0:10

The. Bugle. Audio Newspaper for a visual

0:12

world. Hello Buglers, A Welcome Juju Four thousand,

0:15

Three Hundred and Two of the Bugle The

0:17

audio newspaper that has been holding up the

0:19

mirror to this visual well since Two Thousand

0:21

and Seven, albeit holding it up at such

0:24

an angle the only can see and it

0:26

is the sport on the telly. I'm and

0:28

results when we are recording on Friday the

0:30

third of May. Twenty Twenty Four. Just eight

0:33

months to go until the halfway point of

0:35

what has been thus far a disappointing decade

0:37

for the remaining fabric on Earth and the

0:39

human race. But. Still time to pull it

0:42

back and to try jolt this decade back

0:44

towards some vague sense of trying to be

0:46

a little bit less shit as it hits

0:48

middle age. No judgment of will be no.

0:50

I'm joined by two people who have experienced

0:53

every single day of the decade so far.

0:56

And of us uniquely qualified to

0:58

pass judgment on the most recent

1:00

few days with plus someone who's

1:03

only recently joined the Tecate. Also,

1:05

two minutes on the go from

1:07

Australia, Alice Fraser plus hours phrases

1:09

latest baby and. From London. Alice

1:12

The Barry Hello to all three

1:14

of you. Hello Hello Yes sir.

1:16

I'm sorry I forgot my baby.

1:20

That's an entirely different pot of ah.

1:22

So we're recording on the third of

1:24

my Twenty Twenty Four, which is world

1:26

Stop Believing all the shit you read

1:29

on the internet. They are also world

1:31

keep things in perspective, died and World

1:33

com. We inform yourself about all sides

1:35

of an issue or argument before spouting

1:38

off about it online. Sadly, all of

1:40

those. Days have been cancelled. Once

1:42

once again, I'm on the fourth

1:44

of May. And sixteen, twenty six,

1:46

the Dutch explore a pita minuet.

1:49

Arrived on what is now Manhattan Island

1:51

and soon as a legend goes, he

1:54

purchased the City of New York ap

1:56

a knock down price of around twenty

1:58

four dollars on a box. The jungle

2:00

setting and train a chain of real estate

2:02

chicanery interest story that pretty much leads and

2:04

a direct cause and effect line to Donald

2:06

Trump sitting in a Coke courtroom farting in

2:08

the moon as we speak. The name of

2:11

the city of course comes from the noise

2:13

minuet made when told the asking price. yeah

2:15

I. See up.sight

2:17

of.yikes Snow me to another control

2:19

his excitement stupid other other An

2:21

absolute bargains are morale A Far

2:24

as I write, I'm actually the

2:26

Us out that festival to Funny

2:28

Bone. I didn't know a hypothesis.

2:30

That because it was like the anglicised to

2:32

York when better run got a to Britain

2:34

A rumor is it was come back That

2:37

having comes back round of are rumors that

2:39

minuet not not the price down even further

2:41

during negotiations due to traffic noise, the price

2:43

of coffee in the fact that he wasn't

2:45

allowed to build a casino in Central Park

2:47

i was a cause lab and that and

2:49

sixteen Twenty Six is shrouded in the in

2:51

incompletions influx of history. What I'm telling you

2:53

now is probably just as true as the

2:55

average of all news emanating from New York

2:57

at to dice on the six of my.

3:00

In Fifteen Twenty seven, just

3:02

swap. four hundred. Ninety Seven

3:05

sure is ago. Rome was

3:07

sacked again. Or

3:10

mean it was sat quite a lot.

3:12

Roman when you yelled at me and

3:14

fired like the minds. Of

3:17

those I fired Sunday during Nero's time and

3:19

and cream the other times as well. Why

3:21

was Rome sense? Well apparently then two thousand

3:23

children eight year old city of started turning

3:25

up late in the mornings, not completing stuff

3:27

in time and falling well short of it's

3:30

Kp. Eyes in successive quarterly review of the for

3:32

some talk about a containing an excessive number of

3:34

things and naked Willies own it's ceilings of the

3:36

buses when happy with of the time so have

3:39

to go and when you get sucked out of

3:41

and run. Maybe the problem is you know the

3:43

job site circles than when freelance and as as

3:45

he probably happier now does tootling long as an

3:48

antiques museum and visitor center rather than that during

3:50

his old high stress jobs of running and path

3:52

or a religion so well as soon as many

3:54

as gotta consider the suffering of Rome Fifteen twenty

3:56

seven to mark the end of the are nice

3:59

on split. As good as

4:01

what I disagree with that puts of

4:03

this is what are wonderfully subjects of

4:05

the see someone of his movies etc

4:07

is just enjoyed his own. Masons are

4:10

very not for an absolute marxist I

4:12

have. Another

4:14

one celtics. Disappointing

4:16

closing ceremony for their innocence and the sick

4:19

of Roman. Fifteen Twenty Seven and Eighty Ninety

4:21

Nine on the Sick The My The Eiffel

4:23

Tower was discovered. saw the three hundred and

4:25

thirty meter high metal prom was found by

4:27

archaeologist Gus. the Eiffel was he was looking

4:29

for proven. That knuckles had invented the bicycle

4:31

and sheets hands and around soon to be

4:34

site's privacy thy just been a three hundred

4:36

and thirty one meter high mound of earth

4:38

s and don't have ever thought to dig

4:40

it up and save those anything underneath the

4:43

new One of Us History podcast Rule over

4:45

the Race and from a Muslim fundamentalists who

4:47

field lived as always a section of a

4:49

big was going straight in the paint, this

4:51

point averages or it's National Beverage Day on

4:54

Monday. The six or so we look at

4:56

the state of beverages and the future of

4:58

or drinking in general is liquid. Can

5:00

be the next previously champions cultural hero

5:02

to be cancelled. After all, Liquid has

5:04

played a role in most of the

5:06

great atrocities of human history or which

5:08

been before my people who are often

5:10

traveled and boats or drink water or

5:12

also we look at why young people

5:14

are turning against drinking anything they so

5:17

she had something like that with their

5:19

parents' generation especially especially the a post

5:21

will Boomer generation and now rejecting it

5:23

out of hand, they prefer to spend

5:25

time on Instagram and Co become the

5:27

first entirely desiccated generation since ancient Egyptian

5:29

times like an. Amazing however than comes

5:31

back and cycles. Also, with tea and

5:33

coffee facing an uncertain future due to

5:35

global warming and even musk wanting to

5:37

replace or plans with garden gnomes within

5:39

ten years, could we soon be drinking

5:41

an infusion? might have unwanted kittens, obsolete

5:43

mobile phones and Locus plasma out too

5:45

soon to tell. And what will be

5:47

the new milk of the out soy

5:49

lentil parents and omens We look at

5:51

the potential for potato milk relic of

5:53

I'd let doesn't hold cement and well

5:55

sweat to take over. The towel replacement

5:57

industries are all that. In the been.

6:05

What? America is angry,

6:08

happiness and pretty much the top story

6:10

every week since read about seventeen Seventy

6:12

Six or something some what does that

6:14

one of the bus and sleep semi

6:16

seventy three Seventy Seven Zeigler that I'm

6:19

a as so discuss of their phones

6:21

on the deal but it's basically angry

6:23

at this week. other been student rebellion

6:25

against American Middle East policy which currently

6:28

stands or haven't checked this in the

6:30

last as three minutes am that turn

6:32

official American government Middle East policy is

6:34

asking Benjamin Netanyahu quite. Nicely not use

6:36

the weapons they're still sending him so

6:38

I said serious complex situation. The police

6:41

got involved and unusually did not apply

6:43

the usual delicate light touch, sensitivity, tension

6:45

times and even handedness. an aggravation avoidance

6:47

that The Marketplace aside globally renowned for

6:49

i'm more than two thousand people have

6:51

been arrested. Knowing that that's out of

6:53

almost twenty million students in the Usa

6:55

of us, still quite a lot to

6:57

go before the Prince of arrested all

6:59

the students and potential trouble might as

7:01

Joe Biden has defended the right to

7:03

protest but not the right to cause

7:05

chaos. with something as the opposite

7:07

of what his presidential election opponent

7:09

beliefs are so ah as a

7:11

result well america was in a

7:13

state of some other of of

7:16

cement. His other royal is that

7:18

right is open houses they sort

7:20

of. Us citizens to lead

7:22

to that is filming and new

7:24

and fashionable com the chess nice

7:26

cook not as cool cracking down

7:28

on protesters at American colleges at

7:30

they call them college campuses the

7:32

says slates and on us the

7:34

as a we call colleges universities

7:36

and police crackdown sitting people. In

7:40

America everyone's either wrong or

7:42

annoyance to leave. That

7:45

says that they do with a stand in front of

7:47

each other in a protest situation south in directly into

7:49

one another. Now the flights. The. love song at

7:51

the end of an opera sizes as the

7:53

other participant season said that they then they

7:56

get to do a lawsuit say like like

7:58

hustling at each other like netball players trying

8:00

to do everything short of a foul, trying

8:02

to slap the moral high ground out of

8:04

the other person's hands. A

8:08

lot of people are characterising these protesters proof

8:10

that the youth are alright, standing up for

8:12

what they believe in and putting themselves on

8:14

the line for their belief in a better

8:16

world, much like the hippies did protesting against

8:18

the Vietnam War and how their belief that

8:20

the activated youth was a precursor to

8:23

a morally better generation than the one

8:25

before. And I think we

8:27

can all look at how the baby boomer

8:29

generation turned out after their youth of protest

8:31

and think, ah shit. I

8:36

mean it is clearly a delicate

8:38

balance Alastair, the right

8:40

to protest, legitimate expressions of support

8:43

for the various different arguments in

8:46

this infinitely complex situation in

8:48

the Middle East. But it

8:50

does raise a problem, how does protest cope with

8:53

complexity and nuance? Because without using

8:55

banners that are 250,000 words

8:58

long containing a doctorate level of exploration of

9:00

the infinitely difficult history and politics of the

9:02

Middle East, it is kind of hard to

9:04

really express what needs

9:06

to be expressed about this situation. Well

9:09

it is that kind of template for so many

9:11

similar comedy routines about imagine a strike on

9:14

this, what do we want? A global re-enalagement

9:16

of that, when do we want it? At

9:18

some point you have to fill in your own

9:21

blanks really. What slightly irritates

9:23

me more than anything else is the

9:25

big news story at the moment is

9:27

protests in American universities as opposed to

9:30

an absolutely horrific bloodbath

9:32

in Gaza. And that does seem to

9:34

be slightly missing the point but that

9:36

is very much humanity's default

9:38

setting. I think as Alan said

9:40

it is always interesting to see in this point how

9:43

very good it is that English British

9:45

police don't possess guns. Because I don't know

9:48

if you have ever seen them in a

9:50

run-in with the EDL or any, every time

9:52

someone mentions that someone may

9:54

have criticised Winston Churchill's shoe polish

9:56

in 1963. A

9:58

huge gang of thugs. erupt onto the

10:00

street, stand around his stature and protect it from

10:03

absolutely no one. You've got a bunch of people

10:05

getting out of each other and a number of

10:07

policemen who, to be honest, give as good as

10:09

they get, but with batons, you do think, Christ,

10:11

if these guys had guns, I mean, it wouldn't

10:13

have been the miners' strike, would it? It would

10:16

have been the, you know, the Skargill massacre. And

10:18

so the only thing that's actually united

10:21

anyone, if you saw that tweet, was

10:23

students on either side shouting, **** you,

10:25

Biden, together, which was the ones, like,

10:27

you could see them on their faces,

10:29

almost the relief of going, yeah, sometimes

10:31

we all agree with, which is **** you,

10:34

Biden. And that, what do we get then?

10:36

Trump. So we're about to square one. Well,

10:38

I mean, this is the only way now

10:40

that politics can bring people together in an

10:43

age that is now so polarised that

10:45

basically everyone hates everything. So we have these

10:47

little moments of unity where they all shout,

10:50

**** Joe Biden. But then that's going to

10:52

then disintegrate as they argue over exactly the

10:54

correct reason that Joe Biden

10:56

should go **** himself. And America,

10:59

can America prove truly that it

11:01

is once again, the coherent nation

11:03

that never actually was, by having proud shouts,

11:05

**** Joe Biden and

11:07

**** Donald Trump at the same time

11:10

at each other? Literally no one

11:13

turning up to the next election

11:15

whatsoever as a protest vote. It

11:17

turns out, Joe Biden, I feel like

11:20

the possible solution here is just to drop

11:22

him in the Middle East and see if

11:24

we can get both sides chanting Joe Biden at his

11:28

might be a first step towards peace.

11:30

It turns out that by presenting himself

11:32

as an almost completely middle of the

11:34

road, hail fellow well-met benevolent grandpa who

11:36

likes ice cream, he's managed to infuriate

11:38

people on all six sides

11:41

of politics, which is an achievement.

11:43

Right. Only six. I'd

11:46

say there's hundreds more sides of

11:48

politics now. Didn't they discover a Roman

11:50

dodecahedron last week in some archaeological dig,

11:53

which probably explains why it was sacked.

11:55

Just to go back to the difficulty

11:58

of expressing everything that needs to be. expressed in

12:00

a placard or a chant.

12:04

Like I said, 250,000 words, I reckon, minimum

12:06

to explore anything legitimate about the whole Middle

12:09

East situation. Now, that would be a 35-hour

12:11

chant, and that's without. That's

12:16

just one rather than it being

12:18

a call and repeat, which obviously would take it up to

12:20

the 70-hour mark. For a

12:22

decently legible banner or placard, I reckon you

12:24

can have a maximum of five letters per

12:27

meter, going in an average of six letters

12:29

per word, possibly longer if it gets

12:31

into real academic level exploration,

12:34

and allowing for space between letters plus punctuation. I reckon

12:36

that would require a banner that is

12:39

around 340 kilometers or 210 miles long, with

12:42

letters around 30 centimeters or

12:44

a foot high, plus a bit of spacing between

12:46

lines for legibility, breaking

12:48

into columns with some white space to make

12:50

it easier on the eye. That would be

12:52

a rectangular placard that I think would be

12:55

280 meters high by 600 meters wide, and

12:58

that's without footnotes, graphs, maps,

13:00

diagrams, timelines, statistical appendices, or

13:03

a comprehensive bibliography. So that

13:05

kind of shows how

13:07

difficult it is and why these

13:09

protests create such hostility between the

13:12

sides. I

13:14

almost sense you're mocking the idea, Andy,

13:16

whereas I think what you're failing to

13:18

appreciate, that creating a placard of that

13:20

magnificence would be the kind of communal

13:22

effort that could really bring people together in

13:24

a way that almost nothing else could. Yes.

13:28

Yes, anyway, if you do have any

13:30

solutions for the Middle East situation, do

13:32

please send them in. I

13:35

feel like Joe Biden's next move

13:37

is to infuriate even more people

13:39

by misgendering J.K. Rowling, thereby angering

13:42

all sides at once. Well,

13:45

I've said this many times before. I

13:48

can't remember if I had said this on the

13:50

bugle, but we do need a unifying nemesis to

13:53

bring the world together. In the past, I have suggested

13:55

this should be the New Zealand national cricket team. Because,

13:59

you know, no one hates it. the New Zealand, you know,

14:01

the very popular team, they all seem perfectly nice,

14:03

but you know, their captain Kane Williamson has never

14:06

explicitly condemned Joseph Stalin for the atrocities he

14:08

committed as leader of the Soviet Union, so

14:10

maybe the world can come together. He

14:13

would make it very likeable, equinimitous kind

14:15

of guy, I'm sure he would accept for

14:17

the greater good of humanity. Maybe

14:20

he could be deployed to the Middle East, and his,

14:23

you know, his perfectly technically correct batting, I

14:25

think, would just soothe the general situation. And they

14:27

just basically set up a cricket net somewhere in

14:30

the Middle East with Kane Williamson batting against

14:32

the bowling machine, and I can't see how

14:34

everything wouldn't be fixed. I think

14:37

you could enlarge that, I think it's a wonderful plan,

14:39

I think you could possibly enlarge it to generally just

14:41

sending New Zealanders out across the

14:43

way. Doesn't it just have to be

14:45

Kane Williamson with his textbook structural batting?

14:47

I think you could look, a nation

14:49

that grew up in a land with

14:51

absolutely no natural predators and developed a

14:53

sort of slightly benign but delightful kind

14:55

of persona in comparison to their nearest

14:58

neighbours who grew up with every single

15:00

predator on the planet attempting to murder

15:02

them. Just send Kiwi

15:04

out across the world and just go, I

15:07

think, you know, just

15:09

turning up in the middle of Gaza to

15:11

a crowd shouting, f*** you Joe Biden, this

15:13

white-haired man eating ice cream, and just say,

15:16

man, we take a few overs

15:18

with you. I think that does also explain

15:20

why New Zealand got so good at rugby,

15:22

that it found an activity that gave it

15:24

the sense of there being predators out there

15:26

to make the noise like things hunting them

15:29

down and threatening physical violence. So let's move

15:32

on now to other news in America,

15:34

and the latest from the

15:37

trial of Donald Trump, the

15:39

former and potentially future

15:42

president, was that stick in the crawl

15:45

of humanity as much as they did

15:47

when we first uttered them, as

15:49

the beagle came back in October 2016, just

15:53

weeks before he was elected for the

15:56

first time. He was fined $9,000 this week by the judge.

16:00

and warned he could be jailed for a month

16:03

if he continues breaching court orders

16:06

and attacking witnesses

16:09

in his case. I mean, I'm not sure a month.

16:12

I think he probably want a little bit more than

16:14

that. I mean, I think if he can do the

16:16

whole election campaign from jail, I think he will consider

16:18

that to be given a better chance of winning in

16:21

November. He's also, during the

16:24

case, he's fallen asleep. He's

16:26

allegedly admitted nasally disharmonious gaseous

16:28

ex-flagrutions. And

16:32

this is the kind of footage of

16:34

him seemingly dozing off. I read one

16:36

expert saying it's possible that he could

16:38

have been meditating. Now, without

16:40

wishing to judge a book by its

16:42

cover, its author, its publisher, its publicity

16:44

blurb and above all its contents, I

16:46

would suggest that Donald Trump does not

16:48

seem like a natural meditator,

16:51

someone who turns to meditation to

16:53

give him spiritual calm.

16:56

I don't think that's his

16:58

his mo. Alice, obviously, you've

17:00

lived in in New

17:02

York, you you've been a lawyer. Obviously,

17:04

this this this is just all your

17:06

dream news stories come together as one,

17:08

is it not? Well, yes,

17:11

obviously, it's sort of difficult to

17:13

know whether by falling asleep during

17:15

his trial, Donald Trump is either

17:18

aged or contemptuous of the

17:20

trial process, or on the other hand,

17:23

is committing a deeply poignant

17:25

and meaningful satire about the

17:27

boringness of the legal system

17:30

and the illegitimacy of this trial

17:32

process. And really, who can know

17:34

at this point, until

17:37

there's a decision of fact made by the

17:39

judge in the court, of course,

17:41

the judge did just find him $9,000 for

17:44

contempt of court and may

17:46

put him in jail, if he continues

17:48

to be contemptuous, of course. But

17:51

I feel like certainly Trump

17:54

doesn't believe in the old I think it

17:56

is Greek saying you snooze you lose.

17:58

Yes, that was I think Aristotle

18:01

was, although that may have come

18:03

in directly from Socrates via

18:05

Plato before Aristotle wrote it down. Very much

18:07

a post-Hemlock view, I

18:09

think. Yeah, I

18:12

mean we can all agree that Trump is on the side

18:14

of the gods. Sorry, the dog's playing. I

18:20

do like the suggestion that he could

18:22

meditate. A man whose entire subconscious seems

18:24

to operate with caps lock on. He

18:28

is in a position, I think the judge

18:30

has played it really quite well by just

18:32

saying, nope, that's what I'm allowed to do.

18:34

I would go more, I would threaten jail

18:36

time, but 9 grand. And then there's another

18:38

4 grand was asked for yesterday, whether that

18:40

comes through or not, you don't know. But

18:43

playing due process with Donald Trump strikes me

18:45

as the simplest way to annoy him. He

18:50

sat there, and he comes

18:52

out and complains in that kind of

18:55

vestibule. It's on the 15th floor, and

18:57

he's just an old man shouting an

18:59

Echoey corridor. And it really kind of

19:01

strips away layers of orange

19:04

foundation to show you who he is.

19:06

We will have full exclusive coverage of

19:09

the old men shouting in an Echoey

19:11

corridor at each other over the

19:13

next few months as we head towards the election. But

19:15

who are going to be the running mates? The one

19:17

potential running mate for Donald Trump as

19:19

vice presidential candidate, Kristy

19:22

Noem, this week has

19:24

been defending herself against

19:26

accusations that she killed a young

19:29

dog and a goat. Accusations

19:31

level that by herself.

19:38

She's claimed the news

19:40

reports are fake news, which given that it

19:42

was directly quoting her own book, is an

19:44

impressive leap of bullshit even by a Trumpian

19:46

standard. I'm going to leave aside the fact that

19:48

the dog was called Cricket. And

19:51

the dog, it was only 14

19:53

months old, but she's not the first person to think

19:55

that Cricket had gone on too long, or that Cricket

19:57

had become too loud even, but those people don't know.

20:00

But the question is,

20:03

will this damage her or

20:05

is Trump's supporter base going

20:07

to be unsatisfied with a running mate

20:10

who has only killed a dog and a

20:12

goat on just one day

20:14

of gratuitous animal slaying? Is that enough

20:17

to endear herself to the core Republican supporters?

20:19

I'm not sure it is. Well,

20:21

she did respond to the scandal about the killing

20:23

of the dog and the goat by mentioning that she had also

20:25

just killed three horses. Three

20:28

horses who were family friends who had brought up

20:30

her daughter. So I think you're absolutely right. She's

20:34

used the tales of animal slaughter in her book to

20:36

prove that she's got what it takes to make it

20:38

in the cutthroat goat shoot

20:41

world of politics and that she's willing to

20:43

do anything from puppy put down to horse

20:45

murder if it'll help her political ambitions. I

20:49

feel like the next move for Chrissy Noem

20:51

is to shoot two of any animals and

20:53

call it Noem's Ark. I

20:56

think we all need to take a little break at this point. Just

20:59

just let that sit there. UK

21:07

election news now and well, we've been

21:10

going to the polls this

21:12

week for local elections where voting was yesterday

21:14

as we record the results are well, some

21:16

of them have come through some of them

21:18

still to come through the mayoral elections in

21:21

various cities have not yet been announced the

21:23

ruling party if that's the right word,

21:25

which it is the sort of ruling Conservative

21:30

Party have had a

21:32

better than deserved results at the

21:34

these elections with more than 0% of

21:37

the electorate voting for them for reasons that

21:39

remain unclear. The results have not yet complete,

21:41

but it looks like the Conservatives have somehow

21:43

and somehow clung on to almost

21:46

half of their local council seats. Now this

21:48

is being presented as a disaster for

21:50

the Conservatives losing over half of their seats.

21:53

I would say it's a miracle that they've got any.

21:56

So rather than the absolutely no whatever

21:59

seats that they see. to be aiming for

22:01

given the unceasing shitstorm of anti-competence and national

22:03

crumbling they've been excreting onto this country for

22:05

years. Nonetheless, not looking too rosy for interim

22:07

Prime Minister Rishi Sunak, or as he's now

22:10

known Rishi Sun, my pretty soon it will

22:12

all be over, ack, when

22:14

it never works. There are rumours that

22:17

Tory MPs could be contemplating ditching

22:19

Sunak before the general election, they are

22:22

sadly legally obliged to call within the

22:24

next nine months, perhaps thinking they might

22:26

find another leader who can

22:29

lead them to an even heavier electoral defeat

22:31

than Sunak is taking at the moment. Just

22:34

to prove how the system they've been running for almost a decade

22:36

and a half is so stacked against them. Sunak, the

22:38

person who we should remind ourselves

22:40

constantly, began his tenure by losing

22:42

to Liz Truss. Yes,

22:47

so it's tough

22:50

for Sunak at the moment, Alistair. You

22:52

are our floundering Prime Minister correspondent on

22:54

the bugle. Exactly,

22:57

what level of flounder would you say

22:59

that? Well I'd say, as the floundering

23:01

Prime Minister spoke, it's been a busy

23:03

few years, as Alistair just alluded to.

23:05

My local elections, obviously Alistair's coming in

23:08

from Australia, so I'm sure you're probably

23:10

on the edge of your seat. My

23:13

local election, there was only one seat was up for

23:15

the local police commissioner in the Hertfordshire

23:18

area, and as yet, still unknown.

23:21

But I think, I mean the local election is

23:23

always funny because the kind of, the way

23:26

it's, every single pundit on every side, you can

23:29

just predict exactly what they're going to say. The

23:31

incumbent is always going to say it's midterm and

23:33

it's very difficult. Labour's going to say that any

23:35

win is a joy even if it's only crawling

23:37

over the line. As you

23:40

say, the idea that anyone could

23:42

vote Conservative at this point in

23:44

their administrative capabilities is utterly beyond

23:46

me. He's going to wait

23:48

till the last possible minute. The last possible

23:50

minute, like most things, may not

23:52

be in his hands anymore because I suspect if there

23:54

is a leadership challenge he'll just say, solve It

23:56

and go to the Country. But Whenever

23:59

he goes to the country, I think

24:01

the country is going to be a

24:03

joy. the code to him go good

24:05

piracy. I'm yes well they a Monday

24:07

was are those a parliamentary by in

24:09

Blackpool South in the items of does

24:11

but the ball I've interviewed by like

24:13

losing and I'm massively are they won

24:15

the seat in the turning on teens

24:18

our election I'm at ways ah a

24:20

brown about so so me this fi

24:22

they wanna see in the Twenty nineteen

24:24

General election with a majority of almost

24:26

four thousand and over fifteen thousand votes

24:28

Yes they they got three thousand two

24:30

hundred votes around a fifth of the

24:32

votes they go in. The election was

24:34

a lower turnout by of a massive

24:37

swing against a consensus is Pilates was

24:39

called off to the the Mp Scott

24:41

Benson. Had

24:43

to step down. have been caught by

24:45

newspapers think I'm in which he suggested

24:47

that he was willing to break parliamentary

24:49

lobbying rules in exchange for money. Now

24:51

I'm just not on Wednesday nights. That

24:54

should be a resignation offense to me.

24:56

Those are the kind of skills that

24:58

bricks and mortar a number. A suspect

25:00

in top level politics. To get these

25:02

elusive trade deals with the world, we

25:05

need to be able. We need to

25:07

be willing and able to do absolutely

25:09

anything we need. Morals left in the

25:11

brain, where they belong Hill, line em

25:14

all Up Living died since they were

25:16

not after he should have been made

25:18

trade secretary not found it out of

25:20

his job or choosing. I do think

25:22

the phrase caught in the newspaper stig

25:25

is incredibly charitable to produce by Brush

25:27

was almost more like he walked into

25:29

a newspaper. Offices and

25:31

said that he won gotta sting like.

25:35

A synthesis. Yesterday

25:41

Boris Johnson turned up to vote at

25:43

Sir at a polling station and fail

25:46

to bring photo Id. Now known a

25:48

lot of countries have acted bring photo

25:50

Id for for years, but it's a

25:53

new law in Britain that was brought

25:55

in by Boris Johnson's and younger when

25:57

he was prime minister. We started. The

26:00

to bring photo or idea was

26:02

a law foisted on the country

26:04

stroke passed by democratically elected government,

26:06

deleted news and preference. I don't

26:08

have enough that beat both equally

26:10

true out of I'm It was

26:12

brought in in order to track

26:14

to crack down on the statistically

26:16

essentially to all practical purposes completely

26:18

non existent problem of polling station

26:20

voter fraud brought in by Boris

26:22

Johnson who let us not forget

26:24

will then allowed think terrorists almost

26:26

forced to personally choose friends, buddies,

26:28

colleagues, make acquaintances. And the like

26:30

to become permanent lifelong members of parliament in

26:33

the House of Lords. and his resignation or

26:35

misused and yet in an impressive be british

26:37

blast of willfully myopic double standards a party.

26:40

The real problem is the handful of people

26:42

voting bogus li at elections that makes no

26:44

difference anyway and are uterus electoral system that

26:46

was a real problem anyway so was brought

26:49

in to safeguard our democracy which is fancy

26:51

political jargon for to start of a to

26:53

try to stop people voting you probably won't

26:56

vote for us. And then Boris Johnson evidently

26:58

forgot his of law which is. Absolutely

27:00

own brand of for for jobs and

27:02

I'm so anyway it's a cabinet since

27:04

it's this was of the on one

27:06

of these classic stories that in itself

27:09

the really meme a very much as

27:11

I this law sort of makes a

27:13

bit of sense but the of. The.

27:15

Of compared with previous system of pointing at

27:17

a random name on a printed missing that's

27:20

me was my pencil or. A

27:23

fantasy I was a law that does

27:25

instead of work more against having a

27:27

big was has brought in said served

27:29

stops at a young people voting or

27:31

less i the have idea thing is

27:33

all more. also quite like is a

27:35

some older people voting arms of whether

27:37

that would help second services or not

27:39

I'm not oh but it was just

27:41

sort of quantities and absolutely out of

27:43

all the things we needed to do

27:45

to. Improve and strengthen our democracy. I'm not

27:47

sure that would have been in the top

27:50

thousand only to do this. By the way

27:52

to fight the Boris Johnson was caught out

27:54

by it, was robbed or if it did

27:56

illustrate once again the Ruger dangers of the

27:58

consensus of frequently Feldspar which is alone Jacob

28:00

Rees Mogg to speak in public because he

28:03

is famous is about he said that breaks

28:05

it boils down to be an act of

28:07

self harm that emphasizes you the bricks it

28:09

minister for. Our then

28:11

literally sit have stood up and said well

28:14

I mean that the voter id scheme possess

28:16

was planted gerrymander votes for our side which

28:18

clearly hasn't worked. For

28:21

see somebody the not going to send. An

28:24

ambulance is is it has by side is

28:26

a baby I I mean it is ludicrous.

28:29

Law is so many levels. I would actually

28:31

I think of recovery really good one

28:33

to get rid of immediately is a

28:35

complete simple open. Go there we are

28:37

back to democracy. In

28:42

other British politics news mayhem in Scotland,

28:44

Hamza Yusuf, the Scottish First Minister has

28:46

class as as powerful as well as

28:49

just got a surface minister. I've only

28:51

just over a year in post which

28:53

historically might not seem very long, but

28:55

in future might be look back on

28:57

as an epoch of change. this salinity

28:59

as on the Discover politics and the

29:01

glorious release of artificial intelligence and I

29:03

was us to change lead seamlessly from

29:05

one parts of the next on a

29:07

weekly, perhaps day, perhaps even hourly basis.

29:09

But at the moment he's loss and

29:11

over. A year of it's one of

29:13

those new stories. Way to miss the

29:15

beginning and sort of hard to understand.

29:17

The Snp has been struggling for while

29:19

Nicola Sturgeon left off a some abruptly

29:21

just over a year ago was hard

29:23

for anyone to follow such a longstanding

29:26

and prominence i'm a leader. Issues involving

29:28

her husband and party funds have caused

29:30

problems for the Snp a general sense.

29:32

There's no immediate says from other independence

29:34

referendum which causes Snp defining purpose. They've

29:36

been in power for a long time.

29:38

Things are sounds amount of of the

29:40

resigned Essentially what. I'm and

29:42

he ended up as and face power

29:44

sharing agreement with the with the Green

29:46

party or I saw a headline and

29:49

then the I was busy. I'm to

29:51

the mix of work Adams I'm researching

29:53

the crickets that's full in a book

29:55

the of will hopefully release in the

29:57

not too distant future. I'm watching the

30:00

Lugar and I'm as and then all

30:02

of a suddenly eight resigns. So such

30:04

such as politics now it'll seem to

30:06

move rather quickly. Alister are easily I

30:08

should say that the we don't. Although

30:11

none of us here is

30:14

Scottish, a did specifically choose.

30:17

Oh you are So it's gonna say or

30:19

do a job that the nine Hours Fraser,

30:21

Alice The Bowery. To me

30:23

those who the that was the most

30:25

scottish possible combination of be will cause

30:27

I second that are you are you

30:29

So how Scottish value as a percentage

30:31

me around us. Was. Your first

30:33

I was to fly my my mother

30:35

is Scottish or you know speak to

30:37

my grandparents with both from Blouse guards my

30:40

food nicely as Alastair berries my middle

30:42

my my my surname is much Neil

30:44

because idea for the summer. When I went

30:46

on of drama school there was already

30:48

honest and be a working with sue success

30:50

As you can tell from bizarre and

30:52

and recognizable name and I wasn't allowed to

30:54

observe. I know I'm on. I could

30:56

time half Scottish but obviously I'm in

30:58

it. With the boys like this, you have

31:01

to be circumspect about addressing that. His

31:03

life. Is

31:06

I I have. I have Scottish

31:08

ancestry as well but does not

31:10

quite a long time to my

31:12

mother's family were I'm Alex was

31:14

originally discuss. Discuss

31:17

embassies. The store and is slightly

31:19

a murky and all family history

31:21

was that I'm a distance Antecedents

31:24

was executed for cheap wrestling. Out

31:27

of his improves your i'm using a you

31:30

or your energy is also mom's an hour

31:32

and the of. Sam. The family fled

31:34

South, but I'm Alice. Alice Fraser is

31:36

about as Scottish name is you could

31:39

hope for. Is this? Yes. The

31:41

phrase it handsome my my

31:43

paternal grandfather with average person's

31:46

i don't see them back

31:48

in Sex. Have suffered

31:50

such as well as light.

31:54

As him. from the nazis is this

31:56

man escaped from the nazis a lot voting

31:58

made ball bearing said the area and

32:01

they said we love the ball bearings

32:04

but we do not love finding an invoice to an

32:07

adult. Do

32:10

you mind? He changed his name to the

32:12

most Anglo name he could think of

32:14

at the time which was Andrew Peter

32:16

Fraser and that's

32:18

my first connection. What was

32:21

his original name? Adolph? Friedenberg.

32:23

Their name Adolph used to be a

32:27

fairly normal name but then at around

32:29

I don't know why around that time

32:31

it became significantly less popular as a

32:33

name particularly among the Jewish population. I

32:38

was vaguely aware of that. So

32:41

I'll see you. Back to

32:43

the Scottish politics. It's much more interesting

32:45

than the SMP though isn't it? If you trust the word

32:48

of the taxi driver

32:53

who drove me to the train station

32:56

when I was in the Highlands a couple of

32:58

years ago after the Edinburgh Fringe the reason that

33:00

the Scottish independence vote did not go through was

33:02

because of Netflix

33:05

delaying the release of Diana

33:08

Gabaldon's romantic history

33:11

tale, The Outlander, in Scotland until

33:13

it was too late because

33:16

it would if it had been released before

33:18

the vote would have inflamed too

33:20

much national pride. That's

33:24

a beautiful combination of kind of like

33:26

the idiocy you would expect from a

33:28

cab driver's opinion combined with a really

33:30

left field take on where it actually

33:33

came from. The

33:36

reference did take place on the

33:38

anniversary of the Battle of Bannockburn.

33:40

It was the 700th anniversary of

33:43

the Battle of Bannockburn in 1314 and it

33:46

was a view that this would try to

33:49

encourage a sort of nationalist

33:51

vote but I do think

33:53

you know if you are voting in

33:55

a polling station and you find the way

33:57

you're going to vote being influenced by the result of a battle from

34:00

700 years ago. You have a

34:02

sacred duty to put your pencil down

34:04

and walk out of the polling station.

34:06

Democracy is not your game. But

34:09

anyway, I will say again, I'm Scottish. My

34:13

opinion on whether or not Scotland would be better

34:15

off as an independent nation is neither here nor

34:17

there. What I would say as an

34:19

English person living in England is please don't

34:22

go Scotland. Do not leave

34:24

England alone with ourselves. We're

34:27

not to be trusted. And what I

34:29

would say is if you do want to do

34:31

another independence vote, make sure that you proceed

34:34

the independence vote with visions

34:36

of Jamie Fraser competently fingering a

34:38

time travelling doctor. Well,

34:43

that is something we can all get on board

34:45

with. And

34:51

finally, on The Bugle this week, our

34:53

dystopian future is already here news now,

34:56

which seems to be a section that

34:58

comes back increasingly often on

35:01

The Bugle. And what

35:03

this is particularly relevant to us

35:05

as part of the podcast artistic

35:08

medium, that

35:10

a man has managed to interview

35:12

an AI version

35:14

of himself. And

35:17

Alice, I know you think this is basically

35:19

the future of probably not just podcasting, but

35:21

all human communication. Well,

35:24

this is I mean, this is such a

35:26

beautiful story as a man who has not had

35:28

enough of the sound of his own voice interviewing

35:31

an AI version of himself. It's not

35:33

just any man either. It's the co

35:35

founder of LinkedIn, the billionaire, Reed Hoffman,

35:38

finding a new way to say,

35:40

can I connect with you on

35:43

LinkedIn? By connecting with

35:45

himself, he's created a clone

35:47

that is capable of approximating the

35:49

subject mannerisms tone of voice and

35:52

the kind of thing that he

35:54

would talk about. This feels like

35:57

the ultimate end point of all

35:59

podcasts. Well,

36:02

I mean, you know, you say this is the

36:04

new thing. I've actually been an

36:06

AI in the ZAILTSMAN for about half of the

36:08

bugle episodes of the last five years, but no

36:10

one seemed to have noticed. And

36:15

I think it's an exciting future that, you know, that in

36:17

the future, AI in nanoseconds can

36:20

basically produce what podcasts are heading

36:22

essentially. Look at the long-term trajectory

36:24

of podcasting as an art form.

36:26

AI will take us there, that

36:28

in nanoseconds, it can produce a

36:30

podcast of you talking to yourself, telling

36:32

yourself what you think, yourself agreeing with you and

36:35

repeating to you what yourself thinks in a slightly

36:37

different language, trying to sell you a mattress.

36:39

Then you and yourself criticizing an AI straw man

36:41

for what you and yourself claim that straw man

36:43

said, did, or thought, you and yourself agreeing that

36:46

he should be cancelled, promoting a home delivery meal

36:48

service, and then wrapping up for the week with

36:50

a lighter story that you and yourself both found

36:52

amusing, but which also confirmed you and yourself's

36:54

strange views about the world. So I think this

36:57

is really, this is taking us just accelerating the

36:59

process to where the podcasting

37:02

has always been heading. I think it's

37:04

fascinating, as Alice says, that he's

37:06

the guy who created LinkedIn. And

37:08

I do wonder if he actually accepted his own

37:10

request to connect. Because

37:12

we've all sat around, we've all got LinkedIn and then gone,

37:15

should I? Oh, and then you look and you've got

37:17

700 notifications because you've never bothered checking. Even

37:20

if I was asked to connect by myself, I'd still

37:22

go, who is that bloke? History

37:25

of whether we really had friends in

37:27

common. And then I actually watched the

37:30

video and it's quite unsettling. He is,

37:32

I would say, you know,

37:34

someone you would not be surprised to

37:36

know had a background in internet and

37:39

computer sort of technology in a slightly

37:41

nerdy fashion. And I started to

37:43

watch the the AI guy version. And I was

37:45

like, this is creepy. It's just not quite right.

37:47

And then, to be fair, I started watching him

37:49

a bit more and went, same

37:52

feeling. And just started the uncanny valley.

37:57

Exactly. Exactly. I'm

38:00

a total technophobe. My biggest problem with the

38:02

spread of AI is it's always written as

38:04

AL, which is obviously owl, which is what

38:06

everyone knows. And I'm

38:08

getting thoroughly sick of being blamed

38:10

for absolutely f***ing everything. That

38:16

brings the end of this week's Bugle.

38:18

Thank you very much as always for

38:21

listening. There are still, I think, a

38:23

handful of tickets available for the Bugle

38:25

live shows in London early in June

38:28

at the Leicester Square Theatre. I

38:31

will be announcing the dates for my stand-up

38:33

tour round about the

38:35

end of May when everything is confirmed.

38:38

And there's quite a lot of dates. So,

38:41

yeah, come along. I need all of you to come to

38:43

all of them. But

38:48

anyway, listen to this space

38:51

for more details. Alastair, anything to

38:53

plug? Not

38:56

particularly. Finished tour. I've got a new special

38:58

of the tour is out on NextUp at

39:00

the moment called Woke in Progress. And I'm

39:02

very pleased with that. So if you'd like

39:05

to check that out, that'll be me ranting

39:07

about the world on NextUp. Alice?

39:11

I am doing a writer's retreat in Switzerland

39:14

in September of this year. If you would

39:16

like to come, you have to sign up

39:18

at patreon.com. I'm

39:21

doing an intensive writer's retreat there. Also,

39:23

I've got a book for sale at

39:25

unbound.com. It's called The Dancy Lagarde

39:27

Reader. Just write in Alice Fraser. My

39:30

grandfather went to all the trouble of having

39:32

an easy-to-spell name. So type

39:36

in Alice Fraser. Also, I host

39:38

a podcast called The Gargle, which is

39:40

the glossy magazine to this podcast's

39:43

audio newspaper. So

39:46

please tune in to that. Yes. So

39:48

if you've had enough of the relentlessly serious

39:50

broadsheet stylings of the Bugles, do listen to

39:52

The Gargle instead. Or as well. Next

39:57

week, we will have a glorious world-exclusive

39:59

Sunday. episode for you and then we'll

40:01

be back with a full bugle in

40:03

the middle of May until then goodbye

40:18

hi it's producer Chris from the bugle here

40:20

did you know that I have a new

40:22

series of my podcast Richie first travel hacker

40:24

out now it's the show

40:26

where Richie first and I talk about

40:28

how to make travel better in our

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very special way in this

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40:37

bunch of other random stuff that

40:39

possibly involves wheels or tracks or

40:42

engines of some variety God what a hot

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