0:09

This is Frank Skinner on

0:11

Absolute Radio with

0:13

Emily Dean and Pia Novelli. You can

0:15

text the show on 812 15, follow

0:17

us on x and Instagram at frank

0:19

on the radio, email via frank at

0:21

absolute radio.co dot uk. Morning

0:24

boys. Good morning. Very good.

0:27

What was it called? Super bra. What

0:30

was that? Wonder bra. Wonder

0:32

bra. Super bra was the superhero

0:34

character. Super, yeah, that'd be like

0:36

from the hood. Yeah, super bra.

0:41

They didn't have those though, but

0:44

now things have improved.

0:48

Here's the thing, you know, it's been a

0:50

strange time for us all. We've been dismissed

0:53

and all that from the radio station.

0:56

I like the military sign, dismissed. But

1:00

spring is in the air. You know

1:02

what I mean? It makes you

1:04

think about new beginnings and that

1:06

about green shoots and what raised

1:09

me up higher than anything this

1:11

week. It's series three of Is

1:13

It Cake? It's

1:16

back, thank goodness. Suddenly

1:19

life seems pretty good. I

1:22

noticed they got recommissioned. Yeah, they did.

1:25

Undeservedly so. If they'd asked me to choose between

1:27

us and them, I might have chose them. Always

1:31

go Is It Cake? So what happens in,

1:33

I mean, series three, it's the same premise.

1:35

No big changes, I assume. Oh,

1:37

there's one or two slight

1:39

modifications. But there was a

1:41

woman this week, she made

1:44

carrot sprouts out

1:47

of cake. They really look like

1:49

carrots and sprouts, but they tasted

1:51

like cake. And I remember thinking,

1:53

why didn't God think of that?

1:56

People would really, there would

1:58

be no kids saying, I don't know what my... sprouts

2:01

if it was cake.

2:03

I always said bring it

2:05

to England and say wouldn't it be interesting

2:07

if we had a really old bloke presenting

2:10

it because they like cake and then a

2:12

nice step. I don't know if

2:14

it's going to happen but I'd

2:16

recommend it. It's on Netflix and

2:20

it's about making things out of cake

2:22

so well that you can't tell their

2:24

cake. That's the premise. Are there sort

2:26

of guesses on the show or

2:28

are they guessing entirely in the mind of the viewer?

2:31

They have guests. You aren't

2:34

allowed too close to the cake

2:36

obviously but give people a chance.

2:39

There might be let's say this

2:42

week for example there

2:44

was a big water pistol and

2:47

there's three big water pistols or

2:50

four big water pistols and

2:53

one of them is a cake and

2:56

you have to get to which one it is. That's

2:58

how it works. It's just like a

3:00

kid's version of the movie Saw. But there's a

3:02

lot of I've never seen Saw. You mustn't. It's

3:05

S-O-R-E. You will be after watching

3:10

it. Oh no I'm horrible. That's the pension

3:12

version. Saw. Why saw? One of the original

3:16

now. You have to bump your knee.

3:18

There's a lot of knives though in

3:21

this cake. I mean math is knives

3:23

and I don't know if that'll be

3:25

allowed over here. I don't think it

3:28

would work with British people guessing because

3:30

we're so pessimistic compared to the Americans that

3:32

say is this cake and say no. Every

3:35

time. No. Oh

3:37

I think everyone used

3:40

to joke about the

3:42

Americans being

3:44

stupid but I think we've caught them

3:46

down as it were

3:49

as opposed to catching them up. No we've

3:51

joined them haven't we? Yeah I think we're

3:53

all in cover now. Not

3:55

well. I think there's a certain

3:57

warm glow to stupid. Put

4:01

your anybody around one. Yeah,

4:03

I am. I said

4:06

I did of fab saying last

4:08

Saturday as to the shower I

4:10

walked into town with Emily Dame

4:13

for stones have none my giant

4:15

is to had my diet is

4:17

do with me so. Easy

4:20

laugh and in case you done

4:22

now and my partner and we

4:25

headed for a place that my

4:27

son of wanted to go ever

4:29

since it opened and I'll I'll

4:31

I'll explain this see you are

4:34

asked to these. This

4:40

is still Frank Skinner. Yeah, so we

4:42

went to the Gibson Data Rates. And

4:45

the Gibson Gary is a a

4:48

massive for guitar shop at of

4:50

interest or than of seven or

4:52

eight weeks ago someone another many

4:54

Gibson Guitar Center I was obe

4:57

son and my child plays guitar

4:59

with some server. Be. A

5:01

And so I took the main and man

5:03

to use. The Same:

5:05

the phrase is a nice elements in

5:08

Bios Into those lights are a bill

5:10

for racing see an electric kettles? He

5:13

was in the last verse is

5:15

t only apply to Cutler guitars

5:17

Obviously very helpful guys and you

5:20

and goes there is a Geico.

5:22

Sam is one of the most

5:24

helpful shop assistants I never went

5:26

with is probably consummate grand than

5:28

that bomb an old man commander.

5:31

Anyway each side of Flying Z

5:33

is been a hankering for a

5:35

sign say Somalia with these cutoff

5:37

know and s it's recites anti.

5:40

Spam and it looks

5:42

Flight dynamics in that

5:44

respect. And that truly

5:46

why shapes. To. them

5:48

miss miss marketing these austin's it

5:50

is awesome interest sign was lying

5:53

why is it is it flight

5:55

now philosophical fear was a blip

5:57

the body of a is of

6:00

Yes. The painted bit. Is

6:02

it the sort of guitar that Slash would have?

6:05

Um, I... You...

6:08

Yeah. Your son can probably help with that. But not

6:11

maybe all the time. I think he... I'm trying to

6:13

remember if he played one when I saw him live.

6:15

What surprised me is they first came out in 1958,

6:17

the Flying V. I

6:20

thought they were a real, like, 70s thing. Although

6:22

I think Hendrix played one. They're quite

6:25

glam. They have a glam vibe to

6:27

them. But I was Albert King, who

6:29

was a blues guitarist.

6:32

And I don't know about you. I hate the

6:34

blues. Oh,

6:39

no. No. I

6:42

tried jazz. Every day they're gonna have a go at

6:44

jazz. And I was having a shower and I thought,

6:46

I'll put some jazz on. You never know. I might

6:49

get into it. And I

6:51

was in the shower. So you kind of... I'm not

6:53

gonna get out of the shower. And

6:55

the phone, you know, sometimes you're on Apple

6:57

Music. It just cuts out. And

7:00

it cut out. And I said out

7:03

loud, thank you, old friend, to my

7:05

phone across the bathroom. Because

7:10

you were... Because I was hating

7:12

it. But I thought I'm not getting out.

7:14

The phone... He's not liking this. Trapped in

7:16

a sort of wet cube of jazz. I

7:19

know what you mean about jazz. Just makes me

7:21

think of mean men in the 70s. I

7:25

just don't like it, Mary-Mart. Yeah. Well,

7:28

you know, we all like different stuff. And

7:30

that's one of the marvelous things about music.

7:32

If you're a massive jazz fan, surely you'll

7:34

be listening to Jazz FM, if that was

7:37

the case. Exactly. Anyway, Albert

7:39

King had a flying V called

7:41

Lucy. And

7:44

there used to be a bit

7:46

of a tradition of people, especially

7:48

blues men, calling their guitars by

7:50

lady names. I don't like that,

7:52

Frank. No? Remember

7:54

when you said it with cars? It's a bit

7:56

of a cruel mistress. Did You have a car...

7:58

a name for a car? Refer a

8:00

know I did so you know day

8:03

I know they said it says he

8:05

was from ships isn't in the synthesis

8:07

email it as se at Panda Bill

8:09

and as safe as a big go

8:11

not mastered thing i'm a lady on

8:14

the front. It all kind of makes

8:16

sense that apart from there. Surely.

8:18

If I go to Gibson Carriage I could get

8:21

a guitar with a. A. Mermaid

8:23

on the Prowl is a good song

8:25

says on one must as much higher

8:27

seemed record purple uma enough to make

8:29

a customized as he can just buy

8:31

those. Memories them Up

8:33

thing on the show on ever happened

8:35

So us eleventh and for a long

8:37

time or have happened to this say

8:39

we're aware of what's your of those

8:42

browsing an interior designer dawn. Dot

8:45

on the way easier.

8:47

What happened is an.

8:50

Office.

8:54

So that

8:56

maneuvering? sas.

8:58

Is just as fast as easy

9:00

as I'm sorry but I guys

9:02

I'm yeah what was I talking

9:04

about? Oh yeah one in Laughlin

9:06

to the eyelashes online these cars

9:08

haven't seen that variety from from

9:10

their hands on my headlamps. I

9:12

remember I remember thinking us on

9:15

the mode so I once and

9:17

I can say memory of the

9:19

American I saw the way I

9:21

would have designed the is why

9:23

bother as in indicators that the

9:25

headlights to do when assistance you

9:27

are literally. Their lungs going on

9:29

that the yes as is anyone

9:31

listening as got. As

9:34

got the old eyelashes on the handle I'd set

9:36

of to hear from the. Screen

9:44

or nice has gotten tots could find

9:46

mentioned some of the other shop assistants.

9:48

He's worked with telling and what.

9:50

I don't always remember their names

9:52

but this them very helpful. i

9:56

do i'm oh yeah so

9:58

hear about both dinosaurs I tell

10:00

you what, I didn't realise if you play

10:02

one sitting down, never seen anyone play one

10:05

sitting down before, it sits on the thigh

10:07

like a clothes peg. It's kind

10:09

of perfect. Yeah. Very

10:11

good. I tell you what,

10:13

it made me think as well and Pierre will

10:16

back me up on this. Oh, as you know,

10:18

I've got a terrible sense of direction. I mean,

10:20

to the point of a psychologist

10:23

who I met said

10:25

you almost certainly didn't crawl when you're

10:27

a baby because that's when you develop

10:29

your sense of direction. I

10:33

crawled quite a lot in the 80s, but it

10:35

was too late then. So

10:39

now that's what you tell me. So

10:41

on the stage, there's this pink tape

10:44

all over the place, which

10:46

is with arrows pointing

10:50

where I go off stage and where I

10:52

go on stage. Does everybody have that? No.

10:56

No. No. Dear

10:58

Frank. We have special, Omar has

11:01

a special role of pink tape that we take

11:03

to every venue to ensure the arrows can be

11:05

manifested. Hang on. Can I just establish, you

11:08

literally forget how to get off

11:10

stage. Yes. I

11:13

once went off stage. I

11:15

suppose. 50-50. Surely.

11:19

It's 50-50. But there

11:21

are many curtains with many little gaps and

11:24

sometimes you're behind a speaker. I once walked

11:26

off stage and I should have gone off

11:28

stage right, no, went off stage left. And

11:30

I pulled the curtain aside and there was

11:33

just a wall. And

11:36

the time 1500 people in the theatre and

11:38

I couldn't come back out. I just stood

11:41

facing the Cold War. Just a

11:43

fright lump in the curtain. Like

11:45

a dump. Until, well, they did.

11:49

Yes, exactly. And waited until they

11:51

all went. I just stood there.

11:54

I remember the sort of wall cold

11:56

against my cheek. Like

11:59

a character in a... video game that's done

12:01

their bit. But I was thinking that if

12:03

I ended with the song in which I

12:05

played a flying V, you

12:08

know you can get reverse flying V

12:10

as well. So the V's pointing in

12:12

the other direction. And Omar

12:14

could hand me the guitar which points

12:16

me off stage in the right direction.

12:18

Depending on the night. Yeah,

12:21

exactly. That'd be great.

12:24

I've never seen anyone use a flying

12:26

V for visual abuse. I've

12:29

never seen them do a V sign to

12:31

the audience. And like holding it up like

12:33

a sort of... Yeah, never seen

12:35

that. Never seen one used as

12:37

a rod rest whilst

12:39

angling. Regarding

12:44

my idea for a guitar with a sort

12:46

of mermaid on the prow. Oh yeah. Matt Davies

12:48

says, the idea of a pirate guitar really struck

12:51

a chord with me. It would be great

12:53

to play... Was that a part by him? Well,

12:55

it would be great to play the high C's

12:57

with. Oh, very,

12:59

very nice. Yeah.

13:02

Oh, I'm gonna fret

13:04

about that joke. And

13:08

have you seen Martin Gardner's

13:10

correspondence, Pierre Novelli? No, where's

13:12

that? He says, I knew it. This

13:14

is regarding the stage. I

13:16

posted this to Pierre last night. Exit

13:19

stage left slash right. He's taken

13:21

an overhead photo of the stage.

13:23

From when you go through the arrow. Yeah,

13:25

you can. And

13:27

I'm gonna describe it as a little bit

13:30

humiliating. Well, Martin sent that to me and

13:32

I thought, I don't know if I'm allowed

13:34

to reveal the secrets of

13:36

the trade. I find that

13:38

the humiliation is my spiritual

13:40

food. That's

13:44

a great back tattoo, you can

13:46

get massive gossip left. It's

13:48

a really worrying about humiliation. I'm

13:50

wallowing it. You know what? I

13:53

love that, Frank. I think that deserves to

13:55

go on Instagram as an inspirational cop. Here, people,

13:57

let it stop them from doing all sorts of

13:59

stuff. sorts of things. Someone with

14:01

a cheek microphone and perfect teeth could

14:04

yell that in America at a crowd.

14:06

A cheek microphone or as the kids

14:08

call it, a microphone. Or as

14:11

I call it, a Madonna

14:13

microphone. So I think Kate

14:15

Bush preceded. Well the

14:17

next gen will call it the Britney. They'll

14:20

know. They'll remember Britney. That

14:29

is a weird coincidence by the way that

14:32

I was talking about those pink arrows and

14:34

someone has sent in a

14:36

photograph of the arrow. And from above.

14:38

I would say in mitigation that once

14:41

on this tour I have walked off

14:44

and on the right hand side of the stage say

14:46

there will be several potential

14:48

exit holes. Multiple curtains.

14:50

And I went to the middle one instead of

14:52

the far left

14:54

one. I walked into the

14:56

desk where Omar was sitting. Sort of standing

14:59

looming over his desk. A bit helpful. That's

15:01

why I think. So

15:03

it can happen to anyone. Quite small your

15:05

arrows. Yeah well

15:07

I'm quite close to them. About five foot ten

15:10

away. Is there a

15:12

bit bigger for Pierre? Yeah. He's

15:14

higher up. Omar

15:16

does bigger ones and then in the interval

15:19

he comes and removes some of the excess

15:21

tape. They're always to scale. I

15:23

was in the Oxfam

15:26

Bookshop this week.

15:28

I'm a big fan of the

15:30

Oxfam Bookshop. When we go on

15:32

tour I look them up

15:34

in the town we're in to check

15:36

them out. There's always about four. Yeah

15:39

well not always. But on a good day.

15:41

But if you you know it's that

15:44

thing about you're buying books but also

15:46

you're helping. So I was

15:49

in my local on

15:51

the other day and I bought some.

15:53

Normally when people say I was down

15:56

the local. Yeah. I don't say I'm

15:58

down. the

16:00

local. I was down the

16:02

local watching fat men drink

16:04

enormous glasses of beer, though

16:06

I wasn't. What

16:08

is a big, what is a big, big,

16:10

big, big, big? I don't know, they drink

16:13

carries a little. How can they drink a

16:15

pint? He's a lot of big, please. I'm

16:17

surprised in the modern world they're not on

16:19

wheels, those pint glasses, now that people can't

16:21

carry a small attaché case without putting it

16:24

on a trolley. Never the less.

16:27

So I was buying an, it's called

16:29

an Oxford guide to Chaucer.

16:32

I was buying, and the

16:34

one beyond the counter said,

16:36

£3. Well that's a bargain, isn't it?

16:38

You were a bit lucky with that, she

16:41

said. She said it,

16:43

I'd have thought it was more

16:46

than that. And I thought, I

16:50

didn't put the sticker on, you know what I mean?

16:52

I'm not the villain here. No. By

16:57

the way, you're robbing Africa. You do know

17:00

that. Oh, I just have to call Africa.

17:02

Yeah. Let them know not to expect as

17:04

much this month. Yeah, exactly. I mean, I

17:06

want one of. And you being a

17:08

millionaire as well. No, but what would

17:11

I be doing? Two stuff. Because a greedy

17:13

boy called Frank, you know,

17:15

wanted the Oxford. And

17:17

bought the Oxford guide

17:19

to Chaucer. Also,

17:22

it's the idea that you're buying something

17:24

horribly extravagant and decadent.

17:26

Three quid. Oh, for

17:29

10 bottles of vodka. Three pounds? And I

17:31

don't know how she said, £3. How dare

17:34

you? I mean, what is the

17:37

going rate for Chaucer? £8.12.50. It's

17:42

not that much. For a

17:44

waiter in the restaurant, just sort of going, who

17:46

dessert is it? Well, I

17:48

don't know. I go in there, right?

17:50

They've got a Chaucer in there, a

17:54

Trilosome Crest by Chaucer. It's £35.

17:57

Completely random. It will be there.

18:00

forever. It'll be like, you know

18:02

when you read about poor lonely

18:04

people who've been found conjoined to

18:07

their mattress, it'll be like

18:09

that though. Occasionally,

18:13

there are three quid and a quid,

18:15

there's ten quid for no apparent reason

18:17

at all. And

18:19

I avoid those, yes I do. But

18:23

honestly, I've never been made

18:25

to think of such a heel for

18:30

the Oxford guy to try. Frank

18:34

Skinner. Absolute radiation.

18:40

I was about to be picked up by Omar

18:42

and PA yesterday to go

18:45

off to Brighton. And this

18:47

is our life on the

18:49

road. Very good.

18:52

Al Jaffen play. It's quite a diverse

18:54

mob bus. So there's

18:56

two foreigners looming as we kind of

18:58

escort you to the car. Do

19:01

they bundle you into the van? Anyway,

19:04

I've told you about the fish man, Al Jaffen,

19:06

who delivers fish to our house. Have I told

19:08

you about him? No. Who

19:10

whenever he rings the bell says, I've

19:13

got some nice fish for you. It's like

19:15

you live in Balamori. It's a very threatening

19:17

sounding thing. Oh

19:20

no, it's lovely. And the fish is

19:22

great until this week

19:24

I tried a thing called Icelandic

19:28

hot smoked cod roe. Okay. Now

19:31

I used to have cod roe, I used

19:33

to get it in like a supermarket sort

19:36

of squishy pale thing.

19:38

I have it on toast, very

19:40

nice. So it's different to caviar,

19:42

cod roe? Yeah, caviar is

19:44

black and very big eggs. What colour

19:47

is cod roe? Orange? It's

19:50

what colour? I'd say it's a very pale,

19:54

greyy pink. Oh

19:56

dear. But this one was not like

19:58

that. This one. I

20:02

couldn't believe it. It said on

20:04

it, good for making tarramoo salata. I thought you're trying

20:06

to put me off eating this aren't you? Yes it

20:08

is. And it says you

20:11

can have it sliced very thinly.

20:13

They might have said do not

20:16

eat on the packaging. Anyway

20:19

I started eating it for my lunch.

20:22

Oh my god. It was

20:25

the saltiest fishiest thing I've

20:27

ever... I can't tell

20:29

you. And afterwards

20:31

I thought that my body was

20:33

rejecting it. Not like I was gonna

20:35

be sick like I was gonna... You

20:38

know that film Poms? Have

20:41

you ever been there? I felt

20:43

like I was gonna open up into... Oh

20:46

my goodness. I took a picture of it. How much

20:48

of this row did you eat? I

20:53

ate way too much of it. Where you go?

20:55

It's not a rose form. I said this was

20:57

a roll for eight. And

20:59

I just ate it.

21:02

But I couldn't believe it. Oh

21:05

you ate too much and you felt sick. No I thought

21:08

I'd have ate a tiny slice. I

21:10

would have still been talking about it

21:13

now. Did you have it on toast?

21:15

How did you prepare it? No I

21:17

microwaved some rice for two minutes. It's

21:20

a horrible meal. It's the worst meal I've

21:22

ever had in my life. Honestly.

21:25

I thought you seemed distracted when you opened

21:27

the door. No. I'm very divided. I'd

21:30

forgotten there were other people in the

21:32

world when I was eating this meal.

21:35

I wrote it with the road

21:37

by Cormac McCarthy. I was eating

21:39

my own flesh. Can we hear

21:41

more? Poor old Joe Biden's granddad

21:43

who turns out before he was

21:46

eaten by cannibals. I know it's

21:48

all fun. I mean keep that

21:50

to yourself Joe. That's one for

21:52

the family parties this big. I'm

21:57

keen to know more about the worst meal you've ever

21:59

had. White or brown?

22:01

White rice. And it's microwavable. You put it

22:03

in for two minutes in the packet and

22:05

it comes out. It comes out in like

22:08

one lump. Packet

22:10

rice. Lomp of rice. And then I

22:12

don't know what this thing was. It

22:15

said hot, but you eat it cold.

22:17

I didn't understand that. Any butter,

22:20

any seasoning? No. Pepper? No. A

22:22

bit of parsley. It didn't need seasoning.

22:24

No. It was salt. It was post

22:26

salt. Imagine

22:29

that salt was renamed

22:31

salt light. Yeah. Yeah.

22:33

This would be what salt was called.

22:35

This is the Ribena. You've done the

22:38

cod row equivalent of drinking neat Ribena.

22:40

Yes. You were supposed to dilute it.

22:42

Listen, what are you going to say to

22:44

the fish man now? I'm going to say no more cod

22:46

row. Thank you. And then Sheldon,

22:48

go on and say. I don't know why this

22:50

week he didn't say I've got some nasty fish

22:52

for you. But

22:55

the rest of it, I mean, it's great. The fish

22:57

generally is great. But oh man, I can't even I

22:59

want to show you a picture. I put it on.

23:01

It's a tear just to look at it. It

23:03

looks like it. Oh,

23:07

anyway, I can't tell what it looks like. I'll tell you when

23:09

we're off there. Put

23:11

it this way. Didn't look like it was on the way in.

23:16

This is Frank Skinner. This

23:18

is absolute radio. This

23:23

is Frank Skinner on absolute radio with

23:25

Emily Dean and Pierre Novelli. You

23:27

can text this show on 812 15. Follow

23:30

us on X and Instagram at

23:32

Frank on the radio email via

23:34

Frank at absolute radio.co.uk. I've

23:37

just noticed we're in the lantern. I

23:39

mean, I haven't just noticed that we're in

23:42

the lantern and then all this posh new equipment

23:44

here and I've noticed something like

23:46

there's a lot of panels and buttons for

23:48

us to push. Yes, and I've just

23:50

noticed guest control. There's a big pink button and

23:52

it says guest control. Now, if

23:55

we had that we might have continued having the

23:57

guests on every time they said something that

23:59

wasn't. I don't think to fight as

24:01

is not to have known it's read that says.

24:05

Disease will be crazy Good press guess control

24:07

and there was a funniness like the volume

24:09

me to and saw some. Friends

24:12

that are interesting this or that I

24:14

were allowed both. I gave them few

24:16

options and some would take. neither of

24:19

us have been added to on. I

24:21

had a Gov. With

24:24

they are declined to choose. Let

24:26

me see. insistence on a nowadays

24:28

fancy that I was. A dead

24:30

sounds. Fun

24:32

Clause in Sheffield has been

24:34

into our it's as seal

24:37

them on Sunday night Monday

24:39

night sights. Some, and perhaps

24:41

the Oxfam assistant who described the

24:43

three pound bargain of the Oxford

24:45

God to Tulsa had been reading

24:48

the Not Since to hold. On

24:51

Earth goods Love fillet up minutes

24:53

and then the volunteers in our

24:55

God bless them in there is

24:57

a Dunce Yachts me. Subsists

24:59

a was is is quite wrists is meant

25:01

to do we not him to to say

25:03

yes if only there was someone. In.

25:06

The shop responsible for what things cost of eden

25:08

or would you draw the three pounds to cry

25:10

on your cell. I told them on a suggestion

25:13

that I built my own sticker. ah and that

25:15

or that you transfer to three pounds die or

25:17

of the i have had a pig and solid

25:19

Just the as I do think that while you're

25:21

such as specimens I think it was a slice

25:24

tests in that. Wow. He.

25:26

Should be giving often seem a bit

25:28

more yeah I think know it's Embassy

25:30

I'd has been made. our decision should

25:32

be taking advantage is A that was

25:34

I was the message for those you

25:36

found A when you found the off

25:38

the going to choice of a three

25:40

pounds he should have immediately guns excuse

25:42

me I sleep with him aside please

25:44

sufficient of waving forensically a melody call

25:47

the police assistance of from and or

25:49

up mean I said I could have

25:51

easily gonna with soy listen coincidence or

25:53

sisters and him aside this has seen

25:55

five society and. our

25:57

he talks about had signed

26:00

If it was signed, I'd have bought it. Now

26:02

that's a Netflix show I'd watch. Is

26:04

it signed? Is

26:06

it signed? Frank, you showed me

26:08

a picture of your cod throw earlier. Oh,

26:12

good God. Are

26:18

you reading my text? Yes. Would

26:22

you like to... I

26:24

mean, what was my reaction? I don't think

26:26

I've ever had such a strong reaction to

26:28

any image in my life. No. I

26:32

don't know if anyone listening remembers the movie Signs, but there's a

26:34

bit where one of the characters sees an alien flash up on

26:36

the screen of a CCTV and he

26:38

recoils with such horror, he propels himself into

26:40

his own sort of wardrobe. Oh, no. And

26:44

that was the level of horror that Em used to play. I'm

26:46

still getting intrusive thoughts about it. It made me kill. That

26:50

would have been a much better start to The

26:52

Lion, The Witch and the Water. We've seen it,

26:54

Lewis had come up with that. Someone just lurching

26:56

back. Exactly. Although

27:00

they were all right with Timness.

27:02

Was it called Tomness, Mr Tomness? Mr

27:04

Tomness. If you can cope with

27:06

that, you can cope with an alien on CCTV. Oh, Mr Tomness. But

27:10

whether you could cope with the cod

27:12

grab... Very large hips, Mr Tomness. Huge

27:14

hips. Yeah, I don't

27:16

know if we can say that anymore. Why? It

27:20

was all a bit menage with Mr Tomness. Frank

27:22

Skinner on TV. Frank

27:24

Skinner on Absolute Radio.

27:30

Frank, the people have spoken.

27:34

Oh, yeah. A bit early. They

27:36

are demanding to see your

27:39

cod throw. Yeah. Well,

27:42

it should be... It's

27:44

Jordan. We need to see the picture of the cod throw. This is a Tipton

27:46

Slashers' Monkey all over again. Show us

27:48

both pictures, Frank. I've given it to Jenny

27:50

for... to put on. But she's gone out

27:53

for coffee. Don't bring foot into it. Don't

27:56

bring foot into it. What's

27:58

the worst they can do? Two. Men

28:05

we have says Armstrong would just like to

28:07

make you aware that there is a horse

28:09

running at three thirty five pm today named

28:12

Get Maker. Oh, but.

28:14

Why just saw that one too? Far

28:16

from his back for a long car. Know

28:19

maybe I'll stop. There is an

28:21

honor stops us to the moon

28:23

Pm Saturday mornings I'll get to Circuit

28:26

leader. Look. At them pricing

28:28

titles that's a lovely Healthy Lawyers

28:30

exactly Madonna the back every weekday

28:33

and have to do with X

28:35

I release and he would have

28:38

thought ten size funny though. Bulls

28:40

and tags Size Twenty Samples Splendor

28:42

One see one Source A includes

28:45

A was like the biggest thing

28:47

that happens if this. Events

28:51

I. We have some

28:53

other updates and graeme Pubs

28:55

regarding rise the little gray

28:57

brown pieces of road that.

28:59

Frank. Lot to fry need on

29:02

toast. a herring rise. Oh alright.

29:04

Is sometimes found on fish and chips

29:06

menus. You say it's I know but

29:08

I lost art car drone for stigma

29:10

I realized how know soon like this

29:13

is Gwen Tubs isn't quite done sorry

29:15

Toby Identical nine times out our to

29:17

sit at This is loose on far

29:19

as long as I said I recall

29:21

affects all birds and so. Ah,

29:25

Quadro is sometimes found on fish

29:27

and chips menus and as he

29:29

now knows. Is. quite different

29:31

your witness just but i love

29:33

the kudrow and for since it

29:35

menus are beneath not my whole

29:37

life when he comes in right

29:39

com big guy like a modular

29:41

very large pound coins me i

29:43

said it's not kind of diamonds

29:45

and but this didn't go to

29:47

do is lie down and the

29:49

icelanders has been salting and smoking

29:52

it down into a country has

29:54

decided that i i love that

29:56

that would be my says on

29:58

tuesday before i like inner You

30:00

ate a tube of salt. A big

30:02

lovely bowl of salt on it. I just couldn't... Whatever

30:05

that thing is, you can't leave.

30:07

If Erling Harland had been there,

30:09

he might have liked it. It

30:11

looked like something he might eat.

30:15

Andy Wood has sent in a sort

30:17

of a Trocieran poem for

30:19

us. Yeah. About your experience in

30:22

the Oxfam Bookshop. Oh, wow. The

30:24

old comedic fellow entered Oxfam for

30:27

a look. He robbed

30:29

Yon-Por African with an under-priced

30:31

Jeffery book. Very

30:36

fine. I really

30:38

like Yon-Por African. That's

30:41

a sort of phrase you

30:43

might find elsewhere. I don't actually feel

30:45

bad about it now. I

30:47

paid three quid for the Oxford Guide to Chaucer.

30:50

That makes me a bad person. It's

30:53

an unspeakable sin in the eyes of the

30:55

Oxfam Bookshop. Oh, man. That woman,

30:57

if ever a man was hung,

31:00

drawn and quartered visually, that

31:02

was it. Did

31:06

half have the cold throat, Frank? I'm

31:08

sorry. Oh, God. I tried to get...

31:10

Frank tried to trap me into having...

31:12

He just did. Why would... That

31:15

is so cruel. But

31:17

wouldn't it have been a better feature if you'd

31:19

tried it as well? And if I felt as

31:22

sick as you did for the entire two hours. Because

31:25

people think, oh, he's probably such a

31:27

wimp skinner. Whereas

31:30

if Mr.

31:33

January from the Firefighters' Galangist

31:35

tried it, then people think

31:38

truly, it was a salty

31:40

fit. That

31:45

would be the last line of the film.

31:47

It was beauty. Beauty killed the

31:49

beast. It was an

31:51

old skill, the comedian. Like a Citizen

31:54

Kane, and as you drop it, you

31:56

cod-row. We'll

31:58

put the picture up. Brace yourself,

32:00

oh yeah. Frank

32:04

Freeman is on Absolute

32:06

Radio. We're

32:09

getting a lot of feedback regarding

32:11

the cost. I'll tell you,

32:14

um, but, uh, go on.

32:17

If only there'd been some sort of visual clue that

32:19

it might not be delicious.

32:21

Hahaha. From me.

32:23

That's very good. I

32:26

mean, she's right. It is

32:28

extraordinarily horrid. Um, yeah,

32:31

I didn't expect it to look... Bear

32:33

in mind, that, while the picture we've put on,

32:37

I've broke it into two halves,

32:39

so I ate almost all

32:41

of that amount. No.

32:45

Yeah. So that half is

32:47

on touch, that's how it looks in the wild. Arson

32:50

Hugh? Oh my. Oh, it looks like I'm

32:52

mad, didn't it? Frank wasn't exaggerating. Oh my.

32:56

I believe that was Morris's

32:58

response to someone dying in

33:00

his gang. First in

33:02

the gang to die. Oh

33:05

my. Third

33:07

frame looks like evidence. Who is

33:09

this deaf birdie whooshing? Oh my.

33:13

George Takei. Um,

33:16

third frame, looks like evidence from a

33:18

murder trial. Yeah. They

33:20

just keep coming. I mean, it is... You

33:23

should check it out. I've just

33:25

Google image-searched what it looked like before you

33:27

broke it in half, and it looks like

33:29

the after picture in warnings about smoking with

33:32

the show Lungs. Yeah, I think I've got...

33:35

No, you've got bad lungs. I think I've

33:37

got a picture of the complete thing,

33:40

because Kath sent it to me, because

33:42

I said, could you fry a bit

33:44

of cod roe up for me for

33:46

when I get in? Oh, right, the

33:48

sultans. She said,

33:51

apparently, it's ready to eat with a picture

33:53

of it. And I thought, does

33:56

it look ready to eat? I

33:59

mean, if you will. a wild

34:01

animal or the animal that would be ready to be... Hang on,

34:03

maybe this is where we got it wrong. Was it

34:05

just not cooked? You're not supposed to

34:08

cook it, no, it says that. Smoked.

34:10

It's smoked so much, it's sort

34:12

of been cooked by smoke. Okay.

34:16

Okay. Cooked by smoke. I'd

34:18

love to see the gauntlet. It's

34:21

one of my reviews. What would you say

34:23

when the fishmonger says, Frank, I'll be

34:25

the fucking fishmonger. Morning, Frank. No,

34:27

he never does, Sassy. I just answered the door,

34:29

got some nice fish for you. This

34:32

is very creepy. What, you've never seen this person? Sounds like

34:34

you're talking about a ghost when you describe him. I've

34:36

never seen him, I just hear him. Got some nice

34:38

fish for you. Got some nice fish for you, buddy.

34:41

And that will be the end line when

34:43

your body's found. Got some nice fish for

34:45

you. Well, I work upstairs, I work on

34:47

the top deck. And

34:51

the cat works downstairs. He's getting very

34:53

fish-paid. North-gut. Fire at the top deck.

34:57

You're not actually a captain bird's eye. And

35:01

so I answer

35:03

the door in case it's an intruder.

35:06

And if it's a friend

35:08

rather than foe. A hulking great

35:10

type like you to see him

35:12

off. Yeah, exactly. I've got, you

35:14

know, an old armour of weaponry.

35:17

But if

35:20

it's friend, then she actually lets them

35:22

in. So I've never actually seen the

35:24

fishman. Have cats seen the fishman? Oh,

35:26

God, cats. Yeah, cats seen the fishman. Yeah. So...

35:30

Ate some smoked roe from

35:32

an unknown fishman. Well, unknown

35:35

to me. How do we know it's a fishman? It could

35:37

be David Bideal trying to make a few extra balls. Some sort of prank.

35:41

Something he found on Hampton E. These

35:45

salts, are they? You'll

35:47

never believe Frank fallen for it

35:49

again. Frank

35:53

Skinner. Frank Skinner. Absolute

35:55

Radio. Frank,

35:58

I'm... Like

36:00

to have a return. Some of our

36:02

prior correspondence on the show they contact

36:05

to sell the way more. Of

36:07

races or response. Ah,

36:09

we've heard from for example, James

36:11

He. From. Leeds occur

36:14

see. James you go and

36:16

talk summer. We were talking about how

36:18

he styles followers and how we didn't

36:20

think on like the Swiss days they'd

36:22

come up with standard nailed the name.

36:24

Would I like Billy Bob or

36:26

think easier for for Justin Bieber?

36:28

Barrel of the Harrys don't realize

36:31

is about see someone's it's a

36:33

call himself didn't believe it or

36:35

sobs and believe up via via

36:37

Sounds Cool. The carries. The

36:40

and not goodness and has

36:42

no adequate salaries. Same see

36:44

some amazing that was Santa.

36:46

Come on these people same

36:48

see some leads says ah.

36:51

I have three. One oh. Oh it's

36:53

it's very sad this is the fault

36:55

for not been. I'm going to Sarah

36:57

S. Ah very sad that something has

37:00

been a high sets her jacket said

37:02

years. Ago. Like James,

37:04

it's says a lot. best trying to him and sit

37:06

on. The show before it's se les. Practical.

37:11

Texas and says he continues

37:13

even discussing the selective mounds.

37:15

Of follow his of Harry Styles when. The

37:17

dates and I thought that was

37:19

fine being sought to devout follower

37:22

of the Nazarene. Then

37:24

what about this guy's. A. Pulse

37:27

tiles. Apostolic

37:30

Hostile. Of hostile. I mean it's

37:32

a little bit unwieldy, but in. Asia.

37:34

Extraordinary means of pustules saw

37:36

may be a boat for

37:38

it. It's a good try.

37:41

Finding such as Roy's Slows is

37:43

over almost I used as I

37:45

don't cut fries as good but

37:47

it's enough rice. A dozen triples

37:49

the tongue but by in a

37:51

good good on him Fairway there

37:53

he. Added. Early and you know what? He

37:55

got his mentioned on the So before. Via.

37:58

Was fired Close eye on the church. Then.

38:01

I cause a sprained ankle We

38:03

will you think on the last

38:05

die absolute so poop think arouse

38:07

all the way as sound of

38:09

stairs to the job said for

38:12

justice and waited a big skip

38:14

rattling slide show resign supply men

38:16

who go to sleep. Retired

38:21

from. Also called eighty

38:23

Three. O or can

38:25

attend a coffee shop. Sounds

38:28

like maybe to be a sign of called thrive. Suppose

38:31

that are coffee goes from the.com

38:33

fi hall and. That

38:35

was find that was saga to

38:38

three. Would definitely his view his

38:40

it on linux as you didn't

38:42

these it's right under him on

38:44

the throne and minds of the

38:46

sunsets and I'll say is not

38:48

my favorite mythological creature doing strikes

38:50

itself on hand. Money. Is

38:52

the lamps And one ah, because

38:55

while it's a worm, and partly

38:57

because I can just about see

38:59

it's residents. Of choice and saw monument

39:01

from. My house and easy view. That said,

39:03

Mr. Worm returned. Now I have no idea

39:06

I love the sound is for I have

39:08

no idea what. Anybody says when

39:10

the lamps and worm

39:12

was a logs. Creature.

39:15

Some sort of like a bit block

39:17

ness monsters which that was from the

39:19

north east of England not know of

39:22

a because my dad used as is

39:24

from County Durham is to sing northeast

39:26

and songs to me when I was

39:28

a child I don't know them and

39:30

it begins Waves. And up forgive

39:32

the asks him but while gather oh no

39:35

I'm not telling a story about the war.

39:39

By many effectively about Elvis automation

39:41

the line said oh god isn't

39:43

about about say it down a

39:45

now I only that allowed to

39:47

her of more do you feel

39:49

better than a lot lot of

39:51

the oil. and

39:53

ah yes i do apologize to be

39:55

accepted as and so that he is

39:57

so than it does the song about

39:59

that the world terrorized the local area

40:02

of the slanton. Told them about the

40:04

worm. What did it say? There was

40:06

a worm. And what did he

40:08

do? He terrorized the

40:10

local area. Did he do anything else?

40:13

No, that was an offer of worm. He

40:15

said worm? What do you think he did? He

40:17

opened a small secondhand bookshop.

40:20

And charged 35 quid. Can

40:23

I ask, how could a worm

40:25

terrorize? Because it's a big giant

40:27

thing. It's like a

40:29

massive, loch-less monster worm. Oh,

40:31

has anyone ever seen a picture of the lantern worm?

40:34

Well, I don't think it was a

40:36

possibility that it didn't exist. Oh,

40:38

God. I

40:40

don't know if there's the surgeon's

40:42

photograph of the lantern worm, as

40:45

there is with... Lottie.

40:47

Nessie. What's it called? Nessie. With a plot mess,

40:49

yeah. Although it turned out that

40:51

the surgeon was actually a gynecologist, but

40:53

they couldn't put that in the paper, because they

40:56

thought people would be appalled. Such a person existed.

41:00

And who'd trust one of those, I think, was

41:02

the thing. Yeah,

41:04

it's true. Frank

41:06

Skinner. Frank Skinner. F-1083.

41:08

Absolute radio. Go

41:12

on. 351. I will miss Frank. I'm

41:15

from the black country and know all about cod row.

41:18

Yeah, but it's not that. Don't think it's

41:20

that thing from the chip shop. It isn't

41:23

like that. Really? No. And people who look

41:25

at the picture I posted will think

41:27

it's the lantern worm. Yeah, so it's

41:29

as rawly as... And we wonder why

41:31

our show's not coming about. Yeah, as

41:33

rawly. The lantern worm. I

41:36

still haven't seen the lantern worm. And you know what? I want

41:38

to keep it like that. I don't know if you'll see. Well,

41:41

yeah, but Frank, what do you... But

41:44

you... you know... I

41:46

mean, you can't see it, but you can

41:48

still believe in its existence if you know

41:50

what I mean. Certainly. OK. Like

41:53

me and mermaids. Yes. Your

41:56

optimism that one day... I

41:58

don't know if I'd be terrible. if I saw

42:01

an actual mermaid. What if one got dredged

42:03

up by sort of Indonesian trawlers? What if

42:05

you got a cod's row mermaid? Oh

42:08

no. Anyway. Well,

42:12

regarding the cod's row, the

42:14

picture of which is on Twitter, Rawley has

42:16

said, it looks like the shin bone of

42:18

a man frozen during the last ice age.

42:20

Yeah. There is a shank

42:22

machine, he's got the right to fire in the bag.

42:25

It reminds me of when I was on a

42:28

play month and I ordered shank. And

42:30

I didn't really know what shank was. Okay. Well,

42:33

that sounds nice. It was disgusting. I thought I was going to

42:35

put a foot on my plate. Oh, that's like

42:37

a lovely lamb shank. Sometimes

42:40

they fall off the bone, they're so tender.

42:42

It was, I thought, why

42:44

is a foot on my plate? I couldn't

42:46

get purchased. I didn't know what

42:48

to do with it. It felt like a British Museum

42:50

exhibit. And you should, did you not, were you

42:52

not tempted to just Henry the Ate sit and just grab

42:55

the leg bone and have at it right there on the

42:57

plate? I didn't

42:59

like it at all, Frank. I've, you know, I've never

43:01

had a shank since then. Finally,

43:08

can't see. You

43:12

know, oh, well, that's something.

43:17

I am, come on, P.S. I

43:20

don't mean this. We've

43:25

had an email about the Lambton worm

43:27

film. Oh, I didn't know

43:29

there was such a thing. Is it an

43:31

old black and white whiskey galore type person?

43:34

No, and it's in fact, it's something

43:36

you should know about because it stars

43:38

a former doctor of the

43:40

who variety. Oh, which one? Good

43:42

morning, Frank and team. Your chat about said worm. Yeah,

43:45

me lad. Reminded me

43:47

of a formative film watching experience of the Ken

43:50

Russell movie, the Lair of the White Worm. Oh,

43:52

she was. Yes,

43:54

I've seen that film based on the lesson. You

43:56

weren't in that. All is early based in part

43:58

of the legend. starred

44:00

Amanda Donahoe, Lou Vrant

44:02

and indeed Peter Capaldi.

44:04

He did. I've

44:07

seen that. I had no connection to

44:09

the Lambton Worm at all. But

44:12

Ken Rosswood, they took a bit of follow in

44:14

his films. Oh, were they

44:16

obscure? They were, you know, avant-garde

44:18

is what they were. Oh,

44:21

yeah. But we mainly went for the nudity.

44:23

I'll be honest with you in those days.

44:26

Oh, charming. But that's how we got into art,

44:28

you see. It's all about having a sort

44:31

of gateway drug. Yeah.

44:34

There you go. Charming.

44:36

So you could sort of alternate

44:38

to a Syrian academic insight between

44:41

Nudie Postcard. Yeah. You wandering around,

44:43

rubbing your hands with glue, looking at

44:45

the mannae, Dejaness, they're like, oh, it's quite

44:47

one ear, mate. Come and have a look. It's

44:49

the whole concept of the lost leader. Just get

44:52

him into the shop. Just

44:54

the one with the loo. Four, Ruben

44:56

it. Just get him into the

44:58

loo, Ruben. Frank

45:01

Skynyrk, come on Absolute

45:03

Radio. This

45:05

is Frank Skynyrk on Absolute Radio with Emily Dean and

45:07

Pierre Novelli. You can text the show on 8-12-15. You

45:12

can follow us on X and

45:14

Instagram at Frank on the radio.

45:16

Email via frankatabsolutero.co.uk. OK.

45:21

The other day, Frank, we were letting the

45:24

great British public have their say on your

45:26

shoes, your brutal sort

45:28

of Dutch passing shoes. Well, it came, didn't

45:30

it, from Rishi Sunak

45:33

Samba. Yes. Yeah. Mr.

45:36

Sunak was trying to destroy something fashionable, and

45:38

you were worried that your shoes were too

45:40

wide at the tips. I've

45:44

never felt comfortable in them.

45:46

I feel like people might be pointing

45:48

as I go past. Nurturing.

45:50

Yeah. Did you see his shoes? They

45:52

look like Weetabix. They

45:56

look like the shoes in Man

45:59

milling. The Rain. Fifteen Ninety

46:01

seven exactly have had to have

46:03

a massive bad look. well done

46:06

wrong and apologies if anyone can

46:08

him. Drilling. I.

46:10

Said he is a real signs home in

46:12

and yeah. I've made doing all the

46:15

watt lamp and I'd like to planet Lonely

46:17

de los. I say they're still building

46:19

our gallows. Ah

46:21

and find relaxing Zip say is

46:24

a land of oz or less

46:26

than I'd read a know why?

46:28

Like the lads and I find

46:31

the all moms and sleeman here

46:33

just gonna get joint lol I'll

46:35

just fine literally lap of men

46:38

I'll ask again as I felt

46:40

so sorry that was I regarding

46:42

shoes allowances a new collapse. Nasty.

46:46

like allow lab just don't want

46:48

our movies. Sam I'm always amazed

46:51

that collapse happen. Yeah, because I

46:53

have. I've. Longed for

46:55

a collapse for years. by just

46:57

wouldn't ask anyone for can't cope

47:00

with the code. saw it online

47:02

for the has now I mean

47:04

right students finally collaborating was regular

47:07

caudron you know how I did

47:09

about I can say is gonna

47:11

go. See

47:14

much on a stay at the

47:16

doubles at Wimbledon. Silly approach and

47:18

amines. It's and is fine said.

47:20

It's essentially my doubles partner them

47:23

go. Now. Aura

47:26

even have that boldly Sir

47:28

Alan Bennett. For. Us. When I

47:30

read Trial and Bernie Sanders right apply together.

47:32

He did. Wanted he says and. He.

47:35

Said that aren't enemy or I

47:37

tell my own submit a set

47:39

of cause I know you are

47:42

but term know. That

47:46

s arena fan out as a longer

47:48

that is a nice letter ocean Supplier

47:50

the what was I thinking? I read

47:52

silent Bambee and so so we ride

47:55

supply together Food in out of my

47:57

mind on us don't get. and

48:00

Well, duas don't get it. Well,

48:02

this collab should excite you, because

48:04

you're a fan of Crocs. I

48:08

am. I think they're much

48:10

maligned. Yeah. They're the underdog

48:12

of the shoe world in New Champion. I think

48:14

people thought they were great. They thought it was

48:16

like the Russian Revolution. It was fabulous. And

48:19

suddenly, they got naff, and I have no

48:21

idea why. Someone decided. Chefs.

48:24

But Chefs wear them with Dosto. It's

48:27

actually easy with Czech trousers. Always

48:30

with a Czech trousers. The old

48:32

double-breasted tunic. Why

48:34

does Chefs still wear the Czech trousers?

48:36

Because of the Napoleonic uniform. They

48:39

haven't updated their look, Chefs. And

48:41

I love that for them. I love the

48:43

double-breast with a flap. Yeah.

48:46

Another flap on it. Well, they have that extra

48:49

padding on the elbow so they can

48:51

lean on the bin while they're smoking

48:53

outside the restaurant. Oh, yeah. They've

48:56

got the Alsatian dog display. Yeah, they're always

48:58

out there, I think, in fact. They

49:00

might as well smoke some cod roe or they're

49:02

at it. Anyway.

49:06

So, Kross finally collaborated with

49:08

Pringles. Oh, I mean, that

49:11

is it. Do you

49:13

like Pringles? Two of your favourite things.

49:16

Do you like Pringles? It's like when

49:18

that film co-boys at Aliens. And I

49:20

thought, I just cannot believe this is

49:22

absolutely so brilliant. Do you like Pringles,

49:25

Frank? Oh, yes. I

49:27

really like them. I'm down to it. What's

49:30

your favourite flavour? I like

49:32

the old traditional, but I like

49:34

cream, cheese and

49:36

chive. Oh, God. I

49:39

know. I know. The only thing... Yeah,

49:41

that's it. The only one I don't like,

49:44

and I don't like this in anything, is

49:46

barbecue. Why does that

49:48

exist? Oh, I like

49:50

a BBQ. Oh, no. Why

49:53

not? I like a BBQ. But

49:56

if I see like, you know, a hula Hoops,

49:59

barbecue. Right on a more

50:01

I. Mean, like a frazzle.

50:04

I'd. Almost rather vague or down

50:06

here are the lighter or darker

50:08

friends of Raven Don't And that.

50:10

That. Branch of Slashed

50:12

Mask World colds, barbecue or

50:15

just our like it allows

50:17

and forgot that insisted don't

50:19

ask me a dead. Person.

50:28

We were talking frank

50:30

about the Pringle. Slob.

50:33

With. Crops guess which is

50:35

disrupt. And they've joined

50:37

forces and see to create said where.

50:39

He is so he has. The.

50:42

One of the me very own crock like

50:44

one of them is a sort of saw

50:47

I talked to the prospect of earlier cold

50:49

but I wouldn't have recognize that is coming

50:51

from the crop family have. To. Score The

50:53

Is More And Astronauts Aboard an Astronaut.

50:55

The. Beer sources of Cookie Cookie

50:58

Toad Asthma says it really did

51:00

that trump Do do those dates

51:02

years I croak cross I wasn't

51:04

aware and as I dub brands

51:06

to of the car and you'll

51:08

vary across the output normally well.

51:11

I've. Seen at least for lined up in your. Whole

51:13

lot on with our age of

51:15

the family as got yeah cause

51:17

for had that from maxi moment

51:19

when I took boss to address

51:21

Cubs books outcomes you sheltered in

51:23

Hampstead and the woman Maisie the

51:25

mom one of those talks with

51:27

days he said warm as to

51:29

sorry i'm afraid you're between curl.

51:33

To been so hard to

51:35

sell for the optimal I'm

51:38

a Cf, so wired. Cerebral

51:40

Purgatory allows Now sinking with

51:42

it isn't. A think he said

51:44

that for in the hall. Citizen may have

51:46

less. Busy really in a warm

51:49

X ray machines anywhere. We should

51:51

say these curl boots have what

51:53

I would call Pringles holsters on

51:56

the side where you put your

51:58

smart you know this. No

52:00

small Stouts Pringle Tube said travel

52:02

brakes on the piano. Absolutely for

52:05

grad. You know we'll get back

52:07

to that. An absolute rid of.

52:11

Missouri so that was a hundred channel. Know.

52:15

A little bit it's yet they you only

52:17

get about ten thing know senate. Ah,

52:20

your shoe size? you to get about one pringle

52:22

in these? How. Does this well. Let's

52:24

I just about the crunk Pringle.

52:27

Lab Cross the yes it

52:29

was. This has to cel

52:31

Oh yes have. You noticed

52:33

this? There is a

52:35

d a bit of detail which always

52:38

all eyes are three. Pringles.

52:40

Saved it is. it's kind of. he seems

52:42

it's still sing out the bad luck on

52:44

the back of a call and you've got

52:46

involved the things and you get these sins.

52:49

Cel those things that dangle down on

52:51

to the ground. Still that is getting

52:53

travel six to members. This is like.

52:55

And still sing out since in

52:57

the back of the day. And eighty

53:00

three. Pringles. Oh god

53:02

like song guy on a long

53:04

sadly what it is t what

53:07

I am reminded me of from

53:09

the with the why the Pringles

53:11

had something these we are done

53:14

I've done if is fast and

53:16

still exists but man in t

53:18

shirts used for a cigarette faster

53:21

and mats box in the sleeve

53:23

of the teacher in the roadway

53:26

that tempted secure me marlboro man

53:28

that also that he didn't he

53:30

didn't. They did big biceps because you

53:32

are to be like pushing yeah to

53:35

be sort of snogging to the slaves

53:37

Dismiss enough room. My. Know. That that's why

53:39

you did the Miss Universe he sent. Offer

53:41

no no but aren't Rgb are

53:43

so I said sour could carry

53:46

of family size passes. Graduated in

53:48

the slave of minds. Asia S

53:50

L a runner. but

53:53

with the they must have had quite long t

53:55

shirt sleeves are done to the elbow more than

53:57

there are none none as i say sat saw

53:59

Why? That sounds so... Can I tell you

54:01

what I loved? There was one thing I

54:04

particularly loved about the blurb for the Pringles

54:06

collab, which was it said of

54:08

the Pringles pouch, this allows

54:10

both fashionistas and snackers to

54:12

carry the crisps on their favourite shoes. And

54:15

I lost their acknowledgement that those two

54:17

groups are mutually exclusive. There

54:20

were some very good... There were

54:22

some very good quotes. I don't often

54:25

enjoy a press release, but they

54:27

really did go for it. More

54:29

of that to come. Frank

54:31

Skinner. Absolute Radio.

54:37

We've got a few visitors, Frank. Yes.

54:41

My partner, Kath, is here.

54:43

My son, Buzz, and my

54:45

dog, The Dog, is

54:47

here. Now, Poppy is here. Oh,

54:50

she looked round when I said that.

54:52

Yeah, they're coming to have one last look.

54:56

Well, there in my buzz is nearly

54:58

12. His entire life I've

55:00

been doing this radio show. That's true, yeah.

55:04

I announced his birth on this

55:06

very show. So, you know,

55:08

42% potato.

55:13

I beg your pardon? Pringles. I am.

55:16

They avoid some sort of tax thing, if

55:18

I remember right. Oh, that's right. Because there's

55:20

an extra tax on potato-based snacks. They're not

55:23

crisps. So they

55:25

kept their potato content

55:27

down to 42%, which

55:30

means they don't have to pay. We

55:32

all do our best to keep our

55:34

potato content down. Yeah, exactly. But not

55:36

for all I mentioned. He's doing great

55:39

at the moment. These boots, the Pringle

55:41

Croc collab. Yeah. They said they were...

55:43

Pringle croc collab, ooh.

55:48

Pringle croc collab, ooh.

55:52

Might leave you with a scab.

55:55

Ooh. You'll

55:57

have to jump a cab. The

56:04

Pringle Crop collapse. Ah, they

56:06

were saying so. Already a

56:09

huge hit with celebrities. Okay,

56:11

Saw the by showed

56:13

a picture Celebrities such

56:15

as Chris Olson. Have.

56:17

You had of criminals know? When

56:20

I have only one that is am a man or

56:22

lead. It's the man contests

56:24

but I don't do either of you. Max

56:27

and. Businesses I want to seem

56:29

to be human services weren't listen

56:31

sisters cold their bills and says

56:33

senator and then Frank built a

56:35

lot of this man's. Anything I

56:38

could find on record about this character,

56:40

he was voted tic toc Sexiest Man

56:42

by People Magazine. And. Twenty Two: A

56:44

Manuel respect among the money. Is

56:46

famous for his coffee delivering videos.

56:49

Are good as man that

56:51

the odyssey of service us

56:53

cause he says is kind

56:55

of of burris s got

56:57

some nice dogs are you.

57:01

Specifically, the as I'd like imagining How

57:04

not that I don't want to see

57:06

deliver them to celebrity sausages. Said

57:08

his famed coffee delivering videos.

57:10

Or to live as some in a sort of

57:12

us less equal surprising way. Through

57:15

the window he will have the boots and

57:17

he really likes them As and hey guys

57:19

check out my new Pringle called Sonos Esteem

57:21

is paid an honor. But. Enough

57:23

if you're suggesting a man whose

57:26

only same as the doing stupid

57:28

things on tic toc could be

57:30

paid and were silly shoes while

57:32

those of us to buy the

57:34

cigarettes in the sleeve on one

57:36

i was growing up. We

57:40

mean that sorts of for

57:42

moms and beyond into grounds

57:44

never ran out, women, mums

57:47

and beyond. Officer

57:50

at all or most

57:52

of our. Minds

57:55

as A.is to going out. on

57:59

us But anyway, they

58:02

always had a handkerchief up the cardigan sleeve.

58:04

Do you remember that? They used to have

58:06

that little lob. They had a marimin and

58:08

a hanky. Did they have a marimin? I

58:11

don't remember that marimin in an Anna's pocket.

58:13

No, I don't. Always, Fag.

58:16

What about novel ways of carrying

58:18

the fear? Oh yeah, there's the

58:20

pencil behind the ear. Yes.

58:23

I really miss that. Yeah, what

58:25

other novel ways? We've had cigarettes

58:27

up the sleeve, a letter 8-12-15,

58:30

novel ways of carrying... Knife in the

58:33

boot. Yeah,

58:35

the Dirk. We'll get lots of

58:37

Scottish ones saying what about the Dirk? About,

58:40

just put the light on. Frank

58:45

Skinner. Frank Skinner. Absolute

58:47

radio. Frank,

58:51

you were talking earlier about unconventional

58:53

places for carrying items. Well, just

58:55

ways of carrying things. Pencil behind

58:57

the ear, cigarette packing up the

58:59

t-shirt sleeve. Okay. Don't

59:02

tell me the drugs mule was

59:04

texted. I don't know if we're going to read

59:06

this one out. Tying the

59:08

shoes over the telegraph. 482,

59:11

dinner money in your shoe. Oh,

59:13

in your shoe? Yeah, no, it is

59:16

a poem as well. When

59:19

we moved to the Isle of Man

59:21

from South Africa, we were introduced to the concept of

59:23

dinner money. Right. And the

59:25

primary school, local primary school said to my

59:27

parents, your kids will need dinner

59:29

money tins. And

59:31

my parents said, and what is that?

59:34

Yeah. It's like

59:36

a tiny, sort of biscuit tin for

59:38

your dinner money. And they went, right. Where

59:42

do we buy tiny tins? Like

59:44

for sewing kits. Yeah. Yeah, all the

59:46

news agents and stuff nearby will have dinner money

59:48

tins. And my parents thought, I

59:50

don't think they will. And they walked into a shop

59:52

in incredibly South African on the Isle of Man. We've

59:55

been told to come here and ask for dinner

59:58

money tins. And the guy went, you know, Yeah, yeah,

1:00:00

yeah, just really a whole tray of them. Which

1:00:02

one would you like? I always say that.

1:00:04

It's a little rattly tin. I was in

1:00:06

Mississippi once and I went into a sort

1:00:08

of a corner shop and they had 13

1:00:12

different types of chewing tobacco. I

1:00:15

mean, wow! That

1:00:18

is, look, my partner has arrived

1:00:20

with the other half of the

1:00:22

cargrow and I'm trying to persuade

1:00:24

Emily and Pierre. Pierre has been,

1:00:27

Pierre who I think of as

1:00:29

my Mr January will take on any

1:00:31

challenge. No, he's being a little bit like,

1:00:33

well, I don't want to possibly have that.

1:00:35

I've had come over, I'll peculiarly. You didn't

1:00:37

see Frank when he answered the door. Really?

1:00:39

It was like one of those Sky Mummies

1:00:41

they find in Peru. He's

1:00:44

in Wiggy Wiggy. Is that dehydrated? Why does

1:00:46

he want us to feel like he's there?

1:00:48

No, because I had a massive, massive amount

1:00:50

of heat. Why should we suffer? You

1:00:53

should be thinking, oh, I'm so glad my

1:00:55

dear friends were spared the cotrow incident.

1:00:57

No, you asked for supper. Do you

1:00:59

know when American cops find powder in

1:01:01

a bag and they just put a

1:01:03

knife, lick their finger with a little

1:01:06

flick knife? But

1:01:08

they'll just lick their... Is

1:01:11

it Coke? Please

1:01:16

throw it in. It won't hurt you. I

1:01:18

would watch that. I think most shows on the street

1:01:20

as well. Is it Coke in a way? Plenty

1:01:25

of shows. Okay, Frank, bring on

1:01:27

the cotrow. Okay, that's the spirit. Come

1:01:30

on, Jenny, have you got the cotrow? Meanwhile,

1:01:32

can I read you something from the

1:01:34

Bible? Frank, so, what I like is,

1:01:36

as soon as the cotrow, your dog started

1:01:38

prowling in a very menacing way. She

1:01:41

knew the road was on the way. Yeah,

1:01:43

it's like a barracuda around in the island.

1:01:47

Come on then, what were you going to read, though? Swedish a

1:01:49

little bit. No, I read this. I'm

1:01:51

just talking about, as well as

1:01:54

the croc boot, Can I point

1:01:56

out, there is another more croc-like

1:01:58

croc. Baidu Ice

1:02:00

or just give them small bedsides

1:02:02

of my now my eyes. Which

1:02:06

we must have a man or

1:02:08

woman cause a car garage the

1:02:10

their how quickly the worm time

1:02:13

and the has a d v

1:02:15

d s of my size and.

1:02:20

A half dozen other than said that great. Like

1:02:22

a nursery so it's I should break and then

1:02:24

during a society on air all the long run,

1:02:26

I just don't want you to lose your nerve.

1:02:29

You. Know what I'm saying, You know? talk? A

1:02:39

full week and today seven votes it as we

1:02:41

go to the break before the contrary to exist.

1:02:43

Israel's like Frank has decided to end the show

1:02:45

by killing the T mobile phone as it's like

1:02:48

a world War Two. Sides all my

1:02:50

own sake. Assign I gather my

1:02:52

own. I won't be very that

1:02:54

the lands and the. Asa

1:02:57

ago and a dog bury my heart

1:02:59

of balance and on their names are

1:03:01

on the wall of honor in the

1:03:04

atrium. Overland said if we're getting. A

1:03:06

loss of it's very final days of. What else

1:03:08

would say? Sir, Come on guys, the

1:03:10

Jedi during as at the top sir.

1:03:12

Yes, I don't have a bit more

1:03:14

soil. I'd say my body's got used

1:03:17

to a their. Sign

1:03:19

Ah my. God

1:03:22

oh my god the smell of

1:03:25

it on and been on minute

1:03:27

oh leg or arm ourselves. I

1:03:29

don't. Ah block. Greenhouse

1:03:31

me some Okay, I'm going in guys,

1:03:33

I'm going in. It's really make a

1:03:36

meal. Francs or some balls is

1:03:38

gonna weed. Saw the to do

1:03:40

this together in oh come on

1:03:42

bows that's the one two three.

1:03:47

Like low tide smells. Up

1:03:50

ah I see do so

1:03:53

the past in our answer

1:03:55

the phone call Detective. That's

1:04:00

it. I said I'm not. I will not

1:04:02

walk out of here alive. All together now.

1:04:04

It ends on

1:04:15

my turn. All

1:04:21

together. Appreciate

1:04:25

it. Oh, the dog is, the dog's refusing

1:04:28

it. Well, now

1:04:33

she's eating it. Now she's

1:04:35

dead too. I don't know if

1:04:37

this is a great idea, to

1:04:39

be honest. But who

1:04:41

cares at this stage? No,

1:04:45

I care. That's not true. It's one

1:04:47

of the worst taste bud moments I've

1:04:49

ever had in my entire life. And

1:04:52

you've lived the level of salt. I

1:04:55

can see why when you open the door. The dog

1:04:58

has rejected it just FYI. Yeah. The dog won't

1:05:01

eat it. And the dog was trying to

1:05:04

eat my mascara earlier. So that gives you

1:05:06

an insight into how disgusting it is. Or

1:05:08

how little salt is in your mascara. Yeah.

1:05:11

Yeah. The salt has

1:05:13

just hit me now. Yeah, there's an

1:05:15

aftertaste of the salt. Oh hell, there's a half a

1:05:17

day. I've been set though. I wouldn't mind a bit

1:05:19

more. Oh my god.

1:05:21

Can I have a bit more please Jenny? Yeah.

1:05:23

As I said, this is not

1:05:26

really radio is it? No. This is Saturday

1:05:28

morning kitchen. I don't know. I don't think

1:05:30

they would allow this sort of thing on

1:05:32

Saturday morning kitchen. Do you know what? I

1:05:34

thought the hungover. You won a

1:05:37

bit more as well. I quite like it now. There you

1:05:39

go, you see. I think the salt

1:05:41

has really turned me. Do you

1:05:43

know what I mean? Yes. Oh

1:05:46

okay. I do know. I've lost most of

1:05:48

the water content of my body. Oh you,

1:05:50

you. I've really, I've never

1:05:52

been so let down by an

1:05:54

accomplice. Why? You should see the

1:05:56

tiny tiny like three eggs. Yeah,

1:06:00

I can't believe it. It's

1:06:03

something you're still paying attention. Oh,

1:06:05

okay. Sorry. Okay. Okay.

1:06:08

Should we go back to Pringles? Yeah. I

1:06:11

like all the rules going out

1:06:13

the window. Can I say the

1:06:15

Pringle crocs that

1:06:17

look most like Pringles. Yeah.

1:06:20

The strap, you know, the strap on a

1:06:22

Pringle is the mustache. The strap on a

1:06:25

croc. The Pringle doesn't have

1:06:27

a strap. The strap on a croc is

1:06:29

Mr Pringle's mustache. Julius Pringle, yeah.

1:06:32

Now, I always have the strap

1:06:34

on a croc at the back

1:06:36

as a way of keeping the

1:06:38

croc on. Yeah. I don't

1:06:41

think it should be worn at the front, which

1:06:43

is what they're suggesting. Oh, I see.

1:06:45

Well, I'm afraid of hair Pringle disagree.

1:06:47

I know my hair Pringle. You call

1:06:50

him hair Pringle, but where is

1:06:52

his hair? Because Julius Pringle did

1:06:54

have a sort of Victorian strongman parting.

1:06:56

I distinctly remember. Yeah. And

1:06:59

then overnight he was bald.

1:07:02

That right. He's bald now. Why they made it. Julius

1:07:06

Pringle just lost his hair. Have

1:07:08

you ever known, I've known some

1:07:10

hairy people in my life. Have

1:07:14

I ever known anyone hairy enough

1:07:16

to have an ankle mustache? Which

1:07:21

is what if I wore

1:07:24

my Pringle, my croc strap

1:07:26

in the normal position, that's what I would have.

1:07:28

Stop saying croc strap. Sorry. They feel a bit

1:07:30

ill. Very fine. Dog

1:07:32

hair and family members. Sickening.

1:07:36

Oh, my moustache themed croc strap. It's

1:07:41

at the end of the show. Oh God,

1:07:43

I'm sorry. I did so badly, everyone. Moustache

1:07:46

themed croc strap. Yes. And people

1:07:48

eating stuff that you can't see.

1:07:52

Yes. It's all slightly gone down the

1:07:54

plug hole. Yes.

1:07:57

We're me and Pierre in Stoke. Can

1:08:00

I live in Stoke on Trent?

1:08:02

Robbie Williams and Down New. He.

1:08:05

I see a see actually stuff I

1:08:07

think he's one of the five telling

1:08:10

he says his ear hair salon am.

1:08:12

Thank you for listen This morning I'm

1:08:14

sorry So term are poised and every

1:08:16

one begin. Our domain is the last

1:08:19

days of Rome. And

1:08:21

is the Good Lord Spans and the Craig's

1:08:23

don't Rise. Will be back again this time

1:08:25

next week. Now get out.