0:05

hello i'm a human's i'm wildly and you

0:07

listening to sex stories a podcast

0:09

that reminds us that our desires

0:11

are not only valid but perhaps

0:13

necessary for us to achieve our

0:16

maximum levels of joy in life allowing

0:18

us to spread a largest ripples

0:20

of love a

0:23

always, please keep your sexy thoughts

0:25

about me and our guests to yourself. And

0:27

enjoy our i guest today is a 47

0:30

year old white cisgender male, who has been

0:32

monogamous Lee married for 15 years. He

0:34

is pansexual and is into being dominated,

0:37

taking come, swapping

0:39

spitting, fluids mfm's

0:42

MMS, fix a

0:44

post production engineer from Canada. Welcome

0:46

to give

0:49

me start off by telling our beautiful listeners.

0:51

If you had to rate yourself on a sexual. Shame a Meter

0:53

scale with one being totally Shameless and

0:56

10 digs. So full of shame or tefal

0:58

today. I i say

1:00

probably at 5.

1:02

i'm not used to talking about this gonna thing and

1:04

only have a few people i can talk to like this

1:06

maybe that's what's causing the feelings

1:08

of shame i don't think i've shame about

1:11

things have done or experiences of

1:13

had it's more the talking

1:15

about it there's something i need to do more

1:17

of a think oh okay or

1:20

we are very honored to have you here today

1:22

the you feel the same way when you're talking to

1:24

partners about sex is up murder

1:26

are easier for you it's hard to started

1:29

them once it starts to it's like

1:31

a train of information

1:34

i think my version of it is it's like i'm looking

1:36

for the greenlight have permission and then once i have

1:38

it and like all the things and then i have to some

1:40

that to sing song them again so

1:43

in the name of practicing

1:45

talking about sex can you give us a little overview

1:47

of what your sex life is like right now and favorite parts

1:49

of you haven't

1:51

what is kind of slow with my

1:53

partner it's not as often as i'd

1:55

like a do go

1:57

to like massage places

2:00

Let's see, a lot of fun depending

2:02

on who is massaging me or

2:04

who I'm massaging. I really enjoy

2:06

that cuz it's not like intercourse so

2:08

much about it. That's a lot of touching and experiencing,

2:11

and it's going to where being dominated comes

2:14

from. I don't know, like to be kind of pampered

2:16

Is that the right word? Or I'd like to

2:18

be kind of follow

2:20

along. I

2:25

like when my boundaries get pushed

2:27

into scenarios. So if it's

2:29

like bill finger in the but you know

2:31

what i mean like that kind of thing is exciting to

2:33

me the boundary being pushed

2:36

in our way of explicit communication

2:38

or are you saying that you like

2:40

it when someone just go for something

2:42

they haven't discussed ahead

2:44

like it when i don't know that it's gonna happen

2:46

while that happens and i like to be

2:48

surprised by it completely surprised

2:51

you ever worry that that might lead you into kind

2:53

of a rapist situation

2:55

it's not being forced it's more

2:57

being experimented on

3:01

that are hot way to say if i'm

3:03

reading your body language correctly it sounds

3:05

like the assumption is a

3:07

situation where you feel safe

3:09

and comfortable and you could probably protect yourself

3:11

against whoever is experimenting on

3:13

yeah course like not like walking down the

3:15

street or or

3:18

something and somebody grabbed the in the wrong

3:20

way or the most forceful that's

3:22

different any consent for that of course but

3:25

i don't know like the hands go somewhere

3:27

but it's kind of like a slow

3:30

progression to intervene that hands go

3:32

to a place where you've never had them go or

3:34

mouth go somewhere where you've never had it that

3:36

connotes one area i'm

3:38

right there with you i love my boundaries been pushed

3:41

and i am the type of person where

3:43

it's so important for me

3:45

to have like a general overview

3:48

of what could happen with a given person

3:50

for me to relax enough to

3:52

like like a tongue in my awful the not a mean

3:54

like because what if i didn't pay attention to wiping

3:57

that day i'm just saying that's

4:00

always a thing where it we the thing

4:02

and like i have my the day but if i'm out in about

4:05

i don't know or it so can you

4:07

know what's your personal definition sexy

4:10

and didn't mean to

4:12

closest intimacy sexy

4:15

you know you can go to the what because

4:17

you're wearing obviously they're sexy visually

4:20

but to me it's more you know closeness

4:22

as way some be touches you are looking

4:24

your eyes i kind of thing is that's

4:26

sexy to me okay the

4:29

remember ever learning about consent growing i

4:31

think it was implied more than anything

4:33

like i grew up in a house where i was

4:36

taught to respect other

4:38

people that goes for raise

4:41

said the way people look it's kind

4:43

of a wide range of tanks and consent

4:45

kind of is implied in that were who

4:47

taught and respect and you

4:50

know if somebody says no the stop

4:52

right away

4:53

the newcomers if you have had an experience

4:57

of explicit consent where

4:59

there was like mutual permission

5:01

that was very sexy to you as you can recall

5:04

they can talk about the woman i was

5:06

dating before i got married because we had

5:08

lots of different experiences and try

5:10

new things and lots of sex so there

5:13

was one time where she had her

5:15

killed over whatever is a vibrating

5:17

one and she decided to kind of put

5:19

it to my legs and on

5:21

my taint and then asked if she

5:24

could try to insert it know it didn't

5:26

go in yeah that was me giving consent

5:28

to experience it until i couldn't do it

5:31

ah

5:34

that experience if you had known

5:36

in general that with on the table would you have

5:38

preferred if she had just gone for it

5:40

or is that the type of place where you like

5:42

warning

5:43

i think what for in the moment i think

5:46

i think that's kind of like what you like yeah

5:48

yeah i like my boundaries to be pushed a little

5:50

there and is sort of like an endorphin

5:52

rush

5:53

literally dopa mean is released when

5:55

we are surprised when there is a novel

5:57

thing especially when we like it you know

6:00

the mean like whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa

6:02

a surprise ya think if she has

6:04

before it would have been fine but

6:06

the fact that it was kind of like

6:08

a spur the moment thing was exciting

6:11

you're a little different types of exciting different

6:13

types of the prices and so i like to kind of like

6:15

think about that all of the ways that consent

6:17

can be sexy it can happen ahead of time

6:19

but also in the moment we can reopen

6:22

you know who knows even if it was beforehand

6:24

i think that would still be excited they

6:27

could still have that endorphin rush but maybe not

6:29

as intense me

6:31

but also maybe she would wait a week and then

6:33

sobriety of you just never have another

6:35

that's the whole thing and of course the other side

6:37

of that coin discuss i do the make more of an effort to

6:39

talk about consent in general is that the

6:41

can also revoke it at any time when but that anything

6:44

would want to be

6:44

Okay.

6:46

Can you tell us what happened to Shaila

6:49

M when it's time to to a new partner

6:51

about safer sex. And

6:53

what would your ideal version of this conversation? Be

6:55

good

6:56

i to go? Have Shame of the safer sex. It's

6:58

important, especially with a new partner to

7:01

be safe. And you don't know you have something

7:03

or she doesn't know. She has something or

7:05

transfer and then you put

7:07

a lot more people than you just yourself in Jeopardy.

7:09

So talking about I don't have

7:11

any Shame about saying, you know, we should

7:13

use protection or you don't

7:15

have you been tested or you know before

7:20

using your partners or a monogamous

7:23

social mostly I get

7:25

blood work, done every tree months or deputies

7:27

saw it before that. And i

7:29

know they'd run tests on everything so

7:32

the hear that

7:33

like he is in canada when it comes

7:35

to testing and free clinics at least my friends

7:37

and b c report such or

7:39

there's tons of the a good any clinical be

7:42

as anonymous as he can be set free

7:44

amazing okay now

7:47

petersburg the year earlier

7:49

when do you first remember hearing

7:51

about sex what do you remember thinking and

7:53

feeling about what is your first memory

7:56

around i am older

7:58

sisters a bunch of them

8:00

oh there was always boyfriend and

8:02

stuff so i always wondered what they were doing

8:04

something that was kind of my first introduction

8:07

, introduction but like wondering what

8:09

what's going on right right then

8:12

a funny story but for some kind

8:14

of saw it or some shit

8:16

on film or whatever was at a friend's

8:18

place and the cubs and like or sixth grade seven

8:20

maybe critics were at his house

8:23

you know after school is like takes

8:25

it as and he brings out like an old vhs

8:27

tape i'm dating myself dating we

8:30

didn't have the didn't fame so

8:32

he puts on this movie in it's like ten

8:34

people in a ten going nuts like

8:36

a horse join

8:40

member watching it and then it came to the my

8:42

shot or whatever the one that i saw was they

8:44

were having sex doggy style came

8:47

inside of her and he pulled it out

8:49

and i thought that come

8:51

came from the female because i am

8:53

has an orgasm around here

8:56

i didn't know what it was had no idea

8:58

you remember when you figure it out for

9:00

real i think somebody mention

9:02

that stuff comes out like one of my friends

9:05

the next year a great seven i was to

9:07

see my bed doing what boys do

9:09

when you're experimenting scavenge

9:11

think the votes emery's to do this

9:13

thing where i would like lick my hand or spit

9:16

him a hand and than run my hand

9:18

across kind of like pull the side

9:20

of the head of my cock and of down

9:23

of them and and along the edge of the head

9:25

and it was like super sensitive cool so

9:28

i would do that like on your left side

9:30

yeah i don't have like something to

9:33

do than what exactly that i

9:36

love knowing that where's

9:38

that people like to be stroke and touched specifically

9:41

and like the specific spot that's really cool

9:43

for you figure that out i figured that a

9:45

bullet i was doing that for a long time

9:47

like for probably year nothing was gonna happening

9:50

i dislike okay i'm done a to go to sleep or

9:52

done i remember specifically one

9:54

nights have in this kind of like something

9:56

else is happening in or something something

9:59

something inside yeah and

10:02

i remember it happening was like hot

10:04

fluid i

10:07

was like what happened i was little first little

10:09

scared and i was like i'm never going to do that again

10:12

and then like the next day i was like i'm gonna do

10:14

that against yet

10:18

so that was my first kind

10:20

of understanding of how your body

10:22

works and unless things to try to

10:24

find somebody else to do that

10:26

before we get there i would love

10:28

to know i heard you mention friends

10:30

who expose you to this chs

10:33

working i'm curious

10:35

did you get more information from friends

10:37

or family growing up or school like

10:39

where did your knowledge come from and what was the vibe

10:41

of your household

10:42

the time having a bunch of since sister's sister

10:45

would then have really talked about it was never kind

10:47

of like spoke about in her house i

10:49

never got to talk or anything like that play

10:52

i was mostly discovering it from friends

10:54

over few years older than me would talk

10:56

about it and in school we

10:58

just had like health costs which

11:00

was just the anatomy stuff

11:03

right you know this is a penis that this is the

11:05

vagina and this is how you make a baby kind of thing

11:07

but it wasn't like sexual health

11:09

and what about your parents to

11:11

david the thing with your family religious at all no

11:14

they're probably just too embarrassed is awkward which

11:16

is funny with the amount of people in my family

11:18

a think that they would

11:20

no no sometimes my friends who have

11:22

the most siblings have who

11:25

will not talk about sex just again

11:27

my personal experience the

11:29

or know who i never honestly never honestly never

11:31

to talk about it was more learning about

11:34

it from other people are reading

11:36

stuff for for finding magazines

11:39

the when it came time to look for partners

11:42

what did you do what were your exploration

11:45

just asking girls out and

11:48

it took me a while i was kind of a late bloomer like

11:50

suarez you know sexuality like having

11:52

sex with other people with your definition

11:54

of late great nine maybe fourteen

11:57

fifteen i remember that specific

12:00

experience was me and a cousin

12:02

i lived in a town the head that of a main

12:04

river that went through it so we went down

12:06

the river fishing and we went

12:08

down to this area where the recent

12:11

cottages and we saw

12:13

some girls that went to school with my

12:15

cousin and they were just at their cottage by

12:17

themselves like us of stem and there was

12:19

like our neighbors friends are met

12:21

and we're hanging out and a kind

12:23

of turned into all of us in the bedroom

12:25

and that four of us on a bed i

12:27

didn't have sex with day but it was like a lot

12:30

of groping and kissing

12:32

, touching and i remember wanting to go down on when

12:34

girls you wouldn't see

12:36

thought that was gross that so gross was kind

12:38

of my first experience or

12:40

house initiative anyone or anything before

12:42

that not like noticing

12:45

like a kissing like like a pet

12:47

the had done packs by the time i was that

12:49

eight but it was this was still a

12:51

very different you learn about

12:53

going down on people from porn

12:55

how did you like know it with a thing he have

12:57

probably fair

12:58

i don't know why wanted to do is like one of my favorite things

13:01

to do for sure

13:02

okay this is a good time to talk about it because

13:04

my next question is like when did you get

13:06

to finally do it and if you love it please

13:08

tell us specifics about what you

13:10

i was probably closer to

13:12

end of high school i had a bit of a

13:15

law in my sex life after that

13:17

it was at a time where nobody shaved so

13:19

it was a big bush i remember that i

13:22

remember being really wet and

13:24

not sure if i liked the taste

13:27

but that's nothing he groped her

13:29

like is a bit musky bit

13:32

mean every person in a different deal immediate

13:34

just been because it was like after school

13:36

clever

13:38

different people respond differently to different

13:40

people physiology like we have different

13:42

micro biomes and some people do you respond

13:45

do some research that says that we are more

13:47

attracted to people with pheromones that different

13:50

immunity profiles from our own literally

13:53

are just a different presences

13:55

and different experiences so i mean

13:57

i don't think i knew what occurred

14:00

or as was at that time looking thought it

14:02

was just kind of like my face around

14:04

in there but really really loving and

14:06

as i think more what i like about doing

14:08

that is the reaction or the

14:10

fact that you make somebody else feel good

14:12

in our bring joy to somebody elses super

14:15

hot and just caught me more excited the

14:17

guy actually came just going down

14:20

on her at that i don't think i actually there

14:22

was any like reciprocation that's why

14:25

ah that's super

14:27

high is exciting

14:30

what about now her as you reflect

14:32

on going down on partners over the years

14:34

has anything changed that you love your the moves

14:36

that you are try this or what

14:39

just like any secret now just like looking

14:41

back over the

14:42

i think it's not doing the same thing over and over

14:44

and over again changing it up and i think every

14:47

woman is different in i mean like everybody

14:50

reacts differently so trying to find what

14:52

they like but i find like a flat

14:54

tongue on clarissa

14:57

like on of whole sort of upper area

14:59

works well they'll forget the inside

15:02

and or like as far as you can go can think

15:05

i find a hand on

15:07

the pelvic region kind of put

15:09

some pressure there while you're doing it and on and

15:11

off it's cause you're holding somebody down from

15:14

moving if that's what is enjoyable

15:16

or if it's pushing on the d spotter

15:18

what exactly you're doing but doing like to do that

15:20

move an awesome all of that i'm just

15:22

like if i'm having sex having a person in just want

15:25

them to grab me

15:26

you said you identify as pan sexual have

15:28

you gone down on partners who are penis own

15:31

the have become attracted to men

15:33

but in a situation where there

15:35

is female and male that to

15:37

me is super hot and

15:39

not being forced to do it but like it's

15:42

kind of the taboo taboo

15:44

is on a taboo anymore but you

15:46

know it's something that was is exciting into

15:48

a good on a guy with email at the same

15:50

time that's pretty hot amazing

15:53

and have happened to me as was his

15:55

preferred

15:56

yeah on that know what do you remember

15:58

about your for the blow job experience

16:01

and the evolution of the blow jobs

16:03

in your life that you have receipts

16:05

i mean sometimes you get teeth which

16:07

is some , women flower

16:10

i've been with dude partners little excited

16:12

site a little bit scrape kidney little scrape and then

16:14

other ones that are like he said i'm like i'm so

16:16

sorry as they are at my mouth i don't

16:18

have have little bits okay

16:21

but not like jumping i'm fairly

16:23

well by them have a really thick

16:25

thick so sometimes harder i

16:28

don't know if it's cause i'm not become a super

16:30

tall soils fuck because it's come

16:32

up a lot in my password my partners

16:34

have been like a have was not expecting

16:37

that they don't think kind of thing

16:39

but i'm of is because i'm short and i just have a regular

16:41

sized penis it just looks disagree

16:44

with attribute that's probably not sure that's

16:46

probably because you wouldn't get the same

16:48

kind of and every partner of them with it's

16:51

been kind of like for some it's an issue

16:53

because it's too much most people

16:56

no one and some people just need

16:58

the right kind of warm up and some people just

17:00

need the right kind of little didn't you know bigger consistently

17:02

hearing back like ah let's take the thought that

17:05

fills me probably good indicator

17:07

that's a fitness affects your partner's

17:09

abilities like distorting or anything or

17:12

yeah it's harder to find somebody can my

17:14

partner tenth my ex

17:16

girlfriend before i got married she was

17:19

really good at it and she loved it

17:21

like she would sometimes just wanted getting a blow

17:23

job and not do anything else he'll

17:25

be a bit of a long distance thing so she

17:27

would come and see me soon as we got in

17:29

the house it was like pants down the

17:31

thing yeah and which was awesome

17:34

she was a little bit jealous so that kind of ended

17:36

up jealous of things that weren't happening pinocchio

17:39

said so and it was we had a really good time

17:41

sex license get that's

17:43

never sell

17:45

hello john do anything else to say

17:47

about blow jobs or do have any formative experiences

17:49

that stand out the

17:50

maybe have had a lot of them so it's hard to

17:54

see your experience that

17:56

yeah yeah for sure i like a sloppy

17:58

wants to spit the way to intermix

18:01

kissing with borders oh that

18:03

on that some the first

18:05

time a partner game he blows

18:07

up to completion and then kiss me

18:09

with a form of that was kind of

18:12

way locking but at the same time

18:14

exciting with one of those things where is pushing

18:16

your boundaries and not expecting it and

18:18

i know it's kind of one of my own say my

18:21

favorite things to do but it's super fun

18:23

when that happens

18:24

yeah easy related to all of your

18:27

fluid exchange things i can you think

18:29

take us through like each we would be

18:31

and like what you love so we have come flopping

18:33

spitting fluids like just can

18:36

you talk a little bit about when did you the notice

18:38

it with a thing

18:40

probably my mid twenties eight it kind of

18:42

started happening and i don't know why

18:44

i have no idea why it's hot to me but

18:47

it is i , know maybe it's disturb

18:49

see a bonded with some you feel like closer

18:52

to somebody somebody your experience

18:54

that same it's like i'm not like a huge

18:56

fan of like golden showers but like it's

18:58

happened before where it was

19:00

like was little bit in my mouth is okay but

19:03

not too much can handle it much

19:04

then there you know this about me

19:06

i've been there of drunk the golden shower and i'm sort

19:09

of like oh that was really hot and also

19:11

i don't know if i'm sexually aroused by the

19:13

whole thing of it and i don't wanna do it everyday

19:16

it's the thought is the idea that right yeah

19:19

yeah the closeness like effect i

19:21

didn't we call it but like sometimes i like

19:23

it from having sex have want that i want to

19:25

have come in my mouth after but

19:27

then as soon as i'm done in

19:29

a wanted to happen to my mind almost

19:32

immediately when you do logistically

19:34

like as stop it from happening okay

19:37

interesting okay so like in the actual

19:40

with a partner cool so there's a psychological

19:43

element that

19:44

totally something him i had

19:46

this this gets me excited but

19:48

when it happens when it's like immediate

19:50

it's okay but if it's like a common

19:52

than there's like a few thirty seconds

19:55

then or do it poll

19:57

the way i can really relate to

19:59

that

20:00

yeah like if someone like come over

20:02

me and i'm like laughing up the edges that's cool

20:04

especially also like wants to sit for a minute

20:07

i'm like no i'm not into the lake at can

20:09

be fresh i don't know maybe those pressures of

20:11

what about for you any part of it like a sensory

20:14

oriented like is it the feeling

20:16

of witnesses at related to the like blow

20:18

job sloppiness like

20:20

yeah i think so i think it's the sensation

20:22

don't like i love kissing kissing is like one

20:25

of my favorite thing see one but really were that's

20:27

probably the fluid thing that will get

20:29

me going like immediately one

20:32

, the things i did with a couple that i used

20:34

to see before i was married me and her were

20:36

having sex miss hairstyle

20:38

and he was like ten a singer she was

20:41

given him a blow job and then he came like

20:43

on both of us that was

20:45

kind of shocking and like

20:47

super hot and super hot immediately like came

20:50

as yeah i would experience that as extremely

20:52

hot and i get some vegetative

20:56

the question for you in terms of

20:59

sloppiness and witness and

21:01

spit do you like it everywhere

21:03

like are you an inside of the ears lick

21:05

my ear person

21:07

oh my god yes ear lobe and in

21:09

your can help that will almost make me finish

21:12

if it's very intense that and my nipples

21:14

getting like actually my ex and i

21:16

she used to like to lay beside me and

21:19

took me off then lick my nipple

21:22

and i'd have probably some of the most intense

21:24

orgasm from that

21:25

is it like slow flat legs

21:28

are like more tongues

21:29

urge you to like a variety heard

21:32

of it is right of it's because i've been like

21:34

licking some man nipples lately and i'm

21:36

just like is like this like of their you don't like

21:39

some people have various capacities

21:41

for giving feedback incredibly like sensitive

21:44

see experience the okay cool ah

21:47

some for some i can't hold

21:49

it back very emotive during

21:51

sex wow do

21:53

you feel like you're more emotive during sex

21:56

and and regularly

21:57

probably a clear he like go to

21:59

it the is currently playing music it's the same

22:02

kind of feeling no it's

22:04

just letting go is what it is

22:06

that's so freeing about it because

22:09

you know day to day life it's hard to let

22:11

go of your

22:13

facade that you put up for people

22:15

i see like after all things back can

22:17

always share i mean you're able

22:19

to which is awesome a mv

22:21

you well

22:23

i learned recently

22:26

after reading brene brown's latest book

22:28

atlas of the heart that i just

22:30

am a wired differently in historically

22:33

i'm learning like this past week

22:35

that there are so many more moments

22:37

where i am not clocking other

22:39

people's discomfort and shame and i'm pretty

22:42

sure that that's why i'm able to like here's my

22:44

thing because i think i've been missing some social

22:46

cue literally of reading

22:48

atlas of the heart and be back oh your emotions

22:51

and they have categories and you know and of course

22:53

it's just one researcher who compiling

22:56

out in the people of research though you know

22:58

i hear the envy and also i

23:00

think the reason that people exponent me accidentally

23:03

a lot where i'm like why did that happen

23:06

are you know even take on all sides i think

23:08

it's awesome i have some friends that are like that

23:10

they're just open books a boom everything

23:13

friedman i'm envious because i wish i

23:15

could be more like that your plan the thing

23:17

right now exactly

23:19

the experience a difference of turn on

23:21

between say

23:23

come on that

23:26

and all wet nurse and spit

23:28

like do they have a different texture or that like ones

23:30

were wet and messy everything is a hot

23:32

summer

23:34

i would say it's always different i think

23:36

it goes and stages of how crazy

23:38

was gonna get with fluid i've had

23:41

experience with a woman squirting on mirrored

23:43

in my face and with that was super

23:46

intense and i can get enough of it

23:48

of is like going down on i see stop me she's

23:50

a i wait we we were and i'm like what

23:53

what's happening she's like something's about to

23:55

happen and like lot smarter happen

23:57

and a dead and i was like how many more times

23:59

can we do super i

24:02

would like amazing and it wasn't

24:04

from like in a see those videos worked

24:06

as like an action you gotta do with your fingers

24:08

the gonna get your fingers your fingers red spot but

24:11

with her it was dislike eating or out and

24:13

then she just like exploded i

24:15

wanted to see her more more more more more

24:17

this is probably and as like twenty five

24:20

or something like that

24:22

have you had other partners that are scored for

24:24

developing that you're into making happen

24:26

lubbers we're going to take a quick pause from de

24:29

sac stories to remind you that six

24:31

stories is sponsored by better help online

24:33

therapy the you take care of yourself

24:36

or do you only reserves are nurturing

24:38

for other

24:39

how well and how often do you give yourself

24:41

a nice treat and if you're honest with yourself is it really

24:44

good enough for me self-care

24:46

which is a big part of myself love practice sometime

24:49

super duper in is active service i've

24:51

been steadily increasing as as

24:53

a priority over the past six years i

24:56

prioritize investing my time

24:58

and energy and good food and moving

25:01

my body and surrounded myself with friends and

25:03

loved ones where there is a moonie is slow

25:05

of giving and receiving mostly

25:07

energetically but also sometimes with actual guess

25:09

i especially love to nurture people with food but

25:11

i also eat that food myself our

25:14

feel very nourishing and even

25:16

still when still then experience

25:19

a whole month the judging

25:22

from the universe where big feelings of potential

25:24

and possibility just peter out in the

25:26

anticlimactic nothing noted

25:29

on derby helped me we ground reminds

25:31

me none of my creative

25:33

work as possible if i am ceiling

25:37

ruminating rubber band that is about this

25:39

and right now better help online therapy

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just as much as everyone else and therapy

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25:48

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and see why over two million people have you the better

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at better help dot com slash sex

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p dot com search six-story

26:19

no back to do story have you

26:21

had other partners that are scored the developing

26:23

that you're into making happen

26:25

i like to try but some people can't

26:27

do it right or don't let it happen

26:30

it's a whole thing in there is definitely a let go

26:32

and it's a whole thing here or

26:34

have been with one partner that i had to

26:36

it was the singer action for

26:38

i guess that made a happen and like

26:41

a toy than home it

26:43

was different it was like was different fluid

26:45

different was more like a loop wasn't your and

26:47

but it was kind of like on that side

26:49

like side bit salty kind of well

26:51

if we get into the score at literature and i

26:53

recommend everyone go read the vagina bible

26:55

if they're interested in these details it

26:57

seems like the schemes gland

26:59

really only give that a little bit of fluid it probably

27:02

is like your and related stuff

27:04

a lot it's coming through different places at the whole

27:06

filtration system so i

27:08

don't know they've like study that some but it's

27:11

just like yes sometimes it might be

27:13

every

27:13

make the court different but

27:17

i do remember that first time it happened maybe

27:19

strike maybe lot of water and it was dislike

27:22

clear fluids or i don't know for yeah

27:24

i mean doesn't happen very often it's hard to find

27:26

that in a partner my partner doesn't do

27:29

it now i don't really notice

27:31

that for me hydration as hydration key

27:33

the actor and i also noticed that like it's

27:35

like when company different like what did you eat helmet

27:37

to be

27:38

and whenever that earth it's the first second

27:41

have you ever the new one

27:43

be like lie down and i'm imagining

27:45

this under

27:46

although i kind of feel like you on your back

27:48

would be hot and then someone

27:51

like a partner just slowly

27:53

it

27:56

on you everywhere maybe

27:58

you're tied down you're not alone the move and so

28:00

it's just the season that

28:02

makes it to pin down your body

28:05

and then like at the very end

28:07

there's like spit on one

28:09

ball spit i mean assuming we're in a

28:12

location where all of that and then spit

28:14

on the other and spit on the clock

28:16

and minute than to go to the that something

28:18

you'd be anything

28:21

the court and , boy

28:24

a dream come true i'm sure well yeah course

28:27

the you have fantasies about like groups

28:29

of people standing around like would

28:32

you be like in the middle of have a cocker a squirt

28:34

book cocky or just like people spitting i don't

28:36

like would that be fun for you though you have any

28:38

other specific fantasies around or

28:41

are fluid or spitting

28:42

no but i have this thing for wanting

28:45

to experience more of the group dynamic

28:48

to like i think i've been in a room with for

28:50

people like when i was younger like italy

28:53

and then with a couple but i would

28:55

like to experience like a

28:58

room full of people get

29:00

even with

29:00

group like we actually do have to be careful about certain

29:03

orifices like mostly getting stuff outside of

29:05

the i actually like guy would work out

29:07

of food about in your

29:09

mouth like what would that be like dangerous

29:12

the i word i mean i'd in group

29:14

stuff i try to avoid flute exchange personally

29:16

big fan of female condoms for threesomes

29:19

and more some so that people can go

29:21

back and forth into the flopping thing and not with

29:23

no no it's not wasting condoms but

29:25

you'd have one female condom they're too

29:27

hard to get all of here early what why

29:30

was it's taken a fucking prescription

29:32

or at least i do you can't just walk into the store and

29:34

buy 'em my friend we tried to re

29:36

up the prescription and this year the things have

29:38

changed we both have medi-cal and they

29:40

are not covered this year so twelve of them was

29:42

going to cost two hundred and some

29:44

don't like with an insane work yeah so

29:46

one of my future missions i think this year

29:48

is gonna be trying to make

29:49

no kind of the thing because they are great

29:52

for group sex and i think that if we

29:54

just knew about then you'll have to make

29:56

sure that

29:56

if you are with a penis partner that they come

29:58

in them that they come on way inside

30:01

and not dribbling out the edges to

30:04

get into the vagina

30:04

though there are things to be cautious about

30:07

but in terms of having safer

30:10

more seamless streatham experience especially

30:12

in a situation where you're not extensively involved

30:14

in each other's sexual history like i'm thinking of play

30:16

party or something that's i'm a big fan

30:18

that but that for fantasies

30:21

about you and come everywhere

30:23

to watch porn that have a lot of

30:25

fluids specific stuff to watch

30:27

weren't even born i do enjoy watching it

30:29

i just haven't been in the last

30:31

little while oh what a different kind

30:33

of porn and koenig gets

30:35

more extreme the more like

30:39

i really enjoy watching them down porn

30:41

i lay group porn the

30:44

way transgender porn i'd like

30:46

to come swapping porn or

30:48

female to male mouth or

30:50

like even cuckold porn sometimes it's

30:52

fun to watch but the thing about cuckold is

30:54

that i don't think i could be that guy that

30:57

is watching who have no names i

30:59

mean i yeah i always want someone to touch me i

31:02

have experienced a lot of fun being

31:04

nick cage and getting forced

31:06

with air quotes to watch my master

31:08

suck another submissive you know that

31:10

that really fun for me but if that had been the

31:12

whole session i would be like know that makes

31:15

his twin same thing about like being

31:17

dominated i don't like being humiliated

31:20

or like it to be kind of central

31:22

like carrying like your cared about

31:25

as the sub tell me more the

31:27

submission side and when did you discover

31:29

him and

31:30

the man how has that been for you i

31:32

only talked to a handful of submissive men

31:36

well on

31:37

i hear from them a lot in the shadows of

31:40

a remote i've experienced it before like have gotten

31:43

to a professional a few times and

31:46

oh my god you find them just

31:48

on a website there was like

31:50

back page or something like that back in the day

31:52

it started off with actually he

31:54

wasn't really a dorm she would like seller pennies

31:57

and she would like masturbate

32:00

while i'm like you know i mean like yeah of mutual

32:02

masturbation i guess so that was hot and

32:04

wet suits and videos and stuff in one night

32:06

i was like having fun as was

32:09

playing guitar and a video taped

32:11

it and i sent her video saying hey

32:13

here's a video of me waking off by was

32:15

with me to stand on guitar to

32:17

let turn into mean giving her guitar lessons

32:20

in exchange for like sessions

32:22

for whatever so topless

32:24

if that was pretty fun to

32:27

see where the list of the hottest

32:29

that

32:30

the lessons like with their tension like

32:32

that's the stuff of fantasy for me

32:36

i remember specifically at the end of one of

32:38

the lessons so we would do like a thirty minute

32:40

lesson and and she would you like a thirty minute that

32:46

how much would be

32:49

a group like are dominating

32:51

fuck me latest did she fuck you with

32:53

a successor nippon no no no

32:55

but didn't want to be an escort most of the gums

32:57

or not most like a lot of people do

33:00

not realise but places you go dungeons

33:02

you go they're not there to fuck you they might

33:04

some of them to pick you not all of them definitely

33:07

not a given

33:08

it like it initially asserted no touching

33:10

but when she was she like my dad

33:12

so she every once in awhile with gimme

33:14

a little help was hot when a member

33:16

a one time after one of the lessons she

33:19

got up because of this petty cash as

33:21

for me

33:24

got ready we're getting ready to do session

33:26

and she like reached into her vagina

33:28

and pulls out a curb underwear for me

33:30

to have to take hope that was pretty

33:33

exciting funds amazing

33:36

you could squirt that was fun

33:38

thing rumor doing back and forth mutual

33:40

masturbation she with a squirt amir

33:43

wherever while i was jerking off which is pretty

33:45

super hot oh my god that is pretty easy

33:47

where i fucking love that

33:50

yeah what about panties when did you discover you

33:52

liked them do you get from lovers

33:54

to the given to you you buy him for people

33:56

it was only with her that i would exchange

33:58

and i don't know work they made

34:01

stem from my years of

34:03

like having older sisters and

34:06

and he's being around all time i don't know why

34:08

who knows who knows we never know why about

34:10

our kinks i mean some people think they do about

34:12

whoever know anything out of mouth is that the important

34:14

part animal doesn't , you

34:16

feel that the hotline so

34:18

i don't know what interested me and we're

34:20

trying to work trying to thongs i would take

34:23

boy shorts or nice rarely come on

34:25

somebody else might or might look into wanted

34:27

to know what about like

34:30

hurting ma'am or sniffing them like like

34:32

are you into panty seller like they're in

34:34

i've i've done some research about panty sellers

34:36

i really

34:37

the not doing as an old underwear and i'm like what i

34:39

do these shoes makes money

34:41

music much emphasis on ah it's

34:43

not one of my foremost fantasies

34:45

foremost fetishes

34:46

mike about partner has a sexy

34:48

pair of panties and succeed maybe they're boy shorts

34:50

maybe the lazy town who knows

34:52

the hot you if they might leave

34:54

them on and like

34:55

you fuck them through that will have the effect that

34:58

the of anything that i'm really into like push

35:00

the panties to the side and fuck me they're super

35:02

hot

35:03

the smell of them is nice to a mixture

35:05

of kind of like perfume or body

35:08

spray and but put out loud

35:12

oh oh my gosh

35:15

offer you into that you love like tell

35:17

me what other fetishes don't i know about

35:20

new experiences learning new things about

35:22

myself when i like or but what other

35:24

people like it's hot mean to experience

35:27

something for the first time maybe in

35:29

or ten other times if it's something that i end up enjoy

35:32

for just trying it for first timers said

35:34

i can really relate to that i think as a submissive

35:37

what i learned about myself as like oh

35:39

novelty i get off on novelty

35:42

the newness of things and then

35:44

when i discover something i like or even

35:46

if i don't like love it or i

35:48

guess for me if it's a scary like serve

35:50

ample a cane like i

35:52

like getting came to but i'd just

35:54

like with

35:56

play i don't want it all the time

35:58

every day you know but i like

36:00

knowing that it is on the menu now and they could

36:02

be on the menu again at some point like i like

36:04

having a wider and wider pool to choose

36:06

from for play with your dorm

36:09

lady who you saw are there any

36:11

specific the things that she did to

36:13

you that are noteworthy

36:15

especially if she didn't touch

36:17

he heard this electro one

36:20

thing

36:21

what it's called i have a neon want there's

36:23

also a violent wand and the there's also the

36:26

cattle prod which have to be really careful about with

36:28

electro play you always have to be careful about hearts

36:30

stopping via amman into

36:33

in so much but the tingling this

36:35

or that so she did that was exciting

36:37

share this little metal thing with a wheel

36:40

on the and ortenberg we'll can

36:42

we those can't look at the opinion

36:44

so she had that and she ran across

36:46

my balls and my dick and stuff

36:48

as intense like thought something

36:51

bad is going up against that of the and please

36:53

but obviously see no issues doing so

36:55

that was super hot she

36:57

had had i guess that

36:59

wanted to have like five balls

37:01

she called it so she asked

37:04

me yeah i didn't do that that was little bit too much

37:06

for me i think none the female presence

37:08

to never give my

37:10

you know what would you need to say yes

37:12

to situation like that a more gender

37:14

bounds

37:15

the i think so i don't think don't

37:17

think men the think i like

37:19

the idea of the abu

37:21

of it with a female partner

37:24

who that makes sense yeah

37:26

i personally think that all preferences

37:28

are valid it's a matter of like

37:30

issue a preference that like against a person

37:32

to keep that yourself the new the like the hot

37:35

tub bonus of it great i think

37:37

it's super hot when even if

37:39

someone is not super into

37:41

a polar a whole type of partner or another

37:44

simply for play party scenario is like

37:46

having someone who can go there who can hang

37:48

who can touch who's down for whatever it

37:50

like the i think the really hot personally

37:53

regardless of what by

37:54

yeah what a more so as as being open

37:56

minded to experiences and not

37:59

to judge people those

38:01

expenses that's kind of where i met

38:03

the same and i think that for me it's

38:05

that type of openness that like

38:08

led me to be like

38:10

never be into a woman here

38:12

i am just didn't realize

38:13

it got railed superstring you know like to

38:16

know and so like that super super fun for

38:18

me on that note of group stuff

38:20

you mentioned mf ems and mms

38:23

can you i always get the letters

38:25

and the order of a letters confused can you

38:27

just like outline what specifically your into

38:30

and what you like about it and like

38:32

the years threesome are more some

38:34

dreams consistent

38:36

i think i like both scenarios

38:38

like you said i can't remember which what goes

38:41

in , mms for having to have no it's intelligence

38:44

and i know that we can look it up but i prefer

38:46

to err on the set of just clarifying i

38:49

think like those arrows

38:52

are like the fact of to people making

38:54

one person feel good but i also like

38:56

everybody being able to do whatever they want

38:59

any to sit nicherie odyssey consensus

39:01

court and but yeah it's a hand

39:04

touches something that should be

39:06

like no don't do that kind of thing your

39:08

immunity beacon a more open because it's

39:10

you know you're already naked nerdy

39:12

do and stuff so when to suffer

39:14

holy cow , i feel

39:17

like i'm like oh we're already here on earth

39:19

were already talking to each other were

39:21

already in the same room we could be

39:23

not wearing these for okay we'll keep my

39:26

sister says

39:28

hard to be open about it i'm very envious

39:30

of you to be open about these things and things

39:32

wish i could be no one in my forties now

39:34

you think i'd be able to

39:36

no i think you have more practice not

39:38

doing it like i think that if we start

39:41

earlier it's either thing for me the

39:43

older i get in a certain group

39:46

people do i

39:48

mean i think that my first experience with

39:51

there's real like putting groping

39:53

whatever experience because it was in a group

39:55

setting i think that's affected my psyche

39:57

i guess or the way i look at life and to

40:00

be jealous of other people

40:02

and i think that's what's so good about

40:04

relationships that are kind of open for

40:06

settle have that right now but i think that that's

40:09

kind of the way the future the way i see

40:11

joshi such a horrible thing i'm

40:14

learning so much about jealousy and it is

40:16

something that is very confused

40:18

to me because i don't get activated

40:20

in the way that i know most people do

40:22

you feel comfortable sharing a little bit about

40:24

how you got to the monogamous

40:26

place you were in and what monogamous

40:29

means to you at this moment in the context of your

40:31

religion social pressure

40:33

the think is how i got to a place of

40:36

even getting married

40:38

i love how you answer that question

40:40

because the way people usually

40:43

answer is the assumption is that

40:45

being monogamous is the default

40:48

so here i hear the opposite of that

40:51

i'm a girl well i became kind of monogamous

40:54

because that's what happened how

40:56

did you become not totally monogamous

40:58

like have you done threesomes with

41:01

your partner

41:02

no not , know

41:04

it would take a lot of talk you know it

41:06

would not really sexually with each other very

41:08

often anymore so that's why

41:10

i said are you know nowadays it's kind of few

41:12

and far between us and which is a bit

41:15

sad to talk like it with

41:17

her

41:18

like you talk about the fact that you're not having as much

41:20

sex as you want to go

41:21

we did me and we went to therapy and suffered

41:23

that but it didn't really help

41:27

the real monogamous means

41:29

sometimes you go to massage parlor

41:31

okay is a powerful i

41:33

don't think it's awesome let me be really clear

41:35

it novel

41:37

now everyone has different relationships

41:39

to how they interact with the agreements

41:42

they make what seems to to me based

41:44

on my own personal experience is it

41:46

every single human

41:49

do not do exactly what they

41:51

say they're gonna do all the time every single

41:53

human like there's not a single can bloom

41:55

and i have encountered in my lifetime you

41:57

know and as and lot of judgment that we like to

41:59

throw around at each other for stuff that the

42:01

very normal and i would say that i talked to lots

42:03

of people and their lots of people that are very

42:05

very self righteous about been

42:08

monogamous and their own

42:11

rules and they have their own guidelines

42:13

and so i think that we as human beings

42:16

me to do our best to make relationships

42:19

where we are supporting each other but i've not looked like

42:21

you know and there's different ways to do all of that i

42:23

just like to be very forceful with people because

42:25

like you're not bad you're not bad like

42:27

i just want everyone in the world the know that you're

42:29

not inherently

42:33

what i would like be here some

42:35

details about massage parlors

42:38

and like how do you find them and like what's

42:40

the social nuance of lake sooner

42:43

which massage parlor euro like as

42:45

it weeks is it a hundred times worse

42:48

it's legal here or it's though

42:51

nope it's legal in california but

42:54

the toward massages not

42:55

legal in california here they

42:57

pay you whatever licensing often

43:00

only gives was to have like sex per

43:02

se in there

43:03

okay but like hands on for okay full

43:05

body massage i guess i think so

43:07

the have a proper category like is there

43:09

a sign outside that's like full

43:11

service massage and then there's like other

43:13

massage places okay

43:15

erotic massage or whatever they call i

43:18

, something new for needs the

43:20

know going to have everybody coming up to canada yeah

43:23

i think that's wonderful wonderful

43:26

get the sex workers money and i

43:28

moved he returns

43:31

excerpts idea

43:32

how do you find them sometimes it's like

43:34

word of mouth or whatever friends

43:36

or whatever the go i found one that's

43:38

really really nice and classy and

43:41

i go there's times and everybody's

43:43

like non judgmental everybody

43:46

has their own gonna specialty

43:48

like whatever specialties this

43:51

was one place has something called something called

43:53

pass and that's prostate massage

43:56

they do that i love that name

44:01

yeah so that's kind of one other specialties

44:04

they do like a new room massage kind

44:06

of stuff they do that who

44:08

is that a full body the use like some

44:10

kind of louisiana

44:13

mika we water gets really slippery i

44:15

haven't done it yet but it's totally on my bucket list

44:17

one how do they start like what's the message

44:20

and cause i've watched a couple of videos and i mean

44:22

or trying to just like think in my brain

44:23

okay here's what i would do if i was in charge

44:26

you use it distance with

44:27

like a back massage and than that spends

44:30

between your legs it's like teasing

44:33

in central and then it can

44:35

get really intense there's

44:37

one person ever see it does one

44:39

place she likes to edge that's

44:41

amazing to you have like the super intense

44:44

finish so like opie in there for

44:46

an hour or whatever that's a lot of one

44:49

you know the or know how to say stop he

44:51

just oh that

44:53

it's gonna happen and and she's real reform so

44:58

amy think or toys are sexy

45:00

things haven't explored yet that you

45:02

want to explore no or

45:04

to experience a few things are

45:06

used to have hello spotlight things when

45:08

i was single should have or now though think

45:10

that would probably help i

45:14

might wanna try those a narrow city because

45:16

they're like because prostate massager but it massager

45:18

you move your body it moves and never

45:21

tried that but i'd like to try that who

45:23

are you do try i'd love to

45:25

know how girls also

45:27

do video

45:28

we use the details and outfits that i love your

45:31

yeah i mean if you can get a video inside there

45:33

the don't i mean like i could i assume it

45:36

why am i want to look at the end that i don't know but i do

45:38

anyway

45:39

when would you say in your

45:41

sexual life have you felt the

45:43

most appreciated

45:45

probably the woman i was dating before i got married

45:48

because she was to the most open minded

45:51

to trying things and would actually

45:53

want to try different things with me and

45:55

shows and of you wanna call it caught worship

45:57

but she always like comments at how much like

46:00

i did so i'm sorry

46:02

for the preceded for my penis oh

46:05

yeah

46:05

the compliments when complements come

46:07

from a place of nadia

46:10

mean enthusiasm when i

46:12

received compliments that are clearly just

46:14

so true like where i just feel

46:17

it coming from and that earth

46:20

you're in a relationship where you're not having

46:22

the connection that you want and given that

46:24

you are a person who finds connection

46:27

is sexy what are you doing today take

46:29

care of your self agreement the emotional

46:32

for like not just like how are you masturbating but like

46:34

on a larger scale at what do you do to just sort

46:36

of like self regulate them

46:38

the current spend time with friends as far

46:40

as a gun or emotional level like

46:42

be so get along quite well with for friends

46:45

were not partners love you and i mean let the

46:47

eminent lovers one thing on earth will do

46:49

that but a year ago before the hard copy

46:51

of suitable for the pandemic i was using a cuddling

46:53

service even , nothing

46:56

sexual about it but i found that really

46:58

helped being held in a helps you

47:00

feel wanted you know what i mean i

47:03

obviously can't haven't done it since because

47:05

was things are starting open up again but yeah

47:07

again but here where we're a little bit behind you guys

47:10

as far as a pandemic coast in lockdown

47:12

and stuff but i found that really of and

47:14

doing things that i enjoy like

47:16

doing music hang out with friends like i said

47:18

just doing things that make me happy riding my motorcycle

47:21

that kind of stuff

47:23

what are your hope for your sex life going

47:25

forward in general

47:27

i would like to somehow open

47:29

the doors to multiple

47:31

people and stop worrying so much

47:33

about what others think in order mean like

47:36

open non jealous kind of relationship

47:38

is what i would like to see i

47:40

don't know if it's ever going to happen just because it's so tough

47:43

you know it's a big decision to make that

47:45

change and i don't want to hurt anybody

47:48

in the process so that's kind of scrambled

47:50

way to answer their questions

47:52

a tricky human situation do because

47:54

like i've made so many decisions

47:56

for a place of trying to not hurt the other person

47:59

and i can definitely recall instances

48:01

where me trying to like

48:03

avoid a thing led to a different type

48:05

of hurt or disconnection or

48:08

hurting myself instead you know in these various

48:10

ways so it's really really tough when people who care

48:12

about each other house needs

48:14

that at least for the moment have incompatible

48:16

strategies around being that that's a tough

48:18

place to be

48:20

those are goals of those are dreams

48:22

but i don't know yeah i

48:24

don't have given up the haven't given

48:26

up but i don't know that it's wherever

48:29

happened

48:30

oh well i think it's good to speak dreams

48:33

out loud and see if they want to evolve

48:35

how they want to evolve and just

48:37

for me when i have big wish her

48:39

desire the moment i'm aware

48:41

of it i can choose to not pursue it

48:44

but if i am like denying to myself

48:46

that it exists and just trying to function that's when i

48:48

bought into some dark places in my life because

48:50

i do i have big crazy dreams

48:52

in the world like i really

48:55

really wanna make several feature

48:57

films one of that sex ed one of his belt

48:59

wiggling they're very weird i really

49:01

want to raise enough money to get a trailer to go

49:03

around the country really want to raise millions

49:06

of dollars to build a full service creativity

49:09

resort in the middle of somewhere where we can

49:11

have play party than free to save face of

49:13

evil and like i don't know i'm going

49:15

to do any of those things but i

49:17

hope so and just knowing

49:19

that i am in my

49:21

wade doing today what

49:24

makes me feel okay like that silver

49:26

step toward pursuit you know some

49:29

speaking dream the irish

49:31

and i just like i love it a luxury

49:34

and okay pick it up on my tangents

49:36

powerful dreams can be listening to

49:38

the podcast i've heard you've mentioned

49:41

about the place with all these different

49:43

play rooms and create and place that is

49:45

that dream that would be amazing

49:46

would be amazing and end it with a really

49:49

big deal for me to start talking about

49:51

it out loud and that really only began

49:54

last april like on my birthday i could i would like

49:57

a top pocket what if i fail and the know they

49:59

will somewhat

50:00

i'm not gonna make it happen by not talking

50:02

about it you know you are not doing

50:05

i'm not doing a yeah and so it's just the baby

50:07

little step

50:08

so many people have ideas like

50:10

this but then you don't actually take

50:12

steps to make it happen it's just you know

50:14

i'm not gonna happen or it out

50:17

and an overwhelming and it's hard to hear from friends

50:19

and family like oh that's

50:21

an idea you know like some people are

50:23

scared or to run into it or whatever you know so i

50:25

think that the more that we noodle out loud of the easier

50:27

to as okay you mentioned at the beginning

50:29

of this conversation and then throughout

50:31

the conversation that talking

50:33

about sex is often difficult for you

50:35

how you feel about that now well

50:37

like i mentioned once we start

50:40

i often say more than i intended

50:43

i feel good about like a feel ago or

50:45

release in when i mean i feel like five

50:47

let go and every time i do that with

50:49

anybody's i feel better about myself

50:52

afterwards if , can get of

50:54

our gang actually details in you think that editors

50:57

okay if you could go back in time

50:59

the younger you a piece of sex advice

51:02

what age are ages would you pay what

51:04

would you say

51:05

probably would sixteen or seventeen

51:07

and probably spends a longer

51:09

time period than that i would say to myself

51:11

to be so down on yourself not like

51:14

i just said if you'll try it it's not gonna happen

51:16

so approach the person that you

51:18

want to you know don't be worried

51:20

about rejection that kind of thing what

51:23

i would thomas of is still

51:25

really here once as far as we know so

51:28

your enjoy your life that is a topic

51:30

too much worry on what other people think

51:33

yeah now more than ever we

51:35

just need to live our lives and enjoy

51:37

whatever we can the everything

51:40

i'm enjoying the own you

51:42

know for the next few years ago thank

51:45

you for much for been on the show

51:47

thank you so much router me the other

51:49

question for me

51:51

have you ever been to an actual like

51:53

sex clubs do they have them in california

51:56

lover and that is are so this

51:58

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52:00

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52:45

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52:47

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52:51

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