Episode Transcript
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All right, we're back. We're halfway through
22:38
the questions. Eight down. Eight down, eight down.
22:41
Current score is Jill4Me3. And
22:43
we didn't get the omelet one. Yeah.
22:46
Okay, okay. That one belongs to the
22:48
community at large. I am, I'm still a
22:51
little shook by that. I literally never get
22:53
anything else in my omelet, but that's fine.
22:56
Okay. Mushrooms felt right.
22:58
Mushrooms felt right? No, they didn't.
23:00
They really didn't. But also, avocado
23:03
to me doesn't go in the
23:05
omelet. It's topping. And
23:07
so I was stumped. Yeah, to be fair,
23:09
I don't want warm avocado. But it's not
23:12
about what you want. It's about what I
23:14
want. I don't think you want the warmth
23:16
of the avocado. Honestly, we
23:18
got it right. You were wrong. Yeah, my order, I'm
23:20
not saying the order is perfect, but it is my order. It's
23:23
not like it's put on top or on the side. Yeah, I mean, I
23:25
deal with the world. You say put the avocado in my omelet.
23:27
I don't say anything. I say you choose
23:29
three ingredients. You say hot slices of mushy
23:31
avocado within the egg. I guess I don't.
23:33
The one thing I say is that I
23:35
like the home fries crispy. Okay, now,
23:38
Jillian, what size shoe am I? Oh,
23:41
that's hard for me, 11? Correct.
23:44
My size as well. So you would have gotten that one
23:46
for me. I
23:49
think Amir would have known that as well, because we
23:51
do share shoes. So Jillian five, me three. Yeah, I
23:53
gotta catch up. But you're catching up. How many continents
23:56
have I been to? Okay, North
23:58
America, obviously. Was
28:00
there that story too, was Sarah holding
28:02
a heel? No,
28:05
that's the Jacob Neesaw. That's
28:07
the Neesaw. They came
28:09
out like a human chain, one delivered the
28:11
next. Right. No, Sarah was choking Eliza. Yeah.
28:13
Exactly. All right. So it's six to five.
28:15
Yeah. You need to get one wrong so
28:17
I can steal. Jill, what
28:20
brand of underwear do I
28:22
wear exclusively? Para Thieves.
28:25
That's nice. That's correct. Wow. I really didn't think you
28:27
were going to get that. I do too. And
28:32
I don't know how you like it folded.
28:34
So I just sometimes guess and then I
28:36
wonder if when I'm not looking, he refolds.
28:39
OCD style. Yeah. I know. I have
28:41
got better about. Because you voice fold
28:43
boxers in half. No, you
28:46
like them long. I, yeah. No, I fold them.
28:48
Do you like them with the folding crease on this left
28:50
side or the right side? I'll answer the next question so
28:52
don't give it away. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Amir.
28:55
Yeah. What was my daily
28:57
Starbucks order for eight years?
28:59
Steel. Grande
29:04
sweetened iced coffee and
29:07
warmed up butter croissant. Correct.
29:10
Do you know that? Well, he missed the
29:12
half and half. Well, I put half
29:14
and half in myself. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
29:17
Okay. So you try. But I don't know if
29:19
that matters but. I mean, I would have. The
29:21
swirl, the one swirl. I would have accepted. Remember that
29:23
swirl? Needs this. Yeah. Needs to
29:25
sort of get shaken. He goes shoot. With
29:28
the new in the new
29:30
post COVID
29:32
era Starbucks with
29:34
the mobile order. They
29:37
take I think they've taken the cream off the
29:39
counter. So you can't do it yourself. You have
29:42
to trust them to do it. Trust them Nizala.
29:44
Yeah. Starbucks
29:47
took a page out of sugar. Jill's
29:49
still up one right? Yeah. Seven to six. I'm
29:51
running out of opportunities here. What is my all-time?
29:54
Favorite drink. In
29:57
old-fashioned. water.
30:00
I cold
30:03
like a cold brew. All time
30:06
gear. All right. All time
30:11
favorite drink. Submitting
30:14
water. I
30:18
do love water. Is that considered a drink or
30:20
you'd like I would have I yeah, it was
30:22
on the table. But I was considering my all time
30:24
favorite drinks because I did think a lot about this.
30:28
Dave Eggers called water the unadulterated soul of
30:30
the universe. If it's wrong, it's wrong. If
30:32
I'm wrong, I'm wrong. It is incorrect. It's
30:35
incorrect. It's incorrect. So this is my opportunity.
30:37
This is your opportunity to steal. There is
30:39
a correct answer. And I think you're going
30:41
to be kicking yourself when you
30:43
find out what it is. Don't look at me like you
30:47
think I care. Oh,
30:51
oh, I
30:53
deserve that. Jake's favorite drink and
30:57
golfer is the Arnold Palmer.
30:59
I see. And I think you are kicking
31:01
yourself. We're
31:07
both concussed and tied. We're finally
31:10
tied. Seven seven with two questions
31:12
left. This is
31:14
your last question. So you could actually so
31:16
seven seven and we both missed one. This
31:18
is question 16 of 16. Yeah, this is
31:20
to win. This is to win it all.
31:23
I'm scared. What if I don't know it?
31:26
Wait, that's unfair. Seven
31:29
to seven. That means there are 14 questions.
31:31
Aren't there 16 total? There's
31:34
one we got both wrong
31:36
the omelet. Yeah. So really
31:38
is a tiebreaker. Yeah. Can I
31:40
just steal it? You
31:43
might have the opportunity. Okay. I
31:45
know it. Okay. What were my
31:48
two feet injuries? And I do need you
31:50
to be specific. Good
31:54
game. I'm
31:58
gonna phone a friend. I'm gonna call my dad
32:00
tell him I know the answer. I
32:03
get it wrong. You
32:07
fractured slash broke your
32:09
calcaneus which is your heel bone.
32:12
He's good. He's good. Then on
32:14
a hike in Hawaii that I was at
32:17
you slipped and got turf toe.
32:19
Turf toe. And those are your
32:21
two feet. It wasn't
32:23
just turf toe. What? It's
32:26
a torn ligament that
32:29
led to a surgery
32:33
for his bunions. A torn
32:35
ligament. It was a turf
32:37
toe. Yeah. It was misdiagnosed. Yeah misdiagnosed
32:39
too. It was actually a torn
32:42
ligament in my fifth metatarsal.
32:44
Yes! No!
32:48
A torn ligament in your fifth metatarsal?
32:50
What is that? What is that in
32:52
sports? By a mile. No. I would
32:56
never. I urge you to reconsider. I will
33:01
say that. Oh technicality. Technicality.
33:03
So you thought by a mile
33:06
you held up your fingers in a really
33:08
tiny. Well in this auto
33:11
order. Did I win by a technicality?
33:14
This is the it's the VAR review and I
33:16
can't have this game decided by VAR. Oh. I
33:18
think that you I think I would call what
33:20
has happened here largely a tie. Basically
33:24
I think. But you're still really pissed about the omelet
33:27
to a place where maybe. You said you
33:29
fold my laundry a lot because I actually
33:31
do a lot. Yeah that's true. I
33:33
wouldn't say. A major folder. What's a
33:35
lot? How does he fold his omelet? So
33:39
there's cream cheese, mushrooms. I wonder.
33:41
Okay. And water on the side
33:43
for dipping. We can we
33:45
can settle this the same way that we settled. Basically
33:48
I think Jake is a troll who
33:50
doesn't do his own laundry. It's my
33:52
portrait. I know you touched the car
33:54
four times. Agent tomorrow's on repeat. Agent
33:57
tomorrow. And one of the Lord of
33:59
the He's just tapping the door with
34:01
four fingers, tapping the door with four fingers. Hitting
34:04
the clicker. Hitting the clicker. We're
34:06
gonna settle this the same way. Tiebreaker.
34:08
You guys are gonna go back and
34:10
forth naming my friends from high school.
34:13
Whoa, an old
34:15
fashioned tiebreaker. Yeah, whoever can't
34:17
name an old
34:19
friend. Old friends. Here
34:21
we go. Who wants to go first? Eddie.
34:27
Mike Carnell. Jeff
34:30
Rosenberg. Let's get these. The
34:33
classics, actually. Dave Rosenberg. Okay,
34:35
Christine Remar. Lynn.
34:39
Nice. Nice with the
34:41
Lynn poll. Very good.
34:43
Jamie. Jamie,
34:49
of course. Christine, yeah, Lynn.
34:52
Eddie, naturally. Eli
34:55
Hutchinson. Incredible.
34:58
Incredible. Freeze
35:00
me up to say Steve. Steve,
35:04
that was perfect. Great. Love
35:06
Steve. Ian
35:11
Rupp. How do you know Ian
35:13
Rudd? Ian Rudd, yeah. That's really close, I'll
35:15
give it to you for sure. Ian,
35:18
nice. Where are we, where are we,
35:20
where are we? Joe
35:24
Winnick. Good, good work. And
35:26
his brother, Matthew Winnick. Joe's
35:30
brother's name is Alex, and
35:32
I wouldn't accept that in Michigan or
35:34
something. Yeah, but he's definitely,
35:38
I wouldn't say that counts as one
35:40
of my high school friends. You
35:45
also called him Matthew. So,
35:48
you're shaking. This part of the game has
35:51
a lot of tension. We're really thinking. I
35:54
feel that. And specifically
35:56
high school. Right. I'm
36:03
just like going through my mind of all these like former
36:06
holiday parties or people I've met at
36:08
bar or something and they're
36:10
just like, hey, and then I leave and
36:12
I'm like, who's that? And Jake's like, friend.
36:15
Do you know one other? I don't have anything. I
36:18
think I was gonna throw in Frank because
36:21
he was in the crew. Yeah, right,
36:23
Del Servo for sure. Okay. Frankie
36:25
Del, you're out. I didn't
36:28
have it. I didn't have it. There it
36:30
is. There it is. Frank.
36:33
There it is. Fucking Frank. Frank,
36:35
she wanted all with Frank. You know, I
36:37
would have also accepted Nate. Nate was up
36:39
there. Oh yeah, I played basketball with Nate.
36:41
Yeah, yeah. This is where the
36:43
brain would have had to keep, you know.
36:46
Well, great work. Wow, good question.
36:48
Great game. Great game. Wow, that
36:50
was exciting. This is like, what
36:52
was that? Two hours or? That
36:54
was nine minutes. I'm sweating. I
36:57
have 30 more questions. Who
36:59
knows me less? Beautiful. Now
37:01
I'll read a poem for you guys. That's nice.
37:05
Wow. I like that
37:07
they both came down to the tiebreaker. Yeah. I
37:10
asked Jeff Rosenberg yesterday for high school
37:12
names, thinking that it would come down
37:14
to the tiebreaker. No, no way. I
37:16
didn't know Ian Rupp or Rudd or
37:18
Eli Lutchen. Really?
37:20
I was like, why did it?
37:22
That's wild. I just knew you
37:24
would ask that. That's incredible. And
37:26
that actually. And it still wasn't enough. No,
37:30
but I think in that way, he
37:32
knows you so well. I knew what
37:34
questions. I didn't even think about this
37:36
game till like walked into the room.
37:38
Really, Jeff should have given his four names. Did
37:40
you know Lynn? Lynn
37:42
was part of the list. It was Lynn, Christine, Eddie.
37:45
They were at my wedding. And then those two people
37:47
that I didn't know. Right, okay, so yeah. But like
37:49
cheating for your heart. Like you really
37:51
wanted it. Yeah. You wanted
37:53
the win. Frank and fucking Joe,
37:55
I didn't know those. I'm
37:58
Jay Coddal, you knew Jay. Oh yeah. I
38:01
had those but I was also like
38:03
I should save them until you were
38:05
like throwing out some man. Yeah, I
38:07
was gone I was done. Yeah, I was
38:09
really I want to see Jeff's list. I
38:11
think it was just those four guys I
38:14
didn't know. Yeah, and you thought that'd be
38:16
enough. Yeah, plus Jeff and Dave and Mike,
38:19
right? Yeah I mean how many
38:21
friends can what person have I mean I was struggling
38:23
to I was trying to
38:25
think of them at the same time Once you guys
38:27
got Steve, I was like, who else is there? Because
38:31
I wanted to make sure but then yeah, yeah the other
38:33
guys for sure good game Wow,
38:39
I'm gonna make you an omelet cream
38:41
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Remember back yeah, you're left
39:58
with a trophy. Yes She
40:00
left with that W. The
40:03
omelet question was such a debacle that
40:05
I thought you were gonna forfeit her
40:08
instantly and on the day. We
40:10
were, that was our first fight. Yeah.
40:12
Yeah. What I saw there was a nasty.
40:14
It was, that I've never sourced. It was
40:17
tension. It was all coming out. Yeah.
40:19
Yeah. That was obviously about all the shit.
40:21
Water was not your favorite shit. Water, it's
40:24
kind of interesting because she won but it
40:26
felt like she lost. I'm definitely, looking
40:28
back on it, I only remember the ones I got
40:30
right. Yeah. But she walked away
40:33
quite easily in the tiebreaker. Yeah. Unfortunately,
40:35
like you, I think
40:37
you missed some layups and you got
40:39
lucky with some guesses, but like. It
40:42
all balanced out at the end. If you would hit those
40:44
layups, if you would hit the ones that were easy, like
40:46
the whiskey one, I really think was. Yeah, Bullet I should
40:48
have known. Yeah. I thought you
40:50
like graduated from Bullet and now you like
40:52
something else. Yeah. Yeah. And it's true and
40:54
it's planted. But I wouldn't have expected
40:56
you to know that, which is why Bullet
40:59
was accepted. Acceptable too.
41:01
Yeah. Okay. But we have for
41:03
the last segment, another sort
41:05
of weird game that I invented. Right. This time
41:07
I get to play. Yes. So
41:10
Jake's going to be doing a spelling
41:12
bee. Yeah. But there's a wrinkle.
41:15
It's as he's spelling the word
41:17
letter by letter, I'm going to be spelling
41:19
a different word in between his
41:21
letters. So Jake's not only
41:23
supposed to get his word correctly, but he's also
41:25
supposed to listen to what word I'm
41:27
spelling in between his letters. Kind
41:30
of hard to explain, but you'll
41:32
see it on the day. So
41:34
Nicole, do you have
41:36
a word for Jake to spell?
41:38
Yes. Okay. Restaurant.
41:40
Why yes. Restaurant. Oh, okay. Solid. So now I'm
41:42
going to be thinking of a word with roughly
41:44
that many letters, so that as
41:46
he's spelling restaurant, which you have to check to see
41:49
if he's doing correctly, I'm going to
41:51
be spelling a different word that you have to listen
41:53
to me spell. Okay. Hold on, don't get
41:55
there yet because I'm thinking of a word that's, because
41:57
it has to be that many letters as well.
42:00
Um. Uh. This
42:04
is the heart of the game. OK,
42:06
yeah. Ready? Yep. R
42:09
C E O S M T.
42:13
A U U T. R
42:20
E A R and
42:24
T. Did
42:27
he spell it correctly? He did. You. I
42:31
thought you were spelling company. Comp
42:35
compare. No. Come. C
42:41
O M P. It
42:47
ended with R. Come
42:53
car. Computer. Oh, nice. Computer.
42:55
Computer. OK, give me one. Now I
42:57
want to try. So, Nicole, give me
43:00
a word. And then Jake, you'll spell
43:02
a different word while I'm spelling the
43:04
word. Financial. That's
43:08
really good. All right. OK, it's hard
43:10
to close your eyes is cheating, I should
43:13
say. Just out of that rule. Closing your
43:15
eyes is cheating. Too much concentration.
43:17
Just look. OK, financial. Ready? Yeah.
43:20
F A I B N
43:22
A A I. N
43:26
L C A I
43:29
B A L L C
43:32
A I B A
43:34
L L E. Are
43:37
you done with your word? Yeah. Viable.
43:43
Did him get his word right? He did. He
43:46
got mine wrong. It was available. It
43:49
really is hard to talk and listen. Yeah.
43:51
I'm also not sure I spilt available. It
43:54
was definitely it wasn't viable
43:56
because I started with that. All right. You should do
43:58
this at the fucking script. national spelling bee.
44:00
Let's trip these 11 year old brothers. The
44:03
judges should be able to. Interject L. L.
44:05
Oh. Oh. Like
44:08
when you're counting something and someone's behind
44:10
you. 19, 20, 19, 20. All right.
44:13
Give me one more nickel. We got to get it
44:15
right. Definition. Oh, this is going to
44:17
be impossible. OK. OK.
44:24
D. R. E. A. F. D. I.
44:31
And F. I.
44:39
U. T. L. O. L. And
44:43
did I even get mine right? Yeah.
44:51
F. O. R. It's
44:55
funny, we only hear like the beginning.
44:57
Yeah, at the end. There's like, yeah,
45:00
referendum. Rageful, rageful.
45:04
Nice. Yeah. Asshole.
45:06
All right. One last one. I got to get
45:09
one for the fucking culture. I can't walk out
45:11
of here a three time loser. Surrender.
45:15
I'm dead. I'm
45:18
dead. OK. OK. Hold
45:20
on. Let me think of something. OK.
45:24
F. S. U. I. R.
45:27
T. R. U. E. A.
45:33
N. T. D. I. E.
45:35
O. R. N. Correct.
45:39
Situation. Correct. Yes. Another
45:43
advice cast. Each have
45:46
different than the last.
45:51
I got lucky because I I sort of I
45:54
was going to say S.U.R.R. without
45:57
listening. That was right. So I'm
45:59
just. and then only listening to you. And
46:02
then I'll have to spell the rest and hear
46:04
what the last few letters were. So I was
46:06
like, S-I-T-U, I'm like, it's gotta be a situation.
46:08
It's gotta be a situation, yeah, that's good. I
46:10
was afraid you were gonna get, I was like,
46:12
it seems like, I wanted to think of an
46:15
S word because I wanted to sort of mess
46:17
you up at the beginning, but you did the
46:19
perfect counter strategy, which is don't think about spelling
46:21
my own word. Yeah. All
46:24
right, what a fucking episode for the
46:27
history books. Two great games. Two great
46:29
games. I think you're listening. I
46:31
want it better than the last. Yeah, exactly. Thanks
46:34
for watching, if you're watching on YouTube. We're
46:36
also on Patreon, patreon.com/J-A.
46:40
Checking out classic Jake and Amir episodes.
46:42
That's right. Strolling down
46:44
memory lane. And we'll be back,
46:47
I guess, on Monday. Find out.
46:49
With the brand new segments. Let's do
46:52
it. Every day until we retire from comedy.
46:55
Bye, everybody. That
46:58
was a hit them original. Hey, this is Jeffrey James, host of
47:00
the Headgum podcast and
47:03
the fan favorite game show, Jeffery. We're
47:07
gonna be live streaming this chaotic, Jeopardy inspired
47:09
game show on Thursday, June 13th, at
47:12
4 p.m. Pacific, 7 p.m. Eastern. Some
47:14
of your favorite podcasts hosts and producers will
47:17
be competing, including Hayes Davenport and
47:19
Sean Clemens from Hollywood Handbook, Mike Mitchell
47:21
and Nick Weiger from Doughboys, Miles Bonsiniori
47:24
from Perfect Person, Amir Blumenfeld from Segments,
47:26
Riley Ansbaugh from Review Review, and more.
47:29
Get your tickets today at moment.co/Jeffery. It's
47:32
only $10, right? That's only, what
47:34
is it? 5 8ths the California minimum wage? That's
47:38
MOMENT.C-O slash G-E-O-F-F-A-R-D-Y. Moment.co/Jeffery.
47:45
And if you can't watch live, no
47:48
problem because the VOD version, video on
47:50
demand, will be available for
47:53
seven days following the event. So
48:00
get your tickets at moment.co. Jeffery. You won't
48:02
want to miss it. Or
48:04
miss it.
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