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Music.

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Welcome to the Capital Coffee Connection podcast. I am Liz Hershnoff-Tolley,

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and today I have the pleasure of speaking with the mayor of Fort Worth, Texas, Maddie Parker.

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So welcome, Maddie. Thank you so much for joining me.

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One of the things that I love about this podcast is that we really get a chance

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to talk about the heart and the humanity of our elected leaders.

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We're not going to go into politics and policy, and we're just really getting

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to know who our leaders are. And one of of the things about Mayor Parker that I thought was just really interesting

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is that she is millennial.

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She's probably the youngest leader of a major city in America.

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And incredibly, in her last election, she got 70% of the vote,

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which is really outstanding. And she is a young leader, Republican woman, who basically,

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from everything that I have learned and we're going going to learn more,

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is really doing this because she understands that this is about everybody working

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together, people listening, and people coming together to make change.

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So I hope that we will be able to share throughout this a lot about Mayor Parker,

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but I really am excited because I think that what she represents is where we

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need to be as a country all the way down to our cities.

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So thank you for joining me. Thank you, Liz. It's an opportunity.

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I appreciate that. So the first First thing I would love to ask you is,

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you know, one of the things that I learned about you is that you are really

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interested in young people. You're working to make the city a better place for young people.

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And I would love to understand what it is that is your connection to being a

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mayor and what it is you see in the youth of your city.

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Well, I think probably at a large viewpoint for me, my husband and I are at

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that point in life. we're still raising our kids. Our youngest will turn eight at the end of this month.

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And so our life really revolves around young people.

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And because of that, it really informs both who I am as a mother,

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but also who I am as a policy leader for our city.

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I also think there's a significant business case the United States has really missed here.

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The way we invest in young people starting really prenatally or at birth through

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their first few years of life, there's a huge return on investment in the way

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we take care of our most vulnerable, our children and our communities.

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And I think because of that, it's really informed the way I want policy to move

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forward for the city of Fort Worth. And we're also a young city. Our average age here is about 33.

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We are a best place for families. And we really cherish the fact that people

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move here for a quality of life, not only to build their business,

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but also to raise their families. And then we're also a part of Texas. One out of every 10 children in the.

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And so if you ask the question as a policy leader, what do you want your city

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to be in five, 10, 20, 50 years, you have to be investing in the youth of today.

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And I think that for far too long, unfortunately, these issues,

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especially around early child education or the built environment for children,

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because it's usually adults and arguably usually older adults making those decisions

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are so far removed from that stage of their life that it's not their first priority.

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But I have enjoyed forcing those conversations as a policy leader,

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both here in my own city, but across the state to help make a difference there.

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And then lastly, I think I mentioned this briefly, but I do strongly feel like

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the way communities take care of those that can't take care of themselves,

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those that don't have the same agency, is really a measure of who you are as a community.

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Right. And if we pay more attention to those that actually can't vote for us,

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that are going to be here 10, 20 years and be in the seats we're in today,

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the world will be stronger for it. Yeah, it's beautiful. And I think you're absolutely correct.

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And one of the things I've learned about you is that you really take into consideration

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this idea of doesn't matter what political party, religion, where you're from,

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but that you need to work together. And as a mayor, your job is really about the people.

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So how is it to work with Democrats, Republicans, and different people?

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And one of the things I also know about you is that you really value listening.

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So can you talk a little bit about those things? Because I think that gets lost

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a lot in modern politics. Well, I think honestly, and you could speak to this too, I think most Americans

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are really exhausted from the partisanship and ideology battles that are happening,

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especially right now as we embark into this presidential election in 2024.

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But for whatever reason, most of us that are normal headed, that don't care

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about taking to our corners, have just sort of turned away and trying to just

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live our lives and ignore the noise. But I think there's a danger in the cynicism

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that that creates in government. And we're an amazing democracy, this experiment that continues.

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And those of us that are willing to work together, build consensus,

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find compromise, enjoy robust debate and conversations with people that are

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not like us, there's so much value in that.

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Furthermore, for whatever reason, this new movement I've seen where if you don't

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take to your corner, if you don't take a hard line approach,

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that you're weak in some way. And I fundamentally reject that. That's actually not how some of the most successful

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private sector businesses have been run.

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It's not how our faith communities are run. So why have we allowed government to get to that place?

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And then lastly, cities don't function in partisan ideology.

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And you actually would get zero done. And I would tell you, and you can look

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at great examples across the country, when cities become too partisan.

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When they focus too much on being the most liberal, the most progressive,

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the most conservative, they lose sight of the basics.

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And they're just a benefit as a city leader to noticing that.

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And maybe because of my background being in policy for most of my career,

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I've seen those things really falter and cause harm to a city.

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That motivates me. I wish more of us would speak up against it.

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And I think that there are a majority of us that are tired of it.

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We just need more loud voices around that, in my opinion.

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Yeah. No, I think it makes a lot of sense. And I think you're right.

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And while we're talking about being the mayor, what makes Fort Worth special?

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What are the special parts about your city? I see you smiling.

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And each city has a different flavor and different energy.

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But I would love to hear from you what it is about Fort Worth that is special.

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So it's interesting. Our Visit Fort Worth or Visitors Bureau produced a commercial

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about a year and a half ago that,

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We utilize the voice of Jimmy Stewart. We've got a deep connection here to Fort Worth.

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And our slogan became, we're an unexpected city, the unexpected city.

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I think that's absolutely true. People that visit here that never,

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never heard about our community are incredibly marveled by what it has to offer.

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We are a large city with all that comes with it. At the same time,

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it feels like a small town. People truly take care of one another here.

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There's a kindness and empathy for people, a very diverse city.

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You mentioned our age is young. And it feels like there's something of an air

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of opportunity here that I think is unique for large cities.

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The other thing I would point out is we're a city where no matter what you're

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interested in, you can find your niche, whether it's in our cultural district,

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our museums, the Fort Worth Stockyards, our downtown business community,

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emerging opportunities in southeast Fort Worth. All that's happening here at the same time.

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And Fort Worth's also had to be scrappy because we were a smaller community.

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We hovered around 500,000 people for over two decades.

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And then our explosive growth has now gotten us to almost a million.

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So we're now in the category with, you know, Dallas and Austin and Charlotte

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and all these other big places across the country.

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And we're starting to get noticed for the right reasons.

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And we're the fastest growing city for a reason. If you come here,

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people are moving here for a reason. And you might get here and say, why is it that more people want to live here?

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And it's just simply quality of life. Talk about that a lot. Why would anybody move across the country to a place like Fort Worth?

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And they feel something here and that air of opportunity I mentioned that's

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offered to them and their families or if they're building a business here as well.

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So you talked about Fort Worth and how it's grown. And you come from a small

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town, very small area, 80 miles southwest of Fort Worth. And it's called HICO?

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HICO. HICO. Okay. So you come from HICO and you really grew up on a farm.

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And could you talk a little bit about what that was like because you know some

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people see you sitting there and you're you know the mayor and you're in a suit

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but I think it's really interesting from where our leaders come.

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It definitely informs me. I grew up, like you said, in HICO.

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My family's ranch is about 15 minutes outside of HICO. So I was two miles down a dirt road.

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I said this a lot, but I had a party line until I was 14, which for someone

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my age was actually quite unique. We were pretty advanced in technology by then, just not on this dirt road.

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And for those listening that don't know what a party line is,

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that means you have to share a phone line with your neighbors.

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So I had a neighbor to each side of me, Fred and Bartine, and I'd have to get

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them off the phone in order to make a phone call. So I joke with my kids a lot.

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You're talking about technology now. I got at 16, my gift was an extra long

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phone cord that could drag the phone into my room, an old rotary phone.

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But I had a great upbringing, and I'm really proud of being from a small town.

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My graduating class was 42 students. I got a great education. I was able to go to UT Austin for undergraduate school.

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But being a part of a small community really does inform the way I like to lead today.

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My grandmother used to always tell me, if you don't want it on a billboard,

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don't say it. Because in a small town, it'll get repeated two times over.

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You couldn't get home from school if you'd done something stupid without your

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family knowing about it. Even before you got home? Oh, absolutely. Yeah.

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And I think that especially today with how prolific social media is and people

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will say and do anything online, it does cause me to pause because I just grew up in an environment where there

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was not a lot of anonymity even in the 80s and 90s and it helps that tremendously.

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Small Town Texas is special and I think it.

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Really, I grew up in a bubble in some ways, but at the same time was really

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fortunate to get to kind of spread my wings when I went off to college.

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Fort Worth still, like I said, is a large city, but it also has a lot of small

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town roots to it that have a connection to the way I was raised.

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Your parents were interesting from what I understand. They were a bit like hippies.

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Yeah. Oh yeah. What does that mean? Yeah.

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My parents were, you know, in college in the 60s and seventies,

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both college master's degree. My dad has a law degree, educated, but very much free spirits.

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My parents divorced when I was in high school. I spent a lot of time going to folk festivals and concerts. So I guess in some

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ways, I bring what you picture, the small town kid that was pretty sheltered,

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but being raised by two individuals who saw the world as a much bigger place.

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And I definitely had an Orthodox childhood in that way as well.

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Very interesting people. My mom was a ballerina until she had me at 33.

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She had to quit really to have children. I have a brother later at 37.

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So yeah, definitely interesting people. I spent a lot of time listening to music,

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sorting my dad's record albums, and going to concerts, which I think today makes

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me maybe a little more interesting. My depth of knowledge of classic rock is probably not that of an average millennial, I'll say that.

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And you had grandmothers that were involved in part of your raising?

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Yeah, really strong, but paternal and maternal grandmother. mother.

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My maternal grandparents lived there in HICO and I was with them almost every

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day. So they were a big part of my upbringing. And my maternal grandmother lived in Austin and she had a remarkable background.

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She's probably where I got my political interest, being honest.

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Her husband, my grandfather, who passed away when I was four,

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served as a state house member for Texas and then worked for LBJ as an assistant attorney general.

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Hearing her story, she was always incredibly motivated about what's happening,

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especially among women in politics. When Ann And Richard was governor. I remember my grandmother being so proud

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to get to see a female governor in the state of Texas was a sense of pride for her.

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I remember fondly her crying when Obama took the nomination for the Democrats.

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And it wasn't because she didn't like Senator Obama.

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It's because she really wanted to see a female president before she died.

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And she was ailing at the time. And she looked at me and said,

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I'm never going to see it. You know, but, you know, at least I got to see her go this far,

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which is a really sweet story. She was on Navy Wave, which was fascinating in World War II.

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She trained pilots on the technology utilized in different aircraft.

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That's how she met my grandfather. She was an incredible force for teaching me at a very young age what involvement looked like.

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You would almost thought she was a suffragette, even though she was too young

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for that movement, because she believed so strongly in a woman's place to have their voice heard.

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And that's ironic, Liz, because she was a homemaker.

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And she really stood behind my grandfather for all those years.

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But she had this fire about her that I oftentimes think to myself how proud

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she would have been that her only granddaughter became a mayor because she believed

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so much in civic responsibility in our democracy and especially women's voice in that.

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Yeah, it's actually a beautiful story because like I look at you and I think

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these young girls can look and see, oh, I can be a mayor and young boys,

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too, which is important. But I think we, and when I grew up, we didn't know that women could be a vice

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president or a president. And we're getting there. And so I think that that's an important message and

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that your grandmother, whether she was a homemaker or she was working,

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whatever she was doing, but she understood that this was something that we had to strive for.

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Yeah, she loves Stephanos. Yes, very well said.

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And in school, I'm just wondering, I always like to ask different leaders,

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was there a teacher who influenced you or somebody that motivated you?

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Besides calling your parents to tell you what you did wrong before you got home.

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No, I was a pretty boring, good kid. I was actually discussing this with my first cousin this weekend.

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She and I are like sisters. And we went through every grade level we had together

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with which teachers we had. And what an amazing landscape of education I received, even in a really small town.

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But I had a few really remarkable teachers in particular.

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One of them, his name is Gary Brister, who I still stay in really close contact with now.

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And he was mainly my high school UIL coach.

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So we would go to competitions in prose or acting, et cetera,

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that's in a lot of English classes with them. You could just tell he invested in me. He saw something special and spent a

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lot of time making sure that I was challenged and had that next level of support as needed.

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I told a funny story to students recently that when I got into UT and knew where

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I was going to live at Jester Dormitory, he let me tape off with masking tape

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in his classroom how big my dorm was going to be.

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And I would lay in it like, okay, I think I understand now what our living situation is going to be.

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And I got to pay it forward recently. His son applied for a really remarkable

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scholarship here in Texas, which he ended up receiving a full ride scholarship.

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And he needed letters of recommendation, also some coaching about what it looked like to interview.

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And I got to be with Regan and kind of walk him through that.

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It was kind of a special opportunity for me to just in my small way,

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pay it forward to his family who had been so special to me.

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Just as a good reminder, I'm sure you've talked to leaders about this.

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There are certain teachers, and that's just one example that really stick in your memory.

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Yeah. And I honestly can't count teachers that don't have that impact on me

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and knew that despite the fact we were in a small environment,

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they still had a responsibility to give an excellent education to the students

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who were there and make sure they could excel in whatever they chose to do.

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Yeah, that's beautiful. So about the work that you do and paying it forward, you have three children?

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Yes, we do. How do you balance that with three children, with being the mayor,

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with all the responsibilities. And I'm assuming you have a husband that is helpful. Yes. Yeah.

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We always tell, especially young women, pick a partner that supports you no

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matter what, because it matters immensely in what path you take.

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I mean, David, I've been married over 15 years now, and I'm sure when we got

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married, we never expected that at one point we'd embark on elected office like we have.

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And just to get through a campaign pain cycle alone takes a lot of partnership.

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And I'm very thankful that David's been supportive in that. As far as balance

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goes, we all get this question. And I think some weeks are just easier than others. Some weeks you feel like

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you're going to collapse and others feel like you haven't handled.

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It just depends on what's happening around you.

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I try to keep perspective as best I can and remember that when you're juggling

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the proverbial balls of your life and everything's up in the air,

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there are certain things you just can't drop. And my family and my children are certainly those priorities.

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I don't miss kids events at all possible unless it's just absolutely necessary.

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And we divide and conquer as best as possible. But I also try,

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and this is be honest with you, mom guilt is real.

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And sometimes you can't overcome that. And it is interesting to me, even for men in elected office that have children,

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they're often not asked that question.

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And they won't be able to answer that. Most of the men that I work with that

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are contemporaries are balancing a lot of the same things that I'm balancing as a parent in office.

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I think the difference is for women, there's such an emotional connection to

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our role as mothers that maybe is worn more outwardly than for men.

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And we're known for that piece of it. So society naturally just sort of puts

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that on them. How are you handling this? How do you manage the household?

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But I have a lot of successful girlfriends. They may not be on the front page

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of the paper with their job, but they're balancing the same types of things I am.

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Work travel and when kids events are, what the calendar looks like and a babysitter

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that's sick and all the things that happen are real life for us.

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But I think it's good perspective, especially as a policymaker today,

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because it grounds me every single day and making sure we're making decisions

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that are balanced and steeped in reality and not far removed from what the day-to-day

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Fort Worthian or American really lives with.

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Yeah. You know, recently, and I appreciate that because mom guilt is real,

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not getting it all done and just understanding sometimes you're just not going

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going to finish everything. I interviewed and spoke with Colin Allred recently. And one of the things he

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said, which I thought was so interesting was he, he said, you know,

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when I go to the nursery school, people are like, Oh, he, the father was there. He was there.

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And when my wife goes, it's just expected. So he was even acknowledging like

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that when she's there, nobody says, Oh, I'm so glad, you know, you know, she's there.

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So it's just an interesting perspective. And to hear from a male leader understanding

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that his wife is not getting the celebration of showing up and he is when she's

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the one doing most of the work. Yeah, absolutely. It's enlightened on his part to even recognize that in the first place. Yeah.

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Yeah. And I thought that was a good point. I think sometimes it gets confused

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when women bring this up. It's like, okay, you're just making a feminist comment.

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You're wanting more credit. That actually is not it at all. I just recognize

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that most families today split those responsibilities.

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It's a way of life today that families are having to make sure they're partnered in the right way.

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And to cast that only onto women and that guilt that already comes with that is incredibly unfair.

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And recognizing that, like everything, we all have seasons in life.

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And we all have times when we're more focused on family or more focused on work.

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And it all creates a balance somehow. But for some women, Women are really hard on each other about what that looks like. Yes, yes.

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Having said that, what is the best advice you've ever received or the worst advice?

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Best advice is probably to always attempt to take care of yourself first.

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Put the oxygen mask on before you try to help other people around you.

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And that is difficult as women, but I'm at my best self if I am physically taking

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care of myself active and making sure I have a break and reading when I want to read.

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And getting away and disconnecting. And to your point, you can't get it all done.

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You can't be at all the things and recognizing when you need to unplug has been really important.

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The other piece of advice work-wise is you have two ears for a reason. You have to listen.

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But when you do speak, especially for women in leadership, and I feel this acutely in this role that I'm in.

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I only get one chance. I get one first impression. And it is different for me

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as a young woman in this office. And I'm sure when I was elected, I know there were a lot of people that made

20:36

assumptions about my age at 37. Was I prepared? Was I qualified?

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And it was remarkable as when I would open my mouth, when I would speak in an

20:44

event or be in a forum or handle something in the dais, I would almost get this

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like pat on the head, man, you're incredibly intelligent.

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You you can handle yourself. I was like, God, you would never say that to,

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you know, a contemporary that was, you know, maybe an older age or,

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you know, a man specifically, but just using that to challenge myself and to always be better and use it to

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my advantage because I'd like being underestimated in some way.

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Exactly. And then you show up and, you know, then they're like, wow. Right. Yeah.

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Okay. So now I'm going to ask you some rapid questions. They're basically just to get to know you.

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They're easy. I think they're softballs. They're pretty easy.

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Hopefully they're fun. What is your favorite sound?

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The ocean. What is your favorite color? Blue. What is your favorite smell?

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My babies. I don't know how to smell that again, but why do newborn babies smell so good? I know. I know.

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And who is your biggest cheerleader? If you were on a desert island and you

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could have one meal delivered, what would that be?

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A chicken fried steak. Ah, that's pretty Pretty good. Would it come with other

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things or just chicken fries? Mashed potatoes, gravy, or okra.

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Sounds good. That's a Southern specialty, you know. Yeah. Yeah. You exercise?

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I'm a runner. Yes. Okay, good. And when you run, do you listen to music?

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Do you have a playlist? Do you have music that- It depends. Usually not. I run with a group of women early, early in the morning and we

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don't have any music playing. We just chit chat with each other. Oh, nice.

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But I'm very, when I work it by myself, yes, absolutely. I do have a playlist.

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What is your highlights on your playlist? Oh, I think right now it's probably between...

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You'll laugh at this. Between Foo Fighters and Taylor Swift,

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probably have equal playing like that type of music.

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So I'm a little bit of a contradiction. Okay, that's a good one.

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Household chores. What's your favorite household chore? To sweep.

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Clean the floors. Yeah. Okay. And if you were going to pick a superpower,

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what would Mayor Parker's superpower be? Time travel.

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Okay. Where would you go? Or which direction would you go?

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So I think sometimes I really reflect on the ability to go back and watch yourself

22:53

during a certain period of your life that maybe it makes you feel better or

22:59

more proud of something you've done today. That makes sense.

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Yeah, it does. And if you and your husband could go anywhere in the world on

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a trip, where would you all go? I think we would probably be in Hawaii.

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Sounds good. Okay. So my last question, which I have asked everybody the same

23:18

exact question, and I love the answers because they're very different and yet

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they all are, they're really beautiful. So my question is about joy.

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What is joy to you? What brings you joy?

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And if you have joy, how can you share it to make other people's lives better

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or more fulfilled? filled. And obviously being a leader, you have things that are joyful as a leader,

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but joyful as a mother, joyful as a woman.

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I think for me, when I think about times when I'm joyful, is it's all about connection, right?

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Is it with your family or your friends? Are you connected in a way that feels

23:54

really intimate? Is there laughter? Are there tears? Are there things that are incredibly authentic and meaningful?

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And I think that also translates to work, right? If If you're joyful in work,

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it's because you've connected to something in a way that's incredibly meaningful

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and you felt like you've made a difference because of that connection.

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It makes you joyful in that space. I think the other thing I would say about joy is recognizing there's probably a spectrum.

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And it depends on what the situation is. And sometimes in your personal life,

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your joy feels almost like a high, whereas in your professional life,

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it makes you feel grounded in the reason why you're doing something.

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So, and I've noticed that about myself. When I feel disconnected,

24:33

when I feel like I'm just going through the motions, you take the joy out of whatever you're doing.

24:39

And I think that's especially true in public service. You can be pretty jaded

24:43

sometimes and just go through the motions and forget what your why is in the first place.

24:47

And and it should be you should be

24:50

able to find joy in whatever you're doing especially in

24:54

work because you spend so much time doing it and sometimes

24:57

pausing to reflect on that is very important or you

25:00

should be doing something else all together if you're not finding joy in it

25:02

yeah no i think that's it's it's very true and the part about sometimes we just

25:07

go through the motions and we don't stop to say what we appreciate or to look

25:12

around and you know look around at who's around us and what we're doing.

25:17

And one of the things that I want to say thank you, because you really shared

25:21

a lot that I believe people want to hear.

25:24

You know, we talked about people being entrenched. We talk about people not speaking.

25:28

And what this purpose of this podcast is that people can.

25:33

Whether they are from anywhere in the United States, I mean,

25:36

it's a podcast anywhere in the world, but to like really understand what you

25:40

are doing as a leader, as a woman, and that this is really about trying to make

25:45

other people's lives better. And if we don't come together and talk and you don't come together and work

25:50

with the different people in your community, those things don't happen and we go crazy.

25:55

One of the most important things about human beings is the connectivity.

25:59

And so I really appreciate this time and I really appreciate hearing about your

26:04

grandmothers and where you come from and the party line.

26:08

And so So I just want to say thank you and keep being a powerful leader and

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showing everybody who may have a low expectation.

26:17

You're a young woman, that you are pretty special and you are going to really

26:21

show people what you can do to make this world a better place for so many people.

26:24

Well, I appreciate that, Liz. Thank you. What a meaningful way to spend time on a podcast.

26:28

There's plenty of political fodder out there. There's other places people can

26:31

get that. But I think to humanize the people that are in elected office is very important.

26:35

And especially for women. I mean, arguably, more women are made caricature whether

26:39

they're Democrats or Republicans right now and what talking head network that they're on.

26:43

And yeah, that makes me sad because even if they're willing to be that person

26:47

deep inside there somewhere is a mom, is a wife, is someone that's trying to go through their day.

26:53

And we're not characters on some show, right?

26:56

We're, we're trying to lead meaningful roles, meaningful lives in those roles.

26:59

So thank you for doing this. Well, thank you. And I look forward to coming to Fort Worth and meeting you.

27:03

I know you have to come visit us. We'd love that Liz. I will. Thank you so much.

27:10

Hi, it's Liz. Please join me every Tuesday for coffee to talk about heart and

27:14

humanity with our elected leaders. Remember to hit subscribe to get an alert when a new episode is live and for

27:20

exclusive content. Ciao.