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DriveWise. In

0:30

the spirit of reconciliation, we acknowledge

0:33

the traditional custodians of country throughout

0:35

Australia and their connections to land,

0:37

sea and community. We pay our

0:39

respect to their elders past and

0:41

present and extend that respect to

0:44

all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander

0:46

peoples today. Can

0:48

I sit with you? Yes, you can sit

0:50

with me. And we want you to sit

0:52

with us. It's Dom. And Ella. You

0:55

may know us from Finding Love on reality TV and

0:57

by that we mean with each other. Two

0:59

best friends figuring out life. Chatting all

1:02

things reality TV, because I mean how

1:04

could we not? And all things in

1:06

between. Sex, relationships, dating

1:08

and navigating being a female

1:10

in the world. Unfiltered

1:13

and fabulous advice from your two besties. Like,

1:16

chin hairs? Because that's some of the thoughts that I

1:18

get of aging. One day I might not

1:20

feel like two. Wow,

1:24

brain's cooked. It always seems as

1:26

though by the time it's

1:28

like we get to this part of the week

1:30

and our weeks start and end according to

1:32

the podcast. Don't you feel that? Like, the start of the

1:34

week isn't really the start. It feels like the end because

1:36

when we're recording it feels like the end of the week.

1:39

I actually thought it was Monday then. Welcome

1:43

back to another episode of Sit With Us, guys. We didn't

1:45

intro you, but yes, hello, you are there. You are listening.

1:47

We do love you. We

1:50

love you. Make sure you're following us, you know,

1:52

on the Insta at Sit With Us Pod and

1:54

on the Facebook group, Sit With Us the podcast

1:56

because that's where we'd like to talk shit. We

1:58

love having you on the Insta. along. Fellas

2:01

30th birthday, the big three

2:03

zero. Yeah, shit. Like big

2:05

time. You know what's so

2:07

weird and I can't remember

2:09

if we have said this before but

2:12

it's like you really

2:15

do have weird thoughts when you're

2:17

turning 30. What are some of those weird

2:19

thoughts, Dal? Like

2:22

chin hairs? Because that's some of the

2:25

thoughts that I get as of aging.

2:27

No, because my mum gets chin hairs.

2:29

My mum does too. If that is

2:31

what's coming for me, I want out

2:33

of it. Yeah. Like laser me or

2:35

something. Yeah, look chin hairs is not

2:37

my concern. It happens. Death is my

2:39

concern. Like I... Oh

2:42

that old thing. That old thing. You

2:45

know, like I got stuck in this

2:47

fucking like dark rabbit

2:49

hole. The more I was thinking about turning 30

2:51

and then I'm like oh my god I've been here for 30 years on

2:54

earth of my life. I've got more than

2:56

that to go, Dal. I know but I'm

2:59

just like wow it's gone so quickly and

3:01

then like the next the next milestone is

3:03

your 40s. Like that's your next big celebration

3:05

and then it's like wow like

3:07

by the time I'm 40 you know I'll

3:09

probably have kids by then and like you

3:11

know. Which is 10 years and 10 years

3:13

doesn't feel like that long in the grand

3:15

scheme of things but so much in our

3:17

lives is gonna happen. I feel like the

3:20

30s are great. 30s are

3:22

great. Look, your 20s are for

3:24

making mistakes. 20s are for having fun. Oh

3:28

and also heartbreak, mistakes, hangovers, experimenting,

3:30

trying everything in your 20s so

3:32

that you can go into your

3:34

30s knowing what you

3:36

want, who you are and maybe what direction you're

3:38

going. My 30s are great. Like I'm not living

3:41

at home with my parents. I actually have money

3:43

in my bank account and

3:45

I'm you know I look great and

3:47

I feel great. I don't miss my

3:49

20s but it's that

3:52

scary feeling of oh my god

3:54

time is passing and

3:56

you're just getting older and you know

3:59

it's out of your control. And I

4:01

used to get really bad anxiety when I

4:03

was young about death. Like I used to

4:05

lie in bed all night thinking about dying.

4:07

Sorry that this is quite morbid you guys.

4:09

And then I like wouldn't breathe properly. I'd

4:11

be like like

4:15

I would give myself anxiety attacks because I'd

4:17

be thinking about death so much. And

4:19

then I bought out my mum, I think I was maybe like

4:21

17 or something and I was like mum,

4:24

I keep thinking about dying. And she's like you get

4:26

over it because you got to accept the fact that

4:28

it happened. And that is the cycle of life and

4:30

you've just got to accept it and stop stressing

4:32

about it. Do you think for you maybe it's

4:34

a thought because of your dad passing and at

4:37

a young age and there being some you

4:39

know sadness and trauma from that you know

4:41

what I mean? Like even though you know

4:43

unfortunately you didn't know your dad but you

4:46

know the story and you know it affected your mum

4:48

and your brother and your boy family. So

4:50

potentially. Potentially it's just a weird

4:53

thought. I think like knowing

4:55

that the only place

4:58

you go now is older and

5:01

you don't get to go back

5:03

there and the

5:06

only place you're going is like saggier

5:09

skin and like less athletic and

5:12

and that it's a bit of a wig

5:14

out. There's a saying and this always wigs

5:17

me out. Yeah. Today is the oldest you've

5:19

ever been and the youngest you'll ever be.

5:21

Weird. Yeah.

5:23

Today

5:25

is the youngest you'll ever be and it's

5:28

the oldest you've ever been. Isn't

5:30

that a wig out? Yeah. Like whoa!

5:33

It is like it's a weird feeling

5:35

obviously I'm blessed and grateful to even

5:38

have made it to 30 because people

5:40

in life try and get to hashtag

5:42

blessed. Yeah like that's amazing but yeah

5:44

it's it's a weird feeling

5:47

I think. I feel it

5:49

in my fingers. I feel

5:52

it in my toe. I

5:54

feel it in my toe

5:58

and one day I might not. And

6:02

that's when you're gonna be in the

6:04

ground. Anyway, like

6:06

yeah. So it's been a couple of

6:08

few big weeks. I haven't baked my hot cross buns

6:10

yet. That's right. At least you got your ingredients now.

6:12

She's got yeast. I got yeast. So that's the main

6:14

thing, okay guys? I don't know how I feel about

6:16

it. I went home and literally

6:18

ordered her Uber Eats, all the ingredients, and

6:20

the yeast. And I said, look, even if

6:22

you're not gonna make the hot cross buns,

6:25

at least just experiment with the yeast. Put

6:27

a tuck in table spoon, either the yeast.

6:29

Put a cup of warm water and watch

6:31

it grow. I did bake

6:33

another banana bread though. Great. And you're loving

6:35

it? Because Guy likes it. Aw, cute! And

6:38

he likes banana bread. But who doesn't love

6:40

banana bread? I know. The first

6:42

one I made, I just followed

6:44

the instructions, the ingredients. Yeah. And

6:47

it was a lot of sugar. How

6:49

much sugar in there was it? I think like

6:51

170 grams. Babe, that's

6:54

not a lot. Oh. Is

6:56

that? 170 grams. I don't even

6:58

think that's like a cup. No? It's

7:01

like 175 grams. If I

7:03

was to do a recipe of banana bread, I

7:05

would do about one and a half cups of

7:08

self-raising flour. I would do that. I'd do half

7:10

a cup of sugar, caster sugar. And

7:13

I would do probably two eggs, and I would

7:15

do half a cup of oil. This

7:18

is a recipe I've just made up in my head,

7:20

because that's what I do. I just got consistency-wise. I

7:22

don't ever follow a recipe. Well... Because I'm

7:25

fucking a bit chaotic like that. Yeah, but

7:27

you know how to cook this. Me, a

7:29

girl, I wouldn't know where

7:31

to start, okay? Like I got home

7:33

with no flour. Yeah, that, I

7:36

love that. So that actually killed me.

7:38

Made another fucking banana bread. Tried to wing it, you

7:40

know, cool me. Oh, yep, done it once, can do

7:42

it again. So what happened to the banana bread? So

7:44

I didn't put any sugar in it. Oh.

7:47

Because Guy likes it with no sugar. Oh,

7:50

these health and fitness people, I can't deal with

7:52

it. Go and do another ice bath. I know.

7:55

And just go and eat your sugar. So

7:57

I put no fucking sugar in it, okay? way

8:00

too much flour in it. What

8:03

the fuck? It was in the oven and I'm

8:05

like seeing it raise and I'm like babe

8:08

can you check the binar breads okay because I

8:10

feel like I might have done something wrong. I

8:12

think I put too much baking soda in it

8:14

as well and if you put too much of

8:17

that you know it tastes shit. It tasted like

8:20

medicine. It tasted like not salty. It's a

8:22

weed. It did not taste like banana bread.

8:24

So it was inedible, went straight in the

8:26

bin. Well look I think he ate it.

8:31

And I threw in some like mixed nuts. I

8:33

threw in some chucky nib things. I just

8:35

kept throwing shit in. You want to give

8:37

a protein powder in there? Carrot cake. Yeah

8:39

I do want to get better. Carrot cake

8:41

with walnuts. You'll love it. You can even

8:43

do a protein cream cheese frosting

8:46

on there. I could send you through a

8:48

recipe for that. Double. Yeah look I'm not

8:50

very uh creative

8:52

and intuitive in the kitchen. Like I'm just

8:55

not. I don't know. I put a bit

8:57

of vanilla essence in it. That's great. Wow.

8:59

I put vanilla essence in it and I just

9:01

like poured it in

9:03

and just didn't measure it. I

9:05

just like poured it in. I was

9:08

like yeah this is it. You're overdoing it

9:10

with the baking soda back to me. I'm

9:13

mid baking and I'm like babe do you know how

9:15

to test that the banana breads cooked? Like you just

9:17

got to, this is what I read online. You can

9:19

stick a knife in it and if it's so sticky

9:21

then it's not ready. And he's looking at me like

9:23

are you joking me babe? Of course I know how

9:25

to do that. And I'm like oh

9:27

well you know on Google just said to do

9:30

it. Like I don't bake. Or you know another

9:32

way you can do is tap the center and

9:34

if it springs back to you it's ready. And

9:36

if it doesn't come back up it's not ready.

9:39

Yeah there's another little tip for you. Okay.

9:42

Another little baking tip from Dom.

9:44

Baking tip. Dom's double D tips.

9:47

Well look I do want to get better

9:49

at it. You will babe. I actually thoroughly

9:52

have enjoyed it. I also put some of

9:54

the sultanas in it. See and it's great.

9:56

Like you can be creative

9:58

and it's It's yummy as

10:00

well. It just tasted like fucking paint on

10:02

medicine or something because there was no sugar.

10:05

It's no good especially when you don't balance

10:07

out the like if you're doing plain

10:09

flour and you're putting your baking powder and you're baking

10:11

soda and there's no sugar it's it's not going to

10:13

be good for you and especially if you overdo it

10:15

with the baking soda and baking powder. And it was

10:17

very dry. It has a very hard taste. When I

10:19

was like mixing it all up together. Did you get

10:21

any oil or any fats in there? No. I

10:24

didn't. Oh well that's why though. I'm

10:26

like mixing it and it's all so dry so I just cracked

10:28

another egg. I just added egg to it.

10:30

Okay well you got your fat from the egg. And then it softened up

10:32

a bit but then it looked a bit too watery so that's why I

10:34

added more flour and. You'd rather it

10:37

be more watery. How watery was

10:39

it? Well I don't know it just

10:41

it was too. Gluggy. Yeah and then that's

10:43

why I put more flour in it and

10:45

then I'm like fuck this I'm out of

10:47

here just chuck it in the oven. I

10:49

hope you guys are really enjoying our baking

10:51

updates and look I hope you guys are

10:53

baking too and if anything I really hope

10:55

that we've encouraged you or inspired you actually

10:58

to get in the kitchen start baking get

11:00

your fucking pots and pans out mash some

11:02

bananas crack a few eggs. It's actually very

11:04

therapeutic. Yeah it is. I

11:06

think I need to get more into it. And

11:08

you baked? Yeah I baked. I baked a

11:10

lot of Croatian and Italian cakes which my

11:12

family loved and unfortunately we

11:15

lost my great auntie and my

11:17

auntie was the one that always baked

11:19

the Croatian cake because she's from the

11:21

Croatian side of my family and she'd

11:24

always inspired me with her baking

11:26

and just the things that she would do

11:28

in the kitchen and I set

11:30

aside one day on the Thursday I was like

11:32

this is my baking day and I made an

11:35

odenyasha which I don't know hopefully we've got some

11:37

Croatian listeners here and I

11:39

made an onyasha and I made some of

11:42

the plum jam biscuits that she was famous for

11:45

and when I got to the Good Friday lunch

11:48

my uncle couldn't believe it like all my cousins were like

11:50

oh my god this is taking me back to my childhood

11:52

and it was just so nice and even my Nonna was

11:54

just so impressed and it was really nice and it's like

11:56

I just have that inner thing where I like feeding people

11:58

but it was just so nice. But more

12:01

than that, I think it's just like, food

12:03

brings memories as well. But also

12:05

food brings people together. It does.

12:08

And that's why I love about it. Yeah,

12:10

like who doesn't love to just sit around

12:12

eating yummy food and expressing how delicious it

12:14

is? We caught up with Jack Courtney and

12:17

Baby Penelope. Aww. Ella severely over-ordered. She ordered

12:19

about fuck of four pizzas to the table

12:21

when we'd had entrees. It was ridiculous. So

12:23

I got two pizzas in my fridge back

12:25

home. I just don't want anyone to not

12:27

be hungry, you know? Which is great. She's

12:31

a wog at heart. Yes. So we love

12:33

that. But we caught up with Jack and Courtney, which was

12:35

so lovely. They're just killing it

12:37

being parents. They honestly

12:39

are just really taking it

12:41

with their stride. Yeah.

12:43

Like going with the flow, not going against

12:45

it. Not like, you know,

12:47

and I just, I think it's so

12:50

refreshing to see two people so in

12:52

love. And they're young. Oh my

12:54

God, they're so. They're young. Like

12:56

they're young parents to do, and they're just doing

12:58

it. They're just doing it. And when I posted

13:00

that we were catching up on Instagram, people were

13:03

just so happy, like saying like, oh my God,

13:05

you guys are all still friends. And like you

13:07

and Jack are cool. And I'm like, yeah. I

13:09

mean, of course. Of course we are. I mean,

13:12

yeah, we didn't work out, but we have so much

13:15

love and respect for each other. And I just love

13:17

him and Courtney together so much. And

13:19

I love little Penelope. Like we're aunties now.

13:21

We love her. We're going to protect her.

13:23

And that's it. Yeah, I know.

13:27

And it makes me so happy. It's so

13:29

nice that we can still be friends with Jack. I

13:31

mean, I know. Yeah. Because they

13:33

really do take us back to those days.

13:35

Exactly. But we are so happy for

13:38

Jack and Courtney. Yeah, it's going to be a massive

13:40

week. But we've come to that time of the episode

13:42

where we talk about what's trending. Gee,

13:44

you're trending like crazy. That

13:47

is so attached. Hmm,

13:50

what's trending? Ooh. Emma,

13:53

what is trending for you this week? Dun,

13:55

dun, dun. I don't even know if this

13:57

is like a trending thing. I mean, I

13:59

guess. Yeah, it's a big part of your life. Yeah,

14:01

so The past

14:04

sort of like four days. I

14:06

guess I've been really deep in

14:08

researching coming off the

14:10

pill coming off the

14:12

hormonal Contraception that I

14:14

have been on for 15 years Like

14:18

wow, this is huge like this

14:20

is huge shit. I've never had a break. I've been

14:22

on the pill since I was 15 It's

14:26

so hectic. Yeah, like I'm actually

14:29

scared I'm actually

14:31

quite nervous. I'm a bit of a control freak

14:34

I love being in control of and knowing where

14:36

my period is coming and my fake

14:38

period and just like being a big period

14:40

I love it. So I am

14:43

really nervous and it's gonna be

14:45

happening I mean as soon as the party

14:48

as soon as the birthday's over as soon as I've turned basically

14:50

30 I'm going to be I

14:52

guess I just stopped taking it one day Which

14:55

is just gonna be so weird Cuz

14:57

like if it's just it's gonna be very freeing for

14:59

you And I know like Courtney was saying that last

15:01

night. Yeah, like, you know, you're gonna just feel Free

15:05

you're gonna feel clear and all

15:07

of these things and I really truly believe that

15:09

because I know even for myself Not

15:12

even being on the pill but on

15:14

you know antidepressants. Yeah lower it going

15:16

off the antidepressants even that 50 milligrams

15:19

I feel a shift in myself and I do

15:21

feel like I've got more control back And

15:24

you know, even though these medications that we take on the

15:26

daily basis that we need and you know for our lives

15:28

and whatever You know at the

15:30

end of the day, I know it's still a

15:33

different chemical in your body Yeah,

15:35

and I've never used like a period

15:38

app before I've never tracked my period

15:40

Obviously, I've never had to last gonna

15:42

change So I've downloaded the app below

15:44

because that was like the first one

15:47

that kept coming up and I've got

15:49

flow Right, so I've been like

15:51

logging my stuff there, but at the same

15:54

time I'm like wait, this is all fake

15:57

So why am I logging in but it's so

15:59

good though to eat even know what you were

16:01

like. Yeah. Right? So then you've got something to

16:03

compare it to. Because when

16:05

you take, say, for instance, a

16:07

journal or something to the doctor and be like, OK, these

16:09

are the symptoms I've had. This is all of that. It's

16:12

really important to be able to compare

16:14

to something else. And

16:17

on the flow app, because I've had it now for

16:19

maybe about four or five cycles since my

16:22

IUD has been removed,

16:24

each period you get, it gets

16:27

smarter and smarter with your

16:29

cycle, which is amazing.

16:31

Because what I do, especially leading

16:33

up to my period and after my period,

16:36

the more symptoms I have, the more I

16:38

log. And I feel like each period I'm

16:40

learning better about what my symptoms are and

16:42

when I'm going to ovulate, what I'm going

16:44

to feel when I ovulate, and all of

16:46

these things. It's really,

16:48

really interesting. And I feel like,

16:50

keep logging, keep logging until

16:52

you go off the pill. And then when you

16:54

are actually off it, log the fuck out of

16:56

every day of what you're feeling, what your symptoms

16:59

are. How are your bowel movements? What

17:01

are your emotions today? How is your skin? How is

17:03

your stamina? All

17:06

of these things, because it all makes sense in the

17:08

grand scheme of things. So yeah. Well,

17:10

I'm into the app. It's

17:12

actually quite fun. I actually

17:14

quite enjoy logging the daily chickens

17:17

and stuff like that. So we'll

17:19

see. You guys will know about it when I

17:21

have come off it. But I think I'm going to have to wait until,

17:24

because I think I read somewhere that

17:27

you shouldn't come off the pill until

17:29

you're actually due for a period.

17:32

Interesting. Yeah. So stop taking it when

17:35

you've got the

17:37

sugar pill. Yeah. At that point. Because I've

17:39

just had my fake period about a week

17:41

ago. So I think I need

17:43

to wait a few more weeks, and

17:45

then I will stop taking it. Yeah.

17:47

Interesting. Yeah. Just so that doesn't get

17:50

a bit confuzzled. Because if I just had my period, then I

17:52

stop taking it next week, and then my period comes again. It

17:54

might just be like, ah. Yeah. Yeah. That's

17:56

so true. Yeah. So I will wait a few more

17:58

weeks, but you guys will know. about it and

18:00

babe what's trending for you? Oh look what's

18:02

trending for me? I feel

18:04

as though I've been kind of

18:07

like a bit mia

18:09

in the like grand life

18:12

scheme of things. Okay. Things I've got

18:14

like a lot going on. Yeah. But

18:16

I'm really enjoying my baking and I'm

18:18

really loving that and you've inspired me

18:20

so that's great. Oh that makes me

18:23

happy. I'm really enjoying being

18:25

creative in the kitchen and I know

18:27

I'm not freaking Gordon Ramsay. I'm

18:29

not the world's best chef. Well you are to me. For

18:32

me it is this like thing that brings

18:34

me together like on the weekend when I

18:36

was at my parents' Easter. I cooked

18:39

the whole family and I made like an amazing meal

18:41

and just like seeing like

18:43

how happy it made like my mom and

18:45

my dad and my brother like all sitting

18:47

there and having a meal together. It made

18:49

me like really emotional. Yeah. I don't know

18:51

why that makes me quite like it's just really

18:53

nice. Yeah it is nice though. You know?

18:55

Yeah like I remember when my mom is

18:58

the queen in the kitchen and she used to always put

19:00

together every meal of the night and I

19:02

mean I can't even I can't do that if I

19:04

try it. I know how to make a salad that's

19:06

about it. I know it's very special. I just think

19:09

in the grand scheme of things and life right? Those

19:11

are the moments that I'm actually going to remember. It's

19:13

not like the big you know

19:15

crazy like events and shit. Yeah. It's the moments

19:17

where you know everyone's together and yeah

19:19

you know we've had a busy day doing fencing on

19:21

the farm and we're all coming together and we're having

19:24

a glass of wine and we're just sitting there and

19:26

they're the moments that I'm going to carry. It's the

19:28

simple things in life. And it really is. It's the

19:30

simple things in life man. That's the shit that counts.

19:32

That's the stuff that we pass down to our kids

19:35

and we say to them. Exactly what we used to

19:37

do. Like the things that actually

19:39

mean the most. And the older I'm getting the

19:41

more I realize that too. You know like my

19:43

parents are getting older. My nonna's getting older. Like

19:45

my nonna's 80 this year and she's

19:47

going back to Italy for the first time since

19:50

she was 12 years old. Wow. Like this is

19:52

wild to me guys. Like and I'm so excited

19:54

for her. Like I just can't wait for her

19:56

to see that you know where

19:59

she was born in Italy. and to go back and see

20:01

all her family and friends that are still there.

20:03

And it's going to be so emotional. Yeah, it

20:05

will be. You know, that's what

20:07

life's about. That's what like, really, it's,

20:10

yeah. So I guess for me,

20:12

it's like the little things. That's

20:14

what's trending for me. It's the little things that's not the

20:17

big grand gestures of

20:19

whatever in life. It always comes down

20:21

to the little things. And I guess

20:23

I'm really appreciative of that now more

20:26

than ever. I think as my life gets

20:28

more fast paced and busier and crazier and

20:30

hectic and there's more people in my life,

20:33

the more I crave for like the

20:35

really simple, calm shit. The

20:37

real shit. You know? The real, real

20:39

stuff. So that's a really nice what's

20:41

trending actually. Yeah, that got me in

20:43

the feels. That got me in the

20:45

feels. In the feels. The thing.

20:48

Oh. Oh. Oh.

20:50

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

20:54

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

20:57

Oh. Oh. We're onto our

21:00

main topic now. Yeah. And

21:02

I've really. It's a really interesting

21:04

topic guys. We are talking about

21:07

the pick me girl. Who is

21:09

she? Where did

21:11

this come from? How did it start?

21:14

And also the more I've researched into what

21:16

the pick me girl is, I feel

21:18

as though. And I can't wait to

21:20

hear your guys' opinions. Is

21:22

this just another way of tearing

21:25

women down? Okay. First

21:28

and foremost, let's read what the

21:30

definition. Urban dictionary, of course. Of

21:32

what a pick me girl is. Because I mean, if

21:34

I'm gonna ask my mum what a pick me girl

21:36

is, do you think she's gonna know? If I'm gonna

21:38

ask my mum, no, no, pick me girl. I mean,

21:40

look at first I was like, what's a pick me

21:43

girl? I didn't even really know. I've heard this term

21:45

thrown around all the time. I've never heard

21:47

it before. I feel like now that

21:49

you're aware of it, you'll hear it. Probably. So

21:53

a pick me girl is

21:55

a girl who seeks male

21:57

validation by indirectly or directly

21:59

insinuating. that she is not like the other

22:01

girls. See

22:03

what I mean here by saying like, is this just

22:05

another way of putting women down? Someone

22:08

who sets themselves apart

22:10

from and trivialises classically

22:12

female hobbies or behaviours

22:14

as frivolous or vapid.

22:16

Like, yeah, I don't need to

22:19

go to the nail salon every week or like, I

22:21

don't need, like, it doesn't take

22:23

me an hour to get ready. Like, is

22:25

that a pick me girl? I'm

22:27

assuming that's the vibe I'm getting.

22:30

For instance, they might say to guys

22:32

that other girls are too

22:34

much drama. So I'm getting

22:37

that vibe, right? So it's like, oh

22:39

God, yeah, she's a lot. Like high

22:41

maintenance. Yeah, you know, she's high maintenance,

22:43

but I'm not. Okay. So it's pretty

22:45

much comparing, it's pitting women against women.

22:47

And I fucking hate that. And I

22:49

don't know why, right? Why is this

22:51

even a thing? Typically, a pick

22:53

me girl talks about how

22:55

she's not like other women, especially

22:58

in ways considered typically feminine.

23:02

Which is, you know, it's very, for

23:06

example, a pick me girl may

23:08

point out how she doesn't wear

23:10

makeup or prefers sports to fashion.

23:12

So there we have it. Okay. So it

23:15

is, so it's like, oh my God, like

23:17

a girl that takes an hour to get

23:19

ready, oh please, like, you know, it's that

23:21

kind of thing. So that's a

23:23

pick me girl. See, when I, when

23:25

we spoke about this pick me girl

23:27

whole thing, I thought it

23:29

was along the lines of a girl that

23:31

just always needs to be chosen by

23:33

a man. Well,

23:36

that's what I assumed it was too, but

23:38

I feel, well, now that we're reading into

23:40

these, it feels as though there are so

23:42

much more attached. Well, yeah, it's like, it's

23:44

not just that a female needs attention from

23:47

a male or anything. It's like, yeah,

23:49

cause like she's comparing herself

23:52

to other female things. She's

23:54

better. And I just,

23:56

that rubs me the wrong way.

23:59

Where did the term pick me girl come from?

24:01

He bloody knows. Well, I'll tell you, babe. Yeah.

24:04

It appears on Twitter, which, you know, Twitter was

24:06

Twitter back then. Not X. Why

24:08

is it on Twitter in my fucking eye? Yeah.

24:11

In eyes. Anyway, in

24:13

2016 with the hashtag hashtag

24:15

tweet, like a pick me

24:18

with people mocking girls who

24:20

called themselves wifey

24:22

material, drawing

24:24

attention to their traditionally feminine

24:27

virtues and habits. Right.

24:31

Once again, making women feel

24:33

all over the world, like

24:35

they're just not good enough. And no matter what

24:37

they do, they're never going to be good enough.

24:40

It's like if a woman wants to be

24:42

ultra feminine and you

24:44

know, just completely

24:47

ooze, you know, femininity and

24:49

be that housewife, like

24:52

that's a bad thing. But is it

24:54

like doing the hashtag and saying, you

24:56

know, calling themselves wifey

24:58

material, like we

25:01

can all be wifey material in our

25:03

own right. Like, is there a right

25:05

in quotation marks, right? What wifey material?

25:08

Well, that's a whole other conversation, babe,

25:10

but what it's turned into, right? The

25:13

term has actually evolved to mean

25:15

the complete opposite now. So

25:18

common traits of what a pick me girl is,

25:20

is someone that constantly seeks

25:23

validation from others, especially men, putting

25:25

down other women, desperation

25:27

for a relationship or just male

25:29

attention in general and

25:32

dismissing other women's experiences

25:34

and opinions. See,

25:37

to me, that's the complete opposite of what I

25:39

thought a pick me girl was and what a

25:41

complete opposite of what it was in 2016. So

25:44

in my eyes, it's really changed. It's

25:46

so changed. Like a pick

25:48

me girl now is, is someone

25:50

is what you're called if you put down

25:52

other women or you Dismiss,

25:54

dismiss other women's experiences and opinions.

25:57

I Mean, that's happening on the

25:59

daily. everywhere all around. The world.

26:01

I just. I don't see that as

26:03

he should be putting a label on

26:05

that. I just see that is. A

26:08

someone's gonna be. A piece. Of

26:10

shit and. Like.

26:13

Talk shit about another woman. Then. I'm

26:15

Sir Ivan the to talk as well. That was got here. I

26:17

want to watch the tick tock. Hi a

26:20

sunny, sunny kill Us filler

26:22

right? Right? Okay, I

26:24

ate, I bought So Greedy

26:26

The San Yeah, there's this

26:28

feeling so C and it's

26:30

a Caterpillar almost here. and

26:32

Us Obama right? You're

26:34

not only guy had wow that must

26:36

be a lot of upkeep. Yes, that

26:38

would just take way too long. I

26:41

read of i was you. I'd be

26:43

rock in the brunette at this point.

26:45

I'm so low maintenance. I need you

26:47

to teach me how to do such

26:49

have a mega. Never

26:51

done it before. I wish were

26:53

clear mascara. Yeah,

26:55

I really don't wear and law.

26:57

Okay so it's like com to

27:00

the backhanded compliment die later I'm

27:02

and know that's the natural it's

27:04

oil on my skin. Yeah.

27:06

Oh my gosh, I there I

27:08

served. Funny isn't it? Because now

27:10

it's like. I. Feel

27:12

like I can remember Utter nerve.

27:15

Certain paypal the I remember. Maybe.

27:17

Having these experiences, With.

27:19

Women I met who will give you a

27:21

compliment but it's followed by. Something.

27:24

That makes you kind of all. Near.

27:27

Okay, it's It's not really a

27:29

compliment at all. Yeah, it's someone

27:32

trying to be judgmental. Bought a

27:34

new much of a coward to

27:36

just yeah your face so they.

27:40

Give you a little. Rock

27:43

ark in in my inside. The in the

27:45

face that's the kind of like all you've got rid. As

27:47

I feel like people have said oh ya leads to so

27:49

nice and not true. But. then i'm like

27:52

all but it's villa and they're like

27:54

ah i see a good amount of

27:56

it's exactly what they want you to

27:58

say not really okay Yeah,

28:00

so then they have that win. Oh,

28:02

yeah. See yeah, got fake fucking feeling

28:04

in her lips. Yeah, obviously Dump

28:07

it like can't you see that? Yeah, like I'm

28:09

sorry And it's like if a female is going

28:12

to say such a bitchy comment. You're a bitch

28:14

Yeah, like that's not we're not gonna be

28:17

friends. And if anything females themselves can take

28:19

back that yeah, and use it because I'm

28:21

sorry The thing is and I've said

28:23

it before on the podcast as well. I Feel

28:26

like women are so mean to

28:28

women these days. Oh man not we've

28:30

and I know you know some people might say

28:32

but yeah, like, you know, you've made a

28:34

career out of like Commenting

28:37

and commentating. Yeah on

28:40

on things that are pop culture on things

28:42

that are on TV on things that are

28:44

mainstream media I'm not going

28:46

around talking about Joe Blow and his girlfriend that I

28:49

know from ten years ago and talking shit about

28:51

them Yeah, you know what? I mean? Yeah, very different

28:53

and this is where the problem with the pick me

28:55

trend has gone The meaning

28:57

of pick me behavior is becoming skewed on

28:59

social media. Yeah, okay Yeah, so it started

29:02

off as an innocent and funny trend It

29:04

primarily was used as another

29:06

sick to beat women with okay Yeah, which

29:09

it's not funny like that It's just another way of

29:11

tearing women down which is what we've said The

29:14

term thrown at anyone who shows an

29:16

interest in male-dominated hobbies or dares to

29:18

call themselves weird While

29:20

some of you the pick me girl term

29:23

Trend to legitimately call out sexist behavior displayed

29:25

by other women others have simply used it

29:27

to escalate said sexism and harass women on

29:30

the app It's

29:32

become the insult of all insults and

29:34

I know for one and I've seen

29:36

it happen other

29:38

women in the media calling

29:40

other women Pick me

29:42

girls and I never really understood it because I never I

29:45

can say to like Google what a

29:47

big big girl was close just like okay Well, if she's

29:49

just if she's caught if she's calling her

29:52

a term then I mean, it's not gonna

29:54

be that friendly is it? Yeah So

29:57

Have you seen the movie? She's a Man. Yeah, the Man Designs.

29:59

Love That movie. Yeah, forgot Sydney want

30:01

you Amanda Bynes played in Sees

30:03

The man displayed an aversion to

30:05

lip gloss and sundresses and got

30:08

they are get along better with

30:10

guys Energy services. Pick me goals

30:12

in the media for these are

30:14

just examples guys yet so it's

30:16

like you know, Her character

30:18

in Sees A Man loves to soccer. She

30:20

wanted to be one of the guys. Okay,

30:23

fair enough. Mercer from the I see saying

30:25

yeah, Well I'm not like the other go.

30:28

And. Campaign came Kendall Jenner

30:31

famously tweeted girls are

30:33

really really desperate and

30:35

sad sometimes. I

30:40

mean, and so I'm in. Mark. We're

30:42

just said like people. Ah,

30:45

Cause people are fucking really desperate and

30:47

sad. Some to yeah. Okay,

30:50

Ah, there was an article in

30:52

Elle Magazine and The Rider. As

30:54

casino claimed, it's possible that the

30:57

pygmy goat haven't thought about how

30:59

they behave yes and attitude contribute

31:02

to sexism, misogyny, and ultimately the

31:04

continuous subjugation of women. Whether it's

31:06

due to the blink is padded

31:09

by years of on broader misogyny

31:11

or the need to feed into

31:13

societies notions of what is acceptable

31:16

these goals often don't see it

31:18

as problematic on. I think there

31:20

in lies he shoots people are

31:23

so fucking blonde to their own

31:25

season, am whatever they are projecting,

31:27

whatever they are saying, people aren't

31:30

seeing their own shit in their

31:32

own issues for what they are

31:34

and I think they're in in

31:37

itself lies the issue. You know

31:39

once I am I do ah

31:41

it's actually really we When you.

31:45

Paint. The be Pixar and you know

31:47

there's like celebrities and. Just.

31:50

A. really like makes me think about all

31:52

these scenarios that i've seen on salaries and

31:54

movie yes and get our like day to

31:56

day life and you'll and now ah right

31:59

you'll see it so much

32:01

more. Yeah. And like, if

32:03

you ask most men, you know, they

32:05

prefer a female with not a full

32:07

fucking beat face. Yeah. They prefer to

32:09

kiss a female that didn't have, you

32:12

know, whatever stuff. But it's

32:14

women taking that notion and then

32:16

saying, yeah, I'm all natural. Yeah.

32:18

Guys like me better because I'm

32:20

like all natural. Yeah. It's like,

32:23

but if you like wearing makeup

32:25

because it makes you feel good. Yeah.

32:28

Then why the hell

32:31

are we pitting women against women because like

32:33

who cares? That's the thing. Yeah. At the

32:35

end of the day, a guy

32:37

is lucky if he's getting in bed with

32:39

you, darling. Yeah. That guy is lucky if

32:41

he make up or no makeup. Exactly. Yeah.

32:44

You know, it doesn't need to be made about that.

32:46

That's just something that is wild to me. And I

32:48

know you guys are going to have a lot to

32:50

say about this topic. And I cannot wait to discuss

32:52

this on the Facebook

32:55

group, which is sit with us, the podcast. You've got

32:57

to come and join. Join

32:59

in where all the fun is. Even if

33:01

you've got like friends, because I feel like,

33:03

oh, we know I'm even thinking of friends,

33:06

people that I know who I'm friends with

33:08

who are like this. Yeah.

33:11

So share some stories in a

33:13

Facebook group or on the Instagram,

33:16

share some stories. If you have

33:19

very interesting ones. We'd

33:21

love, we'd actually love to hear from

33:23

you guys. Send us a voice message,

33:25

an email, a DM, whatever

33:27

it may be, because I even feel like

33:29

in next week's episode, if we get some

33:32

really fucked up good stories, we have to

33:34

read them out. Anonymous clip. Well,

33:36

exactly. Like your friends can be

33:38

shit. Your friends can be mean.

33:40

Amen, sis. Yeah. So yeah, definitely share it

33:43

with us. Share it with us

33:45

guys. Hit us up on the Instagram. It's at

33:47

sit with us pod and keep

33:49

an eye on our insta stories actually for

33:51

next week's topic because we'll probably be needing

33:53

your help next week. But

33:55

for now, we're going to love you and leave you.

33:58

Have an amazing day. Thank you so much. much

34:00

for listening guys and we will see

34:02

you next week. Love yous!