Podchaser Logo
Home
71: The Tour Chronicles Part 3 - Shaun Williamson, Thrown Underwear & A Proposal

71: The Tour Chronicles Part 3 - Shaun Williamson, Thrown Underwear & A Proposal

Released Sunday, 21st April 2024
Good episode? Give it some love!
71: The Tour Chronicles Part 3 - Shaun Williamson, Thrown Underwear & A Proposal

71: The Tour Chronicles Part 3 - Shaun Williamson, Thrown Underwear & A Proposal

71: The Tour Chronicles Part 3 - Shaun Williamson, Thrown Underwear & A Proposal

71: The Tour Chronicles Part 3 - Shaun Williamson, Thrown Underwear & A Proposal

Sunday, 21st April 2024
Good episode? Give it some love!
Rate Episode

Episode Transcript

Transcripts are displayed as originally observed. Some content, including advertisements may have changed.

Use Ctrl + F to search

0:17

Though. The Blue Nile Died com and

0:19

use promo code listen to get fifty

0:21

dollars off your purchase of five hundred

0:23

dollars or more. That's code Listen Had

0:26

Blue nile.com for fifty dollars off your

0:28

purchase Blue nile.com. Code Listen. The.

0:30

Valentine's Rushes here. Dive

0:40

into a world of laughs by

0:43

downloading the Amazon Music app for

0:45

free. Or go to amazon.com/comedy ad

0:47

free. That's amazon.com/comedy ad free to

0:49

catch up on the latest episodes

0:51

without the ads. It's

1:22

not a nice drink. What? I don't know. I've not tried it

1:24

yet. Make sure you follow us on YouTube,

1:26

Snapchat, TikTok, Instagram, Stem

1:33

Friday on YouTube. We'll also be doing the bonus episode

1:35

on Thursday, which you'll be able to watch on

1:38

Sunday, which makes it Monday, Thursday,

1:40

Friday, Sunday. There wasn't as much

1:42

enthusiasm for that. There was the

1:44

clap. So let's try that again.

1:47

Monday, Thursday, Friday, Sunday.

1:49

Here we go. Buckers.

1:52

Go on then, Sam. Oh, here we go. Here

1:54

we go. Follow us on all

1:56

the socials. All that shit. I'm becoming Pete now. All that

1:58

shit. Get us on in. Instagram, TikTok,

2:00

Snappy Z. I have done that bit.

2:03

Fuck! But rate, review and

2:05

do all that. We do read the reviews, read

2:07

every single one of them. Absolutely love pizza, stove,

2:09

and his ting. Have a sip quickly. Yeah, get

2:11

this because this is good asthma. So

2:15

by the time you were listening to this, we

2:18

would have recorded seven shows. We've

2:21

since also done Birmingham and

2:23

the London Palladium. Clap again. Everyone

2:28

are world famous, tall, that

2:30

everybody is talking about, from

2:32

LA to London. From

2:36

Glasgow to Plymouth. From Glasgow to Plymouth.

2:39

Everyone's talking about it. It's huge news. Yeah,

2:41

there's a few people talking about it. It's

2:44

always everywhere. Yeah, probably about 20,000 that have

2:46

seen it. Other than that,

2:48

I don't think many people are talking about

2:50

it. The Apollo, not the Apollo. Oh no,

2:52

actually we should talk about the Apollo quickly

2:54

because we have released some dates for

2:57

September. Actually, I've got the date. We've sold

2:59

out now. Oh no, okay, well the tickets aren't

3:01

available. On the 7th and the 8th of September

3:03

by the time. We sold out. Yes.

3:06

We sold out. On the 7th of April, we've

3:08

actually sold out. However, not to give anything away,

3:10

but he

3:13

has already written the second

3:15

show. It took him a couple of

3:17

days, that is it. He announced it

3:19

to the Palladium crowd. The crowd went

3:22

wild. The notebook is

3:25

back open. It's now closed.

3:27

It's now closed because he's finished it again. I

3:30

haven't seen a thing. No, but

3:32

I tried to give Sam a briefing on it yesterday,

3:34

which is, this is more like your house of fun.

3:38

And he went, ooh, I'm excited. Yeah, because I don't even know

3:40

what it means. It's going to be great. I don't know what

3:42

I meant by that, if I'm honest with you. But

3:45

it is amazing and I think it is

3:47

worth just saying, in a slightly more serious

3:49

way, we cannot believe that we've sold out

3:51

almost everything we've done this year. We are

3:53

in shock and you, the community, are the

3:55

best people ever in the entire world. Yes,

3:57

you, the community. It's a family. I

4:00

mean that's better than community. The community,

4:02

we have a community. And actually, there

4:04

was a really lovely moment after the

4:06

Palladium show where we left the stage

4:09

doors and there was a big crowd

4:11

of people out there and

4:13

they were going, Pete! Pete

4:15

went out of bra who

4:17

was dangling a red bra

4:19

and I grabbed Pete's arms

4:21

and went, Pete Wicks everybody!

4:23

And his arm went up

4:25

and he wanted to die

4:27

inside and everyone went, YEAH!

4:29

Because I just wanted to go for a fag. It

4:34

was a real issue for me. It was so

4:36

good. Yeah, the Palladium was amazing. There was just

4:38

some amazing people that have been playing with Judy

4:40

Garland. Did you see the Hall of Fame thing

4:42

in the dressing room? Who the fuck is Judy

4:44

Garland? Oh my good God. She's like

4:46

the game icon. She's at our show. See, Judy

4:48

Garland. She was at our show. No, she wasn't

4:51

at our show. She's

4:53

dead. Well, how was she there?

4:56

Because she's performed there. You've had like fucking

4:58

Sammy Davis Juniors perform there. Oh, you mean

5:00

the Wall of Fame? Exactly what I

5:02

said. Oh, I thought you meant this burve was in

5:04

our gas. No, it was so good. Judy Garland turned

5:06

up. Lots of

5:09

the big names. Elvis, he pops along. But

5:12

no, and we managed to

5:14

get the Palladium for the first time ever

5:16

chanting cock. We did! And it wasn't C-mine.

5:20

No one was confused as to who's cock.

5:22

What a show, though. What a show. Yeah,

5:26

what a show. It was fucking great. It

5:28

was your favorite one. It was fucking great. It was my

5:30

favorite one. You said it was. I did.

5:32

I said it was. Fuck you. I hate

5:34

you. But actually, also, at the very start,

5:37

me and Pete had been deliberating for a

5:39

while because we didn't know whether

5:41

we were going to sort of like do

5:43

this or not. But we ended up doing

5:45

it. It was the TV commissioners rule there

5:47

from ITV channel four. Who else was there?

5:49

ITV channel four. BBC. BBC. So all of

5:51

the big topics. Netflix and as well. Netflix.

5:53

Oh, fucking hell. And

5:56

me and Pete were in the back room. like

6:00

my agent called me and told me I need to sort of

6:02

like cut out the swear words and you know we're in front

6:04

of the people. It's not the swear words, it's the rogue shit

6:06

I think. Pete was like I just feel like it's going to

6:08

ruin the show though, you know it's for the fans, it's for

6:10

the community and the family. And

6:13

I went Pete go and do what you

6:15

want and so he goes on stage and

6:17

he literally calls out every single one of

6:19

them and goes we've got big TV commissioners

6:21

here, it's nice, the BBC ITV channel for

6:24

staying with us, the start of this is

6:26

a sitcom, none of you fuckers wanted it.

6:29

Now they're all begging for fucking tickets to come

6:31

in tonight, how about that? Then got everyone

6:33

to boo them at

6:35

the fucking audience and everyone booooooo!

6:39

And then I said this and everyone's told me I've got

6:41

to calm this show down and not swear as much and

6:43

take out some of the rogue shit. And I just didn't

6:45

know what to do so I asked the one person who's

6:47

opinion matters which is Sam's and Sam

6:49

said fuck them so we're going

6:51

to carry on anyway. And we did, it

6:53

was so good, probably got the loudest cheer of the

6:55

night but you know it's one of them real dicey

6:57

moments, you're like this should go one of two ways.

7:00

But yeah, no it was a good night, we enjoyed the

7:02

play then, my mum was there and I played him. Oh

7:05

jeez he wicks! It's the first one that she's seen

7:07

so my mum and your mum met for the first time. Oh

7:09

my god they did! It was

7:11

weird though because like your mum heard you at

7:14

the show saying you want to shag my mum. Yeah

7:17

and then my mum said to me after I can see wire. Shut

7:19

up! Yeah go on son. She said go on

7:21

son! I can

7:23

cheeky bear, well I'm going to shag your mum. See

7:26

it's not funny when you say it. Are we done with

7:28

the mum joke? Yeah we're done. Ok excellent, I'm going to

7:30

shag your mum love. Where

7:32

should we go for a mum? I don't know what panic

7:34

we're on now. Birmingham, let's do Birmingham. Yeah why did we

7:37

start with the playing team? It was the most recent one,

7:39

I was just so sorry. So we're going backwards. Yeah look

7:41

you said you went Sam. Sorry I love you. Pete

7:44

went Sam, you're going to, I think

7:46

Pete's panicked because he thinks he's talked

7:48

too much so he's now taking me

7:50

to on side and gone Sam I

7:52

need you to lead some of this

7:54

podcast and now I've

7:56

completely just gone away

7:58

from the cue card. yet again this

8:01

is the reason that I generally try and do

8:03

this because I like structure we all know that

8:05

I like a format and a structure so we're

8:07

working backwards on the show today anything

8:10

else on the Palladium you'd like to mention? well I

8:12

was fucking up with it Palladium, is there anything else

8:14

that happened in Palladium? it was the second string for

8:17

the after party oh the second string for the after

8:19

party, another one I didn't turn up to Beardy, Ted,

8:21

the usual faces the usuals,

8:23

Team Feral, we all had another night in string first

8:25

Sam went home, that was fun no to be fair

8:27

you had a good, for once you had a good

8:30

excuse this time yeah my poor cat's been

8:32

in Animal Hospital, I'm not gonna lower the

8:34

tone, he's better now but imagine one of

8:36

the biggest triumphs of our career is we

8:39

are in the after show party everyone like

8:41

that we know and love and bosses are

8:43

all in this room everyone we know and

8:45

love and tv people yeah and we get

8:48

clapped in, people think we're having a row

8:51

and it wasn't, it was because of my cat so I had to

8:53

take it home yeah it's just reminded

8:55

me of another moment because I actually forgot

8:57

about some of the things I say about

9:00

Zara in the show at the time and

9:02

she was obviously in a quite an upset state

9:04

of mind whilst I was talking

9:06

about them having sex and stuff I

9:08

also forgot that her dad was in the audience, that was

9:10

tough so Alan got quite a few shout outs from me

9:13

yeah that was bad sorry Alan, I hope you're good like

9:15

what do I do as the prospective boyfriend, do I like

9:17

go out to Alan Artisan, I just want to let you

9:19

know I think I do try a new technique like I

9:21

do satisfy daughter sorry I didn't know what you meant I

9:23

didn't know what he meant but like do you know what

9:26

I mean, is it almost like do you almost want to

9:28

be that guy who goes up and goes no no I

9:30

promise you she is a satisfied daughter like she's having a

9:32

good time I can deal with it or do I go

9:34

no you're right we don't have sex what

9:37

would a dad rather hear yeah of course

9:39

yeah I'm sure you do want him to

9:41

know that you can fuck his daughter I'm

9:43

sure that's really happy for him should we

9:46

move on from that because I like Alan

9:48

we skim over the amount of underwear we've

9:50

now got saved ah not saved for later

9:52

use but as in we've got saved from

9:54

the core mate we've

9:57

got about seven pairs of underwear some

9:59

pants some brown I think it's more than that now.

10:01

It might even be more. Like people have written in solid.

10:05

Chaz has had to put on a wash. People

10:07

have written inside the bras, like Pete, call

10:09

my mum, or like this is my number.

10:12

The Palladium was a record hire for underwear.

10:14

Yeah. Actually, Palladium was genuinely a

10:16

record hire. There was actually one delightful

10:19

lady who was up in

10:21

the, kind of one of

10:23

the boxes. Oh, yeah! Because what people do,

10:25

listen, it's funny that the people are throwing the

10:27

underwear. So she's up in the fucking box,

10:30

and normally what people do is people will

10:32

bring a spare bra or underwear, you'd presume,

10:35

not this lady. She'd

10:37

seen that people were throwing underwear, stood

10:39

up, undid her fucking bra, and went wee

10:42

and threw it down. But I appreciate that

10:44

one. It was really good. One of my

10:46

favorite moments from that though is that she

10:48

obviously had done something quite big there. She'd

10:50

obviously ripped off the bra. She was actually

10:52

wearing it. Like Pete just said. The beauty

10:54

is that Pete is a stickliff of structure.

10:56

We were going off cards, right? So Pete,

10:59

I took the bra. Pete said, I

11:01

went, yeah, sweet, thank you, and then moved on. And

11:03

you know when someone just like expects a bigger reaction

11:05

than what they've got? So she's kind of

11:07

sat there going, and she

11:09

just sat back down. And you know when

11:11

someone's expecting something bigger because thanks, love, and

11:13

then just moved on. It

11:16

was so good. And

11:18

she sat and went, ah, just thought I'd get more than that.

11:21

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. You

11:24

want to stick to the structure? Oh, mate.

11:27

Oh, face of the picture. We had some

11:29

quite good audience interactions throughout the tour, to

11:33

be fair. You know, we have the seat of

11:35

shame bit, which is loads of fun. And with

11:37

the seat of shame, we had someone bring a prop

11:39

on. That

11:41

was a fun one. Well, I think we should explain

11:44

it a little bit. She comes on with a wet

11:46

floor sign. So yeah, so this lady, we do the

11:48

seat of shame, and she comes on and she's got

11:50

a plastic bag with her. Backstage, because we meet them

11:52

backstage just quickly to have like a picture and just

11:54

go, oh look, I hope you can do a show.

11:57

And you know, don't worry about it too much. It's going to be loads of fun.

11:59

And she had a plastic bag. I didn't know was in the plastic bag

12:01

and I went what's in the bag? And she went oh, you'll find out.

12:03

Oh my god. So I went, well okay. And

12:06

I said to Charlotte, I was like, what's that for?

12:08

And she went, you'll see. And I thought, what the fuck's

12:10

going on here? Anyway, she

12:12

comes on the fucking stage, literally puts

12:14

up a wet floor sign. And I'm

12:16

like, what the fuck's that? Sam

12:18

goes, what's that for? She went, because I'm sat

12:20

near Pete. And I thought, oh

12:22

god, this is fucking weird. But we had a

12:24

bit of a laugh about it and it was

12:26

all really funny whilst we were on stage. We've

12:29

got a Mexican wave in Birmingham as well. Mexican

12:31

wave. It's a Manchester, again, was a really, really

12:33

fun show. But we also had a guy

12:35

who was in the front row, he was sat

12:37

right in front of me and was just randomly,

12:39

you know, we'd do bits on stage, me and Sam,

12:42

and he'd go, I know what you mean mate!

12:44

Like just shout random shit and

12:46

he was literally right in front of

12:48

me. So he randomly sat it out, I bet

12:50

you can't rap. And

12:53

I literally heard it, I went, what mate? And he went,

12:55

I bet you can't rap. I went, I bet you can't.

12:57

And he went, I can actually. I went, come on then,

12:59

thinking he weren't going to do it, midway through the show.

13:01

And as we know, it takes a lot for me to

13:03

go off the truck. Yes, right. We are

13:05

so off-piece at this moment in time. It's like

13:07

Clam's on stage. So then I

13:09

help him up on stage, he's got a Hawaiian shirt on.

13:11

So I said, what are you going to rap then? What

13:13

did he rap? And

13:16

that's what he sounded like. Yeah, yeah,

13:18

yeah. Because he

13:20

started it. I thought he's

13:22

going to go one way or another because the crowd are either going to

13:24

love this or they're going to hate it. Well

13:27

the first half is... And rap ruined the show.

13:29

Yeah, so everyone's right. There's everyone they fucking go.

13:32

And you ever seen The Office when David Brenton,

13:34

they all clap him and then he starts dancing

13:36

and they all slowly start clapping. And it went

13:38

dead silent. And at that point I

13:40

thought I'm going to have to pull him off, not pull him off,

13:42

not take him off stage. But then he

13:44

sped up really quickly and people started getting involved.

13:47

I think they felt sorry because I think everyone felt the

13:49

tension. And then he got a bit round and paused and

13:51

went to blow him off. But yeah, just very weird. But

13:54

do you know what? To have the balls to do it,

13:56

fair play. He nearly... The

13:58

anger in Pete's eyes. when he

14:00

was ruining the show was something

14:02

else. I did see him after

14:04

the show because they'd managed to get backstage. Him

14:07

and his girlfriend, I honestly don't

14:09

know how, but they said they

14:11

just took a wrong turn in and as we

14:13

come off the stage, they were in the corridors

14:15

backstage, and he was actually a really, really nice

14:17

guy, and his girlfriend was lovely. And they're big

14:19

listeners, so I apologize. One of my other favorite

14:22

audience interactions was when we do the Q&A. The

14:24

Q&A is always a fun bit, but it can go rogue and

14:27

it can go weird and you get some weird shit. Or you

14:29

just get some people who don't

14:31

realize that they're in the middle of what is effectively

14:33

supposed to be a comedy show. That leads onto another

14:36

story where I was actually told that I should do

14:38

so, so I've wrote some material. Well, I don't think

14:40

this should be an off-the-cuff thing. I think it should announce,

14:42

it's quite a big note. In the note, but we don't

14:44

know because we don't know what we're gonna do, but I

14:46

may do an open mic night somewhere. And if you think

14:48

I'm not gonna be there, you have

14:51

another thing coming. The heckling that

14:53

Pete is gonna, who's this old

14:55

prick? Get off the stage and

14:57

knob! I would never

15:00

do that to you. No, it's good practice for

15:02

me. Because you have to go through

15:04

all the working men's clubs and the tough crowds before you

15:06

get the Apollo gigs. Or just go straight in like

15:08

we have. Cool, carry on,

15:10

sorry, I don't know why I'm looking at it. This

15:12

is you, man. I'm having another day, we did a

15:14

job yesterday and I was Sam for the day and

15:16

I'm gonna be Sam again today because what I've worked

15:18

out is it's fucking fun. It's so

15:20

fun. Yesterday, I was just screaming random shit out. We

15:23

were in a big studio and I was just doing

15:25

parkour around the studio doing weird shit and it's so

15:27

much fun. It was just

15:30

moving and shaking a lot. Why would you go

15:32

between not just Dom? Because you were literally going

15:34

like this. Yeah, I was like a pigeon. There's

15:36

a video of you just literally just back and

15:38

forth. We were doing this, I'll

15:40

make it very quick, we were doing this job

15:42

together yesterday and I was being the serious one

15:44

and Pete was literally being like the silly one

15:47

in the mood. He went, I know why you

15:49

like this. So much fun. It's like we've now

15:51

sort of got a new version of Pete. Pete

15:53

3.0 that has just started and I can't wait

15:56

to see where we go with it. Yeah, and

15:58

I see how much the roles reverse. yesterday

16:00

is that Sam at the halftime lunchtime break

16:02

told me and went mate you're gonna have

16:04

to fucking help me through this now. Yeah,

16:06

I said to Pete at this event I

16:08

went mate look this is running a bit

16:10

over can you sort of like revert back

16:12

to Pete Wicks and like get annoyed at

16:14

people? I was like and I went

16:16

no! Yeah Pete wanted to be there for hours! Anyway

16:19

that's by the by I'm gonna

16:21

keep on Pete's script here okay,

16:23

so we went to Birmingham and

16:26

this was quite a big one was a very

16:28

big one What was that it was that arena?

16:30

It was our arena tour! Well one to date.

16:32

Yeah, I mean it's not a tour then is

16:34

it? Our arena date. We need a gig. All

16:36

right, are we giggers? We are fucking giggers. We're

16:38

giggers. We actually do it. So

16:41

we went to Birmingham six thousand

16:43

people it's a lot because

16:45

I think that by that point the

16:47

biggest capacity we'd had was what

16:50

like two thousand? Yeah about two thousand.

16:52

Two grand. Two grand. Two

16:54

bob and then we Yeah,

16:56

always thinking in cheddar but

16:58

if it was actually Just while

17:00

we're talking about money doing well on the merch which

17:03

for us has been quite good I'm surprised he haven't

17:05

said I feel like your ear is more tough and

17:07

starving Regardless

17:11

of my ear that's not tender now is it? Legal

17:15

tender is it? We actually

17:17

have just been sent the the merch

17:20

details from producer Chaz. The ratio is

17:22

oh I'm not bad. Oh, that's terrible

17:25

Okay so if you don't know

17:27

the details were selling how Pete from the calendar years we've

17:29

got the top off one of them and It

17:32

was shown now and I

17:35

am just sat there smiling. Well, you did have two

17:37

people Okay, who told me

17:39

this who told us this? Pip up with it.

17:41

No, I think it was was it Alan Was

17:43

it Alan? You might have been Alan. Alan? Alan's

17:46

dad. Alan! Alan! Who

17:48

was it? Steve! I can't remember but yes someone

17:50

did. Alan! Yeah, it told us that they were

17:53

sat on a row where two girls spent the

17:55

entire time just screaming Sam sits on my face

17:58

So mate you're a first trap But...

18:01

I'm a thrust

18:03

baby, thrust. Okay.

18:08

And I've lost those two people. I'm

18:14

Sandra, and I'm just the professional your small business

18:16

was looking for. But you didn't

18:18

hire me, because you didn't use LinkedIn jobs.

18:20

LinkedIn has professionals you can't find anywhere else,

18:23

including those who aren't actively looking for a

18:25

new job but might be open to the

18:27

perfect role, like me. In a

18:29

given month, over 70% of LinkedIn

18:31

users don't visit other leading job sites. So

18:33

if you're not looking on LinkedIn, you'll miss

18:35

out on great candidates, like Sandra. Start

18:38

hiring professionals like a professional.

18:40

Post your free job on

18:42

linkedin.com/people today. Tired of ads

18:44

intruding into your favorite comedy

18:46

podcasts? Good news! Ad-free

18:49

listening is available on Amazon Music for all

18:51

the music plus top podcasts included with

18:53

your Prime membership. Dive into a world of

18:55

laughs by downloading the Amazon Music app

18:57

for free or go to Dive into a world of laughs by downloading the Amazon Music app for free.

18:59

Or go to amazon.com/comedy ad free.

19:02

That's amazon.com/comedy ad free to catch

19:04

up on the latest episodes without

19:06

the ads. Oh,

19:13

you've got the new belt. Oh no. No. No.

19:18

Let's put it in the belt. I've

19:21

been hiding it all day. Oh, okay. So

19:23

where's this one from? Because you veered away

19:26

from the little Gucci belt and you seem

19:28

to have borrowed someone's father's

19:30

belt. It's

19:32

not, it's not, imagine, you know what? I

19:34

literally, after the Gucci belt debacle, I

19:37

went and bought myself a fucking masculine belt.

19:40

No, it is masculine. You don't need to fuck the mic with

19:42

it. Hey, I'm trying to show. Also, you haven't had a

19:44

little shame for a while. I know, I need to. You've

19:46

got more hair on your stomach than the back of your

19:48

head. Maybe they could just actually do the graft from there.

19:51

They can do that. Oh, I've got the guy to send

19:53

us the hair transplant number. This is great, actually. We don't

19:55

get the, fuck it. Ignore this. Just fucking

19:57

crack on. Sam got a message yesterday whilst we were at the

19:59

Gucci belt. at this job from, who was that?

20:01

One of the exec producers of Love Island. And

20:04

this is what I said, this is when we're on

20:06

the job together. Sam, how are you? You have been

20:08

a busy boy. My clinic where I got my hair

20:11

transplant, want you and Pete to go in. Happy to

20:13

pass on details if you want. Pete was devastated. Right

20:15

in the middle of a job, he stops the shoot to

20:17

read that out to his IRA. Ha ha ha ha. Literally

20:21

stops it to read that out to his IRA. So cute. But

20:23

yeah, I do have a new belt, mate. It's a bit

20:25

of a more masculine bastard. Mate, that's the smallest belt I've ever

20:28

seen. I know. Go on, get back to the cars, mate. Tour

20:30

manager Luke leans over the train seats

20:34

with the seating plan of Birmingham. And

20:36

that's where Pete really got a good

20:39

view of what we were dealing with.

20:41

Okay, so as usual. Hyperventilating. As usual,

20:43

no one believes you because you talk

20:45

shit. So that's exactly what happened the

20:48

other way round. Is

20:50

that I showed Sam a seating plan and

20:52

then really got the actual seating plan, a

20:54

rough seating plan. And Sam was

20:56

silent for about four minutes with

20:59

his mouth open, just going. Heavy

21:03

breathing, it was weird. Then he went, we can't do

21:05

it. Whilst

21:08

we were on the way. I'm not sure I can

21:10

do it. We can't do it. Charlotte, can we do

21:12

it? Beardy, can we do it? And I think he

21:14

may have asked the old lady in front of us

21:16

whether or not we could do it. Mate,

21:19

it's a lot of seats, man. It's

21:21

a fucking big arena. Sam

21:23

then went on, when we

21:25

hit half time in Birmingham, after all the panic beforehand,

21:27

he went on to, we should put on a date

21:29

at the O2. So

21:33

he quickly got over the panic and

21:35

absolutely fucking loved it. We could do

21:37

stadiums, motherfuckers. We can. Well,

21:39

Sam, we can't do it. We can, we

21:41

absolutely can. I think we performed better in

21:43

stadiums actually. We've not done a stadium. Arenas.

21:47

A small arena. It was a big arena. We

21:49

echoed on the mics. I

21:51

got in the crowd on the mic. I

21:53

took off my top, span it around, had

21:55

a vest on. I felt like Justin Bieber.

21:57

You did not look like Justin Bieber. I

22:00

got told as a first track. Well, you looked

22:02

checked actually. Thank you very much Yeah, you did

22:04

you did look pretty fucking pretty good there climbed

22:06

into the crowd But we just worked out that's

22:08

because you've got the waist of a fucking chopstick.

22:10

So your shoulders will of course look bigger But

22:14

no, it was a good one Birmingham is

22:17

your favorite one did by mom. Yeah, I

22:19

absolutely loved it I genuinely

22:21

we had a scream the size

22:23

of like how big was a scream? It was

22:25

enormous and then we had our own separate little screens on either

22:27

side Yeah, we did. Yeah,

22:29

it was really good It was it was a

22:31

good one that Birmingham actually and we'd learned from

22:34

previous previous shows because there was a barrier and

22:36

security In front which was good. So no one

22:38

could rampage destroy my Dignity

22:41

dignity, but we had a really big thing that happened

22:43

in Birmingham, which we haven't had on the other shows

22:45

and we had a proposal I

22:49

know you have because you're not reading cards.

22:51

Oh, yeah, so Reese and Lucy This

22:54

has been going on for how long Charlotte months

22:56

and fucking however long it's been going on Reese

22:58

wanted to propose to his missus Lucy. Go on race

23:00

and Listen we facilitated

23:02

that shit. That's what we did. It was actually

23:04

really cute and really nice, but I'll be honest

23:06

with you I heard so much about the engagement

23:08

and have done for the last couple of months

23:10

Sam found out it was happening on the night

23:14

But they were really beautiful couple. It was

23:16

it was really good there was a dangerous moment through the

23:18

planning of the The engagement because

23:20

Sam was in charge of the ring. Oh,

23:22

yeah Oh, I'm had been

23:24

in charge of the ring throughout the show

23:27

in his little cargo pocket. Yeah now I

23:30

Volunteered to take the ring, but

23:32

Sam wanted that job. Yeah, I had to

23:34

pull Sam to the side before and just

23:37

go No parkour today

23:40

We need the ring So if

23:42

you were at Birmingham and you noticed him doing this

23:44

all the time It's just because he was checking that

23:46

the ring was still he also you did a great

23:49

job Pete told me I was on a strict instructions

23:51

to never look at the couple in question Yes, because

23:53

Sam obviously know we knew where they were sitting and

23:55

I said to Sam because I know what sounds like

23:57

You will literally just spend the whole night like that So

24:03

I said you just cannot look to that side of

24:06

the stage. So Sam said most of the thing just

24:08

looking over there. You know when you take things really

24:10

literally? It's not like I'm not even going to fucking

24:12

look on that half of the arena. Just because I

24:14

really want to mess it up at all. And then

24:16

we sprayed champagne everywhere. That nearly went fucking wrong because

24:18

everyone nearly slipped over on it. Well we didn't did

24:20

we? We were supposed to just give

24:22

them a bottle of champagne but Sam thought

24:24

he'd lose Hamilton for a minute and just thought he'd fucking

24:27

spray it all over this fucking shop. Which made the rest

24:29

of the show really dicey for us. I

24:31

didn't knee slide on stage as well. And

24:34

I don't think Lucy was over the moon

24:36

because she ran and hid behind the set.

24:38

Because the champagne was pouring down at her

24:40

from her great height. But

24:43

really nice couple. Lovely. Congratulations. It's

24:45

the first Staying Red Room proposal.

24:47

And we did it live on

24:49

stage baby! And it

24:51

went off without a hitch realistically. And also I

24:53

had a little look at the ring before we

24:55

went on the green room. Yeah. Big fucker. Doing

24:57

well. The ring. Yeah and

24:59

the guy who's quite tall. He was a

25:01

very attractive couple. Really attractive couple actually. But

25:03

yeah, good stone, really happy with it. And

25:06

yeah, not that you want my judgement but yeah. And

25:09

then at the end actually, yeah it was just

25:11

really awesome actually. We actually got told, Pete had

25:13

already left the stage at this point but I

25:15

got told, you guys are causing

25:18

a ruckus, you need to leave. And

25:20

I was like, hey man, that's what rockstars

25:22

do. I was like, see you later everyone. Rock

25:25

on. There's been lots of interesting parts

25:27

of this tour as we go. One

25:29

of the biggest things for me is

25:31

TV Ted. And

25:34

who I've actually renamed now after working with him yesterday.

25:36

And I don't know why I've never thought of this.

25:38

But I just really enjoy calling him Teddy Bear. And

25:40

I don't know why but I think it might be

25:42

because we were in a room from about 30 people

25:44

who were trying to direct a shoot. So I thought

25:47

it was just quite funny to call him Teddy Bear

25:49

for the entire day. But TV Ted has actually become

25:51

the biggest thirst trap. Yeah. The fucking tour. Yeah. He

25:53

now gets fucking screams. Because I

25:55

think people imagine that TV Ted probably looks

25:57

like a sort of a old ball. bloke

26:00

and actually they're quite happy that he looks

26:02

like the ginger Jack Harlow so he's yeah

26:04

he's doing really well. Someone was screaming, he's

26:06

fair and I was like oh go on

26:08

and said like a proud parent. Getting selfies

26:10

with people he's having a lovely and beardy

26:12

as well you know. Produced a chance, someone

26:14

even went is that produced a chance? Yes

26:16

it is. And actually we spoke to TBT

26:18

yesterday and he said that him and beardy

26:21

had been in discussions to do their own

26:23

tour next year called Never Want to Be

26:25

Relevant and I think they'll probably do better

26:27

than us actually. What a strange two

26:29

they would be actually. Imagine

26:32

TBT and beardy on tour. We've had

26:34

a fucking good group of

26:36

lads and lasses being Charlotte on our tour. We've

26:38

been really really lucky. Beardy's been an absolute hero,

26:40

Ted we've known for years and we knew he

26:42

was going to be awesome. But yeah it's been

26:44

a fucking cool, on a serious note it's been

26:47

such a cool experience. I'd never done a tour,

26:49

I'd never done anything live at all, Pete's never

26:51

written a thing in his life. And

26:53

we literally, I think it's gone off without a hitch

26:55

really be isn't it? Um no,

26:59

well a couple of hicks of all like you know. I

27:01

don't know if I'd go that far. It's been pretty pretty,

27:03

I feel like we've been pretty smooth sailing. Um yeah it

27:05

has been it has been good. Birmingham was also I mean

27:08

Plaidium was my favourite show out of

27:10

all of them. I maintain Plaidium was

27:12

Pete's big moments. I mean

27:14

it was just my favourite one because my mum

27:16

was there. But Birmingham I had a big group

27:18

of friends come and meet with Birmingham. Pete's Biker

27:21

Gang came and met us in Burton Brummy.

27:23

They're not gang. Oh sorry,

27:25

Biker Pad Squad. Biker

27:28

Squad. Friends? Squadron. Squadron,

27:30

okay Squadron. Pete's Biker

27:32

Squadron came. They

27:34

came down, Pete's Biker Squadron and

27:37

they were so lovely. And they were

27:39

like all them came and we all

27:41

had a drink afterwards. And they were all introducing themselves

27:43

and I was like mate I already know who you are.

27:45

Because Pete's told me so much about you. And there

27:47

was one guy who called himself like Big Pete because

27:49

he looked a little bit like Pete. He doesn't call

27:51

himself Big Pete. Oh right okay. Everyone calls him Big

27:53

Pete. I mean little Pete. Who else have we got?

27:56

You've got ages, you've got loads of people there. They

27:58

were so nice though. They've led the MRA's. and

28:00

loads of people come, it was good. But

28:02

you know it's like the legendary biker squadron,

28:04

you like, herders. There's lots of great feeds

28:06

on show. Tats everywhere. And also, do you

28:08

know what's really interesting? Yeah, just one, yeah.

28:10

Do you know what's really interesting about this

28:12

whole sort of group dynamic they have is

28:14

the Pete's the pussy. So

28:17

like, in their group of

28:20

pals, bearing in mind, none

28:22

of them are really big drinkers, right?

28:24

Oh, yeah. So you've got a guy

28:26

who's really, looks hard as nails, probably

28:28

is. Big

28:30

old beard. He was covered up with a blankie and a cup of

28:32

tea. And I was like, Pete, how

28:34

have you found these people? Because Pete's the only

28:37

one doing shots to kill. Everyone else is

28:39

really civilized. We've all got amazing jobs. They

28:41

look scary as fuck, but like, other than

28:43

that. And then like, Pete gets really nervous

28:45

in front of them and he's like really

28:47

quiet and he's just so sweet. I wouldn't

28:49

say quiet, mate. I mean, I was screaming

28:51

at the same time. Yeah, but you know

28:53

what I mean. Like, you're definitely like a

28:56

lot more sheepish in front of them. I

28:58

mean, I'm the newbie. Yeah,

29:00

I don't know if you go sheepish. Maybe that's the

29:02

wrong word. Yeah, I mean, bearing in mind, I forced

29:04

them all to come out with me quite a lot What

29:08

is the word? What are you? Well, I'm

29:10

just, they're just my new friends, aren't they?

29:12

Trying to fit in. Yeah, just trying to fit

29:14

in. Yeah, and they call it riding and then

29:16

Pete calls it riding and I'm like, oh, look,

29:18

he's calling it riding. Like, okay, that's just what

29:20

everyone calls it. You ride a bike. I

29:22

just loved it. I thought it was really nice. They didn't come

29:24

up with that. It was so nice to see Pete. Should we

29:27

call it riding? Yeah. I'm

29:29

gonna do it as well then. It was more like riding.

29:31

We're riding. Well, that was my favorite part of the night,

29:33

was actually Sam, I was all having a

29:35

picture, Sam not knowing what to do in the picture.

29:37

So for the first time ever just did that. Ah!

29:41

Which was really nice picture, actually. It was really

29:43

nice. But yeah, that was good. That was nice.

29:46

I told them that I drove a scooter. They

29:48

were literally like legends. They weren't actually, they were

29:50

quite rude about it. They were literally disgusted that

29:52

I had a CBT. But yeah, it was good.

29:54

It was fucking happy days. Anyway, there is one

29:57

thing that we haven't spoken to people on the

29:59

tour, but now. that the London dates are both

30:01

done is that we had a surprise for

30:03

everyone in the London shows and that

30:05

was a hero of

30:07

mine personally and one

30:10

of the main reasons Stan relevant was

30:12

born and possibly

30:14

just one of the most amazing people I've ever

30:16

met in my life. We had a surprise guest

30:18

to sing at the end of every show in

30:21

London and that surprise guest was Sean

30:23

Williamson aka Barry from EastEnders. It

30:26

came old Big Brother House mate. Yes. Came

30:28

on. Actually he did come up and played

30:30

him. He said who remembers being Stan from

30:32

Big Brother? No one. Silence.

30:35

Absolute silence. I

30:38

barely remember it. But let me tell

30:40

you about Barry. He's got the fucking

30:42

voice of an angel. He's just an

30:44

absolute legend. His boy. Yeah. His wife

30:46

Adele is lovely as well. She come

30:48

with him and yeah they're just amazing.

30:50

So we are very thankful to Sean

30:52

for coming to those London gigs because

30:55

as you have heard I've had to sing every

30:57

night so I sing every single night I needed

30:59

him there because my voice was going and also

31:01

he can actually hold a tune where as I

31:04

stand I'm swinging a bag of cats against

31:06

the wall. There's some really nice footage of

31:08

Pete and Barry hugging each other on the

31:10

receiver. You've seen it hugging each other on

31:12

stage at the Palladium and the

31:14

Sweet Caroline's booming out and it's just

31:16

like it makes me well up. It's

31:18

so lovely and it's just like such

31:20

an amazing finish to such an amazing

31:22

journey. Sean Legend. Let me tell you

31:24

also how much of a legend Sean

31:26

is because obviously he was a surprise

31:28

for the London gigs so Sean would

31:31

actually turn up to the venue in

31:33

disguise. Shut up! Did you

31:35

not know this? No! He was creeping

31:37

into the venue so that he didn't

31:40

go noticed in baseball caps sunglasses and

31:42

looks literally like a fucking spy. And

31:45

we didn't ask him to do that. He

31:47

just did that off of his phone. Really clever

31:49

though actually. That's when you know you're working with

31:52

a fucking big dog. Yeah. And he is a

31:54

big dog and the crowd went

31:56

nuts. They always do for him

31:58

to be fair because I... I feel like we

32:00

got that a little bit right on this tour. We

32:03

are, beers in the air, sort of like, just gonna

32:05

have a real nice time. And Barry symbolizes that completely.

32:07

So Sean, you're a legend, thank you. And he, I

32:09

mean, he obviously is used to doing a lot of

32:11

this because he does Barioki, which if you haven't been

32:13

to, you need to go to. I'm actually going to

32:15

one very, very soon in Brighton on the 27th of

32:18

April. So if you'd like to

32:20

come, please come. That

32:23

was the worst bit of program I've ever,

32:26

for you there, Sean. I apologize. I'll be

32:28

there. We

32:30

haven't discussed the complete and

32:32

utter disrespect that Ted, Sam, and

32:35

Beardy showed me. I even know where this

32:37

is coming from. On a day where we'd

32:39

been on tour for a couple of days

32:41

and I was feeling rough. My body was

32:43

aching. My voice had gone

32:46

and I'd said, listen, when we get to the

32:48

hotel, because we're going to get there a bit

32:50

earlier, I booked a massage. Absolutely fine, no worries.

32:53

Spoke to Jack. Bus driver, we've got

32:55

loads of time, mate. Don't worry about it. We've just

32:57

got to make one stop at the service station. Just

32:59

to get some fuel and we'll just pick up some

33:01

sandwiches and stuff and then we'll get to the hotel

33:03

so you can have that massage before the

33:05

show. Now, I was tired. It

33:08

had been a long tour. Do you know what

33:10

I mean? Like, I mean, it wasn't long, but it had been long

33:12

because I had to spend a lot of time with him. Hello. And

33:15

everyone else, and it was hectic and there was

33:17

a lot going on. I just needed to revitalize

33:20

and refresh. And that's what any tube star would. And

33:22

that's what I thought the massage would do. We had

33:24

loads of time. Loads and loads

33:26

of time to get there. It's just that one

33:28

stop at the service station for people to get

33:30

lunch. So Ted, beardie and Sam went and got

33:33

lunch and they sat in Nando's for

33:35

two hours. Two

33:37

hours, they sat in Nando's. Absolutely

33:39

no need to sit in Nando's for two fucking

33:42

hours. I was asleep, so they didn't realize. And

33:44

then by the time I wake up, we get to the

33:46

hotel and I'm like, oh, so what

33:48

time's this massage then? Oh, you missed it. By

33:52

half an hour. I said, what? We

33:54

were going to be like an hour early. Yeah,

33:56

no, traffic is what they told me. There

34:01

was lots of traffic. I was like for fuck's sake.

34:03

Then we had to get ready and go do the

34:05

show. And it was only when I got back on

34:07

the bus the next day when Jack went to me.

34:10

You know them fuckers eh? Made you miss a message

34:12

with the Nandos. Say what? I

34:14

blame Luke on that because he couldn't pick what he

34:16

wanted from the menu. For two hours! Mate he was

34:18

honestly, I just hurry him up. I was just like

34:21

dude who goes to Nandos and doesn't know what they

34:23

want. For one. And for two, it was

34:26

quite a leisurely munch. You

34:28

did it on purpose. I know you

34:30

do these things on purpose. I don't know

34:32

what you're talking about. It's the same day that you threw that alarm

34:34

in and I smashed my head on the fucking back. You

34:37

do it on purpose. It was actually Beatty's

34:40

idea. And he went hey Sam do you

34:42

want to utilise the rape alarm? I was like come

34:44

on then Luke. Yeah and then listen do you know what

34:46

and that's fucking disrespectful as well. He was just pissed

34:48

off because I wouldn't bury his fucking Tamagotchi in a

34:50

pillow. That was so funny. I really like that. I really

34:52

enjoyed that. Pete's so disappointed when he got in. Yeah

34:54

I was in, my body was in bits Sam. Oh my

34:56

god I haven't told you. I had a cock off

34:58

with a guy in a sauna in a

35:01

hotel in Cardiff. Whose was bigger?

35:03

No it's just like you know when you

35:05

have a sauna in someone and like he

35:08

basically, I was already in there and

35:10

this is like in between. This is the same day he

35:13

came into your side. He came into the sauna and he

35:15

was like do you mind if I put water on it?

35:17

I was like yeah yeah go for it because it makes

35:19

me like it's not very hot. And I was like alright

35:21

okay. He's be rude. And I was like

35:23

yeah fine don't worry about it. It's absolutely cool. So he's poured

35:26

loads of water but he made a point out of pouring loads

35:28

of water on the coals. I'm like oh

35:30

fucking boy. But I stayed in and stuck it out

35:32

and then I poured my water on it as well.

35:35

And then about a minute later I could

35:37

see him go oh fucking hell his eyes

35:39

are tearing up. A minute later he then

35:42

went I just don't think it's hot enough.

35:44

He started pouring his on and I literally

35:46

sat there and I even passed out in

35:48

the fucking sauna. I'm not leaving this fucking

35:50

place until he leaves. So I literally nearly

35:52

died in that past. And I won. Right

35:56

wrap it up. That's it. He's bored. So

35:58

we are done. is staying rolling

36:00

for another week. It's been a real pleasure

36:03

talking tours, talking... Just talk.

36:07

I apologise if this is

36:09

a bit of a weird episode because it has been what

36:12

can only be described as a

36:14

disaster. However, we will be back

36:17

better than ever. I think we're

36:19

just nervous about Plymouth. Next week,

36:21

I will be going back to

36:24

structure. I've had two

36:26

days, I was allowed two days to be saved this week. Yesterday

36:28

was one of those days, today was the other

36:31

one of those days. How about a lot of

36:33

fun? I've enjoyed myself. I haven't enjoyed

36:35

today as much as I did yesterday, but

36:37

yesterday I was just really free. Whereas

36:39

today I feel like I need to put the

36:41

shackles back on. See you next week. We love

36:43

you so much. Why don't I say see you

36:45

next week like I was presenting in wildlife on

36:48

that country file. So thanks for watching guys

36:50

and we will see you next week. Don't

36:53

say it or I'll be sharing sheep. Staying

36:57

relevant was an insanity studio's

36:59

production. The.

37:20

amazon.com/comedy add free to catch

37:22

up on the latest episodes

37:24

without the ads. A

37:28

cast powers the world's best podcast.

37:30

Use a show their we record.

37:35

The late bloomers tend to have more

37:37

curiosity. They tend to have more

37:39

resilience. There's stories and mythologies that

37:41

the century has woven around like this.

37:43

This is a cavalry crime. These are

37:45

the leaders of hometown heroes and

37:48

local leaders. It's a survival mechanism

37:50

to just be like worrying the

37:52

police. What if everything you've been

37:54

taught is just all wrong? What's

37:56

worse more than this fear right

37:59

now? That rising after

38:01

failure is part of the glory

38:03

of being a human being. Acast

38:07

helps creators launch, grow,

38:09

and monetize their podcasts

38:11

everywhere. acast.com.

Unlock more with Podchaser Pro

  • Audience Insights
  • Contact Information
  • Demographics
  • Charts
  • Sponsor History
  • and More!
Pro Features