0:00

Hello, you're listening to Shag Mountain Ode with

0:02

me Rosie Ramsey and my husband Christopher Ramsey.

0:05

Hiya, I'm the husband and I'm here. But

0:07

I'm also my own man, so don't label

0:10

me. That's what you think. Don't just label me as

0:12

her husband. I know she's done a comradery for

0:14

that, but I'm also retired

0:16

stand-up comedian Chris Ramsey. You're

0:18

not retired yet. It's lovely to have you

0:21

all back. Hope you're all keeping well. Hope

0:23

life is serving you good and positive plans.

0:25

I feel quite good today considering. You

0:28

just feel good and positive because there's Easter eggs in the

0:30

house. And then I see, oh God. That's

0:32

what's happening. I love Easter eggs. I

0:34

watched a video today though, which I found

0:36

really upsetting. It was on Instagram, which

0:38

is one of them daffed scrawly ones. Somebody

0:40

was rating Easter eggs out of 10. A

0:44

lot of the Easter eggs that they had had

0:46

bits in and I'm not living that life. I

0:48

don't understand what you mean by bits. So

0:50

loads of companies of Easter eggs have

0:53

brought out Easter eggs of that thing. So

0:55

KitKat have an Easter egg where it's like

0:58

an Easter egg with loads of bits of wafer in. Mini

1:01

eggs have them with... It's like an egg KitKat.

1:03

Yeah, but like... Oh. Oh no.

1:06

No, no. I'd like to try that. Oh you

1:08

see. Oh no.

1:10

I like a bit of texture. No, this is great. They

1:13

were all textured. They were all textured. I was

1:15

like, what happened to good old, good old fashioned

1:17

Easter eggs? Look at that. None of that shite

1:19

in it. Don't be mixing it all up. Oh,

1:21

here it is. You're going to march. You're going to

1:24

march about having the bits. Maybe I might. So

1:26

I do find a full Easter egg.

1:29

I find it... I can't eat it. I

1:31

mean you could... We all know you could take half

1:33

an Easter egg, fill it with melted chocolate, drink it

1:35

and then eat the Easter egg. Yeah.

1:38

Even like a full chocolate bar, I need texture.

1:42

I need... You need a bit of something,

1:44

do you? So come on, tell me which ones now

1:46

have bits in. Here's

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Unlimited slows. Can't I have got bit?

2:52

Most of them. Really? Yeah. But

2:55

is there still an option and not have the bits? Well,

2:59

because that's why you've got some problems here. I really, really

3:01

hope so. I don't know, because we've got more teas on

3:03

ones downstairs and there's no bits on the egg. They

3:05

don't have bits in. Right, so they go. That's one

3:07

I would actually quite like. Oh, I knew. Oh,

3:09

impossible. What is this? God! F***ing

3:12

Goldilocks. They had a Ferrero Rocher one. Oh, that's obviously

3:14

gonna have bits in there. Yeah. It's just chocolate,

3:17

isn't it? They had the really, can't get away with

3:19

the really posh Easter eggs. No. No,

3:21

no, no, no. Honestly, if it's all by three quid, I

3:23

don't really want it. Yeah. Don't really

3:25

want it. I mean, I don't like over the

3:28

top posh chocolate anyway. I never have. Like,

3:30

you know, when you go to these little cave shops

3:32

and stuff. When you go to a cave, you

3:34

walk past a cave shop. Sometimes they're in London or in little cities or

3:36

little villages. And when all

3:38

the caves are shiny, they're all like, there's

3:40

a lot of, there's a little flower on it. There's a lot

3:43

of shit going on. There's a lot of decoration. I'm like,

3:45

oh, nah. I want a Vicky sponge that looks like someone's f***ing

3:47

sat on it. I want a

3:49

ginger cake, like proper ginger

3:51

squared pinned cake. Right, yeah. No,

3:54

again. I'm so upset as there, no. But I

3:56

like, like, genuinely like, like, me and

3:59

Robin go to a. the trampoline park and the

4:01

trampoline park does cakes and the cakes

4:03

are unbelievable jump 360 in new castle

4:05

and they do a vicky sponge and

4:07

they do a red velvet you

4:11

don't need to abbreviate victoria sponge

4:13

listen time is money time is money you're wasting so

4:15

much time the vicky sponge is a vetness a vicky

4:17

pea? a visp a

4:20

visp a good visp that looks like it's been

4:22

sat on loads of cream right

4:24

bit of jam hello what? dust

4:26

and a sugar on top? yes is

4:28

it even? yeah but none of this glazed

4:33

we've always said this who's

4:36

eating the tarts with

4:38

the plastic fruit on? who's

4:41

eating them? who is getting that? like

4:45

I mean listen actually could I be a bit of a

4:47

dick because I've never really tried one oh apparently

4:49

if I put one out now you'd scoff

4:51

at like actually you know what

4:54

I'm saying that the older I'm getting the more

4:56

I like shit cakes

4:58

what do you mean shit cakes? so the older I'm getting oh

5:01

you name shit cakes? shit cakes, wouldn't

5:03

have one then so if

5:05

someone now that I'm like 30 nearly 38

5:08

okay um

5:10

if somebody said after the dinner

5:12

oh there's a lemon tart ten

5:15

years ago I'd have gone you fucking

5:17

what? a lemon tart? absolutely

5:19

not where's the chocolate fudge cake? where's

5:22

the arctic roll right? proper old school

5:24

arctic roll nowadays if somebody said there's

5:26

a lemon tart I'd go oh yeah

5:28

I could fancy that yeah so I just

5:30

think no no no if someone says to me there's a

5:32

lemon tart I'd say two reasons I'm gonna get this lemon

5:34

tart either I'm gonna dispose of it and do everyone a

5:36

favour or I'm gonna get it and I'm gonna smash it

5:38

in your face for me and a lemon tart no I

5:40

would probably do now get to the shop now and get

5:43

me your twix I love a lemon drizzle

5:45

oh my god a lemon drizzle cake get

5:47

your lemon out of me cakes no lemon

5:49

is there for being a cake now I

5:52

will I will allow strawberry as long as

5:54

it's not an actual bit of a strawberry

5:56

I will allow strawberry jam I will allow

5:58

strawberry flavouring all of that fruit and veg couldn't

6:00

get out of my cake. Do you like a banana cake?

6:02

God I love it. Oh God a banana loaf.

6:05

I've already had one. Me nana makes banana loaf.

6:07

Have I had one? I might have had one. I

6:09

don't know. I feel triggered when I hear banana loaf

6:11

because every dickhead made it in the lockdown, didn't it?

6:13

Oh yeah. Couldn't get fucking flour or bananas for loving

6:15

a money nightmare. True.

6:17

What? Sorry, I was gonna say

6:20

back to Easter eggs. Easter eggs and advent calendars.

6:22

Keep them cheap. Keep them cheap.

6:24

Keep them cheap. Not too cheap though. Well

6:26

done. Because then you're spilling into, you're spilling into cheap

6:28

chocolate land, which. Right, okay. Oh God there's so

6:31

many fruits. This is a fucking nightmare. You're

6:33

spilling into the land of when we were

6:35

younger and my parents didn't have that much

6:38

money but my mom would do like cooking

6:40

with her and you'd be like, oh we'll

6:42

make the cake and she should have bought

6:44

these shit of chocolate. Oh bless her. And

6:46

you go, oh. Things

6:48

I know your mom, your mom would have bought the

6:50

nice chocolate and the shit chocolate, ate the nice chocolate

6:52

for herself in the middle of the night and

6:56

then made the shit chocolate cake yet the next day. Yeah. I

6:59

had a dairy meal but I woke up three in the morning and

7:01

came downstairs and ate it. It's got

7:03

problems then. I. Just

7:06

like me, so hungry. Hilarious.

7:08

Guys, thank you so much for being here. Thank you

7:10

for joining us. Thank you for sticking with this. Glorals

7:12

server as long as you have a welcome if you're

7:14

brand new. And obviously again, I don't know the ins

7:17

and outs of it but please subscribe or

7:19

follow or whatever the fucking hellgams are on your

7:21

podcast apps. Because it would help massively, apparently. Again,

7:23

don't know why, but it's just one click. So

7:25

why not doing it? We're doing all this for

7:28

you for free, eh? Thought I'd use this. Honestly,

7:30

I tell you what, yeah. Ungrateful bunch of fuck.

7:32

Sorry. So, what are you doing

7:34

stretching? No, my arms hurt. Rafe

7:37

loves to carry that cake. You love to carry

7:39

these, too. Like a flippin' monkey. Yeah. I

7:41

carried them for most of the day yesterday

7:43

and today I'm a bit sore. Okay.

7:45

Yeah, he's not. You're gonna put the

7:47

soldier on, eh? I'm okay. Okay. Sorry.

7:50

Brave little shit cake. Listen. Do

7:52

you, do you, yeah, podcast. Podcast? Podcast,

7:54

podcast, podcast. No, no, no, no, I'm not doing it. I'm

7:57

doing funny voices anymore. People enjoyed it. No, I'm not having it.

8:00

at least three comments if you like them three? oh

8:02

god! oh that was the stupid voice then!

8:05

listen, it is episode 262, thank you so so much and

8:09

without further ado, it's time for this week's illucative oh look at

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the sponsor, this week's sponsor is something that's been happening to me

8:13

a lot in my life recently I don't know if it's been

8:15

happening to everyone else with kids but it really fucking pisses us

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off when it happens and I love my kids dearly, I love

8:20

them so much but this week's sponsor

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is Kids Getting Annoyed

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About Coffee ooh,

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Dad, oh Dad you smell of coffee

8:28

oh, turn the coffee machine off I

8:30

can't hear the telly, you're the fucking

8:32

reason I have to drink this shit

8:35

you? and you alone? it's not shit,

8:37

I wake up in the morning dreaming about

8:40

coffee, we went to bed it's called addiction,

8:42

you addicted to coffee I know, we went to

8:44

bed the other night and I said to you, I was like, oh yeah,

8:46

excited about your coffee I already think about my coffee

8:48

I already think about my coffee in the morning, but

8:50

it's their fault that's my point uh,

8:53

can't hear the telly, because we've got one of them one

8:55

that steams the milk and it does the grind and they're

8:57

like, it's quite loud, it's quite annoying best money we've ever

8:59

spent oh, we've had it for

9:01

nearly ten years, it's fantastic but still, they're like, turn

9:03

it down, I'm like, fuck it, it's you you slept in I

9:08

wouldn't need to drink this as soon as I wake up

9:10

so I can function tell you what, you know what? you

9:13

don't talk to me about our kids because I swear to God I'll

9:15

tell you what I had thought the other day people

9:18

who, we work with people we know

9:21

who need a morning coffee oh,

9:23

I need my coffee, I can't function before I'm a coffee and

9:25

they haven't got kids I'm like,

9:27

fuck, when you have kids you're gonna have

9:29

to move on to cocaine or speed

9:32

or something there's coffee, if you only have

9:34

coffee now you're not gonna touch a

9:36

fucking tide you're gonna have to wake up and knock a couple of

9:38

bloody tony montanas up morning everyone

9:42

honestly, I was thinking, fucking hell

9:45

eesh, but yeah, kids man love

9:47

them, but I'm gonna fucking kill

9:50

you they just get

9:52

up early, every day every day, every day, they just

9:54

get up early Jaztime's five o'clock, boom

9:57

just love coming into a room and I'm like, I'm just It's

10:02

just a lot. Yeah, you'll miss

10:04

it when it's gone. And

10:06

you will. But I will. Yeah you will. I will.

10:08

This is what's so annoying that I told you didn't I went

10:10

and I took Ray from Mark's yesterday

10:13

and he had a little trolley which

10:15

I, by the way. Sorry. You're

10:18

spending our money on Marks and

10:20

Spencer. It's not Christmas. It was a treat. It's

10:22

not? No it was a lot of stuff. It's

10:24

not Christmas? What the fuck

10:26

do you think you're playing at? Taking

10:28

him as well. Yes sir. Him grabbing stuff, putting him in

10:30

the trolley. He's still a day. Hey, lovely

10:32

dog. No one, you ain't got one, you have to split

10:34

your hot cross buns down there. It's them little, I'm trying

10:36

to watch what I'm doing and you brought in them, you

10:39

brought in them iced buns with jam in the middle. I

10:41

love iced buns. Oh yeah. I know.

10:44

I put one in Robin's pot lunch today. I was like. By

10:46

the way, did he have any sort of nutritious

10:48

food in this? Yeah, yeah he had that apple that's been

10:50

in his bag for three days that he refuses to eat. Put it in. Put

10:53

it in there. The old faithful, honest

10:55

return, return to her. Fuck,

10:57

every day. An apple, it's done

10:59

some fucking miles, that apple. Swear to

11:01

God. You wanted it. What was I saying?

11:05

You ain't Marked as a rave. Oh,

11:08

so, shout out to Super Mark, I said

11:10

to the kids little trolleys. Oh

11:12

yeah. I mean. Shout out

11:14

to Morrison's and Sutherland, someone's nicked them all. Yeah I

11:16

know, they haven't got any more. The lady said someone's

11:18

nicked them. In the Morrison's and South Shields they've

11:20

got security tags on them. Well that

11:22

is grim. That is tragic. Oh God, for God's

11:24

sake. If you're out there now, right, and you

11:27

have one of the Morrison's supermarkets, kids supermarkets that

11:29

you've nicked from the supermarket in your home, shame

11:31

on you. Shame. Shame on you. Shame.

11:34

Go on Facebook Mark, replace and get a second hand like kids trolley. Literally

11:36

could probably get one for God's sake. Yeah. Anyway,

11:39

that aside, it depends what kind of kid you got

11:41

because Robin, I could never have got him that. Never.

11:44

He'd have broke people's legs. Yeah, yeah. Rafe,

11:47

neighbor there, got his gold. Anyway, an elderly

11:49

lady came up to us and she went,

11:52

I assume she might not have any grandchildren because she actually

11:54

said my son's 57 now. And

11:57

she said, and I miss it so much. Many.

12:00

Rivers. We love his yes it is he

12:02

not Oh is the both? I'd be like

12:04

he of vaudeville adding us but she actually

12:06

said to me she said the worse when

12:08

you're so. Lucky. Small. And

12:10

it provides proper. Stuck with is an hour and

12:13

I dunno I was just like. Yeah.

12:15

I am we'll you know will

12:17

very low and I will miss

12:19

it but then a three up

12:21

this morning when I was be

12:23

in tests in the taste. Sorry

12:25

about that again this. Will

12:27

not make us up on Garvaghy no

12:29

other day of the oh the. Hilarity

12:31

of our children know I'm sorry this video

12:34

on introduction of my arm the seen As

12:36

for some reason I think the see the

12:38

thing our marriage is like dead at because

12:40

robin is like why on you and dad

12:42

sleep than the same bed and they won

12:45

his nose and to do the who's. In

12:47

my up but we we got a really

12:49

good because we see each other so much

12:51

we would go so much even wimmer the

12:53

house together we don't what stuff together know

12:55

we don't watch the game. What yourself out

12:57

we have separate nights I really nice I

12:59

am. And must have believer. As

13:02

not, Lehman's in bed. Yeah, because

13:04

nothing funny, right? City Sex

13:06

or other times young people, I want one

13:08

gem of a while. While I haven't respectful

13:11

Susan Saturday, go to bed. On a land of

13:13

all human or. Absolutely not. And not

13:15

just that when I go to sleep,

13:17

Honestly like that, don't. Need

13:20

touch it would turn over. Why are we in

13:22

the same bed? And. Bucks to to look

13:24

quite angry. same. For. You

13:27

know, ongoing separate separate beds and again allies

13:29

keep to tennis in what you get. Together.

13:32

And. We.

13:35

Say about. The

13:38

goods and. Services

13:43

that. Will.

13:50

Do that. Too bad. But. Hello

13:54

and welcome back to this He gets sorts of

13:56

sad many and I. Married.

13:59

annoyed, just. in case you didn't know I found

14:01

out something new the other day. Oh, new thing? It

14:03

happened. This is how mad our relationship is. It happened

14:06

and I didn't say anything to you because I thought

14:08

I'm gonna say that on the podcast. Okay. The

14:11

podcast. In the box? On trains. Yeah.

14:14

You're not allowed to trade podcast. Eh? So,

14:17

the gentleman who was next to us who had

14:19

the two hour long phone conversation. Not

14:21

a gentleman of pain in the fucking arm. Yeah, well, yeah,

14:24

I use the term gentleman very least.

14:26

Oh, sorry, just to give it. So,

14:29

I'm very, very self-conscious of talking in public

14:31

on the phone. Very self-conscious. I've said before,

14:33

people who just walk down the street with

14:35

the phone on speakerphone holding it out and

14:38

I'd like to get the fucking sandwich, shooting

14:40

and screaming. Have some humility. But

14:42

they've just been dragged up though. Have some shame. They've been

14:44

dragged up. I don't even know what they're doing. I just

14:46

arrogant fucking pricks. But this bloke, he must have been on

14:48

the phone at some kind of customer services. And

14:51

he was just, he was speaking a different language

14:53

but he was just going absolutely ballistic. And then

14:55

he was doing that thing where he was dipping

14:57

in and out in English and then with the

14:59

other language. And he kept going, can I record

15:01

this conversation? And then he was belting off about

15:03

something else. I didn't hear that. Yeah, he kept saying, can

15:06

I record this conversation? And then, so I don't

15:08

know if it was like, he must, you know,

15:11

maybe an energy company. I don't know what it was but

15:13

he was going ballistic. Not

15:16

even in the vestibule, right next to what on the train.

15:18

And even when the other person was talking, he was going,

15:21

and he was like grunting. I was like, he's going to fucking smash

15:23

this phone all over the floor. Oh yeah. Well,

15:26

he asked for Vodka Street. I wish they'd give him it to calm

15:28

him down. Well, the woman was like, you have to have

15:30

a mixer with it. And I thought, well, I

15:32

don't know that. Wow. You

15:34

have to have a mixer. Did she mix it? No.

15:37

So I was like, well. Pointless. Really,

15:39

absolutely, absolutely stupid. That's like. You have

15:41

to take this kind of lemonade as well. Okay,

15:45

bye. Don't you love rules though? I love, I love shitty rules.

15:47

I hate stupid shit rules like that, yeah. I hate stupid shit rules

15:49

like that, yeah. I hate stupid shit rules like that, yeah. I hate stupid shit

15:51

rules like that, yeah. I hate stupid shit rules like that, yeah. I hate stupid

15:53

shit rules like that, yeah. I think

15:55

really live for them. Well, you can just live what I've got

15:58

to do, then you go, wait. So

16:00

there you go, you're not allowed to straightfog around the train. Not

16:03

allowed to, I mean you are but you've got to

16:05

sit with a mixer within a

16:07

couple of feet of it. Brilliant. Bloody

16:09

broken Britain! Babadubaba do

16:11

babaduba! This might be quite triggering for

16:13

you. Oh god. I thought it would just take

16:15

a minute to talk about Bruno. Right.

16:19

Fuckin' right. Don't. Don't.

16:23

Right. Don't. So we

16:25

know our family, our children's attention

16:27

span is the same as probably

16:29

like a gnat or you

16:32

know. Goldfish. Goldfish. Yeah. Our

16:34

fault because you know we live in the 21st century and they've

16:36

got screens and they've got Netflix and they've got everything at the

16:38

touch of the... Just listen to us. Look at what we

16:40

do for a living. Yeah and we're mental. So

16:44

we have watched Encanto about, well I've

16:46

seen it all the way through. Like,

16:48

oh check your privilege. Congratulations.

16:51

I watched it when Rafe was a baby.

16:53

Oh did you? Great. I know interruptions. Yeah.

16:55

Chris has never seen the

16:57

end of Encanto in the end. I've never seen

16:59

past where she ends up realising that Bruno's living in the

17:01

walls of the house. And he has no idea

17:03

why nobody can talk about Bruno.

17:05

I've got no idea. Honestly, every time

17:07

we sit down and watch it, I've... I

17:10

could recite the first 45 minutes

17:12

of that film. We don't talk about Bruno. Why?

17:15

Why don't you talk about him?

17:17

I don't know what happens. I don't know. I don't

17:20

know any... Like it's a mystery.

17:23

I don't know it well enough to tell you. I don't

17:25

want you to tell me. I want to find out somehow. Can I go

17:27

out and tell you? No, it might be spoilers for people listening. There might

17:29

be other people in this situation. But our children

17:31

have let me watch the beginning of it. I'm

17:35

not kidding. Six or seven times I've seen. Six

17:37

or seven times I've seen up until he's in

17:39

a thing. He's not wearing any. Fucking.

17:43

And obviously the songs come on on Spotify in the car

17:45

as well. So I know all the songs. Never.

17:48

I've got no idea what happens in that film.

17:50

And I have no idea why they don't talk

17:52

about him. Don't know why he's been living in the walls.

17:55

I don't know what to do. Put it

17:57

on tonight from... by

18:00

yourself like some kind of weirdo. Put it on

18:02

from the beat. Stop calling that the beginning. They're

18:04

not letters, man. They're weird. They'll go, what's this?

18:06

Well, get them playing outside and then just watch

18:08

it on your own. Oh, they're brilliant eyes, Father of the

18:10

Year. I kids get outside in the rain, I'm watching them,

18:12

can't I? Oh. Jesus. We're

18:17

going to Disney for me though. For me, not for

18:20

you. Daddy's going to Disney, he gives me

18:22

Mickey House, he has back. Honest,

18:24

no idea what's going on in that film.

18:26

And I'm gonna just, I'm waiting. I'm curious

18:29

to see if it

18:31

ever happens. Like if I ever end up

18:33

seeing it naturally. Can I have your Kelly? No, I'm curious

18:35

to see if I naturally ever do it. I'm not gonna

18:37

go on my way to do it, but I'm gonna hopefully

18:39

come across it. I'll be on my death bed on a

18:41

sequel. What was it? Why don't they talk about that? What?

18:47

And he never found out. And he never

18:49

knew that. Oh, God. Great, hey, great first

18:52

off of the film. Brilliant, really good. Honestly,

18:55

I'd say I'm hooked, but I haven't

18:57

been given a chance. Does the

18:59

candle go out? I don't know what's going on.

19:02

Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bap. Just

19:04

before we do the beef. Oh. You're

19:06

gonna be quite proud of us actually. Okay. I've

19:09

learned the Mario Brothers, the beginning of the rap. Really?

19:12

Yeah. From the movie? Yeah, yeah,

19:14

yeah. Because, well, so I

19:16

sing the boys' songs before bed. Yeah. Don't

19:19

like lullabies. They do not, they will not have.

19:21

I've seen all of this before, your lullabies are so

19:24

depressing. They are. The

19:26

blind orphans. Yeah. No, he hasn't, he's got

19:28

eyes, he's just blind. Oh, okay. But he's

19:30

an orphan. Right. And there's another

19:33

one, they're horrible. They're all very, they're

19:35

all very sad. Awful. Down

19:37

in the valley. Down in the valley, yeah. Down in

19:39

the valley, the valley so low. Horrible. Hang your head

19:41

over. Stop, stop, stop. Here they went, might be about

19:43

death. Yeah, they're all about death. So

19:45

I've learned, so instead, I

19:48

sing a lot, I sing Lady Gaga to

19:50

them. Mm-hmm. They get lots of, you

19:52

know, they get. I can't wait for you to

19:54

get this rap wrong, because you're gonna get this

19:56

rap wrong. I did a very slow instrumental kind

19:58

of chill version of Mm-bop. by Hanson the

20:01

other day. Wow! Can we have a rendition of

20:03

that please? Yeah. Yes,

20:05

there are many relations in this life, only

20:08

one or two will last. You

20:10

go through all the pain and

20:12

strife, you turn your back and

20:14

it's gone so fast. Nice! That feels

20:16

like it's the same speed. And it's gone

20:19

so fast. Very good.

20:21

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's enough. Get

20:24

to sleep, you prick. Yeah, but

20:26

you can't tell him to go to sleep while

20:28

singing. But that's quite catchy.

20:32

I really slow it down. No, it's still

20:35

a bit. You know

20:38

what I mean? A

20:42

pornography is better, I do a

20:44

pornography. That's alright. Is

20:46

that what the words are?

20:57

I don't know. You've made that up.

21:00

Maybe. But

21:02

they asked for Mario Brothers Rock. And I was

21:04

like, I don't. Can I cue you in?

21:06

Yeah. It's rubbing towards it. That's

21:09

laughing all the words. Okay, ready?

21:11

We're the Mario Brothers and

21:13

plummens, a game. We're not like the others who

21:15

get all the fame. If your sink is in

21:17

trouble, we'll be with you on the double. We're

21:20

not like the others, you'll be hooked on the brothers.

21:22

Embarrassing. To the bridge. Oh, what did I get wrong?

21:24

You went, ahh. We're the Mario Brothers and plummens,

21:26

a game. We're not like the others who get

21:28

all the fame. If your sink is in trouble,

21:31

you can call us on the double. We're faster

21:33

than the others. You get hooked on the brothers.

21:35

To the bridge. No, that's the next verse. Oh,

21:37

God. Is it too big? What's the second verse?

21:43

Oh, hold on. What's the second verse? Oh, there

21:45

he is. No, no, no, no. You

21:49

room for retreat. So hang on to your seat. Get

21:52

ready for adventure and remarkable feats. You meet Koopas and

21:54

Troopas, the Princess and the others. Hangin' with the plummens.

21:56

You get hooked on the brothers. To the bridge. To

21:58

the bridge. Right, there you go. That

22:00

is the theme tune from Mario

22:03

TV series from the 80s. Is

22:05

it the same word? Same word, the first bit.

22:07

First bit's the same word. It's the TV series.

22:10

Not the film. The Mario

22:12

TV series when two blokes played them. It was like

22:14

a kid show. Crazy.

22:17

Yeah, yeah. Loads of versions. There

22:19

we go. There we go. OK.

22:21

I might put them to sleep. I might put

22:23

them to bed at night. Oh, feel free. Yeah. Yeah.

22:26

Just like, shh, guys. You ready? Ready? Hi,

22:29

kids. Do you like violence? Want to see

22:31

me stick nine inch nails to each one

22:33

of my eyelids? Want to copy me and

22:36

do exactly like I did? Try, sit and

22:38

get fucked up. Where's the mala- Oh, sorry.

22:40

Get beeped up. Where's the mala- Shh,

22:43

go and sleep. Hi, my

22:45

name is- What? My name is

22:47

called a fucking sleep. My name is- I

22:49

would sing- So I would sing sadder songs, but I

22:52

get really upset. Right. Yeah, yeah. I tried singing Wind

22:54

Beneath My Wings once to them, and I was a

22:56

man. I

23:01

come downstairs, kiss your shabazzi, daddy

23:03

mum crying again. She's wetting me

23:05

pillow again, me

23:09

pillow-soo-again. Gotta keep it light. Baba

23:11

do baba do baba do ba. It's

23:13

time for What's Your Bee? My beef with

23:16

you- Wow. Is you telling me to not

23:18

shout stop when you are about to crash

23:20

the car. Wow. Because you're an arrogant- Yes.

23:22

Wow. Yes, because I'm still annoyed after the

23:24

other day with you still having to apologize

23:26

for. You're an arrogant, awful- I don't want to stop

23:28

it. I've always stopped it when you start a show.

23:31

I- You had not- I asked. You had not? I

23:33

asked. I am not gonna sit- And we weren't moving.

23:35

I am not gonna sit in the car, right? Ever.

23:38

In my entire life, no matter who it is. Tasty

23:40

driver, whatever. Good. Because I'm not gonna sit there,

23:42

and just for you to not be bad mannered,

23:44

crash the car and go, eee, well I knew

23:46

it was there, but I didn't want to hurt

23:48

you, feelings. We weren't moving. We weren't moving, and I went

23:50

to pull out, and the other guy went to pull out, and

23:52

I put the brakes on, and as I put the brakes on,

23:55

you were like, like

24:00

we were going towards a fucking school bus at

24:02

90 mile an hour. It

24:08

was absolutely ridiculous the way you went

24:10

on. We were in my car. We were in

24:12

my car. Why do you always drive? Who's the

24:14

one I hate? Honestly, I

24:16

am not going to drive any more. Good? Because you

24:18

are the worst passenger in the world. You're

24:21

the worst driver in the world. Nah, you're

24:23

the worst passenger. What you do is you put pressure on

24:25

and you ask things and you get involved and then I've

24:27

got to deal with you. I'm driving at the same time

24:29

and then anything happens and you're like ahhh. Nah, you

24:32

get distracted

24:34

so easily. No it's not.

24:36

You were one of them people where you're talking and

24:38

if you're talking about something that you get passionate about you

24:41

can't concentrate on the road and you're just talking and I'm

24:43

like I don't care. Listen, I hate

24:45

to do this right but let's get it

24:48

out there. Let's work out

24:50

all of the miles we've done all over the

24:52

country. I drove myself round for the first five

24:54

years of my career every single night.

24:56

Hundreds of miles. Absolutely fine. I've

24:58

got the mileage on you. I've got the experience on you

25:00

and you need to wind your fucking neck up. No, because

25:02

I think the problem is I think you passed your test too early. I think

25:05

you were too young. I passed when I was 17. Yeah,

25:08

exactly. 17. I'm getting the

25:10

mileage on you, Belle. No, I had a bit more life experience.

25:12

I had a cross. I had crossed a lot of more

25:14

roads when I did my test. What?

25:18

You crossed a lot more roads. I'm supposed to do that. I was

25:20

supposed to drive down them. No, you wouldn't have to drive different paths.

25:23

Clip. You're a

25:25

horrible passenger. You're a horrible,

25:27

horrible passenger. Okay, hands

25:30

up, right? When I'm driving, if I make a

25:32

mistake, I go, sorry about that. Yeah. And

25:35

I always put my arm out to save people. Yeah.

25:38

Across. But I always say, sorry about that.

25:40

Sorry. You don't. I've never made my mistake.

25:43

Oh my God! You make a mistake and

25:45

you never say sorry. That was my fault.

25:48

I would have said sorry, but you went, ah! Fuck!

25:51

I can't believe it! Mary doesn't

25:53

help! It was pathetic. I was more

25:55

irritated than I did. It's not pathetic. It was

25:57

worth being in it. Good card.

26:00

That weren't moving speak when I think

26:02

that we weren't move an inch fuck

26:04

and miles away when I dell had

26:06

all my that a guy's erotic feet

26:08

away as addicts opposite pathology, obese with

26:10

maybe this is my beef with you

26:12

as a humbling to do with that

26:14

This is Not. My. These viewers

26:16

and saw. Various times you

26:18

try and score by my activities. Am

26:20

obviously the to be and not opera tend

26:23

you go out lords and I but I

26:25

do go out and I mean it's wrong

26:27

and pop store for not and every time

26:29

I go our time last night in every

26:32

time a cool to go to the U

26:34

S C or to take the lads down

26:36

to London on the train those magically a

26:38

real strike which means that you're buying all

26:41

yeah whenever I'm former will allow destiny Bought

26:43

last night you talked to another level. My.

26:45

Mates came around and you tried all

26:48

it. You tried to murder in cold

26:50

blood one of my friends stones you

26:52

actually try to kill one friends that

26:54

just because you did Mommy the lots

26:56

to have a good time I stare

26:58

are a listen. I'm. Ashamed.

27:01

I haven't over this shocked, haven't gone

27:03

over this, and I would never do

27:05

that. This is actually my favorite. Lineal,

27:07

friendlier so I would never do it.

27:10

Every one of in and. Honestly,

27:13

Potus. Stuff. Like Netflix

27:15

documentary Comment about you know, mate.

27:17

So tough time until modern. And yesterday

27:20

i was gonna make i was gonna

27:22

make it all t lead to say

27:24

the get a pizza and and then

27:26

i made my tea which was delicious

27:28

by the them have some he is

27:30

a funny lunch today it was chicken

27:32

size interval inner air in like a

27:34

city so. I was gonna have some of the

27:36

bus or you put not the chicken thighs. know like that can

27:38

be like eat the ball elastic bands. Said.

27:40

New and sit. Over the

27:42

innocent. Meet butler. Whatever. So. It.

27:45

Was a says time I've ever really actually

27:47

used like peanut butter in a recipe. And.

27:50

And Jordan your friend is severely as a see the

27:52

end of the most and I was a two and

27:54

a have a taste and he said what's in it

27:57

locally. And allow him in and all you will

27:59

pay Them open you up. Coriander. Last lot of

28:01

coriander you up what you already? I have

28:03

not been down he told the Not a

28:05

Knife and fork a last minute. You.

28:08

Went peanut butter and he went. What kind of. It.

28:11

Would have been honestly would be horrible it

28:13

would wind up. Some intolerance wilson he added

28:15

we must night that we had an allergy vice

28:17

city has has hit monster dogs and way you

28:19

have no way to be seen. No. Problem

28:22

in a bit. of

28:24

a little excited I. Didn't want to league. Say.

28:27

I'm. So tempted murder. About the A

28:29

list. Nick. More that unique from Super Drop

28:31

in the Day. or

28:34

something else attempted murder or now i was has

28:36

like me a white the authentic hello and i

28:38

was live your also the tell him tell them

28:40

off honestly. Absolute

28:43

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28:52

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29:34

Hey Dave. Yeah, Randy? Since we

29:37

founded Bombus, we've always said our socks,

29:39

underwear, and t-shirts are super soft. Any

29:42

new ideas? Maybe sublimely soft?

29:44

Or disgustingly cozy? Wait, what?

29:46

I got it. Bombus.

29:48

Absurdly comfortable essentials for yourself. And

29:51

for those facing homelessness. Because

29:53

one purchased equals one donated. Wow, did we

29:55

just write an ad? Yes.

29:58

Bombus. Big comfort for

30:00

everyone. Visit bombus.com/ACAST and use code

30:02

ACAST for 20% off your first

30:04

purchase. Babadou

30:06

babadou babadou bas! It's time for

30:08

Questions from the Publix! Questions from the Publix! hanh hanh hanh

30:10

hanh hanh hanh hanh hanh hanh hanh hanh hanh hanh hanh

30:12

hanh hanh hanh hanh hanh hanh hanh hanh hanh hanh hanh hanh

30:14

hanh... We should have probably got a professional

30:17

journal made by now. No, no. Four years in.

30:19

Waste of time. Waste of time. I enjoy doing

30:22

it. I enjoy doing it. Sometimes you don't do

30:24

the pah-pah-pah-pah-pah... ...but I look at our little recording

30:26

thing here that I don't even know how to

30:28

use... ...but when we do the pah-pah-pah-pah-pah it does

30:30

loads of little sharp lines. Oh, we nailed that.

30:32

Nice. Yeah, yeah. Good little thing. Love you too.

30:34

Well done. Oh, we're touching hands. As

30:37

always, if you'd like to get in touch, it's shagmarinoid.gmail.com Right.

30:40

Hi both. Please keep this anonymous for

30:42

reasons that will become apparent. Only

30:45

three people in brackets, as far as I

30:47

know, know about this. Ooh. Mmm. When

30:50

I was 25, slash 26, I went

30:52

out with a shy girl... ...who was

30:55

a deviant behind closed doors. Uh,

30:57

Quiet Ones are all the worst. Yeah. Quiet Ones are all

30:59

the worst. A lady in the street but a frickin' a

31:01

bear. That's me. I'll add

31:03

that to me. Is that me? I'll add

31:05

that to me, um, me nighttime songs for

31:08

the boys. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

31:10

I'm a lady in the street but a frickin'

31:12

a bear. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shorty got

31:14

down. You got to do it in the

31:16

lullaby. Shorty got down. Said, come and

31:18

get me. Yeah. I

31:21

was so caught up till I met her. She

31:23

told me, yeah. She

31:26

and my girl were the

31:28

best of homies. Next

31:31

thing I know, she was all... Go to

31:33

sleep! All up

31:35

on me. Shut your eyes! Well, without

31:37

knowing... Yeah. Without

31:41

knowing it, you're just gonna, like, be

31:43

raised in two deviants. Like,

31:46

why are there absolute purrs? There is a song,

31:48

actually, there is a song, saying normally, that has

31:50

got whispered in, that'll be really good. Which one?

31:52

Let the bodies in the flow. Let

31:54

the bodies in the flow. Let the

31:57

bodies in the flow. Then what that

31:59

is... That up. it's a. Really?

32:02

Really heavy metal song and although it's probably not, you

32:04

know some like a gamble would hear that got us.

32:06

not real heavy metal but you know for me it's

32:08

of him out yet. Don't. Hear the rest

32:10

of the knob, Or not is at. Her.

32:13

Parents were both Gps. Diary

32:15

are still he always there

32:17

is a disease or yes

32:19

I sit together for the

32:21

real. Did I say. It's because

32:23

it is get like get it in the

32:25

get L floating So yeah, probably actually this.

32:27

I always think of these jobs with M.

32:30

You know like to hear what the cold. When.

32:33

Details easily secret in the Clinton the one

32:35

with the cold confessional. Know the when have

32:37

to keep a secret. Or doctor

32:39

patient confidentiality. Potentiality: Right View:

32:42

Marriage A P Cliche Confidentiality

32:44

between each other. I imagine

32:46

the due to offload. It I was your

32:48

Gp Amity. They are like lawyers are like

32:50

council as you go. Well we you call

32:52

a Congolese this. Because. I see hard cause

32:54

it in a lousy must be really

32:56

hard. Well ah think Teepees Margie pays

32:58

just about the not murder someone called.

33:00

oh what's this Martino Zucchini the last

33:02

throws me off whole again the day.

33:05

Oh imagine if you have God. May

33:07

Mario Israel I sell Bill Murray as

33:09

a rapper. personally diagnose and visit Zebra

33:11

You are does a Gp who rules

33:14

a dead goes to jujitsu. played them

33:16

and like sometimes I want to go

33:18

samuel often it's at me about two

33:20

and a whole box. Nice guy night.

33:22

For now as in brackets, the relevance

33:24

of this will become apparent that he

33:27

pays the company. That live in a

33:29

pays of and go for a door slams

33:31

Zola. that such as I look lovely in

33:33

real life with it. I'm like the

33:35

opposite. I'm a freak in real life and I'm really

33:37

play and and shit in the bedroom. And

33:41

just as a I'm not known as.

33:43

A lot more than. A

33:46

cigarette? I'm not mobility. Is have gone.

33:48

I'm sorry guys I not you really got isn't

33:50

a really bad time of life as I used

33:52

to be on. Awesome! if I now have seen the

33:54

photos was sort of what the here's what you could

33:57

one photos of her. Bedroom and

33:59

available. The lot more Clayton, but now.

34:02

Lot and of if we have you moments of. Yeah I

34:04

love you are at the other whatsoever

34:06

them. Suburbs. So. I'm Joe Shower. Know

34:09

this is why would have a shallow and I'm going to have

34:11

was yeah that. Ah,

34:14

Why would I do that? Or with

34:17

anyone. If you think I'm going to

34:19

have spunk driven out on the old

34:21

days of that one and a hey

34:23

hey hey, is this still tired popular,

34:25

Bogus This Advice: Listen, Listen. Listen. She

34:28

lived in an annex of his parents'

34:30

home. I'm only mind

34:32

Monet. Edge Of Gibbet. That's that.

34:34

C P money at

34:36

So privacy slush nice/shenanigans

34:38

would never an issue.

34:40

Shenanigans In a Room That Yannick

34:42

Shenanigans. I'm running genetics, cinema, gulags,

34:46

Said adding some other get. Back to sadly

34:48

shenanigans comes know. Was.

34:52

A. Swig giddy

34:54

the day one night she persuaded

34:56

me to do bondage. Still. For

34:58

Christ's allies. I was. God. Didn't

35:01

feel that way. I was God's in. tied

35:03

on all fours. Could have a foot mama.a

35:05

Gps. Well. Or know what

35:07

allied you see the thing. Or two

35:09

out of it. As I said, aws,

35:12

I was gags anti than also it's a safe

35:14

word. Horrible. Not. Was

35:16

substituted with me tapping loudly on

35:18

the headboard. The Absolutely Not.

35:21

Why? You do not. whatever won't do

35:23

it. Dental at all, nor. Oh.

35:25

Is it or settle, we're door. Knob. Up

35:28

So I honestly like a reserve. The right on our

35:30

policies and to a reserve. the right to judge or

35:32

if I was with someone of them are like ought

35:34

to com a tie your point of i was in

35:36

the top on the headboard of a hoodie court would

35:38

court sports golf with. You they like what's wrong

35:41

with me? Yeah. Let your

35:43

that out He was out of a dodger father's

35:45

I got up and okay the new to not

35:47

right and then afterwards right I'm good at I'm

35:49

going to get Uma das two and a top

35:51

top out before you pass out so if you

35:53

enjoyed as well. Because. of what the

35:55

fuck that eat out almost biden all was

35:58

shot him. Why

36:00

would you like about us? Listen

36:03

so the top and the got up and

36:05

out and headboard problem was I had in

36:08

the least my fingers before tying and my

36:10

hands without to foot sort of the headboard.

36:12

says as. I

36:18

was basically wrapped up like rope

36:20

parcel. Anyway,

36:23

Some spending became something a bit more

36:25

extreme when I saw the square of

36:27

cold lube on my boom. Home. Never

36:29

in the world. Cold and I'll go

36:31

with it. I thought off Levada. The

36:33

problem was warm and outlaw. A specific

36:35

go with it I thought and see if

36:38

it's any good. Cool with it I thought.

36:40

She starred to push a dildo in

36:42

any. This. This. Is. A bit

36:44

of the we in of the when I

36:47

decided it wasn't funny. Yeah. So.

36:49

I tried to tap out. Oh fuck

36:51

I can't beach. So

36:53

in an effort to stop the drilling of

36:55

my back passage I cleanse to. Go

37:02

awry. Yeah, you'll have a dirty,

37:04

dirty, border. Earth

37:06

A for one of the of it's it's a

37:09

crime is. Now

37:12

for context this wasn't a realistic

37:15

dildo with bowls but an old

37:17

school vibrator. Classic and smooth her

37:19

hands were comfortable in lieu that

37:21

my innocence equally a slippery as

37:23

I can a mistress and city

37:25

on which in see unwittingly pushed

37:27

it in my also effectively soaked.

37:30

That it all Me. My God. Oh,

37:32

full auto respond. Not ideal. So it's

37:34

gone because it is a book like.

37:37

Goes. Unnoticed didn't and you. Don't.

37:39

Worry it's pull out a bit. I'll

37:41

get Hell, I'll get help. Yeah, that's

37:44

what she said. Oh then what's the

37:46

most the most unnecessary addition to any

37:48

sentence ever used? A here is no

37:50

Choice Low the i'm first of like

37:52

a books as be joining the a

37:55

six inch of blood the inside, the

37:57

odds. Sorry, I'm sorry. Ah

37:59

ah. Not at the

38:01

I would never get over someone's

38:03

mama.com in and haven't apologize for

38:05

my ass. Listen I would never

38:07

get over last. See we. Ten minutes

38:09

in brackets It felt like hours late at

38:12

with her mom. And some screwing.

38:14

Spring. Heavenly. It was

38:17

that are on an ambulance to avoid

38:19

full loss of the sex toy inside

38:21

me if I was moved. The emergency

38:23

operation involves her. Holy my cheeks apart

38:25

as his mom basically last if the

38:27

base of the vibrate s and slowly

38:29

pulled it from my slippery enos. It

38:32

took you attempts in. I'm not going

38:34

to lie, I wasn't he made we

38:36

had. I know please don't judge. Me

38:38

that movie about a threesome congress who

38:40

is free. You're gonna die right foot.

38:42

First of all, can I just palsy?

38:44

They. Are the parents

38:46

are really do feel like

38:48

you will. Realize.

38:51

You've gone wrong some way. When.

38:54

You wall in your on x. Law.

38:57

Suing. A dildo ability?

38:59

you know what as boy for? Okay,

39:01

It's only did you think right? So

39:04

make we let her watch them. And she shouldn't have watched.

39:06

Yeah, I know, but it's that

39:08

the don't kids. They're like that old

39:10

other in their twenties. Balboa? Yeah, Day

39:13

yeah. Oh okay. Then put it in

39:15

this scenario. Rise. And

39:17

will do it. Boys and boy that's a one

39:19

of us. Our sons are the bad boys and

39:21

right here and this happened and they literally came

39:23

running downstairs in the like oh my god I

39:25

need help I would. Take yeah,

39:27

I would have to go and help with who would have

39:29

to help? Or to give give you have

39:32

got. No. Chance know all about

39:34

open on alien immobile in work for a

39:36

dumbass Nine nine Nine I am public will

39:38

believe it or been. There's no you get

39:40

on a. Carpet. Cleaner is in

39:42

the garbage if we need it. I'll. See years

39:44

in the morning. Hope we both are you. What are? You

39:46

might not make a spot that's on you. Good

39:49

night out with okay highly I would else

39:51

I was. Hi, I'm not. Pulling.

39:54

A dildo out of history just bomb

39:56

in my Alex. Yeah, you could stick

39:58

it up your Alex. From.

40:01

An. Old Bow would have to help out. Has to.

40:03

Yeah, Adam's Adam's on on the earth and. Amount.

40:05

Of anger and most people are but a human's the

40:07

me. But yeah come on and so face so little

40:10

Mom comes in, air is in the we had a

40:12

threesome is ever been in his life easier than it

40:14

is Mom's ring only. Uphold the Law

40:16

is awesome. grew I mean the stock in small talk after

40:18

not going to be great while. I'm not gonna lie,

40:20

I wasn't here. we had. I know please don't

40:22

judge me for the of as it was excite.

40:24

I don't know not. As it was

40:26

as sitting I couldn't think of the situation been

40:29

any more embarrassing. I can assure you I. Was

40:31

wrong. As. It

40:33

was evacuating the. I

40:36

all thousand. And farted

40:38

simultaneous. Or

40:41

I had as agreeing. the bed with

40:43

semen and her mom's arm and chat

40:45

with sprecher settled of now brownish lube

40:47

that my now well use bomb whole

40:50

decided to reddit send. A house is

40:52

one of the worst things I think of

40:54

a his. Oh

40:57

that is T.any could come out on could

40:59

be the love of your life and I

41:02

would never say never again. Have

41:04

lit would be like look. This. Was

41:06

Amanda Be. Gift. Give

41:09

his every word your Mom.is. A

41:20

lotto lox, eighty dog or relate

41:22

have.com. The I caught see

41:24

that even a garden that I can never say

41:26

that poor woman again as long as. You my

41:28

Mom though you're quite close to my mom. Could

41:31

all offseason close? But. Then

41:36

again no gp up at yeah cuz

41:38

bedside manner about his upper isn't it

41:40

all. Operation made him feel like

41:43

not. We had about absurd. I

41:45

am pump saw backtrack. It's like executive in

41:47

hospice. Ah but yeah, Bjp:

41:49

Bedside manner up a summit that as

41:51

as. Damning. As. Have

41:54

all been there? We've all done a right

41:56

so don't worry. Oh. Papa.

42:00

The Bathroom. Tell

42:03

me at in. I showered and join

42:05

them in the main house to receive a lecture

42:07

on the need for a wide based on anything that

42:09

was planned on. Been answered. In a Hot

42:11

Hot hot out of college as

42:13

a teaching moment. As

42:16

authored listen aboard a lot of ordered

42:18

his some online at half the have

42:20

a ultra rich point so that it

42:22

poland disappear up the apple. O Grim!

42:24

I stayed with Ever Wilde but had to move

42:26

on when she asked me for her birthday if

42:28

I could watch her getting double team by to

42:30

bounce us from our local nightclub. While the moral

42:33

of the stories d s we have cycles in

42:35

Duluth. To to the that sorry

42:37

That's what she wanted for birthday.

42:39

Yeah. I

42:42

mean. Where. You're from us to

42:44

help with a milestone birthday. August Twenty

42:46

Five assuming. And those got

42:48

coffee a bit they want to get for Christmas. Is

42:51

good is it He. Trusts. That's.

42:54

Disgusting. Missed each

42:56

to the robot. Quite. Use.

43:00

It to the room. Chris. How. And

43:02

yeah, what? Else is

43:04

gonna go to a gift. Vouchers assassin

43:06

families if you think is good I

43:09

said I'm up here. Honestly think I

43:11

would love a cinema pass from on.

43:13

If you honestly think that I have

43:15

any like want or need to be.

43:18

Look in what's called double. They. Trained

43:20

or whatever to an amount of the

43:22

of god oh my God. Not something

43:24

I know to know is I'm barely

43:26

britain sell to have sex with me

43:29

as than. A lowlifes?

43:31

Yeah, no shit. No to know

43:33

for a new.oh yeah. No. Conflict.

43:36

We at all. I'm sorry. For the

43:38

going visa his death. Said the ball back as

43:40

as the love eggs you got. The wife bought one the

43:43

I know as a. Model

43:45

for it ruins okay but part of

43:47

the drawing board. I see a.

43:51

Source told him. On

43:55

the run, others but even protests. Ave

44:02

Ave bad. Too bad I really impress a

44:04

long time businesses I'm in email about.

44:06

I immediately thought of you and have a

44:08

shame. Last tweet our electric chair caught

44:10

on fire hit or you who knew

44:13

what do electricity will be bad was a

44:15

long story short, my husband has been

44:17

forced to have nightly baths until we get

44:19

it sorted. He he expands, complains about

44:21

how much it costs to heat the

44:23

ward and how he can never get clean.

44:25

He decided to only put six inches

44:27

in the top to save. Money Cause

44:30

the. Then after scrubbing cleaned he realized

44:32

he needed to wash off all the soap

44:34

suds. Yes the solutions which I wish I'd

44:36

never witnessed was to love role and basically

44:38

and be bad. For

44:44

chronology of a have we. Talked

44:47

about months before before. Do. He

44:49

learned to make with his arms crossed and

44:51

beneath him and his leg spends his feet

44:53

were in the air than awkwardly began to

44:55

roll under his back legs flailing my arms

44:57

to than anything while his buddy dragged in

44:59

the bottom of the top dollar have horrible

45:01

squeaking. Noise awful at one one.

45:03

Was he there watching them?

45:06

some privacy to get a

45:08

joke? You. Idiot. Just

45:10

get a stamp. get a job Victorian

45:12

was have yet to hear basket get

45:14

a joke. And just port on

45:16

yourself or you can go on Amazon and

45:18

get them things way it's it's like to

45:21

Little M. It's assholes Scottish. It's a

45:23

shower head and a horse and then it goes

45:25

in. Get more on this one org or to

45:27

ah yes, in one on each side. like Mcnabb.

45:30

What? Your votes and it is wins in about

45:32

Get dirty with courses didn't exist to the

45:34

do it often the six inches of water

45:36

depend want to hold it would have probably

45:38

slightly different policy role in Roman dirty water.

45:41

Fresh water from the top job yourself? What?

45:43

Always. And ten in our i won't have

45:45

a bad word against people who don't like

45:47

bats an eye. It upsets me. Is you your

45:49

boss? Your botham habits pissed me off a little bit.

45:51

The Why: You have a quick as box ever all

45:53

about water you in there for thirty seconds on? Don't

45:55

know. Both have enjoyed it so much a

45:57

work really hard. The. Know.

46:00

The kind that you in that his mom. It's. Not

46:02

as a whole lot of quality. Know I just

46:04

one it. It's worth it is worth it. Isn't

46:08

I don't smoke? I don't do drugs when

46:10

I don't buy that many shoes. Were behind

46:13

me back to bother. Lot. Of any

46:15

money on a third of. Who. Enjoy! So thank

46:17

you. Grown. Man rolling

46:19

around in six inches of water. Bottle.

46:21

Shops outside. Do that.

46:24

Too bad that I was increased lung timelessness.

46:26

Second time, Emile I bought my kids to

46:28

email The Shade. All right. Okay, hobbies, I

46:30

never any with a listener. The most recent

46:33

episode where Chris got sad about pigeons feet

46:35

and rules. he says he always wondering the

46:37

Rcc. A. Oh

46:41

what I just of I out I

46:44

really apologize. I also several oh sorry.

46:46

I thought I would share the tale of

46:48

my pigeon rescue mission. know it's and it's

46:51

like a highlight is it and then we

46:53

are not as listen and he most recent

46:55

off your. Hands on my God help us

46:57

and tell you what made me sad actually.

46:59

Language and solar panels fitted and Amazon and

47:02

signed. You get these dreams. Some trace the

47:04

lobby and saw and were m. We.

47:06

Get them, you go. get them Bird proofs

47:09

You gotta get massport round the mother pigeons

47:11

like didn't live under them. and ten for

47:13

the can. Well. off well Asa

47:15

the same. Also need to get a beer proved

47:17

a Macbook pigeons and blah blah kill the medical

47:19

attention known or the guy when he would all

47:22

the to slide to get into beneath them because

47:24

a nice and warm and was like god fuck

47:26

i feel really bad now just as he said

47:28

it was a pigeon the tree when i. Like

47:31

this is sorry man I'm sorry but you don't

47:33

have deliberately made it to be tested Man ja

47:35

nai your to be top of the year you

47:37

them of them you'll be do me at any

47:39

probably break them will put mesh on them lots.

47:42

I'm really sorry I don't want seen as if

47:44

all the pigeons. Are listening A pigeons sorry

47:46

an olive. The well even if he has over this

47:48

pigeon. But actually when I'm on down the street of pigeon

47:50

size out in a lot. Of all thousand kings got

47:52

we were kings cross the are the n one flu

47:54

right from you had in front of everyone role as

47:56

very sick. And will listen this

47:59

for some context. I live in a

48:01

top fourth floor flat with my

48:03

boyfriend in southwest London and a

48:05

spare room has a large window

48:07

out on the balcony. Well Law

48:09

G G I read. Something.

48:12

Cells of we went on in. Summer Twenty twenty

48:14

three I woke up to sign blood smeared

48:16

on the window overlooking the bank. Any I

48:18

didn't think much of it. thought he could

48:21

have been the to have a bird that

48:23

at Eton a lot of red berries does

48:25

not the nicest. Oh but that thing. At

48:31

this time I was working from

48:33

home completely might Doc doctoral. That.

48:36

My doctoral thesis. A

48:38

doctorate? Yeah to the vin. I'm a doctor. And

48:41

what it's on you be.and anything in better on. Your.

48:44

Be a.or of book and mode. right?

48:46

matter what it was. Yeah, What's. It on.

48:48

Didn't. Say this and I sat. The g isn't

48:50

is about the needle adorning, it's on birds Because she

48:52

would have known. About I mean to a

48:54

doctor. With but. Yeah. Maybe it's

48:57

all go Rothys were always thing. Yeah, maybe I

48:59

would be a phd that makes you don't know.

49:01

but then she said it might be. Who

49:03

knows this and I can do one. So

49:05

hey, Doc got it on? Yeah, yeah, clever

49:07

clogs. Vote on. It. Was then

49:09

the that I spotted a pigeon on the

49:12

balcony hobbling around and dragging it's wind or

49:14

goes. Also covered in blood, the coalescing. Spoken.

49:17

It's it's north on and of the window. Honest and

49:19

abundantly any. I did not have a clue

49:21

what to do. I call my boyfriend it worth the

49:23

last around the office and said to take it down

49:25

stairs and leave it for the success. I told my

49:28

boyfriend I couldn't do that right as it will be

49:30

too sad he said at the most important thing was

49:32

enough get attached to it because after all of it

49:34

is just a pigeon and that's the circle. Of

49:36

Light a heartless but sadly. Enough

49:38

to so revive. So naturally I

49:40

named the Pigeon Pebble and I

49:43

now dedicated my life to making

49:45

sure he was okay. I

49:47

failed my doctoral thesis. Of

49:51

us who and like girl as

49:53

a pebble died thing with. Noise

49:55

to lapse. He would have been around the

49:57

balcony doing stupid pigeon things like sit in

49:59

Folsom. Impending They do Panda. Currently

50:01

I'm hopping on our furniture. Like

50:05

Rosie, I had never called the our species

50:07

before and didn't even know who to call

50:09

upon. Googling it was apparent that the Ice

50:11

Pc and local vet would not be interested

50:13

in saving the life as a pigeon with

50:15

a gun, the wing. Generally more reasonable for

50:17

can wasp. Yes, I've been in

50:19

the small charity called London Wildlife Protection.

50:21

Shout out to them for doing amazing

50:24

work and not producing and not prejudicing.

50:26

sorry. Against pigeons. Through eye contact with

50:28

them they told me to put the pigeon and

50:30

a box and wait for of and yet again

50:32

to. A fair fight or

50:34

he like of sorry, it's awkward, bit awkward, big of

50:36

a gentle. Well. See his. Breathe.

50:39

She's done it after fighting with the pigeon and

50:42

it suddenly the and uses its wing and flying

50:44

into my lap. I think that often. Hood I

50:46

live about. Only

50:49

above me. It's it's a woman. Fight will If it's

50:51

it's. Own. So

50:53

I waited and waited for someone to contact me.

50:55

Finally, at around six Pm I got a call

50:57

from someone and they said that my closest drop

50:59

off point with the forty five minute drive away

51:01

in North London. Two goals. It was a much

51:04

closer drop off point opening later that evening, but

51:06

he feared the bird would not make it. While

51:08

I said I would take the bird in, said

51:10

she'd let me know how the pigeon gets on

51:12

because I'd be. I'd grown quite attached to. It

51:14

why I should be sitting with in a

51:17

box. All that could. Know my boyfriend coming

51:19

through the door after a long day at work.

51:21

The pigeon is not folks who'd it isn't a

51:23

bucks an hour lounge and I'm telling him we

51:25

have to drive forty five minutes to.london's to draw

51:27

us the bird. otherwise Apple's born naked. Or

51:29

hook audible. We drove forty

51:31

five minutes and pulled up and waited and

51:34

waited for an hour or the guy to

51:36

collect the pigeon. It was a surreal experience

51:38

as I was just waiting on the side

51:40

of the road with a large box containing

51:42

a pigeons when another woman came over me

51:44

and I and said, are you waiting for

51:46

a bed to be like the to I've

51:48

got a Magpie. Bucks.

51:52

A guy eggs and also a got a

51:54

saw sorry for her. A call pull a

51:56

car then pulls up and this guy must

51:58

have about six boxes already in the back

52:00

of his car and he takes the birds

52:02

and then drives off. Few days pass and

52:05

I haven't heard anything about pedal. I messaged

52:07

the guy and said I rescue to pitch

52:09

in and you collected it for maybe as

52:11

a day and I just wanted to make

52:13

sure he was okay. His reply. What?

52:16

Pitch In. One.

52:35

Day. I. Have no idea Devil

52:37

is also Mars the story Rosie call

52:39

in the are as these years old

52:41

as the military these can be quite

52:43

stressful. Moral Authority found out with this

52:45

Vm. Mode of the store years

52:47

you didn't wanna do your forgive thesis

52:50

digits. The do that too. Bothered by Hello

52:52

Chris a movie? First. Or last year I

52:54

was working on a Tv show called Robson Greens began

52:56

to skate. Oh nice! I was absolutely buzzing to find

52:59

that Rudy was a guest on one the episodes

53:01

as I was dying and tell her the story in

53:03

person. However, the week that episode was filmed with

53:05

the one I had off. Know how

53:07

and why? Okay, Probably for the

53:09

best as I reckon the staff of the baby

53:11

say would have been traumatized. You never know how

53:13

the following story to a celebrity guess that at

53:15

so he isn't get immediately. Books and possibly

53:17

sedatives. Deliberate and. Know but I

53:20

will say. It

53:22

anyway. My. Nana has

53:24

always been a big dog piss and. She

53:27

gets a bit. why does that sound? We. As and

53:29

has decided that person was going on the edge.

53:31

Minor has always been a big dog. Has

53:39

not a was, it was a, it was

53:41

a in the way you pay a survivor,

53:43

by I know it was an exit minor,

53:45

those in a big dog person she gets.

53:47

Early every morning and walk their dogs and

53:49

the beach when it's nice and Clyde look

53:52

beautiful One morning know said a bit of

53:54

a tommy issue and had a sudden urge

53:56

to pop to the toilet. Obviously miles down

53:58

the beach, that was. The problem with over

54:01

an hour walk back to the car. she

54:03

knew she was in trouble home mom so

54:05

she looked around and make sure nobody was

54:07

there and as any seen pensioner would do,

54:09

she popped off into the sand dunes, dropped

54:11

at trial and took the shit. That.

54:14

These. Days lives to the of all

54:17

day it's own care. Can't imagine tron an

54:19

option or was a dogs have one more rounded. Been

54:21

a good probably liberal propaganda probably would have been

54:23

promised there, but I would you like it. I

54:26

stared at you while you have a shit all

54:28

that doesn't read. Wasn't everyone look at large stare

54:30

at us, look stare at us. Right now that

54:32

would pick him up. Said this before.

54:34

said this before. There's nothing gonna in the

54:36

world than just walk and past and

54:39

somebody with a dog or driving down the

54:41

street and just see an adult a shit

54:43

coming out of the dogs only. I just.

54:47

Every time around a corner morning. Every time

54:49

around the corner of his dog just shouldn't

54:51

Every single time. It just grows when

54:53

a dog owners a little or no. I do

54:55

think one day we. Will all comedies and

54:57

ago dogs. You have kids one cuddles anymore?

55:00

Though it's topical, I agree on some black,

55:02

just. Dumb. Null and void. Pick

55:04

an option. To. Not let this be the

55:06

not looking for another minute. Small that you go do.

55:08

This when for the managed to wait another

55:10

shit out of my that this is totally

55:13

of them but as I said a video

55:15

not less uncool and bloke that this video

55:17

on instagram and it was taught less southern

55:19

a shit if it's if love stood elo

55:21

that gone as a video and if is

55:23

a massive like bows. If you have. A

55:26

sustained away from me would

55:28

like a look at. A

55:32

winner. Got that massive so shit

55:34

happens in the of God growth.

55:36

So got our kids a toiletry

55:38

Now a. I know. Oh My. God.

55:40

Holiday Holiday Inn or not. Be. Very.

55:43

Good. Get in. Any

55:47

way to that a shit yeah night once you've done.

55:49

she grabbed a pill that and picked it up should

55:51

not an. Animal Respect. Yes, them seasonal

55:53

flu shot some dude in Animal

55:55

because. She's a oliver said will continue

55:58

in her walk along the beach. Nothing

56:00

had happened. She ran into one of the regular

56:02

dog walk as she knew who was on his

56:04

way back to the car. After struggling for a

56:06

conversation, he offered to take her to bags packed

56:08

with him to save her carrying them the rest

56:10

of the way. Yeah,

56:13

obviously she said no. He was.

56:15

He insisted that and also offer

56:18

anyway. How. Could the at all want to

56:20

keep the lights korean? it? it keeps me hands

56:22

warm. She was roman type thing

56:24

is there's no been that the copper and

56:26

the beach as it's private land for the

56:28

poor man would have had to throw my

56:30

mana my name is shit them back any

56:32

cost of scrub and often the acid which

56:35

is a ten minute drive down a country

56:37

road that's of sin. These. But he'll

56:39

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56:41

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56:43

and then take some west. Palm that organ

56:45

of you know you you It seems he was

56:47

done. Of the kids you know your bags if

56:49

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56:51

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56:54

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56:56

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56:59

few weeks later she saw him again and as well

57:01

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57:03

with him. Only. This time job than

57:05

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57:12

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57:23

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57:28

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