Sound the trumpets! Ring the bells! Trim the hedges! Yes, it's time for another incomparable, inconceivable, incompetent epidode of Sporadically Board.

LISTEN - as Dan quizzes Mike about hip new phrases buzzing around the zeitgeist.

YEARN - as Dan discusses the pleasures of cheese on Christmas Cake.

QUIVER - as Mike elucidates on why he wants to be a guava.

GENUFLECT - to the mailbag altar, spilling its contents all over the Internet.

WEEP - at the omission of A Few Acres of Rubbish.