Episode Transcript
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catch up on the latest episodes
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without the ads. It's
1:22
not a nice drink. What? I don't know. I've not tried it
1:24
yet. Make sure you follow us on YouTube,
1:26
Snapchat, TikTok, Instagram, Stem
1:33
Friday on YouTube. We'll also be doing the bonus episode
1:35
on Thursday, which you'll be able to watch on
1:38
Sunday, which makes it Monday, Thursday,
1:40
Friday, Sunday. There wasn't as much
1:42
enthusiasm for that. There was the
1:44
clap. So let's try that again.
1:47
Monday, Thursday, Friday, Sunday.
1:49
Here we go. Buckers.
1:52
Go on then, Sam. Oh, here we go. Here
1:54
we go. Follow us on all
1:56
the socials. All that shit. I'm becoming Pete now. All that
1:58
shit. Get us on in. Instagram, TikTok,
2:00
Snappy Z. I have done that bit.
2:03
Fuck! But rate, review and
2:05
do all that. We do read the reviews, read
2:07
every single one of them. Absolutely love pizza, stove,
2:09
and his ting. Have a sip quickly. Yeah, get
2:11
this because this is good asthma. So
2:15
by the time you were listening to this, we
2:18
would have recorded seven shows. We've
2:21
since also done Birmingham and
2:23
the London Palladium. Clap again. Everyone
2:28
are world famous, tall, that
2:30
everybody is talking about, from
2:32
LA to London. From
2:36
Glasgow to Plymouth. From Glasgow to Plymouth.
2:39
Everyone's talking about it. It's huge news. Yeah,
2:41
there's a few people talking about it. It's
2:44
always everywhere. Yeah, probably about 20,000 that have
2:46
seen it. Other than that,
2:48
I don't think many people are talking about
2:50
it. The Apollo, not the Apollo. Oh no,
2:52
actually we should talk about the Apollo quickly
2:54
because we have released some dates for
2:57
September. Actually, I've got the date. We've sold
2:59
out now. Oh no, okay, well the tickets aren't
3:01
available. On the 7th and the 8th of September
3:03
by the time. We sold out. Yes.
3:06
We sold out. On the 7th of April, we've
3:08
actually sold out. However, not to give anything away,
3:10
but he
3:13
has already written the second
3:15
show. It took him a couple of
3:17
days, that is it. He announced it
3:19
to the Palladium crowd. The crowd went
3:22
wild. The notebook is
3:25
back open. It's now closed.
3:27
It's now closed because he's finished it again. I
3:30
haven't seen a thing. No, but
3:32
I tried to give Sam a briefing on it yesterday,
3:34
which is, this is more like your house of fun.
3:38
And he went, ooh, I'm excited. Yeah, because I don't even know
3:40
what it means. It's going to be great. I don't know what
3:42
I meant by that, if I'm honest with you. But
3:45
it is amazing and I think it is
3:47
worth just saying, in a slightly more serious
3:49
way, we cannot believe that we've sold out
3:51
almost everything we've done this year. We are
3:53
in shock and you, the community, are the
3:55
best people ever in the entire world. Yes,
3:57
you, the community. It's a family. I
4:00
mean that's better than community. The community,
4:02
we have a community. And actually, there
4:04
was a really lovely moment after the
4:06
Palladium show where we left the stage
4:09
doors and there was a big crowd
4:11
of people out there and
4:13
they were going, Pete! Pete
4:15
went out of bra who
4:17
was dangling a red bra
4:19
and I grabbed Pete's arms
4:21
and went, Pete Wicks everybody!
4:23
And his arm went up
4:25
and he wanted to die
4:27
inside and everyone went, YEAH!
4:29
Because I just wanted to go for a fag. It
4:34
was a real issue for me. It was so
4:36
good. Yeah, the Palladium was amazing. There was just
4:38
some amazing people that have been playing with Judy
4:40
Garland. Did you see the Hall of Fame thing
4:42
in the dressing room? Who the fuck is Judy
4:44
Garland? Oh my good God. She's like
4:46
the game icon. She's at our show. See, Judy
4:48
Garland. She was at our show. No, she wasn't
4:51
at our show. She's
4:53
dead. Well, how was she there?
4:56
Because she's performed there. You've had like fucking
4:58
Sammy Davis Juniors perform there. Oh, you mean
5:00
the Wall of Fame? Exactly what I
5:02
said. Oh, I thought you meant this burve was in
5:04
our gas. No, it was so good. Judy Garland turned
5:06
up. Lots of
5:09
the big names. Elvis, he pops along. But
5:12
no, and we managed to
5:14
get the Palladium for the first time ever
5:16
chanting cock. We did! And it wasn't C-mine.
5:20
No one was confused as to who's cock.
5:22
What a show, though. What a show. Yeah,
5:26
what a show. It was fucking great. It
5:28
was your favorite one. It was fucking great. It was my
5:30
favorite one. You said it was. I did.
5:32
I said it was. Fuck you. I hate
5:34
you. But actually, also, at the very start,
5:37
me and Pete had been deliberating for a
5:39
while because we didn't know whether
5:41
we were going to sort of like do
5:43
this or not. But we ended up doing
5:45
it. It was the TV commissioners rule there
5:47
from ITV channel four. Who else was there?
5:49
ITV channel four. BBC. BBC. So all of
5:51
the big topics. Netflix and as well. Netflix.
5:53
Oh, fucking hell. And
5:56
me and Pete were in the back room. like
6:00
my agent called me and told me I need to sort of
6:02
like cut out the swear words and you know we're in front
6:04
of the people. It's not the swear words, it's the rogue shit
6:06
I think. Pete was like I just feel like it's going to
6:08
ruin the show though, you know it's for the fans, it's for
6:10
the community and the family. And
6:13
I went Pete go and do what you
6:15
want and so he goes on stage and
6:17
he literally calls out every single one of
6:19
them and goes we've got big TV commissioners
6:21
here, it's nice, the BBC ITV channel for
6:24
staying with us, the start of this is
6:26
a sitcom, none of you fuckers wanted it.
6:29
Now they're all begging for fucking tickets to come
6:31
in tonight, how about that? Then got everyone
6:33
to boo them at
6:35
the fucking audience and everyone booooooo!
6:39
And then I said this and everyone's told me I've got
6:41
to calm this show down and not swear as much and
6:43
take out some of the rogue shit. And I just didn't
6:45
know what to do so I asked the one person who's
6:47
opinion matters which is Sam's and Sam
6:49
said fuck them so we're going
6:51
to carry on anyway. And we did, it
6:53
was so good, probably got the loudest cheer of the
6:55
night but you know it's one of them real dicey
6:57
moments, you're like this should go one of two ways.
7:00
But yeah, no it was a good night, we enjoyed the
7:02
play then, my mum was there and I played him. Oh
7:05
jeez he wicks! It's the first one that she's seen
7:07
so my mum and your mum met for the first time. Oh
7:09
my god they did! It was
7:11
weird though because like your mum heard you at
7:14
the show saying you want to shag my mum. Yeah
7:17
and then my mum said to me after I can see wire. Shut
7:19
up! Yeah go on son. She said go on
7:21
son! I can
7:23
cheeky bear, well I'm going to shag your mum. See
7:26
it's not funny when you say it. Are we done with
7:28
the mum joke? Yeah we're done. Ok excellent, I'm going to
7:30
shag your mum love. Where
7:32
should we go for a mum? I don't know what panic
7:34
we're on now. Birmingham, let's do Birmingham. Yeah why did we
7:37
start with the playing team? It was the most recent one,
7:39
I was just so sorry. So we're going backwards. Yeah look
7:41
you said you went Sam. Sorry I love you. Pete
7:44
went Sam, you're going to, I think
7:46
Pete's panicked because he thinks he's talked
7:48
too much so he's now taking me
7:50
to on side and gone Sam I
7:52
need you to lead some of this
7:54
podcast and now I've
7:56
completely just gone away
7:58
from the cue card. yet again this
8:01
is the reason that I generally try and do
8:03
this because I like structure we all know that
8:05
I like a format and a structure so we're
8:07
working backwards on the show today anything
8:10
else on the Palladium you'd like to mention? well I
8:12
was fucking up with it Palladium, is there anything else
8:14
that happened in Palladium? it was the second string for
8:17
the after party oh the second string for the after
8:19
party, another one I didn't turn up to Beardy, Ted,
8:21
the usual faces the usuals,
8:23
Team Feral, we all had another night in string first
8:25
Sam went home, that was fun no to be fair
8:27
you had a good, for once you had a good
8:30
excuse this time yeah my poor cat's been
8:32
in Animal Hospital, I'm not gonna lower the
8:34
tone, he's better now but imagine one of
8:36
the biggest triumphs of our career is we
8:39
are in the after show party everyone like
8:41
that we know and love and bosses are
8:43
all in this room everyone we know and
8:45
love and tv people yeah and we get
8:48
clapped in, people think we're having a row
8:51
and it wasn't, it was because of my cat so I had to
8:53
take it home yeah it's just reminded
8:55
me of another moment because I actually forgot
8:57
about some of the things I say about
9:00
Zara in the show at the time and
9:02
she was obviously in a quite an upset state
9:04
of mind whilst I was talking
9:06
about them having sex and stuff I
9:08
also forgot that her dad was in the audience, that was
9:10
tough so Alan got quite a few shout outs from me
9:13
yeah that was bad sorry Alan, I hope you're good like
9:15
what do I do as the prospective boyfriend, do I like
9:17
go out to Alan Artisan, I just want to let you
9:19
know I think I do try a new technique like I
9:21
do satisfy daughter sorry I didn't know what you meant I
9:23
didn't know what he meant but like do you know what
9:26
I mean, is it almost like do you almost want to
9:28
be that guy who goes up and goes no no I
9:30
promise you she is a satisfied daughter like she's having a
9:32
good time I can deal with it or do I go
9:34
no you're right we don't have sex what
9:37
would a dad rather hear yeah of course
9:39
yeah I'm sure you do want him to
9:41
know that you can fuck his daughter I'm
9:43
sure that's really happy for him should we
9:46
move on from that because I like Alan
9:48
we skim over the amount of underwear we've
9:50
now got saved ah not saved for later
9:52
use but as in we've got saved from
9:54
the core mate we've
9:57
got about seven pairs of underwear some
9:59
pants some brown I think it's more than that now.
10:01
It might even be more. Like people have written in solid.
10:05
Chaz has had to put on a wash. People
10:07
have written inside the bras, like Pete, call
10:09
my mum, or like this is my number.
10:12
The Palladium was a record hire for underwear.
10:14
Yeah. Actually, Palladium was genuinely a
10:16
record hire. There was actually one delightful
10:19
lady who was up in
10:21
the, kind of one of
10:23
the boxes. Oh, yeah! Because what people do,
10:25
listen, it's funny that the people are throwing the
10:27
underwear. So she's up in the fucking box,
10:30
and normally what people do is people will
10:32
bring a spare bra or underwear, you'd presume,
10:35
not this lady. She'd
10:37
seen that people were throwing underwear, stood
10:39
up, undid her fucking bra, and went wee
10:42
and threw it down. But I appreciate that
10:44
one. It was really good. One of my
10:46
favorite moments from that though is that she
10:48
obviously had done something quite big there. She'd
10:50
obviously ripped off the bra. She was actually
10:52
wearing it. Like Pete just said. The beauty
10:54
is that Pete is a stickliff of structure.
10:56
We were going off cards, right? So Pete,
10:59
I took the bra. Pete said, I
11:01
went, yeah, sweet, thank you, and then moved on. And
11:03
you know when someone just like expects a bigger reaction
11:05
than what they've got? So she's kind of
11:07
sat there going, and she
11:09
just sat back down. And you know when
11:11
someone's expecting something bigger because thanks, love, and
11:13
then just moved on. It
11:16
was so good. And
11:18
she sat and went, ah, just thought I'd get more than that.
11:21
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. You
11:24
want to stick to the structure? Oh, mate.
11:27
Oh, face of the picture. We had some
11:29
quite good audience interactions throughout the tour, to
11:33
be fair. You know, we have the seat of
11:35
shame bit, which is loads of fun. And with
11:37
the seat of shame, we had someone bring a prop
11:39
on. That
11:41
was a fun one. Well, I think we should explain
11:44
it a little bit. She comes on with a wet
11:46
floor sign. So yeah, so this lady, we do the
11:48
seat of shame, and she comes on and she's got
11:50
a plastic bag with her. Backstage, because we meet them
11:52
backstage just quickly to have like a picture and just
11:54
go, oh look, I hope you can do a show.
11:57
And you know, don't worry about it too much. It's going to be loads of fun.
11:59
And she had a plastic bag. I didn't know was in the plastic bag
12:01
and I went what's in the bag? And she went oh, you'll find out.
12:03
Oh my god. So I went, well okay. And
12:06
I said to Charlotte, I was like, what's that for?
12:08
And she went, you'll see. And I thought, what the fuck's
12:10
going on here? Anyway, she
12:12
comes on the fucking stage, literally puts
12:14
up a wet floor sign. And I'm
12:16
like, what the fuck's that? Sam
12:18
goes, what's that for? She went, because I'm sat
12:20
near Pete. And I thought, oh
12:22
god, this is fucking weird. But we had a
12:24
bit of a laugh about it and it was
12:26
all really funny whilst we were on stage. We've
12:29
got a Mexican wave in Birmingham as well. Mexican
12:31
wave. It's a Manchester, again, was a really, really
12:33
fun show. But we also had a guy
12:35
who was in the front row, he was sat
12:37
right in front of me and was just randomly,
12:39
you know, we'd do bits on stage, me and Sam,
12:42
and he'd go, I know what you mean mate!
12:44
Like just shout random shit and
12:46
he was literally right in front of
12:48
me. So he randomly sat it out, I bet
12:50
you can't rap. And
12:53
I literally heard it, I went, what mate? And he went,
12:55
I bet you can't rap. I went, I bet you can't.
12:57
And he went, I can actually. I went, come on then,
12:59
thinking he weren't going to do it, midway through the show.
13:01
And as we know, it takes a lot for me to
13:03
go off the truck. Yes, right. We are
13:05
so off-piece at this moment in time. It's like
13:07
Clam's on stage. So then I
13:09
help him up on stage, he's got a Hawaiian shirt on.
13:11
So I said, what are you going to rap then? What
13:13
did he rap? And
13:16
that's what he sounded like. Yeah, yeah,
13:18
yeah. Because he
13:20
started it. I thought he's
13:22
going to go one way or another because the crowd are either going to
13:24
love this or they're going to hate it. Well
13:27
the first half is... And rap ruined the show.
13:29
Yeah, so everyone's right. There's everyone they fucking go.
13:32
And you ever seen The Office when David Brenton,
13:34
they all clap him and then he starts dancing
13:36
and they all slowly start clapping. And it went
13:38
dead silent. And at that point I
13:40
thought I'm going to have to pull him off, not pull him off,
13:42
not take him off stage. But then he
13:44
sped up really quickly and people started getting involved.
13:47
I think they felt sorry because I think everyone felt the
13:49
tension. And then he got a bit round and paused and
13:51
went to blow him off. But yeah, just very weird. But
13:54
do you know what? To have the balls to do it,
13:56
fair play. He nearly... The
13:58
anger in Pete's eyes. when he
14:00
was ruining the show was something
14:02
else. I did see him after
14:04
the show because they'd managed to get backstage. Him
14:07
and his girlfriend, I honestly don't
14:09
know how, but they said they
14:11
just took a wrong turn in and as we
14:13
come off the stage, they were in the corridors
14:15
backstage, and he was actually a really, really nice
14:17
guy, and his girlfriend was lovely. And they're big
14:19
listeners, so I apologize. One of my other favorite
14:22
audience interactions was when we do the Q&A. The
14:24
Q&A is always a fun bit, but it can go rogue and
14:27
it can go weird and you get some weird shit. Or you
14:29
just get some people who don't
14:31
realize that they're in the middle of what is effectively
14:33
supposed to be a comedy show. That leads onto another
14:36
story where I was actually told that I should do
14:38
so, so I've wrote some material. Well, I don't think
14:40
this should be an off-the-cuff thing. I think it should announce,
14:42
it's quite a big note. In the note, but we don't
14:44
know because we don't know what we're gonna do, but I
14:46
may do an open mic night somewhere. And if you think
14:48
I'm not gonna be there, you have
14:51
another thing coming. The heckling that
14:53
Pete is gonna, who's this old
14:55
prick? Get off the stage and
14:57
knob! I would never
15:00
do that to you. No, it's good practice for
15:02
me. Because you have to go through
15:04
all the working men's clubs and the tough crowds before you
15:06
get the Apollo gigs. Or just go straight in like
15:08
we have. Cool, carry on,
15:10
sorry, I don't know why I'm looking at it. This
15:12
is you, man. I'm having another day, we did a
15:14
job yesterday and I was Sam for the day and
15:16
I'm gonna be Sam again today because what I've worked
15:18
out is it's fucking fun. It's so
15:20
fun. Yesterday, I was just screaming random shit out. We
15:23
were in a big studio and I was just doing
15:25
parkour around the studio doing weird shit and it's so
15:27
much fun. It was just
15:30
moving and shaking a lot. Why would you go
15:32
between not just Dom? Because you were literally going
15:34
like this. Yeah, I was like a pigeon. There's
15:36
a video of you just literally just back and
15:38
forth. We were doing this, I'll
15:40
make it very quick, we were doing this job
15:42
together yesterday and I was being the serious one
15:44
and Pete was literally being like the silly one
15:47
in the mood. He went, I know why you
15:49
like this. So much fun. It's like we've now
15:51
sort of got a new version of Pete. Pete
15:53
3.0 that has just started and I can't wait
15:56
to see where we go with it. Yeah, and
15:58
I see how much the roles reverse. yesterday
16:00
is that Sam at the halftime lunchtime break
16:02
told me and went mate you're gonna have
16:04
to fucking help me through this now. Yeah,
16:06
I said to Pete at this event I
16:08
went mate look this is running a bit
16:10
over can you sort of like revert back
16:12
to Pete Wicks and like get annoyed at
16:14
people? I was like and I went
16:16
no! Yeah Pete wanted to be there for hours! Anyway
16:19
that's by the by I'm gonna
16:21
keep on Pete's script here okay,
16:23
so we went to Birmingham and
16:26
this was quite a big one was a very
16:28
big one What was that it was that arena?
16:30
It was our arena tour! Well one to date.
16:32
Yeah, I mean it's not a tour then is
16:34
it? Our arena date. We need a gig. All
16:36
right, are we giggers? We are fucking giggers. We're
16:38
giggers. We actually do it. So
16:41
we went to Birmingham six thousand
16:43
people it's a lot because
16:45
I think that by that point the
16:47
biggest capacity we'd had was what
16:50
like two thousand? Yeah about two thousand.
16:52
Two grand. Two grand. Two
16:54
bob and then we Yeah,
16:56
always thinking in cheddar but
16:58
if it was actually Just while
17:00
we're talking about money doing well on the merch which
17:03
for us has been quite good I'm surprised he haven't
17:05
said I feel like your ear is more tough and
17:07
starving Regardless
17:11
of my ear that's not tender now is it? Legal
17:15
tender is it? We actually
17:17
have just been sent the the merch
17:20
details from producer Chaz. The ratio is
17:22
oh I'm not bad. Oh, that's terrible
17:25
Okay so if you don't know
17:27
the details were selling how Pete from the calendar years we've
17:29
got the top off one of them and It
17:32
was shown now and I
17:35
am just sat there smiling. Well, you did have two
17:37
people Okay, who told me
17:39
this who told us this? Pip up with it.
17:41
No, I think it was was it Alan Was
17:43
it Alan? You might have been Alan. Alan? Alan's
17:46
dad. Alan! Alan! Who
17:48
was it? Steve! I can't remember but yes someone
17:50
did. Alan! Yeah, it told us that they were
17:53
sat on a row where two girls spent the
17:55
entire time just screaming Sam sits on my face
17:58
So mate you're a first trap But...
18:01
I'm a thrust
18:03
baby, thrust. Okay.
18:08
And I've lost those two people. I'm
18:14
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18:18
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18:59
Or go to amazon.com/comedy ad free.
19:02
That's amazon.com/comedy ad free to catch
19:04
up on the latest episodes without
19:06
the ads. Oh,
19:13
you've got the new belt. Oh no. No. No.
19:18
Let's put it in the belt. I've
19:21
been hiding it all day. Oh, okay. So
19:23
where's this one from? Because you veered away
19:26
from the little Gucci belt and you seem
19:28
to have borrowed someone's father's
19:30
belt. It's
19:32
not, it's not, imagine, you know what? I
19:34
literally, after the Gucci belt debacle, I
19:37
went and bought myself a fucking masculine belt.
19:40
No, it is masculine. You don't need to fuck the mic with
19:42
it. Hey, I'm trying to show. Also, you haven't had a
19:44
little shame for a while. I know, I need to. You've
19:46
got more hair on your stomach than the back of your
19:48
head. Maybe they could just actually do the graft from there.
19:51
They can do that. Oh, I've got the guy to send
19:53
us the hair transplant number. This is great, actually. We don't
19:55
get the, fuck it. Ignore this. Just fucking
19:57
crack on. Sam got a message yesterday whilst we were at the
19:59
Gucci belt. at this job from, who was that?
20:01
One of the exec producers of Love Island. And
20:04
this is what I said, this is when we're on
20:06
the job together. Sam, how are you? You have been
20:08
a busy boy. My clinic where I got my hair
20:11
transplant, want you and Pete to go in. Happy to
20:13
pass on details if you want. Pete was devastated. Right
20:15
in the middle of a job, he stops the shoot to
20:17
read that out to his IRA. Ha ha ha ha. Literally
20:21
stops it to read that out to his IRA. So cute. But
20:23
yeah, I do have a new belt, mate. It's a bit
20:25
of a more masculine bastard. Mate, that's the smallest belt I've ever
20:28
seen. I know. Go on, get back to the cars, mate. Tour
20:30
manager Luke leans over the train seats
20:34
with the seating plan of Birmingham. And
20:36
that's where Pete really got a good
20:39
view of what we were dealing with.
20:41
Okay, so as usual. Hyperventilating. As usual,
20:43
no one believes you because you talk
20:45
shit. So that's exactly what happened the
20:48
other way round. Is
20:50
that I showed Sam a seating plan and
20:52
then really got the actual seating plan, a
20:54
rough seating plan. And Sam was
20:56
silent for about four minutes with
20:59
his mouth open, just going. Heavy
21:03
breathing, it was weird. Then he went, we can't do
21:05
it. Whilst
21:08
we were on the way. I'm not sure I can
21:10
do it. We can't do it. Charlotte, can we do
21:12
it? Beardy, can we do it? And I think he
21:14
may have asked the old lady in front of us
21:16
whether or not we could do it. Mate,
21:19
it's a lot of seats, man. It's
21:21
a fucking big arena. Sam
21:23
then went on, when we
21:25
hit half time in Birmingham, after all the panic beforehand,
21:27
he went on to, we should put on a date
21:29
at the O2. So
21:33
he quickly got over the panic and
21:35
absolutely fucking loved it. We could do
21:37
stadiums, motherfuckers. We can. Well,
21:39
Sam, we can't do it. We can, we
21:41
absolutely can. I think we performed better in
21:43
stadiums actually. We've not done a stadium. Arenas.
21:47
A small arena. It was a big arena. We
21:49
echoed on the mics. I
21:51
got in the crowd on the mic. I
21:53
took off my top, span it around, had
21:55
a vest on. I felt like Justin Bieber.
21:57
You did not look like Justin Bieber. I
22:00
got told as a first track. Well, you looked
22:02
checked actually. Thank you very much Yeah, you did
22:04
you did look pretty fucking pretty good there climbed
22:06
into the crowd But we just worked out that's
22:08
because you've got the waist of a fucking chopstick.
22:10
So your shoulders will of course look bigger But
22:14
no, it was a good one Birmingham is
22:17
your favorite one did by mom. Yeah, I
22:19
absolutely loved it I genuinely
22:21
we had a scream the size
22:23
of like how big was a scream? It was
22:25
enormous and then we had our own separate little screens on either
22:27
side Yeah, we did. Yeah,
22:29
it was really good It was it was a
22:31
good one that Birmingham actually and we'd learned from
22:34
previous previous shows because there was a barrier and
22:36
security In front which was good. So no one
22:38
could rampage destroy my Dignity
22:41
dignity, but we had a really big thing that happened
22:43
in Birmingham, which we haven't had on the other shows
22:45
and we had a proposal I
22:49
know you have because you're not reading cards.
22:51
Oh, yeah, so Reese and Lucy This
22:54
has been going on for how long Charlotte months
22:56
and fucking however long it's been going on Reese
22:58
wanted to propose to his missus Lucy. Go on race
23:00
and Listen we facilitated
23:02
that shit. That's what we did. It was actually
23:04
really cute and really nice, but I'll be honest
23:06
with you I heard so much about the engagement
23:08
and have done for the last couple of months
23:10
Sam found out it was happening on the night
23:14
But they were really beautiful couple. It was
23:16
it was really good there was a dangerous moment through the
23:18
planning of the The engagement because
23:20
Sam was in charge of the ring. Oh,
23:22
yeah Oh, I'm had been
23:24
in charge of the ring throughout the show
23:27
in his little cargo pocket. Yeah now I
23:30
Volunteered to take the ring, but
23:32
Sam wanted that job. Yeah, I had to
23:34
pull Sam to the side before and just
23:37
go No parkour today
23:40
We need the ring So if
23:42
you were at Birmingham and you noticed him doing this
23:44
all the time It's just because he was checking that
23:46
the ring was still he also you did a great
23:49
job Pete told me I was on a strict instructions
23:51
to never look at the couple in question Yes, because
23:53
Sam obviously know we knew where they were sitting and
23:55
I said to Sam because I know what sounds like
23:57
You will literally just spend the whole night like that So
24:03
I said you just cannot look to that side of
24:06
the stage. So Sam said most of the thing just
24:08
looking over there. You know when you take things really
24:10
literally? It's not like I'm not even going to fucking
24:12
look on that half of the arena. Just because I
24:14
really want to mess it up at all. And then
24:16
we sprayed champagne everywhere. That nearly went fucking wrong because
24:18
everyone nearly slipped over on it. Well we didn't did
24:20
we? We were supposed to just give
24:22
them a bottle of champagne but Sam thought
24:24
he'd lose Hamilton for a minute and just thought he'd fucking
24:27
spray it all over this fucking shop. Which made the rest
24:29
of the show really dicey for us. I
24:31
didn't knee slide on stage as well. And
24:34
I don't think Lucy was over the moon
24:36
because she ran and hid behind the set.
24:38
Because the champagne was pouring down at her
24:40
from her great height. But
24:43
really nice couple. Lovely. Congratulations. It's
24:45
the first Staying Red Room proposal.
24:47
And we did it live on
24:49
stage baby! And it
24:51
went off without a hitch realistically. And also I
24:53
had a little look at the ring before we
24:55
went on the green room. Yeah. Big fucker. Doing
24:57
well. The ring. Yeah and
24:59
the guy who's quite tall. He was a
25:01
very attractive couple. Really attractive couple actually. But
25:03
yeah, good stone, really happy with it. And
25:06
yeah, not that you want my judgement but yeah. And
25:09
then at the end actually, yeah it was just
25:11
really awesome actually. We actually got told, Pete had
25:13
already left the stage at this point but I
25:15
got told, you guys are causing
25:18
a ruckus, you need to leave. And
25:20
I was like, hey man, that's what rockstars
25:22
do. I was like, see you later everyone. Rock
25:25
on. There's been lots of interesting parts
25:27
of this tour as we go. One
25:29
of the biggest things for me is
25:31
TV Ted. And
25:34
who I've actually renamed now after working with him yesterday.
25:36
And I don't know why I've never thought of this.
25:38
But I just really enjoy calling him Teddy Bear. And
25:40
I don't know why but I think it might be
25:42
because we were in a room from about 30 people
25:44
who were trying to direct a shoot. So I thought
25:47
it was just quite funny to call him Teddy Bear
25:49
for the entire day. But TV Ted has actually become
25:51
the biggest thirst trap. Yeah. The fucking tour. Yeah. He
25:53
now gets fucking screams. Because I
25:55
think people imagine that TV Ted probably looks
25:57
like a sort of a old ball. bloke
26:00
and actually they're quite happy that he looks
26:02
like the ginger Jack Harlow so he's yeah
26:04
he's doing really well. Someone was screaming, he's
26:06
fair and I was like oh go on
26:08
and said like a proud parent. Getting selfies
26:10
with people he's having a lovely and beardy
26:12
as well you know. Produced a chance, someone
26:14
even went is that produced a chance? Yes
26:16
it is. And actually we spoke to TBT
26:18
yesterday and he said that him and beardy
26:21
had been in discussions to do their own
26:23
tour next year called Never Want to Be
26:25
Relevant and I think they'll probably do better
26:27
than us actually. What a strange two
26:29
they would be actually. Imagine
26:32
TBT and beardy on tour. We've had
26:34
a fucking good group of
26:36
lads and lasses being Charlotte on our tour. We've
26:38
been really really lucky. Beardy's been an absolute hero,
26:40
Ted we've known for years and we knew he
26:42
was going to be awesome. But yeah it's been
26:44
a fucking cool, on a serious note it's been
26:47
such a cool experience. I'd never done a tour,
26:49
I'd never done anything live at all, Pete's never
26:51
written a thing in his life. And
26:53
we literally, I think it's gone off without a hitch
26:55
really be isn't it? Um no,
26:59
well a couple of hicks of all like you know. I
27:01
don't know if I'd go that far. It's been pretty pretty,
27:03
I feel like we've been pretty smooth sailing. Um yeah it
27:05
has been it has been good. Birmingham was also I mean
27:08
Plaidium was my favourite show out of
27:10
all of them. I maintain Plaidium was
27:12
Pete's big moments. I mean
27:14
it was just my favourite one because my mum
27:16
was there. But Birmingham I had a big group
27:18
of friends come and meet with Birmingham. Pete's Biker
27:21
Gang came and met us in Burton Brummy.
27:23
They're not gang. Oh sorry,
27:25
Biker Pad Squad. Biker
27:28
Squad. Friends? Squadron. Squadron,
27:30
okay Squadron. Pete's Biker
27:32
Squadron came. They
27:34
came down, Pete's Biker Squadron and
27:37
they were so lovely. And they were
27:39
like all them came and we all
27:41
had a drink afterwards. And they were all introducing themselves
27:43
and I was like mate I already know who you are.
27:45
Because Pete's told me so much about you. And there
27:47
was one guy who called himself like Big Pete because
27:49
he looked a little bit like Pete. He doesn't call
27:51
himself Big Pete. Oh right okay. Everyone calls him Big
27:53
Pete. I mean little Pete. Who else have we got?
27:56
You've got ages, you've got loads of people there. They
27:58
were so nice though. They've led the MRA's. and
28:00
loads of people come, it was good. But
28:02
you know it's like the legendary biker squadron,
28:04
you like, herders. There's lots of great feeds
28:06
on show. Tats everywhere. And also, do you
28:08
know what's really interesting? Yeah, just one, yeah.
28:10
Do you know what's really interesting about this
28:12
whole sort of group dynamic they have is
28:14
the Pete's the pussy. So
28:17
like, in their group of
28:20
pals, bearing in mind, none
28:22
of them are really big drinkers, right?
28:24
Oh, yeah. So you've got a guy
28:26
who's really, looks hard as nails, probably
28:28
is. Big
28:30
old beard. He was covered up with a blankie and a cup of
28:32
tea. And I was like, Pete, how
28:34
have you found these people? Because Pete's the only
28:37
one doing shots to kill. Everyone else is
28:39
really civilized. We've all got amazing jobs. They
28:41
look scary as fuck, but like, other than
28:43
that. And then like, Pete gets really nervous
28:45
in front of them and he's like really
28:47
quiet and he's just so sweet. I wouldn't
28:49
say quiet, mate. I mean, I was screaming
28:51
at the same time. Yeah, but you know
28:53
what I mean. Like, you're definitely like a
28:56
lot more sheepish in front of them. I
28:58
mean, I'm the newbie. Yeah,
29:00
I don't know if you go sheepish. Maybe that's the
29:02
wrong word. Yeah, I mean, bearing in mind, I forced
29:04
them all to come out with me quite a lot What
29:08
is the word? What are you? Well, I'm
29:10
just, they're just my new friends, aren't they?
29:12
Trying to fit in. Yeah, just trying to fit
29:14
in. Yeah, and they call it riding and then
29:16
Pete calls it riding and I'm like, oh, look,
29:18
he's calling it riding. Like, okay, that's just what
29:20
everyone calls it. You ride a bike. I
29:22
just loved it. I thought it was really nice. They didn't come
29:24
up with that. It was so nice to see Pete. Should we
29:27
call it riding? Yeah. I'm
29:29
gonna do it as well then. It was more like riding.
29:31
We're riding. Well, that was my favorite part of the night,
29:33
was actually Sam, I was all having a
29:35
picture, Sam not knowing what to do in the picture.
29:37
So for the first time ever just did that. Ah!
29:41
Which was really nice picture, actually. It was really
29:43
nice. But yeah, that was good. That was nice.
29:46
I told them that I drove a scooter. They
29:48
were literally like legends. They weren't actually, they were
29:50
quite rude about it. They were literally disgusted that
29:52
I had a CBT. But yeah, it was good.
29:54
It was fucking happy days. Anyway, there is one
29:57
thing that we haven't spoken to people on the
29:59
tour, but now. that the London dates are both
30:01
done is that we had a surprise for
30:03
everyone in the London shows and that
30:05
was a hero of
30:07
mine personally and one
30:10
of the main reasons Stan relevant was
30:12
born and possibly
30:14
just one of the most amazing people I've ever
30:16
met in my life. We had a surprise guest
30:18
to sing at the end of every show in
30:21
London and that surprise guest was Sean
30:23
Williamson aka Barry from EastEnders. It
30:26
came old Big Brother House mate. Yes. Came
30:28
on. Actually he did come up and played
30:30
him. He said who remembers being Stan from
30:32
Big Brother? No one. Silence.
30:35
Absolute silence. I
30:38
barely remember it. But let me tell
30:40
you about Barry. He's got the fucking
30:42
voice of an angel. He's just an
30:44
absolute legend. His boy. Yeah. His wife
30:46
Adele is lovely as well. She come
30:48
with him and yeah they're just amazing.
30:50
So we are very thankful to Sean
30:52
for coming to those London gigs because
30:55
as you have heard I've had to sing every
30:57
night so I sing every single night I needed
30:59
him there because my voice was going and also
31:01
he can actually hold a tune where as I
31:04
stand I'm swinging a bag of cats against
31:06
the wall. There's some really nice footage of
31:08
Pete and Barry hugging each other on the
31:10
receiver. You've seen it hugging each other on
31:12
stage at the Palladium and the
31:14
Sweet Caroline's booming out and it's just
31:16
like it makes me well up. It's
31:18
so lovely and it's just like such
31:20
an amazing finish to such an amazing
31:22
journey. Sean Legend. Let me tell you
31:24
also how much of a legend Sean
31:26
is because obviously he was a surprise
31:28
for the London gigs so Sean would
31:31
actually turn up to the venue in
31:33
disguise. Shut up! Did you
31:35
not know this? No! He was creeping
31:37
into the venue so that he didn't
31:40
go noticed in baseball caps sunglasses and
31:42
looks literally like a fucking spy. And
31:45
we didn't ask him to do that. He
31:47
just did that off of his phone. Really clever
31:49
though actually. That's when you know you're working with
31:52
a fucking big dog. Yeah. And he is a
31:54
big dog and the crowd went
31:56
nuts. They always do for him
31:58
to be fair because I... I feel like we
32:00
got that a little bit right on this tour. We
32:03
are, beers in the air, sort of like, just gonna
32:05
have a real nice time. And Barry symbolizes that completely.
32:07
So Sean, you're a legend, thank you. And he, I
32:09
mean, he obviously is used to doing a lot of
32:11
this because he does Barioki, which if you haven't been
32:13
to, you need to go to. I'm actually going to
32:15
one very, very soon in Brighton on the 27th of
32:18
April. So if you'd like to
32:20
come, please come. That
32:23
was the worst bit of program I've ever,
32:26
for you there, Sean. I apologize. I'll be
32:28
there. We
32:30
haven't discussed the complete and
32:32
utter disrespect that Ted, Sam, and
32:35
Beardy showed me. I even know where this
32:37
is coming from. On a day where we'd
32:39
been on tour for a couple of days
32:41
and I was feeling rough. My body was
32:43
aching. My voice had gone
32:46
and I'd said, listen, when we get to the
32:48
hotel, because we're going to get there a bit
32:50
earlier, I booked a massage. Absolutely fine, no worries.
32:53
Spoke to Jack. Bus driver, we've got
32:55
loads of time, mate. Don't worry about it. We've just
32:57
got to make one stop at the service station. Just
32:59
to get some fuel and we'll just pick up some
33:01
sandwiches and stuff and then we'll get to the hotel
33:03
so you can have that massage before the
33:05
show. Now, I was tired. It
33:08
had been a long tour. Do you know what
33:10
I mean? Like, I mean, it wasn't long, but it had been long
33:12
because I had to spend a lot of time with him. Hello. And
33:15
everyone else, and it was hectic and there was
33:17
a lot going on. I just needed to revitalize
33:20
and refresh. And that's what any tube star would. And
33:22
that's what I thought the massage would do. We had
33:24
loads of time. Loads and loads
33:26
of time to get there. It's just that one
33:28
stop at the service station for people to get
33:30
lunch. So Ted, beardie and Sam went and got
33:33
lunch and they sat in Nando's for
33:35
two hours. Two
33:37
hours, they sat in Nando's. Absolutely
33:39
no need to sit in Nando's for two fucking
33:42
hours. I was asleep, so they didn't realize. And
33:44
then by the time I wake up, we get to the
33:46
hotel and I'm like, oh, so what
33:48
time's this massage then? Oh, you missed it. By
33:52
half an hour. I said, what? We
33:54
were going to be like an hour early. Yeah,
33:56
no, traffic is what they told me. There
34:01
was lots of traffic. I was like for fuck's sake.
34:03
Then we had to get ready and go do the
34:05
show. And it was only when I got back on
34:07
the bus the next day when Jack went to me.
34:10
You know them fuckers eh? Made you miss a message
34:12
with the Nandos. Say what? I
34:14
blame Luke on that because he couldn't pick what he
34:16
wanted from the menu. For two hours! Mate he was
34:18
honestly, I just hurry him up. I was just like
34:21
dude who goes to Nandos and doesn't know what they
34:23
want. For one. And for two, it was
34:26
quite a leisurely munch. You
34:28
did it on purpose. I know you
34:30
do these things on purpose. I don't know
34:32
what you're talking about. It's the same day that you threw that alarm
34:34
in and I smashed my head on the fucking back. You
34:37
do it on purpose. It was actually Beatty's
34:40
idea. And he went hey Sam do you
34:42
want to utilise the rape alarm? I was like come
34:44
on then Luke. Yeah and then listen do you know what
34:46
and that's fucking disrespectful as well. He was just pissed
34:48
off because I wouldn't bury his fucking Tamagotchi in a
34:50
pillow. That was so funny. I really like that. I really
34:52
enjoyed that. Pete's so disappointed when he got in. Yeah
34:54
I was in, my body was in bits Sam. Oh my
34:56
god I haven't told you. I had a cock off
34:58
with a guy in a sauna in a
35:01
hotel in Cardiff. Whose was bigger?
35:03
No it's just like you know when you
35:05
have a sauna in someone and like he
35:08
basically, I was already in there and
35:10
this is like in between. This is the same day he
35:13
came into your side. He came into the sauna and he
35:15
was like do you mind if I put water on it?
35:17
I was like yeah yeah go for it because it makes
35:19
me like it's not very hot. And I was like alright
35:21
okay. He's be rude. And I was like
35:23
yeah fine don't worry about it. It's absolutely cool. So he's poured
35:26
loads of water but he made a point out of pouring loads
35:28
of water on the coals. I'm like oh
35:30
fucking boy. But I stayed in and stuck it out
35:32
and then I poured my water on it as well.
35:35
And then about a minute later I could
35:37
see him go oh fucking hell his eyes
35:39
are tearing up. A minute later he then
35:42
went I just don't think it's hot enough.
35:44
He started pouring his on and I literally
35:46
sat there and I even passed out in
35:48
the fucking sauna. I'm not leaving this fucking
35:50
place until he leaves. So I literally nearly
35:52
died in that past. And I won. Right
35:56
wrap it up. That's it. He's bored. So
35:58
we are done. is staying rolling
36:00
for another week. It's been a real pleasure
36:03
talking tours, talking... Just talk.
36:07
I apologise if this is
36:09
a bit of a weird episode because it has been what
36:12
can only be described as a
36:14
disaster. However, we will be back
36:17
better than ever. I think we're
36:19
just nervous about Plymouth. Next week,
36:21
I will be going back to
36:24
structure. I've had two
36:26
days, I was allowed two days to be saved this week. Yesterday
36:28
was one of those days, today was the other
36:31
one of those days. How about a lot of
36:33
fun? I've enjoyed myself. I haven't enjoyed
36:35
today as much as I did yesterday, but
36:37
yesterday I was just really free. Whereas
36:39
today I feel like I need to put the
36:41
shackles back on. See you next week. We love
36:43
you so much. Why don't I say see you
36:45
next week like I was presenting in wildlife on
36:48
that country file. So thanks for watching guys
36:50
and we will see you next week. Don't
36:53
say it or I'll be sharing sheep. Staying
36:57
relevant was an insanity studio's
36:59
production. The.
37:20
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