0:00

If a friend asks how you're doing and

0:02

you say, I'm okay. When

0:04

the truth is, I don't want

0:07

my problems to burden anyone. Or

0:09

you say, Hang it in there.

0:11

Because, If I ask for help, they'll

0:14

just think I'm weak. Then

0:16

this is your sign to call,

0:18

text or chat. 988

0:21

for free confidential support. Anytime.

0:25

You don't have to hide how you feel. Hi,

0:32

my name is Lewis Howes and

0:34

welcome to the Daily Motivation Show.

0:43

How important is

0:46

the thoughts that you say in

0:48

your mind quietly every day and

0:50

the words you speak out

0:52

loud every day? How important

0:54

are they together and which one is more

0:56

valuable if you can only choose one? So

1:00

I'll start with this. Your life

1:02

is a physical manifestation of

1:04

the conversation going on in your head. I'm

1:07

gonna start with that. And we just speak for like 24 hours on

1:09

this. I love this.

1:11

Right. Your life is a physical manifestation

1:13

of the conversation going on in your head.

1:15

So if you said nothing but thought everything,

1:18

your life is gonna show up to make

1:20

your thoughts true. So you have one job,

1:22

to make what you think about life true.

1:24

So that you're not wrong. You don't want

1:26

to walk around wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.

1:28

You want to be right about the life

1:30

you see. So you're going to work hard,

1:33

work hard to produce the life that

1:35

you talk about in your mind. Whether

1:38

that life is no one loves me,

1:40

I'm all alone. You can be

1:42

in a group of people and you will think I'm so

1:44

alone. And

1:46

you will feel alone and things will

1:49

show up to cosign your loneliness just

1:51

because you're looking for that. If

1:54

you start with, I'm gonna say the mind,

1:56

like the mind is that thing. The mind

1:58

is the core engine. all

2:00

things. It shuts all things down.

2:02

When I start thinking something different, like, hold

2:05

on, stop. I want to think something, I

2:07

shut down that behavior. I shut down that

2:09

outcome. When I burst something, I burst

2:11

it into my mind. I focus on my

2:13

mind. I see myself there in my mind.

2:15

Before I got on with you, I was

2:17

doing guided visualization. I'm

2:20

recording them. So people, and I mean,

2:22

they're juicy. And I'm saying,

2:24

see yourself here. If you can

2:26

speak your attention, the key is

2:29

evoke the emotion as

2:31

if you were there. And

2:33

that's why people who are sad all

2:35

the time are sad because they're

2:38

thinking of things that make them sad.

2:40

And then the emotion follows the

2:43

thought. So I'm gonna say

2:45

everything starts with your thought, Louis. But let

2:47

me just say this. When you

2:49

speak, you speak your

2:51

future into the world. You speak

2:54

your future. Whatever you say, whatever

2:56

falls off your tongue, when

2:58

you say I am, don't have

3:00

to mind it. And you are so. Whatever

3:02

comes on the other side of that. And

3:05

so you ask me a hard question, which

3:07

one is most important? It starts

3:09

with the thought. I think the thought is

3:12

that's where everything originates. And then you add

3:14

a whole lot of turbo boost to it

3:16

with your tongue. Yeah. So when you

3:18

align the two, and

3:20

then you add to it, the

3:23

B12 of action,

3:25

action is like, action

3:27

is like, that's the nitro. That's the

3:29

nitro. Right.

3:32

And I see so many people, they think

3:34

it, they write it, they journal it, they

3:36

talk about it, and they do no action.

3:39

And I go, you understand that the

3:41

action is that that's like, that's like

3:43

putting the flower in the sun. Yeah, I

3:45

had this a beautiful explanation. And I had a

3:47

Navy seal on, he talked about as

3:50

a seal. He

3:52

used the tongue as a rudder and a boat.

3:54

And he said, what you speak is going to

3:56

lead you down, you know, the ocean or the

3:59

river or wherever. on the boat you're

4:01

on and so he never says anything

4:03

negative out loud because it's so powerful

4:05

and the Navy Seals he talked about

4:07

how powerful it is no matter how

4:09

much pain they're experiencing in

4:11

Hell Week and all this stuff they're dealing with

4:14

they never allow the tongue to speak something

4:16

negative otherwise they'll ultimately quit and give up.

4:19

Too painful to give us what

4:21

they deal with to then

4:23

say I'm hurting I'm tired I can't

4:26

do it. Right right don't

4:28

don't don't speak that don't speak that until you're

4:30

where you go because whatever you speak feels like

4:32

you can. Of course. Energy

4:34

grows for energy to go that

4:36

expands so speak life, speak

4:38

disability. There is not one dark situation

4:41

that doesn't have a glimmer of life.

4:43

It doesn't mean it's gonna be convenient

4:45

to see. That's

4:47

true. Most of us are looking for convenient

4:49

light. I want to

4:52

talk about for a moment purpose because I

4:54

feel like right now we're seeing a lot

4:56

of people with scattered

4:58

purposes. I'm seeing so many big

5:00

influencers go through divorce who are

5:02

publicly had great relationships. I'm seeing

5:05

people's businesses go under. I'm seeing

5:07

people scattered with their purpose and

5:09

unclear. Right. Let's speak to this

5:11

because I think it's two different

5:13

questions. One is how to truly

5:16

figure out what your purpose is

5:18

because I think it's seasonal. You

5:20

know what your purpose was when you were

5:22

10 is different. I agree. You think I

5:24

know what my purpose is like

5:26

I know I'm meant to go do this thing.

5:29

I think I think I'm supposed to go after

5:31

this. I feel like maybe I should try this

5:33

thing but I'm afraid. How do you how would

5:35

you coach someone who knows what they're supposed to

5:37

do or at least they think they do until

5:39

they figure it out and it's not it or

5:41

it is it. One of the first things I

5:44

do is I ask them to please

5:46

let's quantify and give life to

5:48

what does it cost you to

5:50

stay sealed. So number one I

5:53

would say what did it cost you. I use this

5:55

metaphor that if you went to the store and

5:57

bought a dozen eggs and you went home and you

5:59

scrambled. all the eggs and you cook the eggs and then you

6:01

took the empty cart back to the grocery store you

6:03

thought I'd like to buy these again. The cashier

6:06

was gonna put you already bought them. Why are you

6:08

buying it? Why are you paying for it again? That's

6:11

what we're doing. We're paying for the same

6:13

behavior over and over again and so one

6:15

get clear that your PIF, that

6:18

your pain is full for not being

6:20

an action. Number two is let's talk

6:22

about everything that happens if you fail.

6:25

Let's just unpack that. You go back to

6:27

where you're at now. Yeah, yo. Actually, you

6:29

never about to where you are now because

6:31

now you got... Okay, so what's the

6:33

difference between now and the next time you

6:36

fail, you're raising yourself up to the experience

6:38

of what happens when you fail. Okay, so

6:40

one lesson's coming from our best. So one

6:42

lesson leads and if we fail, let's fail

6:44

forward. So then let's define what the spelling

6:46

forward looks like. So then we get very

6:48

descriptive on what the spelling form looks like.

6:51

What will I do with the lesson? I'll

6:53

document four to six things and I'll get

6:55

right. And I'll document two to three things

6:57

that I can improve upon and I'll implement

6:59

them all on the next go around. So

7:01

then we take out all the possibility and

7:03

I didn't go as far as saying, so

7:05

what if people judge you? I'll

7:07

unpack it. What if people judge

7:10

you? You say they talk really

7:12

bad about you on social media for like

7:14

a three days. Like it goes a while. What

7:17

then what happens? Well, on the

7:19

sixth day I get up and do it again. We just denied

7:22

you the darkness of your illusions. You denied

7:24

you the darkness of your mind. I'm going,

7:26

what? Okay. Well, I'll lose this money.

7:28

Okay, you lost how much? 40,000.

7:30

Okay, all 40,000 lost and now what?

7:32

I don't know. Okay, well, let's figure out

7:35

a plan because you already lost some money. You lost some money.

7:37

Let's put... I'm not going to do

7:39

anything again. I can do it all again. So

7:41

that's why we all these big possibilities

7:44

are now just situations. Then I

7:46

go to... So what can we do

7:49

to eliminate the possibility of that

7:51

occurring? So now we go into strategy.

7:53

So I'm real big on strategy. I'm real big

7:55

on milestones. I believe that you should not set

7:57

a macro goal without setting... several

8:00

micro goals. A lot of

8:02

times entrepreneurs set like big vaudacious

8:05

goals and you have a release of endorphins

8:07

when you first set it but then it goes away

8:10

because you don't even know how you're gonna

8:12

get there and so I'm real big on

8:14

three things a strategy, milestone,

8:17

and accountability. Thank

8:29

you so much for listening to today's

8:31

episode of The Daily Motivation and I

8:34

hope you have an amazing rest of

8:36

your day. If you enjoyed this episode,

8:38

make sure to click the link in

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8:42

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9:22

with another episode of The

9:24

Daily Motivation Show. If

9:43

I ask for help, they'll just think

9:45

I'm weak. you