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Hi everybody , welcome to another episode

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of Still Roses podcast . This podcast was created for

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women , by women . I'm coming

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to you live today from week two of

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summer break . You know , week

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one was like a novelty and

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I've been actually

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like trying to organize these episodes around thought starters

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, like things that I see that I think might be helpful

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or you know good , good things for us all

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to be thinking about . But

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this episode is not that . This

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episode is one

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that I just want to share because I

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again suspect we were all in

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this boat . So this

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is like my mental health mom check in with

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you guys and apparently

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my mental health is affecting my physical health . And

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I woke up week

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one as I started to say summer break was

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perfectly fine and

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again , like it's like the novelty of , it seemed like

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it was all good For some reason

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. Week two , now that the kids are in day camp

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for four hours from eight to 12

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, they're in day camp Now , initially

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this felt like oh my gosh , eight to 12

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. Like that's four hours of time

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that you know they'll be out of the house . This will be good

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. Yes , it's good

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. I'm not complaining , but I am

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complaining because

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dragging them out of the

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house in the morning is painful

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and annoying , it's like torture

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and

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I literally this is the third day of day

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camp and I'm already like maybe they should just

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let it go , kind of thing I'm

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not going to because they're doing educational

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things with them . So I'm going to gut it out , regardless

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of how insane it makes me . But Monday

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was tough for me personally because

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, again , like the kids are home , like it's disrupting

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my schedule . I no longer have seven

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hours of concentrated focus time during

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the day . That's been whittled down

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to maybe three . And now

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I'm doing that painful juggle in the afternoon

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of like yes , they're here and yes , I'm working

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, but I can't really get

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that focus time that I very critically

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need . So it's starting to bleed into

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my evening and

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me personally , I'm like I don't want to work in

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the evenings , like this sucks , like I got to

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hop back on my computer . But on

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the same note , I'm like I know I kind of have to . I don't really have

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a choice . Like if they're taking up my afternoon and

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my daytime hours , I'm going to have to suck it up and work

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at night to make up that time . So there

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is a balance and

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I know that . I'm fortunate that I can

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even make that call . I know very

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deeply what it is that

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when you know you don't have that flexibility

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, and I do know that this

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is an incredibly amazing

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privilege to have . So I don't want anyone

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to ever think that you know , I'm not grateful

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. I am incredibly grateful for

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being able to work at home and be able to make that

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call to say , like , all right , well , I'll work at night

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if I can't work during the day , but

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that doesn't mean it's not

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hard . I have family members that only have

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one child or two children . I think

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I have the most . Now that I think about

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it , I think I'm the only one with three on my side of the

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family . I

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know people that don't have to work

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. They're stay-at-home moms . I know the gamut of different

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kinds of women out there that are also

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dealing with having kids and

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there is no

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easy scenario , and

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I want to make sure that everybody kind of understands

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that , because I've had people say to me oh well , you have three

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, I'm not going to complain to you . No , you

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can complain to me . Ish is hard . I'm just trying to watch my mouth . Because I've had people

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say to me oh well , you have three , like I'm not going to complain to you . No , you can complain to me . Like ish is hard . I'm just trying to watch

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my mouth because I know kids are probably around , but

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it's just hard . It's

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hard Like it doesn't matter if you have only

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one , it doesn't matter if you only have an infant

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. It's hard making that adjustment

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and and kind of changing

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everything about yourself because now you have a child

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and you're trying to make that juggle work . It's

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hard . It's hard for everybody . I don't care

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who you are , even if you have nannies

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, like you still went through a

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physical trauma in your body by having kids

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. There is no like , oh well , she

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shouldn't be complaining , she should keep her mouth shut , absolutely

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freaking . Not . We can all complain here

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. Everyone can complain . You have

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a right to complain . You have a right to your feelings

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. I don't care how people

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try to gaslight you . I don't care about

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people trying to tell you like you know , not acknowledging

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your feelings and telling you like , oh well , you have

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it easy because you don't have to do this BS

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. I call BS on all of it because it's a struggle

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for everybody . So I just want to put that out there . Like

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having kids is tough . It

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doesn't matter if you have one kid , six

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kids , it's hard , all

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around it's hard . So there

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is not a moment where you're going to hear

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me be like , well , I have the toughest , absolutely

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not . I know that I

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have some things easier

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than other women . I know that

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I have something harder than other women

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. I know that , like some of my struggles

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are self inflicted because I volunteer

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and I'm podcasting and , you

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know , trying to run my own company on the side while also

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working full time , like I know some of that's

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me . But again , like

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it's hard , it is hard . So

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me personally , second

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week of summer , kids are home . I love

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them so much , I want them around all the time , but

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at the same time I don't want them around

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at all and I want them to be quiet all the

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time . So there's this constant , constant inner

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conflict . I think some of you might be chuckling

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right now because , literally

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, that is it right . Like that is

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the constant mom struggle . I love you so much

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, I want you around all the time . I just

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want to hang out with you and have fun , but also

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, could you please just

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be quiet and just sit next to me

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quietly , nicely ? You know , like it's

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like a constant battle , it's

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like the battle of wills in there with me . So I don't think I

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realized how stressed out I was about

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work , juggling work and the kids

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. And I woke up yesterday morning , today's

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Wednesday . I woke up Tuesday morning

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unable to

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turn my head . My

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neck is all locked up down into

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my back , which is interesting and

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the doctor said you have to lay flat on your back on the floor for 15 minute intervals

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throughout the day with an ice pack on your neck and a rolled

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towel under your neck . And

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I said okay , doc , I'll do my best here

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. And so yesterday I tried

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that out , but then I also still had to work , so I had to

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stop after 15 minutes and work . And

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it's just comical to me because my

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husband he's

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trying to just remind me but he's like , oh , don't

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forget , make sure you put ice your neck and you take

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a minute to lay down today I don't know when

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you think that that's good's

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. Like my biggest struggle , like when am I supposed to be doing

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these things ? Unfortunately for

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me , like I don't have a choice , I am going to have to take little breaks

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today to ease the tension

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in my neck , because it is actually quite painful . My

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little guy last night . Well , my big little guy

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last night said to me he was like , mommy

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, you've been complaining , like you said your neck is hurting

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, but like you're not like crying

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or screaming or anything like that

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, like any , like basically saying you're not obvious

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in obvious pain . And

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it was

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an interesting moment for me because

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I basically said to him I was like I'm not in obvious

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pain because I have to take care of all

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of you . I was like , however

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, I can cry right now on the spot if you want

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me to , because I am in a lot of pain

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. And you

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know , he kind of noodled on it he's my thinker , he's

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my little attorney and he just said

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he was like , okay , mommy , he was like just

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just go lay down . And I

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mean he still continued to bother me for hugs and kisses

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and everything like that after I laid down , which got a

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little , a little bit much after a while . But

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yeah , it was one of

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those teachable moments for my kids to say , like

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just because you can't see it doesn't mean it's

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not there . So

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it's Wednesday , I'm

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still in quite a bit of pain , but I'm still going to

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have to do what I need to do today because you know , that

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is mom life , right

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. So there's that I

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actually had again

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thought starters and things that I wanted

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to reflect on with all of you . But I just wanted to share

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this because I think

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that , like again , we're all going

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through this struggle here together

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and there's going to be lots of moments

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where , like it feels really overwhelming , like I

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, my anxiety was through the roof yesterday

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. I was wildly overwhelmed

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with just everything , feeling

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like it was all crashing down on me , which

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it usually is . I have a right to

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be overwhelmed , um , and

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it was just . I was just . I was

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trying really hard to keep it under control

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, but it was like you could almost see

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the cracks like coming to the surface all

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day yesterday , and I was , I was trying so hard , but

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it was just all day yesterday that it was just

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cracks surfacing where I

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was just getting overwhelmed and frustrated

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and stressed out . And then the

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depression creeps in , which is

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always interesting , and

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then I have the whole

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back and forth in my head of Jenny

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, this isn't you , this is hormones , or

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this is anxiety , this

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isn't you . Make sure that you try to balance

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yourself out , that sort of thing . So

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it's just a constant , constant thing there

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, and I think we all are

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on this journey and I think that we all have

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this battle in ourselves where , no

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, you're not going to be happy all the time , like , how can you

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? Like you know there's going to be some sense

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of peace for most of the time , but you're not gonna

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be happy like 100% of the time . There's gonna be moments

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of frustration or anything , and you got to just

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make your peace with that . So

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, in any case , I am surviving , two weeks

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in , I

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am trying to give myself some grace , to

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just continue

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on this path and

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, you know , making the most

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out of the summer , even though I

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am getting stressed out , having the kids home . But

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yeah , you know , you just you work through

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it to the best of your ability and you

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just hope and pray and keep

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plugging along , because what else are you going to do ? If

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any of you are also going

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through this , I mean you can . There is a

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great feature now on the podcast where you are

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able to message me directly , so

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feel free to message away and let

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me know your thoughts , and

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I hope all of you are doing well

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and having some fun . Don't

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forget to prioritize fun during the summertime

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, because for a long time I didn't , and it's time

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. I

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appreciate all of you listening . If you

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have a couple minutes , if

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you could leave me a review , I greatly appreciate

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it every for every review that the podcast

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gets . It actually

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helps to introduce the podcast to other folks

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. So the more reviews I have , the more it gets

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to be on other

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people's feeds it'll it'll kind of push them along

11:03

to say like , hey , there's a , there's some great content

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here . So I appreciate all

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you doing that . Feel free to message me directly

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and you know we'll just keep hanging in there together

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. Thank you so much , all of you , and

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I hope you all have a great rest of your week . Take

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care , we'll see you on the next one .