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1:11

Hello there and welcome to the show.

1:13

I'm Stuart Goldsmith. Today, I'm speaking to

1:16

Dai Henwood. And Dai is a...

1:18

I mean, you'll know him. If you're a Kiwi,

1:21

you will know him and love him. He's

1:23

enormously famous in New Zealand. I don't

1:25

know that his fame

1:28

extends to the UK. So if you're

1:30

listening here, then I hope

1:32

this is a really fun introduction,

1:34

which is also, I dare

1:37

say, an incredibly uplifting episode. I

1:39

love this because as well as

1:42

Dai being a regular fixture on

1:44

television screens across New Zealand, in

1:47

topical comedy panel shows, Seven Days. Have you

1:49

been paying attention? He's been on Taskmaster there

1:51

as well as hosting Dancing with the Stars

1:53

Family Feud and Lego Masters New Zealand, which

1:55

isn't a thing that I knew existed. But

1:58

as well as telling us all... about those

2:00

he's also going to enlighten

2:02

us as to his journey

2:04

through being diagnosed with stage

2:06

4 bowel cancer. He

2:09

is one of the country's most accomplished

2:11

stand-ups, he's won countless awards and scored

2:14

international success as well and

2:16

we are going to talk about Dai's

2:18

bowel cancer diagnosis and we'll

2:21

also cover the expectation that comes of

2:23

being a TV comic and his

2:26

struggles at the Edinburgh Festival and

2:28

all the sorts of things that a comedy

2:30

life would encounter and that crop up

2:32

on this podcast numerous

2:34

times. We'll get Dai's unique and

2:36

wonderful outlook on all of those

2:39

things. But I found Dai's attitude

2:42

towards his cancer diagnosis and where he's

2:44

at at the moment enormously

2:46

inspiring, enormously uplifting. He

2:48

is radiating peace through

2:50

the emails that we

2:52

communicated before the recording

2:56

and on the recording itself. He

2:58

is such a tonic to talk to.

3:01

A quick reminder you can join the

3:03

Insiders Club at patreon.com/comcompod. You can watch

3:05

the full episode which is worth doing.

3:08

It's lovely to see Dai's twinkly eyes

3:10

and sparkling face, I've said it. And

3:13

you also get access to an additional

3:15

10 minutes of extras with Dai including

3:17

what makes a good stand-up, he talks

3:19

about meditation a little further and the

3:21

importance of identifying your skill set. Only

3:24

10 minutes of extras and that was

3:26

so hard to carve out from this

3:28

episode because I wanted you all to

3:30

have the entire thing and evil producer

3:32

Callum made me cut some extras out.

3:34

Does that throw you under the bus

3:36

too hard? I think people will take

3:38

it in fun. Please leave that in,

3:40

evil producer Callum. So I

3:43

hope you will enjoy it as

3:45

much as I did. I'm just smiling

3:47

remembering it right now, this

3:49

interview with the brilliant Dai. Let's

3:57

begin with the elephant in the room, you've shaved your

3:59

beard. So

4:03

in 12 years I've never shaved

4:06

my beard and I've actually

4:08

never had a buzzcut as well and

4:11

on two days ago I

4:13

just thought I'd see what

4:16

was under the beard and no

4:18

one except my mother enjoys

4:20

it. My mother thinks I

4:23

look more professional

4:26

however my kids and my

4:28

wife are not a fan.

4:31

That is a huge... I remember

4:33

my dad shaving his beard as a kid and

4:35

that rocked me and one of the things that

4:37

rocks me is I like we last saw each

4:39

other I think it must be 2018 was

4:43

it world buskers at Christchurch? Yes

4:45

I was just trying to think about that as well

4:47

it was 2018. Yeah and

4:50

so you look more like you did

4:52

then now than you have done recently

4:54

because I've been watching some of your

4:56

clips online and the bits and bobs

4:58

and you I'm like who is this

5:00

sage like white bearded man atop a

5:02

hill radiating peace to all and sundry

5:04

and I was thinking here he is

5:06

turn up you just look like you

5:08

used to look. So

5:12

my son's actually got a sticker

5:14

on as a cabinet in his

5:16

room of a show I did

5:18

in 2004 called The Hot Stepper

5:20

where I was like still massively leaning

5:23

into late 90s character comedy and

5:27

I shaved off my beard and I had a

5:29

sort of blonde wig and we're looking at it

5:31

this morning and I look identical to

5:35

22 years ago so in some ways I'm

5:37

just whining back the clock. That's wonderful this

5:39

is I think this is what should happen

5:41

to all character comedians is that they eventually

5:43

become their character. Let's talk

5:46

about let's we're gonna do the we're gonna

5:48

do the whole lot we're gonna do the

5:50

life story you sent me which I love

5:52

when guests do this you kind of sent

5:54

me bullet points of things to talk about

5:56

which is like oh we can trip lightly

5:58

between those things But shall we. Start

6:00

off with where you are at the moment

6:02

because I I am. I. Saw

6:04

or I saw notes for an interview that

6:06

you had done in January I think I

6:08

suspect. So I got your email literally roundabout

6:10

kind of way and it very much later

6:13

discovered it's just there on your Instagram. he

6:15

over for five minutes the of instagram area

6:17

and them. And. I realized in

6:19

in your post about your cancer you said

6:21

I'm not going to do any interviews and

6:23

I suddenly was mortified. I was like oh

6:25

god guy over not put you through anything

6:28

here. So let's start off with your current

6:30

situation and then we'll turn back the clock

6:32

to the the comedy career and how you

6:34

go here. Is so that

6:36

like I'm not gonna do a net.

6:38

Any interviews came from an interview I

6:41

did am. A. Year ago

6:43

when I sorta went public with

6:45

my diagnosis I I got diagnosed

6:47

with stage four bowel cancer and

6:50

twenty twenty, I'm an April so

6:52

very shortly after all a sort

6:55

of shenanigans had had kicked in

6:57

and I am Obe was a

6:59

weird time in New Zealand at

7:02

was when. Everyone.

7:05

It. Was before there was any controversy around

7:07

vaccines and or lead so to carry

7:09

on a was just wow. We're all

7:12

on the same but everyone's I like.

7:14

I live in a pretty loose part

7:16

of Oakland with his I'm beautiful cafes

7:18

and a few made this is so

7:20

we have a an interesting group of

7:22

people less with they would and know

7:24

what was happening with covered There were

7:26

people at the supermarket wearing full width

7:28

suits with snow. Ah thanks yeah I'm

7:31

totally ruins if we hung out in

7:33

every direction. Like Doug come near me,

7:35

Pull Myrtles. Yeah right. Oh yes, table just

7:37

gone wild said. But then I was dealing

7:39

with this whole other thing. I had no

7:42

cancer, my family. I.

7:45

Been experiencing symptoms and have

7:47

been sort of misdiagnosed. two

7:49

thousand and seventeen. Ah A

7:51

because I didn't set that

7:53

bell curve of. Bow.

7:55

Concern us to young and all that

7:58

and I'm been are when and. It

8:00

sorta had a colonoscopy acres things

8:02

were getting a bit a bad,

8:04

am was bleeding and so forth

8:06

and year they were like. You've.

8:09

Got a huge tumor in your bow and then

8:11

I found out of move to the Love up.

8:14

And the in over the

8:16

last three years of head

8:19

half my liver removed, half

8:21

my bow removed. Ah. Of

8:24

had three long surgeries and then they

8:26

sort of found out. Ah, occur

8:28

at the middle of last year that

8:30

it was them that middle of the

8:32

year before sorry that it was sort

8:35

of and durable and. Oh.

8:37

What they describe as an incurable I

8:39

am sort of of same belief of

8:42

them. Everything. With

8:44

or be Science and Medicine as

8:46

probability so I I I, I

8:48

can beat this. I'm optimistic, but

8:50

I'm also realistic and I was

8:52

in a really. Weird.

8:55

Point of. Doing.

8:58

Comedy. Like for instance, when I

9:00

was diagnosed we just got funding

9:03

to do a lot down comedy

9:05

show called Dies House Party where

9:07

she handled the I, I was

9:09

sort of stringing it together and

9:12

we had a whole or some

9:14

group of comments like You Rose

9:16

Manifesto, Chris Park and sort of

9:18

some New Zealand Heavy Weights for

9:20

the Poor league. I've been hurley

9:23

only people who were doing remote

9:25

sketches. Cinedigm. Than

9:27

men. And. We were cooking them

9:29

together. The in I was sort of

9:31

Canada monologue and. Bits. And

9:34

Bobs to tie the sketches

9:36

together and. Are we

9:38

just got funding for that? I

9:41

was. My son was a cameraman,

9:43

my arm daughter was playing the

9:45

piano who was five and some

9:47

sort of Paul Shaffer situation like

9:49

the out Later months and I'm.

9:52

I. thought this was going to be the

9:54

worse than won't wanna deal with it at

9:56

diagnosis and figuring out what came a therapy

9:58

is in orlando but it became

10:00

a blessing but

10:03

then comedy for me got to a point where

10:05

I hadn't addressed the elephant in the room and

10:08

I was trying to just be old stand-up

10:11

worky guy and I've always

10:13

been quite an authentic person.

10:16

I was just finding this

10:18

massive juxtaposition between my

10:21

material and where I was at a point

10:23

in my life. Not that I wanted to

10:25

do a show about cancer but I

10:28

just couldn't address it so then

10:30

I decided after it was sort

10:33

of incurable, what

10:35

they describe as incurable, I would lean

10:39

into being

10:41

open about it, living my life, doing

10:43

comedy and I sort of pulled the

10:45

trigger on that and

10:47

the gig after I had done a

10:50

full public interview, an

10:52

hour-long interview that's on YouTube about

10:54

my diagnosis and

10:56

my sort of philosophies on life and

10:58

then I went, I've got to

11:00

get on stage because this is going to freak me out

11:03

so I booked it like a just a little open mic

11:05

spot at the classic

11:07

comedy bar in Auckland and went on

11:09

and it was so weird finding the

11:11

gear change from, hey I've

11:14

got cancer but I'm

11:16

actually feeling quite good and this is what I

11:18

love doing so let's get into it and

11:22

getting that gear change right and

11:25

it took me a couple of gigs to do

11:27

that and it

11:29

sort of became

11:31

this, okay how do you get

11:33

in and out of it and then I was like, oh

11:36

the medicinal marijuana

11:38

has become legal over

11:40

here, it's actually been a huge

11:43

part of my cancer

11:45

treatment and getting rid of

11:47

stuff and then I

11:49

realised I had a few good lines about that

11:51

and then it was that nice little thing of

11:56

almost, you know, get out heaviness

11:58

then, oh a couple of sort of

12:00

cheap weed jokes. And then, oh, sweet,

12:02

we're just doing comedy. Right, we're into

12:04

that. Oh my God. That sort of

12:06

thing. So it was nice actually, the

12:09

hardest part was finding the thread

12:11

line because the word

12:13

cancer has so much

12:15

baggage around it. And

12:20

comedically, I am

12:22

very careful about where I tread with that.

12:24

Cause although I'm a comic,

12:28

all my mates are comics. We

12:31

say some pretty horrific jokes around

12:33

cancer, which I find funny and

12:36

that sort of harshness, but I'm

12:38

very aware that now I've been public

12:41

with my journey. A

12:43

lot of people come along who are either

12:46

going through it or have friends and family

12:48

who are going through it. And I don't

12:50

want to smack them in the face

12:52

with something like that. So any of

12:54

my sort of material around cancer sort

12:56

of relates more to my

12:59

experiences with MRIs, CTs and surgeries

13:01

and more the silliness that goes

13:04

along with it. My whole philosophy

13:06

is also I want to show

13:10

people it doesn't matter what you're going

13:12

through, just get

13:14

out and do what you love.

13:16

And now I've had the best

13:18

shows of my life, of

13:21

my like 26 year career

13:24

over the last year and it culminated with

13:26

a show I did last year in Wellington,

13:29

where I sold out the State Opera House, which is

13:33

this beautiful old venue.

13:35

It was the first place I went after I

13:37

was born cause my dad was an actor and

13:39

he was in a show and

13:41

my mum took me to the State Opera

13:44

House and the actors who weren't on stage

13:46

looked after me while he

13:48

was on stage. So then it came

13:50

full circle to me doing a show

13:52

there. I

13:56

had a lot of audience who obviously like...

14:00

there to support me. But then

14:02

the beautiful thing about stand-up is,

14:05

it doesn't matter if you're famous on TV,

14:07

it doesn't matter if the people

14:09

are supporting you through a hard journey, that

14:11

only buys you a few minutes. Then you

14:14

better... One day there'll be enough, this will

14:16

have happened enough times to enough millions and

14:18

millions of comics will have actual data on

14:20

how long fame buys you and how long

14:22

stage four cancer buys you before they're like,

14:25

where's the gags mate? Oh,

14:27

completely. And the beautiful thing was I

14:30

finished this show and I had the

14:32

most emotional round

14:34

of applause from sort of three tiers

14:37

of the theatre. And it

14:39

was a mixture of like, good

14:45

on you, we're there for you and what a

14:48

show. And I walked off, I

14:50

was the most proud of the show

14:52

I have been in my life because

14:55

when I'm warming up for a show like that,

14:57

I go through all the gigs I can find

15:00

and I tick off all the easy

15:02

ones and then I only do the

15:05

hard ones and there's some really hard

15:07

rural gigs. And it was

15:09

so awesome going from that sort of 30 people

15:13

in a rural bar in

15:15

New Zealand. Oh, running with

15:17

lead weights kind of stuff,

15:19

right? Yeah, where maybe

15:21

the sort of philosophy

15:24

I hold doesn't hold with

15:27

them. They're politically different but

15:29

I'm going, well, this gear

15:31

still works. And then getting

15:34

out onto a stage where

15:36

everyone's there for you. And

15:40

I had another comedian, Justine Smith,

15:42

with me. Oh, I love that.

15:44

Yeah. She was the best man

15:46

at my wedding. She's been a best friend

15:48

and Samantha Hanna, who's a real

15:50

nice up and coming comic

15:52

in New Zealand. She's a

15:57

Scots person who moved over here. they

16:00

were just like wow this room they're

16:03

a nice they're a nice crowd like they

16:05

were just there and they

16:08

were a comedy crowd but they were

16:10

they were just there for a

16:12

good vibe and i was super proud of

16:14

that and then i um actually start i'm

16:17

back into it tonight um back into

16:20

doing some comedy while i'm still doing

16:22

chemotherapy so it's all all pretty full

16:25

on. Oh my god Dave! But

16:27

it's all pretty full on under

16:30

statement of the year. Where

16:32

do we where do we begin with this? I

16:35

think that someone got in touch with me i

16:37

think i knew when you went public with the

16:40

diagnosis i found out and there were a couple

16:42

of messages back and forth i was messaging uh

16:44

Acaster and and kind of go oh my god

16:46

i could you know like it's just for us obviously a

16:48

bolt from the blue for you to have

16:50

that diagnosis like the compounded like

16:52

oh and by the way it's

16:54

a global lockdown oh and

16:57

by the way you're doing a show at

16:59

home let's let's start with that because that

17:01

idea of i

17:03

love the idea that you would find just

17:06

like um energy and support

17:08

in doing a show in your house

17:11

rather than like i'm rocked with this

17:13

news what the hell do i do

17:15

pull the show you go

17:17

ahead with it and you discover that

17:19

i mean who wouldn't want their five-year-old

17:21

daughter playing the drums in a sort

17:23

of house party version of their life

17:26

and family when they've just just

17:28

talked to me a little bit about that about

17:30

the experience of because i suppose what we're talking

17:32

about here is facing this

17:34

news facing earth shattering live shattering news

17:37

and yet still creating still doing the

17:39

thing that you want to do and

17:41

i suppose i was saying this to

17:43

someone in a totally unrelated interview earlier

17:46

today about how i

17:48

and i imagine the vast majority of comics

17:51

are what we do what we do

17:53

professionally because we're trying to answer the

17:55

question what would i do if i

17:57

could do anything that's the that's the

18:00

thing for me is doing stand-up. I'm sure it's the

18:02

same for you. So when

18:04

suddenly the chips are down or whatever the

18:06

phrase is, once it's like, okay well how

18:08

long do you have left? However long you

18:10

have left, what are you going to do

18:12

with it? How joyful

18:14

to be able to answer that

18:16

question with exactly what I was

18:18

doing anyway. I 100% agree

18:22

with that and cancer

18:25

has actually been an amazing teacher

18:27

for me within half a day

18:29

of my diagnosis. It had crystallized

18:32

what was important to me and

18:35

what was important

18:37

to me was

18:41

the sort of three things to

18:44

sound like a cheesy Julia Roberts

18:46

movie was peace, love and laughter

18:48

and I found

18:50

peacefulness through sort of, I'm

18:53

allergic to organised religions but

18:55

I sort of found peacefulness

18:58

through spirituality, love how

19:00

it's through my family and friends and

19:03

laughter. I just realised that comedy is

19:06

so important to me

19:08

and it also then crystallised

19:10

down what sort of comedy do

19:13

I want to do. You

19:15

know I'd sort of then pulled back from

19:18

a few corporate gigs and that that I

19:20

was finding a bit soul

19:22

destroying because they

19:25

wanted the comedy club experience

19:27

without having the comedy club

19:30

experience so I'm sure

19:32

a lot of comedians relate to doing

19:34

those gigs and that you actually realise

19:36

well if I leave a bit of money

19:38

on the table I can be so

19:41

much happier and richer artistically

19:45

and I can

19:48

talk about the sort of admin behind

19:50

doing TV shows. I can remember I

19:52

hadn't told my agent or

19:54

the producer of this lockdown

19:56

show and we're on a

20:00

group call like they're

20:03

arguing over like 200 bucks or

20:05

something, $300 for a thing and then I just

20:09

remember going who fucking cares

20:11

man I've got stage four

20:13

cancer that's

20:18

how to that's how to shut that's

20:21

how to go wild card in

20:23

a negotiation oh I

20:26

got the extra 300 bucks by the way oh

20:28

yeah lovely Diane

20:30

with the negotiation tips from the top

20:32

okay yeah and just go

20:35

next level and then that

20:37

opened up and but what that crystallized

20:39

for me was

20:41

then it was just like it

20:43

bought the real humanity out

20:45

and everyone and my agent the producer

20:47

both people who I've known and worked

20:50

with for years and that

20:52

thing of going wow nothing

20:55

actually does matter except for good

20:57

personal relationships and we ended up

21:00

finishing that call wonderfully agreeing how

21:02

we'd move forward and make the

21:04

show yet because I was

21:06

doing at the time a

21:08

very intense type

21:11

of chemotherapy that gives you neuropathy so

21:14

I had to wear gloves to get

21:16

anything out of the fridge or you

21:18

sort of get electric shocks drinking

21:21

cold water feels like sandpaper

21:25

and so I was doing this every

21:27

second week and then I'd

21:29

sort of I'd come right

21:31

to film stuff over the weekend and the

21:34

following week and I'd be trying to bank

21:36

stuff but then people were sending sketches in

21:38

that I had to relate to so it

21:41

was a great way of taking my mind off it but

21:43

it was also it then

21:45

got to the point that

21:48

it was so hard because the

21:51

the chemotherapy was very debilitating but

21:53

now when I look back

21:55

on it I'm so stoked that I

21:57

I did it and it gave me a focus and

22:02

a mental point to concentrate

22:04

on that wasn't just doing

22:06

treatment. Yeah. And you

22:08

said, and specifically the nature of that

22:10

show, the fact that your family

22:12

are in the show. And so

22:14

you're kind of like, like, what

22:16

if you found out you had five

22:19

days left? I'd like to do a

22:21

show with my kids, please. I mean,

22:23

that was combined. Talk about crystallizing. There we go.

22:25

That's all of my favorite things. I'll do a

22:28

show with my kids. That'll

22:30

be perfect. You know, so those

22:32

kind of what

22:34

an incredible experience. And

22:37

there was someone who actually the first

22:39

person from whom I heard about your

22:41

diagnosis is a brilliant artist, a

22:43

painter in New Zealand, Jenny Strangelman, who was

22:46

a fan of the podcast, who's become a friend. Oh, yeah. And

22:49

yeah, she's brilliant. And she said, hey, listen,

22:51

she knew that I'm going to work with

22:53

you and we knew each other. And she

22:55

said, I don't know if you've heard. Dye's

22:58

got cancer. And I think she said something

23:00

like, and he's dealing with it the best

23:02

I've ever seen anyone deal with it. And

23:04

she is not to get into her health history,

23:06

but she's got a bit of experience of going

23:08

through some stuff as well. And I

23:11

think that you – I think probably you are one

23:13

of the people that was kind of

23:15

very important to her or is very important to her. I

23:18

have a question from her, an audience question coming up

23:20

later on. But

23:23

let's talk about that in terms of that

23:25

idea of – and

23:27

let's see it in terms of your public persona,

23:29

because I know you're a private person. When

23:32

you and I walked down the street in Christchurch all the way

23:34

from that gig, you know, we were doing like a sports bar,

23:36

a nightclub gig or something. We were doing like

23:39

a sports bar and a casino. It was

23:41

something like your ideal spot. It was a weird

23:43

kind of a gig, but not without its jobs.

23:47

And you and I went out to get chips or something. You

23:49

happened to be walking down the street. And

23:51

I got a sense of that wonderful thing that

23:53

happens when you're gigging in someone else's country on

23:56

someone else's territory, and you suddenly go, Dye, are

23:58

you incredibly famous? Everyone,

24:00

you know what I mean? Like you can't walk

24:02

down the street without people coming over trying to

24:04

pick you up Oh, but you know what I

24:06

mean? All this kind of like yeah the the

24:09

way in which you relate to your audience The

24:11

public face the public die. Edward is So

24:14

I mean I watched that one of those shows that you

24:16

sent me which is I'm just a Kiwi trying to have

24:18

a good time And that the

24:20

way in which your personality relates

24:23

to the public is

24:25

so magical And do you

24:27

mean it's it's like I'm not even I'm not

24:29

certain what the question is, but it's something about

24:32

the way in which you

24:35

must feel there must

24:37

be some element to your personality which feels

24:39

so at home and so

24:41

supported by people around you in

24:44

a gigging kind of a context like Let's

24:47

maybe just talk about that a little bit about

24:49

your first experience is gigging and when you first

24:51

discovered That people and I don't

24:53

mean to suggest it hasn't been hard being a

24:55

comic But I feel like you're someone people just

24:57

fall over themselves to like and appreciate Well,

25:01

thank you so much. That was such a long thing

25:06

So sort of two two points I'll

25:09

talk about is that sort of that

25:11

that weird rise of fame

25:13

in New Zealand, but first I'd just like

25:15

to touch on how actually dealing with Cancer

25:19

and how people have have said well you're dealing

25:21

with it. So well. I love your sort of

25:24

public face of It

25:26

so much of that Has

25:28

had to do with the trials. I

25:30

went through in comedy and

25:33

how I dealt with those and I I

25:38

I got relative early success in New

25:42

Zealand I started doing comedy in 1997 It

25:45

really wasn't a cool thing to be doing

25:47

in New Zealand It

25:50

was quite a struggle. There weren't many of us.

25:52

So I got some screen time Early

25:55

I sort of made the most of it and

25:57

then I thought I'd get New

26:00

Zealand's easy, I'll get into Melbourne and Edinburgh.

26:03

I went to Melbourne, struggled

26:07

my arse off, had some venue issues,

26:10

ended up in the

26:12

middle of nowhere, then came over to Edinburgh.

26:14

I was being produced by a

26:16

wonderful guy called Guy Masterson. He,

26:21

back in the day, sort of did your 12

26:23

Angry Men shows, and that was where they had

26:25

comics acting at the assembly rooms. But

26:28

he put me into the assembly rooms with a

26:30

show that was very not

26:33

at the time an assembly room's show.

26:36

And I had an opening night that

26:38

was sort of papered. It

26:40

was 120 seater. It

26:43

was full. I had a standing ovation.

26:45

I thought, boom, it's on. The

26:48

next night I had 32 people, and

26:51

30 of them walked out after

26:54

15 minutes because they'd just

26:56

been dragged in from the bar. Okay.

26:59

The two people left were a friend

27:01

of the tech, and the 60-year-old guy

27:03

went, did your mum

27:05

go to school in Taranaki? And

27:07

I went, yep, he went, I thought so.

27:09

And then he left. And

27:12

then it was just

27:14

a struggle, as any

27:17

comic who's done Edinburgh with

27:19

no profile will know. It's

27:22

a struggle of good shows with no

27:24

people there, bad shows with a lot

27:26

of people there, ups

27:28

and downs. At the time

27:31

I was living with the Flight of the Conchords. I'd

27:34

known Brett since I

27:37

was five, and I

27:39

came through from the Wellington scene. So

27:42

with your Conchords and Taika and those

27:44

sort of comics. And

27:47

so I was living with them. They'd just

27:49

got their BBC show, and they were on

27:51

the hockey stick-ups. Yeah. They

27:54

were full, but mainly with comics.

27:56

This is when they were the comics,

27:59

comics. It was like everyone finished

28:01

their show, you get

28:03

to the gilded balloon, you watch the

28:06

concords, they're going to be huge. So

28:08

they were riding this huge wave and I was

28:11

just having a very

28:14

fun but very tumultuous Edinburgh and

28:16

I left there going, oh what

28:18

am I doing with my life?

28:20

I'm doing this sort of character

28:22

comedy that feels

28:24

a bit outdated to me, it's not really

28:26

working. I'm still finding it quite funny though.

28:30

And then having to deal with that and

28:32

decide I want to do comedy and commit

28:34

to it and face the adversity, going through

28:36

that and then rebuilding

28:38

my career with just being

28:41

a stand-up who was myself on stage,

28:45

that gave me the strength, I

28:47

suppose the strength to just carry on. And

28:51

with the cancer diagnosis, having

28:53

that internal strength of knowing I'd

28:56

faced adversity, I'd

28:58

gone down a different path and I

29:01

had made it work, helped

29:03

me so much. And so I did

29:05

return, I started doing stand-up,

29:08

I went back to Edinburgh but

29:10

just doing line-up shows here

29:12

and there, a few

29:15

paid gigs which I

29:17

had nothing on the line, I was seeing friends,

29:21

I'd made this wonderful community

29:25

being a New Zealand comic when we had,

29:27

I sort of very early on became

29:32

friends with Phil Nichol, Glenn

29:34

Will, Daniel Kitson, Andrew

29:36

Maxwell, all these people that were coming

29:38

through New Zealand. And that

29:41

land, I'd pick them up from the airport, we'd

29:43

go out to my place at the beach and

29:45

hang out. And

29:47

so they were very embracing of me over there, we

29:49

all were, so I had a

29:51

great time in Edinburgh going back and

29:54

then when I came back to New Zealand, I'd

29:56

really honed my chops. I

29:59

got on to the beach. TV and

30:02

I went to Christchurch where we gig

30:04

together was the first time I realised

30:06

I was famous. We were down there,

30:08

I was walking along

30:11

to a gig, it

30:13

was a pub gig and

30:16

that fitted about a hundred people but there

30:18

was a queue right around the block and

30:21

I was sort of walking up and

30:23

then they all started yelling for me and I was like

30:26

shit these people are here to see

30:28

me and then

30:30

being a buskers festival we then went

30:33

into the green room and

30:35

had a really punishing argument about how the

30:38

bucket was going to be split because there

30:40

were a few double ax on and

30:42

so we're in the green room over there

30:45

because we had you know

30:47

it should be split six ways

30:49

but two of your double ax

30:51

way would have been split. So

30:53

it was like okay now I'm

30:55

just back into the standard green

30:57

room. Yes perfect that's so great

30:59

to know that that was happening

31:01

a million years ago as well.

31:04

I wasn't gonna pull in hey because

31:07

they're all here for me should I get

31:10

located? And

31:12

then I just had this amazing

31:14

run where I

31:17

had that mix of my stand up was

31:19

good people were there to

31:21

see me and

31:24

I just loved it and it's

31:26

interesting I've done a bit of comedy

31:29

with people who've got famous on TV

31:31

but they aren't stand-ups or

31:34

haven't come from a stand-up

31:36

background and then they

31:38

hate being on stage because

31:40

they realize how brutal

31:43

it can be and how you've

31:46

got to be slick you've got to you've

31:49

got to have your gear they

31:51

think and just sort of riff

31:54

and then it ends up I did a gig with

31:57

a person who just ended up

31:59

just bringing people onto the stage

32:01

to do selfies. Then

32:03

when I went

32:06

out and actually had sort of, people

32:09

knew me for being funny on TV,

32:12

and I

32:14

did a show called Insert Video Here at that

32:16

time which was I sort of would do interviews

32:19

with people on the street and

32:22

then cut to music videos. And

32:25

then they'd come along and see me

32:27

from that and not realise I had eight

32:29

years of stand up behind me. And

32:33

then I'd go out and do a 20 minute set

32:36

of just my tighter stuff and it

32:38

would kill. And I'm like,

32:40

oh wow, he's... It's like

32:42

suddenly being able to play the tuba or

32:45

something. Yeah. You could... what, what, what? Well

32:47

you have to do... What? Oh

32:50

no, I've been doing shocking gigs

32:52

for years. No, that

32:54

was amazing. When

32:59

you were bombing an editor or having a horrible

33:01

time at Edinburgh, doing well to no one, that

33:03

kind of experience. And you talked about that kind

33:05

of like that core of learning

33:07

to rely on yourself and that

33:09

becoming so much useful later on. So

33:12

much more useful. Do you

33:14

remember particular ways of thinking about it,

33:16

particular things you would say to yourself

33:18

when you had a tough time, when

33:20

you were kind of learning that? Because

33:22

I think in comedy we talk a

33:25

lot about the hard yards

33:27

and how tough it can be. And

33:29

we sort of take for granted the

33:32

ways in which we physically coped at

33:34

the time, that we mentally coped at

33:36

the time. Do you remember any of

33:38

the things

33:40

anyone said to you or things you

33:42

thought to yourself that got you over

33:45

the hump of those tougher gigs? The

33:49

one thing that I'm still thinking

33:51

about to this day is

33:55

why am I still doing comedy? Because

33:58

I went through a year of... of a lost

34:02

or lost slash invested $40,000

34:05

in my life which

34:07

I didn't have at the time. My mum sort of

34:09

gave me a bit. I went into debt doing

34:12

fundraising shows and I was

34:14

having this nightmare in

34:16

Edinburgh where you literally would go, why

34:19

am I doing this? And

34:22

it's the

34:24

beauty about something that you do because

34:27

you love. There's just this little inner

34:29

fire that's burning like the flames might

34:31

have gone down but the coals were

34:33

still there and they were still hot

34:35

so I still had the passion for

34:38

it. And the

34:40

blessing of

34:42

living with the concords was they

34:46

were having this great success and Brett, I

34:48

can actually remember I'd had a sort

34:51

of particularly big

34:53

night out celebrating where I sort of moor

34:55

along the lines of hey well the show's

34:57

not going well I may as well have

34:59

some fun with my mates who are over

35:01

here and see good comedy. So sort of

35:03

in that hungover state and

35:05

sitting on the side of the bed and Brett just came

35:07

in and I was like man I can't sort

35:09

of do this and he

35:12

just gave me that remember why

35:16

you're doing this. Remember there's this

35:19

tiny little room called Indigo in

35:21

Wellington that's now called Sam Fran

35:24

where we all started and it's just

35:26

remember why you get on stage

35:29

there for seven minutes

35:31

for no money and over

35:33

and over again. And then

35:36

I just realised yeah I love comedy.

35:38

I want to do comedy. I'll

35:41

just keep going and then

35:46

that thing of the failure became

35:49

the best thing for me because it jolted me out

35:51

of a bit of a rut I was in. Growing

35:54

up in a family where

35:57

my dad was an actor I sort of looked

35:59

at comedy very much, I

36:02

suppose, as a performer which

36:05

led into the character style

36:07

stuff, even though my biggest,

36:09

my sort of earliest

36:11

two influences were Robin

36:13

Williams and Eddie Murphy,

36:15

and even though

36:18

they were just straight comics, both of them

36:20

were very character based in

36:22

a way. And

36:25

then when I came back and it forced me just

36:27

to jolt out and be myself. Do

36:32

you think that you had, because your dad was

36:34

an actor, you'd ended up feeling like oh the

36:36

way, the language that I know about how to

36:38

perform is to be a character, is that what

36:40

you mean? Yes, like

36:42

when you go on stage you

36:45

are someone else, you sort of

36:47

put your mask on, and

36:49

then once I clicked that actually

36:51

everyone in stand up as a

36:54

character, you're just an inflated,

36:57

highlighted version of yourself.

37:00

You sort of accentuate

37:02

your idiosyncrasies.

37:05

You know, like for me, I'm someone,

37:09

not in a Larry David way,

37:11

but little things annoy me, like

37:13

for instance, Ramekin's really annoy me.

37:16

And then I was like, you

37:18

know, wouldn't I just see what

37:20

happens if I go out and rant about

37:22

Ramekin's? dot

38:00

com slash closer to get started.

38:05

So this is Die. Coming up in

38:07

the second half we're going to delve

38:09

into green rooms, finding peace through comedy,

38:11

we'll talk about connecting with audiences and

38:13

I should say you can pre-order Die's

38:15

memoir The Life of Die coming

38:18

out in June this year. You can also

38:20

see him live in Auckland and Christchurch with

38:22

his show Die Hard. He really has got

38:24

the absolute most out of his name being

38:26

Die. So you

38:29

can find out all

38:31

of that and more

38:33

at linktree.com/Diehenwood d-a-i-henwood and

38:35

you can keep up to date with him on

38:37

instagram at Die... Instagram? Why would anyone say

38:39

that? You can keep up to date with

38:41

him on instagram at Die underscore Henwood. More

38:44

from Die in just a second and

38:46

a quick plug from me, Redacted has sold out,

38:49

that's at the McCumsleth Comedy Festival this very weekend.

38:51

Spoilers still has a few tickets left, it's on

38:53

Saturday the 4th of May at 8pm and

38:56

Wells, spoilers, is also going to Wells Comedy

38:58

Festival and that's very nearly sold out, there's

39:00

like six left so jump in there if

39:02

you can. All the details you need via

39:05

stewartgullsmith.com and press various buttons until you get what

39:07

you want. I've got a D, I've got a D

39:09

duplicate, haven't I? God I probably talked about that six

39:11

months ago, I've still not got around to it. I

39:13

have to D duplicate so there's a one place for

39:15

everything. Do you know these days you don't need a

39:19

website, you just need a linktree don't you?

39:21

Well I've got both and it's not helpful.

39:23

A quick reminder as well that the Insiders

39:25

Club has moved to Patreon, you get full

39:27

video episode, extra content in video as well

39:29

as audio including that extra 10 minutes with

39:31

Die, exclusive guest announcements, opportunities to ask people

39:33

things and a monthly stew and a, the

39:36

first live zoom one of which I'm recording tonight

39:38

after some pre-records, that should be lots of fun

39:40

and I look forward to, I look

39:42

backward to having seen you there because this will

39:44

come out after it happens. All right, back

39:47

to Die Henwood. If

39:53

the, if the byline of this episode

39:55

is how to, how to radiate peace,

39:57

love and laughter in the face of

39:59

it. you know, what must

40:01

be a really frightening diagnosis, frightening

40:04

life situation, then like what

40:06

tools do you need, the support

40:08

of your family, love from people

40:10

around you, a

40:12

background in Eastern philosophy and

40:15

meditation and the ability that

40:17

recognizing the joy of

40:20

comedy thriving in difficult situations,

40:22

those things together, like

40:24

you, I feel like you said the word

40:26

crystallized a couple of times earlier on and

40:28

I really feel like it's that, it's those

40:31

things together are where you're at. Oh

40:34

completely and also realizing

40:36

that I am

40:39

enough, even

40:41

as someone who I'm, I've

40:44

always played sports, I'm quite competitive

40:46

but I don't

40:48

really care about winning too

40:51

much yet as a comic, everyone

40:54

will relate to this as a comic and

40:56

you're lying if it's not, you

40:59

see someone getting that they're on

41:01

that TV show, they're on that panel show, they're like

41:03

why am I not on that, how do I get

41:05

on that, I should be on that, oh

41:07

that that gig, look why am I not on

41:09

that bill, you know, hold on, Just For Laughs

41:12

is doing Australia, why aren't I one of the

41:14

Kiwis on that bill, you know, and then hold

41:16

on, no you've done Just For Laughs in Montreal,

41:18

it's fine, they've said you're good, that

41:22

thing of why aren't I doing

41:24

that, I should be doing

41:26

better, why aren't I

41:28

getting a better paid slot and

41:31

then actually realizing I'm enough and I came

41:33

to this realization

41:36

that you

41:38

don't have to have

41:41

this massive success,

41:43

I could be put on this earth just to

41:45

look at a beautiful tree, I could be put

41:47

on this earth just to sit on the beach

41:49

and that is enough, so

41:52

it's made me better as a parent because I

41:54

realized don't push my kids, it

41:56

doesn't matter if my kids want

41:59

to be a farmer, want to

42:01

be a hippie, want to

42:03

be an accountant. It's enough

42:05

for them just to be on the

42:07

earth experiencing this

42:10

magic and once

42:12

that got really inside

42:14

me, the comedy got

42:16

better because it was, oh no

42:18

who cares, you know. And that thing of

42:21

the gigs came because I was enjoying

42:23

myself on stage. I was a

42:25

bit of comic so they're like, hey

42:28

you're this new

42:31

Guy Henwood because you know how TV people

42:33

always need you in a box. They're like,

42:35

hey you're actually a bit more thoughtful and

42:38

you know you could do a few bit

42:40

and that got me some more hosting

42:42

sort of gigs along your sort of

42:45

more Lego masters, you're Dancing with the

42:47

Stars which are very

42:50

straight shows and

42:54

it just made me

42:56

realise as well you've just got to go

42:59

with the flow of it fighting for things,

43:03

fighting for things is too hard, you

43:06

know getting in arguments

43:08

on Facebook

43:10

about lineups and all these

43:12

things. I was like,

43:15

don't buy into that, just I

43:19

tend not to follow a lot of comics

43:21

on social media and that because I mean

43:24

when I say social media I mean more

43:26

dialed in comedy groups

43:28

because for

43:30

me I tend to see the worst of

43:32

people there and people

43:34

are like, oh you know they're always bitching

43:36

about that. I don't see

43:38

them bitching about that but when I go and sit

43:40

in the green room with them I have a great

43:43

experience with them so I'd rather

43:46

just have the face to

43:49

face with people

43:51

and that

43:54

this is not related to that but it just

43:56

made me think my favourite thing about being a

43:58

comic is the green. room. And

44:02

oh, I sing the praises of New

44:04

Zealand green rooms all over the world.

44:06

The thing I draw is

44:09

I say it's a line where at one end

44:11

you've got LA when no one speaks to each

44:13

other because they're all texting their agent and checking

44:15

their social media stats. And then the other end

44:17

of the line is New Zealand where you come

44:19

off stage at the classic and everyone clusters around

44:21

you in the green room. They're like that bit

44:23

was amazing. You really pushed yourself. I love that.

44:25

That thing that the other person said, you took

44:27

her idea and you really ran with it from

44:30

the other week. I'm at this workshop it, you

44:32

know, and then somewhere in the middle is

44:34

British comedy. Like somewhere in between those two things.

44:37

Oh, what so this different

44:39

green room styles really was

44:42

crystallized me. I'm really going down the crystallized

44:44

route in the moment. I think you're in

44:46

time. Was

44:49

really shown to me in Montreal.

44:51

I had 2008 I did

44:53

just for laughs over there. And

44:55

I come from this green room situation

44:58

in New Zealand where you

45:00

come off stage, someone else comes off stage. You go

45:03

that bit is so good. What

45:06

about this tag and you'd say

45:08

a tag and someone might use it or

45:10

they might not. Then

45:13

as a Montreal, there

45:15

was a certain very famous LA

45:17

comic who came and the

45:21

movie comic and

45:24

the manager demanded that the green room

45:26

be empty for them the seat before.

45:28

So they had it to themselves. So

45:31

there's all these comedians standing

45:33

in the hallway. I'm talking people who have

45:35

become very famous like JB Smoove. He was

45:37

sort of on all the gigs with me.

45:39

Oh, yeah. And

45:43

we're all in the standing in the hallway.

45:45

Well, this guy's in there with his yellow

45:48

paper do his thing. And I was just like,

45:50

oh, this isn't comedies

45:52

about the community. And they did another gig.

45:55

Someone came off stage and I was that

45:57

bit so good. What if he said this? and

46:00

they're like, I can write

46:02

my own set, thanks mate. And

46:04

it was like, oh no, I didn't mean, I mean, I

46:07

just meant it was so good. And

46:09

they're sick of realizing, oh no,

46:12

this is a bit more competitive. Because that

46:14

was very much in the time in

46:17

Montreal where free

46:20

to air TV was still a big thing. People

46:22

were trying to get sitcoms. So every American

46:25

standup set was

46:28

like, hey, so I'm

46:30

living in this neighborhood, right? I've

46:32

got three crazy Latino neighbors. I

46:36

have my South African mother-in-law living with me.

46:38

Every set was a premise for a sitcom.

46:40

Sure, yeah, yeah. Whereas I was just in

46:43

the Kiwi trying to have a good time

46:45

situation. And it was like,

46:47

oh no, okay, green rooms are

46:50

different. And jumping

46:52

back to sort of those established

46:54

comics who came over to New Zealand

46:56

where you're Phil Nichol Glenwill and so

46:58

forth. It was them coming

47:01

over and going, wow, this New Zealand

47:03

scene is so cool. We'd

47:05

do a gig, we'd all hop in a car, drive

47:07

to another gig, then drive out

47:09

to the beach and have some beers. And

47:12

they're like, oh no, it is a community.

47:14

And that's because at

47:16

that time, there wasn't money,

47:19

there wasn't TV shows, there

47:21

wasn't a career path. And

47:23

when there's no career path, you

47:26

are purely doing it for

47:28

the love of comedy.

47:31

Yeah. Is there, I just

47:33

wanna go back to

47:35

the meditation for a second. Are

47:37

there parallels between the

47:40

sort of flow state of

47:42

a comic free falling, finding

47:44

your way in between those lines, like

47:46

when you're working it, going, I'm gonna

47:48

make, you know, and it is working.

47:50

Is there a parallel between that and

47:53

meditation? I don't meditate for more than two or

47:55

three minutes at a time at the end of

47:57

a yoga session. My yoga YouTube got my guy.

48:00

the guy I see on YouTube, I

48:02

believe he has other clients, he

48:04

will often say, you might now want

48:06

to stay here for another 5, 10, 30, maybe an hour, that's

48:10

not happening, you know, but I

48:13

sort of get it, I feel like, yeah,

48:16

that could be in my future somewhere because

48:18

I do get it. Is there a relationship

48:20

between that sort of, whatever

48:22

it is, we talked about ego and the conflict

48:24

between the ego you need and then the the

48:27

the ego that you're trying to shed in meditation,

48:29

just is there like a parallel, is there a sweet

48:32

spot where you're kind of on stage going, oh, Phil

48:35

Kay on this podcast years ago talks

48:37

about the matrix moment when the bullets

48:39

are no longer appropriate, you know,

48:41

and like he means that, for comedy, you're

48:44

just like, I'm just in the moment

48:46

doing the thing and none of

48:48

this, the other things don't matter. Comedy,

48:51

it was sort

48:54

of, it was post my cancer diagnosis,

48:56

I realised I suddenly went, comedy

48:59

is the one

49:02

time where I am, where I

49:04

feel I'm almost at the enlightened

49:06

point of meditation, comedy is the

49:08

most zen part of my

49:10

life because the one

49:13

thing a cancer diagnosis shows

49:15

you is that,

49:19

what did I think about before? Cancer

49:21

is now in my mind

49:23

24-7, it's, oh, I've got

49:26

cancer, I've got a scan coming up, oh,

49:28

that's right, I've got cancer, it's just there.

49:31

So when I'm on stage, I walked off

49:33

and I went, I

49:36

didn't think about cancer for 30 minutes, I

49:38

was just in,

49:41

you know, that whole mindfulness thing

49:43

is in the moment, the present,

49:46

all that and going, there is

49:48

nothing that puts you in the

49:50

exact moment, like being on

49:53

stage, especially if you're

49:55

doing new material where you don't, you

49:58

haven't got into any. auto

50:01

rhythm to get to. Gags, you're

50:04

just, oh what is the rhythm?

50:06

Oh shit, that's the funny part of the joke,

50:08

not that. That's

50:11

when you're purely in the moment. And

50:15

I just went, comedy is

50:18

a massive meditation point

50:21

for me, because you'll be right in the

50:23

moment. Like I was doing a new bit

50:25

and it was, I was

50:28

sure that the real punch line was

50:30

at the end, but then the

50:33

setup just got this huge laugh.

50:36

And then the punch line sort of got a, and

50:38

then I was, oh now I've got to get out of this. And

50:42

then I'm just in the moment trying to tinker

50:45

to get the car going

50:47

at full pace again. And

50:49

you're just dealing with that one

50:52

moment. The audience are just dealing

50:54

with that one moment. Sure

50:56

nowadays, a few people are on their

50:58

phones and gigs, but stand

51:01

up is still a very honest

51:04

medium where

51:07

you can't, you know, you can stand in an art

51:09

gallery and look at a painting

51:11

and lie about how much you like it,

51:13

but you can't fake laugh for 20 minutes.

51:15

So it's

51:17

very honest. And when

51:20

they're laughing and you're trying to make them laugh

51:22

more, it's such a

51:25

meditation. And I, actually

51:28

before, who was on

51:30

the Buskers Fest with us? Larry.

51:37

By Larry Dean, I think. Larry

51:39

Dean. Larry Hickey. So Larry Dean

51:41

and I were deep

51:43

on the meditation buzz because he would

51:46

do TM meditation Oh I didn't know

51:48

that. for 20 minutes,

51:50

sort of before the gig. And it

51:52

was interesting talking to him about meditation

51:55

because it was, you

51:57

can't do meditation.

52:00

too close to a gig because the

52:04

idea is completely empty in your

52:06

mind making it

52:08

like a calm sort of pool of

52:10

water whereas comedy you still need a

52:12

bit of electric,

52:16

frenetic energy. There's

52:19

going to be some ripples right? Yeah, there's

52:21

going to be some motion. And

52:24

the thing with comedy is the surprise wave

52:26

or the where you seem calm

52:28

and then even deadpang

52:30

comedians still

52:32

fire when they've got that a bit

52:35

of electricity about them. And

52:38

it was really interesting talking to

52:40

him as we're like yeah I tend to try and do

52:42

that meditation in the morning. I did it just before I

52:44

came here and you're sort of floating

52:47

and there's a difference between I don't care

52:49

what the audience thinks and

52:53

doing the art for yourself and still

52:55

going no I want some response.

52:58

Sure, yeah. If you approach the

53:00

idea there is no audience then

53:03

there is and they do need

53:05

to be laughing. But

53:07

also the meditation for me then came after

53:10

a set. I suddenly realized

53:12

of wow a 20-minute meditation

53:14

when I get home is a better

53:17

and healthier way of

53:20

dealing with it rather than a few

53:23

beers rather than having some drinks because

53:25

I was like oh no I'll do

53:27

a gig on the way

53:29

home I think about the gig when I get home

53:31

I'll make a couple of notes then

53:33

I'll do a meditation and that

53:36

was a more a

53:39

post gig routine

53:42

that made me sort of a

53:45

better parent I was sleeping better

53:48

and I was calm and I

53:50

was assessing the comedy

53:52

better I'd sort of do a set make

53:54

a couple of notes then I could just

53:56

put it to bed and

53:58

then at the next gig look through the notes and go,

54:00

oh that's right, I've got to flick that punchline

54:03

around, I've got to do that. So meditation

54:06

actually became a massive coping mechanism

54:08

for cancer

54:11

and for stand-up.

54:15

But then it went to

54:17

the next level when I realised that meditation,

54:19

I was at a, there was

54:21

a Buddhist temple in Auckland and

54:23

I said to this monk who was there, he was

54:26

a young monk and the

54:28

best response, he

54:30

was from Korea, he had been

54:32

in New Zealand for about 10 years and

54:37

I said to him, how much do you meditate in terms of

54:39

sitting down and meditating? And he just looked at me

54:42

and then I went, I don't

54:44

fucking sit on a cushion mate,

54:46

meditation is life. I

54:50

don't sit down and meditate, it's

54:52

actually what you do, everything

54:55

you do is meditation and

54:57

you should bring that philosophy

55:00

to it. And it was, then

55:02

it struck me, it was like, oh

55:04

actually just sit down and write

55:07

your set, don't, for me I'd be like, I'd

55:09

sort of have a podcast on, I'd be trying

55:11

to do a couple of things and then I'll

55:14

write my set down and I was, no just

55:16

focus on your set. Oh you're

55:18

doing the dishes, just focus on doing

55:21

the dishes. I'm walking

55:23

my kid to school, don't leave

55:25

your phone in the car and just

55:27

walk them to school. And

55:29

then once I started doing that, I realised

55:33

I was doing the same amount of things in a

55:35

day but I had no

55:38

Russian anxiety because I

55:41

wasn't trying to

55:43

do this thing, I wasn't

55:45

trying to reply to a message while I'm

55:47

walking to school when I could just sit

55:50

in the car after the drop off and do

55:52

the message. Everything

55:55

still fitted into the day, but I had

55:57

a lot more. Ill

56:00

because I have. My dad was

56:02

like at night it was a

56:04

i'm a Russia and Russian. The

56:06

made me passive aggressive so it

56:08

was once I could stop the

56:10

russian. I. Could make life a

56:12

lot better. He

56:14

sees it as beautiful as beautiful die

56:16

and it's I think is is it

56:19

reminds is the question Was gonna last

56:21

earlier which was a bouts I should

56:23

have had a bit of a revelation.

56:25

Some sort of this. it's of sort

56:27

of mild epiphany. probably a few years

56:30

ago when I realized that. Like.

56:32

As I've always sort of. I. Didn't what

56:34

the word is Not even personified, but like. There's.

56:37

Comedy It was when you said them

56:39

because comedy is and I was I

56:41

oh he can finish the sentence. that

56:43

comedy a singer, They a British Comedy

56:45

is. I mean it really is and

56:47

I think we all have our own

56:49

various relationship. That relationship with it of

56:51

course. And there are times when you

56:53

think like if I think back to

56:55

my street performing career I think you

56:57

know I used a lot of stop

56:59

material but I like to think I

57:01

put something back into the pot as

57:03

well, have taken from it in in

57:05

an even bigger wider kind. Of a way

57:07

that that. I.

57:10

Started to sail. This is the epiphany I had. I

57:12

started to feel like when I'm on stage and this

57:14

is kind of to do with a job he talks

57:16

about as well. I'm in the dissolving of ego. I.

57:19

Started to feel like will my job.

57:21

Really, it's not a million miles away

57:23

from a sort of religious role whereby

57:25

you'll like. I know where the comedy

57:27

is and I'm really use to letting

57:29

it out and my role is to

57:31

come here and let it out. Like.

57:33

I'm just it I had this whole thing

57:35

I'd rather a good for the like I'm

57:37

a to my job is to be a

57:40

to a comedy I don't just on states

57:42

being a chimp connecting the comedy with the

57:44

people because I you know the people know

57:46

how to find comedy of their lives by

57:48

really good at finding is an episode. Luckily

57:50

because it was a non eager of state

57:53

it was like yeah I just serves comedy

57:55

is and I just serve it. And

57:57

it and it felt so. Positive.

57:59

And. and hopeful and kind

58:02

of like the nistness of

58:04

it, you know? Yeah,

58:06

you're just a conduit for

58:08

distributing the comedy. When you

58:11

talk about street performing and

58:13

taking from

58:15

the pot, it just sparked,

58:18

I was reading how NASA have

58:20

put on the moon thing

58:23

that has the whole of human history in

58:25

it, right? Up to date. And

58:28

one of the things they put in

58:30

it was how David Copperfield did all

58:32

of his tricks. They

58:37

have, oh, I've got balloons coming up on my screen. So

58:41

they haven't released it on Earth, but

58:46

they got the answer of how he did all

58:48

his magic tricks and all his illusions, and they

58:50

put it on this thumb drive and it's on

58:52

the moon. That is,

58:54

I mean, there is a short film to be made

58:56

of a rival magician trying to fund a moon trip

58:59

in order to get the secrets. Because

59:01

in, I know quite a few

59:03

magicians and there are certain tricks

59:05

that can either be bought or traded

59:08

or that sort of thing. And I'm

59:10

sure there's quite a few tricks in

59:12

there that they don't want coming

59:14

out. But I thought, out of all the

59:16

things to put on the moon,

59:20

that's quite an odd one, because if

59:22

aliens find it, they

59:24

will give disproportionate weight

59:26

to how important David Copperfield is

59:29

to humanity. If

59:32

you, we must wrap up, if you were going to leave a

59:38

bit of die, Henwood, a joke

59:41

or an insight or something on

59:43

the moon to represent

59:45

you, what would it be? It

59:50

would be when the fear of death

59:52

is gone, all

59:58

that remains is the joy of the moon. of living

1:00:01

would be the phrase I'd have

1:00:03

on there because for me

1:00:08

I meditate on death every day, I

1:00:10

think about death every day and I

1:00:12

have zero fear of death and

1:00:16

that has freed me up because

1:00:19

all it remains is the joy

1:00:21

of living every single

1:00:24

moment whether I like I

1:00:27

was driving home from a CT

1:00:29

scan where I got particularly bad news I

1:00:32

was parked at the lights and

1:00:34

a woman just drove straight into the back

1:00:36

of me and that

1:00:39

in the past would have

1:00:42

been a huge time for

1:00:44

me to lose it right

1:00:47

and just get it you know that that

1:00:50

sort of straw that breaks the camel's back

1:00:52

where all this and

1:00:54

then I got out and I thought I took big

1:00:56

deep breath and thought I just got to get out

1:00:58

with some peace it wasn't her fault in that turns

1:01:01

out she was a friend of a friend her

1:01:04

husband's got this amazing boat he

1:01:07

ended up taking out my family

1:01:10

a couple of times so

1:01:13

insurance paid for my car but

1:01:15

then I connected with this person who

1:01:17

they've become friends they've been so generous

1:01:20

and it was

1:01:22

a great example of well the

1:01:25

universe literally works in

1:01:27

mysterious ways and

1:01:31

we had a laugh and a great time at the

1:01:33

side of the road while our cars were pranked

1:01:36

because I just

1:01:39

bought some joy to that moment and

1:01:43

it's really I think I

1:01:45

think everyone no matter what situation you

1:01:47

are should think about death and meditate

1:01:49

on death quite a lot

1:01:52

because it does make you realize

1:01:54

what's important and actually

1:01:56

go well today was

1:01:58

the last day enjoy

1:02:00

it. For me, if

1:02:03

my kids are fighting, if they're

1:02:05

having a really full-on time, it's a bit

1:02:07

tough at home, I

1:02:10

go into this mental state of going, okay,

1:02:12

if I was on my deathbed and

1:02:15

I could travel back in time for one

1:02:17

moment and it happened to be this moment,

1:02:20

you would love this moment more than anything in

1:02:22

the world. So then I,

1:02:24

it actually brings more compassion to

1:02:27

the moment for me and I'm like, oh,

1:02:29

they're fighting but that, it'll come

1:02:31

right in ten minutes. So that would be

1:02:34

my thing, when the fear of

1:02:36

death has gone, all that remains is the joy of living.

1:02:39

I must ask you one of Jenny's questions because

1:02:41

she sent in a bunch of questions for you,

1:02:44

even though that's the beautiful, you know, producer

1:02:46

Callum who works on the show will be tearing his

1:02:48

hair out going, no, get out, get out, that's the

1:02:51

end, how can that not be the end of the

1:02:53

episode? Jenny

1:02:55

asked two questions, I'll tell you, I'll tell you everything

1:02:57

she wrote, she wrote two short paragraphs and you can

1:02:59

pick which bit you'd like to respond to. Every

1:03:02

single Kiwi who knows you, loves you and

1:03:04

we're all pretty invested in your health. Where

1:03:06

people used to come up to you on

1:03:08

the street to talk about a seven-day gag

1:03:11

is everyone now telling you their cancer story.

1:03:13

Does that get exhausting? Would you like to just

1:03:15

be about the comedy again for a while or

1:03:17

are you happy to link the teeth? That's

1:03:20

the first one.

1:03:22

So the

1:03:24

interaction I'm about to say typifies

1:03:28

my entire relationship with Kiwis,

1:03:31

right? I meet the

1:03:33

weirdest people, have the weirdest interactions.

1:03:35

I did an hour interview about

1:03:37

my cancer documentary, about

1:03:39

my cancer journey and

1:03:43

the next morning I was in my local cafe

1:03:45

and this guy comes out and went, mate,

1:03:48

I've loved your comedy since the beginning and I'm

1:03:50

really sorry to hear about

1:03:53

you having AIDS. And

1:03:57

I took

1:03:59

every... everything for me not to swear

1:04:01

on. I was like, did you watch the

1:04:03

interview last night? He was here man. That

1:04:05

interview with Jackie Brown was just so...

1:04:08

and I was like, where did the age

1:04:10

come from? The entire thing was about

1:04:12

cancer and he was, oh sorry

1:04:15

man, it's just they're both full on. And

1:04:18

I'm like, they're very different but then

1:04:21

I'm like, they're actually getting a lot further

1:04:24

to a cure for that than they are.

1:04:26

Oh my god. Oh my god. But that

1:04:28

typifies it and a

1:04:30

lot of people come up and actually share

1:04:32

some pretty... the hardest thing is I

1:04:35

was in Topol working up some

1:04:37

material. We're doing a gig at this boat, sort

1:04:39

of shared and this wonderful

1:04:43

young woman who came up to me, she would have been

1:04:45

in her 30s, she was dealing with exactly what I'm dealing

1:04:47

with and we

1:04:49

have an in-depth conversation for 40

1:04:51

minutes about how hard cancer is.

1:04:53

Then I hear, please will

1:04:56

to the stage, die him with it. Then I'm

1:04:58

like, oh right, comedy mode. Walk

1:05:00

out. And so

1:05:03

a lot more people talk

1:05:05

to me about their journey daily on

1:05:07

social media. I have a lot

1:05:10

of private DMs with

1:05:12

people who I'm

1:05:14

either trying to listen to their story or

1:05:17

offer solace and I

1:05:20

love that and I'm very good at taking

1:05:23

time for myself and I need time for that.

1:05:26

So to be honest, the

1:05:30

quick answer to that question is, no,

1:05:32

I love people coming up to

1:05:34

me and because as she

1:05:39

mentioned, I'm generally liked,

1:05:41

I'm not very polarizing

1:05:43

over here. So people

1:05:45

do come up to me with a bit of love and

1:05:47

I put a lot of love out there so I feel

1:05:49

that often comes back. That's

1:05:52

such a beautiful answer. Thank you, Di. I

1:05:54

think the second part of her question, I

1:05:56

think you've already answered but she says, do

1:05:58

you feel like you're able to be authentically

1:06:00

flat or bleak in public, if that's how

1:06:02

you're feeling at the time. I'm not a

1:06:04

comedian, but I end up acting unnaturally high

1:06:06

every time I talk to anyone in the

1:06:08

street, like I'm trying to save their awkwardness

1:06:11

over my diagnosis. So that's,

1:06:13

I think that's, I feel like

1:06:15

I know what your response to that will be. I

1:06:17

get you are an authentic person and I'm sure you're

1:06:19

okay to say like, not now. Yeah.

1:06:22

And the big thing is, is

1:06:24

as someone

1:06:27

comes up and I'm like, Hey, I just

1:06:29

finding chatting a bit high cause I

1:06:32

have bowel cancer, but it's only in my

1:06:34

lungs at the moment and it was compressing

1:06:36

an airway earlier on. So I couldn't talk

1:06:39

very well or breathe. And the,

1:06:41

the chemo at the moment is made

1:06:43

me feel a lot better, but it's also

1:06:45

tough. And so if I'm just, I'm just

1:06:47

honest with people and go, Hey man, I've

1:06:49

just come out of a pretty rough chemo

1:06:51

around. So I'm just a bit flat and

1:06:54

then like, Oh, completely understand man. Hey,

1:06:56

thanks for taking the time to have

1:06:58

a chat. You know, so

1:07:00

it is that, that, that thing of

1:07:04

me realizing that I don't need

1:07:06

to put a face on and

1:07:08

honesty is, is good. And,

1:07:11

and in a time where the world

1:07:14

I feel over the last four

1:07:16

or five years has been so polarized

1:07:19

with people in tribes arguing about what

1:07:22

side you sit on a wall,

1:07:25

what side you sit on a

1:07:27

COVID all this, this cancer diagnosis

1:07:29

is actually really made me realize

1:07:31

that humanity is pretty beautiful and

1:07:34

one-on-one humans are pretty

1:07:36

amazing. And I've had

1:07:39

like very, I'm

1:07:41

probably publicly quite more lefty and

1:07:43

I've had like really full on

1:07:45

right wing farmers come up to

1:07:47

me and they're like, Mike,

1:07:50

you know, I don't agree

1:07:52

with some of the shit you say about bloody

1:07:54

the government, but you're a good human mate and

1:07:57

I love you and I wish you all the

1:07:59

best in your. bloody funny up

1:08:01

there. And that thing of

1:08:03

realising, I have

1:08:06

mates who I disagree with on a

1:08:09

lot of things, huge issues,

1:08:11

but we're mates because they're beautiful people

1:08:13

and I sort of respect

1:08:16

their ability to

1:08:18

have a different view to me. And

1:08:21

I think if people just realise that at the

1:08:23

core of it, there are a hell of a

1:08:26

lot of good humans out there. So try

1:08:28

and enjoy that aspect of life. Dae,

1:08:32

thank you so much. You are a

1:08:34

huge inspiration to people with AIDS everywhere.

1:08:37

That's my one

1:08:39

Aemon life. Thanks

1:08:43

Dae. Radiating

1:08:46

peace, right? Oh my God, what a

1:08:48

good dude. He's just a Kiwi trying

1:08:50

to have a good time. You

1:08:52

can catch up with his stuff. I'm sure you can see him online.

1:08:54

You can see clips of him all over the place. Thank

1:08:57

you to people that sent in questions. Thank

1:09:00

you to Jenny Stringelman in particular

1:09:02

for alerting me originally to

1:09:04

Dae's condition months and months and months ago and

1:09:06

having the idea for me getting in touch

1:09:08

and catching back up with him. Very much

1:09:10

appreciate that, Jenny. You can pre-order everybody. You

1:09:13

can pre-order Dae's memoir, The Life of Dae,

1:09:15

comes out this June. You can see him

1:09:17

live in Die Hard in Auckland and Christchurch

1:09:19

and find out more about him at linktree.com

1:09:21

or on Instagram at die underscore henwood. I

1:09:24

don't need to remind you again The Insider's

1:09:26

Club has moved to Patreon. Although they do

1:09:28

say in the marketing world that at the

1:09:30

point you find yourself being absolutely just imagining

1:09:32

people are absolutely sick of you saying a

1:09:34

thing. That's the point at which people are

1:09:37

first starting to notice. So for the final

1:09:39

time today The Insider's Club has moved to

1:09:41

Patreon full video episodes, extra content and video

1:09:43

as well as audio including 10 minutes with

1:09:45

Mr Henwood, guest announcements that

1:09:47

are exclusive, new membership offerings including a

1:09:49

monthly stew and a go to patreon.com/comcom

1:09:51

for more details. I felt

1:09:53

like a radio advert person.

1:09:56

Can I say that even faster? Go to

1:09:58

patreon.com/comcom for more details. That

1:10:00

wasn't bad, was it? Book me for your radio

1:10:03

ads. Right, join me on Saturday 4th May, this

1:10:05

Saturday at the McUnclef Comedy Festival, unless you are

1:10:07

listening past 4th May 2024, in

1:10:10

which case it was a previous Saturday. Spoilers, as

1:10:12

it's selling well, but you can still get tickets,

1:10:14

link in the show notes for that. And thank

1:10:16

you to everyone, thank you to

1:10:19

producer Callum for producing the show, Susie Lewis

1:10:21

for logging it, Jenny Stringelman again, because she's

1:10:23

great, Dye Henwood for being on

1:10:25

it and the main point about it all, and

1:10:27

thank you to Rob Smowton for the music, Pete

1:10:30

Dobbing for sort of nebulous help,

1:10:32

and also being about to be,

1:10:37

how is it, Pete Dobbing on stings at

1:10:39

the live redacted show, where

1:10:42

I will, what will I do with, will I

1:10:44

record it, who knows? And

1:10:46

thank you to you for listening and

1:10:48

sharing it with people and telling people

1:10:50

how good it is. Thank you as

1:10:53

well to our insider producers, Simmons, Tickle,

1:10:55

Allen, Lucas, McClellan, McCarroll, Walsh, Walt, no,

1:10:57

wait, Purdie, Schmidt, Stuart,

1:11:00

Lucas, Swaddle, Wormall, Burry, Stuart

1:11:02

and Sheldon. They all got

1:11:04

the surname Stuart, mostly. That

1:11:07

is the most represented surname.

1:11:09

And a big thank you

1:11:11

to our special insider executive

1:11:13

producer, something a bit sweeter's,

1:11:15

Peter's. I

1:11:17

don't have to do for now. What

1:11:20

did Callum say, producer Callum, you

1:11:23

said to do a

1:11:25

small, what did you say, to do a

1:11:27

little post-dumble, because

1:11:29

it's a chunky episode. It is because I insisted,

1:11:31

contrary to your wishes, that we leave in as

1:11:34

much stuff as possible. So stick

1:11:36

around for a small, oh, I've got a funny email to read

1:11:39

you out. I'll do that as a post-dumble. Stick around for that.

1:11:41

All clear off. I don't need you. I

1:11:45

can't get out of a show like that, but apparently

1:11:47

I have. So here, this is the email I wanted

1:11:50

to read you. This is from someone. Did

1:11:53

I mention last time? No, I don't think I

1:11:55

did. Do you remember when we

1:11:57

last did merch? It was about six years ago.

1:12:00

we did t-shirts brilliantly

1:12:04

designed t-shirts that were a what was oh

1:12:06

come on what was the name of the

1:12:08

t-shirt person she's brilliant she's got a name

1:12:10

which is one letter lis lee

1:12:12

one letter short of what you're

1:12:15

expecting lis richardson um she did

1:12:17

an incredible design which was a

1:12:19

beehive sort of obscuring

1:12:21

beautiful cursive lettering saying fuck him which

1:12:23

was a reference to the beekeeper joke

1:12:26

um which i have just sent to

1:12:28

mike because mike ordered

1:12:30

one of those t-shirts i i don't think it

1:12:32

was my mistake i think he ordered a small

1:12:34

and then it was my mistake that i took

1:12:36

i think what happened was i took ages to

1:12:38

send it to him and by that point he

1:12:41

was no longer as small is that fair mike

1:12:43

i don't think that's fair um i

1:12:45

there was some sort of you know there was a great big

1:12:47

cock up because i never liked to do drop shipping because you

1:12:50

end up making two quid out of

1:12:52

you have to charge the the the customer

1:12:54

20 quid and you get almost nothing so

1:12:56

i've done it twice memorably as you recall where

1:12:58

i've done it all myself but not really known

1:13:00

how to use xl spreadsheets and as a result sent all

1:13:03

the wrong stuff to the wrong fucking people so let's assume

1:13:05

it was part of that and the

1:13:07

point being five years ago

1:13:09

i first had correspondence with mike

1:13:11

that said no i i think the most recent

1:13:14

correspondence i had with mike where he said hey

1:13:16

can i swap this for a you know different

1:13:18

size and um and

1:13:21

i put a little reminder i'd put an email

1:13:23

get this done get this done get this done

1:13:25

and i just never got round to it i

1:13:27

think it's like it's something like the t-shirts were

1:13:29

in the loft but i don't have a loft

1:13:31

i can't remember what the problem was at the

1:13:33

time i didn't know i had ADHD and i

1:13:35

maybe wasn't being as kind to myself as

1:13:37

i should have um but either way i

1:13:39

just didn't bloody do it for ages and then the

1:13:41

email reminded to myself sort of dropped off and then

1:13:43

i remembered one day i went oh god i should

1:13:46

put that back in and then it sat in the

1:13:48

bottom of my email slash to-do list none of

1:13:50

the workable system we discussed that it's that

1:13:52

there for ages and then eventually um i

1:13:55

turned it into a calendar

1:13:57

reminder that repeated every year

1:14:00

then for the next four years I moved

1:14:02

it further and further away and never did

1:14:04

it and for some reason and let's

1:14:08

say it was an ADHD coaching session but I

1:14:10

just came out of it full of them and

1:14:12

I said I'm doing it now it caught my

1:14:14

eye in the reminder and I walked I'm

1:14:16

gonna say eight paces

1:14:19

to a suitcase under the stairs got

1:14:21

the right t-shirt out walked not

1:14:24

even a further four paces but four paces

1:14:26

back to the bag where the like the

1:14:28

the box where all the t-shirt sending bags

1:14:30

are put one in fucking

1:14:32

posted it and then I put

1:14:35

a little card in it to apologize to Mike

1:14:37

and he sent me this hey Stu

1:14:39

are you well I think that's a little joke um

1:14:42

thank you so much for the t-shirt given everything that's

1:14:44

happened in the last five years I will admit that

1:14:46

I've completely forgotten about it and obviously at this point

1:14:48

I was prepared to stop reading and throw my laptop

1:14:50

out the window and I'm afraid I've also forgotten the

1:14:52

joke it was the punch line from other than there

1:14:55

were a lot of bees my memory's not what it

1:14:57

used to be it did occur for me as I

1:14:59

sent it when it occurred to my it occurred to

1:15:01

me and I quashed the thought and then it

1:15:03

shortly afterwards occurred to my wife that Mike

1:15:05

might no longer be alive it's been a

1:15:07

hell of a five years I'm so glad

1:15:09

that Mike's alive I should have put that

1:15:11

in my email and he says I toyed

1:15:14

with the idea of setting myself a reminder to

1:15:16

thank you in five years time god I'd have

1:15:18

loved that but I figured I'm not getting any

1:15:20

younger so why take

1:15:22

the risk of being inadvertently impolite and not

1:15:24

saying thank you by dying in the meantime

1:15:26

fair that is fair um what

1:15:28

you could have done there Mike is relied on the

1:15:30

fact that having sent it had you not corresponded with

1:15:33

me I never have thought about it again but I'm

1:15:35

going to be kind to myself about that and

1:15:37

I extrapolated he goes on to thinking that I could put

1:15:39

it in my will that you were to be thanked in

1:15:41

five years time should I die in the meantime I

1:15:43

think I'd miss that bit as I scanned it that's

1:15:46

good but my will is already out of date with

1:15:48

various provisions involving people that have since passed away and

1:15:50

what if I don't die in the next five years

1:15:52

and you get a thank you in 30 years because

1:15:54

I didn't include an appropriately worded sunset clause good knowledge

1:15:56

what if email doesn't exist in 30 years or yours

1:15:58

doesn't work because you change jobs slash podcast

1:16:01

and the joke just falls apart through technological

1:16:03

advances or changes in your career. I also

1:16:05

thought I might send a t-shirt back to

1:16:07

you and ask for the next size up!

1:16:10

I still might! Oh god that peaked! Oh no I'm gonna

1:16:12

have to leave it in even though I would normally retake

1:16:14

that but you deserve it on its lap even if it

1:16:16

fucked up the mic. I

1:16:18

also thought, I'll send the next size up, yes I

1:16:20

still might, I've not had the chance to try it

1:16:22

on yet and lo and behold as I am to

1:16:24

admit it the pandemic and general indolence means I'm not

1:16:26

as alive as I once was but I decided that

1:16:28

all of these were a bit too much effort and

1:16:30

I'm just not that committed to the joke so

1:16:33

I'll just say thanks man. I'm

1:16:36

not, I'm not being, I

1:16:38

don't think I'm exaggerating when I say

1:16:41

that that is probably in my top

1:16:43

10 emails I've ever received not just

1:16:45

in fan mail but also in my

1:16:48

wider domestic life. Oh that

1:16:50

tickled me so much it made me laugh the first time

1:16:52

and as you clearly heard on that reading

1:16:54

there were gags I missed when I didn't, when I

1:16:56

read it in my head rather than out loud. Thank

1:16:59

you Mike and thanks

1:17:01

for permission to read this out and

1:17:03

I loved every part of that and the

1:17:05

next time I do a t-shirt run I'll

1:17:08

try and send you one, I'll

1:17:10

try but I'm absolutely not committing

1:17:12

to it. I did actually when

1:17:14

I put the t-shirt in the bag I did quickly scan my shelf

1:17:16

to see if there was like an additional piece

1:17:19

of comedy ephemera maybe something a podcast guest had

1:17:21

given me that I could pass on to you

1:17:23

but they all felt either like something that I'd

1:17:25

kept but didn't really want and that didn't feel

1:17:27

like a good enough gift or something that I

1:17:30

kept and did want and I didn't want to

1:17:32

give you them because I wanted it. You

1:17:35

deserve something. I'll try

1:17:38

and think of something, I'll try and think of something

1:17:40

to give you Mike at some point in

1:17:42

the future. Listen every so often

1:17:44

I think about doing more merch and I

1:17:46

suppose with Evil Producer Calum on board, let's

1:17:48

hope that sticks, Evil Producer Calum on board

1:17:50

and getting our shit back together and Patreons

1:17:52

and all the rest of it we could

1:17:55

there must be some easy way of doing

1:17:57

like Patreon discounts or... on

1:18:00

a Patreon only t-shirt, we should bloody do that,

1:18:02

shouldn't we? No,

1:18:05

it's not, you know, this is what I've learned, it's not

1:18:07

a fact, it's not a hustle. It

1:18:09

is simply a cognitive load. And

1:18:11

I resist cognitive loads and I go, how can

1:18:13

I create my life such as that never happens?

1:18:15

But actually, this is the ADHD coaching coming back

1:18:17

in. What

1:18:20

I need to do to overcome that

1:18:23

cognitive load is turn it into an

1:18:25

emotional task and remember

1:18:27

that the reason I would want to do

1:18:29

t-shirts for everyone is not to make a

1:18:31

relatively trifling amount of money, which is nonetheless

1:18:33

very welcome. But it's because

1:18:35

of the love of the thing. I love this. If

1:18:37

I hadn't bothered doing t-shirts before, I'd never

1:18:39

had this lovely email from Mike and

1:18:41

I love it when I do gigs

1:18:44

or tour shows and people turn up

1:18:46

wearing con-con merch. So I love

1:18:48

that and I love you and I want you to

1:18:50

have a nice thing that makes you think of me.

1:18:52

I'm sitting here drinking out of my Conan mug from

1:18:54

2019. It can't last forever and every drink I have

1:18:56

from it is so special in case I fucking drop

1:18:58

it. I've got my wife a

1:19:00

three bean salad mug for

1:19:03

her last birthday or Christmas or something and

1:19:05

those things are important and I like to have

1:19:07

merch that reminds me of nice things, nice

1:19:10

experiences and what have you. I'm looking now at

1:19:12

a We Need Answers mug, which I stole from

1:19:14

the set of We Need Answers when I did

1:19:16

warm up for it. That was Tim Key, Alex

1:19:18

Horland, I think it's a Mark Watson show. Apologies,

1:19:20

Mark. So

1:19:23

I should do more merch. Mugs are good

1:19:25

and they last long and you use them.

1:19:29

Is that better than a t-shirt? I've got

1:19:31

to think about the ecological,

1:19:33

the sustainability implications, the

1:19:37

t-shirts, his water and cotton and stuff, but then

1:19:39

you do wear t-shirts. People need to be clothed,

1:19:41

so that's a thing. And

1:19:45

you heard it here first, people need to be clothed. That

1:19:47

is as close as I'm going to get to

1:19:49

a southern right wing anti-woke heel turn. Have

1:19:52

you heard, Goldsmith's gone anti-naturalism.

1:19:56

So it's mugs or t-shirts ultimately

1:19:58

or tea towels. I

1:20:01

should do more if you're up

1:20:03

for it. How should

1:20:05

you let me know? If you're a patreon and you're up

1:20:08

for it mention it in the in the what-it and

1:20:10

in the special app. And

1:20:14

if you are, let's

1:20:16

call you, what do we call you? I mean you're

1:20:18

by no means casual, some of you are deeply invested

1:20:20

and not in the patreon and that's absolutely fine. If

1:20:23

you're a listener and

1:20:27

excited, what's the term? If

1:20:29

you're an opted-in engaged listener then

1:20:32

an O I

1:20:35

E L. If you're one of those

1:20:37

legends then get in touch

1:20:39

with me somehow, tweet me or something.

1:20:41

Look, if I get a hundred different

1:20:43

things saying yes it's worth doing t-shirts,

1:20:46

I'll do t-shirts. That's my commitment to

1:20:49

me and you. A hundred of them

1:20:51

either on patreon or on Twitter

1:20:53

at con con pod. You can email me

1:20:55

if you're not on Twitter but just put t-shirt

1:20:58

in the subject matter and no text. I

1:21:00

will delete the message immediately but I will

1:21:02

write down it. I will include it in

1:21:04

the thing. A hundred t-shirts and we fucking

1:21:06

go. Alright? And Mike gets a free one

1:21:08

so I'm already counting Mike's photos. One. So

1:21:10

we're off the block. I'll probably get one

1:21:12

for me as well. That's two. I'll probably

1:21:14

give evil producer Kellum one to apologize for

1:21:16

rebranding him. That's three. All I need is

1:21:19

ninety-six. This is how merch works for me.

1:21:21

This is like a bloody infinite sofa. I'll

1:21:23

end up buying the merch off you, you

1:21:25

fuckers. Right. Goodbye forever. Want

1:21:29

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