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global player and play Steve Allen,

1:00

the whole show podcast. Thank

1:03

you. Morning, everybody. Welcome along

1:05

to your free podcast for today, Wednesday, forever

1:07

the fifteenth. That was it. Walk

1:09

the flowers, ate the chocolates, picked out

1:11

on on stakes and moon moonier

1:14

and different things like that. And that was Valentine's

1:16

Day. But as Kara McGiffins said, she

1:18

said, I don't need somebody to tell me

1:20

when I can turn to my husband and say, I love

1:22

you. She said, because I do it all the time. I'm not doing

1:24

one special day, which is

1:26

which is fine. Which is absolutely fine.

1:29

So everybody had nice time. People went

1:31

out. There's people here. Oh. Happy

1:33

Valentine's Day. People are shouting at me yesterday,

1:35

I'm going here. Sort of. You know what it's like?

1:37

No. People like doing it. Poor old,

1:40

Peter, Andre. Oh, by the way, before I forget, the

1:43

the embarrassing couple over in America, you

1:45

remember those who didn't want any publicity, they've

1:48

still not decided whether to come to the coronation.

1:50

I'll tell you what, I'll make your mind up for you.

1:52

Go away. Don't turn up. We don't want you

1:54

here. Nobody likes you. I mean,

1:56

fancy sort of faffing around like a pair

1:59

of old marriage. You know? Oh, I don't know. Should we

2:01

go? Should we Should we go? Should we not go? Should

2:03

we go? Should we not go. Let's go. No. Let's not

2:05

go. Oh, what should we do instead? Well, we could

2:07

sit here and and Harry can ride his bicycle

2:09

up and down the drive. That's how

2:11

busy they are at the moment. Because they don't have

2:13

anything to do. She doesn't do anything. They don't actually

2:15

have jobs, but they've engaged a

2:18

new sort of agent who looks after celebrities. So

2:20

they obviously in there tiny p brain

2:22

minds, think they're celebrities. And

2:25

and so they're hoping to sort of get some work about

2:27

perhaps disappear on game shows. Or something

2:29

like that, you know, name the parents, you

2:31

know, and that's got sort of thing that could bring on

2:33

some of Meghan's, they could all come on with

2:35

splits and everything else. Yeah.

2:38

Yeah. Meghan, yes. Great girl. Great girl.

2:40

Harry could sort of bring on his uncle Andrew.

2:42

You know, it could be fantastic. I mean, it could be

2:44

the thing to bring the house down completely. Celebrating

2:47

his fiftieth birthday plans. And I got it wrong. I

2:49

thought he was seventy. Peter Andre, he's

2:52

got a jet to Dubai with the family. He

2:54

said I was a bit freaked out turning fifty.

2:57

Who speaks like that? Fifty. I

2:59

was a bit freaked out. Where are you man? Where are

3:01

you really? Ridiculous. He details

3:03

his lavish birthday plans. He

3:06

said, because I'm not gonna have a big party, but

3:08

he will be doing it for okay magazine. You

3:10

know, it's a case of and they'll be deciding

3:12

what goes on. And of course, the cheap place

3:14

to go to, absolutely ideal for Peter Andres,

3:17

Dubai, That's the best place for

3:19

him. So he's he's gonna go there

3:21

and it'll all be absolutely fantastic. So

3:23

he's not gonna be a big party to mark the occasion, but

3:25

he's gonna tell you about it. It's not till the twenty

3:27

seventh of February, so he's gonna bore

3:29

the pants off everybody about telling us about it.

3:32

What does he do for a living? The answer is we

3:34

don't know We don't know. Somebody

3:36

laughing. They said he was a pop singer. And he's not been in

3:38

the child, so that God knows how many years. And

3:41

and he's got sort of children and

3:44

then He used to make coffee, and

3:46

now he doesn't make coffee, and then he used to

3:48

have a sort of w notice, they never give him

3:50

a show on television. You can't you can't you couldn't

3:52

really give him a show to present. Because

3:55

he's not he's not particularly talented in that

3:57

department. So unfortunately, he has to wear his baseball

3:59

cap on backwards. He's fifty. Fifty

4:01

baseball cap on backwards. I'm I tell you

4:04

he might as well be regressed. It'll make

4:06

it a lot easier. Bad language,

4:08

I'm afraid, from Love Island's will,

4:10

I eft up. He's left feeling guilty

4:13

after kissing the new Casa, a more girl,

4:15

Layla. But there again, she's up for most

4:17

things. I should imagine. That's what they all are.

4:19

And so Will was feeling very guilty,

4:22

and he kissed the new Casa Amorgo,

4:24

Leila Al Mommani, Where's

4:27

she from? Oh, no idea. In a cringe

4:29

worthy conversation which took place off the sofa,

4:31

Leila was left blushing, not so as you'd

4:33

notice. So much. She couldn't look at the farmer

4:35

after he quist her on her high sex drive.

4:38

I gotta be sick. I said, what who

4:40

are these people? They then shared

4:42

an intimate kiss as opposed to just a

4:44

kiss before

4:47

Casey Walkerparshouted. He's

4:49

been a naughty boy. Because I

4:51

shoot you talks like that. But Will, who's been

4:53

coupled up with Jesse, was their feeling in

4:55

the wrong admitting his exchange made him realize how

4:57

much he liked the Australian. Is a

4:59

farmer love. I wouldn't go to he stinks of

5:01

pigs and all, oh, it'll be ghastly. Ghastly.

5:04

And they don't have nice houses farmers. Basically.

5:07

He'll be living in like a shed or something

5:09

like that. So you don't wanna go with him. And

5:11

to be honest with you, it looks bit too sort of pretty

5:13

girly. Doesn't he to be a farmer? Doesn't quite

5:15

look butche enough to be sort of getting up in the early hours of

5:17

the morning. You don't want to be a farmer's wife? No. You want

5:19

to get your tits out. Don't you? And you want to model, but

5:22

you can't do that if you're a farmer's wife. Although

5:24

we did have that farmer and

5:26

his wife. They've got nine children, and

5:28

then they split up because somebody obviously said

5:30

to her, you you can be a big star,

5:32

you know, and says, she went, can I? And

5:35

so they said, yeah. And so she makes a

5:37

program, it fails in the ratings. His

5:39

new program does really well in the ratings

5:42

because I think people didn't like her. So

5:44

there you go.

5:48

Elvis Presley's private play. Now this

5:50

is the one I

5:52

thought actually. This

5:54

isn't taking care of business, is it? No.

5:56

But it was his private jet. And

5:59

it went up for auction. It would

6:01

have been Elvis Presley's eighty eighth

6:03

birthday the other day. Eighty eight. I mean, there's

6:05

no chance he ever would have made it to eighty eight.

6:08

It went up. The hammer fell at

6:11

two hundred and sixty thousand dollars. The

6:13

new owner made bids via telephone and has not

6:15

been identified. Nineteen

6:17

sixty two, Lockheed, thirteen twenty

6:19

nine Jets Star. And

6:22

that was the prime What's left in it? I've got

6:24

no idea because he's got his other plane taking

6:26

care of business, which is over the road from

6:28

Graceland, and you can go and see that as part of your

6:30

admission ticket. So this

6:32

one was obviously another one that he had.

6:34

Honestly, it seems so funny, doesn't it? You'd be but

6:36

you sort of you you sort of wonder if

6:39

Elvis could, you know, sort of come back or be sitting

6:41

on a cloud looking down whether you'd be going, what

6:44

have they done to my plane? My beautiful

6:46

plane? It's all wrecked and everything else. I bet

6:48

they've stripped it out inside because all

6:50

he wanted to do is get on a plane. He didn't didn't

6:53

watch the films or anything else. He

6:55

he just went to sleep as they flew him

6:57

around to wherever it was he was going.

6:59

Steven Spielberg, has told

7:01

Tom Cruise that he saved Hollywood's ass

7:04

with the top gun Maverick. So

7:08

they listen. Steven Spielberg does what sells.

7:10

If he says it saves Hollywood's s

7:13

and he said it saves the entire

7:15

theatrical industry. It's not bad, is it?

7:18

A modest cruise could

7:20

be seen smiling and shaking his head in disbelief.

7:22

I think think he's actually quite nice Tom

7:24

cruise. Don't have any problem with Tom Cruise at

7:26

all. think he's sort of I'm not sort of a a fan

7:29

of the movies, but there again, once you've seen one

7:31

top gun film, you're seeing the old bloody lot.

7:33

They're all the same. You know, he he sort

7:35

of does very well. He looks very cute. He puts his

7:37

makeup on well, and he'll probably kiss a

7:39

girl at some point. Imagine it's not

7:41

far off love island does it really? It's exactly

7:44

the same. Alex Baldwin's Rust

7:46

will resume filming this spring with all of

7:48

the principal cast returning. Which is

7:50

quite I don't know anything about it. don't know anything

7:52

about Alec Baldwin apart from

7:56

he's facing these involuntary manslaughter

7:58

charges. Over the death of

8:00

a cinematographer called Halner Hutchins.

8:03

So whether this thing's gonna go anywhere, I

8:05

don't know. There are so many

8:08

so many things that go on within Hollywood

8:10

and so many accidents that happen. And all

8:12

the time actually, it's nothing new. IDris

8:14

Elba, who we do like, but he's ruled himself

8:17

out of playing James Bond, so he can focus

8:19

on his Luther role. So

8:22

that's okay, but he was I thought he was a bit

8:24

older actually for Bond. He's fifty. I think

8:26

that's a bit older. He's sort of jumping around and

8:28

in and out of things. It's a bit like s club

8:30

seven after we and lot of people

8:32

thought it was April the first yesterday when we said

8:35

s club seven are coming back to do a tour of eleven

8:37

stadiums. I I confidently

8:39

predict they won't sell out eleven stadiums.

8:41

I don't you know, broth couldn't do it.

8:44

I think they ended up with two gigs or something like

8:46

that. Or three, I can't remember what it was. But

8:48

to s club, imagine, get rich for

8:50

the and they're gonna they're gonna look so old,

8:52

and ancient. There's gonna be broken bones.

8:54

They're gonna have stress. Again, you know,

8:57

John Lea, I don't know what he's gonna do. He's got three dogs

8:59

down in his farmhouse, and presumably

9:01

they'll be going on tour with them and all the rest of it.

9:03

But it's interesting, isn't it? When you sort of say, why do

9:05

these groups come back? Money. Money.

9:08

Simon Fuller looks after them and caught you know what he's

9:11

done for the spy skills and everybody. They couldn't

9:13

couldn't persuade little old Victoria Beckham to come

9:15

and sing on stage. Thank the Lord for that. Music

9:17

lovers everywhere were rejoicing. Don't let

9:19

her sing. Don't let a design close

9:22

either, dreadful. Jeremy Clarkson

9:24

has confirmed there will be a third

9:26

season of his hit farming show

9:28

This is despite the because the papers love this

9:30

kind of stuff. Don't it? He's been axed by

9:32

Amazon. No, he hasn't. They've just confirmed

9:36

You know, this was after the Meghan Mark and Column

9:38

backlash. But to be honest with you,

9:40

what he wrote might have been a bit hard hitting for

9:43

some people, and you do get the trolls down here,

9:45

you know, Call for him to be fired. He

9:47

should be fired in me. That's what they like. Anytime anybody

9:49

gets into trouble over something, you know, call

9:51

for them to be fired. And yet, really, when you go

9:53

around to their houses, they smell. These

9:56

people smell. They have pornography up on

9:58

the screen in the corner, something to matter with them.

10:00

And so there was never any doubt in Amazon's

10:02

mind that they were gonna run a third season

10:04

of the hit show. You know?

10:06

And this is after that

10:08

the sun newspaper printed his

10:11

column. But then, surely, as I said

10:13

time and time again, somebody at the sun, there must've

10:15

been two people who checked his column,

10:17

they would run through it, they would check it, and they

10:19

decided it was okay, then they had to justify

10:21

afterwards. But basically, you

10:23

know, that's what the sum do, isn't it? Also,

10:27

two huge b b

10:30

Saturday night shows have been axed. And

10:32

this is bad news, I'm afraid, for

10:37

Patty McGinnis because

10:39

both of his shows have

10:41

been axed. Catchpoint and

10:44

I can see your voice, which only launched in twenty

10:46

twenty one. Now that effectively gives

10:48

him nothing. Nothing. I don't

10:50

know what he's got left. I mean, He

10:53

also fronted the Take Me Out Show, but then he moved

10:55

from ITV to the BBC thinking he

10:57

was gonna be a big name presenter, but the trouble is he

10:59

hasn't got any class. He's

11:01

got no class. You know, I know what big name

11:03

presenters look like. And listen,

11:05

Philip Schofield would be big catch for the

11:07

BBC, but, you know, what would they give him? I

11:09

don't know. Bradley Walsh would probably do it better.

11:12

And Patty McGinniss, I do like. I just don't

11:14

see him as a prime time Saturday night presenter

11:16

on the beat. Just doesn't happen really.

11:18

I mean, there are also problems with these other

11:20

two programs. One is the question of sport,

11:23

which he's taken to a new level. He's like a bloke

11:25

drunk in the pub. Talking about sport.

11:27

The other one is is top gear. You

11:29

know, he is popular with

11:31

viewers, but they don't see him as anything

11:33

more than sort of just some funny bloke.

11:36

No lighty. No lighty. No

11:38

audience. No program. Hello,

11:41

which is great. I love it.

11:43

Mind you, we got some more good news for you

11:45

as if we I mean, really, we can't get enough

11:47

of good news at the moment. Valentine's Day,

11:49

everything lovely. Jemma Collins, we

11:52

think is split from her fiance, Rami

11:54

Hawash, while she's split from his own of

11:56

a bit like all of her relations. And

11:59

she she took to Instagram on

12:01

her little holiday to

12:03

offer a a sort of posting to that loving

12:05

yourself, you know, because I'm not

12:08

the GC. Yeah. The lonely GC,

12:10

I'm afraid. And she said it's important

12:12

to love yourself over anybody else. It's finished.

12:15

It's finished. I mean, to be honest with you, he's he's better

12:17

off out of it. She's a nightmare to be with absolute

12:19

nightmare. She refers to herself in third

12:22

party. She says the most important relationship

12:24

you will have is with yourself. Yeah.

12:26

Well, for you, dear, that works, but obviously not for

12:28

everybody else. And she's forty

12:30

two. She's getting on a bit now, and she forty

12:32

two and still can't find anybody. You know why?

12:34

Night mayor. Night mayor. And

12:37

Rami was absent from the post with

12:39

one one fan say, where's one fan,

12:41

where's Rami? One fan. That'll that'll

12:43

be the soul sometimes. You look gorgeous

12:45

babe, somebody wrote to, you know, drinking your

12:47

champagne. Again, somebody who should have gone

12:49

to spec savers. Moderna, is

12:52

in talks to sign a lucrative deal with the fashion

12:54

giant. Pretty little thing. A

12:56

bit bored with madonna now. Okay. So you

12:58

singed here. Some of it, your mime. And

13:01

they say she could join the likes of Molly

13:03

May Hague and Gemma Owen or real

13:05

class act. That does it. bet she'll

13:08

be delighted. She'll be saying, I'm sorry, who are these people?

13:10

Well, one of them was on Love Island and

13:12

the other one was on Love Island.

13:14

What what what what is that? That's

13:17

that's a place where all the bimbos go.

13:19

And they parade around trying to attract some Himbo

13:21

fellas. And and then when

13:23

you come out, you can launch a range of Braar

13:26

and Nicas except the fellas who disappear

13:28

into that place called obscurity where they all

13:30

reside. So, you know, clothes

13:32

held by the bucket load to young women. But

13:34

Moderna, having to join them with Molly May

13:36

Hague and Gemma Rowan, really kind of worries

13:38

me a little bit. She needs to get a better agent.

13:41

Seriously, much better agent. Blackadder

13:44

is preparing to return. However,

13:48

I'm not sure whether or not it's

13:50

gonna have Rowan Atkinson in it. This

13:52

is for comic relief, and I don't

13:54

think I don't think

13:57

that that Rowan Atkinson

13:59

is going to be in it. Don't think so

14:01

anyway. Because he's completely different.

14:04

When you see him in all these comedy programs, he's quite

14:06

brilliant, but he is very material. And

14:09

he's he's sort of develops into these other characters

14:11

because I remember going up to a show

14:14

at Teddington Studios. And

14:16

he was one of the guests we were all sitting in

14:18

the in the green room. He just sat there reading

14:20

a book. He doesn't enter into conversation

14:22

with other people. He's he's almost a bit shy.

14:25

But then develops into these

14:27

into these parts, which is great. But he

14:29

is in a relationship with

14:31

comedian and address Louise Ford, whilst

14:33

Tony Robinson is married to his third wife,

14:36

Louise Hobbs. So we'll wait and

14:38

see. We'll wait and might be an

14:40

interesting one, Mike. But at the moment, as soon as we

14:42

all have also have to wait and see about, you know, Harry

14:44

and Meghan, do you think they they they could make a decision

14:46

by themselves? I shouldn't think so. Harry,

14:49

you go on your bike there, and by the way, loving

14:52

the stabilizers on the back of it. I think that really

14:54

means you're not going to fall over. Which is

14:56

lovely. And everybody talking about what were they

14:58

talking about last night with with

15:00

Richard? Is it you less and

15:02

all these this amount of money it's gonna cost

15:04

people? You don't seriously believe that the mayor

15:06

cares about you. He really isn't

15:08

really interested. He's interested. He's

15:10

seen the figures. He's seen how much money this

15:13

can make by bringing in newness. So

15:15

that that's why he's doing it. He's not interested in

15:17

you. He couldn't give a toss about you.

15:19

That's the whole trouble. He's he's turned into this sort

15:21

of meglamaniac. About, you know, money.

15:24

And where does he get money from? The

15:26

motorists. You're the easy target.

15:28

You're the easy target. I wouldn't like to imagine how much

15:30

money is generated through speeding

15:32

fines, yellow boxes, and now ULEZ.

15:34

I mean, that's a spinner straightaway in it.

15:36

And there's loads of people, carourers and stuff like

15:39

people who can't get out there. Doesn't care.

15:41

He's not interested in you. He's

15:43

the mayor of London. Wonder if we could

15:45

just vote him out, you know, find somebody else.

15:47

We knew the poor would be better, I think. Anyway,

15:50

have a great day. I should be back with you tomorrow. I'd ever

15:52

get to download as many programs as you possibly

15:54

can. The more you download, the happier

15:56

the management here are. You know, and I need

15:59

need the brownie points. I mean, come on.

16:01

Even if you download them and don't listen to them,

16:03

just go to global player dot com,

16:06

download for free, cost you

16:08

nothing and it's all very lovely and then

16:10

you can download everything and you get to keep them

16:12

and there are thousands, not just from me but

16:14

from from other more gifted presenters,

16:16

ladies and gentlemen. I'm just I'm just a

16:18

little person on at four AM in the morning,

16:21

and that's, you know, I just play Humble,

16:23

which is the best way. Anyway, have a good day. I'll

16:25

talk to you tomorrow. Same time till then. Stay

16:28

warm. Leading Britain's

16:30

conversation, LBC.