33:55

lifer. see in the military for a career man

33:57

he was. He was in the Air force eve.

34:00

Hired when I was like. Like. Nine

34:02

or something like that. I'm. So

34:04

yeah he was. Yeah, he retired from

34:06

the Airforce, but he was in the

34:08

Army before the air daily switch to

34:10

the Air Force out while. And

34:12

then your mom what does she do

34:15

See when we first got to Montana

34:17

she's sold Avon A M you are

34:19

taken such as allow for a while

34:22

since I remember seeing my mom and

34:24

her friends would sell that shit again

34:26

Tupperware, our all these part products and

34:28

now tons of box mouse and and

34:31

people come over and like up by

34:33

than of yeah that the I hear

34:35

yeah and they would our or she

34:38

would go door to door. Selling

34:40

Avon stood that and then she got

34:42

into a cleaning houses for the for

34:45

the air force base. So she was

34:47

a housing house cleaning or cleaning contractor

34:49

and she became like the best and

34:52

on the base so as he was

34:54

constantly working as is such a hard

34:56

worker so she'd get up at like

34:59

four in the morning and would be

35:01

off to go do a house in

35:03

high end dance and come back at

35:05

like unifies. In. The afternoon

35:08

when I be I'd already be

35:10

home from school and ah yes

35:12

she worked her ass off and

35:14

but she loved at getting cool

35:16

stuff in. Also see was ordering

35:19

cool porcelain be address statues and

35:21

in our cool furniture and says

35:23

if she worked really hard and.

35:26

Was one of the providers for thousand. Him and

35:28

dad provided my mom for Reddit where they they

35:30

were together the entire time they were together until

35:32

I was. Turned. Thirteen I started

35:34

getting to almost fights with my

35:37

dad's a lot of resistance you?

35:39

yeah? why? Because. He was

35:41

a. He. Well

35:43

he came from mud disciplinary

35:46

in households Are you being.

35:49

In the Black community in Cleveland,

35:51

Ohio and his father lost his

35:54

father when he was younger. arms

35:56

father was murdered. And

35:58

then and then. Here in in

36:01

his new stepfather was very strict and

36:03

religious like baptist and so I think

36:05

you just and his mother his grandma

36:07

or is my his mother was also

36:09

very strict as well so I think

36:11

he came from than he was trying

36:13

to use that method on me but

36:15

I was calico smart ass. In

36:17

Gear. That was always training get in

36:19

and out of staff by been tricky

36:21

and. I. The

36:23

was just anti authoritarian. It also

36:26

when he started. Trying. To get

36:28

up in my face Value doing staffs

36:30

as I resisting more and more. And

36:32

then I got your point where my

36:34

mom thought like. This. Kid get

36:36

bad so I'm going to send them away

36:38

and so she sent my dad away and

36:41

so they cure. It.

36:43

Is ago and so he liked it. A divorce

36:45

are seen as like you gotta get out He

36:47

makes this isn't believe in divorce but they it

36:49

is like you can't be in this and can

36:51

be in this house So he i think he

36:53

ended up. Going to school from

36:55

our Business management in Arizona and as

36:57

a he went there and then he

37:00

ended up moving to Cleveland because his

37:02

mother was getting older said time.aura or

37:04

a huge he needed to be that

37:06

adapted care of his his mother. And

37:09

I would go visit him on. you know

37:11

summer isn't an sometimes he'd come to great

37:13

falls for like Christmas with you go back

37:16

and as he goes guitar on her part

37:18

of it is kind of crazy nina to

37:20

like be a parenting got like i'm making

37:22

this decision and you gotta go yeah you

37:25

got ago I love you bet. Is

37:27

as we got it. but also he

37:29

didn't stay local. He decided I don't

37:31

want to go yet. He really went.

37:33

Me was that he really rely on

37:35

yeah is like I'm at a it's

37:37

but I'm glad. I mean I I

37:39

don't think I wouldn't I wouldn't I

37:41

wouldn't have wanted him to stay Ike.

37:43

I've got a little bit more freedom

37:45

and and I love my mom in

37:47

a even as You and Your Mom

37:49

Jemima months and now as you and

37:51

your Mom at this point from what

37:53

eighth grade, Ninth grade on? Yeah, yeah.

37:56

So basically junior high and. High school.

37:58

My dad wasn't there. He came for graduation. Obviously

38:00

and then he stayed you say obviously and

38:02

I'm a people said that shared a medieval

38:04

don't show up for a wedding graduates of

38:06

yeah I do that law that as soon

38:09

as a loss he he was cool. I

38:11

mean I will say that like I say

38:13

he did the best he could with what

38:15

he had and he was of bet he

38:18

was in Vietnam. He. Had Ptsd.

38:21

There's. A lot of sick on our that guy

38:23

side so even when I think about him today

38:25

I'm never your mom. probably dead cert your mom

38:27

probably really did your favor ceiling you from Tanya

38:29

that totally awesome. So then you're just you and

38:32

your mom. But you say your mom's working all

38:34

times who are latch key kid he does lend

38:36

itself in an hour you guys sort of siege

38:38

other for dinner and yelling and that's about it.

38:40

Are you in the airports in the moon is

38:42

akin stuff all way or you always home pretty

38:45

are now of us didn't Music I mean. I

38:48

started. taking violin

38:50

lessons, In fifth grade sank with

38:53

a Lindell idiots and that see

38:55

taught the stringed instruments i think

38:57

another teacher taught horns and woodwinds

38:59

and and then timpani and stuff

39:02

like that. and then in junior

39:04

high I was an orchestra so

39:06

there was nice to program and

39:08

as as north or extra junior

39:10

high and I was also Nordstrom

39:13

High school and side to that

39:15

but I also studied piano from

39:17

age five to sixteen classical piano,

39:19

private lessons. With a crew

39:22

students that we all grow was that a

39:24

family fingers at some you want to do

39:26

like the Time or Nebulae where they musically

39:28

inclined not and own house. They love music

39:31

know they'd they'd My dad played a

39:33

little saxophone when he was a teenager with

39:35

now said he is a big enough Charlie

39:37

Parker fanbase in I'd gotten the military and

39:40

into that but they always loved music. They

39:42

loved hanging out, partying and in on showing

39:44

life with ala. They loved him very much

39:46

so I took to it and I really

39:49

liked is very natural and. Yeah,

39:51

so I studied tons of music

39:53

and got involved in his many

39:56

after school or extra Chris curricular

39:58

programs possible. I did. You.

40:00

Know speech and debate little bit. I did.

40:03

Spam. There

40:05

was a art classes now know

40:07

just random shit I was. I

40:10

was trying out everything. I just

40:12

loved being social and. Trying.

40:14

Stassen being involved in stuff

40:16

and still. Film

40:19

relatively the same for Used to is

40:21

it either way that I'm so soft

40:23

bed status is it was actually perfect

40:25

timing. All of it worked out having

40:27

that extra time, the having really good

40:29

programs in school to get involved in

40:31

if you wanted to him and because

40:33

the school system at that time was

40:35

very well funded. And

40:37

we had access to whatever we

40:40

need as kids is awesome! So.

40:43

When you you get you graduate in the

40:46

newly mom stays in Montana yeah and dad

40:48

is where now back in Cleveland email he

40:50

moves back to Montana He comes back year

40:52

after his mom passes ah your grandma what

40:55

my grandma didn't pass till later but ah

40:57

but he moved back like as soon as

40:59

I graduated basically to be with your mom

41:01

or not he did miss they got back

41:03

together be of course they never worth of

41:06

course now we here than the aboard an

41:08

alley voyeurs the Aids he just said i'm

41:10

away now that the so he comes back

41:12

and out there a couple. Again yeah okay

41:15

Enema that worry me out that work

41:17

out skates and me but he's also

41:19

getting sicker. He gets fussy my head

41:21

like some heart operations. You know he's

41:23

just for the smokers that he was.

41:25

I am now I'm out here. Guys

41:27

ever saw very heavy drinker. Ah

41:30

not heavy drug I have to use now

41:32

colleague but they definitely enjoyed alcohol and ever

41:34

saw my parents like sloshed or anything like

41:36

that puts they enjoyed it so you know

41:39

and also have been a deep fried foods

41:41

and salt and all the stuff that's not

41:43

the best for your system. So

41:46

yeah, so he was also. I go a bit

41:48

sick in any aim. Was. Slowing down

41:50

and in own. Ah,

41:53

When. He moved back here. Ah.

41:58

And and I guess you would have been in his fifties. Young

42:00

those and guess like May fifty five minutes

42:02

and is your mom take care of? I'm

42:05

pretty much. The. Yeah, emmy not. it

42:07

wasn't that severe mean he was still like

42:09

moving around and working and doing housework as

42:11

of, but it just got worse as you

42:13

get older like in the seventies am. In.

42:16

Out to started emphysema got worse and

42:18

is have a hard time breathing and

42:20

I think he died When is a

42:22

D in his eighties? Eighty two some

42:25

play that eighty once an hour. Yeah.

42:27

Just a just. In our just all. The

42:30

heaped upon him and. We

42:32

now to sit and away our emphysema mean

42:34

I know you don't get rid of it

42:36

but it's just a slow burn for some

42:39

people on it just eventually just choked out

42:41

yeah businesses yeah they to the of the

42:43

along stop being. Flexible

42:45

an arm and elastic a malleable. select

42:48

the to she gets really hard and

42:50

it gets harder and harder to breathe.

42:52

Hazards Tone for snooze on oxygen In

42:54

Out and out Nips. It just takes

42:56

all in. All your energy away

42:58

in also and then in turn in

43:01

cancer and so now he died. yeah

43:03

I'm in the hospital my mom was

43:05

there thankfully but egg he died on

43:07

his birthday which is now that I'm

43:09

a birthday party it's like a few

43:11

days early and I had to do

43:13

a gig in Chicago and it it

43:15

against cardinals going to come back and

43:17

then my called the hospital they're like

43:19

yeah he passed away with saying on

43:21

his birthday says insane how and eighty

43:24

two one is iq eighty one eighty

43:26

nine on a second burst. Yeah

43:28

says suck and insane. An hour and

43:30

my mom died. She predicted she would

43:32

die in November. Now come home and

43:34

it out while any mean seized. So

43:36

when you're when you dad I was

43:38

what months? It. Was

43:40

me. A fourth.

43:43

And are you saying your mom predicted she

43:45

died Nov that same year or else he

43:47

predicted her mother earth when she would die

43:49

as you with the and she died many

43:51

many years later My dad was like eighty

43:53

him and in when I was thirty four

43:55

so I say says a while ago. But

43:58

I'm. So. She. But.

44:00

When in out those she died

44:02

last year and. Or I

44:04

guess yeah lesser yep it's stare Last

44:06

year and maybe five months before she

44:08

died she was like i think i'm

44:10

gonna die in november and will see

44:13

sick at that point or yes she

44:15

was she's not she's wasn't feeling well

44:17

but he just and there was like

44:19

up a bunch of things going on

44:21

and like com and she was also

44:23

just tired know when I came back

44:25

as my at the woman who's taken

44:27

care of her was like i think

44:29

that. You'd better come back

44:31

home and those I doubt I'll be there

44:33

next. Next day I flew out to Montana

44:35

and then we like hung out one night

44:37

and and the next day. The.

44:40

Caretaker I'd as

44:42

she. Yeah. See

44:45

what see lease it was she would leave it like

44:47

for in the afternoons. My mom wanted to be alone

44:49

and nine so submitter home chef at or how home

44:51

yellow see. So she

44:53

was slapped in the night when got dinner

44:55

a gutter buffalo burgers lives buffalo burgers and

44:57

some got that flourish and couple bites. not

45:00

not big appetite and they gave some to

45:02

the dies as I get the am I

45:04

gonna go to bed and I helped her

45:06

to bed, gather in a bed and then

45:08

just to hang around better with area in

45:10

and slant on the bad with the dog

45:12

and then she. Tomorrow he

45:14

talked about. Ah,

45:18

We. Didn't talk about a lot, I was

45:20

just cannot hanging out. With. Her.

45:23

And just asking. She needed anything

45:25

and then I remember she liked

45:27

Santa. Sat up. Once

45:30

looked around the room counting laid back down

45:32

and set up another time. And.

45:34

Looked around the room. And. then when

45:36

she laid back as like i love you

45:38

and then she said i love you too

45:40

and then to rolled over and or right

45:42

hand side and and had like these kind

45:45

of gasp. Kind. Of like almost

45:47

like sleep apnea, like holding your breath

45:49

and then like letting our lives around

45:51

me. A let him go as she

45:53

passed away. You're there for that. Yeah,

45:55

I mean her literal last breath like

45:57

that? Yeah the yeah. It was crazy.

46:00

How's. How's his? I

46:02

mean, I'm so glad that I had that

46:04

moment with her and. You.

46:07

Very, very surreal. but she

46:09

doesn't have Ember first. Which.

46:12

Is also the Day of the dead It

46:14

is that the sure is so like as

46:16

as like both my parents dying like in

46:18

November you read time period on the clown

46:21

Dislike: if this is a simulation would you

46:23

do biggest Once I got I asked my

46:25

father die when nom We were sixteen. I

46:27

remember we found him in his bed and

46:30

you know there's a moment where you want

46:32

to spend some time with this person. It's

46:34

not there anymore. Yeah no you're literally next

46:36

year mom for them to call Nine One

46:39

One Right away you have a moment. What

46:41

do you do. I have edo answer to

46:43

and I had a moment with their in

46:45

our the dog was like to the dogs

46:47

like young energetic. Ab. All.

46:49

Blacks had do so. he the whole

46:51

time is rick ridiculous like she's dying

46:54

and I'm like holding him to stop

46:56

like running around the bad while she's

46:58

guys so stupid he adds some serious

47:00

issues like try to die in a

47:02

like in a nice way. I was

47:05

like our analysis got man can only

47:07

exist some it would you stop and

47:09

I'm like holding the smell like scares

47:11

us is that. Stupid.

47:15

As ridiculous. Ridiculous.

47:18

A was like very sad but of the

47:20

same time off on Ridiculous. So

47:24

crazy. ah this out

47:26

some as crazy as

47:29

crisis but. Yeah. Was

47:31

is kind of their and and. You. Know

47:33

hold the dog wagging than I did

47:35

can like hungry. My mom and like

47:37

said some nice things to her and

47:39

and gave her a kiss on the

47:41

forehead and then and then I called

47:43

the women the lady is take care

47:45

of her and ah and then she

47:47

she was very sexy developed a relationship

47:49

with my mom and she was really

47:52

great. My mom liked her and so

47:54

she came over and like told my

47:56

friend Kelly Kelly Stephen soon as I

47:58

mean new since grade school. And

48:00

now he's always just been there for

48:02

me. Really cool, died and he hurts

48:04

is crazy it's he worked for funeral

48:07

homes he's to pick up people after

48:09

the past so he did ever twelve

48:11

years. And. Ah,

48:14

He. I call them in a

48:16

new exactly used to say okay well call

48:18

the cops, they'll come over. Ah and then

48:20

I would call this funeral home. They're better

48:22

than you know. Crawford's better than these other

48:25

guys are like okay great. And.

48:28

Enough. Called the cops Bree came

48:30

over she was there she was like

48:33

very distraught in okay man saw my

48:35

mom and then and then like. It's

48:38

Kelly was there he just think we just

48:40

came in and he was very very helpful

48:42

and then like the cops came one of

48:44

the cops new Kallio the gay kelly him

48:46

as they came in as like partner way

48:48

as like I'm going to do as an

48:51

autopsy quick onsite autopsy will be right back

48:53

and Cnn and. For a

48:55

down all the staff report as like

48:57

you know natural causes, whatever And then

49:00

the funeral people came in and they

49:02

knew Kelly where they're like weird beef

49:04

between Hamdan the do you really I

49:06

didn't article on you've got ourselves as

49:09

as you are the put a ragbag

49:11

a at a school or were mob

49:13

money ran out and all hours into

49:16

exile marking as like Ray Kelly it's

49:18

was i insist said the Omega was

49:20

not about you really at all. It's

49:22

like all.area guys coming justice system. Can

49:25

we discuss his ass yeah any on and

49:27

they they got my mom and they a

49:29

nicer that the I went back one more

49:31

time after they had done their thing and

49:34

it to said goodbye to are in the

49:36

name in our put her in the bag

49:38

and then put on those the gurney in

49:40

to go outside and she was cremated. Immediately.

49:43

Like the next day and us out.

49:45

My mom wanted more, my mom on

49:47

it and am now like. I.

49:49

Was going to a psychedelic conference like

49:52

the. The. Very next day or

49:54

known the next step. And so

49:56

as like I think I'm just going to go. And.

49:58

Take ethical grounds. The just go to

50:01

that and then I came back right after

50:03

the conference. Like those two days man came

50:05

back and then went to the funeral home.

50:07

picked her back. our pick. the earn in

50:09

a while to be earned before. Arm

50:12

over the catalogue, the phone and then

50:14

now they put her in the air

50:16

and the came back. Got they earn?

50:19

Make. Sense of paperwork and then. Yeah,

50:22

came home but the earn about

50:24

next my dad's earn an hour.

50:26

Yeah, those stelzer that was. It

50:28

was crazy to feel like to

50:30

know like you know her parents

50:32

anymore. I know it's weird. It's

50:34

really it's a weird time as I get

50:36

of they gave even process you know what

50:38

it is. I'm at a do see a

50:41

psychologist but without are not as is. I

50:43

don't really talk about it, it's just something

50:45

that I constantly think about. No magic. At

50:47

some point maybe they'll be more of a

50:49

time where I'm thinking a lot more about

50:52

it. but we don't have siblings now and

50:54

are you eat? Do have any grandparents left

50:56

on either side now. Now the I guess

50:58

not. they lived to be older all the

51:00

made it up there. yeah they didn't make

51:03

it up there so. Yeah,

51:05

see and rage around think I know

51:07

where it's I do have uncles nansen

51:09

France but I have just never really

51:11

kept up with them and my mom.

51:14

Had can have. A

51:18

weird relationship with them.

51:20

I'm and. The

51:22

yeah they this later in life she

51:24

she she didn't really use his i'm

51:26

really talking to them that much so.

51:29

Yeah. The only uncle that really

51:31

reaches outlaws. My uncle Money. And

51:34

them. See. Your mom's brother.

51:36

Yeah, my mom's I half brother from.

51:39

An hour. That's. It

51:41

and he reaches out all the time, but there's

51:43

also a little bit of a language even I

51:45

do speak French. I'm not like hyper fluent in

51:48

writing it or I'm. At a

51:50

noted is a just i'm not is connected

51:52

to them. Ah so I haven't really talked

51:54

to them like after she passed when he

51:56

said like i'm sorry she passed so like

51:59

that But in. I was kind

52:01

of it. As or it At

52:03

some point I'll go back to France

52:05

and say to them you know and

52:07

ranks on my mom's ashes and kind

52:09

of spread them. you know in in

52:11

Europe but she wanted my my dad

52:14

and hers apparatus are spread out in

52:16

Glacier National Parks and so on. as

52:18

beautiful someone to do that at some

52:20

point? Oh yeah. Yeah. They'll

52:22

be called trip to take what did you

52:24

get? The have any conversations with your dad

52:26

about things before he passed. Or

52:29

see just again that that generation to

52:32

sleep. And we were writing

52:34

out of yelling were dug Bob Dylan's

52:36

here Feelings are real. Did you get

52:38

one at the very end though that

52:40

he slipped one and only at all?

52:42

Not really. Emmy we talked about Stick.

52:44

We talked about some stuff. By.

52:47

remember he was also and some heavy. Painkillers,

52:50

So member him getting up and thinking that there was

52:52

like. A fly on the ceiling but

52:55

there wasn't is like a weird shadow in your

52:57

time with them. And Emery talked about how he

52:59

thought the nurses hot. He.

53:02

Was eighty One hundred appear is like

53:04

okay cool but here it's I don't

53:06

know We my we might it's I

53:08

were nothing that I really remember that

53:10

was that he was just as his

53:12

muscles is hanging out with him and.

53:15

He. Would be like you know it ought

53:17

to be here. Nouns like and like has

53:19

no problem and mind being a whatever it

53:21

is is he now he's a scam acquired

53:23

dude. I'm. But. Your

53:26

party form is Renee some as my

53:28

name and we're like birthday cake. Hadn't

53:30

missed him happy birthday and I thought

53:32

that was really seats to keep preceded

53:34

that and. Yeah.

53:37

Nothing too heavy. But.

53:39

Ask as glad I was there and i have

53:41

been that I couldn't be there when he passed

53:44

as but my mom as their forums on this

53:46

question do you are the have any kids. Now.

53:49

The. Want kids? Now you know

53:51

one. I'm now nine Cynthia nieces

53:53

and nephews now that I have

53:55

known as Sister Snowmass. That's

53:58

right now. Their husbands from

54:00

your uncle over there as well. I

54:03

yeah, there aren't other kids as some

54:05

kasman, no one year for years now.

54:07

And Reggie, you're on your own bro.

54:10

Yeah, at fifty, that hits. The.

54:12

Of Firsts. says. The is

54:14

your life He at least have mom. The.

54:17

Up And now you're literally on your own.

54:19

Yeah. Oh New World says scare you

54:21

at all does give you a anxiety

54:23

you don't at least have some one

54:26

a call or write off to about

54:28

any vog and I mean I know

54:30

you do yea abraham into that you

54:32

know like out cancer mom and ask

54:34

this yeah I mean I do think

54:36

about that and I'm but. Ah

54:39

in our i don't know. it's an interesting the

54:41

it's mostly about like whoa whether by. What's.

54:43

My purpose in life like what am I

54:45

doing in out during in life like a Devlin

54:47

makes you think a little bit more about

54:49

that's and a different that about like kids like

54:52

in the sense that in eyes my friends

54:54

who have kids only time man with kids so

54:56

amazing an egg I get all that stuff

54:58

it it's still not enough for me to relax

55:00

and not really interested in that amount, more

55:02

interested in exploring. The. World and

55:04

I love kids and that I I love

55:07

like enough or talk to my friend's kids

55:09

you know about art and and improvisation or

55:11

be silly with them and stuff. I love

55:14

it but I really like having my own

55:16

time to myself and doing way to do

55:18

an. Arm. That's.

55:20

Fun! I love us. Ah

55:23

ends. Yeah, don't know. I know. I

55:25

mean I'm dealing with that nine ounces

55:27

like with. A out knesset

55:29

own have like of full time partner in

55:31

oh thank the am daily yourself getting married

55:34

or an animal now our has any goes

55:36

along with the same I know I know

55:38

I read our i got against twice and

55:40

I was younger and to as I really

55:42

admire you married and I don't think I

55:45

would get married I can imagine like finding

55:47

a partner. And maybe having a ceremony.

55:49

Some of their by wow the go want

55:51

to get legally arm way on that furry

55:53

inner ear as a F? The same have

55:55

you been married before? I've been engaged in

55:57

my daughter's mother and then after year she's

55:59

like. Never mind our yoda! Yeah,

56:01

you know where to go go go

56:04

wedding I but yeah, I agree with

56:06

doing something like. To

56:08

have you go somewhere like I, you

56:10

know, whatever. Go to Italy, get married

56:12

yeah and come back and all parties

56:14

yes home because P S Party Done

56:16

have the same price tag as wedding

56:18

Our my guys especially on a Saturday.

56:20

Pseudo A So right about that. I've

56:23

been so many weddings I'm like why

56:25

as is as people get divorced of

56:27

most most people know at least have

56:29

to physically they do As good as

56:31

I'm Ben, the weddings really been lavished

56:33

and than like six years later five

56:35

years later they get a divorce and

56:37

like. A lot of money,

56:39

A lot of pressure is a lot of

56:41

pressure on the scissors or like we want

56:43

to be together. we're going to be gets.

56:45

I think it's different if you I mean

56:47

if it's I like the low key weddings

56:50

where your legs he can feel the love

56:52

between them. they're excited but it's not the

56:54

not making a big deal of it there

56:56

just for this one celebrates the fact that

56:58

they're getting married and they have these amazing

57:00

friends around them and their families there and

57:02

I love that adding that like such a

57:04

beautiful way to do it on a gonna

57:06

more traditional like in a church. You.

57:08

Now with them a super expensive wedding

57:10

gown and all the nervousness there and

57:12

and stance in the wedding planner spaces,

57:14

it's either I'm like I'm just not

57:17

into the wedding industry the the wedding

57:19

industrial complex. well they that is like

57:21

Industry Metics to that's it announced Save

57:23

Some Money guys says money as savvy

57:25

Good fun, fun part. Of

57:28

this I hope you are. I'll be fine

57:30

whenever you're looking for solo out there bro.

57:32

Yeah, it's it's out there, this this fun

57:34

stuff out there aren't Thank you for doing

57:36

this for Ios has been great. Ah

57:39

I'm can I ask you now I'm

57:41

advice you would give to sixteen are

57:43

already lots. Of by said

57:46

get to succeed Ah it's am. Had.

57:51

A Say try to try to get better at

57:54

communicating. Your feelings. And

57:57

spicy. Romantically linked to skip.

58:00

Rick men and. communicating.

58:02

With people that your romantic with

58:05

probably the most. And

58:07

why you say that what did

58:09

something happen and we were all

58:11

sixteen? Like you're just yeah. But

58:13

you're right. It's great advice an

58:15

ever greater right. Well, as like

58:17

Ina I loved. I like dating.

58:19

In our lots of people and so I would.

58:22

See a lotta different women in different periods of

58:24

my life. you know by any even like make

58:27

the long term relationships and things like that I

58:29

didn't know how to communicate etti know how to

58:31

communicate with. I became. More

58:33

vulnerable enough to become vulnerable and

58:35

the vulnerability is what creates closeness and

58:37

so I was always try To me

58:40

I relationships are but fantasy and my

58:42

perpetuating good times and some which is

58:44

sweet can have notion but it

58:46

doesn't only get you so far as

58:49

ago it is. Maybe come

58:51

up with some differ realizations and life

58:53

and I. Practice. That

58:55

a lot more. Realize that that was

58:58

important. full of an earlier. That's great

59:00

advice. Yes, I'm again plugin. promote. Plot.

59:03

Promo: Yeah, I'll have it. Rough Time: I'm

59:05

A. I'm A. I'm a special. I'm filming

59:07

and March at the gets going to come

59:09

out. And on for twenty. Not

59:12

totally sure but the said yes and

59:14

then I'm yeah. my book that's out

59:16

and rifles Montana so you can get

59:18

that wherever you get. Bizarre. so did

59:20

not a of books a can listen

59:23

to. Asthma? Awesome! Thank you very much

59:25

for doing the show. Now as always

59:27

Rise Sickler are also some meteorite sickler.com

59:29

will talk the all next.