0:02

Welcome to good intentions, the podcast

0:05

where we explore the world around us to find meaning

0:07

and intention in what we do. I'm

0:09

Kelly Harvard, and I'm on a mission to spread positive

0:12

stories that will inspire you to live a more meaningful

0:14

and connected life. I

0:18

just love it when my incredible guests

0:20

recommend other incredible guests to be on the show.

0:22

And that is exactly what happened with this episode. Earlier

0:25

this year, I interviewed the wonderful Shereen Architalx

0:28

who was a corporate Alchemist NOLA . She led

0:30

me to hip up I'll you. Who has an equally

0:32

brilliant job title? She's a mind. Hacker

0:35

was one of the world's top mindset therapists. He

0:37

lives in psychologists . She helps liberate

0:39

people from deeply held blocks, negative beliefs

0:42

and trauma to live their most fulfilled

0:44

life, a trained psychologist who combines

0:46

traditional practices with those of energy

0:48

and healing, HIPAA quit her corporate job

0:50

to choose this new life path. As you can

0:52

imagine, she's full of guts and spa.

0:55

And she had me hooked from the very first word we

0:57

spoke about how the first seven years of our lives are

0:59

crucial in setting the shape of the rest of our

1:01

lives and how we can unpick that programming.

1:03

We talked about how to stay connected to what's important

1:06

to us and how to stay fulfilled. If you work

1:08

in the corporate world, a self-confessed growth

1:10

addict, HIPAA believes that if you're not growing,

1:12

you're dying and her energy and wisdom is so

1:14

uplifting. She believes that we

1:16

create our reality. And after our conversation,

1:19

I felt inspired to go off and do exactly the same.

1:21

I hope you do too. Thanks so much

1:23

for joining me today. It's fantastic to have

1:25

you on the show as a guest.

1:27

Well, I'm happy to be here. I'm excited

1:29

to have this chat with you today, and I love the

1:31

name of the podcast, but good intentions. Love

1:33

it. It's so cool.

1:36

And when it comes to sort of a great titles, I

1:38

mean, I think you have possibly the most interesting,

1:40

incredible, fascinating job title I've

1:42

ever heard, which is mine, TACA

1:45

. I mean, what is that? What

1:47

is it? What does it involve

1:49

For me? I came up with the name

1:52

mine hacker, because that was really what

1:54

I was doing. I couldn't actually find a

1:56

name for what I was doing. And one of my

1:58

friends actually said to me, you're hacking

2:00

my brain every time I see you. It's like

2:02

you had my brain. And

2:04

I'm like, interesting. I like

2:06

that. Can I steal it? And that's how

2:08

this whole thing started as the mind

2:11

hacker . I was just going by, I'm above

2:13

all the AMA psychologist , but then I

2:15

wasn't doing traditional psychology.

2:17

So people were kind of confused

2:20

and I couldn't find a real name

2:22

for it. And that's how the story started.

2:24

One of my friends says you have my mind.

2:26

And I was like, oh, that's cool.

2:29

Yeah . Okay. I'm the wine hacker right now. And everything.

2:32

I actually got built based on that conversation.

2:34

The school of mine nagging my students

2:36

right now are called the mind hackers, you

2:39

know? So everything is based on that. So,

2:41

yeah.

2:42

Amazing. So when you say mine, Taki

2:45

, would you say, you know, I'm a psychologist for what I'm

2:47

doing, isn't traditional psychology. So how

2:49

is it different? I mean, talk us through why it's different

2:51

than how it changes for

2:53

It's completely different because

2:56

psychologist use Western psychology

2:59

and like the Western way of doing things,

3:01

which is the traditional way of therapy,

3:03

which means CBT using a

3:06

curl Tagliani as a segment for it, all

3:08

these kind of fathers of psychology,

3:10

these methodologies. I use some

3:12

of that, but I use a lot of Eastern

3:14

psychology as way , which is energy

3:17

shock was understanding that you're

3:19

not just a mind that you're

3:21

also a body as spiritual. So

3:24

putting all three things together,

3:26

you're no longer in that same

3:29

paradigm of traditional therapy.

3:31

And a lot of people come with the expectations

3:33

to just sit with me and let

3:36

me ask them a few questions and hear them out. And

3:38

that's completely what I don't do. So

3:42

if you know, in a traditional therapy session,

3:44

you would come and speak for maybe if the one

3:46

hour session for 50 minutes and maybe

3:48

five minutes, I'll be kind of interjecting

3:50

with the sessions right now. What we

3:52

do, you come and you tell me your problem in five minutes.

3:55

And then we're, co-creating a Cole

3:57

solving your issue subconsciously

4:00

for the next 45 minutes. So

4:02

it's a completely upside down

4:05

kind of that's where I say, it's nothing like psychology.

4:07

And I like to always put that caveat out there

4:09

and kind of be like, it's not what you expect. Come

4:11

with an open mind. We're going to do some energy

4:13

work, some breath, work, some meditation

4:15

, some subconscious, some NLP, some hypnotherapy.

4:19

It's really a mixture of a lot of

4:21

things simultaneously to hack

4:23

you. Every single human being is different.

4:25

We can't use one tool in order

4:28

for us to fix that one person.

4:31

You are not all going to react

4:33

to the same things. It's like having a shelf and

4:35

you only have that hammer. Well, the

4:37

shelf might need a little bit more than just

4:39

a hammer and he's the measuring equipment.

4:41

It needs a screwdriver , maybe. So

4:43

the mind is exactly the same. We

4:45

have to have multiple tools as professionals

4:48

in our arsenals and finding which

4:50

one is the appropriate tool for

4:52

you. That's why I don't want to put a label

4:54

on it and say, it's mind hacking , whatever tool is going

4:56

to come out in the actual session is

4:59

the tool that's going to be best for you.

5:01

So I'm interested in that as you were talking. So how , how

5:04

do you decide, which is the best tool for

5:06

each person? I mean, does it, does it come out in the session?

5:08

I feel like comes now from experience.

5:10

So I have a kind of a plethora

5:12

of black on all kinds of what they would

5:14

call an growth addict.

5:17

So I'm addicted to learning everything

5:19

that is out there. And I have a saying

5:21

that if I can learn one thing from

5:24

whatever I learned, I've gained. So

5:27

if I go to a three week worksheet

5:29

workshop and I learn one thing

5:31

I've learned appropriately, I got the information

5:34

I needed. So that was a success. So

5:36

I've been in this field for about seven years. I'm

5:40

kind of already now done 13

5:42

modalities of different kinds of healings.

5:45

I'm a background of a psychology or

5:47

as a psychologist, I've worked with Tony

5:49

Robbins for a couple of years. So I've

5:52

kind of done a whole bunch of stuff.

5:54

And right now I just kind of know this is going to work

5:56

for person. This is not going to work for this person.

5:59

And during the session, I'm just bringing out those

6:01

tools and seeing what best fits for

6:03

you. A lot of people, for example,

6:05

don't like being told

6:07

that you're going to close your eyes. So how

6:10

can I deal with a person who doesn't want to close their

6:12

eyes in a session? Some people don't

6:14

want to be touched in a session. So Reiki

6:16

would not work on them, or anytime

6:18

of energy healing does not work on them. So I have to

6:21

take them on another route. It's

6:23

my job to find the way

6:25

to help a person hack whatever's

6:27

going on with them at that point, whatever

6:29

your problem is, it's my responsibility

6:32

to find the tool for you. So

6:35

this is kind of why I say it's like,

6:37

you have to kind of be a Jack of all trades

6:40

when it comes to what you're in, like psychology

6:42

for me, I have to know everything and

6:45

I have to use the appropriate tools during

6:47

that session to give you the best results.

6:49

Okay. And do you ever get any resistance? I mean, and

6:51

the people I'm sure that people are coming into their research

6:53

do, but if they will , in thinking they're going to have a very

6:55

traditional

6:58

Yes, of course I get resistance.

7:00

And I feel like part of what

7:02

we do, the job itself, people

7:05

already have subconscious

7:07

belief , structures and stereotypes

7:09

based on what we do. And

7:11

they have an impression of how it might be just

7:14

from TV, because in TV, when

7:16

you've been conditioned, you see a psychiatrist

7:18

putting you on a couch and

7:20

having a book and pen and saying, tell

7:22

me how you feel. We've been conditioned through

7:24

media, our whole entire life. That that's

7:27

what it is. That is what healing. So when

7:29

you sit down and you started telling me

7:31

your problem, and I'm like, all right, wrap it up,

7:34

let's start working on it. You're like, well, but

7:36

I didn't express myself yet. I'm like, yeah,

7:38

I don't need to know more. We'll discover more

7:40

in your subconscious later on during

7:42

the session. But people resist

7:44

that part. Like, let me finish, but let

7:47

me, so I've learned to kind of give

7:49

them the priming, the precondition

7:51

before they've come. So you'll receive an email

7:53

that tells you exactly how it's going to go and

7:55

kind of just let you know,

7:58

it's not going to be what you are conditioned

8:00

to believe it is. And I think with

8:02

that resistance has been less.

8:04

Yeah, I can imagine that would , could be a bit of a shock if you weren't

8:06

prepared for it, right? Like you say, with contraceptives

8:09

, I'm going to

8:11

tell you that story about this and this problem that I've gone

8:13

. Interesting. You've obviously

8:15

got this really unique aptitude for coaching

8:17

and sort of bringing out the best in people

8:20

and also combining it with your spiritual side

8:22

and this whole spiritual energy element. I mean, what

8:24

made you start reading this? What made you sort

8:26

of feel that this was your calling?

8:29

It was rock bottom that made me, I was depressed.

8:31

I was super depressed.

8:34

I was already a psychologist, but I wasn't working

8:36

in psychology. I studied psychology at school.

8:38

I did my masters and so forth. And then

8:40

I moved and started working in HR. And

8:42

I was like a broken robot

8:44

doing day in and day out. And I just did not

8:47

feel fulfilled in my life, but I never took

8:49

action because , you know, we're so conditioned to be

8:51

grateful for what we had. And I had an amazing

8:53

job and I was abundant

8:56

in anything I wanted at that point in my life.

8:58

And I just didn't feel alive. I felt

9:00

dead inside and I still wouldn't take action

9:02

until it gets a catastrophe

9:05

happen . I lost my dad. I was

9:07

investing in a business and I lost

9:09

1.5 million. And

9:12

I got diagnosed with diabetes because of

9:14

the stress of all that. I was going within three months

9:17

of my life, three months. So my dad

9:19

was diagnosed with cancer and then he went through his battle.

9:21

I was going to this business thing was with

9:23

a friend and she took all my money

9:26

and disappeared. And then I

9:28

just kind of was in this place where I was suddenly

9:30

at rock bottom and had no idea why I was

9:32

a rock bottom. And I was actually functionally

9:34

depressed for six months. And people didn't even realize

9:37

I was functionally depressed. And this is why I always

9:39

talk about functional depression is because

9:41

you're operating like any other

9:43

human being. And you're constantly

9:46

in a mode of taking action,

9:48

but you're dead inside. And people

9:51

assume all types of depression means I'm

9:53

going to curl up in a room and cry and

9:55

be dark. That's not all kinds

9:58

of depression. That's one kind of depression.

10:00

So functional depression is you're functioning,

10:02

but you're dead inside. You're , you're a sad, broken

10:05

robot. And I went through that depression

10:07

phase for about six months and I just

10:09

didn't know how to get out of it. And

10:11

even though I was a psychologist, I had the tools,

10:13

I didn't know, practically how to get myself

10:15

out of it. And then one day I was

10:18

watching a TV show and

10:20

the main character had a monologue.

10:22

I don't know if you've seen the Alivia Pope

10:25

in scandal. Olivia

10:28

Pogo scandal kind of had this

10:30

monologue on TV. And she was kind of saying

10:33

, you know, are we gladiators ? Like,

10:35

who are we? You know what? She was like, I dunno . I looked at

10:37

myself and I was like, they touched

10:39

me. And I was like, what am I doing right now with

10:41

my life? Right? Look at me how

10:43

depressed I am. I'm a gladiator.

10:46

I am not this person who does

10:48

not know how to get out of it. And I kind of looked

10:50

myself in the mirror and I took a note and

10:53

I was like, I will never feel like this ever

10:55

again. I woke up the next day. I hit the

10:57

gym at five o'clock in the morning to

10:59

, uh , went, to, went straight to work,

11:01

finished work, left work, went straight to

11:04

the bookstore and just went to the mental

11:06

health section and went like, so

11:09

that re single book that was there. And

11:11

I was like, all right, no more TV, no more. This I'm

11:13

going to do this. And I just wanted to do it selfishly

11:16

for myself to get myself better. And I was

11:18

getting better and better. Every couple of

11:20

months, I felt like I was changing.

11:22

I was becoming, I don't want to say like

11:24

my old self. It was a new self that was

11:26

being created and I

11:28

got obsessed. And I finally

11:31

saw the solution of life that I've always

11:33

been looking for. I mean , these books and

11:36

answers, I probably never looked at it . And I

11:38

wanted to make sure that I took different

11:40

perspectives. And I think that's what really helped

11:42

me is I would read books from people. I've

11:44

never heard the book titles that were

11:46

awkward or didn't make sense. I just

11:49

wanted to consume. And that's when I actually

11:51

fell into the books of Tony Robbins. And

11:53

I went on a YouTube him and he was

11:56

like screaming onto the screen. And

11:58

I was like, this is the man

12:00

that I was waiting for my whole life. Something

12:02

about his energy, like woke me

12:05

up immediately. So I went straight

12:07

into all his stuff, consumed it all,

12:09

booked my ticket to go to see him

12:11

in London when he was doing his thing. And I just

12:13

fell in love with that aspect of life.

12:16

And from then I was still in the corporate

12:18

world. I was paying for all my legal fees

12:20

for the court case that I was with,

12:22

with a person who stole the money. So I , I , but

12:25

I was like going to work and I did

12:27

not feel like it was fulfilling me anymore,

12:29

even though it was an awesome job. I was the

12:31

head of happiness and module for theme . And it was like

12:33

an amazing job. I was having fun

12:36

all the time, but I was just like, it was

12:38

like the sense of this is not for

12:40

me. And I just took the decision

12:42

to quit without even knowing what it was

12:44

that I was going to do. At that point, I thought I was

12:46

going to be in business and started. I started

12:48

a few things on the side and then at that

12:50

point, but I was like, I just, I wasn't a coach

12:53

yet, but I was like, I'm an entrepreneur. That's what

12:55

I am. And I thought that was what, that's what I

12:57

was, but it's what I needed to get out

12:59

of the corporate world. And that's when I started

13:01

the smash room and I started another

13:03

startup. I'm not, I'm going to help startups with their mindset

13:06

just to help them be positive, like Tony

13:08

Robbins. And I just kind of got deeper

13:10

and deeper into that. The minute I was out of the

13:12

corporate world, it was like the universe, everything

13:15

into the right place and was like,

13:18

this is what you're going to do. And that's when I,

13:20

I spent the next like couple of years

13:22

just consuming information and

13:24

going to courses and getting accredited , left

13:27

and right with everything, still refusing

13:30

and resisting that this was my path. It was just

13:32

like, oh, this is something I'm going to do,

13:34

you know, for me, cause I'm a

13:36

growth junkie, like blah, blah, blah. And

13:38

then every time I sat in a room, this

13:40

was like the last six months before

13:42

I started what I wouldn't doing today. Every

13:45

time I got into a row , somebody would be like, how

13:47

do I book a session with you? How do I book

13:50

a session with you? And I was like, huh

13:52

, interesting. And then one of my coaches

13:54

kind of sat me down and said to me, girl,

13:58

if you don't decide on doing this today,

14:01

like I'm not going to coach you anymore. And I'm like,

14:03

but what is it that I'm going to do these? Like, it

14:05

will come. I felt like back then I

14:07

needed something to add value.

14:09

I didn't know what it was. And

14:12

I found that very quickly because the

14:14

minute I started, I didn't realize

14:17

like I thought I had to be, and

14:19

then there'll be practitioner or a theta healer

14:21

or a psychologist. I had to be one of those

14:23

things. And when I broke that

14:25

barrier that I didn't have to have a label

14:28

and I didn't have to have anything. And I can

14:30

just go into a session and be my best self.

14:33

I then was able to come up with my own

14:35

methodology and modality.

14:38

And when I did, I was like, oh my God,

14:40

I found it. This is what I have to do.

14:42

But there was resistance in that. And now I've

14:45

been on this path for six, seven years

14:47

right now. And I can't look

14:49

at life any other way. You can tell me there's else

14:51

for you out there. I'm like, it

14:53

will be secondary to this.

14:55

Amazing. It's incredible to hear you speak.

14:58

I mean, I can tell as you're speaking, you know , you're , it's clearly

15:00

it's viewed it's who you are, which yeah , it's

15:02

kind of popping up .

15:04

I am born to do this. I a hundred percent

15:06

now know that I'm born to do this . One of the funny

15:08

facts is when I was a kid,

15:10

I used to get in trouble for a few things. One

15:12

of the main things that I used to do to

15:14

get in trouble with is talk. And

15:17

if you come to my sessions and I was really good

15:19

mom with my words and how to spin something around

15:22

and that's what I do on a day-to-day basis today,

15:24

I spin the story inside. People's

15:26

head to change it to something more positive.

15:28

And when I look back and laugh, I'm like, if you actually

15:31

look at kids today, they actually already probably

15:33

have their talent. They're probably getting in trouble

15:35

for it too.

15:37

Oh, they're slowly getting a ground out of them,

15:39

rice or lies as we push them through these

15:41

channels that we have through a society

15:43

that we've created. I'm really fascinated by the

15:45

fact that you, you know , you were in this very corporate job,

15:47

but then you're kind of having this awakening that, you know,

15:50

this has made me not speaking to your soul. I mean,

15:52

how did that feel as you were kind of having that

15:54

realization and then, and then the , the final time

15:56

when you decided, okay, I'm going to walk away from this beautiful

15:59

job that I really enjoy. That's

16:01

great paycheck and maybe some housing and a

16:03

fives and this and that and the spray , the people. I mean, how

16:06

does it feel when you're , you're realizing this isn't

16:08

for you and then how do you make the final decision and

16:10

step away from it?

16:11

It was scary. I kid you not, it was

16:13

scary because for

16:15

me, at least in my background, no one

16:18

in my family or my upbringing has ever

16:20

left the corporate job to do something

16:23

of their own. My dad retired

16:25

from the same company. He joined as

16:27

a teenager, and then he started

16:30

his business after retirement, but he

16:32

was there for all his life. And that's

16:34

kind of how, what it was installed in us, our

16:36

, my whole life, whether it was just stolen than me, is that

16:38

you stay there and loyalty to the company

16:41

and all that. And if you leave a company,

16:43

you leave a company because you're miserable. So

16:46

that was the rule like that was the unspoken

16:49

rule in my family. And it was

16:51

in my subconscious as well. And I had

16:53

to realize that I had to follow

16:55

my heart every day. I went to the office,

16:58

even though externally look beautiful internally,

17:00

I was dying. I felt like pieces

17:02

of my soul was like

17:05

being crushed. And one funny

17:07

thing that happened is I got a manifestation

17:10

of a semi of an illness

17:12

while I was there. My hips

17:14

would walk and every time I'd walk into

17:16

the office, my hips would tied in and

17:18

they would lock. And I couldn't would be an excruciating

17:21

pain that for the last couple of

17:23

months of me in the corporate world, I

17:25

was working while standing because

17:27

I couldn't sit on my desk and I

17:29

would go to doctors and they told me, I don't

17:31

know how old I was. I at that point at 28 years

17:34

old, I needed a hip replacement. Okay.

17:37

And I knew for sure that this

17:39

was psychosomatic. Like this was me,

17:41

my body telling me, get the hell

17:44

outta here. We're not going to even let you stay.

17:46

And that's actually what pushed me to leave

17:48

the pain that I couldn't sit on

17:50

a chair anymore was like, I need to

17:52

go. And then I took a decision and I went

17:54

on a vacation for one month

17:57

and I went back home to Canada. And I remember

18:00

the minute I got on a flight, I sat

18:02

on the flight for 18 hours

18:04

and I felt no pain. And

18:06

that's when I knew it was over. Like, that

18:09

was what had to happen . And since that

18:11

day have never had that pain again, happened

18:13

to me. And I was like, it was excruciating

18:16

pain. So that was your , my body's way of telling

18:18

me, get the hell outta here. It's done.

18:21

It's done. Like your time is up when you're actually

18:23

Stopping you from getting in.

18:26

Because I think I would've stayed because of fear a

18:28

little bit longer, but because I had

18:30

that physical symptom, I

18:32

will make the decision quicker.

18:33

Gosh, what does it say

18:36

? Credible? I have spoken to numerous people about this mind

18:38

body connection, and we ignore it a lot.

18:40

You know , we don't pay attention to our bodies . It talking to us

18:42

all the time. It just depends on the time we're

18:45

prepared to listen and actually act,

18:47

I guess, depending on what it's trying to tell us a

18:50

Hundred percent,

18:51

You've got this beautiful and the group of clients that come

18:53

to you and you're coaching them. I mean, have you seen

18:55

a big increase recently or, you know, how, how

18:57

has it changed in terms of people coming to you?

19:00

Definitely increased. I

19:02

feel like for me, COVID was the best thing that

19:04

ever happened because I

19:06

actually wasn't in the U S when the lock down happened

19:08

and I continued

19:11

to like, see my clients via zoom.

19:13

So I was already seeing them via zoom

19:15

because I was traveling and

19:17

then it kind of solidified that everything

19:19

goes on to zoom. And for me, that

19:21

was like a blessing. Because in that time

19:23

I was able to restructure my business in

19:25

a way to make it all online as well.

19:28

I never sold any change in

19:30

kind of like the fluctuations. I was busy

19:32

before I am still busy right now, but

19:35

I see that the demographic of people

19:37

that are coming have changed before,

19:39

I would see people who are like burnt out

19:42

or into the growth mindset who believe

19:44

they need a coach. Right now. I see

19:46

people who are eight years old,

19:50

you know , like their parents were like, listen,

19:52

I'm not going to invest in anything, except

19:54

this for them, like heal them like half

19:56

their mindset already. And I can see people

19:59

who are at age 60, this

20:01

is the new demographic before it was 25

20:03

to 35. Now I see a whole

20:05

range of people. And I think that for

20:07

me, has been the most interesting shift

20:10

or change is that parents are

20:12

now bringing their children to get this

20:14

as part of their life , like same way. My kid's

20:17

going to go do tennis this week. They're going to

20:19

come do a session. And the

20:21

older generation where people kind of already

20:23

ruled them out, like they can change

20:25

are coming by themselves because they

20:27

see their daughters or sons

20:29

changing during the process. So they're

20:31

more curious. So they asked to come for

20:33

a session or two, and then they find some

20:36

relief. And they're like, how do we not

20:38

know about this? So this shift

20:40

and this big demographic shift is what I've

20:42

actually noticed. And I love it.

20:44

That's fascinating. I mean, I'd love to know what happens

20:46

in a session with an eight year old. I mean, how are

20:48

they in some ways easier to talk to and

20:51

to present their minds are more,

20:53

I mean, the difference is that their

20:56

memories were a year ago where

20:58

a 28 year old their memory was 20

21:00

years ago because most of the work I do

21:02

is around the time of imprinting

21:05

and the imprinting age zero seven.

21:07

And most of our subconscious mind is

21:10

actually developed between the age of zero

21:12

to seven. And then we run the same

21:14

programmings until we're a hundred or until

21:16

we die from zero to seven. So

21:18

nothing you're running today in your subconscious

21:20

mind is new. You know, it's

21:22

all outdated information that is just

21:24

reciprocating and repeating itself in a

21:26

way in these patterns and cycles

21:29

that make you who you are. So for

21:31

an eight year old, what I would maybe

21:33

need two sessions to fix where

21:35

the 28 year old with an eight year old,

21:37

I can fix so much

21:39

in one session. Yeah . I can fix all the

21:41

eight years in a session pretty much.

21:44

And I love, I love seeing how

21:46

the, their parents are

21:48

so happy with the shift. Like for me, the

21:51

kids don't even know how big the

21:53

shift is because they're young, but the parent

21:55

who comes to you and goes, my kid has insomnia

21:57

and had the insomnia is no longer there

21:59

after a session. And or my, my kid

22:02

used to struggle with eating and now does

22:04

not have any eating structure. What

22:06

is this? They call it like, what is the source or

22:08

you're doing in the sessions ? And I'm like, yeah, his

22:11

memory was a couple of months ago,

22:13

maybe maximum two years

22:15

ago. It's right there. They're still limber.

22:17

They're still remembering him . And it also,

22:20

it can change so easily. Interesting.

22:22

Okay .

22:23

Interested in the fact you used the bug fix. So is it that people are

22:25

coming to you, whether it's adult child with

22:27

what , a problem that they want solved or

22:29

is it something? Yeah .

22:31

And there's also maybe my language, cause I

22:33

go fix everything. That's kind of also how I

22:35

use words, but yes, they come with

22:37

a problem and we reprogram

22:40

it into their subconscious mind. So if

22:42

somebody comes to me today and they have an issue

22:44

at work, I will be like, we

22:46

can fix it. And then were like, what?

22:48

You can change my boss. I'm like, no, but I'll fix

22:51

the part of you. That feels not

22:53

good enough that every time your boss say something

22:55

you feel triggered. And that probably

22:58

started between zero to seven, when you were

23:00

triggered by a parent figure or

23:02

an authority figure. So I'll be like, so tell

23:04

me the first time you ever felt like you were not

23:06

good enough with your parents. And we were work

23:08

on that memory with them and

23:11

, and the parent, and it would

23:13

resolve what's going on in the work environment.

23:16

Wow. Everything that's going on

23:18

outside of us is actually inside

23:20

of us. What triggers us is within us.

23:23

So something outside of you is triggering

23:25

you. This is kind of a signal from the universe.

23:27

Hey, you got to work on this. This is something

23:29

internal that is repeating and only

23:32

you can heal it internally. Where is

23:34

it? Internally? Internally, it's in our subconscious

23:37

mind. And we built that our

23:39

subconscious mind is a super brain it's

23:41

developed in such a way that it can store

23:43

every single thing that's ever happened to you

23:45

across all the times in lives and paradigms

23:48

and at one place.

23:49

And then it's just going to keep things out lessons

23:52

from them .

23:53

Exactly. And it , if you don't control,

23:55

your subconscious mind is going to control you.

23:58

And that's when we see people with high anxiety,

24:00

high stress, high emotional

24:02

discomfort, that's all because

24:04

there's, this is all bottled up in your subconscious

24:07

mind and you haven't been able to control your subconscious

24:09

mind or regulate it. So

24:11

today you are being

24:13

regulated by it. Yeah.

24:15

So people come to you because they , they either want to solve

24:17

this problem or they want to sort of start

24:19

self-regulating and becoming the masters

24:22

themselves rather than

24:23

Exactly. Exactly. Yeah.

24:26

So I'm really interested in the whole, you know, the

24:28

way we live now is essentially not how we're

24:30

really meant to live, right? So we live in these, you

24:32

know, to use this corporate world, we

24:34

live in, you know, sort of disparate groups, you know, we

24:36

used to live in this sort of tribal groups.

24:39

You know, I think I read recently that the optimum

24:41

number of people together is like 75.

24:43

It's this sort of number . So

24:45

if you want it to make a connection with somebody, or if you wanted to get

24:47

wisdom from somebody, it was there, it was within your groups

24:50

. So we're so disconnected now, you know, we can't

24:52

just knock on the door of that tribal elder. I

24:54

mean, how can we have others coming to , to

24:56

you and to experts like you ? It was just fantastic,

24:58

but how can we try and find these connections

25:00

with other people so that we don't feel so much

25:03

Connect with yourself? Kelly, the

25:06

only way that we can connect with

25:08

other people is if we connect with

25:11

ourselves first, a lot of the work

25:13

is internal. A lot of what we

25:15

have to do in our life is understand us,

25:18

connect with ourselves . We're so disconnected.

25:20

We're a society that is so disconnected from

25:22

self and connected to everything

25:25

external. And

25:27

we searched for everything to be from the outside

25:29

in, but everything is from the inside out.

25:32

So how can somebody connect

25:34

with others, connect with yourself when

25:37

you were in true, authentic

25:39

congruence with yourself. When you know

25:41

who you are, you know how to connect yourself with

25:43

love. You know how to love yourself

25:45

unconditionally, and you have self

25:48

worth of who you are and what you do in your world.

25:50

Your connections with other people are

25:52

instantaneous. I've noticed this in

25:54

my career that people

25:57

just see me and come up to me now on the, on

25:59

the street, they don't even know me. They've never seen

26:01

me. And it just tells me that the deepest, darkest

26:03

secrets straight off the bat. And

26:06

I, we have an internal joke with me and my

26:08

friends, because there's always

26:11

one person out of somewhere. That'll

26:13

just walk up with me. Well, maybe you need elevator.

26:16

And I'll say, how are you doing? And they'll be like, ah

26:18

, my husband just left me and Lola

26:20

. And they would go into like , like their deepest

26:24

Sega . And they go, I don't know why. I just told you that. And

26:26

I believe it's because I've already connected

26:28

to myself that I'm able to hold this space,

26:31

energetically that when people enter

26:33

my space, they automatically feel like they connect

26:35

with me. And this is something

26:38

that I've kind of really focused on. The last

26:40

couple of years of my life was self-love . We

26:42

are. So that love is, is

26:44

conditional. That we don't even know

26:46

how to love ourselves. Unconditionally.

26:48

We have rules on how to love ourselves. Even

26:51

when you connect with yourself, a lot of people they'll

26:53

connect with themselves alone. Time means doing

26:55

something externally, going to the spa, going

26:57

to the beach. I'm like, when do you sit

27:00

down with yourself and

27:02

just stay there doing nothing. And

27:04

you just sit and actually go, I'm here. Me

27:07

and you let's connect.

27:10

Never . Yeah.

27:11

Well, most people can't even look at themselves in the mirror,

27:13

right? There's an exercise where you just act like what's in the mirror

27:15

and look in your own eyes and say, you know, I love you.

27:17

And like I was reading something yesterday about this new

27:19

thing where you high-fives yourself in the mirror. And

27:23

people either laugh because it feels funny

27:25

or they cry. They actually

27:27

cried .

27:28

Did a mirror workshop a few , um,

27:30

a few weeks ago, I think I was in October that

27:32

I did a mirror workshop and

27:35

we put everybody in a room and gave them individual

27:37

mirrors. And we did a whole mirror exercise

27:39

to show you your patterns of

27:41

how you address life. Because field can

27:43

see the mirror. The mirrors are reflection of life

27:46

for you. And there was people who,

27:48

the minute they looked at the mirror just judged themselves.

27:50

And there were people who didn't even, couldn't even

27:52

look in the mirror. And some people who,

27:54

you know , did everything in exercise except looking

27:57

at the mirror. And that means has how you need to

27:59

do life. So self-connection

28:01

the connection with self. And I think what right

28:03

now for me usually is the main focus

28:06

point that I like to always, literally it is that

28:09

we're in a world though . There are so many distractions

28:12

and our focus is actually

28:14

one of the most highest commodities out

28:16

there. There's everything that's out there is trying to take

28:18

your attention and take your focus. And

28:21

it's working because less people are focused

28:24

and connected on themselves and more focused

28:26

and connected with the external world. And

28:29

we were constantly told, you must do

28:31

this externally. You have to do this.

28:33

And you have to do that. You have to make more friends.

28:35

You have to be social. You have to go out, you

28:38

don't have to do Jack. You

28:40

only have to connect with yourself. And

28:43

only from when you connect yourself that

28:45

you'll get into a place where you're aligned

28:48

to your true self, that you're able

28:50

to tend to base your decisions on

28:52

. I'm not going to do that, or am I not

28:54

going to do that? And that requires

28:56

self-awareness and self connection. So

28:59

that's the answer it's always been ,

29:03

But so how can we sort of put

29:05

more attention than a more time on that? I mean,

29:07

you know , especially if you're busy, you're working, you might

29:09

have a couple of kids you've got to take to school in the morning.

29:11

You got to get them back. You're trying to juggle a corporate job.

29:14

I mean, how can we bring this attention to,

29:17

Let's start with allocating five to 10 minutes

29:19

for yourself in quiet time every day

29:21

. And all you do is go into a room and

29:24

you just meditate for five to 10 minutes.

29:26

Meditation for me is one of the best forms

29:28

of self reflection and self connection.

29:31

Just taking a deep breath in mindfully.

29:34

If you're connecting to yourself, one of the things I do every

29:36

morning is, is I meditate. But part

29:38

of my meditation is going

29:40

through every part of my body and saying

29:43

good morning to my organs. Good

29:45

morning to my eyes. Good morning to my nose

29:47

. Good morning. And I just go, good morning, good morning.

29:49

And I go bring my consciousness from the top

29:51

to my tilt . And then I go backwards

29:54

upwards. How y'all feeling today . That's

29:57

self-connection . We have to connect with us ourselves

30:00

internally in order for us to know what's going

30:02

on. So a lot of people have

30:04

symptoms all day long of pain. Pain

30:06

is the last thing that shows up.

30:09

That's the last red flag that shows up as

30:12

a sign from you to you. So

30:14

we're so conditioned that the only way we pay

30:16

attention is by pain, that

30:18

we stopped noticing ourselves

30:20

when we're in a good mood or in a good

30:22

state of mind. We don't notice ourselves

30:25

when we're in a good state of mind, but we bring

30:27

about pain in order to pay attention.

30:30

And I'm so glad that you said five, 10 minutes of meditation,

30:33

because I used to always struggle with this. Like

30:35

what if my 30 minutes? And I've got to sit down and I've got

30:37

to do this. And like, that is, can be quite hard.

30:39

So like five 10 .

30:41

Yeah. Especially when you're starting, you

30:43

know, when you're starting, I would say one minute,

30:45

like I don't even push my, I go to my

30:47

clients and you can do one minute a day.

30:50

That's already a win for us. That's

30:52

one minute better than yesterday. Right?

30:54

We give ourselves these unrealistic

30:57

goals to achieve because we've only

30:59

been conditioned that achievement

31:01

is, needs to be substantial and huge

31:05

achievement means doing something

31:07

better than yesterday. We're

31:09

in the society of perfection instead

31:11

of progress. I don't like perfection.

31:14

I like progress. If yesterday you did zero

31:16

minutes and today you did one minute progress.

31:19

Let's celebrate that

31:20

Music to my ears. I couldn't agree more. And

31:23

I want to skip back to something you said about your family and , and

31:25

your dad had had this job that was very sort of, you know,

31:27

followed this path. I mean, you're , you've got into

31:29

a very traditional career path. I mean, how,

31:31

how did they react to that and how has that gone along

31:33

with it?

31:35

So I still have to educate them a

31:37

lot about what I do, because it's

31:39

very stereotypical or you

31:41

work with crazy people and it's like, I actually

31:44

don't work with any crazy

31:46

people, you know ? But

31:49

a big thing I learned a few years ago

31:51

is you need to live life for you.

31:53

Everybody's lived their life. Everybody's advice

31:56

comes from a very good place, but that's

31:58

their perception and that's their experience.

32:01

So you have a choice every time

32:03

you hear feedback or,

32:05

or advice you say, I hear

32:07

you, thank you. And then you take

32:09

it and you internalize it and see if this

32:12

is for you. A lot of the advice

32:14

I got was not for me, it was from

32:16

them, for them, it would work for

32:19

them, but it would not work for me. And

32:21

I think one of the major things I got

32:23

good at over time was knowing

32:25

what's good for me. And

32:28

even sometimes what's good for me can be a disaster,

32:31

but it was good for me from the point of learning

32:33

or experiencing my own experiences

32:36

in life. So the

32:38

way I say this is is no one

32:40

has to like what you do, as

32:42

long as you're happy with what you're doing. No

32:44

one has to agree with it for me at this

32:46

point in life. It's like, I believe that everybody's

32:48

on their path to achieve whatever they want

32:51

to do. Even if it's failure. If I

32:53

would see a person intentionally failing.

32:55

And even though they have everything in line

32:57

for them, and they're still failing, I feel

32:59

like that's a choice. That's their

33:02

choice. That's their life that they want to live.

33:04

Let them continue in that path. We're so used

33:06

to saving people and getting in

33:08

there and going like AMI help you. Everybody

33:11

has free will. That's unsolicited

33:13

advice. That's unsolicited help. If I,

33:16

every time somebody fails, I go in and

33:18

save them. I'm incorporating

33:20

a new belief structure where I'm disabling

33:23

this person to actually find

33:25

it within them to save themselves. So

33:27

I like a very hands-off approach unless

33:29

you come directly and tell me, Hey, I need

33:32

help. So I take a step

33:34

back. I'm like, it's your life? What would you choose

33:36

to do? Now, if you ask for guidance,

33:38

you get the guidance . I don't expect you to

33:40

follow the guidance.

33:42

Yeah, very true. And this kind of links

33:45

to my next question, which was, I love this quote

33:47

that you said, which was , um , we only keep

33:49

bad behavior. If it serves us in some way,

33:51

it gives us a benefit in some way. I mean, how

33:54

can that be? That we keep it. And then how can

33:56

we break free from it? Ultimately,

33:59

This is how our mind is wired. That

34:01

was my way of interpreting the subconscious

34:03

mind and toxic behaviors. We keep toxic

34:06

behaviors or negative behaviors or limiting beliefs because

34:08

our subconscious mind is designed to

34:10

protect us. So when

34:13

we're doing something, let's take procrastination. For

34:16

an example, procrastination

34:18

is something a lot of people suffer

34:20

with and you beat yourself up

34:22

for procrastinating all the time. Why

34:24

would you continue to procrastinate

34:26

and then beat yourself up for it? You can just stop

34:29

procrastinating. If it was that simple,

34:31

everybody would have done it so far. The reason

34:33

why it's not simple is because

34:36

there's something underneath

34:39

the waterline underneath the iceberg

34:41

that is they're

34:44

making you behave in such a way

34:46

it's making you do the things you don't

34:48

want to do when you still do them. So

34:50

if we just look at procrastination, for example,

34:53

procrastination is quote by quote

34:55

perfection, but it's in the drilling

34:58

that comes from that.

35:00

There's a drill in that pushes

35:02

you last minute to work. So

35:04

you get addicted to that. And

35:07

when you're addicted to the adrenaline, you don't

35:09

actually stop. So how does

35:11

it benefit you as well to procrastinate?

35:14

Well , another way is you feel very smart

35:16

that you've managed to do a task in an hour

35:18

that you had a week or two weeks to do it. So

35:20

it's kind of a little nod to yourself for doing

35:22

it. That's the way it benefits you and serves

35:25

you every single bad behavior

35:27

or bad pattern you do find,

35:30

how does it benefit you? And you can

35:32

actually unlock it for yourself,

35:35

Trusting , gosh, I've got a list I want to start.

35:40

Um, so you have done this right? Cool for

35:43

job. And I'm sure there's a lot of people listening that, you know, getting

35:45

up, going to work every day. I mean, how can we

35:47

find more fulfillment in that?

35:49

How can we, you know, if you have got this sort of spiritual

35:51

belief structure, how can you balance that with getting,

35:54

getting in your car and driving to work and putting on your suit

35:56

and taking on that different persona every day ? And how can

35:58

we jump in and balance?

36:00

I have two key virtues

36:02

that I believe this is my belief. This

36:04

is not science. Just my belief on what fulfillment

36:07

is. Fulfillment for me is growth

36:09

and contribution. When you're constantly

36:12

growing, you feel automatically

36:15

that something is changing in

36:17

your life in a positive direction. And

36:19

the second thing is contributing when you are

36:21

off service to people and contributing

36:23

to your community and the people around

36:26

you, that's already another

36:28

thing that puts you in that upwards

36:30

trajectory. So there's

36:33

a lot of things in life that don't give you growth

36:35

and don't give you contribution . And

36:37

if they don't give you that, you're never going to feel fulfilled,

36:40

no matter how much money you have, how much security

36:42

you have, how much safety you have, how much love you

36:44

have. If you're not growing in a relationship

36:47

you're dying. You know, if you're not

36:49

growing and supporting

36:52

your community, you're dying in it. So

36:54

for me, fulfillment is very easy to find something

36:56

that actually just makes you

36:58

grow and find something where you can contribute

37:01

to the community or the people around

37:03

you and you'll feel fulfilled forever.

37:06

Wow. It's just not about you. You come across as a very hopeful

37:08

person having when we're talking, do you feel hopeful

37:10

about the way that life is going at the moment

37:12

,

37:13

Um, who had , that's a trick question,

37:15

but I feel hopeful about the way the world

37:18

is coming. I believe highly

37:20

in the belief structure of I create

37:22

my own reality. I'll just take COVID.

37:24

For example, COVID was horrible

37:26

for a lot of people around the world. I said it was

37:29

the best time of my life. So here's

37:31

a bad thing that happened to everybody

37:33

and different people found it in different ways,

37:35

right? I believe we create our own reality.

37:37

So if I can see, we can both go to the

37:39

same concert and you can come out of the

37:41

concert and be like, that was amazing.

37:43

And I can leave that concert and be like, that was total

37:46

trash. We both were in the same

37:48

place, same musician , same experience,

37:50

but our realities were different. This is

37:52

how I like my reality of the world to be.

37:54

I like to always things that I will

37:57

create the best life for myself,

37:59

in whatever circumstances come on. Now,

38:01

I know that there's a lot happening in the world.

38:03

I'm not blind to it. I just want

38:05

to keep that no matter what happens,

38:08

I'll be able to sustain my mindset

38:10

and sustain the way I think about it in

38:12

a more positive way. Because if we

38:14

focus on the negative, we're only going to

38:16

see the negative, like this whole thing about

38:19

Metta life coming, I'm completely against

38:22

Metta . And this is for me, soul trapping. If I

38:24

take you out of your reality of actually being

38:26

mindful and living your life and taking you

38:28

to a digital place where you're going to be

38:30

consumed all day long, you're going to lose touch

38:32

with yourself. You're going to lose touch with your

38:34

soul, with your spirit. So

38:36

instead of focusing about how scary

38:38

that is, I'm going to just focus that I

38:41

re focus my life, that it's able

38:43

to still be integral

38:45

and mindful and conscious

38:47

of my being this and the people around me

38:50

without being sucked into whatever drama

38:52

that comes from that. So that's my philosophy

38:54

in life. Things happen. You have

38:56

to create your own reality

38:58

Sounds fantastic. And you touched on sort of the people

39:00

that you have around you and , and keeping that energy

39:02

is very important. I get the sense that you have

39:04

a very strong group of people around you that are kind of

39:07

like-minded that are helping

39:08

Yes, a hundred percent. I surround

39:11

myself by very positive people.

39:13

A lot of people were in the same mindset.

39:15

A lot of us are the kind of community

39:17

right now, and we're growing and growing as

39:19

a community as well. It's really

39:21

about the energy, the vibe, the

39:23

vibe check, right? For me, it's

39:25

like, you can be from any walk of life. If

39:27

your energy is great, I want you around

39:29

me. If your energy is not great, I don't

39:32

want to be around you. So a

39:34

part of our self-love journey is

39:36

to protect our energy and make sure that we

39:38

only allow things in our sphere

39:40

that are good energy. And that's one

39:42

of the main things that I said, if you're connected to yourself

39:44

and you understand your energy and the kind of vibe

39:46

you are, and you can actually just attract

39:49

to you, the people who are

39:51

of the same vibe, I walk into

39:53

a street, like I said, and I can meet

39:55

a person I contact when we vibing

39:57

already. And it's like, Hey, how you doing? Blah

40:00

, blah , blah , blah , blah. And you make friends and your

40:02

tribe gets bigger and bigger just

40:04

because , just because of a ride like attracts.

40:06

Like, so if you're , you're

40:08

attracting people that are negative, like

40:11

attracts, like, so you

40:13

have to kind of figure your energy

40:15

out and resolve that. And now you'll start

40:17

attracting what you want in your life.

40:20

If you've got people around, you find not necessarily

40:22

on that side, but you know, kind of, can you try

40:24

and persuade them? Can you bring them with you or is kind

40:27

of a waste ?

40:29

Uh, no, like I said, I don't save people. So what

40:31

I , what I do is for me is

40:34

I can share the information I

40:36

have and I give you the right tools. You have a

40:38

free will and the choice for you to go ahead

40:40

and pursue that path or not. Now, if

40:42

your energy is affecting me, I have an

40:44

honor to myself to protect my energy.

40:47

So that means I will either distance myself from you.

40:49

Or I know I will . I will kind of give

40:51

you the feedback that I

40:53

don't buy. Like we're not vibing at

40:55

the moment. Doesn't mean I don't love you. I

40:57

love you. I just don't vibe with you completely

41:00

different. You can love, this is something people

41:02

don't understand is you can love people.

41:04

You like, I'm going to repeat

41:06

that. You can love people. You don't like,

41:08

you know, and this is where a vibe

41:11

check is. We have a lot of these beliefs just because

41:13

I've been friends with you. Now I have to be friends with

41:15

you forever. Or just because you're family,

41:17

I have to love you forever, or be around you

41:19

forever. These are toxic. These are

41:21

not correct belief structures. Why would I be

41:23

around somebody who was toxic and dishonors

41:25

me the whole time? So I like

41:28

to kind of be very clear with energy.

41:30

Like, I can still love you. I can still spend time

41:32

with you if you need help, but

41:35

you need to be taking action in your life

41:37

to higher increasing your vibration. It's not

41:39

my responsibility to increase your vibration.

41:41

So it's a choice. It's a freewill . You want to do

41:44

it, you do it. You don't want to do it syllabi.

41:47

Yeah. And then I guess that means sometimes you might have to make some

41:50

painful decisions, right? It's about who you have in

41:52

your life . We , you don't.

41:53

Yeah. And they don't actually don't have to be painful decisions.

41:55

It can just be an easy decision. They

41:58

just can be easy decisions. Um, you know, I've

42:00

had to like end friendships and

42:02

businesses and partnerships just based on vibe.

42:05

I still love them . I still check up on him. I

42:07

still do everything, but just, we're not vibrating

42:09

on the same level anymore.

42:12

We're all frequencies. There's a level of frequency

42:14

that we operate in. Just means I'm

42:16

vibrating here. You're vibrating here. Or

42:18

we're vibrating. It doesn't mean that one of

42:20

us was right or wrong. It just means we're not

42:22

vibrating on the same way. Wavelength

42:24

. We can vibrate wherever we want. It's

42:26

our choice. We're not interacting

42:29

right now. We're not intersecting.

42:31

No, I totally got it . I talked to God. I love it. Everything

42:34

that you do, your whole life's purpose is all

42:36

around. Sort of helping other people achieve

42:38

their life's potential. Be that

42:40

best. I mean, what is it that nourishes you?

42:42

Who or what? And I suspect you're going to say

42:44

it comes home .

42:46

Yeah. Who or what nourishes me.

42:49

The correct answer is me. I nourish

42:51

me and I don't say this in a

42:54

like, oh, I'm independent. I need to do everything myself

42:56

type of way. I say it because

42:58

I've come from a background

43:00

where I thought I had

43:03

to have everybody validate me,

43:05

everybody, except me. Everybody loved

43:07

me in order for me to be enough in

43:09

order for me to feel loved. And I had

43:11

to really unlearn that programming

43:14

and understand that it's me. I

43:17

am obliged to nourish myself.

43:19

We all enter marriages and relationships

43:21

and partnerships where we go. They have

43:24

to love me. That's

43:26

the worst thing you can do, which you have

43:28

to love you. And when you're able to love

43:30

yourself, you're actually going to feel the other

43:32

person's love. So everything

43:34

for us has to come from within. Everything

43:36

has to come from within no more

43:39

. You cannot dependent ask for people

43:41

to nourish you. When you don't notice yourself,

43:43

you can't ask for people to love you when you

43:45

don't love yourself. That's just not

43:48

how it works. You fill your cup up.

43:50

You love yourself. First, you nourish

43:52

yourself first. And

43:54

then you're going to just slowly start to see

43:57

that other people actually love you because

43:59

now you're worthy of being loved. It's an inside

44:01

job. It's an inside job.

44:03

So this podcast is obviously it's called good intentions.

44:05

And I'm trying to sort of look

44:08

at what intentions can we set for ourselves?

44:10

What practical tips do you have to sort of

44:12

help us keep our energy levels high,

44:15

keep ourselves sort of working at that , that high

44:17

level and encourage that home .

44:20

Yeah. Setting intentions is actually

44:22

one of my daily practices that I do.

44:24

So one of the main things I do is I meditate.

44:27

I journal and I set my intentions. And if

44:29

people follow me on Instagram, I wake every day . I'm like,

44:31

did you journal? Did you meditate? Did you set

44:33

your intentions? That's my thing. Because

44:36

I believe when we set the intentions, we're

44:38

actually creating our focus

44:41

force , like our energetic focus force. And

44:43

when we have that trajectory

44:45

of where we need to go in front of us. So for

44:47

example, if the day is like today, my intentions

44:49

are just to be happy. Or today my intentions

44:52

are to be friendly to two strangers.

44:54

That's your focus for the day? Part

44:56

of what we do in our life is we make it

44:58

so hard for us to feel good and

45:00

so easy for us to feel miserable. What

45:03

do I mean by that? I mean like when it comes

45:05

to what can you off the question,

45:07

people about this, this, this, this , this, this, this, but

45:09

then when you tell them what can actually make

45:11

you happy today? They're like, oh , I didn't

45:13

think about it. So we make it so easy

45:15

for our day that anything can us off.

45:18

What is so hard for us to get happy. We got

45:20

to switch this around. We have to make it so

45:22

easy for us to be happy.

45:24

It's so hard for us to get mad. And

45:27

that's when we do this, that this little

45:29

reconnection of our life, we actually

45:32

change everything around us. So things

45:34

like being grateful for the little things, being

45:37

aware of smiling to strangers

45:39

or talking to strangers, that's one of my favorite

45:41

things to do. And I see somebody I'm like, hello,

45:44

how are you doing? Hey, how you doing? People

45:46

are like, oh, no one said hi to me this morning,

45:48

going and grabbing your coffee from the barista

45:50

and just asking her, how are you really

45:52

doing today? You know, just these little

45:55

things that will actually

45:57

add the momentum. Like we're just a ball,

45:59

like, you know, a snowball of that, right? We're just

46:01

a snowball on the top of the mountain when they start

46:04

we're right there, we can go

46:06

downhill, you know, and accumulate

46:08

negative thoughts and negative feelings

46:10

and negative vibrations throughout the day.

46:12

And Madden and anxiety and worry

46:15

and all these negative stuff. Or

46:17

we can go downhill and accumulate all

46:19

the good stuff like gratitude and

46:21

happiness and joy and friendliness

46:23

and laughter and all the good stuff. It's

46:25

a choice, but it's a choice you have to

46:27

make every single day. What is your

46:30

intention for the day? And we just

46:32

start every day by just filling

46:34

out that intention. Like, do you know what today I'm going to just

46:36

be happy or I'm going to look at the good and things,

46:39

or I'm going to have fun or whatever it

46:41

is. As simple as that, the trajectory

46:43

is beautiful

46:45

Greenville. I'm one of those people that smiling

46:47

and waving at strangers and chatting

46:49

to everybody. Yeah, it's

46:52

this ,

46:53

It's a good time. You know, Kelly

46:55

, this life can be hell or it can be heaven

46:57

. It's your choice. You can make

46:59

it a help for yourself, or you can make it a habit for

47:01

yourself. It's really up to you.

47:03

Yeah. I couldn't agree more if you could

47:05

kind of genuine from the world's leaders, who

47:07

would be your ideal coaching clients.

47:09

So if I would coach anybody,

47:12

it has to be somebody coachable. I

47:14

really don't care who it can be. It can

47:16

be anybody in the world, but it

47:18

has to be somebody coachable because

47:21

if you're not coachable, if you're not

47:23

open for feedback, if you're not open

47:25

and receptive and surrender to knowing

47:28

that, you know what I want to change

47:30

and I deserve to change, and I'm here to change.

47:33

If you have resistant, then it should not your

47:35

time. So I, I , for me, it's like, that's

47:37

a waste of time for both of us. But if

47:39

somebody was very coachable, takes feedback

47:42

is open, receptive. Surrenders

47:44

allows the process to go as it is

47:46

for me. That's my ideal person, ideal

47:48

person, period, and ideal client

47:51

even. Yes. Hell yeah. Even better. So for

47:53

me, like when people talk to me about celebrities and

47:55

stuff, I already coach a lot of them. So

47:57

for me, it's like, they just have to

47:59

be coachable.

48:02

Yeah . The mindset, right. It's not about the person.

48:06

And now I suspect you've got a great answer to this question.

48:08

Cause I was like to ask people about books that they've read

48:10

that have sort of changed their lives. So that meant something to

48:12

them. I mean, I'm wondering if Tony is going to be in there

48:14

So interesting.

48:16

This is a good question because I read an average

48:18

of three books a week. I'm

48:20

constantly reading. So do

48:22

I have books that have changed my life? Of

48:25

course, I'm going to go early in my journey.

48:27

I'm going to give you three books. Can I give three books? I'm

48:30

going to divide them in terms

48:32

of journey. In the beginning

48:34

of the journey of book that changed my

48:36

mind was Vishaan. Like honey's the

48:39

extraordinary mind. And it was one

48:41

of the first books that when I was depressed,

48:44

I read and I was like, oh,

48:46

I like that. Okay. That was like, it

48:49

did change a lot of things

48:51

for me. And let me think

48:53

in different ways, that was a good book midway

48:56

through my healing journey.

48:59

There was a book by, I need them or Johnny

49:02

dying to be meet . Yeah . This

49:04

book gave me peace. I

49:07

found my inner peace in this book because

49:10

she talked about her near death experience

49:12

and what happens after death. And

49:15

just so much of it resonated with me

49:17

and gave me peace . It's a beautiful book.

49:19

It's one of my all ultimate

49:22

favorite books is

49:25

conversations with God by Donald

49:27

. Yes. Have you read that? It's

49:32

an amazing book. It's an amazing

49:34

book. And you book that

49:36

I've now kind of put on a pedestal,

49:39

is it, why did it happen to me? It's very new.

49:41

It's Oprah and

49:43

it's Oprah's new book.

49:45

What happens to you?

49:47

What to happen to you? Yeah. I just read

49:49

this book three months ago and I love

49:51

it. And I think a lot of the work I do

49:53

is in that book. So

49:56

their , their research, whatever we're focusing

49:58

on your childhood, that's for me, what I

50:00

do. So when I read the book, I was

50:02

like, ah, yes, I love the way

50:04

they explained some of this things. I'm going to be

50:06

inspired by some of this and kind

50:08

of, yes, this is exactly it. So if somebody

50:11

really wants to know about the importance

50:13

of childhood, there's a lot of what the

50:15

work I do is, is focusing on the subconscious

50:17

mind and the imprinting age. They touched

50:19

upon it. So yeah, these let's say the

50:21

four books that currently on

50:23

my top four,

50:25

I'm currently listening to will

50:28

by will Smith. It's his biography.

50:30

And I really love it .

50:34

Tell me , is it good ?

50:36

It's 18 chapters. I started yesterday

50:39

evening. I'm already in chapter

50:41

10 right now. It's 80 chapters. It's

50:44

just, I also got the audible

50:46

. So I'm listening and reading at the same time.

50:49

He's amazing on audible. Like I'm

50:51

laughing out loud. He's punchy

50:53

. He's talking about trauma. So it's a really deep

50:56

book. So he's not a book about his just

50:58

biography. And you think it's like fresh prince

51:00

of Bel-Air and everything's cool . He's talking about

51:02

his childhood abuse. He's talking

51:04

about discipline. His talking about

51:06

disappointing. His family disappointing, love

51:09

how he learned the conditioning of love.

51:11

So it's deep book, actually. It's

51:13

not what people think it is. It's not what people

51:15

think. And I think that's what attracted me to it

51:18

because I saw him talk about it on

51:20

a TV show and he said, it's

51:22

not what you expect. And I was like, Hmm . And

51:24

then I read a snippet and I was like, all

51:26

right , I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt. I'm going

51:28

to read it. I got it. I started

51:30

yesterday. I can put it down.

51:32

Wow. I can't wait to get it. And I imagine if he's

51:34

reading it on audible as well, it just was ,

51:36

He is hilarious and liable . Cause you don't

51:38

need that. He changes his word . Like he,

51:40

it's not like he's reading a book. He's like , he's

51:42

like talking to you. And he's like changes his

51:45

vocal ranges, things on it

51:47

as well. And yeah, it's cool.

51:50

I love to Matthew McConaughey wrote a book last

51:52

year or the year before called green lights. All

51:54

of his , his life were similar. It goes into quite a lot of

51:56

deep stuff about his family and his upbringing.

51:59

I think we'll see this pretty well. Yeah

52:01

.

52:01

Oh , very much. So. Very much so. Yeah.

52:04

Hearing Matthew McConaughey his voice, obviously with that

52:06

gorgeous, gorgeous voice. I

52:08

remember exactly where I was in the house

52:11

and the car for each chapter. Like if I was to pick it up now,

52:13

I'd be like, oh yeah, I'm stirred that . I just, it , it prints on

52:15

you in a different way on this

52:16

Really good

52:18

Little Smith book on my list of next

52:21

books to pick up. Brilliant. And finally,

52:23

I just wanted to ask you your perspective on what

52:25

do you think our purposes here on earth?

52:28

Why are we here?

52:29

Our purpose on earth is just to be

52:31

happy. Full stop is to

52:33

find our own happiness. We don't actually have a

52:35

purpose. That's my perspective. We don't have a

52:37

thing that we have to do or serve

52:40

or say , or we don't have to do

52:42

that. But what we're here to do is

52:44

find our happiness and

52:46

that will fees . That's why they call it the pursuit

52:49

of happiness. But because actually

52:51

happiness is the inside job. And when we get

52:53

to that place, then you answer the question,

52:56

then you're ready to fulfill any other thing

52:58

you want to do in life. We can have multiple

53:00

purposes in life, but they're not why you're here.

53:02

You're here to remember that

53:05

you are loved and that

53:07

you are happiness, full stop

53:09

.

53:10

Gosh, what a gorgeous way to end our conversation.

53:12

I actually love that. Thank you so much, Heather . That

53:14

was an amazing, amazing.

53:16

Thank you. Thank you.

53:19

Thanks so much for listening to the good intentions podcast.

53:23

You can find links to issues and to books that were

53:25

Discussed in the show notes. And you can look

53:27

for the podcast on Instagram. It's good

53:29

intentions, UAE. Please

53:31

do make sure you subscribe to the podcast. And if

53:33

you enjoyed this conversation, I so appreciate a

53:35

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53:38

helps more people find out about the podcast. See

53:40

you next time.