0:00

Welcome to Speaking of Sex

0:02

with the Pleasure Mechanics. I'm

0:04

Chris. I'm Charlotte. We are the

0:06

Pleasure Mechanics and on this podcast

0:08

we have honest, explicit,

0:11

wholesome conversations about

0:13

sex, pleasure, and the joy

0:16

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1:01

stroke by stroke, step by step, holding

1:03

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1:06

in gaining the erotic skills and strategies

1:08

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1:10

you want. You'll find

1:13

it all at pleasuremechanics.com.

1:16

On today's episode, we are responding

1:18

to a theme

1:20

that emerged in so many

1:22

of your responses to our

1:25

Shame Slayers survey. We

1:27

recently released a new

1:29

Shame Slayers teaching, a

1:32

25-minute video presentation about

1:34

how we can approach

1:37

shame, understand sexual shame,

1:39

the 19 varieties and

1:41

counting of erotic shame

1:44

that you all have named and

1:47

articulated so beautifully in this

1:49

conversation over the years. So,

1:51

you will find the Shame Slayers

1:54

teaching within the

1:56

PleasurePod at pleasuremechanics.com slash

1:59

pod. Join us

2:01

for free, become a sustaining

2:04

member if you wish, and

2:06

discover our bonus teachings and

2:08

exclusive resources for sustaining

2:10

members of this podcast. But

2:13

when we released the Shameslayer Survey, we

2:16

got this deluge of emails

2:18

and responses to the survey.

2:21

And one theme that came up that

2:23

we wanted to address directly, head on,

2:26

so to speak, on this podcast was

2:29

dick shame. We've

2:31

talked about body shame and

2:34

about genital shame more broadly.

2:36

We've talked about vulva shame

2:38

specifically. And I think

2:40

it's time we have a conversation about

2:42

dick shame. And all

2:44

of the ways that penises

2:46

and penis havers are

2:49

shamed about their very fundamental,

2:52

like their anatomy itself, and

2:54

also its natural function.

2:58

And why is this okay? Why

3:00

do we still tolerate it, including

3:02

in like sex positive spaces, and

3:05

stand up comedy, and

3:08

how like normalised this has

3:10

become, to the point where

3:12

so many responses of the survey

3:14

were saying their very partners, their

3:16

lovers, were outright

3:18

shaming them for their dicks,

3:21

their dick size, but also their functions,

3:23

and by which I mean, you

3:26

know, erections, and the very natural

3:29

capacity of penises. This is

3:31

a feature, not a bug,

3:33

the feature of cocks that

3:35

allow them to get hard and soft.

3:39

And I really want to emphasise

3:41

this once and for all, like,

3:44

erectile tissue of which we all

3:46

have in our bodies, about in

3:48

equal amounts, all bodies have

3:50

erectile tissue, in

3:53

funny places like our noses. But

3:56

Erectile tissues, especially in the

3:58

genitals, are designed. By

4:00

design to get hard

4:02

and soft again. And

4:05

then Hartigan and soft again and

4:07

hard again and soft again in

4:09

different rhythms and waves and proportions.

4:12

And. There is

4:15

no shame in a soft

4:17

dick, and there is no

4:19

shame. In one in your deck to be heard. And.

4:22

We get to play with

4:25

a whole range of that

4:27

and no body parts. Should

4:29

be shamed for it's very existence and

4:31

function. Well this is where.

4:33

As a cold so yeah, nothing to

4:35

forgive me out focus. We

4:38

have so much meaning making

4:41

about what a hard copy

4:43

means. I'm what a soft

4:45

cock means and it is

4:47

so laden with with meanings

4:49

on all parts and it's

4:51

so intense. And we see him. both sides

4:53

of that. That's the thing. It's not. Like oh

4:55

it's a lose lose our sure help Their

4:58

for decks you know, their shamed for not

5:00

being hard and and their shamed for being

5:02

hard. Their shamed for being too small, Their

5:04

shame for being too big, Their shamed for

5:06

not getting hard at the right time. There

5:09

shamed for being hard and and not staying

5:11

hard long enough. Where for staying

5:13

too hard and all of

5:15

this came through in the

5:17

survey and the accumulation of

5:19

all of that is felt

5:22

by a man by Guys

5:24

Woodcock Flake. This is nice

5:26

and easy culture and we

5:28

don't talk about this and

5:30

the psychological way that puts

5:32

on. Decks. What

5:35

gives you know those men are not

5:37

having conversations with other men about this

5:39

experience and services have that experience the

5:42

people have very solo and alone and

5:44

that has a whole bunch of other

5:46

psychological implications. And sometimes it was. You

5:48

know you ashamed about your deck as

5:51

a kid and that has just stuck

5:53

with you. Sometimes it's being teased by

5:55

siblings about a penis, or about boys

5:57

in. The locker room on some.

6:00

they came from parents as

6:02

boys hit puberty where. Their

6:04

parents got uncomfortable with their bodies all

6:06

of a sudden and started shaming. Them

6:09

And you know, shaming or

6:11

actions right like that happen

6:13

starting. In childhood.

6:17

Home and those stories stay

6:19

with us. And then to

6:21

think. That it is normal to

6:23

tease or shame your husband. About

6:26

his cock. I'm we

6:28

need to address this

6:30

and take seriously the

6:33

impact as this on.

6:35

Our ability to relax and enjoy

6:37

our sex life. Bryant.

6:40

And so I just wanna speak. Up for

6:42

cox hand especially for for

6:45

saw the exquisite diversity of

6:47

penises and Charlotte. I want

6:49

you to speak to this

6:51

because you have seen probably

6:53

a thousand or more. Decks.

6:56

Penises while you were doing

6:58

erotic massage or you are

7:00

in service to the penis

7:02

in many ways speak to

7:04

me about the range of

7:06

what you saw when. So.

7:08

Many different kinds of men would come to

7:10

you for erotic massage. Why?

7:17

I'm such a

7:19

range of size,

7:21

contour of the

7:23

curvature. I'm olds.

7:25

Arches, Such and such a

7:28

variety of testicles and skin

7:30

and how low or high

7:32

pay off from body? I

7:34

mean it's just a beautiful,

7:36

exquisite range and fascinating and

7:38

we just checked with. It's

7:40

like if you think about

7:42

human noses and he wrote

7:44

like a thousand human noses,

7:46

just the nose in front

7:48

of you as he said

7:50

like the range and the

7:52

structure and the curvature and

7:54

the the droop cm. And

7:56

those it's so stunning and they

7:58

wanna do things that if we

8:01

just embrace that whole range and

8:03

our part in it, there's no

8:05

good cocker. Bad heart, Ugly cocker,

8:08

Pretty cock. There

8:10

is just beautiful car clinic. all

8:12

bodies are beautiful and all cox

8:15

are beautiful and York hoc however

8:17

it is is just right. Like.

8:20

How can how much can you believe

8:22

me right now and I say that

8:25

to you? Your cock is perfect and

8:27

just right. That is a measure of

8:29

how much dick shame you carry. right?

8:33

We all need to believe that. We are

8:35

praiseworthy inherently. But ah, mean

8:37

our culture of. Genital shaming has

8:39

really taken that from us. So the

8:42

range of sizes. But also you

8:44

know you can speak to the

8:46

range of responsiveness and the comings

8:48

and goings of erection that are

8:50

just really. Normal.

8:53

This. Is again part of the

8:55

feature of erectile tissue that

8:58

is designed to and you

9:00

know we should just review

9:02

really quickly. Erectile tissue which

9:04

creates. The shaft of the glands

9:06

of the genitals re like and

9:08

that is president and all of

9:11

us are just ranges and size

9:13

and that the. Erectile tissue that

9:15

than is situated in him behind

9:17

the glands. Of the general I'm

9:19

encourages with blood so more blood

9:22

flows and and flows out and

9:24

this is what makes it's well

9:27

and harden and push. All of

9:29

those nerve endings closer to the surface

9:31

of the skin so it gets sensitive

9:33

in new ways. And

9:36

we'd see and can

9:38

enjoy. That or action by

9:40

a lake that is a beautiful

9:42

thing and to the tie that

9:45

comes in must go out and.

9:48

Erections losing a little bit of

9:50

blood and becoming a little more

9:52

soft. Is not a problem that's

9:54

not a defect. And

9:57

on a failure and I think it's really held

9:59

as a. Earlier and then.has.

10:02

I'm not worried. I know has a huge

10:04

impact on. Men self esteem

10:06

as masculine. Right? And this

10:08

is a culture that both I'm

10:10

talks about the dick as like

10:13

the ultimate and we degrade it

10:15

all at the same time. It's

10:17

really complicated and few the supposed

10:19

to be like a biggest insult

10:21

and something that to really deeply

10:23

aspire to. Buy. In

10:26

the meaning that if you're turned on

10:28

than you must be a rep trey

10:30

we don't demand that of Volvos. We

10:32

allow this kind of gradient of arousal,

10:34

a process of. Warming up as

10:36

in porridge meant and getting

10:38

readiness and we need to

10:40

allow the same ebb and

10:42

flow. Into penises and

10:45

entered the you know, cock for

10:47

a lake And just a bad

10:49

idea of what masculinity. Is so

10:51

much to for extra like. And

10:53

it's so ridiculous to think that

10:56

like a hard cock equals strong

10:58

masculinity like spicy learned, he is

11:00

so much broader and more complex

11:03

and nuanced and interesting. Than

11:05

this one factor one, it denies

11:07

the pleasure of soft cox and

11:10

we have done a whole episode

11:12

about soft penis pleasures of which

11:14

I am very evangelical. I love

11:17

sucking soft Park It is one

11:19

of my favorite experiences. The have

11:21

a soft penis in my mouth

11:24

arm and then to seal it

11:26

swell and feel it throb and

11:28

feel the change ability. Like the

11:31

change ability of this flesh is

11:33

part of why I worship. It

11:35

And you've talked about loving the. Experience

11:37

of feeling the and boards humans

11:39

helier right the like. In

11:42

a direct it as they are

11:44

a layer is someone is hard

11:46

and throbbing inside any of my

11:49

holes. To feel the change ability

11:51

of that is part of my

11:53

enjoyment and to affirm and celebrate

11:55

and give pleasure. To the soft

11:57

penis is a remedy. We

12:00

need that we can acknowledge this

12:02

culture that's been so shaming and

12:04

degrading against the penis at the

12:06

same time as or firing at

12:08

how confusing. What Are the. Remedies

12:10

and after we take a break

12:13

the thank our sponsor for this

12:15

episode. I wanna talk about some

12:17

affirmations and. Ways we can praise

12:19

the penis and pleasure it and

12:21

we will link to the soft

12:23

penis Pleasures episode in the show.

12:25

Notes: Were you will also

12:28

find links to our sponsors. I

12:30

wanna talk about ways we can

12:32

praise the penis and a from

12:34

it and create. A culture of

12:36

genital love and worship for

12:39

all of us. No.

12:41

Matter what bodies were in,

12:43

no matter what bodies we

12:46

love, we all deserve a

12:48

culture where our bodies are

12:51

given their inherent dignity at

12:53

least her face and from

12:56

their from dignity Praise Pleasuring.

12:58

And reverend. We

13:01

wanna take a break and thank

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to the conversation. One of the

14:44

things we noticed in the surveys

14:46

is just as much as soft

14:48

parks where shamed just as much

14:50

as small penises were shamed. Ah,

14:53

the opposites were also true, and

14:55

that's part of why I wanted

14:57

to have this conversation. Men were

14:59

being shamed for having too many

15:01

erections for waking up hard. And.

15:05

These are bigger conversations about

15:08

like the culture of the

15:10

relationships. There, But they're also

15:12

rooted in a culture that

15:14

tells us that genitals and

15:16

they're very functions are bad

15:18

and wrong and. Sinful and Growth

15:21

Ray and we can go on

15:23

and on with all of these

15:25

associations we have. From

15:27

intergenerational cultural legacies.

15:30

Of shame. And

15:32

what do we do with that? We approve it. We.

15:34

Excavated we bring it out into

15:37

daylight and into conversations, we can

15:39

actually see what we're working with

15:41

here. And start

15:44

finding options. So just

15:46

like. There are options for

15:49

a d medications. But if you're

15:51

not getting. The erections you want when

15:53

you are aroused and turned on. then

15:57

having not as a tool makes sense

15:59

just like having vibrator makes sense to

16:01

create the stimulation you want to get

16:03

aroused, right? These

16:06

options are there for us, but

16:08

they don't stand in for

16:11

the conversations and for

16:13

creating a culture

16:15

free of shame,

16:17

especially in our most inner

16:19

sanctums of our relationships. Because

16:22

the erotic connections we want are

16:24

dependent on feeling safe with one

16:26

another. And if we're

16:28

mocking one another's bodies, if we're creating

16:30

jokes at which your body is the

16:32

butt of my joke, if I'm shaming

16:35

you at home in your own bed, that

16:38

is antithetical to creating a culture

16:40

of safety, truth, intimacy, and pleasure. So

16:43

we need to knock that shit out. That

16:47

feels like front line response

16:49

of we all deserve

16:51

better than that. And as we build a

16:53

better culture, we need to very

16:55

much practice this within our relationships

16:58

and not shame one another's bodies.

17:01

Right, within the inner sanctum of our

17:03

relationship, that's where we want to feel

17:05

safest and most revered and

17:07

honored and taken care of

17:09

and appreciated. And so comments

17:12

like that are definitely the opposite of

17:14

what we want to be experiencing in

17:16

our home. So yes, culture does that

17:18

all the time, but can we shift

17:20

that in our home? And I want

17:22

to notice it doesn't even have to be targeted towards

17:25

your lover's body. Whenever you shame

17:27

any dick, you

17:29

are shame. It's just like

17:31

if you shame any women, if you

17:34

make misogynist comments, your wife, your partner,

17:36

your daughter's, the women in your life

17:38

hear that. Yeah. Right.

17:41

And so comments like you see a big truck, noisy

17:43

truck drive by and it's like, well, what is he

17:45

compensating for? That is dick shaming.

17:48

That is dick shaming. Something about

17:50

men as pigs who only want one thing, dick

17:53

shaming. Right. Shaming

17:56

the very function of male

17:58

arousal. This happens

18:00

all the time and in all

18:03

different directions. Men are either

18:05

too horny or not horny enough, right?

18:08

We exoticize very

18:11

large penises. The

18:13

men I have talked to with very

18:15

large penises, like we talked about dicks

18:17

being on a range of size and

18:20

shape and contours. Also

18:22

up to two thirds of the penis is

18:24

inside the body. It's like one of my

18:26

favorite facts ever. I'll

18:28

just say that again. Up to two thirds

18:31

of the penis is inside the body, accessible

18:34

via perineal massage,

18:36

via anal touch,

18:38

via prostate massage,

18:41

all sorts of ways to stimulate

18:43

the inner shaft of the

18:45

cock. You will

18:48

find all of those techniques

18:50

in our foreplay course at

18:52

pleasuremechanics.com/touch. And part

18:54

of what happens when you start touching

18:57

the part of the penis that

19:00

doesn't extend outside of the body

19:02

is men feel how big their

19:04

cocks are. And that

19:06

feeling of coming into your full

19:08

seat of power is delicious and

19:10

intoxicating for men, because

19:13

it's so much more than what meets the

19:15

eye. And so much of dick

19:17

culture is about what we

19:19

can see rather than what we can feel. So

19:22

I want to talk about penis praise

19:25

for a minute. First of all, just

19:27

verbal penis praise, starting to praise one

19:29

another's genitals, starting to also just eliminate

19:32

dick jokes, but also replace

19:34

it with language

19:36

that honors the cock and honors

19:39

all bodies, really. So

19:42

dick praise. Please

19:44

praise dick as regularly and

19:47

loudly as you can. As

19:49

part of the pleasuremechanics community. We'll talk more about

19:51

this as we start talking about oral sex, because

19:53

we have an oral sex course coming out

19:55

really, really soon, as in next week for you

19:58

all. And we are so excited to share. With

20:00

you and I'm kind of considering

20:02

getting Team Cock Sucker t shirts

20:04

made to really reclaim the idea

20:06

of being a proud cock sucker

20:08

or this idea that we you

20:10

know use cock sucker and fuck

20:12

you as an insult like. What

20:14

does that say about decks and sex?

20:16

We need says like shift the language.

20:19

And the culture into one that

20:21

reveres and glorifies sexuality. Are you

20:23

with me Since Feel pleasure? Dear

20:25

listener of his podcast, Are you

20:27

with me and I only glorifying

20:29

sexuality? And we can do that

20:31

through glorifying our genitals and the

20:34

sex acts yo specifically? Yeah, yeah

20:36

and learn the meaning. Like the

20:38

beauty of brings into our lives,

20:40

the joy of brings into our

20:42

lives. I love sucking cock

20:44

as it makes The man I love. Feel

20:46

loved and warm and accepted and give

20:49

them so much pleasure. And it gives

20:51

me so much pleasure to have beautiful

20:53

body parts in my mouth of all

20:55

kinds. You know I'm I'm going to

20:57

need a big wardrobe Them also team

20:59

pussy looking End. Remaining

21:01

And okay. so. I'm as

21:04

we glorify genitals. I also

21:06

want. To talk about how we

21:08

can touch bodies with more Reverend. And

21:11

touching soft penises. Is

21:13

really employer and. It's really

21:15

important to give. Them a section

21:18

in Touch Affirming touch. If

21:21

not pleasuring, An erotic touched

21:23

Just start coughing one and

21:25

others body parts with love

21:27

and care. Or in

21:29

all states of erection, of

21:31

all states of arousal this

21:33

kind of affirming touch, those

21:36

are really long way. It

21:38

says to the. Deck, You don't have to

21:40

be hard to get attention. You. don't

21:43

have to be in gorge to to

21:45

be touched and cared for and pleasures

21:47

to be significant to be important to

21:49

be successful any of those things you

21:51

matter and new are important and valuable

21:54

just as you are race and support

21:56

of that is within the relationship having

21:58

a different story about what a hard

22:00

cock means and a soft cock means.

22:02

And really, it's just all okay. Like

22:05

let there just be an ebb and

22:07

flow of arousal and

22:09

two messants and then returning

22:11

to softness and that that

22:13

is joyful, that is just

22:15

part of the journey and

22:17

something to be accepted and

22:19

played with and it's not

22:21

stressful, it doesn't have to be stressful. And that

22:24

also a hard cock is not a demand or

22:27

an invitation that you don't have to

22:29

do anything specific with it. Releasing

22:32

all of these narratives just gives

22:34

our bodies so much more space

22:36

to be themselves, express ourselves, be

22:39

in our natural rhythms and ebbs

22:41

and flows and from there we

22:44

can have conversations. You

22:46

know, so one of my lovers that uses

22:48

Viagra, like as I show up for

22:50

a date, we have that conversation like, do

22:52

you want me to take dick pills tonight

22:55

or not? What kind of mood are we in? And

22:58

this is a conversation that we

23:00

can have whether or not

23:02

we need to pull out our tools and toys

23:04

and plan for things. What

23:06

are you into right now? How can I

23:09

serve you? Because also

23:11

allowing affectionate touch of the

23:13

penis without an agenda that

23:15

you can just touch a cock and you don't

23:18

have to take it anywhere. It can

23:20

be affectionate, it can be playful, it

23:23

can be encouraging, it can

23:25

be supportive. Just inclusive.

23:28

I think I held a lover while he

23:30

cried and then just like cupped his balls

23:32

and it's just holding a tender sweet part

23:34

of him. And I held

23:36

him in his fear while

23:39

cupping his balls and that was really beautiful.

23:42

Well, you've had a lot of men or some excuse

23:44

me, you've had some of your lovers.

23:47

You've had a few of the men

23:49

that you've been lovers

23:53

with named that they have never had

23:55

their own soft cock held or

23:57

touched by anyone in their lives.

24:00

The Kill I'm saying and on

24:02

the pod category and I this

24:04

is an invitation to shift patterns.

24:06

We have been taught and his

24:08

sister culture here around. Decks I'm

24:11

and were saying this you know

24:13

in in all bodies inclusive way

24:15

I'm trans guy. Decks Also. Need

24:17

to be stroke than held in all states, have to.

24:20

Athens, I'm and many trans women

24:22

you know their clearances and we

24:24

need to remember again. The Hama

24:26

logs of the genitals we all

24:28

have about the same amount of

24:31

are wrecked health issue. We all

24:33

have a glance and we all

24:35

have. Whole. I'm

24:38

an internal spaces and we all have

24:40

about the same amount of nerve endings.

24:42

And these are just distributed

24:44

amongst a spectrum of and

24:47

they do not correlate with

24:49

gender expression. Ah, so we

24:51

can start addressing each body

24:54

of are lovers as their

24:56

specific. Body I'm and so many men

24:58

have been forced into this box of

25:00

if you are aroused, that means a

25:03

hard deck. Which means this thing. Which

25:05

means the thing. And it's exhausting. Frankly,

25:08

It's exhausting and it's for all of

25:10

us. Alone And so

25:12

how do we. Get a little more

25:14

free. We start. Treating

25:16

our bodies with more integrity,

25:19

more dignity, Eliminating

25:21

the shame cycles. That.

25:24

Even casual jokes can trigger.

25:27

And replacing shame behaviors.

25:29

With affirming behaviors that treat

25:31

one another with kindness, dignity,

25:33

respect, integrity if not reverence,

25:36

praise and worship. And

25:39

also yes and also unpacking within

25:41

a relationship. What we make these

25:43

things mean: because I fully for

25:45

the rich partner. It's so important

25:47

that we don't make up a

25:49

story about what a hard copy

25:51

going soft means. It isn't about

25:53

us. It isn't about your attractiveness

25:55

or how much they want you

25:57

or any of those things. It.

26:00

Just to do with what their

26:02

body is doing right now. I

26:04

we hear this all the time

26:06

when female socialized people women especially

26:08

but I also think queer man

26:10

are susceptible to this, were all

26:12

susceptible to those we use our

26:14

partners or rak. San I'm as

26:16

a measure of our own desirability

26:18

and that's not fair to any

26:21

one. Is it correlates

26:23

to things that are not. True.

26:25

Like your desire and your erection or

26:27

not. the same thing. Roofless.

26:30

Take that him again. Your desire in

26:32

your erections? Not the same thing in

26:35

both directions. Yeah, you can have an

26:37

erection and not want sacks. And

26:40

you can be very, very into

26:42

your partner, into the mood, into

26:44

everything and not be hard at

26:46

all. and both of those have

26:48

to be okay. Yeah.

26:51

We just want this whole podcast

26:53

episode be an invitation into being

26:55

more okay with softness and hardness

26:57

and not making it means so

26:59

much and just having it be

27:01

included in your relationship as something

27:03

that is comfortable and neutral and

27:05

that we still just stay focused

27:07

on pleasure and connection and being

27:09

with one another with whatever hands

27:11

and that we just keep playing

27:13

with it and know that it

27:15

might come and go and that's

27:17

completely fine. It doesn't mean a

27:20

whole bunch of. Things about you are

27:22

about them, more about what's happening To

27:24

just stay focused on the pleasure and

27:26

connection. And certainly not about pleasure

27:28

exactly like as a prostate. Mrs.

27:30

Pak in the day. Know how

27:33

many times where you giving man

27:35

what they reported to be the

27:37

best orgasms as their lives and

27:39

their. Dicks were soft. Me:

27:43

A lot of prostate massage

27:46

can trigger all kinds of

27:48

euphoric orgasmic experiences, and it's

27:51

not reliant on a hard

27:53

penis. And. we can

27:55

all discover what our bodies are capable

27:57

of here for a And

28:00

hard dicks are delightful. And there

28:02

are tools for that. And there are strategies

28:06

for encouraging erection

28:08

if that's what you're going for.

28:11

In the oral course, I will share with

28:13

you my

28:16

strategies for coaxing

28:18

soft cocks into

28:21

erectile states. There's

28:24

some really fun ways we can actually

28:26

work with the anatomy to draw out

28:28

erections. And

28:32

we can play with this. And that's the word

28:34

is play. And one of

28:36

my lovers loves nothing more than

28:39

just completely relaxing back, getting totally

28:41

just at ease, and

28:44

then allowing me to play with

28:46

his body and coax out his

28:49

hard on. And this

28:51

can take a long time. This can

28:53

be an hours-long process. But we're both

28:56

having fun. Another

28:58

lover walks in hard. And

29:00

then his dick will ebb

29:03

and flow and get hard and soft 10,

29:06

12 times in this band that we are playing with.

29:09

It's a different ride. And

29:12

the way your genitals express

29:14

themselves in correlation to your

29:16

arousal and desire, that

29:18

is yours to explore and map. And

29:21

we have tools and strategies to help you

29:23

do that. But your body

29:25

is yours to discover and share

29:27

with your lovers. And

29:30

it is inherently beautiful and

29:32

worth lavishing and

29:35

worth love without

29:37

being fixed. Without

29:40

it being a problem. And from

29:43

that place so much as possible. From

29:46

that place so much as possible, including

29:49

radical transformations of our bodies, which I

29:51

am also here for, including using

29:53

tools and toys and

29:58

strategies to go beyond. That

30:00

our bodies think that they're capable

30:02

of rate. I'm one of the

30:04

responses around the soft deck talked

30:06

about. you know, hollow dildo is

30:08

strap on. Talks are not just

30:10

for dykes, so if you want

30:12

a really really big hard dick,

30:14

rate their toys for that. And

30:18

we can have that experience. Of having

30:20

a massive solace we can buy

30:22

them at the store. Now how

30:24

lucky hour weeks you will find

30:26

links to all of this at

30:28

Pleasure mechanics.com/toolbox We just want you

30:30

to feel more at ease and

30:32

playful. With your body as it

30:35

is and in its natural functioning.

30:38

Yeah, and so that intense charge and

30:40

stress to kind of. Be. Dissolved

30:43

to kind of neutralize the.

30:45

Intensity of what moink mean so

30:47

that. It can just be more

30:49

included and they can be more

30:52

room for plane connection. And

30:54

pleasure of anyone practices in your

30:56

masturbation. To re like: if

30:58

you only masturbate while you're

31:00

hard. Try stroking yourself soft.

31:02

Try stroking yourself in different

31:04

kinds of arousal. Try exploring

31:07

why your dick feels like

31:09

when it's soft and you

31:11

touch it anyway. Have you

31:13

ever done not have even

31:15

allowed that for yourself? And

31:18

I'm not talking about just like scratching

31:20

your balls. I'm talking about really touching

31:22

yourself as curiosity in different states of

31:24

erection and see what happens. And

31:27

let's all explore our bodies and

31:29

what they're capable love with a

31:32

little bit more respect and dignity

31:34

for all. We. Can

31:36

do better for all of us. But

31:39

we have to. Draw attention to the patterns

31:41

here that are so detrimental and

31:44

you know every time we shame

31:46

one of us a kind of

31:48

brings us all down on that's

31:50

a known shame slayers. A part

31:52

of it is that we do

31:54

this together and that we don't

31:57

have to slay just our own

31:59

shame. we become a squad

32:02

of shame slayers every time we

32:04

interrupt dick jokes, every time we

32:06

interrupt body shaming and body hierarchies,

32:08

and certain people being made to

32:11

be better than others. The

32:13

more we do that, we create a

32:15

culture where all bodies are honored and

32:17

respected. We all benefit from

32:20

that too. So this

32:22

is a long term project, right? And this

32:24

episode was really intended just to be kind

32:26

of an intervention and an affirmation

32:29

for all of the

32:32

pain that is here for

32:34

people who have dicks and who love dicks.

32:37

If there is a dick in your life, then you

32:39

are impacted by this. And even

32:41

us here as two queer women,

32:45

women loving women, are impacted because there are

32:47

dicks we love in our lives on

32:50

people of all genders, in fact. Um,

32:52

so think about this and reflect on

32:54

it and be in touch with us.

32:57

Come on over to pleasure

33:00

mechanics.com slash pod

33:02

and join us for free to

33:05

watch the shame slayers presentation.

33:07

It's 25 minutes. The

33:09

feedback we have heard from people is that it

33:11

is well worth watching if

33:14

not a life changing 25 minutes

33:16

to spend with us. And

33:19

we would love to have that

33:21

conversation with you. So come on

33:23

over pleasure mechanics.com/pod. You'll

33:26

find the shame slayers presentation and

33:28

other offerings from us to you

33:30

all in the name of generating more pleasure,

33:32

more joy, more connection for all of

33:34

us. I'm Chris. I'm

33:37

Charlotte. We are the pleasure mechanic

33:39

wishing you a lifetime of pleasure.

33:41

Cheers.